i remember you asking me to promise you to never take anyone to Cj Barrymores, it was the night we broke up. you made me promise that bc we had the best dates their. i’ve never had so much fun until we played laser tag and we kicked the other teams ass! i was so happy that day. i remember showing you countless songs that reminded me of you, or us. then i found out you showed her the same songs. now their songs that remind you of her but their still the songs that remind me of you. everything reminds me of you. i can barley drive in my own hometown because off all our memories. like when we walked from your old house to mine and we danced in the middle of the street. i fell hopelessly in love with you that day. or when we would get chilly cheese fries from dairy queen and go sit by the water and eat them, crack jokes, make out. i still to sit by the water, people think i go to clear my head. but in reality, i go because i can still feel you their. i loved when we’d go in your basement and you would play guitar for me. or remember when we were doing your laundry and decided to take a break to have a hot make out session? things got hot real fast. i miss the skype calls when you were at your grandmas house. i miss your sisters running up to me and hugging me when i would come over. i miss waking up next to your drooling face. i miss showering with you and washing your butt. i miss back kisses. no i miss specifically your back kisses, because your the only one who could kiss me anywhere and make me feel butterflies. no one will ever be able to do that for me again. i wonder if you ever think about these things. or i wonder if you open the door for her and think of when you use to do that for me. i wonder if you ever think of me. i doubt you do. i know you don’t. why would you? i’m nothing but a faded memory. a memory you’re doing everything possible to forget. i meant nothing to you. no i take that back. i meant everything to you. at least that’s what you said. that’s what hurts the most. you suffocated me until i believed every word you ever said. so now it’s permanently stained in my brain that you loved me more than anything and that your my soul mate. when in fucking reality, i was just someone to waste some time with. someone too fill your loneliness. i was nothing, but when i try to believe i was nothing to you i remember you telling me how we’re supposed to be together. how were “end game”. and i start to lose all the process of moving on from you. fuck you for literally ruining me. fuck you from preventing me from moving on. just fuck you. you have no care what so ever for hurting me. you metaphorically held a gun, aimed it at my heart, shot me multiple times and laughed behind my back every time i’d fall from your bullets. i can’t stand you, but i can at the same time. i fucking hate you, but i love you. i want nothing to do with you, but i miss you. you’ll never leave my heart, and that’s what hurts.
— i’ll always miss you