my room is shit

I’m always watching scary youtube videos about cryptids and monsters and shit, and I’m just thinking that if I ever met these creatures face-to-face or had a paranormal experience I’d just chalk it up to my mental illnesses/disorders getting outta hand.
Like, oh a creepy demon sitting in my living room, chill, I’m seeing shit now

  • The dad, walking into the hearth room in the middle of the night to see me hunched over something on one of the armchairs: What are you doing up this late? You usually can't stay up this late.
  • Me, slowly closing the bag: I'm eating my sister's rice cakes because she never notices how many are left.
Crazy lady shooting gun outside my house

So I live near this crazy lady that owns a llama and watches tv with her chickens. A lot of foxes try to break into her chicken coop at night and eat them, so she owns a gun to kill off the foxes.

I’m used to hearing her gun, but usually it’s sound doesn’t scare the shit out of me and she’s normally pretty far away when she is doing this.

Well, about twenty minutes ago I was just sitting here minding my own business when my heart nearly fell out of my chest because of her. Idk how close she was, but this crazy old bitch decides to shoot her gun off sooo close to my house that my heart stopped beating for a second. I’m very scared because idk where she is and I don’t wanna go near any windows. She’s crazy. She broke a window in my living room before and all this other shit and I’m petrified right now

The idea that Mike wazowski wouldn’t scare kids bc he’s like not traditionally scary is such bs??? like if I woke up and there was a fucking green shortass with one gigantic eye in my room staring at me I’d lose my shit Like there r grown ppl who get nervous when they hear a sound in the night and these monsters think kids won’t be scared by funsize cyclops shrek creepin in their closet get outta here cmon

been feeling kind of touch starved lately,, have some snuggly boys

Mother of (No) Mercy

So it’s my second time DMing ever and my 8 year old cousin wanted to have a D&D themed birthday party. I’m familiar with 3.5 so I’m glad to do it. So him and his brothers, the oldest of which is 14, and his parents, both in their forties, all play.

I make up an original Island Adventure scenario that’s basically a fetch mission for a magical item they can trade the locals for a boat to go home in.

So they were deep into the jungle of the island and hadn’t fought anything too damaging. But then I set them up against a Giant Constrictor that started to give them a run for their money. They had it down to less than half health when the monk (the 8 year old’s character) was knocked unconscious.

Me: And the Snake manages to grab a tight hold of Gantea. Thora (the mother’s fighter) is up next.

Fighter OOC: Can I shout a battle cry before I hit it with my warhammer?

Me: Sure, that’s a free action to me.


*Nat 20*

Table cheers.

Me: Ok, roll to confirm the crit.

*Nat 20 True Critical*

Table goes ballistic.

Me, in disbelief: So with the maternal savagery of a mother bear defending her young, you hit this snake so hard not only is its head taken off, but its entire skeleton is knocked clean from the skin. Gantea is no longer being constricted.

Fighter to Monk OOC: Remember this next time I tell you to clean your room.


agent washington throughout the seasons
everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. 
it’s what unites us. the trick is not to let it destroy your 
trust in others when that happens. don’t let them take that from you.

So I’m cuddling my cat and all of a sudden I hear this loud ass meow come from my kitchen and it sounded exactly like him. Like don’t get me wrong, cats can sound alike but… my kitchen???? I only have one cat and there’s no way another cat can have access to get inside. On top of that, Tiger is an indoor cat so it’s not like he took another cat inside. So excuse me while I go hide myself in my room until someone else wakes up. Now that’s some @sixpenceee shit.