my raccoon

GOTGvol2 Lines That Went From 0-100

Drax: You remind me of my daughter.

Mantis: Ugly?

Drax: Innocent.

4

saw GotGVol2 & my mom pointed out that Rocket was sometimes a bit reminiscent of our dog, Marley. so naturally i had to take comparison photos (when marley was on his back getting belly rubs)

darklittlestories  asked:

Ooh. I'm feeling this one: Leave a “Join Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about one character giving another character an offer [be it a proposal for an alliance, asking them to join them in an activity. Feel free to go wherever, but I'd love Loki talking Thor into a devious, Machiavellian scheme. Thor knows the outcome is necessary/good but doesn't love the means to achieve it. Naughty Antihero Loki.. yum. *evil grin*

Well, this doesn’t follow the prompt exactly, but having recently seen Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, I was inspired to run with my idea from Abyss that Loki met several of the Guardians during the year between Thor and The Avengers (Rocket and Groot during his criminal career, and Gamora and Nebula while in Thanos’s clutches). This is what came out. Enjoy! (P.S. I didn’t know what Sam Wilson’s military rank was so I went with lieutenant because it’s lower than captain but still sounds cool.)


The official meeting between the Avengers and the Guardians had been called to a close, and now the members of both teams had dispersed around the room and were talking to each other in twos and threes. Gamora and Nebula—having greeted Loki already, the one joyously and the other grudgingly—seemed to be commiserating about something with the women of the Avengers, the Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch. Vision was chatting animatedly with Groot, and seemed to have no trouble at all understanding him. Barton and Quill appeared to have discovered that they had a great deal in common, which Loki was charmed and amused to see, though he still felt a pang of regret that he could never have a truly warm relationship with Barton. Captain Rogers was talking with—or more accurately being talked at—by Drax the Destroyer, and looking distinctly unhappy; he looked across the room to his friends Barnes and Wilson, clearly pleading for rescue, and they exchanged a few words and then laughed, just as clearly having no intention at all of coming to his aid.

Amid all this camaraderie, Rocket had crossed the table (quite literally; he walked across it) to Loki. “Hey, Lucan, or whatever your name really is,” he began.

‘Lucan’ was the name Loki had used when he was operating as a criminal in the Andromeda Galaxy and pretending, more or less, to be Xandarian. “It’s Loki,” he said.

“Eh, close enough,” Rocket replied. “I have a proposition.”

“Oh?” Whatever it was, this should be good.

“I wanna convince that guy that Groot really hates him and wants to fight him.” He jerked his head toward the Falcon.

Loki did not need to ask why he wanted to do that; he understood that Rocket simply thought it would be humorous, and he had to admit that he concurred.

“And what is my role in this charade?” Loki asked, amused.

“Well, since you and your brother have that Asgardian All-mouth thingy, I need you either on board or out of the room. And that purple guy, too.” He waved a paw at Vision. “And knowing you, I was pretty sure you’d get on board,” he added with an exaggerated wink.

Thor was standing just a few paces away, speaking with T’Challa, the grave-faced Wakandan king, whom he had not met before this gathering. Loki regarded his brother consideringly, debating whether to involve him in the scheme or simply find a pretext to dismiss him. He relished the idea of drawing Thor into some bit of mischief as he so often had when they were boys; and as much as he always had insisted to Loki, after they had been caught, that it was entirely Loki’s idea and therefore his fault that they were being punished, Loki recalled that he had never been all that reluctant to join him in the roguery.

“Thor, would you come here a moment?” Loki called, raising his voice just enough to be heard by those standing close by.

Thor excused himself politely, inclining his head to his fellow royal, and T’Challa inclined his head in turn and went to join Rogers; Loki was unsure whether he had noticed the captain’s predicament and hoped to assist him, or whether he was walking unawares into the ‘conversation’ with Drax.

“What is it, brother?” Thor asked, sounding somewhat apprehensive.

“Rocket here has an idea, but he needs our cooperation. He wishes to convince Lieutenant Wilson that Groot does not like him and wants to challenge him to a fight.”

Thor frowned and looked askance at Rocket. “Why do you wish to do that?”

“Because it would be hilarious!” Rocket said with the exasperation of one always being compelled to state the obvious. “No one has any idea what Groot is saying except me, you two, and Mr. Ex-Robot there. He would be so confused, and Groot will be insisting that he said nothing of the sort, and he’ll get madder and madder at me, but everyone will think it’s because he really hates the bird man. But I need one of you backing me up, because if it’s just me saying it, Quill and Gamora will smell a rat.”

“No pun intended, obviously,” Loki added sotto voce.

“Huh?” said Rocket.

“Never mind.” Loki turned to Thor. “It seems to me that this would work best if you support Rocket in his interpretation of Groot while I draw Vision away. The Avengers are even more suspicious of me than your companions are of you,” he explained to Rocket, “while they expect nothing but honesty from my shining paragon of a brother here.” He gave Thor the sweetest of smiles.

Thor still looked skeptical and somewhat disgruntled. “And why should I aid you in this utterly dishonorable enterprise?”

“A sense of fun? A collegial bonding exercise? The sheer Hel of it?” Loki suggested. Then, more quietly, almost sincerely, “Old times’ sake?”

As he regarded Loki with a strange hopeful sadness, Thor’s frown softened, then one side of his mouth twitched upward. “For old times’ sake,” he agreed.

STOP WITH WHAT YOU’RE DOING!!

AND LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF BOB ROSS HOLDING A BABY RACCOON

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