my potterhead feelings

It’s 4:27am.
I finished The Cursed Child and in the last quarter of hour I’ve been staring at the words THE END, ending in the midst of a rollercoaster of emotions.

I venerhate J.K. Rowling.

Originally posted by gif-database

I want to talk about Neville Longbottom

Everyone’s talking about the abuse Harry suffered as a child. Let’s talk about Neville.

- his parents, like Harry’s, were targeted by Voldy and the gang. Only they weren’t killed, they were driven insane. (More on that later)
- baby Neville was sent to live with his grandmother, who appears to be some sort of matriarch of the family, and is surrounded by a family of proud pure bloods, who while not being death eaters, would probably look down on mixed couples
- and this tiny kid who had suffered the loss of the parenting figures in his life is expected to be magical
- not just any magical, his grandmother and family seem to channel their grief about Frank and Alice to hope for Neville to grow up and kick ass as much as a fully grown auror
- Neville goes to visit Frank and Alice and he doesn’t remember them. He had seen photos of them as kids, in Hogwarts, together, in the war, with him… all he sees in front of him is two hollow people- shaped beings which gave up nearly everything for him, and he doesn’t have a single memory of the people who brought him into this world being his parents.
- meanwhile, the family’s expectations grow… And Neville is starting to suspect he might be a squib and he is terrified of the thought, he had always wanted to go to Hogwarts, and what do they even do with squibs?
- but the worst part is watching the love in his grandmother’s eyes become more obscured, each and every day, by impatience and disappointment, at his apparently missing magic
- and everyone in the family is getting impatient too, and they try to squeeze the magic out of him, becoming more and more desperate. At first he doesn’t know, then he is too horrified to think such a thing about the people closest to him, but one day, after a particularly nasty incident involving a big dog and a locked room (his room didn’t even have a lock and the dog vanished mysteriously after his aunt charmed the door open and asked him why didn’t he do anything about it) he realised what’s going on
- until the day his uncle actually grabs him by the ankle and dangles him out of a third story window, and a very little part of him knows nothing bad will happen but all the rest is pretty damn terrified and screaming for help
- he doesn’t even get his own wand, and he knows it’s not because lack of funds because all the other stuff he gets for Hogwarts is brand new and top of the line. It’s his father’s wand, and his grandmother doesn’t miss a chance to tell him what a great wizard his father was and what an even greater wizard Neville should be
- the spells never seem to come out right, though, and deep inside Neville knows he can do it, but the kids in other houses laugh at his spellwork and eventually he becomes a joke even among the Gryffindor kids (except Hermione)
- so when he comes home, he always exaggerates a bit and tells them he’s okay, there is no competing with Hermione, obviously, but he’s doing pretty average (he probably doesn’t talk much about herbology because it requires a different kind of magic, which is quite beyond what anyone in his family considers as magical)
- and the first time *the first time* Neville gets any appraisal from his grandmother is after the battle in the DoM, and even then he is overshadowed by Harry
- so overshadowed that his grandmother actually says she would have been proud to have Harry as a grandson, and Neville automatically assumed she prefers Harry over him

I’m sorry I can’t
This boy is just too precious and had been through so much and he just keeps on fighting
I just want to cuddle him and give him candy