my self esteem is real bad

2

I chocked laughing when I saw @sportarobbieislife’s post!! I told them I would get Bad Bradley done before I go to bed… AND I DID. I tried reblogging, but tumblr hates image reblogs and messed the sizing T-T

This is my own headcanon I thought of while drawing him, not to be taken seriously >w>;

Bad Bradely knows he’s a knock off and is proud to be number two! Actually no he suffers from crippling self-esteem issues who am I kidding, but he hides it REAL well. Bad Bradley has good posture and loves chaos and noise.

anonymous asked:

Hi, so im bi but more into girls and there's a girl i like a lot and she knows im into her.. she's cool with it but she claims that she's straight although she doesn't act like one and she doesn't treat me as a friend..we are friends and we hang out a lot but she always gives me hope and then she tells me that we are friends.. it is killing me that i cant kiss her when she's right there holding my hand.. i can't stand the situation anymore..

There are some girls that play with us you know? It’s a question of self esteem…they feel observed, then liked, then loved, then powerful and then they believe they can act as they want to giving a damn about our feelings. So I will just tell you: don’t go deep with that. Try to stop yourself before it gets something that actually hurt you bad for real. The important thing to do right now is to get conscious about the situation, and don’t allow yourself to make expectations. Some girls are just straight, nothing you do may change that, so don’t let yourself believe that something more will ever happen, it will just consume you

Masterlist

Smut is in brackets
High School AUs are in italics
Genderswaps have asterisks [*]


Gerard

Frank

Ray


Gerard Drabbles
Frank Drabbles
Mikey Drabbles
Ray Drabbles

Getting real sick of being treated like I don’t matter, like I’m only worth keeping around for when someone needs me to boost their self esteem. Call me selfish all you want, but I’m so done with being strung along, lied to constantly, then to be made to feel like the bad guy when these people need to lash out at someone.

I need to have a complete overhaul, get rid of people from my life who are toxic and who I know don’t really care about me. I guess I’ve just been scared up to now to do something about it, but not anymore. I won’t put up with being the last resort anymore. It’s not fair, and honestly the only time people like this bother with me is when I meet/talk to someone new. I can’t do it anymore.

anonymous asked:

I relate to that, I have a body type that just doesnt go with the selfies. Bones jut out ribs show up its a bad time. But you work with what you have perfectly and I think your other followers would agree the thirst is real

I’m sorry that you feel some of those feelings too. I just hate it because in like March i was at my most confident point I’ve even been at and i thought i had overcome all this self esteem shit. But like I’m at what i think is my lowest low yet. I no longer find myself attractive. I look in the mirror and i think I’m fat. I know that I’m developing some problems and like it sucks because I used to find myself to be okay looking but now I just can’t get that feeling like any photo I take now doesn’t satisfy me as much as they used to

Person: Fairytales are bad. I need to give my children stories about REAL women.

Me: Can she go out and climb a tree?

Person: Nooo! She’s a girl, girls shouldn’t do that!

Me: Lady, YOU’RE damaging your child more than any fairytale can.

The Symphony of Tatsuki Machida

Once upon a time there was a loving mother who had just given birth to her first child, a premature baby who seemed much too fragile to survive trying to adjust to the world. But his mother still had faith in him and believed that tiny baby had the strength to strive and stand out - so she named him Tatsuki (tr: stand tall like a tree). This is how Tatsuki Machida, now 24 years old, rose in the harsh and difficult world of Japanese men’s figure skating. And just a week ago, that loving mother was there to see her son announce his retirement from his competitive career.

Figure skating has become an extremely popular sport in Japan and it’s been blessed with many talented skaters over the years. But as much as this has been an excellent thing for both the federation and the audience, at some point the National Championship happened and one small mistake could be enough to shatter many of these athletes’ dreams. 

Tatsuki Machida has been skating for 21 years - yet he was never a “wonder kid”. He went to practice every day and gave his best, yet 99% of the time none of his efforts paid off. He grew up and evolved in the golden era of the Takahashi-Oda-Kozuka trio, and even managed to have an admirable finish at the 2009 National Championship - he was 4th and therefore first substitute for the Vancouver Olympics. He was 19 years old. 

Keep reading

People who don’t upload their art because they say it  ‘’Isn’t Good Enough’’ , Bullshait!! Your all amazing in your own ways!!, we learn from the beginning, we don’t just suddenly come into art like a pro or some kind!

And for MY friends who don’t upload their art because they don’t feel like it

…i know you in real life…. and i know where you live….. i come at your house…. and kick yer ass

Confession: I’m really tired of being single and I get depressed every time I see my friends and other people happy in their relationships. Some days I don’t worry about it and on others I do, but when I do think about my singleness, it’s really bad. Growing up I was never desired by boys and I have always had terrible self esteem. Towards the end of high school I got a little prettier, started wearing better makeup, clothes, and hair.

I’m in college now and I’d call myself decent looking, I’ve been called pretty by different types of people, but I always have to question whether they are lying or not. I’ve never been in a real relationship before and I really didn’t start engaging in romantic interaction with the opposite sex until my freshman year in college. I’m now a sophomore and 19 years old, I’m still a virgin, never really been kissed or anything. The few guys I have talked to here at school made it very apparent within the first week of talking to them that they just wanted sex. Some days I’m just like fuck it, boys ain’t shit and I shouldn’t waste my time on them. But then I see my friends running around with their boyfriends of 1+ year(s) and I start wanting what they have. I want a guy to care for me, call me to see how my day went, buy me things out of pure kindness, want to spend the day with me doing other things not involving purely sex, and I just want someone to make me feel beautiful and wanted.

I pray every night for this and I ask God what is wrong with me; what is so bad about me that nobody sees me desirable as a long term, serious partner? Why does it seem so easy for other people to get into relationships so casually? Like I honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I put so much effort into my appearance and I do believe that I am a good person; I have a good heart and I respect everyone.

Sometimes I just want to cry because I hate feeling like I’m doing something wrong to make me undateable, I want to cry because I feel this emptiness in me that I believe would be voided if I just had someone to love me. I hate asking my friends to hang out only to find out that they have plans with their boyfriends, and then I’m left feeling like the lonely, single bitch. 

My roommate and I are friends, but her boyfriend is always over and it hurts so much for me to see them together. He treats her wonderfully, and I’m glad that she’s happy, but i also wish I could experience the same thing. I hate spending my nights alone and every time she leaves to spend the night with him and I have the apartment to myself, I feel even more lonely and hopeless. I just feel so pathetic for being my age and not having experienced any aspect of a true relationship. I hate being told “ the right guy will come along one day” because honestly, after almost 20 years of being with out it, “one day” sounds too far away or never. 😞

i tried to explain part of bpd to a neurotypical and like
  • me: you see it's like, i have no personality, i'm at a 0, and it takes other people to bring me up to feeling like a real person. i absorb other peoples personalities but i have no likes or interests or hobbies-
  • nt interrupts: see! i knew this whole "bpd" thing was you just putting yourself down! you have such a nice personality and this is just your bad self esteem talking! i'm not gonna sit here and listen to you put yourself down! this conversation is over!
  • me: *next stop on the left: Dissociation Town™*
Autistic kids don't benefit from bullying

Couple days ago I saw an article on Facebook written by an ABA therapist about how autistic children ‘benefit’ from being bullied. As an autistic victim of bullying, it hurt me very deep. It’s obvious that the author of this article wasn’t bullied at all, or possibly was at the other side of it. So I decided to put together a different list - here’s what I learned from being bullied at school. 1. I’m broken and abnormal. People who bullied and abused me at school didn’t know I was autistic. They simply saw my differences and decided to make fun of me because of it. I didn’t know I was autistic either, so I came to conclusion that there’s something wrong with me, that I’m broken and wrong. That belief stayed with me for many years. 2. Trying hard is not enough. Of course I tried to change myself and be more normal. I craved friendship and acceptance and I wanted to belong. I tried to change the way I move, be less clumsy, I suppressed my stims, I stopped talking about my special interests. It didn’t help. Every time they would find a new reason to mock me. Passing as neurotypical was not enough. 3. You have to earn friendship and respect. When I was lucky enough to be friends with someone, at least for some time, I considered it a privilege. Being respected and liked seemed like a miracle to me, and I had to earn it. I would do anything to form friendships, I completely submitted to that person, too afraid to lose them. And when they would leave the school or stop being friends with me, I believed it was my fault. 4. There’s no such thing as healthy relationships. You can guess that all bonds I formed with people were highly unhealthy. Most of my so called friends used and abused me for fun. They knew I had no other options and took advantage of me - I did their homework and helped them at tests, and I could never say no. I did everything to please them. I thought that it’s the way human interaction works. 5. You can’t trust people. One of the pranks my bullies loved is tell me lies and watch how I suffer. They would tell me that a class is cancelled tomorrow and then watch me explain why I missed it. They would tell me the wrong homework and watch me mumble excuses when the teacher asked me why I did the wrong thing. They knew I cared about my marks and used it. That’s how I learned that you should never trust anyone. 6. Being smart is bad. Another thing my bullies taught me is to hide my intelligence. Obviously I was a huge nerd and loved talking about science. Some of my classmates used my knowledge for their own good (and I was happy to help), and some mocked me for it. So I suppressed my interests and talents to make the bullying less harsh - but of course it didn’t help. 7. You can’t show your feelings. Looking back on myself, I can say that I was strong. I never cried and showed despair in front of my bullies, I didn’t give them the satisfaction. I suffered in silence and never complained to my teachers or parents, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew that I will make it worse if I’ll show weakness. So I pushed my feelings deep inside. And I still struggle with communicating emotions. 8. If you need help and support, you are weak. When I finally confessed to my parents, they suggested I should stand up for myself. 'Hit them with a book’, my dad said. 'Fight back with words’, my mum told me. But I couldn’t. I was too afraid, too broken to fight back. And my parents told me it was my fault. 'You have to learn to survive in the real world’, they said. 'We all have to do things we don’t enjoy’. I needed help, and it made me weak. Because I couldn’t survive alone. 9. People are cruel. I learned my lesson. People are inherently bad and cruel. I shouldn’t expect them to be good, I have to be careful. It’s better to be ignored than to be bullied. Don’t say anything, they may laugh at you. Don’t try to make friends, they will bully you. Be careful, keep your head down, be silent, be invisible. I disappeared in the crowd, and it helped me survive high school. I became a ghost, and I gave up on humanity. It was much more easier. 10. The real world will never be a good place for you. For several months during my teens I was contemplating suicide. I didn’t plan on actually killing myself, but I lay silently in my bed and wished I would just die. The only things that kept me going were my special interests, daydreaming and fictional worlds. Books and tvshows were my only friends, the most loyal, safe and comfortable things in my life. I learned to hate the real world and enjoy my own, imaginary one. It was my only reason to live. I don’t think that it’s bad. A lot of autistics live in the world of their own. I love fictional worlds. Even now, when my life is much better, they are still the most important things in my life. What I regret is that the real world will never feel as good as fictional. It’s just too spoiled with bad memories, and it hurts too much. I could have avoided it, but it happened and I can never go back now. This is what I learned from being bullied at school. I’m sure it has a lot of benefits, such as social anxiety, trust issues, communication problems and nonexistent self esteem. I wish that the author of the article could read this, and think carefully about what they have done.

anonymous asked:

I think mental health in archi school should be addressed. Personally, due to some unprofessional instructors, and due to the nature o the study (subjective) I'm finishing my journey with a damaged mentality. My depression got worse, my self esteem crushed, and I get anxiety attacks every time I try to work. I do love the field, but my uni did a very bad job and I feel that this needs to be talked about to protect future students

Architecture school has a well deserved reputation of being torture. I am not sure if it is to limit the number of graduates or if it is to prepare you for your career. You are not alone, every architect out there went through a similar experience. The real question is, if you know the professors were unprofessional why do you let them determine your self-esteem? 

You are giving others far too much power and clients/supervisors will not be any better, after all, they are paying for your work! You need to find your own path where you allow yourself to be good even if you are not perfect, where you can receive bad feedback from a client and work to make it better, where you won’t come unglued when your supervisor criticizes something you did wrong. 

I am not saying that you should expect your whole career to be a struggle but I am telling you there will be good days and bad days, you have acknowledged it, if you can’t resolve the problem by yourself, seek help. It will be time well spent.

Originally posted by nevermindtheb0ll0cks

Steve wins (Y/N) back. (Part One?)

With a little help from Tony ;)

INTRODUCTION:


Hey! It’s been a looooonnnnng while since I’ve posted and/or been active on this blog! I’m SOOOO SORRY!! I don’t have a good excuse, but I can put some of the blame on writer’s block. HOWEVER, I did come up with this idea that I’m quite proud of that actually didn’t take me that long to write, considering I just let the words and ideas flow out of me like water. Or pee… But I’ll leave this here, and I hope you enjoy it!


(Y/N) = Your Name



(^^ that is basically the only abbreviation that I use in this lol)


PROMPT:
You’re an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D and have also been dating Steve Rogers for the past few years. The team is on an important mission that puts them up against HYDRA. Fury assigns you to help out. This makes you excited as you are really looking forward to it. It’s your first real mission where your need for adrenaline could finally be fulfilled. However, Steve doesn’t approve of how much danger Fury’s putting you in. He wants you to sit this one out, but you refuse.


***


You and Steve decide to grab some frozen yogurt in the Stark Tower’s kitchen. You’ve prepared a serving each for the both of you, and as the two of you are in the midst of your midnight munch, Steve initiates a dreaded conversation.
“Hey, baby. So… about the mission…” He starts.
“Oh my gosh, I know! I’m so excited! I’ve been waiting forEVER to be assigned to something like this!” You exclaim.
Steve just stops guiltily in his tracks, wondering how he can word his thoughts. You notice his odd facial expression that doesn’t match how you anticipated this conversation would go.
“What?” You ask, worrying that something went wrong. That maybe the mission was cancelled.
“Please just hear me out.” He starts again, putting his half-eaten bowl of froyo down on the counter beside him. You already knew where this was headed, causing you to roll your eyes.
“No, Steve. I’m going on this mission and that’s final. I’m already on board with it. Fury’s orders.” You interrupt, not knowing how else Steve could object to this when it was already set in stone.
“Baby, that’s not the point! It’s too dangerous for you, you can’t handle it!”
You just gave Steve a stunned look. You couldn’t believe what just came out of his mouth. Before he could even correct himself, you had already taken offence to his statement.
“What, my training that was 80% from you doesn’t make me good enough for S.H.I.E.L.D.? My past training missions don’t qualify me as a real agent? Is that what you’re saying?” You snap at Steve, grabbing the both of your half-eaten servings of frozen yogurt to tidy them up while Steve chases after you.
“No! (Y/N)! Please, just listen to me, I-”
Turning around to face him, you ask, “What is there to listen to? I’m pretty sure I don’t have the self-esteem to make hearing how bad of an agent I am easy.”
You can’t believe that he still won’t let this go.
“No, (Y/N). That’s not what I meant, I would never say or think that! This is about your safety!” Steve desperately tries to plead.
“But Steve, this isn’t about MY safety! This is about us finally putting an end to HYDRA for the safety of the WORLD.”
“(Y/N), I couldn’t ever put you in any sort of danger, you’re too important to me. I just want you to be safe and away from HYDRA’s crazy agenda and weapons. Please, my love.” He says in his most soothing voice. You just stand there, still offended. Looking down at your feet, you feel Steve’s strong arms gently pulling you into an embrace. He softly kisses the crook of your neck and says, “I love you, (Y/N). So much. Please don’t be angry with me.”
“Fine.” You reply, muffled into his chest. Lifting your head up to make eye contact with him, you say, “But I’m still going on the mission, alright?”
You wonder why it took him a few seconds to answer.
“Okay.” He says with a sigh. The only thing that mattered to you was that he actually agreed with you on this.
He then leaned down, and the two of you shared a soft kiss to conclude that this conversation was over.

Two days pass by in preparation for Operation: Detonate HYDRA’s HQ. Director Nick Fury begins naming off the chosen agents/avengers who will be boarding the quinjet.
You await your name to be called after eight members of S.H.I.E.L.D. were already on board.
“…Clint …Banner …and Sam. Agents, we will initiate take-off momentarily.” Fury concluded.
You were confused. You must’ve missed your name, why wasn’t it called?
‘No. It better not be why I think it is…’
You think to yourself, scrambling out of your seat to catch Nick.
“Hey, Fury! W-wait!”
He turns around and greets you.
“Make it quick (Y/N), we’re running out of time.”
“Um… Aren’t you forgetting something?” You say, pointing to yourself and your whole body.
“Your placement on this mission has been over-ridden. You’ll be staying behind with Maria and Coulson.”
“But.. How…?”
At that moment, Steve turns up at the entrance, “Fury, we’re ready for take off.”
He panicked as he seen you there, hoping he wouldn’t catch you when you found out.
Anger and betrayal began boiling up inside of you. “Steve, did you have anything to do with this?”
You watch as Steve awkwardly tries to avoid the question by looking around for anyone who could possibly take over the explanation. With no such luck, he proceeds, “Please, (Y/N) this is the only way I could ensure your safety. It’s going to be too dangerous out there.”
“You know it’s nothing I can’t handle, Steve. I’ve been in preparation for the past 17 months, now! I’ve passed every single test and obstacle and I even out-battled you twice!”
“Baby, it’s not that you’re not qualified. You’re one of the best agents we’ve recruited! I told you, I couldn’t live with myself if I let you out there.” Steve says.
“Well, then what was the point of even recruiting me? What was the point of training me? Do you even want me here at S.H.I.E.L.D.?” You snap at him.
“Yes, (Y/N) of course I do! I just don’t want to lose you!” Steve pleads, taking several steps towards you.
“Well, it looks like you just did, Steve.” You say, taking just as much steps back. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe in me. You went behind my back and this is where I draw the line. It’s over.” Even though you were holding back tears, your anger did a good job of hiding it. You hadn’t ever seen your now ex-boyfriend cry before, so it came as a surprise. But you knew you couldn’t give in.
“No! Baby, don’t! Please!” He begs of you, reaching out his hands to stop you from walking away. A few tears had already streamed down his face.
“Just leave me alone!”
You began running back to the suite in Stark’s tower that you and Steve had shared and locked the door behind you after you entered it. You didn’t care if you made a scene in front of everyone. You weren’t in the best condition to sensor what you were truly feeling. The fact that Steve went behind your back after he agreed to let you go on the mission was the biggest slap in the face from your relationship. It’s not like you needed his permission, anyway. You found it quite barbaric that he would even think he had a say in what you did for S.H.I.E.L.D. You felt hurt and gutted. The pit in your stomach forcing you to feel it’s pain.
Since there was no sign of anyone down the hallway for the next hour, you had assumed that the quinjet had already taken off and the agents were well into battle. That’s when you heard a soft knock at the door you were still settled by.
“Hey, (Y/N) are you okay? Coulson sent me here to check on you. We were hoping you had calmed down by now.” You hear Maria’s voice through the steel door.
Taking a few deep breaths to prepare your shaky voice, you answer.
“I’m fine… I-I just need to be by myself for now.”
“I understand. Please, if there’s anything you need, Coulson and I will be up at the sky-deck.” She assures.
“Thank you.” You finally spit out after a long sigh.

—–

It’s been a long, stressful week of ignoring and avoiding Steve. You had opted for the extra guest dorm at Stark’s tower for obvious reasons. Any and every way Steve could contact you would be forbidden and blocked thanks to JARVIS accepting such a request from you. All of the S.H.I.E.L.D duties you had been assigned to over the course of a week were keeping you quite busy, anyway. You had no time to deal with your emotions.
Some of the other Avengers and agents attempted to bring up Steve in conversation with you on multiple occasions. Yes, it stung a bit every time, and yes you had noticed that the tower had begun to feel quite lonely. You were informed of Steve’s current condition being worse than yours, as a matter of fact. You thought it safe to just deal with work first, and your personal life second. This caused you to avoid any real answer or reply to such allegations from the team.
As you had taken an elongated lunch break during a hectic day, you decided to prepare your favorite: a paleo grilled chicken stir fry. Just as you were grabbing a plate, you heard your dorm door slam open, scaring you out of your wits.
Turning around to face your intruder, you exclaim, “Oh heavens, Tony! What are you doing in here??”
“Well, this IS my tower!” Says a suited up Iron Man through his mask’s speaker.
“Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?!” Your heart was still pounding in your chest.
“No, but I HAVE heard of closing the goddamned door!” Tony says sarcastically while kicking the door closed behind him with his boot. He then jet-flew towards you in the kitchen area.
“That’s amazing, Tony. Now to what do I owe this pleasure of your unannounced presence?” You ask.
“Oh, I was just in need of a little one-on-one consultation regarding the kryptonite remedy of a hang-nail.” Tony replied, exaggerating the admiration of his own metal-hand.
You let out a tiny giggle. “And I’m assuming it’s beyond the capacity of your suit’s massive weaponry, because I can’t think of any other reason why you couldn’t just do this in person.”
“Hey.” Tony said humorously stern. “A hang nail is not something to joke about. My suit is the only thing that makes me feel man enough to confront such a tragedy. It’s a part of me, and to be honest, I’m quite offended you would even question the suit in the first place!”
You just rolled your eyes.

—–

The next day, Tony raced over to find Steve as urgently as possible. He had many ideas that he planned on entertaining to the Captain of how he could win back (Y/N). He figured he was alone in their suite just like he was every day for a week straight after he had completed each of his S.H.I.E.L.D duties. To Tony’s suspicions, he was right.
“Cap, I’m coming in!” He said through his Iron Man mask.
Steve was just lounging on the couch trapped in his cloud of heartbreak again.
After Tony had over-ridden the lock’s passcode, he stormed in with an excited announcement.
“Hey, kiddo! How’s life?” Tony chimed, floating 10 feet away from where Steve was sitting
“Well, the same–” Steve started to answer.
“Doesn’t matter, that’s not why I came here!” Tony then flew over to him so he was facing Steve comfortably.
“So… About (Y/N)–” Tony actually managed to stop at the sight of Steve’s hurt reaction because of the mention of her name. “Look, I know this is a sensitive subject. But trust me, you’ll want to hear this.”
Steve shifted uneasily in his seat, attempting to look anywhere but at Tony in case he broke down in his emotions again.
“Well, it wouldn’t be proper of me to not actually ask how you’re doing, so how are things today?” Tony asked, trying his best not to trigger anything.
Steve just sighed, “Nothing’s better, nor changed. I’ve just been contemplating how I could even talk to her. I’ve tried everything this past week and nothing has worked.”
Tony didn’t know how to respond.
“Well, since I am in no way a therapist, or ooze anything therapeutic from my personality, I just… wanted to know if you fancy winning her back?”
Steve then sat upright in his seat, which was the most sure he’s been in a while.
“Of course I do! She’s all I’ve been thinking about since that day on the quinjet, since I first met her, actually! I miss her with everything in me. I want to make it up to her.” Steve says.
“Well, she LOVES a little feline play-time at the animal shelter and consuming the delicacy of marshmallows topped with whipped cream if you ever wanted to tickle her tastebuds! I also hear she’s quite the fangirl of Disney On Ice, so maybe try wearing a leotard one of these days! And–”
“What did you ACTUALLY come here for, Ton?” Steve interrupted, not having any of Tony’s shenanigans.
“I actually have something to show you that might be of interest to you.” Tony said while clicking a command button on his forearm that projected a holographic screen of his previous encounter with (Y/N) that he got JARVIS to record.
“Just sit back and watch!” He commanded Steve, who willingly complied.

Steve watches as Tony barged into (Y/N)’s dorm, scaring her and beginning to make small talk with her.
“…My suit is the only thing that makes me feel man enough to confront such a tragedy. It’s a part of me, and to be honest, I’m quite offended you would even question the suit in the first place!” He hears Tony say in the video which is from Tony’s point of view.
He watched (Y/N) roll her eyes with a scoff and make her way into the living room area. She planted herself on the couch to begin forking at her lunch. He is then transported into the living room with the screen recording while Tony flies over to join her.
After she has taken a few bites, Tony begins, “So… Not that this is any of my business or anything, but how are things with gramps?”
Steve gave Tony a glare.
But that was enough to rid (Y/N) of her appetite, forcing her to drop her fork back onto her plate. She placed her slightly untouched meal on the coffee table in front of her. It hurt Steve to see the woman he loves in so much pain. He just watched helplessly as Tony appeared to have hit a nerve in her. He could tell she hadn’t really touched upon this topic yet as it took her by surprise. She didn’t look up at Tony at all. She just stared at the floor, letting her emotions get the best of her facial expression.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything–” Tony begins guiltily.
“No, don’t worry about it. It’s bound to come to light sooner or later.” (Y/N) says, composing herself and not yet making eye contact with Tony.
“Should I come back another time…?” Tony suggests.
“No. I need someone to talk to.”
Steve felt sympathy for (Y/N) avoiding everyone that he felt momentarily relieved when she was finally beginning to open up to someone. Even if it couldn’t be him.
“Okay, sure. What’s going on?” Tony asks, cutting all of the sarcastic one-liners crap just this once.
Steve just soaks in every word of (Y/N)’s confession. It filled his heart with hope when she continued on about how much she still loves and misses him. It makes him want her back even more. He just wants to be with her again.
“So then, what’s holding you back?” Tony asks her.
(Y/N) let out a sigh.
“I’m just feeling too many emotions right now. And on top of that, I’ve had numerous assignments daily that don’t allow me much time to myself to put these emotions to rest. I just need to clear my mind somehow so I can deal with this in a healthy manner. I haven’t had that chance, yet, I guess…” (Y/N) trailed off, lost in her thoughts.
Steve then notices Tony urgently mumbling something to JARVIS when (Y/N) isn’t paying attention.
(Y/N) snaps out of her daze and says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. What–”
Tony interrupted her, “Oh I was just wondering if you’d be willing to share some of your chicken vegetable masterpiece?!”
(Y/N) chuckles. “Go ahead.” She says with a smile. Steve didn’t notice the smile that grew on his own face.
Steve didn’t catch what Tony mumbled to JARVIS either, but made a mental note to himself to ask what it was, come the end of the video.
Tony managed to grab a to-go container of (Y/N)’s dish to take with him.
“Well, I hate to keep you from your gourmet Chicken a la carte, but I’ve gotta run and participate in some Iron Man business.” Tony says while taking off his helmet to shove some pieces of grilled chicken in his mouth. (Y/N) just gave him a weird look for what he called her meal.
“It’s alright. You’ve been great company as always.” She replied in a sarcastic, teasing manner.
“Hey!” Tony says, jokingly offended. “I could’ve gone somewhere else and wasted my intelligent mind on wrestling a fossilized superhero or something!” He then put his Iron Man helmet back on.
Steve gave Tony a humored reprimanding look, as if that superhero comment was aimed at him. (Y/N) just giggled again in the video, managing to warm Steve’s heart.
“Alright, have fun. And don’t break anything!” (Y/N) called out.
“Only the country of Russia!” Tony replied casually while taking off. (Y/N)’s mouth just dropped open in shock and she didn’t say a word. This caused Steve to laugh out loud.
Tony can see how much Steve misses her. Watching (Y/N) just be her happy self again for a moment made Steve feel good inside.
Tony then flies out, stopping the video at (Y/N) and him waving a goodbye to one another.

“Although I really enjoyed the video, I have to ask if there was an alternative motive on making me watch it? Despite me seeing how much I miss her…?” Steve asked.
“Do you remember what she said before I asked for her chicken stir fry?” Tony asked.
“…That she didn’t catch what you said?” Steve guessed.
“Before that.” Tony corrected.
“That she needed to clear her mind?”
Tony just gave Steve a look as if he was getting somewhere, and moved his hands in a forward motion to keep going.
“And… What did you really mumble to Jarvis?” Steve asked.
Tony then pulled out a ticket reservation to an all-inclusive spa and therapy session for (Y/N) to go on with Pepper.
A lightbulb goes off in Steve’s head as he says, “I hate to heighten your ego even more, but-”
“But I’m a genius?” Tony knowingly states.
“Okay, I’ll give you that this time.” Steve admits.
“I commanded JARVIS to book this. But after that, you take her to a fancy, expensive dinner–on me, of course–where you beg for her forgiveness… Possibly on a beautiful yacht under the glittering night sky, on Wednesday the 18th, at 9:30pm under the Brooklyn Bridge?” Tony hurriedly concluded.
“I don’t think I have a choice to back out of this, considering I’m pretty sure that this isn’t just a suggestion?” Steve asks.
“Why would you wanna back out of this?! I made expensive reservations!” Tony exclaims.
“Not that it’s a problem for you.” Steve points out.
“You’re right. But trust me, she wants you back. She’ll say ‘yes’.” Tony persuades.
“You better be right. I’m willing to do anything.” Steve states.
“I’m always right, and this is the best thing you could do!” Tony reassures.
“Just place this reservation package in her room for the spa day, and she’ll find it, think Pepper put it there, and she won’t even suspect a thing!”
“Why can’t you?” Steve asks.
“You’ll know where to put it, you still technically live together. And I pulled strings for all of this to happen on such a short notice, so I’m making you do it.”
“Okay.” Steve agreed. “I’ll do anything for her.”
“That’s what I figured.” Tony said.
They exchanged farewells until they met up again three days after.

Tony agreed to be on the look-out on behalf of Steve in case (Y/N) decided to come rolling around while he’s hiding the spa package in her room. Tony had over-ridden her dorm passcode to let Steve in.
“Okay, I am giving you this buzzer in case of an emergency. You don’t want to openly call out for help because she’s programmed JARVIS to block your existence from here. Just press this and I’ll be on my way.” Tony explained.
After Steve has entered the room and closed the door, Tony hid in a storage closet down the hall. He feels like he’s invading her privacy since she clearly doesn’t want him here. But the plan is to act as if Pepper put it in here, since it’s signed by her. Steve hated to think that Tony outsmarted him in winning back the love of his life, but he was just grateful that Tony cared enough to even do anything, anyway. After all, Tony has a lot more experience in enchanting the ladies than Steve. He wouldn’t have been able to conjure up anything like this on his own in the first place. As he’s debating which spot would be the most noticeable place to put the reservation package on, he hears some distant footsteps advancing down the hallway. He dismisses this until he hears (Y/N)’s singing, “🎶 Needle and the thread, gotta get you outta my head. Needle and the thread, gonna wind up dead 🎶”

[~“Stitches” by Shawn Mendes~]

Steve stops dead in his tracks. He wants to hide somewhere, but is too afraid (Y/N) will find him. He begins pressing the buzzer Tony gave him like crazy. He heard a door slam open out of no where, followed by Tony yelling “Hey there, damsel!” Which scared (Y/N) out of her mind.
“Gosh, Tony! What the heck are you doing?!” (Y/N) exclaimed.
“Catching you before you get rest and are too tired to look at what I have to show you.” Tony nervously stalled.
“Is this really necessary?!” (Y/N) was still catching her breath.
“It is, as a matter of fact!” Tony exaggerated.
“I just have to put away my bags…” (Y/N) said, pulling out her keys from her purse.
Steve keeps on buzzing Tony.
“Bring them with you! I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer! You’ll want to see this immediately!” Tony says urgently.
(Y/N) just gives him a skeptical stare.
“This better be good..” She says, following Tony down the hallway.


***


Okay, I hope you liked it!


Please let me know if you would want to read a Part 2 sometime, hopefully a LOT sooner than it took to get this one up after my first imagine!


I promise I come up with imagine ideas somewhat often, and I’m not usually this slow at executing them!


Thanks for reading, and follow me if you want to see more imagines!


I’ll even take some requests if you have any :D

anonymous asked:

I'm curious (as someone very much pro-SwanQueen), do you have/are you aware of any serious actual problems with Robin and Regina? Or is it more just that it's canon and mutually exclusive with SwanQueen?

Hey there, Nonnie.

That’s a pretty loaded question, so please forgive the length this will probably end up being. Also, I’m in mobile, so bear with any typos 👀

As I’ve noted before, I was excited for Regina to get a love interest. The woman deserves to be happy more than anything, and I was thrilled that they’d be giving that to her, even if it wasn’t with Emma. And then we met Robin. My issues with the acting aside (which, yeah, they do impact how I see his character, but ultimately have no impact on my dislike of the ship, because I love Regina enough to just want her to be happy… But not with someone who treats her the way RH does), some things stood out to me as problematic fairly quickly:

1. Having met in FTL, they did not mix. And , yeah, I know, neither did swan queen when they first met. The difference being that Emma and Regina slowly worked through their issues and grew together, whereas Robin and Regina went from “ew he’s disgusting and annoying and a waste of space” to “twoo wuv” within the span of, what, one episode? Because of a tattoo. Soulmate or not, I, as an audience member, need to see that they have more in common than being told they should shack up by a fairy, because that leads me on to…

2. Without the foundation of an organic growth to their relationship, Outlaw Queen started feeling a hell of a lot like a prison for Regina, much like her relationship with Leopold. She has to be with him, or she won’t be happy. How is that a healthy message? She shouldn’t feel pressured into a relationship with someone, even if the pressure comes from a magical source.

3. Again, their relationship lacks any growth and development, because once the tattoo was revealed, Regina had insta-heart eyes. But Regina, who has a regrettably low self-esteem, is terrified of losing her only chance of happiness (and here, I refer back to 2… How is that a healthy notion?!), so she doesn’t allow herself to fully be herself around Robin. You can tell that when she snaps at him in Lily, it’s the first time he’s seen her angry. He has never seen or personally interacted with her as the Evil Queen (s3 she might have been in her evil wardrobe, but she was still Henry’s mother Regina, not full-blown Evil Queen), and that creates a rather worrying lack of understanding of who she is on his side. Take Shattered Sight, for example. He tells her he’s not scared of her worst self - a very stupid thing only someone who’d never met or understood the Evil Queen would ever say. If Snow White and Prince Charming are locking themselves away to stop them from doing bad stuff, then you can bet that it’s a good idea to be scared of the Evil Queen being unleashed.

4. He feeds her low self-esteem. And this is where my real issues with this ship as it stands now, come in. I know and understand that he was put in a shitty position in s4. I’m not invalidating how hard it must have been, to consolidate having your wife suddenly come back into your life. What I cannot - will not - accept is the way he dealt with it. Pushing Regina away for Marian at first made sense. Marian was the mother of his child, that made sense and was reasonable. Yes, it hurt Regina, but there was also a sense of finality there. He’d be with Marian now, and work to rebuild his family. Except the second Marian was in a frozen coma, he fucked Regina. Not only was he cheating on his wife, making Regina The Other Woman, he also told her (not through words, but through actions… Again, remember, Regina thinks she deserves very little - if any at all - good things in life) that she was second best, little more than a replacement body for when his wife wasn’t around to fulfil his manly needs. And Regina laps it up, because she’s so desperate for any kind of love, and this man is supposed to be her happy ending, so she’ll take what little he gives her and be happy for it, because he’s her only chance at happiness. See how utterly, wholly unhealthy that notion is?
And it gets worse, because he then chooses Marian again. I’ve said this before: I know Marian had to leave town because of the whole frozen thing. But they had the scroll; there was nothing stopping Robin from visiting Marian one town over. He’d have gotten a divorce, and they could have arranged for visitation with Roland. It’s not like divorce isn’t a thing, it’s not that hard a concept to grasp. But no, not honourable Robin Hood. Honourable Robin Hood tells Regina he loves her, leaves her for his wife, deletes her contact from his phone and has sex with his wife (all within a few months since leaving the woman he “loves”? Really didn’t take him very long to get over Regina, did it?). And even when he finds out he’s been duped, and it’s been Zelena all along, he still picks her over Regina, looking at Regina like she’s a crazy, jealous ex. And all this feeds and feeds and FEEDS Regina’s insecurities. Because if her SOULMATE treats her like that, is it really any wonder that she has so much trouble accepting an honest attempt at friendship, or trusting someone who only wants to help her, with no agenda, no addendum, just because she cares? Suddenly her confusion over Emma’s sacrifice hurts even more, because she’s never had someone be so selfless in their love for her (and Henry doesn’t even count here, because she had to fight for that - and rightly so, she was in a bad place - and even then, I think she’s constantly scared that he’ll turn around and not love her anymore), so she doesn’t know how to cope. But this is not about Swan Queen, so I’ll stop there before I go off on a very long, very mushy tangent.

To sum it up: I don’t like Outlaw Queen because of what the ship has done to Regina. I don’t like Outlaw Queen because Robin’s brand of love isn’t a good, healthy love, especially not for Regina; it hinges on who’s available at the time, and he’s proven that he’s not too bothered who that is at any given time. He won’t fight for her, but lets life - and the easy way, always the easy way - dictate who gets his “love” (read: dick. Which, according to Zelena, ain’t even that impressive anyway) at any given time. And that, I cannot abide by.
Also, the retconning they had to do to fit him into the story made him look shady af. I know he’s probably not, but it looks it, so I also don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. I especially don’t trust him with Regina Mills’ heart.

Hope that answers your question :)

Tired of Fighting the Truth.

“I hate having to look at her ugly face every day”

These were the types of comments growing up I received from boys who had to be around me in school. Those were the type of comments that started me feeling as if I had to apologize for the way I looked. Those were the sort of comments that came from bullies.

From my so called “friends” when asked if anyone was interested in me (because how could they be?! Just look at me!) I would, of course, lie and make up a boy because of how lowly and depressed I felt. To one of these tall tales, one ‘FRIEND’ replied: 

“Aw so he doesn’t care about looks.”

That hurt. But I’m ugly. I’m not allowed to feel pain. I just have to stop being ugly.

Through the years I’ve found ways to fake it. I deluded myself into thinking that I wasn’t all that bad. Then I would catch myself in the mirror and take selfies without all the masks I’d created and saw the real me.

Saw a gigantic nose that took over my entire face. Saw the low hanging jowls/cheeks that only ceased to exist when I severely sucked in my face. Saw how my eyes sagged and dragged my face even more downwards than it already is. Saw the ugly under chin fat that has nothing to do with my weight as I’ve never been heavy.

In the one REAL relationship I’ve ever been in, with a severely troubled male who had his own self esteem problems, I remember other women giving me horrendous how the hell did SHE land HIM looks. 

All of that is bad enough. To make matters worse, I grew up along side of family members who looked like models and never gained weight. The rage and jealously I have had towards them have ruined our relationship entirely. They weren’t amazing people and were pretty cruel to me too, so It was a two way street BUT I could NEVER complain to anyone about them because NO ONE would EVER say ANYTHING could possibly be wrong with people THAT gorgeous. Everyone always defended them. I was the ugly one therefore I was the only one to blame.

I even remember being REALLY young and having their BITCHY ass grandma (who they LOVED of course) aways tell them how gorgeous they were when I was over, and then she’d purposefully ignore me so that I would make SURE I knew how hideous I was.

So they win. Beauty wins. Everytime. Us beasts? Sit here hating ourselves for a lifetime. Trying to fill this void that may never get filled because we’re trying to avoid facing the entirety of all the self hate.

Like others have said, complaining to anyone even remotely normal looking is useless. So is living in rage and cynicism, though.

I’ve come to the point where I’m almost 30 and all I want to do is look like a normal human being. I’m tired of a world where the acceptable “ugly” girls are just gorgeous girls with acne. or glasses. or just overweight. You can lose weight. You can’t lose ugly. And if you’re born this way you just have to suck it up and shut up. Because no one wants to hear it. They just don’t want to have to see it.

No one “normal” looking seems to understand that being ugly is an EVERY SECOND of EVERY DAY problem. There’s no hiding it. You don’t get some sort of solace. We aren’t living in a world where one ugly selfie is out and we’re scared someone saw it on facebook. We ARE the ugly selfie that people seem to get so ANGRY to see. As if we’re bothering them by existing. 

Most people just think why don’t you get plastic surgery then? As if its super affordable and not scary at all. Maybe I just don’t have the guts. So I’m a gutless, ugly, jealous, and terrible woman.

Don’t forget selfish though! I can’t tell you how many BEAUTIFUL women have been “disgusted” with my superficiality, because they’ve NEVER had to deal with people who cannot stand them because of their looks. So they volunteer and help others and are SO happy in life and can’t fathom how I could just be SOOO negative or pessimistic. 

Being a religious person does not help this. I’m not TRYING to be ungrateful to God. I struggle so much with hating myself for wanting to change what He gave me. Basically trying to imply that He got me wrong. I don’t want to do that. But when so many people are telling you through looks, words, and actions that you are NOT OK….what else do you end up believing?

That’s another struggle. The morality of changing what you’ve been given. Even if you believe what you’ve been given is a huge test. ther religious women will wonder how you could be so vapid and sinful by not being grateful to God when they look like models as soon as they wake up. 

I’m so glad to have found this website. It’s so nice to release this in a safe space. My friends all try to coax me, but I know the truth, and it makes me angry to receive false complements and be told my “thinking” just needs to change. I’m ugly. 

I’m tired of having to pretend that I don’t see that.

2

Dear Taylor, It’s been 3 months since you followed me, and I haven’t really introduced myself completely yet, and I feel like it’s about time so…here it goes :)

I’m Catthy, as you may or may not know. My name is actually spelled with two t’s and that’s because it is pronounced a bit differently in Vietnamese, but to simplify things, most people just pronounce it as if it were spelled “Cathy”. I currently live in Northern California ✌️ and am 13 years of age.

I’ve been a fan of you ever since I heard Tim McGraw on the radio, and by the time Fearless came out, I knew I was practically obsessed. Everyday when I got home from school I would watch your music videos over and over again. Soon enough I would cut out every magazine photo of you and put it in a 2 inch binder that is now completely filled with print outs and magazine cut outs of you 😂. I was over the top obsessed by the time Speak Now came out. Then, came Sep. 2nd of my 5th grade year. I had just got home from school and as soon as I get into the car, my mom goes “Go home and get ready” and I’m like “For what?” and she goes “Your dad was able to get some Taylor Swift concert tickets from his work place, so, we’re going to the HP Pavilion right now”. When I heard those words I was literally speechless. No words could describe even close to what I felt. The Speak Now Concert was AMAZING. I couldn’t believe how close I had come to you. Little did I know that 4 years later, I would be closer to you then I ever imagined. 

So 2010-2013 passed, and Red was released. I was super happy about the album, but that year, wasn’t a very good year for me…I was constantly pushed around by this one girl who thought I was weird or something…she often came up to me and pinched me out of no where. But hearing some of the lyrics from “The Best Day” gave me drive, and that year, I got all A’s and was put into advanced math. One or two years later, I found out about tumblr. Hearing about the Secret Sessions and the presents gave me so much hope but a small part of me with the low self esteem always told me that nothing like that would ever happen to me. But on 2/10/15 you proved me wrong. When I saw your name pop up in my notifications as a follower I literally couldn’t believe it. I clicked on your url 20 times to make sure it was really you, and I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. After you liked several of my posts it was becoming real. My self esteem has only gone up from there, thanks to you :) Also, because of you, I have met several of my closest friends, my squad (its-a-swiftie-metafour badbloodmadmadlove taylorkeepdancing tthelightsaresobright thatyoucouldbetrusted illseeyouinmywildestdreams youlllseemeinyourwildestdreams blood-runs-bad idkxtaylorswift) 😊. You inspire me in so many ways. The way you treat your fans like friends, the way you are constantly donating to charity, the way you care for hospital patients, and the time you spend getting to know us fans. I don’t think anyone could live up to the standards that you reached. I love you so much Taylor, and I hope you know that because of you, I fought through the toughest times of my life. 

Love, Catthy ❤️

P.S. I took those selfies at Walmart, so no, I do not have a shopping cart in my house 😆

In the spirits of the Oscars I would like to address something.

Many people like to believe that the worst shows out there are keeping up with the kardashians any shows on Disney now or Amish mafia. Although some of those shows are pretty pointless or seem silly the truth is keeping up with the kardashians is entertaining and at least it doesn’t affect my self esteem. Sure everyone wants to look like kendall or kylie. But no matter what with the TV show or not kendall would be modeling and we would still want to look like them. The real shame in the TV industry I like to believe is the fashion police. And it’s not because im a fashionesta and I think they all dress bad. No. It’s the sick idea that celebrities are playing a game of dress up to impress women and men who sit on their asses all day and point out the flaws that they themselves might be insecure of. Im a person who hopes to be on the big screen someday. And I know Joan rivers will somehow still be breathing when I do so but I don’t give a shit what she has to say about the dress I choose in my Oscar debut does any celebrity? Does there really have to be a public worst dressed and best dressed. Why can’t it consist of friends and family watching the red carpet who only know what they like. Not what is supposedly in this spring. In keeping up with the kardashians we learn about stuff to. We  learned in season one when khloe was scared and insecure we learn to one face your fears and two love who you are. In season say 3 or so we find out that we all go through an awkward stage because kendall and kylie are really gorgeous. None the less there aren’t many messages with keeping up with the kardashians although I don’t watch it enough to know them, but there are far worse ones when you go to Tv guide on a Sunday night at say 7:30. Because truthfully if you believe they aren’t doing anything morally wrong then you should also realize that the red carpet is about acknowledging celebrities who have been nominated and have done great work in the past 365 days. Not who is the best dressed of the night. The Oscars isn’t the Victoria secret fashion show, nor is it fashion week. It’s a celebration of cinematography that was on point this year. So Joan Rivers I have a message to you. I don’t care that when I make it if you hate me or love me. If you call me out or not your not scary you’re a bully and going through a high school with rich kids I’ve faced far worse then your comments about Adeles award having spanx. Your jokes are not funny. They are awkward forced and hurtful. I believe you could be funny but what you joke about is ridiculous. You have plastic surgery so clearly you know what its like to not like something about you. The only person I dress to impress is myself and im impressed. Black leggings some boots and a sweatshirt. Masterpiece. We fight over our ideas that societies media is corrupt. Well maybe if we started to get rid of what is a core problem we’d feel a little better. Because every award show season I feel bitter while watching Joan rivers make fun of people and people laughing with her. What celebrities wear isn’t something to analyze and dissect. If they like the dress well that should be enough for you. the most ridiculing should be between you and your mom about which dress was best. Not on ET or Fashion Police, Not on Extra or any other overrated news station who wouldn’t know an important news story if a starving child was under their desk. (Because its so important that Kate Middleton bought milk the other day. yes that was real news story). There is far to good in the world then we are making people believe. If they like the outfit. Then that should be enough you can scoff all you want and sit there smug and feeling powerful. But the truth is they are there winning awards. What are you doing besides gossiping and being so obsessed with them anyways?

2

LOFT 89 STORY: 

First off I just have to say that I cannot believe I’m actually typing the story of MEETING TAYLOR. I have read so many of these over the years honestly I have always  been addicted to living vicariously through people’s stories so I can’t believe I now have my own. Everything about this is crazy. So basically we made a huge clean sign for the Edmonton show and we held it all throughout Vance’s set and then when Taylor came on we started singing and dancing like crazy. During IKYWT this woman came up (idk who she was, I really  wish I’d gotten her name) and she said “Are you having a good time at the show?” I said “YEAH” and then she said “how many people are in your group?” I said “3” and I held up three fingers. She said “have you guys ever met Taylor?” I said no, and started bawling and shaking then she pulled out the orange wristbands and said “okay you guys are going to loft 89 after the show to meet Taylor” we all started bawling and we were lying on the ground screaming and hugging. Everyone in all the sections around us were staring. By this point Taylor was done IKYWT and was on to the introduction to IWYW. We just tried to enjoy the rest of the show after that point but we were in such shock. Then during Clean we held our signs super high and then when she finished our sign was shown on the huge screen behind her that her face had been on. We kept screaming and we just couldn’t believe it. As soon as Shake It Off ended we ran out of our seats and sprinted around the arena. We got to the section and we were the first ones there. We sat in the seats and waited. After going over all the rules, they took us to loft. We were at the front of the line so we went to the room first. It was really small but soooo cool and beautiful. There was pizza water diet coke and cookies. We took a bunch of pictures and there was music playing and Taylor music videos playing the TV. We waited for like 20 minutes and then the girl told us to put our phones away and then like 8 minutes later Taylor came in. She talked to 4 groups before us. Then she came over to us and hugged us all. She touched the silver ribbon on our shirts and said, “This is so intense! Did you guys have like parties to make these?“ And I said "yeah we had multiple parties. We watched FRIENDS and made them.” Then Kelsey asked “Do you want to hear what happened last night?” and Taylor said “Yes!” Kelsey and I told her that the night before we had been working on our outfits when Kelsey’s cat got out and her neighbors came into the yard and told us that there was a bear coming into the yard so we should be careful. Taylor said, “A bear??!?” and then for some reason I responded with the incredibly stupid answer, “Yeah a real bear!!” oops. Then Taylor started talking about that’s her nightmare and she’s worried whenever she has the cats in LA because of the coyotes. She said something along the lines of, “Meredith I’m not as worried about but Olivia would just be like "hey guys what’s up!!” (In Dibbles voice) We told her we went inside and watched FRIENDS to calm down and she said “Yeah that’s my go to stress reliever.” She pulled out the sharpie and held it upright in her hand in this really adorable way and kind of waved it around and asked, “Soooo what can I do with this??” When she asked my name I said, “Hayley like Hayley Williams so H A Y L E Y” and she said, “Oh so like phonetically!” We asked her if she had seen our sign and she said that she can see everything that lights up and that’s why she wanted to have the LED bracelets. Kelsey showed her that the bracelet she had from the Vancouver show still worked and Taylor said “I love that they still do that after the concert. That’s so fun.” And she started tapping our bracelets like kind of drumming/pawing at them. “I’m so glad to know they still work like a week after the show’!” Then she asked what we wanted for the picture and we said, “Well we were trying to figure out how to take a three person picture so that one person is not on the end.“ and she suggested we have one person stand in the front.I wrapped my arm around her and gripped her arm real tight (looking at the picture you can see that I have this friendly death grip on her which I feel bad about but I just couldn’t believe I was touching her.)  Then I realized I hadn’t given her the gift yet so I said "I have this for you. On each piece of paper I wrote something I love about you.” Then she leaned in so close and looked right in my eyes and said “for my bad self esteem days!!!! Thank you so much. I need this.” And I lost my mind!!!!! I couldn’t believe I actually got to give them to her and that she knew what they were for without me even saying anything. And then we all gave her our letters. She said, “This is so thoughtful. Thank you guys.” Then Sandra started crying and thanked her for playing Fifteen. She hugged Sandra and said, “I’m so happy I chose the right one! I only picked it like three songs before, so I’m glad I picked the right one.” Then Kelsey said she needed another hug and Taylor said “group hug!!!” We all went in for the hug and she wrapped her arms around us and said “my children!!!” in the cutest voice possible. ASDSFJHKH;SLK. Then as she was starting to leave we said, “we’ll be here tomorrow!” And she did a little dance while walking away and said “see you tomorrow!!!” I have never been happier in my entire life then I was in that moment, and I genuinely cannot believe it actually happened. It’s everything I have ever wished for. I’m sorry this is so long I just didn’t want to forget anything!! Taylor, thank you a million times for that night, and every night. I love you sooooooooo much. 

Reminder of the night: it’s not just romantic relationships that can be abusive, and you owe it to yourself to acknowledge that, and to get out