my personal favourite is the awkward smile

Barnes’ Books - chapter 7

I may have got a little carried away this evening. 4000 word chapter carried away.  Sorry. No update tomorrow as I’m out!

See the Masterlist for previous chapters!

For the next week, I rejoin the real world. I get up, put on work clothes, sit at a computer, answer phones, drink communal tea, eat a sandwich, type, go home.  I talk to new people, go to a new place, earn some money. It’s good for me.

I hate it.

I know I sound like a brat, but I’ve loved being able to spend the day at the bookshop, before James’ accident. I loved the happiness books can bring, I loved talking to people, making coffee and washing up, helping unpack boxes, chatting to James. I’m trying to make the most of this week, it’s good CV-fodder, I do meet some nice people but it’s not me. And every day, while I’m inputting data, although I’m working hard, my mind is wandering. I’m thinking about the day I found the book for that woman, I’m thinking about curling up with Steve in an armchair. I’m thinking about making James laugh. I’m thinking about how sad Bucky looked.

Keep reading

One Last Time (VIII)

Characters: Hoseok (Jhope) & Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff & smut

Series: Intro, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9 (Finale)  

Summary: Hoseok is a member of a very successful boy group, BTS, while you are a trainee, who is getting ready for debut. The two of you have been dating for two years, but he suddenly left you without another word. No explanation. No apology. Nothing. You were left to suffer and find the answers yourself. If only you knew how painful the truth was going to be, you wouldn’t have been so determined to find out. But one thing that hurt more than the truth, was what the past could bring.

Hi again 😊 I’m back with another chapter for the One Last Time series. Although I had planned to post this last night, I didn’t quite finish… so here it is now. :) I hope you guys liked it? I always love to hear what you guys think ❤️ I will try my best to get the next chapter out as soon as  I can. Just a heads up, the next chapter will be the finale 🎉 Until next time, remember to like, reblog and share. Happy Reading~

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

“You’re going where?” Seoyoung and Vanessa both asked in sync.

Taken back by how shocked they were, you stared with wide eyes and said,

“I said I’m going out on a date…”

As you walked towards the closet to look for something appropriate to wear on a first date, Seoyoung ran up to your side and turned you to look at her.

“Y/N.. Let me get this clear.. you’re going on a date with Hoseok… Jung Hoseok?” She asked


“Is that a question or an answer?” She asked.

“I mean.. he and I aren’t really calling it a date. He just asked to hang out and I said okay.” You shrugged.

“Unni. Hang out? Even I know he can’t possibly mean that the of you are just hanging out. It’s a date. It has to be a date.” Vanessa said as she too joined you and Seoyoung by your closet.

Feeling suffocated being around the two of them, you walked away from them and said,

“It’s not big deal really.”

“No big deal? You like the guy and you’re telling me that it’s no big deal? He invited you to attend his concert, which was last night, and you’re still telling me that it’s no big deal? Do I have to remind you that the two of you hung out, alone, after the concert and you didn’t get back home until like 4 in the morning? Are you really telling me that its’ no big deal?” Seoyoung asked.

Deep down you knew that you were nervous and hesitant about the meeting because you didn’t want to get your hopes up for nothing. Besides, you were nothing but a trainee, while he was an idol, how were things ever suppose to work out for the two of you?

“Y/N?” Seoyoung called as you were still deep in thought.

“Unni?” Vanessa also called as she nudged you.

“What? Yeah?” You finally answered.

“What’s wrong?” Seoyoung asked.  

“Nothing is wrong.” You lied as you sat on your bed.

Joining you, Seoyoung said,

“Don’t lie to me what’s wrong? You were just fine a minute ago, why do you look so down all of a sudden?”

After minutes of struggling with your own thoughts, you spoke up and said,

“What if… What if I’m the one who’s thinking too much? What if he really is just treating this hang out as.. two people getting to know each other, while I’m here struggling to remind myself that we’re never going to happen?” You sighed.

As Vanessa curled by your side as a sign of comfort, Seoyoung said,

“Y/N… I don’t know about anyone else, but for a guy to invite you to his concert and meet up with him backstage after the concert and ask you to hang out the following day, I don’t have a single ounce of doubt when I say that he likes you.”

“Unni. You’re just saying that.” You pouted.

“Y/N. You stupid girl. Are you kidding me? Would you want to hang out with someone that you don’t like?” She asked.

“No…” You quietly said.

“He obviously has some sort of feelings for you. Don’t think so lowly of yourself.” Seoyoung sighed.

“I’ll try.”

“Now come on. You have a date to go to, and Vanessa and I are going to doll you up so nice that he’s going to wish he would have asked you out long long time ago.” Seoyoung cheered.

And so they did for hours. Four hours to be exact. From what seemed like an endless change of clothing, to endless hairstyles and makeup attempts, you were already tired out before Hoseok’s manager could even pick you up from the dorm.

Leaning back to get a better look at you, Vanessa said,

“Unni. If oppa doesn’t want you, he really needs to get some glasses, because you’re beautiful.”

Blushing from her compliment, you reached for your phone after hearing an incoming call.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Hey. I… uh.. I’m here.” Hoseok nervously said.

“Oh. Um. Uh. Okay. I’m coming down now.” You shyly smiled into the receiver.

“Ohhh! He’s here!” The two cheered with almost as much excitement as you were feeling within.

Just as you were out the door, Seoyoung said,

“Break a leg Y/N. If he doesn’t want you, there are plenty more guys in the world.”

“And what if he’s the one I want?”  You chuckled already feeling a little calmer.

“Well… then… that’s why I said break a leg.” She winked before closing the door.

As soon as you saw a familiar van, you shyly greeted the manager, as he opened the door for you.

Just as you were about to hop in, the manager whispered,

“He’s been pretty jittery all day because of you.”

Giving him a surprised look, you quietly confessed,

“Me too.”

After giving you a wide smile, for the first time today, you turned to see Hosoek stare at you in complete awe, and you could have sworn that you looked at him the same way, if not even more taken back. Although you noticed that unlike you, he wasn’t wearing any makeup, he was, to you, the most beautiful person on this planet.  

Not knowing how long you were actually left just staring into his eyes, you eventually hopped into the van and sat in the vacant seat right beside Hoseok.

“Hi.” You shyly greeted.

“Hi.” He brightly smiled.

As the car started to move, he turned his whole body towards you and said,

“I thought that maybe we could start the night by going to one of my favourite cafes in Seoul. I mean.. that is if it’s okay with you.” He nervously laughed.

“Yeah. Of course. I’d love to.” You happily nodded.

To say that the ride to the cafe was awkward would have been an understatement, something about that day seemed different. You’ve been alone with Hoseok before, and he has never acted so nervous. It also wasn’t like he hasn’t been alone with you before. Something was different, and you were nervous as to just what he was thinking about.

Trying to take your mind off of your worried thoughts, you looked outside of the window and admired the beautiful night view of Seoul.

As soon as the van came to a stop, you were thankful that Hoseok had asked to meet up at night, because by now, there weren’t a lot of people around, meaning that the chances of someone recognizing Hoseok was very slim. You hopped out and instantly shivered at the sudden cold breeze brushing against your skin, but that was only momentarily, because before you knew it, you felt a pair of warm arms wrap around your shoulders warming your shivering body.

“You should have worn a jacket.” He sighed.

“I. uh. Forgot.” You awkwardly laughed.

You weren’t lying. You actually were planning on bringing a jacket, but Vanessa and Seoyoung had insisted that you shouldn’t, so Hoseok could either offer you his jacket or just kept you by his side.

“Well then I guess we better hurry in.” He said as he silently admired how you seemed to fit perfectly right under his arms.

Once the two of you were inside the cafe, Hoseok happily greeted the store owner who seemed shocked to witness his firm grip around you.

“What?” He asked the moment he felt you attempt you push yourself away.

“I. Uh. There’s people watching.” You shyly said.

“Who cares? Let them stare.” He smirked.

“What?” You gasped.

Thankfully, there were only a handful of customers in the cafe, because if there were anymore, you were certain that someone would have eventually noticed him.

“What can I get the two of you today?” The storeowner happily asked, making sure to emphasize on the word ‘two’.

“I’ll have one americano, and what do you want Y/N?” He asked.

“One hot chocolate please.” You smiled.

Although you had insisted to pay, Hoseok quickly declined it, saying that today was his treat.

“The next date will be on you.” He winked.

“Next… date?” You stuttered.

Does that mean that today is also a date?

“Yeah. Next date. Deal?” He asked.

“Uh. Yeah okay.” You answered.

Once both of your drinks came, he led you to the second floor of the cafe where he sat the two of you down at a table near the windows.

Having caught up with how each other’s day went, Hoseok went along and asked about whether you’re still in school.

“I actually graduated from high school recently.”  You smiled.

“And now you work?”

“Not exactly.” You said.

“Not exactly?” He curiously asked.

“I uh… I’ve been a trainee for a while under this one entertainment company.” You nervously said.

Completely shocked by what you said, it took him seconds before Hoseok finally spoke up and said,

“Wait. Wait. You’re a trainee right now?”

“Yeah. I mean at least as of right now I am.” You said.

“So you want to be an idol?” He asked.

“Well… Yeah. That’s my plan I guess.” You shrugged.

“It’s hard isn’t it?” He softly smiled.

You were taken back by his question, because no one in the couple of years that you’ve started training had asked you about how you felt. Even you’re parents only ever asked if you were eating well, and even then you had lied to them and said that you were eating just fine.

“I… I guess.” You quietly said.

Having just debuted not too long ago, Hoseok knew firsthand just how hard it must be as a trainee.

“I remember how many times I cried and had second thoughts of becoming an idol because of how hard it was.” He weakly smiled.

This was a side of Hoseok that you had never even imagined getting to know, so you were in complete shock when he openly told you about his past.

“I… Yeah. I get it. I still have those days when I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing.” You said.

“But are you happy doing what you’re doing right now, right?” He asked.

“Yeah. I am.” You smiled.

“Then that’s all that matters.” He said.

Maybe it was because the more the two of you talked, the more you found you had common, because it wasn’t until the store owner announced that she was closing the store for the night, that the two of you finally realized that you had been in the cafe for hours.

“Wow. I never thought that we would be here for so long.” He said in great astonishment.

“I didn’t either.”

“I had a lot of plans for tonight, I can’t believe that I had forgotten about them.” He sighed.

“I had a lot of fun though.” You comfortingly said.

“You did?” He asked.

“Of course I did. You.. did.. too right?” You asked.

“Yes. Of course I did.” He said as he once again gave a smile that took your breathe away.

Just as you were about to thank him for the night, he asked,

“Y/N? Are you… in a rush to get home… right now?”

“No. Not really.” You answered.

“Great. Because I wanted you to come by our dorm and maybe meet our members?” He suggested.

“Oh. O-of course. Sure.” You said instantly starting to become nervous at the thought of meeting all the members at once.

As if meeting Hoseok himself wasn’t already a dream come true. he was going to bring you to his dorm and introduce you to the members.. formally.

Sensing your sudden change in mood, he said,

“It’s okay. There’s no need to be nervous. They’re all dying to see you.”

“Dying to see me? Why?” You asked.

“Because. They’re curious as to how the girl I’m constantly thinking about is really like.” He confessed before quickly heading downstairs leaving you in complete shock.

He’s… been.. thinking about me?

When you finally found the strength to walk down the stairs, you quickly greeted the store owner  who was quietly talking to Hoseok.

“Hi.” You awkwardly greeted the two.

“Y/N. It was so nice to meet you today.” The owner gushed.

“It was nice to meet you too.” You smiled.

Leaning in a little too close, you froze as she quietly said,

“I’ve never seen him so happy and I’ve known him for years. I’m glad that he’s met you.”

Not knowing what to say, you gave her a shy smile and looked up to see Hoseok give the two of you a questionable look.

“We should go now noona. We’ve bothered you more than enough tonight.” He apologized as he reached for your hand.

Happily staring at him, you reciprocated by giving his hand a warm grip which he widely smiled at.

“Oh. It was nothing. Do come visit often though.” She smiled before finally excusing herself saying that she needed to tidy up.

As the two of you waited for his manager to arrive, you continued to admire how well your hands fit in his, and how even with just a simple gesture like holding hands, you felt yourself fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

Once the van has arrived, the two of you suddenly fell into complete silence. Suddenly feeling awkward all over again, you tried to carried out a conversation with him, but it was no use, no matter what you brought up, his one word answers instantly shut you down.

Anxiety got to the best of you, and before you could stop yourself, you turned towards Hoseok who was looking out the window and asked,

“Is there… something wrong? You suddenly got really… quiet.”

Without even bothering to turn to look at you, he mumbled that he was fine.

Not feeling even the slightest convinced, you started off poking his arm until eventually he turned around, and for the first time in the night, he has a slight uncertainty written over his face.

“What’s wrong?” You worriedly asked.

After minutes of internally struggling with himself, he finally gave in and said,

“I.. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. I like you Y/N. I really really do, and believe me when I say that, but.. I’m not sure if this is right.”


You stared at him dumbfounded. You felt as if your whole world suddenly came crashing down. One minute he was one of the sweetest most loving man on earth, and then next minute he was isolating himself from you thinking if asking you out on a date was the right thing to do.

After many attempts to find the right words to say, you settled with,

“I…I mean… I can leave… and go home right now.. ”

Struggling just as much as you were, he quickly said,

“No. No! Y/N it’s just.. I never thought that I would like you this quickly, and I’m scared. I don’t want you to leave me like Jessica did for someone else. I really want this to work, but I just.. I can’t handle you leaving me too. I’m sorry. I really should have thought this through before I asked you out today.”

Jessica? Who’s Jessica?

Is he telling me that he regrets asking me out on a date?

Is this… it? Is it time to call it a night….?

Trying hard to swallow the lump in your throat, you said,

“I.. um. You know what? I can go home right now. It’s fine. Clearly things aren’t really working well right now.”

Just as you were about to ask his manager to drop you back off at your dorm, Hoseok practically turned your whole body to look straight into his eyes, which were now filled with what seemed like fear, as he said,

“No. Y/N. I don’t want you to leave. I just..  I’m so sorry. I thought I was going to be okay and move on, but there are certain things that I never knew needed so much time for healing. I want to be with you. God. You don’t know how much I want to be with you, but I just realized.. that I can’t give you everything that you want in a relationship right now. I can’t be a boyfriend who will always be there for you. I can’t be a boyfriend who can give you a hundred precent of my heart, at least for now I can’t. And I didn’t realize until now that… I really don’t deserve someone like you.”

Swallowing the sudden urge to cry, you found yourself completely taken back by how honest and sincere he was. Clearly the Hoseok that you were so used to seeing on television, who basically had confidence oozing out of him, was actually just as insecure as you were, and you couldn’t have been happier to see this side of him.

“Hoseok. I don’t need you to always be there for me. I don’t need you to give me every part of your heart right now. I don’t need all the extra things that come with being with you. Isn’t just you liking me and me liking you enough? Feelings take time, and I don’t expect you to suddenly love me just days after we met.”

Looking at you while his eyes were filled with admiration, he whispered,

“How did I get so lucky?”

Never would he have thought that he would meet someone who was so understanding and patient as you were, because exactly like what you had said on your first date, you waited. You waited months for him until he was finally ready to open up to you, in which you gladly accepted and helped him mend his previously broken heart.

When Hoseok had first told you about Jessica, you were angry, furious even, that someone could be so cold and leave him in such a heartless way. You didn’t blame him, not even once, for feeling so scarred because of Jessica, which was one of the reasons why he loved you so much. Where else was he ever going to find a girl who was willing to wait for him like you?

You were the sun to his rainy days.

You were his rainbow after a rainstorm.

You were his heaven to his hell.

You were his… happiness.

His… everything.

There is was. There was the memory that your brain had long attempted to forget.

The memory of you and Hoseok that he had tried to hard to not bring up.

Quickly someone find something to put in her mouth so she doesn’t bite her tongue!


Y/N? Y/N? Please Please Please be okay!

Wait.. what’s happening? Why do I need to be okay?

Is the defibrillator ready?

Defi… bri.. what?

Stand clear everyone we’re charging!

Wait. What’s happening? What are we charging?

Charging 200 joules.

Everyone stand clear!

Wait? What?

Nothing is happening… why is nothing happening?

Charing 360 joules.

Everyone stand clear!

Please Y/N. Please.. be okay.

Y/N? Are you okay?

She’s waking up!

One blink. You winced at how much your eyes burned at the brightness of the ceiling lights.

Another blink. You suddenly felt so drained out, and you weren’t sure as to what had exactly happened. One minute you thought you were dreaming about Hoseok, and then the next minute, your vision went fuzzy, and you were finding it hard to concentrate.

“Y/N?” You heard someone say.

As hard as you tried, you couldn’t quite find the strength in your body to move towards the sound of the voice.

“Y/N? I’m your doctor dear. If you hear me blink once.”

You blinked.

“Oh thank goodness.” You heard someone, who sounded like your mom say from within the room.

“Okay. She’s back. We’re going to have to do some tests and try to find out what exactly happened, but my biggest guess as of now would be that due to the major head injury that she had sustained weeks ago could have suddenly caused a seizure, and although it may be rare, could have led to a cardiac arrest. ” The doctor sighed.

Once the doctor dismissed herself, you watched as your parents, managers and members all gathered around you.

“How are you feeling?” Your mom asked as she wiped a stray tear off her cheek.

“I’ve been better.” You weakly said.

You felt tired. So tired that you were sure within seconds that you would be able to fall asleep.

“Do.. do you remember who I am?” Elizabeth asked.

Although your reaction was not up to par, it took a few seconds before you turned to her and gave her a disappointed look and said,

“Of course. How could I forget you?”

“No. But… do you remember.. us? We’re in a group with Seoyoung unni and we just recently debuted?”

“Yes. I remember.” You mumbled.

“You remember?” Seoyoung shockingly asked.

Giving her a nod, you watched as everyone’s face lightened up.

Your two managers excused themselves saying that they had to make some calls to the company, leaving you with your parents and members.

It must have been that your exhaustion was pretty evident, because they quickly urged you to take a nap.

“We’ll talk after you’ve taken a nice rest.” You dad said.

Not even having the energy to fight, you quickly drifted off to a much needed restful sleep.

It took days before the doctors finally came to a conclusion as to what had exactly happened that day. A seizure is what they called it, which most likely occurred due to your head injuries. Although it was highly rare, the doctors ironically called you one of the ‘special’ ones, who experienced a cardiac arrest due to the seizure and had survived. You were what they called, the hospital’s miracle.

Fearing for a reoccurrence of a seizure, the doctors made sure to have someone come by every hour. You didn’t feel even the slightest bit of annoyance from how worried everyone was, because it even scared you to think that you could have been seconds away from breathing your last breath of fresh air.

Although many would have thought differently, you treated this incident as a blessing because it allowed you to realize how important life was, and how you needed to live your life without dreading about the past, and just move on. Or at least try to. Which meant, it was finally time to say goodbye to Hoseok.

Although Hoseok had not visited, the members made sure to visit you everyday even if you insisted not to.

“Trust me. We’re here because we want to.” Namjoon said one day.

On that day Namjoon came to visit by himself. Before taking a seat beside the bed, he placed the beautiful bouquet of flowers on to the side of the bed, that was now crowded from gifts given by not only your members and family members, but also from your loving fans.

“I know how busy you guys are. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking so much of your time.” You sighed.

“We all care about you Y/N. I’m pretty sure all the members will agree with me in saying that no matter how busy and tired we are, we’ll find time to come visit you.” He said.

You froze at the mention of all his member, causing your mind to instantly drift to Hoseok. Although you hadn’t said anything, you were furious. Angry. So angry that you felt your blood boil every time you thought about him. You were angry that he had lied to you. You were angry that he had hurt you again. You are angry that he left without a single word. But most importantly,  you were angry…at yourself for falling for him again.

“Can you do me a favour?” You suddenly asked.


“Can you make sure that Hoseok never comes to visit? I don’t think I can deal with any of this anymore.”

“Y/N….I…” He stuttered, not knowing what else to say.

Something felt weird about Namjoon, but you decided not to ask him about it, so instead you continued and said,

“I remember everything Namjoon. I remember what happened before the accident. I remember Jessica. I remember you guys, and I most definitely remember Hoseok. These last few weeks have been amazing to have a temporary fresh start in life, but all good things come to an end right? I don’t think I can handle seeing Hoseok again. I mean that is if he’s was ever planning to come visit, which I mean, would be pretty unlikely now since he has a girlfriend.” You weakly smiled.

Seeing you so torn at just the mention of his name, Namjoon decided that maybe now wouldn’t be the best time to persuade you to rethink your decision.

“I understand.” He simply said.

Giving him a small smile, you added,

“You guys also really don’t have to come visit. I mean it. Don’t come because he’s telling you guys to.”

“Y/N. We’re here not because of Hoseok. Honestly, even if he hadn’t asked us to come, we would have came anyways. We’re friends right? And…. no matter what your relationship with Hoseok will be like, we’re all still going to be your friends. We’re never going to stop caring about you.”

Suddenly feeling overwhelmed with emotions, you invited Namjoon into your open arms, which he gladly walked into.

“And if I’m being completely honest. We all like you more than Hani.” He mumbled into your hair.

Giving him a playful slap on his back, you instantly felt better.

Sure, maybe your relationship with Hoseok was ruined, but you were glad that you had friends like Namjoon and the rest of the members who treated you like family. That’s when you realized that their friendship and love was actually enough, and that you didn’t need to be in love to be happy.

Needless to say, after Namjoon’s visit, you were once again starting to feel a lot better both emotionally and physically, which greatly helped with your recovery.

And like promised, Hoseok never did show up…. until much.. much later.

It took Hoseok weeks to finally visit you. As soon as he heard about your seizure scare, he wanted to drop everything and run to the hospital, but his busy schedule and his company’s orders made it impossible to do so. Even when he did finally find the time to visit you, his busy schedule limited his visit time to a measly fifteen minutes, which even then he didn’t complain, because as long as he saw with his own eyes that you were okay, he would have been content.

The moment he entered the room, his tracks instantly stopped at the sight of your sudden fallen face due to his appearance.

“What are you doing here?” You asked.

He was taken back by the sudden coldness in your voice.

“I…. I came to visit.” He stuttered.

From the members, he heard that you had regained your memory, and as happy was he was, he had selfishly hoped that part of you actually forget about him because he knew, the moment your memory came back, you would want nothing to do with him.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend that you need to see?”

Maybe if you weren’t so emotional, you wouldn’t have spoken so harshly, but the moment you saw Hoseok, you couldn’t help but lash at him. You hated how stupid you were for falling for him all over again. You hated him for lying to you. You hated him for lying about the relationship that the two of you had. You hated him for making you feel so….. stupid. Even though half of the things that you were mad about weren’t completely his fault, you were so mad that you blamed everything on him.

“Y/N… It’s not like that. I came to visit you because I was worried about you I-“

“And now you see that I’m perfectly fine. You can go now.” You quickly said cutting him off.

“Y/N.. Baby. I wanted to talk to you…”

You suddenly cringed at the pet name that you had once loved.

“We don’t have anything to talk about. I think you’ve done enough talking while my memory was gone. Actually. I think you’ve done more than enough. What did you say? We were good friends? Good friends my ass.” You scuffed.

“Y/N…. I have explain just li-“

“Leave.” You sternly said, not even caring that you had cut him off again.

“Y/N.” He softly said.

“Leave.” You said again.

“Please. Just listen to me. I prom-“

“Leave. Just fucking leave me alone.” You harshly said.

“You trust me don’t you?” He softly asked.

Looking at him in complete disgust, you asked,

“Trust you? Do you think that I can actually trust you? You think I can trust you after everything that had happened? You think I can just pretend that nothing happened? That you hadn’t just broken up with me because of my company, without even discussing with me? And as if that wasn’t enough, you decided to once again choose my life for me by not telling me who we were? What right do you have to decide how my life goes? And now you ask me if I trust you? How can I possibly trust you. You didn’t visit me for weeks and suddenly come back one day asking if I trust you? And then what happened? I find out that you’re dating someone new through the internet? Just. Leave. Now.”

You hadn’t even noticed that you were crying, until you felt your shirt damp from your tears.

“Y/N. Please.” He begged.

You suddenly felt so tired and drained, that you barely had the energy to fight him.

“Please. Hoseok. Just… leave. Please?” You now begged as tears continued to stream down your cheeks with no indication when they were going to stop.

“I… I can’t leave you like this Y/N. Please let me explain. Please. Just one minute. One minute.” He begged.

Furiously shaking you head, you said,

“No. I can’t. I can’t do this anymore Hoseok. If you’re dating someone, don’t come back and visit me. I don’t need you to come anymore, in fact, I’m begging you, please don’t come anymore. I’m so done with all this. I’m so tired. I’m so tired of being sad because of you. I’m so tired of constantly thinking about who we were. I.. I just want to move on.” You quietly said as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand.

“You don’t mean that.” He said.

“I’m done Hoseok. I’m so done. I’m so fucking drained emotionally and physically. Please just fucking leave.” You quietly repeated over and over again.


“Hoseok. Leave.” Seoyoung said the moment she walked into the room and saw that you were a crying mess.


“Leave. Now. Come on. Leave.” She said again as she approached Hoseok to push him out the door.

Before the sound of Hoseok voice was completely out of earshot, you heard him say,

“Please. Let me just talk to her. I can’t leave her like this.”

And then the only sound filling the room was the the sound of your cries.

“Noona. Please.” Hoseok begged now in a complete crying mess.

“Hoseok. Are you fucking kidding me? We’re in the fucking hospital and you’re yelling like a complete mad man. Do you need the whole world to know that you’re visit Y/N right now?” Seoyoung angrily said as soon as she had freed Hoseok from her hard grip.

“Please. Noona. Please. I can’t leave Y/N like this. Please let me explain to her.” He begged.

“Explain what? Explain why you’re suddenly dating Hani? You think you explaining to Y/N why you’re dating is going to make her feel better? Don’t kid yourself.”

Just as Hoseok was about to speak up again, Seoyoung said,

“Hoseok. Please. I’m begging you to leave. Please. You’ve hurt her enough don’t you think? Don’t you think that she deserves a break? For fucking sakes she just had seizure and a heart attack. Give her a break. I know. I know you have a lot that you want to tell her, but wait until she’s ready to hear it okay? Look at how torn she was. She’s so tired Hoseok. Please. Give her some time.”

It seemed like forever before his tears finally came to an end.

“Noona? Can I ask you something?” He quietly asked.


“Do you believe me if I said that this is the best for Y/N?” He asked.

Getting him a confused look, she said,

“Truthfully. I want to Hoseok. I want to think that you’re better than this, that you would never hurt her to this extent. I want to believe that everything that you have done is her own good, but that’s what I want to believe. I will give you the benefit of doubt, because every story has two sides to it right?” She sighed.

Finally realizing that maybe just stubbornly waiting for you to listen to him was no use, Hoseok decided to give you some space.

“I’ll go…” He quietly said.

Giving a nod, she said,

“Okay.  Good.”

“I’m not giving up on her noona. Just.. know that.” He said.

“I know Hoseok. I know.” She sighed.

And that was the last time you had heard from Hoseok. Like promised, he never showed up again, but he did make sure that just like before, one of his members came to visit. And no matter how many times you told them that they didn’t need to come visit anymore, they all insisted on saying that they would have came to visit because they wanted to, and that it had nothing to do with Hoseok. Which you never quite bought.

Although you had told yourself over and over again that you were okay, the moment you saw a picture of Hoseok and Hani online, you completely broke down and cried for days.

No matter how many times you tried to convince yourself that you were over him, it hurt. God. It fucking hurt like nothing else. It hurt for you to see how happy he looked in those picture with her. It hurt to see the two of them hug. You envied her. You envied how he was able to show the whole world how in love he was with her. You hated yourself for doing it, but you couldn’t quite bring yourself to forget about him.

It seemed as though Hoseok had completely disappeared from your world because without those endless reports of him and Hani online, you didn’t hear from him through his members, nor had he tried to call you. Just as you were starting to think that he was completely over you, you found a new bouquet flowers beside your bed. As you reached for the card to see who it was from, you immediately froze at the sight of Hoseok’s name printed on the paper. The flowers itself was your favourite, white daises, but it was the simple, yet heartbreaking note that got you crying harder than you had ever done before.

Trust me Y/N. You’re all I want. - Hoseok

You felt yourself instantly soften at the sweet note. Before you knew it, you were instantly reaching for your phone to call him, but stopped when you got an incoming call from Seoyoung.

“Hello? Unni?” You answered.

“Y/N. Don’t open twitter okay?” She quickly said.

“Wait? Why?” You confusingly asked.

“Just don’t okay? You have to listen to me alright? Don’t do it.”

Although your curiosity started to peak more as she continued to warn you, you finally gave in and agreed.

As you quickly ended the phone call, you didn’t even think twice and opened twitter, and instantly regretted doing so.

Maybe you should have listen to Seoyoung. No. Not maybe. You really should have listened to Seoyoung.

Because nothing. Nothing in the world would have prepared you from quickly crumbling at the sight a picture of Hoseok and Hani kissing late at night.

With tears blinding your sight, your eyes quickly diverted to the pale daisies that was placed neatly on the drawer next to your bed. Anger was fuming through your blood as you threw the bouquet across the room, instantly ruining them.

Trust you? How am I suppose to trust you Hoseok? How?

It was a gift from Mary Margaret. A Christmas photoshoot for the two of them. Half an engagement gift, half a Christmas gift.

“It would be nice to have some good pictures of us to hang on the walls,” Emma said, after explaining to him everything involved with a photoshoot. Awkward posing and all.  

“Aye, I would like to have one on my person, too,” he smiled at her, leaning in for a kiss.


“Why do I get the elf hat?!”

“With your ears, come on, you don’t even need the sewed-on fake ones!”

“Is that why there are pieces of thread dangling from this monstrosity?”

Swan was right; it felt awkward and unnatural at first, but they were able to ease into it. Their favourite photo by far was the one of them carrying a prop tree, even if they had asinine hats on. Killian had tripped. Emma made some stupid quip about him not having his land legs, and the way they looked at each other in that one silly moment made it all worth while.

Merry Christmas @elizabeth-madles​ !! It was fun being your CS Secret Santa! I’m glad you don’t mind the early posting, I’m being sent on missions for the next two days as I write lol I hope you enjoy this little fluffy Christmas nonsense :D

Also shout out to @seethelovelyintheworld and @jenmmorrisons for looking the picture over for me :) 


So I managed to get into the Madtown Fan Signing event (17.07.16) and I absolutely loved meeting each member. The only thing is that I don’t understand a lick of korean so when they were speaking I was a bit lost. Also if anyone has questions on getting into a fansign event please chat me, I will be happy to help. :) But anyway back to the fansign, this going to be a long post so brace yourself.

Moos: First up was Moos and he is just so attractive, I can’t deal! He first said hi, nice to meet you and then proceeded to sign. I had to write my name on a piece of paper, which he pronounced correctly (most people misprounonce my name). He was the most conversational in English out of all the members. He asked where I was from and how old I was. I told him I was 20 and he was like I’m young and then he said he was 26 (korean age obvs). Then the part that killed me was when he was said ‘I’m your oppa!’ while smiling. Guys I was so weak, it’s like he purposely wants to make me delusional. Then I asked him if he remembered me from Mcountdown and his eyes lit up and was like yes I do. And he then said thank you and held my hand. He also wrote ‘I love you’ in my album. While he was writing it I said I love you too and he said thank you.

If you want to read my other post on meeting them at Mcountdown go here:

Daewon: This cutie pie was the only one who greeted me in korean lol. He asked me who my favourite member was and I hesitated at first so then he started pointing to himself lol. But then I pointed to Lee Geon who was sitting next to him and he sighed. Even though I didn’t speak korean he still was very conversational. I didn’t understand at parts and I kept on telling him sorry for not understanding and he kept on shaking his head and telling me not to be sorry. He’s just such a sweet and adorable person. I also asked him if he remembered me and he did. It seemed like he was trying to say that he recognised me earlier because he pointed to my seat. He also asked me if I liked dance and then we ended it by locking hands.

Lee Geon: Now this guy is my favourite but I won’t say my official bias. When he saw me he introduced himself in English saying ‘Hi name is Lee Geon'…so cute! He was wearing blue contacts and he just looked so attractive like wow! I again asked if he recognised me and he said yes and immediately took my hand. He kept on saying thank you and we also locked hands too. I think we touched hands the most lol. He then wrote in my the album a extra message which was ‘thank you for coming to Korea’. Plus every time he held my hand he stared into my soul. I tried to tell him he was my favourite member but I don’t think he heard it.

H.O: Next up was H.O and I told him I was from London and that he should come over. He was speaking in korean but I think he was trying to say that he wants to come and mentioned something about Festivals. We have alot of festivals over in England. He then wrote in my album that he will come to London. He was a bit fast so there was this awkward silence lol. So then he randomly says ‘yeahhhh’ and fist bumps me lol. I started moving to the next person but before I did I told him that I love his voice and he said thank you! I locked hands with him too.

Jota: He asked where I was from and as he said it he looked over to Heojun for reassurance. He then asked who my favourite member was and I said Lee Geon. I then told him that I loved him too and he smiled and said thank you. He also wrote ‘I love you’ in my album. We also locked hands.

Heojun: First thing he said was hi and pointed at my hair telling me it was nice. (I have in long sengalese twists.) He sweetly wrote a message in English saying ‘nice meet you! Nepor. Thank you’ with a smiley face in my album. Again we locked hands.

Buffy: And lastly I met Buffy. I asked him if he remembered me and he said sorry no which I understood because when I said Hi to him at Mcountdown he wasn’t looking at me. I told him I loved his rapping and he then said that his rapping is terrible. Which I then disagreed with, telling him that his rapping is great. We finally locked hands and then I went back to my seat.

After everyone had got their sign, they talked to fans. The clip above is when Buffy was saying some words in English and he would occasionally look over at me. They ended the event with a performance of emptiness which was amazing!! Overall it was a great experience and I would do it again.

anonymous asked:

"Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?" + Leico

‘So why do you keep hanging out here anyway?’ Leo shouts from underneath the great thing that is Festus’ head. 'If I’m so annoying?’

Nico shifts on the workbench and swings his feet as they dangle in midair. that’s a very good question. He does find Leo irritating, and a little insensitive, and fidgety. But then Nico shares some of those unfortunate qualities himself, perhaps not the fidgety one, but he knows he can be insensitive to other people’s feelings.

But what he knows he likes about hanging out with Leo is that he doesn’t have to worry about that. If he ever says anything too bluntly, that crosses the line too much, Leo just snarks back at him and throws a wrench in his direction, and then they are fine. Being around Leo is far easier than Nico than he ever would have thought.

'I don’t know,’ he says, 'got nowhere else to go.’

'Are you sure it’s not my excellent conversational skills?’ Leo calls from underneath Festus. It’s dry as usual, but there is just a hint of longing in his voice that Nico has become something of an expert at detecting.

He sighs. 'You’re not so bad, I guess. In fact, you’re probably my favourite person other than Hazel.’

Nico finds his cheeks becoming mortifyingly hot as Leo slowly rolls out from underneath the dragon head with an infuriatingly wide grin on his face.

'Oh sweetiepie,’ he says, 'I love you too!’

Nico narrows his eyes at the other boy. 'Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?’

Leo grins that awful, wonderful grin. 'No way. It’s seared in my memory.’

'Wonderful,’ Nico mutters, and kicks out at Leo’s foot, only smiling a little bit when Leo winks at him.


I’m on tumblr since fall 2012 but I only started using my account for real in may last year, so today is not any anniversary for my blog. On the other hand, it’s my birthday today, and I felt that this is a good occasion to make my first follow forever! I want to thank all of you who make my stay here better: those who make amazing graphics, gifs and fanmixes, those who write insightful metas, those who love the same fictional characters as I do, those who make me smile, those who inspire me and those who simply make my dash more pleasant to scroll.  I’m not the most talkative person you’ll meet, I don’t know how to start conversations without being awkward so if we’ve ever talked to each other I’ll always be grateful to you. Here are my favourite people on tumblr:


annamaywongs anneboleyns alswearengen bigbeewolf blurrymelancholy boromirs cerseilannistear catherinedemedici darylgrimes davosseaworth davosseaworths deisegal dont-opendead-inside droo216 droqo emergencyprotocol faramircaptainofgondor feathersofwinter  fionagoddess forged-by-fantasy francesconroys grumpybilbo highgayden hershelgrimes


jaimelannister lady-arryn lightcommasticks luarieholden madisonmontgomeryy maisiewilliams michelettos miracleininches mithrandy natdormer normanreedas normansreeds normanreedenstein nosafezone nymheria onepleiad princessaryastark puellaipulchra queencersei quodl


redvipers reedusdixons rickegrimes rubyredwisp songsofwolves stannisbaratheon stevensyeun stillnotspoiledyet stonehearting stuff-and-thangs thegovern0r the-walking-dead-amc theonqreyjoy tywinllanister valonqars walkingdixon wolfsfall woodburydiaries zuzzolek

[ Church of Rick Grimes ]

[ blogroll ]

Sick Days (Danisnotonfire Imagine)

fictionholdsmyheart: (Sorry I keep asking for dan howell imagines but they are amazing) could I please have a imagine about y/n maybe laughing at something he said and accidently saying I love you and dan freezes etc? Please and thank you! :)

Word Count: 1060

Warnings: this is a bit sappy

Notes: gurl, don’t worry about it! I love, love, LOVE writing Dan imagines (and Deefizzy imagine!) lol I do not mind, and I’m sure Maya doesn’t either!


You laughed at Dan as he continued telling the story of a time when he and Phil were traveling together and Phil freaked out about a squirrel. It was cracking you up which caused Dan to laugh as well. You and Dan had been dating for about two months now. Nothing was completely serious just yet, but you had a feeling that maybe this relationship would last. You didn’t know what it was, but you just had that positive feeling.

After that story, Dan brought up the story about him and the panic alarm at his old job. It was an older story and you have watched his YouTube video about the subject, but it was your favourite story Dan had to share. You let him tell it, and hearing it in person made you laugh even more. This story never got old. It was like your go-to story whenever you felt sad. You’d always pull up the video on YouTube and watch it and feel better.

Keep reading

Vic Fuentes Imagine

You were nervous. Scratch that. You were scared shit less. You had amazingly got the job of guitar tech for the band Pierce the Veil. You yourself were a huge fan, not crazy and obsessive, but you had to try your best to not hug them and scream. Tour was in two days and you hadn’t met the band yet. You had met the rest of the crew and they were amazingly sweet. You were shaking and wouldn’t say a word for the longest time but eventually warmed up to them. They had almost become like best friends to you in only an hour.

You rooted through your closet and drawers, grabbing the essentials. Lots of clothes and all your toiletries such as shampoo and conditioner, makeup, various perfumes and scents and so on. You had 3 bags in total. Your massive suitcase with the majority of your belongings and two smaller “mini suitcases” as you affectionately called them, which were actually like really big carry ons.

You zipped up the bags and set them by the door of your apartment. You dragged yourself back to your bed and just flopped down, face first into the fluffy pillows and duvet. You were beyond exhausted and your anxiety, that kept creeping back at the very worst of times, was certainly draining you further. Without even a moments notice, you passed out into a deep sleep.


This was it. The band’s assistant manger had come to pick you up and was now driving the two of you to the parking lot that the band was meeting up at and boarding the bus. You were silent and shaking.

“You alright Y/N?” his voice broke into your thoughts.

“Yeah. Just a bit anxious, I guess.”

He smiled, returning his gaze back to the road ahead. “Don’t worry. Pre- tour nerves get to everyone, even the band. It’s just a natural feeling I guess.”

I smiled. I looked to my right and saw a huge silver and grey motorcoach type of bus. We pulled into the parking lot. 

“Let’s go on tour!” he exclaimed, grabbing my hand. I let go and got out of the car giggling.

“Hey dude!” I heard Mike exclaim. Then I saw the others. There they were. Right in front of me. I started shaking and flushed pale white with bright pink cheeks. I hid behind their assistant manager like a small child, which caused my cheeks to get redder. I felt someone’s eyes on me and looked to see Vic staring at me. Not in a creepy way or a sad way, almost like in a… loving way.

The boys all came by. 

“Is this the new girl?” Jaime asked.

I moved out from behind the guy and shyly waved.

“Guys, this is Y/N. She’s the new guitar tech we were all talking about.”

“Hey there,” they all said in unison.

“Hi…” I replied, barely above a whisper.

“Everyone’s stuff is now packed! Get yourselves on it too!” the manager hollered at no one in particular.


We had been driving for a few hours now on our way to San Francisco for the first show. I was sitting on one of the leather couches in the corner closest to the driver. I never really said anything, feeling my anxiety creep back on.

“So Y/N,” Tony began. “Where are you from?”

You avoided everyone’s gaze. “Portland, Oregon,” I replied, looking at the floor.

“Cool. You OK?” Mike asked. “You seem anxious or scared.”

“No, well yeah.” You turned red.

“That’s alright darling. You’re anxious right?” Vic asked.

“Yeah. I have a bit of social anxiety,” you confessed.

Vic smiled. “Oh. Don’t worry though. We don’t bite.” You laughed.

Eventually everyone else went off doing their own thing and you stayed sat in the very same space, staring out the large bus window, daydreaming. Soon you fell asleep, having drained yourself yet again from being anxious and scared. The gentle vibrations of the bus rocked you to sleep, comforting you.


You woke up an hour later. A blanket was draped over your sleeping frame and a pillow was under your head. The bus had stopped and no one was around. Panic had started to set in when you looked across from you to find a sleeping Vic. He must have felt you staring as he soon woke up.

“Hey beautiful,” he groggily said. God he was even hotter when he had just woken up.

“Uh… Thanks for the pillow and blanket,” you quietly replied, blushing.

A lop-sided grin came across his face. ‘No problem. I thought you’d be more comfortable.“

A awkward silence soon fell over the bus.

"So,” you began. “Where is everyone else?”

“Rest stop. I was already sleeping when they left I guess. They wrote a note and taped it to my face,” he laughed.

You laughed too. Soon the door flung open and everyone came flooding back in.

“Hey! Well the sleeping beauties are awake,” Jaime joked. You smiled and felt your cheeks heat up a bit. Soon you began to drive again. Tony put on Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, one of your personal favourites. Vic moved and sat next to you. He took the blanket that was over you off and pulled you closer to him. He draped the blanket over the two of you and wrapped his arms around you. Everyone quietly watched the movie. When it was over, you finally let your heavy eyes close and snuggled into Vic’s side.

“Sleep tight darling,” was the last thing you heard before you were out cold.