my people who know me so well

anonymous asked:

Do absolutely whatever you feel necessary, you are not obliged to give content to us (tho we do appreciate it a lot), fanart should be done with joy, especially if you are not paid to do it. Please take care of yourself first, that is more important 💕💕

Thanks a lot anon! ;v; Yes you are exactly right, making and posting content on this site should never feel like work! I know for a fact that there are plenty of other creators in this fandom who feel the same way as I do, and I hope that me.. rambling about my personal struggles can make people think about whether being on this site is affecting them negatively as well, so they can take a step back if it does ^^

As for me, I hope I can regain my love for doing comics again soon! I’ll make sure to take care of myself and I hope everyone else does too \(;♡;)/

//Life is a bit…shitty to be honest.

I am sorry for my lack of activity and I do ask if you wish to rp then to add me on discord for I don’t know when @box-of-muses will be completed. My health is really poor and work is just pushing more and more stress ontop of me. I’m trying so hard to remain upbeat ND positive but honestly I can feel depression welling up and about to strike - it’s been a while since I last relasped so who knows how bad it’ll be ^^;


Anyways yeah I’ll reblog this a few times over the week. Just pm me for my discord info but only if you wish to. I am not the most social of personalitys at the moment >_< And I don’t wish to upset people by being too negative or coming across as cold.

My world is crumbling around me. I ask for patience while I attempt to stop my mind from caving in too. My personal blog will have more updates - I understand that all this ooc must annoy some of you ^^;


Anyways ya - multimuse may not be liked by too many but since I wish to still rp as much as I can while still looking after my mental health, it’s the only way forward for me. I thank you all for being so kind and so patient with me over the years.

Keep well everyone. I hope you’re all in a much happier place ^^

hatake  asked:

gary, you're too sweet for words 😭😭❤️❤️💕💕💕 thank you for always being a supportive and kind person!!! i don't know how i got so lucky to have found you on this website, but i am so glad i did. you bring so much goodness to everyone you talk to, as well as everyone who follows you. you're truly a light in people's lives and i know i'm not the only one who thinks so. thank you for existing and being you ❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕

Oh my gosh where are my tissues??? This is so kind and I shouldn’t even be all teary eyed from this but it sure makes me feel a certain kind of way hearing it from you ; u ; thank you so much my angel! I really appreciate hearing this. I hope we never lose contact because you’re one of my fave people on here and have been since I was like… 16 maybe? 17 even? Somewhere around there. I feel like you’ve been going through life along with me and seeing you and your blog grow over the years is so inspiring *big hugs*

I am really honored to be here with all of you guys tonight, my Lupus community. As many of you know or might not know, I was diagnosed with Lupus about five or six years ago. I’ve been speaking out about my situation to raise awareness about the disease. After undergoing so many tests to monitor my kidneys my doctors told me I have lupus nephritis, one of those complications from lupus. They said I would be needing a kidney transplant. (…) I am doing quite well now. I also want people to know why research is so important and why we must support the scientists who bring all the promise of new discovery. It feels good to actually be honoring people like you or in my world it could seem kind of vain, but this is really, really special.

10

Sorry for the long post, but I finally can share these pics from a photoshoot I did as Indian Princess Allura at the beautiful Shri Swaminaryan (Hindu) Temple in New Jersey! I was SO stoked with doing this after dreaming since last year to cosplay her representing more or less my ethnic culture. It was so much fun and hella nerve-wracking ‘cause though you can’t tell here, there were ALOT of people there who, of course, stared the eff outta me as if I came from an alien planet (which yah, makes sense with Allura). Some of them thought I was a statue from the temple! (makes sense too ‘cause I blended in really well). Overall it was a fantastic experience and I owe it to my wonderful photographer friend, Rhea Khan, for these fantastic pics. I think I’ll do more in the future ‘cause you know me and Indian Aus. 

Allura cosplay/makeup: me // Photography: Rhea Khan 

You don’t have to earn the right to live.

You don’t have to be productive to deserve happiness.

You don’t have to justify the space you take up in the world, the food you eat, the things you need physically or emotionally to keep moving forward another day. You deserve these things just because you are a living, breathing human being.

You don’t have to earn the right to live.

5

Some quick doodles of 707 that i’ve made for cheritz appreciation party.

A lot of people wished that someone like seven should be real. I do have a friend who has similar traits to him. And his personality is quite the same. Looking at seven always reminds me of him even though their looks are pretty much different.

Maybe that’s why i like seven so much and get attached to him easily.

Well, i can’t reach that person maybe for the rest of my life. But he’s a special friend and one of the most important person for me. So i hope he’s living a happy life and is healthy right now.

I’m not a catholic myself but i do love people who are devoted to their religion. Like seven, jaehee, jumin and v ^^♡

Thank you seven. I’m so glad i get to know you. You’re such an inspiring and wonderful character. And thank you cheritz for making rfa party happens. We’re really love your games and please keep doing it because you guys are amazing. (。’▽’。)♡

More about cheritz appreciation party

https://m.facebook.com/events/480528895652057/?ti=icl

The repurrrtation follow train:

I know a lot of other people have left as well, so I checked my followers and unfollowed over 1,000 inactive accounts. Now that there’s a lot of new blogsI want to follow the active ones. This follow train is for all of the still active swifties and new ones!

Rules:

1) Reblog this post.

2) Follow everyone who likes/reblogs this post.

3) Have fun! Reputation is coming!

Help me with a reblog because I made this beautiful edit and I’m pround.
Btw, I’m soooo in love with Meredith and Olivia

youtube
  • Bendy and Boris: The Quest For The Ink Machine (Part 27)

well I decided to share @ihaileysenpai BABTQFTIM dubs on this blog from now on so that people can go check her on youtube and tumblr and stuff

if that’s ok with you hailey 😄😕

so anyway; here’s the newest one!

and to answear all those who think I’m the dubber, No! I’m not I’m just the artist

so if you want any dubs of this “comic”,  just look it up on youtube, hailey aint the only one you know ^^

Truth or Dare

pairing : steve harrington x reader

warnings : smut (oral! fem on male)

requests : none :)


a/n : i’ve been making my friend watxh stranger things so i’m in a writing mood to write some stanger things stuff AND YES I MADE IT SO STEVE AND NANCY NEVER HAD A THING OOPS

“Time to get sheet faced?” I questionee as I held the neon orange piece of paper.

“Come on (Y/N), it’ll be fun.” Nancy nudged me as we walked down the school hallway.

“I don’t know, these kind of parties aren’t my speed.” I argued and she rolled her eyes.

“Everyone is going to go, even Steve.” Her voice was almost taunting at the last part. My heart leapt into my chest when she said his name.

“You’re going, end of story.” Nancy smiled before walking into her classroom leaving me speechless.

My heart was racing and my hands were shaking as I scavenged through my closet for a costume. As I frantically searched, my phone rang. I raced over answering to Nancy claiming that she’d be over in 10 and we’d go to the party.

“Nance, I can’t even find a costume.” I complained as I flopped down onto my bed.

“Come on, that’s easy. Wear that black and white stripped shirt you have and put on a black hat, bam you’re a bank robber.” She explained.

“You think that’ll look good?” I asked.

“Yes now get ready! I’m leaving now.” She said before she hung up the phone.

Nancy’s car pulled up as I put together the finishing touches of my costume, slipping a black beanie over the top of my head and checking the outfit over once more in the mirror.

I could see her headlights through my window, signaling for me to hurry up so I quickly escorted myself from the house, entering her car and greeting Nancy with a warm smile.

“You look like you’re about to steal some hearts.” Nancy winked at her clever comment and I rolled my eyes.

“Very funny.” I laughed as she drove off to the party.

Before we even entered the house I could already hear the loud music coming from the house. The silhouettes of the teenagers through the windows showed they were all dancing carefree without any doubts.

Once Nancy and I entered, one of our other friends Olivia called us over. A large group of people were sitting in a circle.

“Nancy! (Y/N)! Come join us in a game of truth or dare.” Olivia called happily, patting at the space on the couch next to her. Nancy and I complied and Nance sat next to Olivia and I sat down next to Nancy.

“What are you guys doing?” Steve Harrington himself walked over to the group, drink in hand.

“We’re playing truth or dare, you in Harrington?” A guy named Joshua called to him. Steve let out a huff and nodded, moving so he could sit in the only empty spot which was next to me.

“Alright guys, it’s Halloween night, so no holding back on dares you got it?” Olivia asked the group and everyone agreed.

As the game pursued, the dares slowly began to amp up. Barely any truths were asked, and it went from simple pecks between strangers to lap dances and strip teasing. More people have joined and I was silently praising that I was able to sink down enough into the couch so I wouldn’t be called on.

“(Y/N) has anyone dares you yet?” Nancy asked, finally looking over at you.

“No but it’s fine.” I quickly spewed our knowing that she was now going to dare me.

“No! You said you’d play so you should. So, truth or dare?” Nancy asked as my heart rate escalated.

“Dare, I guess.” I said softly and Nancy smiled.

“I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with…” She eyes the group of people even though I knew very well who she’d pick. “Steve” She finished the sentence and Steve and I both made eye contact. He grinned and nodded giving a simple okay. We both stood up, walking over to the small closet and closing the door behind us.

“So, enjoying the party?” Steve asked as he finished closing the door and scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah it’s alright, what about you?” I asked trying to remain calm.

“It’s going really well now.” He smirked taking a step closer.

“Why?” I asked growing even more nervous.

“Because I’m in a room with the hottest girl at this party all by myself.” He took another step closer so now we were only a couple inches apart.

“Really?” I asked, my voice timid.

“Really (Y/N), I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you the whole night.” With that he sunk his head down, connecting my lips with his. To my surprise, the kiss was slow and sweet, as if Steve was trying to savor every taste as well was I.

Steve’s hands gravitated to my waist, sliding around it and holding on loosely but with a firm grip. My hands flew into his hair, tugging harshly at the soft strands causing him to let out a low moan.

Steve’s tongue ran across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, granting him the access he was asking for, swirling our tongues together in a fiery dance of passion. Steve began taking steps forward until I was pushed back against the wall, Steve’s mouth moved from mine to my neck. Leaving harsh kisses down my neck and then he immediately stopped.

I whined at the loss of intimacy and he took a step back grinning. As if on command, the door flung open with Olivia with her hands on her hips.

“Did you guys just stand there? That’s boring. Well, while you guys just chatted in here the game ended and a lot of people left so you guys can leave if you want.” Olivia explained, before walking off. Steve turned to me smirking slightly.

“What do you say we go back to my place? My parents aren’t home right now, actually they won’t be home all weekend.” Steve offered and I happily agreed.

The minute we walked into Steve’s house, Steve pushed me up against the door, kissing me once more but this time it was filled with passion and lust. My arms wound tightly around his neck and his large hands went for every inch of my body, exploring as well as discarding articles of clothing.

“Wow.” Steve breathed out as I stood there shirtless. He quickly grabbed my hand, pulling me over to the couch in his living room. Laying me down and then throwing off his shirt before hovering over me. He kissed down my body, only stopping to replace his kisses with a harsh bite. I moaned out loudly at the feeling and I could feel Steve smile against my skin.

“That’s right, baby. Be as loud as you want. Nobody will hear.”

With that I flipped us over so I was straddling him and his eyes went wide.

“The same goes for you.” I smiled seductively to him as I slowly undid his belt and the button of his jeans, I pulled them down, allowing for his concealed hard on to spring free. I admired his naked body before I lowered my head towards where he needed me most. I licked a long strip on the underside of him and he let out a deep growl at the feeling. I wasn’t satisfied with his reaction so I decided to completely take in as much of him as I could.

Once he hit the back of my throat I began to pump him through my mouth at a painfully slow movement. Using my hand to caress everything else I couldn’t fit in. Steve’s mouth was filled with whines and whimpers at the pace. Finally getting closer to the satisfaction of his actions I began to pump faster on him, swirling my tongue around him as well. He began to buck his hips, making me take even more of him into my mouth.

He began to let out loud groans in pleasure at the feelings and once I reached a speed and could feel him twitching, he pulled me off.

“As much as I love you for that, I’d rather cum inside you.” Steve admired and I blushed. As I sat there straddling him, I slowly unclipped my bra and felt the cold air hit my chest. Steve’s hand gently brushed up against my face as he brought my face closer to his.

“You are absolutely beautiful.” He gushed to me and I smiled, nuzzling my face into his hand. Pushing my lips to his, Steve moved his hands to remove my pants as well as my panties, leaving us both completely naked. He switched positions so I was once again my back was resting against the couch and Steve used his upper arms to hold himself up.

“Are you ready?” Steve asked almost in a whisper and I was caught off guard by his sudden carefulness. I nodded at him and brought him into another sensual kiss as he began to insert himself into me. We both moaned into each other’s mouths as the level of pleasure filled us both. Steve began to thrust in and out, slow and steady at first and then picking up the pace. My nails raked against his back and pulled tightly at his hair.

His head ducked down to rest in the crook of my neck and I decided to switch positions one more time. I flipped us so I was riding him as Steve laid back, letting me do the work. I bounced on him quickly as Steve tightly gripped my hips, helping me get into a rhythm that suited both of us. A knot tied tighter in my stomach at the new position I threw my head back, moaning out.

“You look so hot.” Steve moaned as he took one of his hands to massage my breast. The knot tied tighter and tighter until I couldn’t bear it and I came down from a strong high. I screamed out and Steve came to, moaning out.

As we both came down from our highs I fell flush against Steve and he wrapped his strong arms around my torso.

“I really think we should do that again.” Steve offered.

“What about your parents?” I inquired.

“Like I said, they won’t be home all weekend.” Steve smirked.

Originally posted by maxmayfield

Ok so…THAT WAS THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE. Let me tell you I’ve never done anything so spontaneous, been more excited or felt so special in all my 25 years on this earth 

first of all let’s go back to last Wednesday when I got a message from taylor nation while sitting at my desk at work and literally SHIT my pants?? not sure how anyone is supposed to process that kind of correspondence alone in a padded room LET ALONE in an office full of professionals ANYWAY I very calmly sent them all the information they asked for including my bank balance, blood type and organ donor status and NOT SO CALMLY AWAITED THEIR CALL like no offence but did they realise i was from australia…?? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS ABOUT i was torn between thinking they messaged me by mistake and they only wanted my details so they could send me merch

fast forward to thursday after i had managed to keep this news to myself for an entire 24 hours (…) there i am at my desk.. in the middle of working 9-5 like dolly herself.. when I receive a call from a US PHONE NUMBER i quickly make my way to a quiet room while my internal organs are literally escaping out of my ass in an orderly fashion and i legit answer like “h h h h hello” SPIT IT OUT BITCH anyway i spend the entire conversation like giggling and squealing trying to pretend like i don’t know EXACTLY why they’re calling..THE.. first of all she tells me this is all top secret blah blah blah then SHE ASKS ME TO CONFIRM MY SOCIAL MEDIA HANDLES which is when the toesmut fiasco happened.. seriously the fact i made poor innocent taylor nation say “your twitter is …. toesmut … ? t-o-e-s-m-u-t …?” is going to haunt me for THE REST OF MY LIFE

anyway SHE (the lady from taylor nation who’s name I did not catch any of the 3 times she called me because i was hysterical) informed me I was invited to a secret event in LA which was taking place on Sunday and asked if me if i would be able to come … UMMM HONEY I DON’T KNOW BECAUSE IT’S THURSDAY AND YOU’RE ASKING ME TO FUCKING MAKE IT TO LA BY SUNDAY any way i was like “hehehe i don’t know it’s short notice ummm I’d really like to come but i need to like figure out the logistics” and she was like “ok i can call you back in an hour and a half and you can let me know what you decide” SJNDFJKSDHF  ok sweetie SURE anywhere else you’d like me to be by sunday?? antarctica? i spent my entire lunch break SWEATING i called my mum and my sister (PS I REALISE YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE BUT I WAS ABOUT TO MAKE A SPUR OF THE MOMENT TRIP TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD) and i was like “I HAVE TO GO THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME OPPORTUNITY” and they were like “CAN YOU TAKE SOMEONE” and i was like “I DON’T KNOW” anyway i make my way back to work a MESS and wait for TN to call me back..WHEN THEY DO she’s like “so have you made a decision?” and I’m like “asoi;fjsdjlfghjdlfhjgsliduhfg can I bring my sister I’m coming such a long way and it’s really short notice and she’s such a huge fan it would mean the world to me if she could come sdjfkjdhfs” and she was like “hmmmm I don’t know the answer to that I’ll have to call you back tomorrow” and in my head I’m like “TOMORROW???? ASJHDFSJKDHF TOMORROW IS FRIDAY THE EVENT IS ON SUNDAY AND I’M IN FUCKING AUSTRALIA BITHC???” so i said “ok that’s fine”

asjknsdfksnk let me tell you I had the worst sleep of MY LIFE like whether I was going alone or with my sister i now had less than 24 hours to plan a trip to the u.s. TO MEET TAYLOR SWIFT AND LISTEN TO HER NEW ALBUM IN HER FUCKING HOUSE

LONG STORY FUCKING SHORT she calls me back at like 10.30 on FRIDAY (THE EVENT IS SUNDAY AND I’M GONNA BE CATCHING A FLIGHT ON SATURDAY) and tells me that YES my sister can come (!!!!!!!!) sO i shit my pants for the SECOND TIME in 48 hours because i realise not only am i absolutely meeting taylor fucking swift in 72 hours with my sister at her house in LOS ANGELES i need to book flights, accommodation, apply for a visa waiver, purchase us currency and buy a bunch of other essentials BEFORE THE DAY IS OVER anyway I DID IT AND MANAGED TO GET MY ASS OUT OF BED AT 4.15 SATURDAY MORNING TO CATCH A 14 HOUR FLIGHT TO LA

so we spend the entirety of our first day in LA looking for outfits because like??? we are about to have the most important conversation and take the most important photo of OUR ENTIRE LIVES anyway we ended up finding something cute then we decided to go to in n out for dinner because we wanted to look our absolute best for the big day 

THE FUNNIEST THING about the beginning of this trip was we were doing so much touristy stuff that WE COULDN’T EVEN POST ABOUT ANYWHERE because nobody could know we were in LA like i was at santa monica pier sending snap chats to my mum and nobody else it was KILLING ME like we were having the BEST TIME and NOBODY KNEW we were just doing so many DAMN ACTIVITIES like on the sunday we literally got back to our hotel an hour before we needed to be at the meeting point because my sister insisted we had to eat at the cheesecake factory for the second time in 24 hours?? let me tell you it was worth it 

so we get ready and catch an uber to the meeting point and my sister and i finally start to realise like HOLY SHIT WE ARE GOING TO TAYLOR SWIFT’S HOUSE i’m suddenly filled with like so much nervous energy i can’t stop moving i’m like running on the spot and ringing my hands SHIT i was so excited OH by the WAY everyone was SO NICE and pURE like spending an afternoon with 50 plus people who love taylor swift as much as you do know that you’re ALL going to be meeting her soon is honestly the most magical shit EVER 

ok let’s talk about THE EVENT first of all the property was GORGEOUS i felt like a VIP like ME hanging out in beverly hills like it was nbd??? there was food, water, soft drinks, everything was custom like THIS BITCH (taylor) is so extra I ADORE HER everything was so well planned like i didn’t feel stressed at all BUT BOY WAS IT HOT IN THAT ROOM i mean lucky i was having so much fun and was too distracted by the fact i was about to be listening to reputation to worry about the fact i was about to meet taylor swift and i was sweating like a pig 

THEN she walks in..and let me tell u..that shit is breathtaking bro..i have never in my life seen someone so beautiful?? flaws?? ms swift has never experienced that emotion..and if her gorgeous face and body weren’t enough SHE. HER. SHE. decides it’s a great idea to bring danielle and alana haim, ruby rose, jack antonoff and OTHERS in with her to listen to the album  

obviously i can’t talk much / at all about what took place in that room but let me just say i’ve spent every second since i left that house thinking about how much i need to listen to that album again..so different and so much more than what i was expecting and taylor is SO PROUD OF IT i could tell it meant the world to her that we loved it because this music is obviously really important to her..y’all are going to love it i mean it 

after we listened to the album taylor left the room to ..idk..make herself look even more gorgeous than she already looked?? we got to look at the reputation magazines and they are PERFECT i know not everyone has the means to buy a copy for themselves but if you can GET ONE you won’t regret it..and those poems 

so we all lined up to meet her and let me tell you watching people have their moment with taylor is so special man like everyone is SO excited before they walk in there and NOBODY leaves disappointed because not only is taylor the warmest most personable human being on planet earth she puts so much effort into knowing who each and every person she’s invited into her home actually is .. i can’t stop thinking about it she’s an incredible human being 

anyway on to ME i honestly didn’t know what to make of the fact she came directly to my blog on both days i was in the US before the event..like was it possible..she knew me?? turns out it WAS which was great because i literally didn’t plan what to say AT ALL i’m such a dumb bitch..anyway i walk in there and give her the biggest hug and she’s like “aww how are you doing?” and i was LITERALLY this gif

but i said “umm i’m doing pretty good” THEN..ladies THEN she said “i’m so glad you could come danielle” and she turns to my sister and she’s like “and you’re annalie right” and let me tell you..annalie dropped dead..NOBODY GETS HER NAME RIGHT. THERE IS A WOMAN AT HER WORK WHO HAS CALLED HER AINSLEY FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS. then…we had a conversation..taylor swift..and i..had a conversation? she told me i was THE funniest person and that she would check my blog everyday..she said..when she was having a bad day..she would search “screamedsooloud” because she knew she would see something that would make her laugh..let me tell you at that point i KNEW i was fucking dead 

she told me i was funny and we told her she was the funniest person we’d ever met and she laughed like it WASN’T TRUE?? she said she knew who i was as soon as i walked in and i was like “you are so amazing” that’s not a fake quote by the way or some internal dialogue i actually said that..she referenced all the posts i made asking “WHERE IS SHE” at the start of this year..and i was like “i just really needed to know” she was like “i wanted to say JUST WAIT I’M COMIING” AND I WAS LIKE “I KEPT TELLING PEOPLE I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING and i was right” AND i was like “i can’t believe you saw that” and she was like “oh i’ve seen everything”.. she knew i had deleted my blog and she said she had tried to refollow me but she had reached follow limit..after she told me i was funny another 15 times we took a couple of photos (WHERE ARE THEY BY THE WAY) then we talked a little more and she asked if they’d let me know with plenty of time that i was invited and i was like “NO I ONLY FOUND OUT ON THRURSDAY” and she was like “oh my god you’ve been on a list for a year” i CHOKED and she was like “i told them to tell you early because you were coming all the way from australia” and i was like “WELL THEY DIDN’T” and she was like “see i don’t have that much pull guys” and i was like  “jkhsdfskdfghsg” then she told us how much she appreciated us coming and we were like thank you so mcuh we love you so much and she said she loved us and then we took our merch and our dignity and got the HELL OUT

i..still can’t believe any of this happened and i don’t know if i ever will..it was the greatest day and week of my life and it’s all because taylor is the most generous, thoughtul, hard working person in the world..i love her so much and i hope all of you get the chance to tell a story like this some day 

5

I’m, most likely, never going to use these again, so I thought I might as well share them for people to use

~ You don’t need to like/reblog if you use
~ Credit me if you use

my not-quite-new years resolution is to stop saying/implying that I’m not a functional grown up, that I’m afraid of “adult” things or that I’m bad at “adulting” or anything like that where I diminish my maturity and ability.

there are already lots of people out there who would infantalize me for various reasons and I don’t need to be one of them. I need to do the opposite.

also the truth is…..I’m actually really good at this stuff when I need to be. I can make phone calls and appointments and handle paperwork and interviews and errands and responsibilities. I’m almost 27, I’ve done it all before and I’ll do it again. So what if some things makes me nervous or tired or confused? That still doesn’t mean I’m bad at them. I know how to handle everyday adult things as well as anyone else, how to figure out solutions to my problems and handle them and I do it all the time and I’m actually pretty good at it, so yeah, no more of that!

Cesar Millan is a Hack and Everything You Know is Wrong

Well, probably not everything, but there are some serious issues in the dog training world right now and with the advent of t.v shows about dog training and social media it’s getting out of control. 

First off, why call out Cesar Millan?

Because he’s one of the driving forces behind every misconception I’m about to lay out before you. In a nutshell, he has no understanding of dog behavior, he touts himself as a dog behaviorist when the only actual education on dogs he’s had is being a dog groomer, his training methods are misguided at best and abusive at worst. Most actual canine professionals can’t stand him for these reasons. Many, many professionals have written articles roasting him yet he still manages to hang on to his persona of ‘dog whisperer’ because people who don’t know any better mistake his pseudoscience for fact. 

What pseudoscience? Let’s start with the absolute core of his, and many other misguided understandings of dog psychology: The dominance theory.

I hear it all the fucking time. At the dog park “Suzy, get down! Lol sorry, she’s just so dominant” “Aw, he’s so submissive!” “Cody is an alpha, so he’ll try to dominate other dogs at first”. It all makes me want to rip my teeth out with rusty iron chopsticks. Where did people get this idea that dogs naturally fall into dominant or submissive categories? This bullshit all started with, well, bullshit. 

In 1974 a man named Rudolf Schenkel decided to study the social structure and behavior of wolf packs not by, idk, observing them in the wild, but by taking random adults from random packs and throwing them into the same zoo enclosure. Real scientific, right? He created the Alpha-Omega (I.E. Dominant/submissive) structure from the ensuing chaos he observed. In his paper, the man constantly compares dogs and wolves and this became an often sited work in studying dog behavior. In reality, wolves do have a complex social structure but it’s more easily compared to a family dynamic because essentially that’s what it is. This isn’t even that relevant to dog training, however, as dogs and wolves behave very differently. (This is, by the way, why the keeping of wolf dogs is extremely difficult and should only be done by professionals). Despite being debunked numerous times, this study continues to be used as a foundation of many dog training methods, and has been taken to truly bizarre and even sickening levels. 

Check out these nuggets of “information” from a popular dog website. Not only is it dripping with completely unfounded dominance bullshit, but it also pushes the idea (as does Cesar) that dogs have a pack mentality. This isn’t really the case either. Dogs ARE social animals and having a social structure around them is VITAL, but this ‘pack’ mentality is being pushed in an unhealthy way. It follows the dominance theory and states that dogs must find their ‘rank’ in their ‘pack’ and that hyper-romanticized wolf pack structure “rules” must be followed. Here’s a debunking of them:

1. Dogs literally do not care who’s head is higher. This is a classic example of hyper-romanticized wolf behavior and is contracted many times on this site when they assert a small dog can be “dominant” over a big one. 2. Dogs are curious animals and have usually been socialized to think that humans = play and tummy rubs. Your dog is excited and curious about the newcomer and, if not trained otherwise wants to investigate (and possibly get those tummy rubs) asap. 3. More romanticized nonsense. If your dog acts adversely to being moved from where she’s resting, it’s because of a training issue (and likely lack of proper socialization) and not because she’s being “dominant”. 

1. Dogs do not have starring contests. Looking away while being stared at isn’t your dog “submitting” to you. It’s a sign that the dog is uncomfortable and I would be too if someone was engaged me in an impromptu staring contest. It’s that dog’s way of saying “dude, can we not do this?” Also another behavior that I’ve seen people interpret as ‘submission’; opening the mouth and/or panting. This is indicative of stress. Think of how you might begin to sweat if you’re stressed. Same basic principle. 2. Dogs want to sleep in bed with you because the bed is comfortable and they like being around you. The position literally does not matter, though you may want to make the bed invitation only just as a general part of training. 3. This is a matter of preference. Personally, I allow my dogs to roughhouse with me and me alone because I don’t mind it and I can teach them a biting threshold so that they never hurt me. I find this lays a good foundation to make sure they’re gentle when I train them to bring me things, etc. 

Ever seen a kid fall down, but not start crying until his mom freaks out? Same basic principal applies here. Your dog isn’t “instinctively understanding you’re the alpha”. You’re projecting confidence and because your dog looks to you to help her understand the world, you’re making her feel safe and assured. On the other hand, if you act fearful, like the kid who looks to his mom after he fell, your dog will look to you and see that something is not right and it’s time to be fearful. “Mom is upset and on edge so I should be too!”. 

1. Good feeding habits are a must, but eating before your dog is not. Dogs are not wolves and even wild wolves (and lions for that matter) the leader usually eats first along with the pups/cubs and they usually don’t eat their fill before the others are allowed to eat. 2. Appearing to eat out of his bowl is completely unnecessary and is usually only done when trying to correct resource guarding behaviors. 3. There’s a difference between begging for food/being disruptive and not even allowed to be excited to eat. This is the line that made me want to punch this woman in the face. Imagine being psychologically abused to the point where a dog isn’t even allowed to wag it’s tail when it knows it’s about to be fed. A dog who sits down without intensely staring or turns away isn’t being ‘respectful’; in this case it’s likely been abused and is avoiding a stimulus that’s been paired with abuse (the preparation of food). 

Using these methods to train a dog can produce a well behaved dog like child abuse can produce a well behaved child. They may appear to work, but the subject in question will not be happy or well adjusted. 

Why do people keep flocking to this bullshit? For the same reason they love to reblog outlandish “facts” on this hellsite (Like, does anyone else remember that “did you know” post that claimed there was a recessive gene that made a woman’s eyes purple, have no period yet be fertile, and grow no body hair? Seriously) and unfortunately some people flat out use it to justify abusing their dogs. It puts people as the “alpha” and makes them feel powerful. It sounds scientific to people who don’t know any better. Mr. Dog-groomer chinstrap says it’s good on T.V. 

So what’s a better frame of mind to be in when you train dogs? Remember there’s no one set of ‘rules’ that will result in the perfectly trained dog and remember that every dog is different. Do all the research you can and remember your dog is…a dog. Your dog is not going to plot vengeance, nor is it always going to understand things that seem perfectly logical to you. Be patient, ask for help if you need it, don’t lose your shit, and again, learn absolutely everything you can. 

Prompts List

List of prompts that can be requested (w/ or w/o a requested person/character) - [most of these are prompts I found on pinterest in the writing prompts tag - will be adding prompts continuously] - Also, when requesting please take this into consideration: https://fictionpants.tumblr.com/post/167397538527/just-a-quick-note-about-requests

1. “I apologise in advance for the inconvenience my murder is going to have on your life.”

2. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”

3. “Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda.”
“It’s not on anyone’s.”
“No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.”

4. “Hold on, you died.”
“Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

5. “This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”
“Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”

6. “She’s crying, what do I do?”
“Go comfort her.”
“How do I do that?”
“Start with hugs.”
“With what?”

7. “What’s our exit strategy?”
“Our what?”
“Oh my god, we’re all going to die.”

8. “I’m going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.” “Vodka? For the spell?”
“No, that’s just to make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.”

9. “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?”
“I don’t know, probably both.”

10. “I saved your lives.”
“How? By stealing our freedom? Our minds? Our identity?”

11. “It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.”

12. “I’m getting really tired of pretending I’m not evil.”

13. “Did you just agree with me?”
“Oh I wish I could take-”
“Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

14. “It’s a long story.”
“You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

15. “I regret a lot of things. Having this conversation tops the list.”

16. “I had a thought.”
“Oh no.”
“I swear it’s a good one this time!’

17. “FBI, open the door!”
“No. It’s cooler when you break in.”

18. “Do you think they remember you?”
“I sure hope not after what I did the last time I was here.”
“What did you do?”
“You’ll find out.”

19. “You look…”
“Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

20. “You scared me!”
“Well, I am naturally terrifying.”

21. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

22. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that.”
“You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”

23. “You really have no clue who I am?”
“You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

24. “I am way too sober for this.”

25. “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.”
“That’s what makes me so good at it.”

26. “I don’t think of you as a protector. More like a distraction.”

27. “We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
“Actually, it’s more like eight.”
“Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”

28. “If you could even comprehend where I’ve come from, you would be terrified of me.”

29. “I saved your life!”
“You pushed me off a building.”

30. “You know we’re not all born with the ability to throw fireballs, right?”

31. “How do we keep getting into these situations?”
“Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

32. “Did you hear that scream?”
“Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”

33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”
“Yes.”
“What if I just break his nose a little?”

34. “You are remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”

35. “You’re-you’re crushing my spleen.”
“You don’t even know where your spleen is.”

36. “I’m no detective, of course, but I think this dead body might not be alive anymore.”

37. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.”
“Can I pick?”

38. “The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.”
“I almost died!”
“Ah yes, that was my fondest memory.”

39. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!”
“And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

40. “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!”
“What do you want? A gold star?”

41. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”

42. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-”
“At least a twenty.”

43. “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

44. “Seven billion people in the world, and you’re overreacting because we killed one man.”
“But-”
“Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your smoothie.”

45. “It’s not my birthday.”
“It’s definitely your birthday.”
“Give me a calendar. It’s not and I will prove it to – oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me.”

46. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?”
“I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties.”

47. “I can fix that.”
“I’m calling a professional.”
“I’m a professional.”
“A more professional, professional.”

48. “What’s the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?”
“Those are children. That’s a school.”

49. “I have a concern.”
“Just one?”
“No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my piece if I told you how many I actually have.”

50. “Why are you glaring at me?”
“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.”

51. “If we die, I’m going to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this was all your fault.”
“That’s cool, I wouldn’t mind having company while being a ghost.”

52. “What are you so afraid of?”
“You.”

53. “What is that THING in your backpack?”
“It’s my new pet dragon.”
“Dragons aren’t real!”
“Then why is there one in my backpack?”

54. “I hate the sight of blood.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t kill for a living.”

55. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

56. “Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”
“Oh god, we’re going to die, aren’t we?”
“It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.”
“You absolutely do not.”

57. “I don’t give a damn.”
“You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

58.  “It’ll be easy. You just have to seduce them.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m about as seductive as a cabbage.”

59. “You’re not as evil as people think you are.”
“No. I’m much worse.”

60. “That’s a terrifyingly accurate drawing of us.”
“It’s almost like I’m good at what I do.”

61. “You have no power over me.”
“You sure about that?”

62. “This isn’t good.”
“How can you tell?”
“See how they’re slowly surrounding us? And they all have guns and knives and I think one guy is carrying a machete?”

63. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
“Actually he’s right in front of you.”

64. “I’m not a thief. I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”

65. “I’m not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face.”

66. “Is that blood?”
“No?”
“That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

67. “I never stood a chance, did I?”
“That’s the sad part – you did once.”

68. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

69. “I’m not going to leave you.”

70. “Everything is okay.”

71. “I’m going to protect you.”

72. “I believe in you.”

73. “Do you feel guilty? Like, at all?”
“I don’t have time to feel guilty. And neither do you.”

74. “Stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

75. “What are you doing?”
“…Eating.”
“We’re being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen?”
“They didn’t say the fridge was off limits.”

76. “Is that a dead body?”
“Maybe?”
“It is. I can see it right in front of me.”
“I promise I’ll clean it up before dinner.”

77. “If we’re going to get out of here, we’re going to have to work together. After that, we can go back to killing each other.”
“Oh, fine.”

78. “That’s not funny.”
“I thought it was.”
“You don’t count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.”

79. “Do we need wine?”
“No, I need wine, you need to put your pants back on.”
“But life is so freeing without them.”
“Pants. On. Now.”

80. “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

81. “I feel like I’m being stabbed.”
“How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

82. “Will you be quiet?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Well stop thinking so loud.”

83. “Did you get my note?”
“Of course I got it. You taped it to my forehead while I was sleeping.”

84. “You’re a psychopath.”
“I prefer creative.”

85. “Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?”
“Because you’re in shock.”
“That doesn’t mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze.”

86. “Oh no.”
“What is it? What happened? Who died?”
“I think I just felt an emotion.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”

87. “When all this is over, I want my sanity back.”

88. “That’s definitely not true.”
“Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.”

89. “You forgot me.”
“It was an accident.”

90. “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?”
“Yes.”

91. “I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.”
“You are the WORST at this comfort thing.”

92. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
“What?”
“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

93. “Look, if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”

94. “Just calm down!”
“My leg just dematerialised and you want me to calm down!?”

95. “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit ton of calories.”
“Who even says that?”
“Me. Just now.”

96. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.”

97. “Oh my god, I had the exact same dream!”
“Really?”
“Are you crazy? Of course I didn’t.”

98. “I need to go de-stress.”
“Where are you going?”
“To demolish the living room.”

99. “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

100. “I’m bitter and complicated. It’s one of my charms.”
“I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”

101. “I don’t know what the protocol is for revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?”

102. You always think you know what you’d do when faced with the end of the world. Me? I went home and took a nap.

103. “Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”

104. “I’d hug you right now, but you’re covered in evidence. And I also really don’t want to.”
“Evidence is a really nice euphemism for blood, gore and guts.”
“You’re totally missing the point. Do you know how pissed I am at you right now?”

105.  “This way is more efficient.”
“This way is going to get us killed.”

106. “You’re not my favourite person today.”
“I’m not your favourite person on any day.”

10

Meet Adam Rippon: Unapologetically Himself

I made [the decision to come out] because I remember when I was younger, and I was unsure of who I was or afraid of what other people might think, I looked to other people who shared their stories. And when they shared their stories it made me feel like I could really accept and I could really be myself. I thought it would be really important that, if I had the opportunity, I would share my story as well. Once I did that, I felt so much weight lifted off of my shoulders.

[…] Every day I go into practice, and every competition I enter, I feel like, you know what, the only thing holding me back is myself. The only thing holding me back is fear. So I’m gonna go into everything and be fearless. And I think being fearless is just unapologetically being yourself.

So who is Adam Rippon? I might not be the best technical skater, but I think I’m the best performer that’s out there in the world. And if you don’t think you’re the best, then who will? So I take that confidence and I put that into my performances. And I know that that’s what I have to offer. My secret weapon is that I really am just who I am when I go out there.

I see myself at the US Championships, getting my job done, and no one’s going to get in my way because I have gotten out of my own way. This season, I will be better than I’ve ever been before. And everybody better watch out.

ISSA STORYTIME

Ok I’m bored so ima tell y’all a wild ass story that happened to me first semester of my college experience; the story of when I got laced by a wild thot with some CRACK. Let’s get into the tea gorls

So I went to art school for communications design. I dont go there no more because it was hella racist, but a different story for a different day. The campus I went to was way up north, in Utica. Never heard of it? Didn’t think you would. Just imagine if the worst neighborhood in Detroit was an entire town with like no people and cows. I don’t know about y’all but at my school we had this thing called late night where we get snacks and shit in the cafeteria after dinner. I was one of 6 black boys in my entire school so it was always dry. So this particular late night I had got a pink wig and started fucking around and giving these crackers some life to entertain myself. My extra ass being who I was did stand-up for the entire night. Since it was early in the school year tho I aint really have no solid friends, so the people who I was gonna go smoke with finished their food and left me like some fucking snakes. When I was done I was deep in my feelings lol because bitch…..you gon spark up…..without me???

I was like “y’know what idgaf, I don’t need you niggas” because I’m likable, right? I could talk to anyone I wanted and make friends. That’s what my dumb ass thought even though I knew damn well these all were some back woods ass white people from Cousin Fucker Nowhere. So I’m standing in front of the dorms like “ok, if I was a white person who loved giving free weed to negroes, what would I look like?” and as though Satan himself heard me, this girl wearing dem Jerusalem B.Cs (you know what I’m talmbout) and a bright jacket that had to be from the thrift store because it smelled like pickled dick and horse radish extract walked past. I was like DING DING DING, gotcha Becky!! So I was like “omg hi sis, I always see you in class and I think your style is so cool blah blah” and all that fake shit. Naturally Linda felt gassed af and immediately offered to let me smoke with her. Yeah, yah boi got it like that.

But mama ain’t raise no fool and I seent Get Out so I don’t go nowhere with a white person without at least one other poc with me. So this couple I’m good friends with now was walking out of the dorms, we just gon call them Peanut & Jelly. They were quiet and both shy people so they didnt hang out much yet. They were also native and latino which was good enough for me so my loud ass was like “Aye, y’all smoke??” it’s 2017 so of course they smoke and I invite them to come smoke some of Margret’s weed. Consider it reparations. Since they ain’t have no friends they were happy to come join us. Smh y’all if you see this I’m so sorry I got y’all into this lmao. Anyway Trisha was like “Super duper the more the merrier, let’s go :))” with her wild ass. But I remembered I still had some of my own weed left so we ran to my room and got it, but I ain’t have no bag to carry it in. So Ingrid said “Oh, I have a bag you can put it in” and pulled out this ashy ass ziploc bag. RED FLAG NUMBER ONE. But my clueless ass thought she just had some plaster or some shit in there before since we went to an art school. Smdh.

Originally posted by ihiphop

Shortly before we depart Peanut and I are getting everything together and making sure there’s no smell. While this is happening Jelly watches Rebecca spread some “dust” on her gums. RED FLAG NUMBER TWO. This nigga thought it was candy dust or something. No one in this equation is particularly bright. But anywhore, we started making moves to this parking lot/roof that we usually hung out at. I was hoping my friends fake asses would be there so I could ditch Jill’s ass. Peanut & Jelly I ain’t mind because they were cool once you got them to talk. I could tell they weren’t feelin Harriet tho lol and tbh neither was I but would your ass turn down a completely free spark up??? Didn’t think so. We get to the roof finally and I start checking my jacket to find I forgot my mini bong in my room. So Elizabeth is like “Oooh awesome we can smoke out of my pipe!” and I’m like lol you bougie ass bitch just call it a bowl. But my fake ass just said “Litty gorl, load that shit up!” thats exactly what I get. She starts loading her “pipe” up and I notice both my weed and hers lookin a lil ashy. AND THATS RED FLAG NUMBER THREE

It’s like 11 at night tho and we only had street lights so I didn’t wanna call Susan out and end up lookin a fool if it was nothing. So I just let her do her thing and pull out my lighter so we can make it do what it do ya feel? So we smokin and I’m having a pretty good time. I feel proud of myself and shit for scamming little Mary Ellen and getting a full spark up after my niggas rolled out on me. I’m like “haha bitch you did that and you high as fuck”. Me being the funny nigga I am in my head, I make myself laugh. Then I realize for someone who smokes pretty regularly and only had two hits, I was already shmizzed for some reason. I look over at Peanut & Jelly and both them niggas lookin like

“Already??? Huh, that’s weird”, young nigga Kam thought to himself. But once again it was free weed so I shut my Nancy Drew ass up and let it go. Debra passes the “pipe” to me and I hit it harder this time because I ain’t pay for it so ima get mines. Because I hit it so hard I kinda taste it and bitch, that shit tasted like Mary J. Bliges leather boots and plastic. So I’m like “yo Amanda, what’s good with your bowl the weed taste weird?” And it ain’t like weed has a particularly good taste but I know it damn sure don’t taste like that. Emily proceeds to say “I don’t think anything’s wrong with the weed, might be the other stuff tho” As soon as she said that shady shit Peanut and I’s heads snapped to look at her like “Bitch….what other stuff??”

Jelly at this point is checked the fuck out, like this nigga is walking through space or some shit. That might just be him tho cause that nigga always acts weird when he high smh. That ain’t the point tho. This raggedy Ann ass hoe starts giggling and laughing like someone said something fuckin funny. I’m sitting there confused and high as shit still got the fucking pink wig on, Peanut got her ass riled up and with good reason because we both know we just asked ole girl a question. So Peanut says one more gain “Did you put some shit in the fucking weed?”. By now I think Amber realizes the joke is nay and she’s close to getting stomped out. Here comes the climax of the story y’all. This bitch gon roll her eyes like we being extra and say “lol it’s fine, we just smoked out of my crack pipe and I haven’t cleaned it yet” When I tell you the entire world went silent, I heard SZA wheezing into her microphone miles away. My ass, Peanut ass, and even Jelly incapacitated ass was all like

“…wut?”

Jelly just started laughing like he just heard the funniest thing ever in his whole life. Peanut was staring at Tina like she was preparing her alibi for the police when they find that lil girl’s body. And me, you ask? I was just thinkin bout my girl Whitney. Like sis, is this how it started for you? I was looking at Rachel all hurt. Et tu Becky? All a nigga wanted was some weed and now my ass sitting on a roof high off crack. Suddenly time returns to normal and the only thing my faded ass can muster is a “Pardon me???” Helen continues to chuckle like she Tiffany Haddish up in this bitch and tells us that she smokes crack and weed out of that bowl sometimes, and that we had placed the collective weed in her coke bag. Jelly stupid ass still in the corner laughing to keep from crying because I knew that baby voiced nigga was scared. I’m so astounded at this point that I can’t even drag this wild ass bitch. Peanut however, is not me. Lort I never seen anyone but my momma yolk somebody up so fast! She smooth slid across that asphalt like

Grabbed Ellie, and said “BITCH HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??” and started shaking that bitch like she was tryna give her shaken baby syndrome. Jelly managed to get himself together enough to try and keep his girl from going to jail. What was I doing? Well I knew I had a choice, I could help Peanut throw Taylor off the roof, or I could help Jelly keep our good sis from catchin a charge. So I chose the smartest option. MY ASS STARTED TO HIT FOOT.

That shit wasn’t none of my business no more!! Bitch the link up is over! The deck is DONE. I could already hear my momma belt whoopin my crack head ass in my mind, no thank you ma’am! My black ass was done for the night. As I’m running back towards campus I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around to find Jelly running behind me, dragging Peanut along by the hand. Chloe however, is nowhere to be found. I ain’t stop running tho. Was it fear, was it anger, was it the adrenaline pushing me to run? Nah I was on crack so it was prolly that lol. We run until we’re two blocks away from campus and I’m finally too tired to run, which surprised me because I always assumed crackheads were just like the enegizer bunny. So we’re catching our breath and I’m tryna keep from falling over because I feel hella whoozy, but I manage to ask “What happened to Bobby?” Peanut proceeds to tell me she took one good fist, and dropped Katy like a bad habit. I was proud of sis too because she’s twig thin and I thought she was meek af. We start walking back to the dorms and all 3 of us are just silent. Ain’t nobody got shit to say bitch we on crack. Peanut and I lived 2 doors down from each other so they go in her room and I go in mine after we say our good nights. I go in my room and my roommate is there with his boyfriend. Immediately my roommate is like “lol you’re high af” and my overly trusting ass gon tell him “This girl laced the weed with crack”. This cracker ass bitch gon look at me and say “oh really…..are you ok?” like I just got into a small argument. Like nigga….I GOT LACED WITH CRACK DO I LOOK OK???

So I sit down and start watching videos on my laptop to try and distract myself from my anxiety because a nigga was SHOOKT to the core. My roommate and his boyfriend were just watching me like I was a good ass episode of something. I don’t blame ‘em tho, I looked wild af. I was twitching, teetering, and sweating like shit even though it was late September in upstate New York. Now this fake ass bitch gon take a snapchat video of my crackhead ass trippin and put it on his story for everyone to see. Needless to say after that day ain’t nobody fuck with Molly ever again. One good thing did come out of it tho, Peanut, Jelly, and I became real tight after that. And what became of Becky you ask? She made sure to steer clear of all 3 of us and my friends lol because they threatened to cut that hoe. Moral of the story children? Don’t trust white people.

Her.

This is a soulmate story and completely different to what I usually write about. It took me forever to write but I actually like how it turned out. Let me know what you think and if you would like to read another part. Thank you.xxx

Ouch.
Harry looked down to where it felt like he chopped his whole finger off and huffed when he found his skin flawless. Of course. Of course, it wasn’t him who hurt himself it was her. She was the clumsiest thing he ever met, he swears to-
He actually never met her. And maybe that was exactly why he was so huffy and grumpy all the time and got even more irritated when she didn’t watch where she was going.
She was his soulmate ans she took an awful lot of time to finally get to him. Even though Harry had to admit that he wasn’t too sure if he would be over the moon happy as everyone said he would be when he finally met her.
She was just an awful lot. She was happy when Harry was sad, and when Harry was happy, she was sad.
The fact that he felt her emotions just as strong as his own made him go insane, the doubled trouble too much for him at times. But sometimes it comforted him to know that she felt the same. That she felt him. He loved it when she would rub her own tummy when she felt him mopping around because he felt her rubs and it made him happy. And he loved to kiss over the parts she hurt on his self when he felt the burn on his skin because he knew it made it better for her.
Just how he did now. He kissed over his fingertip three times, a forth time when he still felt her pout.
Yes, he loved her with all his heart even though sometimes he felt like crying frustrated tears when she became too much for him to handle.
The only thing he didn’t love about her was that she took so awfully long to get to him. All his friends already found their other half while he searched for her everyday but she was nowhere to be found.
It didn’t help that she had a boyfriend either. Harry didn’t knew why she needed a boyfriend when she,(he’ll stop with the annoying stressing on ‘she’ now even though he felt the need to express that she wasn’t just any she), when she had him. It broke his heart over and over again when he felt her boyfriend kissing her because only Harry was supposed to do that. Harry didn’t understand why she needed a boyfriend when she sent an ‘I love you’ to Harry every night before she fell asleep.
When Harry told his mum that he was able to communicate with her her jaw dropped to the floor and she gushed about how special that was and while they already were soulmates they had an even more special connection than others. Harry believed it was just because it took so long and their souls craved each other so they had to find a way to overcome the distance.
While they were only able to communicate in the morning and at night it was enough because he had the time to tell her that he loved her and longed for her and needed her and so much more. But it still wasn’t enough because even though it was nice to hear her telling him how much she loved him every day he wanted to see her lips wrapping around the words before he wrapped his lips around hers. He wanted to be able to hold her and have her hold him and be with her. Even though he knew he had forever with her he needed forever to start as soon as possible.


Y/N was just as desperate to find him even though she had a boyfriend. She liked her boyfriend but didn’t love him because there was only one person she could ever love. But because she hasn’t found him yet she needed a distraction so the hole in her chest couldn’t grow any more and eventually swallow her whole.
She loved him so much already. So, so much. Even though she wouldn’t admit it she was dependent on him already, she lived for the ‘I love you’s he sent her and his kisses when she hurt herself.
Just like now, she felt the gentle pressure of his pillowy lips against her fingertip and just like every time it happened she just wanted to feel his lips against hers. She just wanted him here with her.
Harry felt her pain just like always. It didn’t matter if it was physical pain or emotional pain, he felt it. He closed his eyes with frustration but not because she annoyed him, no. Because he wished he could take that pain away from her. Make her forget she ever felt lonely.
He sent her a ‘Soon, my love.’, and hoped she heard him because somehow it was still morning even though it was 11:13.
'Soon isn’t soon enough.’ he received back and smiled softly in agreement.
'We’ll find each other. I promise.’ Oh, how he wished he could send her a hug as well.
“Promise to love me too?”
“More than anything.”

It was the longest conversation they ever had. Harry had a feeling it was because their connection grew stronger with each day. Maybe that meant they’ll meet each other soon?


When it happened nothing could have prepared Harry for the feeling he felt when their eyes met for the very first time. The whole world stopped and he saw nothing but her. She was beautiful. So incredibly beautiful. Her eyes had the color of melted chocolate and Harry loved melted chocolate. Her lips were plump and full, their color reminded him of strawberries and when he thought about strawberries with melted chocolate he felt like he could cry.
When Y/N’s eyes landed on him it was like time stood still and nothing existed but him. And her. Together. His eyes had an ocean like color and Y/N loved the ocean. His lips were plump and perfectly shaped, their color reminded her of raspberries and when she thought about a day by the ocean with raspberries she felt like she could cry.
They pushed through the people who were in their way until they reached each other, both not looking away for a single second.
“My love.” Harry cried and reached out to touch her skin.
She closed her eyes when he touched her, overwhelmed by the love she felt for the man standing in front of her. The love radiating of of him.
Harry pulled her to him, wrapping her in a tight hug. Y/N nuzzled her face into his neck, kissing his shoulder a few times. She liked the way he smelled, like fresh laundry and a tad bit of perfume.
Harry loved the way she wrapped around him perfectly, she was made for him. Just for him, he knew it.
“What’s your name?” he asked her quietly, pulling back a bit to look into her eyes and a new wave of love for her hit him when he saw her loving gaze.
“Y/N.” she told him.
“Y/N.” he repeated in awe.
“Beautiful. I’m Harry.”
“Harry.” she whispered and stroked over his cheek.
God, she loved him. Her eyes wandered over his face, trying to memorize every little detail. He was handsome. So incredibly handsome. Actually, handsome wasn’t the right adjective to describe him. Beautiful. Yeah, beautiful seemed to fit better.
Harry watched her, how her eyes ran over his features. Under any other circumstances he would have felt uncomfortable if someone would have looked at him so intently but it was her and he loved the way she looked at him. He loved it because her eyes held love and adoration.
Harry was sure that she was the most beautiful woman to ever walk the earth. She was absolutely and completely perfect. And she was his. Well, not exactly…
Y/N watched with concern how the smile left his face and a frown took over his features.
“Hey, what’s going on?” she asked him gently and grabbed onto his hands, frowning herself when she felt his big rings which blocked her from feeling his fingers thread through hers, blocked her from feeling his skin against hers.
“Will you come home with me? So we can talk?” he questioned almost shyly, squeezing her hands so she knew he was alright.
“Of course.” she nodded without a hint of hesitation.
He might still be a stranger but she loved him and she had no worries about going home with him.


Once they arrived Harry made them both some tea,taking his time with the process. Y/N couldn’t help but notice the change in his demeanor, how the happiness from earlier seemed to be completely gone and replaced with… frustration?
She also couldn’t help the horrible thought that took over her mind. Her worst nightmares of her soulmate not being happy with her. Not loving her. What if Harry had a completely different idea of his other half? What if she wasn’t enough for him?
“Y-You’re not happy that you met me, right?” she asked shakily.
Harry whirled around with shock, he felt like someone just punched him in the throat . She might as well have.
“What? Darling, no.” he shook his head vehemently and rushed over to her, hugging her tightly to his chest.
“No, no, no.” he whimpered and kissed her forehead over and over again.
“Don’t ever think that. You hear me?”
“Then what’s going on? You seem like something is bothering you. Something about me.” she searched his eyes but found no answer.
It was crazy because now that she actually was with him she couldn’t feel his emotions anymore. At least not the way she did before.
“Yeah…” Harry admitted somewhat ashamed.
“Yeah? What is it?” she begged to know and almost lost her mind when Harry pulled away from her.
“It’s just… You have a boyfriend and… I don’t know what to do with that.”
She starred at him for a few moments. This time she was in shock. He knew that? And why did he think of it when she hasn’t thought about her boyfriend for a single second since she met Harry?
“How do you…” she trailed off but she didn’t need to finish her sentence.
“I feel it. I feel it every time he kisses you because it breaks my heart. And I also feel it when you do… other things. Feels like someone rips my heart out then.”
“Harry… I’m sorry. But I’m sure you had a girlfriend before as well, so-”
“No, I haven’t.” he shook his head.
“You haven’t?” she asked disbelievingly.
“No. Why should I want a girlfriend who could never make me happy when the love of my life is waiting for me?”
“Harry…” she sighed.
“I mean I know that people have relationships before they meet their other half but I just never wanted that. I want to discover everything that comes with love with you and nobody else. I hoped my soulmate would feel the same.”
“Do you really think I love him?”
“I feel the butterflies whenever you look at him, love.” he smiled sadly.
“I like him. And he’s important to me. But that’s it. There’s only one person I will ever be able to love and that’s you.”
“But… but when you know that why do you need him?” he asked her.
“Because I’m lonely. I hate being on my own. I always hated that empty feeling in my chest and knowing that only one person on this whole planet could fill that empty space… I felt hopeless.”
He understood her, he did. But then again, he didn’t. Didn’t she know that he felt exactly the same? He felt empty and lonely but he knew that anyone who wasn’t her couldn’t take those feelings away from him.
What he really couldn’t understand was how she could catch feelings for her boyfriend. He always thought it wasn’t possible for someone to fall in love with anyone but their soulmate. And she was in love with her boyfriend even if she wouldn’t admit it.
“You love him.” Harry stated.
“Harry, I don’t. I love you. You.
“But you love him too.”
She sighed with frustration and walked over to where he was standing, taking his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her.
“He’s important to me but I don’t love him. I never could.”
She gave Harry a chance to prostest again but his mouth remained shut.
“Now can we please stop fighting about this? I never thought I’d fight with you the first time I meet you.”
Harry nodded and sighed, she was right.
“I love you, okay? Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“I love you too.” Harry mumbled and pulled her closer to him, flush against his chest with his arms around her waist.
Y/N threaded her fingers through his short curls, scratching lightly against his scalp because she knew how much Harry loved that. She pressed a kiss to the shell of his ears, smiling softly at the grateful hum she received.
She pulled back a bit to look at him, stroking his cheeks tenderly and admiring the way his eyes closed with the pleasure of having her here with him.
“Harry…” she whispered softly.
“Hm?”
“I want to kiss you.”
His eyes opened immediately, his nerves evident. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
He hasn’t thought about that yet. He never kissed someone before. What if he messes up completely? What if he’s so bad that she doesn’t want him anymore?
What if… he isn’t as good as her boyfriend?
“We d-don’t have to if that’s t-to fast for you. We can take it slow.” she stuttered.
“No! No, no, no. Of course I want to kiss you. But… it’s just… you’re my first. And I don’t want to mess up.” he shrugged shyly.
“Harry, you could never mess up. You kissed my forehead earlier, right? S'just the same only on the lips.”
Harry nodded and thought for a moment. He could do it, right?
He pulled her as close as he possibly could, one hand on the side of her face and the other one squeezing her waist. Y/N cupped his face in her own hands, stroking over his raspberry pink lips that she noticed immediately when her eyes landed on him for the first time earlier. They were soft to the touch and she could feel a light layer of chapstick.
And then she leaned in. First she rubbed the tip of her nose against his before she tilted her head to the side and captured his bottom lip between hers. The kiss was soft and loving, letting him get used to the feeling of being kissed before she fastened her lips to his again and let them linger, humming softly when she felt him kiss her back. With the next one she licked over his bottom lip with her tongue, motioning for him to open for her and he did, moaning when her tongue licked over his. She pressed a few more pecks against his lips before pulling back, chuckling softly when he whined at the loss.
He opened his eyes and saw her gentle smile that showed nothing but pure happiness. Her eyes were sparkling and he could see the love in them. This was just what he wanted. What he’s been waiting for all his life.
“Was I any good?” he asked sheepishly when he felt his cheeks heating up from her intense gaze.
“You were perfect. Best kiss I ever had.” she reassured him, pecking his lips again to prove her point.
“Love your kisses.” he admitted shyly.
Y/N didn’t think it could be possible for someone to be smoking hot but adorably cute at the same time. And he was her soulmate. How lucky was she?!
“I love kissing you.” she whispered before touching her lips to his again.
“Does it…” he started but shook his head, deciding against asking her the question that burnt on his tongue.
“What, hm?” she asked him and grabbed one of his hands to somehow make him feel more confident.
“Does it feel the same when you kiss your boyfriend?”
He shouldn’t have asked. He knew it when she sighed that he shouldn’t have asked. God, he was stupid.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha-”
“It doesn’t. It doesn’t compare to this. Not at all. When I kiss you I feel butterflies and fireworks and tingles and like… like I’m on top of the world. I don’t feel that with my boyfriend.”
Harry nodded relieved, even though that was his first kiss he could make her feel like that. And no one else could, no matter how much practice they had.
He guided her mouth to his, kissing her this time. It was a warm peck that made Y/N shudder and Harry couldn’t help but press against her more due to that reaction.

They moved to Harry’s couch then, kissing and giggling and declaring their love to each other. They were so happy. So incredibly happy that they were sure their hearts were going to burst any second. It was perfect. So perfect that Harry was sure nothing could destroy this moment…
“Will you stay the night?” he asked her in a whisper, watching how she lifted her head from his chest, stroking a tot of hair behind her ear.
“I can’t, Harry.” she sighed sadly, biting her lips when she saw his face fall.
“I need to feed my cat and Matthew is probably already worried about me.” she explained, frowning when his face fell even more.
“Can’t you text him? He can feed your cat, no?”
“He doesn’t have a key to my apartment.”
Harry sighed defeated and turned his head to look at the ceiling.
“Harry…” Y/N sighed sadly and sat up to look at him.
“We’ll get breakfast tomorrow, yeah? You can come over tomorrow and I’ll prepare us some pancakes and smoothies and everything you love.”
“I just… I don’t want to go back to being without you.” Harry mumbled.
“I don’t either. But only for tonight okay?”
Harry sighed but nodded, his heart feeling heavy in his chest at the thought of her leaving him.
“Are you going to talk to him? Tell him about us?” he asked in a hopeful tone.
He just wanted her to break up with her boyfriend and forget about him completely. Even though she reassured Harry over and over again that she only loved him, he didn’t like that boy one bit.
“Y-Yeah.”
“Promise?”
She nodded and smiled softly before Harry leaned up and kissed her lips again and again, so long until she really had to leave.
She gave him her number and countless kisses before she rushed out his door with an 'I love you!’.
Harry wasn’t as happy as he thought he would be. He always thought that once he met his other half everything would fall into place and finally make sense. That he would feel secure and safe but that wasn’t the case at all. He never felt so insecure before.
He felt her again when she was far enough away from him, felt her nerves and worries.
And he felt it when her boyfriend came over and she kissed him. He felt it more intense than before he met her and he hated it. Hated it that she still got butterflies in her tummy and leaned in for another kiss after she kissed Harry. How could she?
And he knew she didn’t talk to him because an hour later he could feel her having sex with her boyfriend. Making love to another man.
Cheating on him.
What was Harry supposed to do with that?

The Value Of Just Shutting The Fuck Up Sometimes


A few weeks ago, I was doing an interview with a reporter and she was asking about almost every weird GamerGate conspiracy theory that had come up about me in the last few years. I’ve honestly forgotten more of them than I remembered at this point. She didn’t seem to understand why I’d never addressed most of the accusations which had ranged from whose dick I touched to literally murdering people. She said in researching me for the piece, she’d only ever found the weirdo accusations but not my version of events, and seemed to not understand why I wouldn’t just say what actually did or didn’t happen.

I can’t blame her for being curious. I think whenever we hear something wild, especially about someone or something we care about, we want to know answers. Lord knows if you’re the one being lied about, it’s a natural impulse to want to set the record straight or give your side of anything.

Sadly, that’s extremely short sighted. No one thinks about what might happen next.

It’s been over three years of being accused of all kinds of shit from all kinds of people, and if I’ve learned nothing else, I’ve learned the importance of restraint and the responsibility that comes with having a large platform and gigantic visibility. It makes me feel like a kaiju where any small movement could potentially tip over a building. I’ve written a bunch in my book about how engaging with bad-faith accusations and signal boosting them just to refute them can easily backfire and ingrain false information in people’s minds even further. That can sometimes just come down to a math problem - if someone with an audience of 50 makes up a rumor about you, if you respond to it with your audience of 500, more people are going to see the false stuff than would otherwise. To complicate matters, there are enough people out there who think that even refuting something at all makes you look guilty. There are people who want you to be guilty because they already don’t like you. Frequently, bad-faith accusations will not be addressed by proof to the contrary, because you can’t reason someone out of something they didn’t reason themselves into in the first place. People are complicated.

But when you put your side of anything out there, the thing that comes next isn’t usually “oh, okay”. The thing that comes next is usually escalation. It’s people digging into shit trying to prove you wrong. It’s invasive, and it can have so much collateral damage.

For example, when people ask me why I didn’t address my ex’s claims about who I did and didn’t sleep with, even when I had the floor, I get why they’d ask. My own desire to keep some remaining shred of my privacy aside, those claims aren’t just about me. I’ve been accused of sleeping with people I haven’t ever really talked to, people who are pretty private in general who just want to be left the hell alone. I don’t have the right to drag them back into a messy situation that involves probably getting stalked and yelled at by nazis just to try and save my own skin, especially since it’s more likely than not that people are just going to believe whatever they want to anyway. Or maybe that’s me being cynical after watching years of people claiming that I fucked someone for a review I never got from a website I already had written for in the past. I honestly have, I think understandably, lost a bit of perspective on that particular point.

This is especially complicated by situations like mine, because I am under constant surveillance by people who hate my guts who are looking for people to hurt, and people looking to feed on “drama”, and people looking for new targets. If you think that’s being dramatic, there are places I know of that have threads specifically about stalking me *to this day* with literally thousands of posts in them. Bad faith actors aside, my audience is in the hundreds of thousands. The responsibility that comes with that is something I take extremely seriously.
It’s something that I encourage everyone else with big online platforms to take extremely seriously too. I think a lot of us internet famous folks ended up here without really trying to, and it’s easy to feel like “well I didn’t ask for this and it’s not my fault if something happens” and while, yeah, sure, you can’t take responsibility for the actions of other people (especially people who are super out there and just looking to hurt someone regardless of whatever you’re doing), I see no reason to not try to minimize harm. A power dynamic doesn’t cease to exist just because you didn’t explicitly seek that power out, or maybe didn’t even want it in the first place. People who have less resources than you will still have less resources than you regardless of how you feel about it.

When there’s a significant power differential at play, there’s harm algebra to be done when it comes to addressing disinformation. It’s not as simple as “just setting the record straight” in public, because once you make something public you give up a certain degree of control that you cannot get back. It might mean putting someone who is already hurting or has so much less than me in more harm than I’d ever face by just taking the reputation hit.

Sometimes there’s situations where I just have to take it on the chin, because nothing happens in a vacuum. Sometimes I just have to let it go, no matter how much it fucking sucks to have people out there tearing into you for reasons that really have very little to do with you, because the collateral damage is too much on too many people to justify any potential repairs to my reputation.

Honestly, it’s really not worth it to me to escalate a situation just to make a frequently pointless attempt at getting people to be more critical of the wild shit they read about me online, especially when it means probably hurting someone else. It’s been years and I still don’t know how to navigate a lot of this. I’ve tried so much already - talking about bigger stuff, proving what actually happened, attempting to prove negatives, responding only with screenshots of fighting game win screens. It’s not like people making shit up about me, regardless of motivation, is a novel occurrence in my life. It’s not like I’ve made the right call all the time - I’ve arrived at this method of dealing with shit after making a lot of *wrong* calls. I’ve been pretty open about being a bad fit for being a public figure of any sort - I was (and still feel) vastly unprepared to handle being a weird symbol to so many people who want all kinds of things from me regardless of if they need a villain or a hero or a symbol of whatever the fuck.

Frankly I can’t live my life around playing whack a mole with whatever new horseshit slithers out of the corners of the internet on any given day that ends in Y, because when I was trying to do that it really almost cost me my life.

A fun side effect of being a survivor of domestic violence is how easy it is to slip back into doubting your own life and experiences to a hyperbolic degree. A fun side effect of depression is feeling like everything you say and do is bad and wrong and that you’re worthless on a regular basis. A fun side effect of my PTSD is flashing back to being in that fucking elevator shaft when GamerGate started and I couldn’t sleep or eat and was convinced everyone would turn on me and I’d be alone forever any time some conspiracy comes up that hits me at just the right angle that it gets under my armor.

But I know that’s squarely out of my control. All I can do is manage what I do with that. I don’t know what else to do other than seek external advice from people smarter than me when something comes up that really gets under my skin or makes me doubt my own version of events even when I damn well know something didn’t happen to help counter the trashbrain filter that the disinformation comes in through because having those issues doesn’t let me off of any hooks. I don’t want to use any of that, or even my status as someone who is frequently targeted with shit that I’m too exhausted to type out so just picture me gesturing vaguely at everything to absolve me of anything. I don’t ever want to think I’m above reproach, so I check in with people around me who will be honest and call me on my shit. When I do fuck up, and I do because I’m a human in an extremely weird fucking situation, I do whatever seems like the right thing to do, not the face-saving thing to do. Sometimes, this is shit that’s done in private. I don’t know why people assume everything has to be handled extremely online. But overwhelmingly more often than not, shit is maliciously made up, and more often than not the only right move that will de-escalate shit and hurt the least amount of people is just letting it go and praying that people will see through it, or they’ll actually talk to me if they see some wild accusation. And if people wanted to look for reasons to think the worst and get the knives out immediately, honestly, I feel extremely done with anyone looking to build people up only to gleefully tear them back down. I’m tired and I’ve watched too many communities devour themselves to want any part of that, and am only interested in working toward a future that’s centered on restorative justice instead of exclusively punitive systems in different settings. I’m tired of enthusiastic disposibility masquerading as community. All that behavior says to me is that I was never safe around you in the first place.  

I know I’m taking a gigantic risk in even posting this to begin with because I know it’s an uncomfortable subject, but it feels like a bigger, longer-term risk to watch my comrades, siblings, and friends all scared and lost on either side of the power dynamic - both as people who have grievances with people with gigantic platforms, and as people who have gained both visibility and the jealousy and hatefollows that come with it. I’m tired of talking about this stuff in dms with other scared people who don’t know what to do. And by no means do I think this is the only way to deal with any of this - this is just how I feel, and how I approach being someone who went from being some random weirdo to being a cultural football. Your mileage may vary. Hopefully I figure out a way that’s less dehumanizing, and if I do, I’ll be sure and let you know. But again, I’m a random weirdo game developer. I’m figuring this shit out as I go, and I lean into my skids and wear my heart on my sleeve and if y'all want to throw me in the trash over being aggressively vulnerable and human at you, that’s ok. You don’t have to like me or support me, and I like trash anyway.

Shit’s pretty fucked up in the world right now (duh), but the very least we can do is really interrogate how and what we use our varying degrees of reach and visibility for. We have to see ourselves as part of something larger and look at our impact instead of just our intentions. For me, sometimes that means that being right doesn’t mean a damn thing and is unrelated to doing the right thing. Sometimes, for me, that means knowing when to just shut the fuck up and let people think what they’re gonna think. And if nothing else, I’ve seen that on a long enough timeline, people tend to figure out who makes shit up without my involvement.

So I’m only gonna say all of this once, here, so that I never have to say it again and I can point at it any time I’m asked to weigh in on something someone said about me on the internet, because god damn I’m tired and I’d rather spend my time and effort trying to help people and make dope shit than fuss about what people think they know about me.