my roommate is the best

anonymous asked:

hello it is i, baeksoo anon, speaking to you from the grave.

rip baeksoo anon R.I.P

baeksoo might not happen very often but when they happen they happen SO MUCH

“I would like to have Baekhyun as my roommate. Among the members we get along the best.” - kyungsoo (x)

-

“Let me say this one last thing before I leave. Baekhyun has always been the center of EXO, he has always been protecting us firmly. I’ve always wanted to tell him how thankful I am for him…”

- Kyungsoo || 160506 Kyoong Day Party (via ethereal-baek

Hamilton characters as things my friends and roommates have said at college
  • Washington: Every time you don't keep your side of the room clean, god kills a puppy.
  • Angelica: Honey, if that boy talks to you again and you don't like what he's saying, send him to me and I'll kick him so hard in the ass, he'll need my foot surgically removed from his mouth.
  • Maria: I look like a hooker in this dress, but not a cheap one. Like, a really expensive one. For the guys who wear nice cologne and suits.
  • Laurens: I don't know if I'm gay. Or straight. Or bi. I don't know what I am. I just know I have to pee now cause I'm so stressed about this.
  • Hamilton: I want to have a party just about me. Like, no music, no dancing, nothing. Just an empty room and me with a mic, so that everyone will come and have to hear me talk.
  • Eliza: I feel so guilty, I ate sugar before lunch. My mum always says it's unhealthy to eat sugar before noon. What have I done? I'm a horrible rebel. I need to go call her and apologise.
  • Peggy: DUDE IM NOT A GARBAGE CAN STOP THROWING YOUR FUCKING GARBAGE AT ME AM I THAT UNNOTICEABLE JESUS I HATE YOU ALL
  • Jefferson: Everyone here is so goddamn stupid.
  • Burr: Either I'll kill myself or my dorm-mate before summer break. I don't know which yet.
My Best Friend’s Brother

Summary: You’re not prepared when your best friend and roommate’s handsome as hell brother shows up on your doorstep, and you quickly realise the attraction isn’t one sided.

Words: 3.4k

Sam x Reader

Warnings: AU (no hunting), smut, reader gender unspecified

A/N: this was written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog‘s Tropes Challenge - my trope was Best Friend’s Brother

“Uh, Dean?” you called over your shoulder into the apartment you shared with your best friend, never taking your eyes off of the man at the door.

He couldn’t be Dean’s little brother. Dean’s little brother was all limbs, a lanky, gangly kid; he had puppy-dog eyes and hand-me-down band tees.

The person in front of you, though… this tall, strong, gorgeous man, couldn’t be Sammy.

Keep reading

bffs ponyboy & johnny as college roommates !
  • ponyboy gets up early to start coffee for them, but he’s clumsy and perpetually sleepy so he kind of always makes a mess
  • the apartment is really small but they’ve decorated it all cute (maybe have a sort of soft green+blue+neutrals aesthetic going on?)
  • ponyboy makes the grocery lists but they go shopping together
  • johnny always gets onto pony for leaving his painting stuff, notebooks, & homework everywhere
  • they both love living together bc it’s always peaceful & quiet (unless the gang comes to visit….)
  • johnny brings home dinner sometimes after work or class
  • ponyboy always has music playing but johnny doesn’t mind bc he likes pony’s taste in music
  • if one of them falls asleep on the couch, the other will always cover them up with a blanket
  • the first time they did laundry together they mixed up all their clothes, so now they just share everything 
  • johnny always has to check the door before he goes to bed bc pony forgets to lock it all. the. time.
  • they 100% take care of each other when they’re sick
  • johnny hung up some of pony’s art on the walls bc he is the sweetest ever & wants to support his best friend’s talents
  • & pony always helps johnny study when he needs it
  • they always say “hey i’m home” when they come through the door bc they’re basically an old married couple

anonymous asked:

Any advice for picking up chicks?

Snape: God, why don’t chicks ever go for Nice Guys like me?


OOC// Pro tip: my roommate says that the best way to pick up chicks is to scatter kernels of corn in front of them…

I HAVEN’T SEEN IT BUT I’LL DO MY BEST also the roommate sitch heavily inspired by @bullysquadess’s roommate au

  • because, you know, of course it’s Ikea
  • they found out each other’s identities years ago, when they were like 15 or 16, and now they’re 22 and they really deeply crave independence
  • or, well, Marinette does
  • Adrien moved out the second he turned 18, and now lives off his trust fund in some ridiculous high-rise condo all alone and living off takeout
  • both of these facts come up in a conversation on patrol
  • the conversation goes something like this:
  • Marinette look… I can cook…. I will cook you whatever the hell you want if i don’t have to pay rent… I will be your live-in servant of I don’t have to pay rent…
  • Adrien: you don’t even have to cook just keep me company god they won’t even let me keep fish I am so alone
  • Marinette: ……when was the last time you ate something that wasn’t takeout
  • Adrien: ……………um…
  • Marinette: ….I’ll cook.
  • and so it begins
  • but the thing is, in the four years Adrien’s lived in that apartment, he never managed to buy a couch
  • he doesn’t even have box-springs for the mattress on his floor
  • he has a mattress, a refrigerator, a kitchen that came with the apartment, a desk, and a chair
  • Marinette just looks at him
  • you cannot live like this, her eyes say
  • yes, mistress, say Adrien’s
  • so
  • Ikea
  • they have a condo to furnish (9’-’)9
  • the first pun sneaks up on them while they look through the selection of bed frames
  • ………………..you’re going to have to imagine the puns because I’ve never seen the video and I don’t remember which language Ikea product names are in and by god I am terrible at coming up with puns
  • but yeah
  • chat puns
  • bugaboo snickers
  • they move on
  • the second hits when they pass by the little kids slide and Adrien needs to attempt to slide even though his legs alone are longer than the tiny slide
  • it’s probably some pun on the Swedish word for children and Ladybug’s better nature but I wouldn’t know
  • Marinette is left covering her face with her hands and torn between pretending she doesn’t know the asshole in the kids area and laughing helplessly
  • those puns really are much more funny when she’s not worried he’s going to spend more time thinking of them instead of thinking about staying out of mortal danger
  • somehow, Adrien comes into his own in the midst of trying out the recliners
  • Marinette has to remind herself that they are in the middle of a store and someone has to keep them on track, or they’ll just end up giggling their way out of the door with no more furniture than when they started
  • or, worse, it’ll be uncoordinated
  • Marinette will not abide by an uncoordinated living space
  • his pun game steps up around the shelves
  • with the shelves come the examples of living spaces and, as much as she loves him, Marinette can’t resist a few jibes
  • “would you look at that?” a mock gasp. “so much furniture! wow Adrien, maybe you should close your eyes. i wouldn’t want you to get overwhelmed or anything.”
  • “my lady, you don’t need to put me on a shelf. I might look free-floating, but I assure you I’m quite well-braced.”
  • oh my god you doofus”
  • look basically they’re the most ridiculous newlyweds-slash-best-friends to ever go furniture shopping
  • and they’re not even together yet
  • when they finally get to the warehouse, it takes them too many trips to get it all out the door
  • and then they have to drive it all back and take it up to Adrien’s seventh-floor apartment
  • they give up halfway through and pass out on Adrien’s floor mattress
  • it ends in cuddles
Business and Pleasure (Spencer Reid Fluff)

Summary ~ Faking a relationship, turned into something you hadn’t expected

Words ~ 1020

Request ~ No

I sat on my couch waiting for my roommate/best friend to get home from work.  I heard the door open and I looked over to see Spencer. He slammed the door dropping his coat and bag on the floor before walking straight into his room and shutting the door hard. I was shocked I looked between his door and the front door, trying to figure out what just happened. I got off the couch walking over to his coat I hung it up and walked over to his door.
“Spence” I said opening the door I saw his laying face first on his bed. I sat down on the bed rubbing his back asking him what was wrong.
“Work” He said rolling over.
“What happened?” I asked.
“The guys don’t take me seriously. They think I am just a brain, Morgan doesn’t talk to me about normal guy things, and when I try and join in with the conversation they just laugh and say ‘You wouldn’t understand kid’ The girls treat me like an innocent teen that knows nothing. I am just sick of it, I know just as much about girls as the other guys do” He rubbed his hands over his face annoyed.
“Aw sweetie, did you say anything to them?”
“That would make me look like a dork” He sighed, I pulled him into a hug rocking him side to side.  We pulled away and I gave him a sympathy smile. He looked at me shocked and then looked me up and down.
“Wait you are a girl” He said.
“Are you only realizing this now?” I laughed.
“Help me” He groaned.
“What do you want me to do?”
“Okay this is going to sound crazy but what if you came to work tomorrow and 'surprised’ me and pretended to be my girlfriend, then the guys would see that I know about girls” he said hopefully.
“I dunno Spence that sounds kind of risky, what if they realise I am just a friend?”
“But they won’t, you will show up with lunch for both of us, I will hug you kiss you on the cheek, we will talk like normal because we practically talk like a married couple already. Then you will say goodbye” I looked at the hope in his eyes.
“What do you want for lunch?” I smiled
The next day I got up and spent extra long making sure I looked good. I wanted to really impress Spencer’s friends. I was kind of excited about pretending to be Spencer’s girlfriend. I like the idea of him calling me his. I put on my outfit checking myself in the mirror. I went to the office asking at reception what floor Spencer Reid was on. I got a lot of looks as I walked down the halls looking for the right place. I saw him standing beside a tall guy and a skinny blonde girl.
“Babe” I said walking up to him. He turned around smiling and brought me in for a hug.
“I didn’t know you were coming today” He smiled.
“Surprise. I brought lunch” I said holding up a bag.
“Thanks hun” He said intertwining our fingers. “You look gorgeous as always”
“Well I have to compete with you”
“There is no competition, do you want to eat at my desk?” He asked.
“Sounds fun” I smiled.
“Hold on Reid, are you not going to introduce us?” The guy asked.
“Hey, I’m Y/N”
“Nice to meet you I’m Morgan this is JJ”
“Lovely to meet you”
“So how come Reid has never told us about you?”
“We don’t like to mix business and pleasure” I said winking at Spencer.
“Oh my God” He laughed.
“And there is a lot of pleasure?” Morgan said sarcastically.
“Well lets just say that the case isn’t the only thing that keeps him up at night” I laughed.
“Okay that is enough, lets go eat” Spence said pushing me away chuckling.
“Nice talking to you” I said over my shoulder. We sat down at his desk and laughed slightly.
“Wow you are really good at this” Spencer said.
“Yeah, well you weren’t so bad yourself. We ate our lunch and chatted like we normally do, then we said goodbye.
“I’ll see you tonight babe” I said wrapping my arm around him.
“Yes you will” He said before pulling out of the hug. He looked behind me briefly and then back at me. Suddenly his lips were on mine and his hand was on my cheek. I loved the kiss, I had imagined it before but it was nothing like this. I savoured the feeling and the taste until be pulled away.
“Bye babe” He said smiling. I smiled back turning around and walking out. I walked home in a daze of happiness, confusion and sadness. Why did he kiss me? Was it just the act? Does he like me?
I sat at home once again waiting for him to get home, I wanted to play it casual and act like nothing had happened but I knew that I would burst if I didn’t ask him. He walked in the door hanging up his coat and looking over at me.
“Hey” He smiled.
“Hi” He kicked off his shoes and sitting down beside me. He took the remote searching through the channels and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him.
“You are staring” He said his eyes never leaving the TV.
“Why did you kiss me?” I blurted out.
“I thought it would help with the act” He said looking at me.
“Oh so it was just for the act?” I questioned. There was a long silence as he stared at me, I could see the debating in his eyes before he broke the silence.
“No” He leaned closer and pressed his lips to mine. “I like you” He said between kisses.
“I like you too” I smiled into the kiss. He broke the kiss abruptly.
“Really?” He said shocked.
“Of coarse, even when you had weird long hair” I laughed.
“Shut up” He groaned leaning back down.

—————————————

Snapchat ~ crazey_jadey

so after I reblogged the old-timey Mulaney screencaps from Difficult People, @unicornery messaged me:

“you’re going to find a way to photoshop old timey Mulaney into Fantastic Beasts, aren’t you ;-)”

well I about died, tried to do it myself, and failed miserably… so my roommate and best friend @sparkstilinski made these and, well, you’re welcome

yooo roommate!ashton would so be the type of guy if he heard a loud thud while you were in the bathroom and he rushed to find you curled in the fetal position whimpering because oh shit you think you broke your arm but you’re also naked so he’d involuntarily scream out apologies while throwing his hands to his face because - hell, no matter how great you look in your birthday suit - his mama raised him right. but even with his eyes closed he’d still try to help you - despite his fumbling hands, accidental groping, and every word uttered from his mouth being an ongoing stream of “sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry-”

my familiar.

i know this probably will sound completely unbelievable, i have a hard time believing it myself sometimes. but it’s the truth.

a few years ago, i lived with my best friend, now the godmother of my children. she’s the most incredible soul. but that’s another subject. 

anyway, i lived with her. at some point, i decided i wanted a pet. my roommate already owned one large dog, so we decided it would be best- and i decided i was happiest- to get a cat. specifically, a female cat. i talked about it with her extensively, while i collected things i wanted to have before i brought the cat home. i had told her i wanted to wait for a solid black cat with green eyes, but by chance, i came across an old friend who offered me a kitten who needed to be adopted out quickly. of course i would take her. i was so thrilled, i had her all set up with everything you could imagine a cat to have. she was my princess. she was the runt of her litter, a black and white, meek little thing. so precious. 

i’d had her for about a week, maybe less. one night at work- and my roommate and i also worked together and carpooled at the time- toward the end of our shift, i got this really bad feeling in my stomach about my kitten. i was really anxious. i told myself a thousand times, there’s no logical way that, and even if my kitten was somehow in harm’s way, that i could “sense” it without any evidence whatsoever. but i couldn’t shake it.

on the way home, i envisioned how silly i would feel when i got home and rushed upstairs to my bedroom and find my healthy, little kitten, comfortably waiting for me. i held this image in my mind over and over.

but when we got home, my kitten was in the corner of my closet, weak, limp, and wheezing.

forward two hours, and the veterinarian is telling me the kitten’s lungs didn’t develop properly. that her lungs were too small to support her growing size, and there was nothing to be done to save her- my options were to let her die a slow, agonizing death, slowly suffocating. or to allow the veterinarian to humanely put her down. 

after i signed the consent forms and paid all the fees for the merciful option, 

i went outside and lost my mind. i was hysterical. this little thing relied on me for life, and when i had a physical instinct regarding her, i denied and ignored it. only for it to have been so, so right. i was devastated, to say the least. i can’t tell you why. of course losing a pet hurts everyone, it’s awful. but i reacted very drastically. it really felt like my heart had been shredded inside my chest. so much guilt.

i went home and downed two bottles of - honestly, rather strong- wine,  while crying in my bedroom and punishing myself. i ended up going to some small party with some people i knew at the time, and continued drinking. i woke up at a friend’s house- safe and unharmed, but with a wicked hangover.

about that time, my roommate calls me and asks where i am. i explain the situation. she tells me i need to be home, and offers to pick me up. i tell her where i am.

i get home, and she takes me to my room. at this point, i realized she must have done something to cheer me up.

we stand in my room for a few moments, waiting for something, and then have a conversation that went something like this:

me: i’m a little confused.
her: honestly, me too! i brought you something, but now i don’t see her…
me: her? what?
her: i… i got you another kitten. i know it won’t be the same, and i know it’s really soon. but the what happened wasn’t your fault, i had a bad feeling about the whole thing- ever since that person first approached you about it. they had to know she was too little, and they adopted her out anyway. 
me: so… you got me a kitten? and put her in here, and now she’s gone?

we looked all throughout that room, at every even remotely possible hiding place or escape route. nothing. there was no way out of the room, especially considering it was second floor with no opening windows. we scoured the room. we started to think we were losing our minds. we sat down the floor, and just as she started to apologize and try to come up with an answer to this lost kitten… i saw two, big, round, green eyes open up in the farthest back corner on the bottom shelf of my black bookcase. 

we gently lured her out. she was this little, solid black kitten. with green eyes.

my roommate had spent the entire night locating, specifically, this cat. she was in a neighboring city’s pound, she was called “#4″ out of a group of numbered kittens which were picked up on Ostara. Despite being part of the group, she was the only cat given an isolated cage. (i also should mention that the number 44 is, and has always been, my roommate’s lucky number.) she adopted her, and brought her home to me, in an attempt to give me an outlet for all of the emotions i was having.

normally, i couldn’t just replace a lost pet overnight. i am painfully sensitive to death. but i couldn’t deny all of the coincidences in this cat, as though she was meant for me. 

admittedly, it took me a long time to bond with this kitten. she was incredibly shy and skittish for the first few months i had her. where my lost kitten was always happy to sit in my lap, sleep in my arms- this cat scarcely let me pet her. among other things.

i did love her, but i felt so much more guarded about her. i didn’t let myself adore her like i had before. 

but forward a few years later, and this cat (now named ‘Q’ in honor of my roommate and i’s friendship) has seen me through some absolutely terrible times. she’s been with me through awful experiences, ones too coarse to share. she’s developed a personality that is so real, so close, so human-like, that only i have ever witnessed. 

she does things in front of only me that i can’t believe a cat could do. i’ve seen her pick up pieces of milk-soaked cereal in her paw and eat them one at a time, i’ve seen her catch a fly in one paw. she comes when i call her by name, every single time, no matter who is around, no matter what time it is, no matter what she is doing. if she’s asleep, she will eventually wake up to me calling her- and she comes to me. she is now more affectionate with me than i can sometimes handle. she will nuzzle and cuddle endlessly if i let her. she will spend enormous amounts of time gazing into my eyes. she lets me rub and kiss her stomach. the bond i have with this cat is… just ridiculous. the stories and memories with her, are absolutely ridiculous. it’s ridiculous how many little quirks and characteristics about her i have memorized.

i’ve always playfully said that she is an old soul, who has been a human many times before already. when i talk to her, i know something is happening in that little head of hers. 

and maybe i’m an absolutely crazy cat lady, or maybe she’s my familiar, or maybe some combination of both. but this is (the short) version of the story of Q.

it’s an open secret. eric bittle, jack’s roommate, comes to the home games often, brings nutritionist approved cupcakes and cookies. picks jack up from practice, brings jack stuff that he’s forgotten, and always cheers him on. jack’s always talking about bittle’s job, what bittle said during dinner last night about the play, what bittle did yesterday, how bittle would have skated out of a check. “it’s bitty’s birthday,” jack would say, “i’m thinking of getting him something.” 

bittle comes with jack to the falconer’s christmas party hosted at tater’s place. georgia and her boss knows that he’s jack’s emergency contact. if you want to know where jack is and he’s not answering his phone, you call eric bittle. at gatherings they share fist bumps and hipchecks, and sometimes jack will sling and arm around bittle’s shoulders, but all in a show of good friendship. 

“he’s my best friend and roommate,” is how jack introduces eric bittle to people. “played on my line in college,” he says, “fastest skater i’ve ever seen, you should’ve seen the way he spinned around the offense.” 

when asked how he felt being single at 29 when most of his teammates were married with kids, jack always replies with a version of “i’m not seeing any girl, the most important woman in my life right now is my mother.”

cameras almost never to catch eric bittle’s face, he’s treated like one of the masses of fans that jack zimmermann has. in his vlogs he almost never mentions his boyfriend, claiming that he’s shy and doesn’t want the attention. but he does talk about the awful protein cookies that jack tried to make the other day, and anyway here’s a better recipe for you jock types who want to gain muscle! 

sometimes theyre able to sneak away somewhere further, where no one follows hockey and jack’s able to place his arms around eric in a romantic way. eric will talk about the festival in the middle of nowhere that theyre visiting, and jack will listen contently.

they’re good. they’re all good. 

Where We Stand Now

Part 22 of A+ Secrets

Summary:  Heading back to California with Dean after the break, and towards the DNA test results.

Word Count: 2140

Warnings: Implied Smut

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving everyone! My day started off with my 3 month old nephew’s poopy diaper, then my 3 year old nephew asking “Why” a million bajillion times. Tons of food! And another kid puking on the dog’s head at dinner. You could say it’s been… eventful ;) Anyway, it’s Thanksgiving so I’m just gonna take a moment and be thankful for my family. I just love them so much. I’m also thankful for my roommates, who are some of the best people I’ve had the opportunity to meet. I’m thankful for school (sometimes) and work (even though I complain all the time) and chocolate and ice cream. I’m thankful for all of you and I hope that you all have a relaxing break (for my American friends, anyway. I hope my international friends have a relaxing few days). Here’s some domestic fluff!!

A+ Secrets Series Masterlist


“Can we have a few weeks with no family?” you asked, leaning your head back against the seat. The dry, dusty landscape of Nevada was speeding past the windows of the Impala and you could almost smell the warm California air. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and yours, but—“

“But that was a lot of family,” Dean agreed.

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MY TWO ROOMMATES WENT VEGAN!

I live with my two best friends all the way back from my early childhood and they have watched me on my vegan journey for two years. I have struggled so much living with them and watching them participate in animal exploitation. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve been looking in the kitchen for something to eat, only to have my appetite ruined by seeing a block of cheese, a gallon of milk, or a bag of frozen chicken. I have always been unapologetic about my veganism and the reasons behind it, so they both knew the horrors of animal exploitation and they knew that this exploitation could not be justified, and starting in 2017 they both went vegan! I am BEYOND excited! Yesterday they got rid of ALL of the animal products in the house!!!! Let this be an an example for all of the vegans struggling with friends and family that are carnists. Do not give up! You are really making a difference!