You're the girl who's sexually attracted to dense cities and indonesian islands right? If i were planning where to put a city what tips would help me pick a sexy location?
There are many eternal principles to sexy geography, but here are the two most important ones:
- The tropics are hot.
- Water makes me wet.
Using these fundamental doctrines, we can discern which latitudes and hydrology are Hot and which are Not. (Content note for me literally objectifying the planet.)
(Note that these can be either degrees north or south of the equator.)
0°-20°: Aphrodite’s loins. This is the hottest property around and Best Location Ever. 10/10 would fuck, marry, and kill for.
20°-35°: Excellent runner up. If all the hottest babes have already been colonised, then you should definitely give this one a test drive. Some of the most sumptuous terrain lies within this band, so don’t worry about missing out on the action.
35°-45°: OK, so you may have fucked up a little. It’s OK! Not all of us can be Alpha Settlers. But don’t worry: The rumours that these are entirely rejects aren’t true! There are some good locations… Somewhere…
This could even be a nice place if we make sure to burn a lot more coal over the next century!
Look, at least it isn’t as bad as-
45°-55°: I… I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry, dude, but there is nothing of value past this point. Like, I guess you can live up there… Sort of…
Look, you’ll never be happy, but you can at least try to build something meaningful for yourself, y’know?
>55°: …You, however, cannot. There is no life up there. There are no hopes or dreams or love or humanity. Only the cold. Do not. Simply Do Not. That is all the warning you’ll ever get. I hope for your sake you take it seriously.
Islands: Godtier sex machines. I’d let an archipelago run a train on me, ngl
Coastlines: Decent homies. Quality lubrication; quite bangable.
Marrying Settling one would be a smart choice.
The shore of a massive lake with international shipping: I can forgive you for not being on an actual ocean but, as a size queen, I assure you that I do judge every megaton of water. You better at least have some skills.
Upstream of a navigable river: Pathetic. Your city is practically a landfag at this point. You could do far better than this low
Inland: Fucking landfag. Get off my planet.