my parents were the greatest

anonymous asked:

What's one of the carziest, but most fun, things you've ever done?

Ok, here’s the story of the first (and only) true prank I’ve ever pulled on anyone.


When I was 7, I really, really, really didn’t get along with my middle sister (she was 11). I hated her, actually. She played the Miss Perfect role when my parents were around and she was the greatest bitch ever to me when we were alone.
One day, we got into a fight that went so far that she threatened to throw my plushie out of a window (it was a big deal for me, I was a kid).

Of course, I told her I would tell the parents about this if she went all the way with her threat so she backed down. But I knew. I knew this lil bitch would have thrown my plushie away.

So of course, OF COURSE, I needed to get revenge.

So I waited for her to get out of her room and try to watch the French equivalent of American Idol and I went into her room.
What. could I. possibly. steal from her? Something valuable, but not too much, something she couldn’t live without though. Something no one would think I would steal.


I stole her mattress.

Now, I don’t know if you know about this, but I’m short. Really short. And at the time, I was even shorter. Super short.
And I weighted, what, 50lb tops? I was just a little shrimp.

Only fuelled by resentment and loathing towards my sister, I lifted her huge mattress. It weighted more than me. I didn’t care. I dragged it across the house until finally I got the idea to hide it in the basement, in a little room no one ever went to.

Innocent like an angel, I got back to my room and waited.

No more than 10 minutes later, I hear my sister scream “WHERE IS MY BED”, and then a few seconds later “ADRIEN”. Everything was going just as planned.

I got out of my room and innocently asked her “What is it, @?”
“My mattress is missing, and I know you’re responsible for this!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Pissed off, she went to see my parents.
“ADRIEN STOLE MY MATTRESS!”
They laughed her off.
“I’M SERIOUS, MY BED IS MISSING AND HE’S THE ONE WHO DID IT!”

My father, completely exasperated because he was trying to focus on our American Idol show, finally decided to check her room.
Indeed, the bed was missing.
“See? Adrien took it!
- Oh, don’t be silly, @, look at him, he’s too little to lift that huge thing. Stop accusing him”

At the same moment, I was behind my dad, sticking out my tongue to my sister. She was losing her mind.

My dad went to get my mother so she could as well note that my sister’s mattress was missing.
“Maybe a thief really did steal it?
-Don’t be absurd, who would steal a mattress? Plus, this is the second floor. No one can get here anyway else than by the stairs.”

I was gloating. As my parents were debating of the supposed fate of the mattress, my sister desperately wanted to sleep and she knew I stole her mattress. She couldn’t do anything about it. Eventually, she ended up sleeping in a sleeping bag, on the floor of her room. I couldn’t be happier.

The day after that, my mother suggested we look in the house to find the mattress if it was still here.

But no one suspected me.

So, in the middle of the next night, I went down to the basement, lifted the mattress again and dragged it to our court, where there was a lot of building stuff. In a dark corner, I hid the mattress under a blue tarpaulin where we had put things under before.

They looked for the mattress for 3 days then gave up and bought a new one 3 other days later. My sister hated me more than ever. I was a tiny evil genius.


They found the mattress 4 months later, and it was full of mould. I was never suspected and my sister got grounded for not taking care of her things.