my poor heart can take it anymore

9

Happy birthday to VIXX’s youngest (and arguably evilest) member! Thank you for bringing an additional avenue of laughter to the group with your antics (although it wouldn’t hurt to rein them in just a little)! Even though you’re much younger, your perseverance and willingness to learn are admirable, and just charting your growth throughout these years is incredibly encouraging. Knowing how much you’ve to sacrifice, but still being willing to take the leap to achieve your dreams has imbued me with the confidence to try and pursue my own too. Thank you for being born! #HappyHyukDay

Drown
Tyler Joseph
Drown

Here I come, come to you in the very clothes
That I killed, killed you in and now I know I’m alone
I walk to you, rain falls from you
Can you wash me, can you drown me

I wanna be a lot of things, so much pent up inside of me
I wanna be stronger; too long I’ve sat here undecidedly
Planning strategy, half of me knows it’s all just a fallacy
Failing miserably, drastically and then I crash dramatically
Into a wall, I’ve hit a hundred times before
And yet I still ignore the dark red blood stains on the floor
And I’m back in front of you Lord, with blood on the floor
Is the blood mine or yours don’t wanna do this anymore

Back and forth between being me and who you call me to be
You see a man free who thinks he has to buy a key
To a door but he can’t ‘cause he’s poor and he can’t
Fall down anymore 'cause he’s already on the floor
And his heart is broken and all and this is his scar
But it’s warm from crying 'cause he will try nine times
To realize nine crimes but he has more than nine lives
So he picks himself up and keeps climbing for the prize again

Here I come again to you 
Just to show the blood soaked through
Through my bones and all I own
Is there a way for me to grow
I walk to you, rain falls from you
Can you wash me, can you drown me, please

Every time I feel selfish ambition is taking my vision
My crime is my sentence, repentance is taking commission
It’s taking a toll on my soul, I’m screaming submission and
I don’t know if I am dying or living
'Cause I will save a face for name’s sake
Abuse grace take a aim to obtain a new name in a newer place
But my name is lame, I can’t walk and I ain’t the same
And my name became a new destiny to the grave and
They say the ocean’s blue but it’s black right now
In the dark, on the sand, looking out at my crowd
Depression and drowning singing now the full parts
Of lightning reveals where the ocean stops and the sky starts
I’ve been told by the sky that the ocean I shall win
But it’s hard for me to see where ocean stops, where sky begins
And random chunks of light remind me of what is true
But right now the ocean is blacker than black, the sky is too

[credit for album cover]

HE’S HERE!!!! AND HE’S WONDERFUL!!! HAVE YOU HEARD HIS AMAZING VOICE?!

SORRY FOR THE CAPSLOCK BUT I’M INTERNALLY SCREAMING RN. AND NEXT WEEK EVEN MORE SOUKOKU!!

MASTERPIECE INDEED! ISN’T HE BEAUTIFUL??

AND THEIR BICKERING WAS ADORABLE ~

HE SAID AIBOOOO. okay stopping with the capslock for now xD

Chuuya sounds like a spurned ex lover xD but he looks badass enough anyway

Yepp ex lover. And he’s sooo angry and small ^_^

You can crush me anytime~ ähh sorry, not sorry

Anyway this was week one and my poor heart can’t take it anymore. Even if Chuuya was only there for a few minutes and no one will understand our hype. If they ever make chapter 31 into an anime episode you can prbly bury me xD

Couldn’t imagine that i’ll ever be even more in love with this man and this pair!

OK what the hell?

What the hell seriously?Someone gave Jared razorblades during the auto and that’s why he left and started crying. When Jensen came to comfort him, he said ’ I cant do this anymore.’. Oh Lord, seriously? Well thank fuck Creation for the new policy.Now we know even more clearly just why this is so needed. I get it, I am happy that the person has been a fighter and is doing ok.But please? Have people forgotten that Jared fights depression himself and had a major breakdown not that long ago and even then he only stopped after Jensen put his foot down and asked him to go home. That guy will never say no, will never stop giving. Jensen was right – Jared has a big heart and gives too much of himself and doesn’t know when to stop and save something for himself.You can keep asking for more and he will keep giving even if he is suffering. I bet Jensen was done after this incident and put his foot down again. Do you realize how hard and frustrating it must be for him to see Jared take on so many people’s emotions and comfort them and in doing so driving himself to the point where he needs to comforted because he ‘can’t take it anymore?’.

so, putting things bluntly (because there is no other way for me to do it): i need $600 before december 12 or else i get kicked out of my place. i’m attending school away from home, and i have nowhere else to go.

my parents, bless them both, have helped in every way that they can. my mother has had to divide her last two paychecks between my sister and myself, leaving only my dad’s paychecks to help them buy groceries and pay their bills. they need every last cent they earn to get themselves out of their current poor financial situation. my dad’s hours were cut back dramatically over the summer, leaving our house in a near-constant state of debt; fortunately, his hours were recently brought back to normal. however, the stress of everything has led to my father having to take anti-anxiety medication, and he still suffers from anxiety attacks almost every week. neither my heart nor my head can bear the thought of asking them to give me anymore. 

i’ve looked into what i know to be every possible option, and this one has always been the last on my list. but if you could donate whatever little bit you can to my paypal ( paypal.me/DeniseRobert ), i would be so so very grateful. and if you could reblog this, that would be even more wonderful.

thank you.