my other car is a pirate ship

Welcome Aboard Chpt. 12

Summary: “You! Stay behind and let them go free, but wait until we are a far distance out. That’s an order! And you! Take the beloved prince to Captain Lester’s quarters. He would like to meet him.” Dan could swear he heard the smirk in the pirates voice. He stiffened. Captain Lester? The same Captain Lester who was said to be the deadliest pirate that sailed the seas? Dan finally realized why the ship was familiar. It was the same ship that had invaded, looted, and sunk over 38 of their own ships in just one night.Dan knew he was definitely going to die.“


Dan Howell is a Prince who gets kidnapped by none other than Captain Lester, the deadliest pirate to sail the seas.

a/n: I actually wrote this during a long car ride on my phone so hopefully everything turns out ok. This is kinda where shit hits the fan so I really hope you enjoy!

WARNING: There is use of guns and violence in this chapter. Please be cautious if triggered or want to avoid violence.

“Remember to keep your head down low. Keep in mind that citizens don’t widely accept pirates. You won’t be treated the same if you are talked to.” Louise debriefed him on the dock. Phil was talking to a suspicious man across from them. Dan almost cringed when he realized they all look suspicious. It hadn’t occurred to him until now that what they were doing was probably illegal.

He was a Prince gone rouge.

Dan was so distracted by his own thoughts he didn’t realize Phil had walked up until he spoke. “The distributor is waiting for us in town by the old pub. PJ, I’ll use you and Chris and few other men to transport the food back onto the ship. It will be a lot of heavy lifting so be ready. Louise and Dan will work as our lookouts and as always I will handle the transaction. Are there any questions?”

Dan was almost shocked. He had never really truly seen Phil go into Captain mode. Besides being super turned on, he was also extremely impressed.

“No questions? Alright. Dan will walk with me in the front and Louise if you wouldn’t mind taking up the rear.” Louise just nodded and headed to the back. The group began walking attempting to look casual.

“What exactly is a lookout supposed to do?” The prince asked.

“If you see anything out of place or dangerous tell me or PJ immediately.” Phil talked to him but didn’t make eye contact. He just continued to survey the area.

“You realize we are the dangerous thing here right?” Dan joked causing the Captain to chuckle. There was a long pause before Phil spoke again.

“If anything goes wrong today, I just want you to know that I truly do care about you.” He whispered.

Dan didn’t answer or say anything back. He just slipped his hand into Phil’s and squeezed. Reassuring both men that nothing would go wrong.


Dan looked around at the piles and piles of boxes. Most of them were filled with bread, fruit, and rum. But mostly rum.

He turned and made eye contact with Louise. She nodded, as if encouraging him. Phil was having a muffled conversation in the corner with PJ as their men collected and took out boxes.

There weren’t many people in town at this late. Dan told himself that they would probably get away with this. Whatever this was.

As the last boxes were removed Phil shook hands with the distributor and walked out. He gestured for both Louise and him to follow.

“I figured we could go to the pub to celebrate a successful transaction. I sent PJ after the other men to let them know they may join us.”


The pub was small but full of people. Dan found a spot at the bar with Phil. The Captain told him that he would be right back and disappeared into the crowd.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” The bartender spoke.

“Daniel How-” He stopped. The bartenders eyes grew. What had he done?

“I kn-knew you looked familiar. Your Prince Daniel. The kidnapped prince.” She stuttered. This earned him the attention of many surrounding individuals.

The prince didn’t know what to do so he tried to run. Before he made it anywhere the man sitting next to him grabbed his arm.

“Not so fast. There’s a pretty penny waiting for me if I return you to the kingdom. And an even prettier penny if I sell you to someone else.” The man breathed into his face.

“Whoa who said you get to keep him?” Another large man said grabbing his other arm. Suddenly they both had guns and Dan just sat paralyzed. Phil suddenly appeared.

“What the fuck is going on here?” He yelled.

“Captain Lester.” One of the large men growled.

Chaos suddenly erupted around him. More and more people got involved. Fist fights turned into gun shots being fired left and right. Dan watched in horror as a gun shot sounded next to him and Phil fell to the ground.

Chapter 13


Story is a drug
And you feel sorry for people who aren’t addicted
Like, “Man I just got this Swedish shit you wouldn’t believe”
But all they do is mainline reality tv
Digital needle straight to the brain
And sometimes my head becomes a storymeth lab
Churning out images faster than I can consume them
A pirate ship drives down the highway
And a golden telescope
Spies an ice cream truck in a subdivision
“Hard to starboard!”
Wheels screech
Horns honk in its wake as it cuts across three lanes of traffic
Next thing you see
A small car drives through a neighborhood
Haagen-Dazs and other illicit wrappers blow in the wind
As the ice cream truck burns on its side
People walk by smiling pushing strollers as if nothing is amiss
The car stops
The door opens
After person
After person
After person
Get out and watch the fire
A phone call
“Send in the clowns”