my otp is better than yours

Shared house traits

Gryffindor & Hufflepuff
-sweet summer child
-close, intimate, heartbreak mending hugs
-giggles “that’s what she said”
-likelihood you’ll fall in love with them +9999999%
-probably still owns a stuffed toy

Ravenclaw & Slytherin
-already wrote an encyclopedia on all the ways they’re better than you
-judging you not-so-silently
-“my words are both poison and exilir. tempt me, if you dare.”
-intimidating at first bUT THEYRE ACTUAL CINNAMON ROLLS
-“aw you didn’t have to do that!-…what do you want?”
-too many trust issues, someone just HUG THEM

Gryffindor & Ravenclaw
-already stalked you on all your social media accounts
-board games. video games. gaaames. 
-always has a mess. somehow knows where everything is. 
-BUSY. friends, hobbies, school/work, internet til 2am, busy.
-PUNS

Slytherin & Hufflepuff
-knows who they will search for first during the apocalypse
-“i trust you with my life. don’t let me down”
-literally gives the best first impressions
-it’s actually a little scary how much they could be hiding
-work, work, work, workwork

Hufflepuff & Ravenclaw
-“god you’re so fucking weird and i love it”
-that friend who never yells at anyone until they do and everyone is terrified
-my otp is better than yours
-“rules were not made to be broken unless i say so”
-happier when all is peaceful and quiet

Gryffindor & Slytherin
-“NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN YOU CALM DOWN”
-that friend that shares all the hot selfies they find. (bless them)
-has never made a good decision after 2am
-*loses something* *blames it on you* *finds it 2min later with their stuff*
-selfie game too strong

  • Hermione: Guys, I'm not sure you're allowed to do that.
  • George: Don't worry about it.
  • Hermione: But it's against the rules!
  • Fred: Don't worry love, we have permission. *hands her a piece of paper*
  • Hermione: This is just a scrap of paper that says "we do what we want".
  • Draco: *seductively* Show me the restricted section, Mr. Potter
  • Harry: *oblivious* Can do. *grabs lamp and invisibility cloak*
why isn’t teacher/teacher more popular???????????????? i mean
  • the nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck
  • but later (not in school environment maybe by accident) the students (a group of them) see that the strict one isn’t really that strict and they love their partner
  • or the cool married teachers that talk about each other and everyone loves like one of them comes late to class and is like “sorry i’m late guys mx. [partner] is really sick and i wanted to be sure everything is alright”
  •  and the students spend 5 minutes fussing over the other teacher and asking questions about their wellbeing “ARE THEY DYING” “No Joey they’ve just caught a cold” [and trying to make this one forget about their class”
  • or two teachers that EVERYBODY ships like the students are trying to get them together
  • “Soo, Mx. A, Mx. B will have a concert tomorrow for the school and they need all the help and they asked me to tell you….so you can tell other students” “Mx. B didn’t tell me anything about it” “oh it was like, last moment thing you know. they didn’t have time. and like, they really need help.”
  • And the teacher is like “Thanks Johnson” and trying to be really cool but REALLY BEING NOT COOL OMG WHERE’S THE SQUAD OF DUCKLINGS TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO GO AND HELP
  • and like other teachers shipping them too
  • “Mx. A you know about the prom. There’s a rule that the teachers must have some partners too” [dunno if it already is something like this, it is not in my country] “I did not know about this rule.” “Oh it’s very recent. So, you know, teachers are never alone and can be protected in case it’s necessary. I also heard that Mx. B has no partner.”
  • OPPOSITE TEACHERS????
  • Like, science/maths teachers with art/languages teacher. Or stuff like this.
  • Talking about their subject passionately and the other not understanding shit but loving it anyway because they’re so fucking cute.
  • RIVAL TEACHERS?????? 
  • Like here is your impossible love
  • Teachers of the same subject in different schools fighting in competitions and shit
  • Or teachers of the same subject talking passionately about their course. and praising each other.
  • Teachers talking about their students, the bad ones and the cool ones
  • LGBT teachers standing up for LGBT students and offering them support and helping them feel more at ease in this clusterfuck of school
  • MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE:
  • OTP 1 teacher/teacher and OTP 2 student/student
  • OTP 2 being so thankful that OTP 1 exists. OTP 1 giving advice to OTP 2.
  • DOMESTIC TEACHER/TEACHER
  • Grading stuff together. Bringing each other food/beverages. Helping each other through all the stuff.
  • AND
  • SO
  • MUCH
  • MORE
  • SERIOUSLY PEOPLE THINK ABOUT IT.
  • TEACHER/TEACHER

BONUS!!

  • “hey darling, how about you teach me some things? I promise to be good.”
  • “i thought you went through high-school once. Weren’t you taught my subject?”
  • seriously tho all that stuff that is at teacher/student can be sort of roleplay for teacher/teacher (and be less creepy)
  • Draco: I hate you with every inch of my being, Potter.
  • Harry: I hope that's more inches than your thing that makes beings.
  • Ron: *looks up from food* GUYS. WE ARE EATING.

the worst thing about trying to decide to read a fic:

-horrible writing.

-the summary is good but the story is written in a different language or is badly written.

-opening it to find no spaces between the paragraphs.

-both your otp and notp is tagged and you have no clue if you want to take a risk or not.

-tagged major character death and you start sweating.

-hasn’t been updated in 80 years but the summary is on point and their the best fucking writer ever.

-you start reading only to find that the person updates every ten years and you just happened to catch them on a day they finally updated.

-you find a writer and check them out, only to find out they mostly write about your notp - and of course they always update, have perfect writing and have stories that are epic.

-stories with so many fucking tags, you just shake your head and move on.

-the “i suck at summaries please check it out still” and you just, pause because it has your otp and you debate whether or not to take the risk.

-you find a pairing you never considered before and think holy shit, that could be hot and spend all day hunting through the tag.

-you ship a pairing so fucking hard, only to find like two fics and you start weeping.

-when you find a perfect story only to check the tags and see some weird shit that disgusts you and you scream why.

-a fic with good writing and summary but it’s so short or is only fan-art.

-a crossover fic where you have both of your fandoms but don’t have both of otps, just one.

-one shots that are so good you wish they were longer.

-when your notp is tagged but it’s labeled as a past relationship or says your otp is endgame, and you have to go through the notp’s awkward breakup in order for your otp to happen.

-when someone doesn’t tag properly and a plot twist hits you and you want to cry.

-you finally find a great fic that has been updated and the last update says writes block, personal issues- can’t do this, asks for co-writer, discontinues it or says lol i hate how this is turning out, deleting.

-when a writer as twenty stories to update and you cry because you like all of them and you have to wait.

-when you remember a story from like five years ago and you search for it, only to find it’s been deleted or can’t seem to find it anywhere.

-when a writer gives you an update schedule and you’re excited because they follow it but then they start missing it and you just…

-when a writer deletes a story and rewrites the same story but you like the original better.

-when your reading a story about a rare pairing that interests and your otp hate each other or just friends and it’s just so weird to read.

-when one half of your otp is in another relationship and the other half shows up with someone else and then you remember, right i’m not reading a story about my otp so i can’t get mad.

-when your otp is popular but it’s not as popular as another ship in the fandom and you hate how the other ship as so much more stories than your ship.

-when you try to read an ot3 relationship because it has two characters you love but the other character is usually from your notp and you hate when your notp share moments.

-when you beg an author (usually one where they aren’t in the fandom really) to write more stories about your otp and they say maybe and it never happens.

-when the writer literally shits on your favorite character and you can’t go through it anymore.

-when your otp isn’t the main pairing and you don’t really care about the other pairings in the story and skip to your otp parts.

-when a story has a million words and it’s so good and you know that you will spend all day and night reading it until your eyes hurt.

-when a story have 200 parts to it and you lose all hope after a while because the story is dragging.

-when your otp is going through something and so many stories are filled with angst, fluff and hurt that it makes you cry because yup, i need to read about my pain for my otp.

-when the writer refuses to write the smut you been waiting for and your otp is stuck in unresolved tension mode forever.

-when the writer unexpected changes the story’s events and you are disappointed by the direction.

-when you find a great au and the characters are so out of character… it makes you sad.

-when you open a fic only to find you hate the point of view and you scream.

-when you request a prompt and the author writes it but you are disappointed and just smile through the pain.

-when you have such a good idea in your head and you try to write it but it’s so bad that you delete it and cry, hoping someone else writes the brilliant idea that you had.

-when you don’t ship something anymore but see a great plot and you click the story and take a deep breath - because shit is about to go down.

-when you reading a great story but get distracted and skip some parts, shit goes down in between and then you think fuck, and have to start over.

-when it’s tagged “slow burn” and you say i can do this and it’s chapter 30 and my ship still hate each other like what.

-when the author says this is their first time writing smut and you think on god they better do this right - only to find out they writing eight pages on your otp making love. like yes.

-when the smut is so rushed or improper you feel cheated and log off because done. like so done.

-when it’s tagged “everyone lives” and your eyes water because that’s all you ever wanted in life.

-when the author leaves a cliffhanger and says in the author’s note “lol sorry about the cliffhanger, i’ll update soon”. you ain’t sorry, stop lying.

-when you see that the story is complete and do a happy dance, only to realize that it ended badly or the sequel/series hasn’t been updated.

OTP Things:

1. “You can’t be mean, because I cook the food…and I could technically poison you.”

2. “DON’T FLUSH THE TOILET WHEN I’M IN THE SHOWER!”

3. “Pick your underwear up off the floor.”
“Why? You’re the one that threw them there…last night…remember?”

4. “Sharing a single strand of spaghetti is not romantic. Stop asking.”

5. “You set the fire alarm off making mac and cheese!!”

6. “You just called my mom, Mom. That’s, like, better than when you said you loved me for the first time.”

7. “Potato stix. Not potato chips. Not french fries. Sticks. S-T-I-X.”

8. “Connect-four my ass. You fucking cheater.”

9. “You’re seriously going to make me sleep on the couch because I BEAT YOU IN MONOPOLY!”

10. “The blanket is a shared utensil. You can’t just wrap yourself like a burrito and leave me to freeze to death.”

more HP reread things: the shit you all knew was coming
  • the very first instance of Harry looking over at the Slytherin table to have a shufty of Draco Malfoy happens after the sorting, i.e. their VERY FIRST night of school. I cannot BELIEVE this. Harry looks over at the Bloody Baron and is like, “he’s sitting next to Malfoy! and Malfoy’s not happy about it! hahaha!!!” that’s the beginning of a puberty-long rabid obsession right there and I’m getting exceedingly misty.
  • it may also interest some of you to know that Harry then goes upstairs to Gryffindor Tower, goes to bed AND PROMPTLY STARTS DREAMING ABOUT MALFOY. they’ve only officially known each other for like four hours and Harry’s already having uncomfortable dreams about getting his head stuck in something and Malfoy laughing at him. this is day fucking one.
  • the first words out of Harry’s mouth when it’s announced that Gryffindor and Slytherin have flying lessons together are “typical. just what I always wanted. to make a fool of myself on a broomstick in front of Malfoy.” WHY is that your FIRST THOUGHT when you find out you’re gonna be FLYING A BROOMSTICK? I’ll give you one clue.
  • “Harry hadn’t had a single letter since Hagrid’s note, something that Malfoy had been quick to notice, of course.” of course? of course??? it’s normal that this 11-year-old boy has nothing better to do at breakfast than stare across the great hall at someone he hates??? “Draco, can you pass the marmalade?” “silence, Goyle, Potter is cracking his boiled egg!”
  • Harry goes to meet Draco for a midnight wizard’s duel wearing his pyjamas and a dressing gown. Draco grasses Harry up rather than actually going, but can we all please take a moment to picture his face if he’d been there to witness Harry Potter turning up to this epic death match in tartan terrycloth? thanks for your time.
  • Person A: *Had a very bad day and trying not to show it*
  • Person B: *Gives person A a giant hug and kisses* "Are you okay wanna talk about it?"
  • Person A: "How did you know there was anything wrong?"
  • Person B: "I love you more than anything, it's my duty to know when something's wrong and to make you feel better any way I can" *Beams*
  • Fred: *finger guns* hey, cool beans, how are you?
  • 
Hermione: *whispers* he’s so cool.
  • Ginny: you have such low standards.
  • Blaise: *walks in on Harry and Draco*
  • Blaise: FINALLY I mean, all that sexual tension? Bound to happen.
  • Harry: at least he is more supportive than Ron.
One Direction Asks
  • What Makes You Beautiful: Name three things you love about yourself.
  • Gotta Be You: Talk about your crush!
  • One Thing: What's one thing your dream girl/boy HAS to have?
  • More Than This: What's the bravest thing you ever did?
  • Up All Night: Talk about the craziest night of your life.
  • I Wish: What's your biggest dream?
  • Tell Me A Lie: What was your most recent lie?
  • Taken: Talk about your last relationship.
  • I Want: Name three things you want in life
  • Everything About You: Who's your biggest celebrity crush?
  • Same Mistakes: What's your most common mistake?
  • Save You Tonight: Which three things would you save if there was a fire?
  • Stole My Heart: Have you ever fallen for someone you shouldn't have fallen for?
  • Stand Up: What's your favourite sport?
  • Moments: Talk about something good that recently happened to you.
  • Another World: Which fictional world would you want to live in if you could?
  • Na Na Na: What's one thing you can never say no to?
  • I Should Have Kissed You: Is there something you regret?
  • Live While We're Young: Talk about a childhood memory.
  • Kiss You: Tell the story of your first kiss.
  • Little Things: Name five things you find attractive in others.
  • C'Mon, C'Mon: What's your dream destination for a good vacation?
  • Last First Kiss: Do you want to get married? If so, talk about your dream wedding.
  • Heart Attack: Are you jealous?
  • Rock Me: List your ten favourite bands.
  • Change My Mind: Are you good at making final decisions or do you easily change your mind?
  • I Would: Name three guilty pleasures of yours.
  • Over Again: Talk about your first love.
  • Back For You: Talk about your best friend.
  • They Don't Know About Us: Share a secret!
  • Summer Love: Talk about a summer memory.
  • She's Not Afraid: What's your favourite horror film?
  • Loved You First: Are you a possessive person?
  • Nobody Compares: Who's your idol?
  • Still The One: What's one thing you can't seem to get over?
  • Best Song Ever: List your ten favourite songs.
  • Story Of My Life: List five things you can't live without.
  • Diana: What would you name your children?
  • Midnight Memories: Talk about a dream you recently had.
  • You & I: Talk about your OTP.
  • Don't Forget Where You Belong: Where do you feel home?
  • Strong: What are your three best qualities?
  • Happily: Name three things that make you happy.
  • Right Now: Do you miss someone at the moment?
  • Little Black Dress: How would you describe your style?
  • Through The Dark: What helps you when you're feeling down?
  • Something Great: Where do you see yourself in ten years?
  • Little White Lies: Talk about your #1 sexual fantasy.
  • Better Than Words: Do you read fanfiction? If so, what's your favourite fanfiction?
  • Why Don't We Go There?: Which big cities have you been to?
  • Does He Know?: Would you be up for a threesome?
  • Alive: What's one thing you'd never tell your "real life" friends?
  • Half A Heart: What's your favourite lovestory? ( Book, film, etc. )
  • Steal My Girl: Did you ever steal anything?
  • Ready To Run: If you could have one super power, which would you choose?
  • Where Do Broken Hearts Go?: Talk about the best concert you ever attented.
  • 18: Do you wish you were younger or older?
  • Girl Almighty: What makes you sexy?
  • Fool's Gold: Do you fall for people quickly?
  • Night Changes: What's one thing you don't ever want to change?
  • No Control: Can you control your temper ?
  • Fireproof: What scares you?
  • Spaces: Did you ever let someone go for good?
  • Stockholm Syndrome: Name five kinks of yours.
  • Clouds: What's your star sign? Does your personality match it?
  • Change Your Ticket: What would you do with a million dollars?
  • Illusion: Do you believe in higher powers?
  • Once In A Lifetime: What's three things you want to do before you die?
  • Act My Age: Do you consider yourself mature?
  • Just Can't Let Her Go: Name five turn ons.

anonymous asked:

Hey do you have more flirty rivals prompts?

1) “Well.” They stepped closer, trailing their hands down the other’s chest. “They do say you should know your enemies. And, believe me, before this week is out I’m going to learn everything there is to know about you. All your weaknesses, everything that makes you tick, all your sensitive little buttons.” 
“Now, now. You have to at least buy me dinner first. It can be your consolation prize for losing.”


2) “You have to get better, okay?” They kicked the side of the hospital bed. “It’s no fun when I can’t crush you.”
“That nearly sounds like concern.”
“It’s the medication, it’s giving you delusions.”


3) “You’re going down.” 
“On you? Let’s not pretend you could handle that without begging. We’re pretending you have dignity, remember?” 


4) “Anything you can do,” they sang in an annoying voice, “I can do better. I can do anything-” the kiss shut them up. Blanked their brain with the flare of want, of heat spreading through their chest. After a moment, they kissed back eagerly, only for their rival to pull back, teasing. Lips ghosting without satisfaction. “Can you kiss me better than that? Because oh my god the look on your face right now.” 
They pounced.


5) “You know, for people who apparently hate each other, you spend an awful lot of time getting up close and personal.”
“I don’t hate them, I hate losing to them. And everyone know closeness is used to establish physical dominance.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure. And what do the longing looks establish?”