my random moments in life

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Harry:</b> *props elbows on table* *intertwines fingers and rests chin dreamily on top of hands* Well?<p/><b>Draco:</b> Well what?<p/><b>Harry:</b> Don't be shy! Go on. Ask me out.<p/><b>Draco:</b> Okay.<p/><b>Draco:</b> Get out.<p/><b>Harry:</b> <p/><b>Draco:</b> <p/><b>Harry:</b> Will that involve you holding my hand?<p/><b>Draco:</b> *walks away*<p/><b>Harry:</b> Okay so Saturday at Hogsmeade then?<p/></p><p/></p>
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saudade-song  asked:

Robin, it's time you take accountability. Every time I hear about a certain yellow fruit all I hear is "Bananas,bananas,bananas...." in the sassy voice from your Thimbleweed Park videos. Thanks for giving me random moments of humor throughout my daily life ;)

Hey that was a good show, alright! Hope they make a movie! ;D

I’m trying to forget you, but whenever I breathe, I remember your name. And it breaks my heart into pieces again. I have sought to run away from our memories, but whatever I do, it slowly pulls me back to the days when we were together. I have tried to set our world on fire, but it still keeps on being a paradise to my eyes. When I look at your eyes, I still could see the person I have loved and shared my life before. At some random moments, I’m still whispering your name unconsciously. There were times you cross on my mind and think what life could have been when we ended up together. Just to be clear, it still hurts even though years had passed. I’m not in love with you anymore, but I’m still searching for your voice. Maybe this is just one of those earthly events when you wake up one morning, and you became tired of pretending that you have already moved on. I have accepted my fate; maybe I’d be forever stuck and play our last conversation all over again.
—  E.J. Cenita

Heyyy, I don’t know if you guys would be interested but I would absolutely love it if anyone wanted to drop a follow on my personal Instagram page!

https://www.instagram.com/jonnyboymayer/

Often like to post my photography as well as random cool moments from my life and it would be great for them to be seen by more people.

Appreciate the support & I’ll try and follow back anyone who does :)

Finally watched Koe no Katachi (A Silent Voice)

I’d been a bit scared to watch it because I heard it got really emotional, and those are movies I tend to only watch once. I’d been dealing with random anxieties in my own life at the moment, but wanted to stay in and caved to the temptation of watching it. Below is a little review with spoilers, so if you don’t skip the rest of the post if you haven’t watched it!!

Trigger warning: this movie deals with serious issues such as suicide, anxiety, bullying, and death.

**disclaimer: this review is my opinion. Its ok to disagree with it, and to think i’m wrong, or what not. I ask that you take it as a grain of salt. 

************

I’ll start off by saying that the set up of the movie was not what I’d expected. It opened with the elementary years of our main character Ishida Shoya, and his experience meeting, and later bullying Nishimiya Shoko. Though the fictionalization of the story was pretty obvious (teachers not punishing Shoyo for disrupting the class, etc), the elements of bullying and victimization were reflective of potential real life experiences. 

I think the transitions between scenes were a bit difficult to follow as I was not sure whether something was dreamt by a character ( i.e, Ishida meeting Nishimiya again after so many years.) The movie was able to recover from these strange transitions with great dialogue though.

Besides its cinematic features, this film surprised me with how it portrayed teenage life and growing up. Not only does this film discuss rekindling friendship, making amends for past conflict, and growing up, but it also discusses serious topics such as suicide, anxiety, and guilt. Though the movie was frustrating to watch because of  how cruel Ueno was to Nishimiya, I think it provided a realistic relationship between two different people. 

What I really would like to discuss is the portrayal of anxiety and social anxiety throughout the film. It was not completely obvious at the beginning of the film, but Ishida suffers from social anxiety. Most likely, the anxiety developed as a result of his fall out with elementary school friends. Following the fall out, his past classmates ostracized him by spreading rumors about him, blaming him for Nishimiya’s transfer. Ishida’s coping mechanism was ignoring everyone, never looking up, and accepting his isolation. As the movie progresses, we see various characters make breakthroughs at befriending him starting with Nagatsuka. 

Like I’d said in the previous paragraph, Ishida’s social anxiety is not completely obvious. He he copes by treating everyone else as just a space holder. However, the bridge scene is the first clear moment where Ishida’s anxiety comes out. With his past being revealed, he crumples to the floor unable to stand. As everyone attempts to defend themselves or him, he speaks the first thing on his mind without thinking of the consequences. He succumbs to anxiety. All these moments were not completely obvious moments of social anxiety to me when i first watched the movie. I didn’t realize it until I watched the final scene.

In the last few scenes, we see Ishida practicing how he’ll introduce himself at school. This occurs multiple times throughout the film, and this is a habit those suffering from social anxiety often have. He arrives to school, and is suddenly overwhelmed by it all, the crowds, the sounds, the people. He crumbles again, telling Nishimiya how he cannot look people in the eye, and about the fear he has in being surrounded by all those people. Nishinmiya helps him get through this. She guides him to his class, but immediately falls into a frenzy, a panic attack. Nagatsuka goes to his side, helping him calm down. 

The final scene is where we see a breakthrough for Ishida. Having asked his friends to walk around the festival with him, he has a support system for dealing with his social anxiety. As he stands in the middle of the festival, surrounded by both his peers and family, he begins to see those around him as not just space holders and judgement, but as people.

eddie: *runs in, out of breath*

richie: *laughs at his appearance, also because he’s been getting a running commentary on Eddie’s hellish day via text*

eddie: don’t laugh at me

richie: i’m not, i- uh, remembered a joke i told earlier.

eddie: fuck you.

richie: *laughs*

eddie: oh my god, guys. I’m tired and sweaty and 20 minutes late for class. I don’t even have a notebook.

stan: *produces a shirt from nowhere* here, wear this.

eddie: how do you… you know what. nevermind, thank you. *changes*

stan: there, now you look less homeless.

richie: you never looked homeless. maybe a cute, dirty, dumpster diver. but one with a home.

eddie: ugh i can’t believe I forgot my notebook I’m gonna look like an idiot going in there empty handed.

mike: *rips out all the used pages of a half-filled notebook* here.

me: isn’t this your physics notebook?

mike: now it’s your notebook.

stan: don’t you have physics in like … 20 minutes

mike: why do you think i ripped this out? *holds up notes*

eddie: …y'all are too good to me.

richie: we know.

eddie: *throws empty water bottle at him* NOT YOU, YOU DID NOTHING.


the losers club as random moments from my life, 1 of ?

QRT # 2
  • Me & Friend: *walking by the beach*
  • Me: *sees a seagull*
  • Me: HI JUNGKOOK
  • Friend: Wha-
  • Me: How ya doin boi?
  • Friend: the f-
  • Me: HAIIIIIIII
  • Friend: THAT'S A SEA-
  • Me: DON'T YOU DARE
  • Me: THIS IS THE CLOSEST CHANCE I HAVE TO SEEING HIM IN REAL LIFE
  • Friend:
  • Me:
  • Friend:
  • Me:
  • Friend: ok
I’ve had my ‘Moment’

(random thoughts and life moments from me below, personal)

I think I’ve had my moment?? I mean, I haven’t been too concerned with not having a goal for my life, goals and ‘a true path’ always seemed like a lot of unnecessary pressure and commercialized my time and essence lol.

But I was sitting in the library?? Reading Hillary Clinton’s Democratic Presidential Nomination Acceptance Speech and concession speech for class and it absolutely broke my heart and made me want to go into the forest and scream until I couldn’t anymore.

like, I wanted so badly for the future and the present to be different

She was using phrases like:

“We will build a path to citizenship for millions of immigrants who are already contributing to our economy”

“We will not ban a religion”

“He [Trump] wants us to fear the future and fear each other”

“America would never be a nation where one person had all the power” (and power must be shared and negotiated)

And get this!

She says “I believe in science.” Who knew those would be important statements for a leader.

I don’t want to be political here, this was just so moving for me on a personal level bc HRC wasn’t perfect, but the new left’s emphasis on ideological purity or nothing was ruinous. We are all so in danger and so many people are frightened, she said ‘we are stronger together’ and I miss her so much. What could have been is so heartbreaking that it made me realize what I want to do.

I’ve decided to go work for campaigns and elections, I have a degree in history and political science as well as have interned for my congressmen, I’ve decided to help women specifically get elected bc our voices are so erased and underrepresented.

I’ve never had very good interpersonal skills, but I realized the future is so much more important than my social anxiety and I shouldn’t underestimate my own ability to work hard and develop those skills.

I dunno guys, I’ve just had my moment. And if there is hope maybe in two years the democrats will sweep the house and senate, elect a new speaker of house, impeach Trump and Pence (who has also now been connected to the Russia scandal) and the new democrat speaker of the house would rise to power (this is a very very long shot, but possible)

this nightmare can be over maybe if we work hard enough, and I think, I think I need to be one of those people.

so anyway, I think I’ve decided what to do with my future

bro. sometimes I feel like life isn’t real. like I’m gonna wake up in some random moment in time where my life forked from a decision I made and i’ll have a second chance. 

 Im so tired. I’m so tired of being depressed. 

One of my favourite moments in life was winning a random Star Trek trivia contest put on by Canada’s largest city’s equivalent of a state fair. It was last summer, for the 50th, and they ran it on Saturdays. Team “That Was Not Manual Override” won, and as I went up to collect the prize, I saw all these older men in their 40s-60s glaring daggers at me like they were sure it was some mistake. “Who’s a fake geek girl now,” I thought…

I don’t even believe in fandom gatekeeping in the slightest, but beating people who do at their own game? Warms my heart.

I feel like…When I said Laurent is my favourite character, I feel like I have not been clear enough. 

I didn’t mean my favourite character in the Captive Prince trilogy, I meant my favourite human in the whole universe of both fictional and non fictional characters. Ever.

You know… Being half-closeted is a weird sensation that can create some massive amounts of cognitive dissonance.

On one hand, with every single one of my friends, I’m “lesbeast,” “too gay for this,” lesbian plaid jokes, or some other form of extremely in-your-face level of flamboyance and yet I haven’t really even told my mom (who is crazy supportive).

And this is weird because both my parents know I like girls. I’ve had girlfriends before. They’re just not aware of my realization that it’s ONLY girls so I’m in this state of not wanting to go through the headache of explaining how that’s possible when I was married to a guy to my father, but also wanting to be 1701% true to myself and how I live my life every other moment of the day.

Random thoughts I have at midnight

(ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧