my pc is supposed to be fine now

Requested - Can you do an imagine with Alec and you’re scared and tell him somewhere along the lines like “ every time someone walks out the institute, there’s a chance that they might not make it back” and he tells you that everything will be fine?

Ps, I was too lazy to make a GIF.

The Clave sent out and authorized missions on a daily basis, this was something you should have been used to by now, but it still made you uncomfortable and gave you the most horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach every time you seen your friends walk over the runed floor towards the weapons. Training was something that every shadowhunter got, it was like being subjected to a drill sergeant from a young age, all with the main goal to prepare everyone for the inevitable day when they’d be called upon by the clave to kill demons. It was a shadowhunters job after all.  

No amount of runes could ever make you coordinated enough, failing almost every combat test that was put to you. Fighting just wasn’t your thing, which was unusual for a shadowhunter, it was what you were supposed to do. Born to do, but you just didn’t have it in you. So you’d always stay inside the institute walls when the demon fighting or vampire control missions came into play. The tech stuff and the tracking from behind a computer screen, that was more your thing. 

You sat in your usual spot, behind your desk and watched as Izzy, Alec and Jace all suited up into the usual demon fighting attire, usually leather themed and black. Typical. Izzy wrapped her whip around her slim wrist, Jace picked up two seraph blades and swung them around gracefully, feeling out the weight of each one. Alec tucked a smaller seraph blade, more like a dagger into his jacket as he grabbed his bow and quiver, admiring them briefly before turning around and heading over in your direction. It was more than a little embarrassing to you that nearly every shadowhunter present in this institute what seriously deadly and intimidating with a weapon in their hands and you couldn’t even walk down the street without tripping over air. Well all except Max, but he was nine. No doubt that would happen eventually. 

“Y/N, do you have a location?” Alec walked over to you and glared at your computer screen.  You debated whether or not to give him the information that had come through, the last time the clave sent through a mission two shadowhunters came back an iratze’s or two away from death. Demon’s were deadly, you knew that. But they’d been getting stronger and more organised lately with Valentine back on the scene. And with him back, every instinct in your body was saying every shadowhunter should be back in Idris behind the wards. But of course, the Nephilim were created for one purpose. To protect the mundanes from the shadow world. And that meant Demons, and lots of them. They were like daisies, they just kept springing up out of nowhere. 

“Yes.” you nodded in reply, but kept your mouth tightly sealed in a grim frown. Alec leaned against your desk and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting expectantly with one dark eyebrow raised. You did your best to ignore his presence but giving the sheer height of him it was difficult to do when he loomed over your work space. 

“What are we waiting for?” Jace appeared behind Alec, clapping him on the shoulder, a tone of sheer excitement in his voice.

“Y/N, she wont tell me where in New York exactly we’re being sent.” Alec replied. 

“Share with the group” Jace leaned over your shoulder to take a look at your screen. 

“Manhattan.” You answered dryly. 

“Care to be a little more specific?” Alec prompted, you could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of your head.

“An industrial estate just past fourmile point. Right beside the Hudson River.”  you sighed heavily, turning to watch as Jace practically ran out of the institute doors, Izzy not far behind him. 

“What’s up with you?” Alec asked, still leaning against the desk. You could still feel his gaze but you didn’t want to turn to face it. 

“Nothing, i just wish they could send members of the clave out to deal with this stuff now.” you shrugged. 

“Why would they send someone from Idris to deal with demons in New York, when we have the institute right here. And trained shadowhunters.” Alec’s voice was full of amusement at the idea. 

“Because there is not that many uninjured shadowhunters left in the New York institute now.” you bit back defensively. “Maybe you guys deserve a break from all of this.” you finished your train of thought with a softer tone, the harshness gone now. 

“You’re worried about us?” the amusement was still clear in Alec’s voice, which pissed you off a little, he could tell from the look that you shot him and immediately he switched his tactics. “We fight demons all the time y/n, it’s not a big deal.” 

“Well that’s easy for you to say, that you do it all the time. Claire and Oscar do it all the time too, didn’t stop them from getting their asses kicked last week. They barely made it back here in one piece.” 

“That was a one off…” Alec tried to argue with you but you just raised your hand to signal he could stop talking. 

“I get scared every time one of these missions come through, and i’m not going to apologize for that. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want my friends to stay alive.” 

“We’ll be fine.” Alec sighed, standing up from his slouched position and resting his hand on your shoulder, squeezing tightly for a moment in a gesture you assumed was supposed to be comforting. “Everything’s gonna be ok. Wait and see we’ll be back here in no time, with Jace bragging about how many demons he’s killed now.” you just nodded your head in response and pretended to be busy with something in front of you on the pc. You needed the distraction, it was the only way you’d survive the next however many hours waiting on their return. At least if they thought you were busy, you’d not have to admit that you paced around the stone floors, until the institute doors opened again and those three walked through them.