So context this is me and my friend Toms forst time playing DnD. The first battle we have is against an orc with a pack of wolves by his side. The party focuses on the wolves where as our ranger shoots the orc with his long bow dealing decent damage. Tom pipes up “im going to impale him with my javelin” DM allows it and tom rolls a Nat 20 and impales him from his gut straight through into his skull. He then goes on to do the exact same thing later on to a bear again rolling a nat 20 and acheiving his attack.
Party, including DM: You will forever now be known as “Tom the Impalor”
Tom: its not official yet. *Rolls nat 20 impales the final boss with his javelin.*
I think my favorite difference between Funhaus and Achievement Hunter is that at FH, the most dangerous thing they do on more than one occasion is have Jon break disks in weird ways on Demo Disk, whereas at AH, they literally throw a grappling hook at the ceiling and shoot BB guns in their office for fun
Word count: 944
Pairing: Peter Maximoff x Reader
Raring: M- SMUT
A/N: I’m so sorry it took forever, but here! I know it’s not the best but it’s finally up!
The two had been together for a while now. Almost a year to be exact. The tension between the two was growing stronger as the days went by. Yet, even with being legally adults, the two never got the chance to do anything, let alone be alone together.
Peter draped his arm over my side as we walked down the hallway of Xavier’s school. “Class treat you well today, babe?” He asked, his Goggles sitting on his head lopsided. I nodded and grinned at the silver haired boy. “Pretty good, Hank decided to set up a new course for us at the end of this semester… It’s kind of funny” I raised my hand and fixed his Goggles. “Oh, really? What is it?” Peter asked as we made our way to the school yard. “Sexual education and I think it’s 99% because of us” I replied at the fact it was true. That ,and Scott and Jean were getting pretty close.
Peter scoffed as we sat down at an empty picnic table, dropping our bags. “Seriously… Man we’re legal. I’m old enough to know how to put it in-” “DON’T FINISH THAT SENTENCE, KURT IS BEHIND YOU” Jubilee interrupted and sat down beside us - actually, in between us. Probably because Charles put her and the rest of our friends up to keeping Peter and I separated. Peter frowned and stood up. “Babe, want to go get food with me?” He asked, obvious excuse to find a way alone.
I was quick to follow behind him, we went walking down toward his room. “You know, we don’t even have to have sex, right? We could just go to that carnival that you like so much” Peter looked at me from the corner of his eye. I nodded. “Of course I know that but the most you’ve actually gotten to do was finger me and that was on the bus. I just want to be with you in any way we possibly ever could” I spoke softly and shrugged. We stopped at his door and he was fast to pin me in against the inside of it. His lips found mine and he pressed needy kisses to my lips. I inhaled, taking in all of this scent. He smelt so beautiful.
Much to our dismay, we heard an all too familiar BAMF and Peter sighed in hysteria, pulling away. “Really, Kurt? Man this sucks” Peter looked at he blue mutant who was grinning sheepishly. “I zhought I should finish my homevork”. Peter rolled his eyes and in a rush we were in an entirely new surrounding. A closet.
“If we can’t get privacy in my room, we’ll get it here” he began to press those needy and list filled kisses to my lips and trailed down. His hand began to move lower to my hips and he kissed down my neck, to my collarbone and stopped. “Can we?” He asked softly and I immediately knew what he meant. I want to. I really want to. “We can get caught, Peter…” I trailed off, not entirely sure I wanted Peters father or anyone else to find Peter getting off inside of me. He grinned at me and held up a silver packet. A condom. Of course he would. “That’s the best thing about it! If we get caught, there’s always that thrill that we proved them wrong that we did get to have sex again” peter pressed his lips to my nose and waited. I nodded slowly.
Within a second or two we were both entirely naked and Peter was rolling on a condom. He pumped himself and looked at me before teasingly running his shaft up and down my slit. I whimpered out and glared at him. “We don’t have time for foreplay”. Peter chuckled at my hiss. “Of course we don’t. I just like teasing you” Peter lowly pushed himself inside of me until he completely bottomed out, the awkward dull pain between my hips was back from not having him in such a long time. “You okay? You’re making hat face again” he was looking at me seriously this time and he rubbed my cheek softly. “No. I swear, you better not stop” I stated.
I felt Peter roll his hips before pulling out and sliding back into my heat very slowly, then repeating. The face he was making was pure concentration. It was more than likely he was struggling to go slow instead of fast like he’s used to. I kissed his neck and shoulder. “You can move faster, I’m not made of glass”. “ I know I just don’t want to risk hurting my baby girl” Peter said and he started to move in a little faster, but not much. We both let out small moans and gasps.
Not long after, the sound of our skin was the only think audible. That’s a lie. We were loud. Peter was pounding into me and groaning loud, both of us chasing our orgasms. I felt that familiar tightness in my lower region and let go instantly, a heat and lightheadedness washing over me, my vision blurry. Feeling Peter release info the condom with a loud moan, I heard him giggle. “What?” I asked. “You squirted”. I felt my cheeks get hotter than there was before.
“Okay, fun is up. My office now” Professor Xavier’s voice calls from the opposite side of the door. I heard Erik and Raven mumble something and them walking off, I stared at Peter with wide eyes. He smirked and sat up. “What can I say? You tempted me, and it’s totally worth whatever we have to do now”.
pt 2 bc everyone wanted one! might be a little short wow i thought it would be short but i kept on adding on to it SORRY
also i feel like this is kind of poorly written so i might edit it later? but anyways ENJOYY
“i’m a what now?”
you stopped mid way playing with one of Daniel’s cats at your desk when he had just said something that seemed like bs out of the blue to you
he just kept on smiling brightly without saying a word
“Kang Daniel i swear say it again I am practically deaf in the ear that you were talking to”
he got up from his desk
he slid on his chair over to your desk because he was too lazy to get up from his chair
“i’m saying that i want you to be the chief of operations, you have such great ideas i think you would be great for leading everyone else in that department we really need someone like you leading with your strong personality”
“hey just because i threatened you one time doesn’t mean i have a strong personality”
“i mean you did kind of threaten me when i refused to let you pay at the last dinner we had together”
“DANIEL that wasn’t a korean bbq place that time though, it was a very expensive restaurant!”