my pizza is ruined

anonymous asked:

How much garlic is too much garlic?

when i was a kid my father used to take me driving and hiking up around in the mountains and one time we stopped in a very small town with a restaurant inside of a train and he got me a slice of pizza. on the table we were sitting at there were various shakers for red pepper, parmesan, etc– and i’m like, woah, this is free? i can just, use as much parmesan cheese as i want??? and i loved me some parmesan. so naturally i covered my entire slice of pizza with it, tip to crust, in a solid layer of delicious cheese dust a quarter inch thick. i was hype.

then i took a bite, 

and i discovered in about 0.3 seconds that that shaker did not actually have parmesan cheese in it; it was garlic salt.
and i had buried my pizza in it. 
it tasted like the sweat of satan’s armpit.
i recoiled.
i cried.
not only had i ruined my one golden delicious slice of pizza, but i knew then that free parmesan cheese was just a damn human construct. 
that was the day i first tasted true betrayal.

and that– was too much garlic. 

I was super bummed out about Pizza Steve ruining my original Mr. Gusite picture… but Uncle Grandpa felt bad and… I dunno how… he called in a favor and got the CREATOR of Steven Universe, REBECCA SUGAR, TO DRAW MY GEMSONA! I guess Uncle Grandpa’s got connections at Cartoon Network!

Thus ends my gemsona experience! Thanks for reading everyone!

my mom outed me to my dad about being trans without my permission and still doesn’t understand why i was so pissed and hurt and betrayed and refuses to apologize and thinks im in the wrong for being angry and we just had another big fight about that and i just ://////// and also sobbed and yelled a lot so like im just gonna go scroll through my comfort character tags and ruin my diet by eating pizza and ice cream

Buck’s Girls.

A/N Okay so this is based on an idea from THIS POST, but it doesn’t go exactly as the  post does, so hopefully it doesn’t suck.

Warnings: well no… unless you consider the natural process of menstruation as something that needs a warning. All fluff!

word count: 2,284

“Has anyone seen Y/N? She didn’t come down to the gym at all this afternoon.” Steve looked around the room at his teammates, all of them there at the same time for once. The guys just shrugged but Steve could read Wanda pretty well. “Maybe I’ll just go check on her in her room.”
“That’s probably not a good idea, Steve.” Wanda peeked her gaze up over the book in her hands. “She isn’t particularly…. hormonally stable.”
“Oh, come on!” Stark shouted. “Do we really have to get detailed?”
“I can give much more detail for you, Stark.” Her eyes flashed red and Tony was quickly scurrying off to his lab, Bruce following quickly behind. “Men,” she scoffed.

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You cant say you hate me n then claim u have feelings for me or that you care????? I can say what i want about u???? I joke cuz u caused me trauma??? Quit being a little princess and buck up???
Also i wouldnt eat pizza with you. It would ruined my fave food n id rather drink my period blood than shake ur veiny hand. Also you dont have the privelidge to call me by my nickname. Ever..

Domestic fluffy Seb drabble for my lovely friend @sarcastiel-assbutt​. <3 I’m sorry I took so long! LOVE YOU. 

Sebastian frowned as soon as he entered the apartment, dropping his keys in the small bowl on a table nearby before stepping into the living room with careful steps. 

The entire place was dark, save for the dim light from the TV.

His apprehension soon faded as he noticed you curled up on the couch, literally buried under the sheets with just your face out of the fabric and a few strands of hair around your frame. 

He was pretty sure you’d noticed him stepping into the room and it was definitely strange that you didn’t greet him with the most warm smile and welcome he’d get in that day. 

Toeing his shoes off, Sebastian walked around the coffee table and sat on the edge of the couch, raising a hand to pull down the blankets for a little bit. 

“Hey.” He finally greeted, a weak concerned smile curving his lips when you just looked up at him, barely acknowledging his presence. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” You replied almost instantly, making Sebastian glare at you with a suspicious look and you roll your eyes at him. “Just a very very shitty day.”

He let out a small hum of understanding and started pulling your blankets off, giving you a playful dirty look when you whined at him. 

Mentioning for you to scoot over, Sebastian quickly took your place on the couch and pulled you to sit between his legs, his arms tightly closing around you as soon your back hit his chest. 

“What happened?” He asked softly against your ear, shivers spreading down your spine as he pulled your hair to the side and you fully laid your head against his shoulder. 

“I couldn’t concentrate on my tasks so I got pretty much all my work wrong.” You explained with a shrug, huffing out an ironic chuckle as you let your body relax completely, finally able to talk about your day with someone. “I got yelled at and developed a huge headache on the way.”

Sebastian tightened his arms around you assuringly and pressed a small kiss behind your ear, his stubble scratching your skin comfortably. 

“Did you take anything?” He mumbled lazily and squinted his eyes in suspicion when you nodded, one of his hands going up to cup your chin and turn your face to him. “You’re lying.

“Am not!” You protested with a pout, elbowing his side as he playfully cried out and you laughed quietly. “Go check yourself." 

He just shook his head in denial again, still glaring at you suspiciously as the corners of his eyes turned into small crinkles. 

"You know what happens with the liars.” He playfully hummed the phrase, biting his lower lip as he glance at you expectantly and you rolled your eyes. “You know. Say it.”

You crossed your arms around your chest, pouting even more as you turned your head to the side almost childly. 


“Come on, (Y/N), say it!” Seb urged on with an amused smile, his fingers coming down to tickle your stomach as you squirmed into his hold with a quiet laugh. 

“I don’t know what happens to them.”

“I’ll happen to you too because you’re lying.” He pointed out with a huff, letting out an exaggerated gasp rightly after as he looked at your face with feigned shock. “Oh my God, it’s happening!”

You turned around on his hold and punched his chest, his loud whine echoing through the room and making you chuckle tenderly before kneeling between his legs. 

As the silence fell between the both of you again, Sebastian just kept looking at you expectantly, trying and miserably failing to hold back a smirk as you sighed exasperated. 

“Their noses grow.” You mumble petulantly, dipping your head down and letting your hair fall into your face. 

“I didn’t hear you.” He smirked smugly at you, bringing his hand up and tucking your hair behind your ears as your cheeks burned red. “What happens?”

Their noses grow!” You replied in an outburst, a loud laugh escaping from his lips as you threw your body against his, hiding your face on his neck. “Oh my God, I hate you so much.”

Sebastian wrapped his arms around you again and pressed a kiss to your hair, snorting in amusement as you let out a small whine.  

Alright, I’ll believe you now.” He gave in with another exaggerated huff, his lips soon turning into a tender smile as he squeezed you tighter. “How about we order some really greasy pizza and ruin all my diet with ice-cream?”

You couldn’t help but hum happily against his skin. 

“Ruining your diet sounds perfect.”