my need to fix this is killing me

  • Jaehee: I need to get my glasses fixed.
  • Zen: What’s wrong?
  • Jaehee: The screw keeps falling out.
  • 707: *all serious*
  • 707: So you’re telling me your glasses are screwing around with you?
  • Jaehee: I’m going to kill you.
RP starters: Injured/death
  • “Hey, you’re bleeding!”
  • “Can you move?”
  • “You will be fine, I promise..”
  • “Don’t you dare to leave me. Not now.”
  • “We can get you fixed in no time.”
  • “Please get up.”
  • “I refuse to believe it will all end like this!”
  • “You won’t die, not on my watch!”
  • “Ouch.. that must hurt “
  • “Shit, wait.. I’ll patch you up.”
  • “What were you thinking?! You could’ve killed yourself!”
  • “I came too late..”
  • “You should’ve told me earlier.. I could’ve helped you!”
  • “I swear to god if you die on our way back I’ll kill you.”
  • “It’s nothing, just a scratch.”
  • “Look, no need to fuss over me. I’m fine!”
  • “Well, you see.. It’s a really long story. Will you help me or not?”
  • “I can’t make it.”
  • “I am dying. There is nothing you can do about it.”
  • “It’s not your fault, okay?”
  • “It just hurts… hurts so goddamn much.”
  • “Are you going to let me suffer more?”
  • “There is no happy ending to this.”
  • “I have been through worse…”
  • “I’m not going to lie, this is not how I planned this would go down.”
  • “They came out of nowhere.. I couldn’t react in time.”
  • “How bad does it look?”
  • “I knew this day would come.. sooner or later.”

I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see.
I see things that can be fixed and things that can be hidden.
But I have no energy, I don’t have enough strength the change those things.
So I’m going to keep looking at this mirror hoping that one day, things might change.

But I know they won’t.

—  They won’t
poems-she-wrote

destiel 1k. my first attempt at smut bye

Ah, ah, right there, oh

Sometimes, Cas worked himself too hard.

Fuck fuck fuuuuuck

He would get stuck on a certain chapter or scene, or a troublesome plot line would need fixing.

Keep going, don’t stop

He would pace and think and think and pace until his own spinning imagination became his enemy, until his rigorous work regimen stopped working in his favor, until his desk became a prison.

Fuck, you feel so good”

Sometimes Cas needed to get out of his head.

Yes yes yes

Some people did drugs. Some people took walks. Some people slept or meditated or laid in a relaxing bath.

Oh God, oh my God

Castiel preferred to call Dean Winchester.

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6

Nᴏɪʀ (Cɪɴᴇᴍᴀ Vᴇʀ.pt2)

KILLER: Beauty and revenge are words that shouldn’t be together. Which is the price of the beauty? Is the revenge enough to fix yourself? Hey little girl, what happened to the shy person who you was? Your beauty is hurting me. Even if this is a joke, let me have you just for a night.(Kill Bill inspired)

I GUEES I NEED YOU: Day 1: She smiled to me… she is gorgeous. Why I can’t even share a word with her? … Day20: Finally I could enter to the sanctuary where this goddess is governing my heart, I couldn’t talk to her again, but I left her a note: “Hope you can see me tonight, because I’ve already done it… you’re so hot when you sleep, please, let me hug you just one night. Forever yours, Jung Daehyun”

CHIQUITA: Ladies and Gentlemans, are you ready? For the show that could save or change lifestyles. ‘Chiquita’ is coming. She doesn’t promise make disasters. She’ll destroy all the things that impede her to continue her way even If she has to kill you, but don’t worry this could be the second act. Welcome everyone to this musical. (Chicago inspired)

WALK: I walk all the nights with the hope that I’ll find you again but wipe clean the memories that are countless like the stars . I want to go back to the start, when I didn’t know you. The day I first met you I want to avoid that coincidence…we’ve never met, we’ve never loved. I know it’s difficult, but you’ve gone and I need to let you go. Love you, Yoo Youngjae. ‘Are you sure to send this message?’

NOW: How many years have to pass to forget a second? You aren’t here anymore, should told you how important you were for me. Where are you? I also forgot how you look like, I only have you in my memory, in my paintings. I’m sorry I promised you that I’ll be okay, but I can’t, when I took the brush my mind only want to return to the moment I painted you the first time. I loved you, I love you and I’ll love you forever. -Draft No. 267 of Moon Jongup.

KINGDOM: What would you be able of doing to have the absolute power? What do you need? Power? Wisdom? Patience or Innovation? Do you kill your friends if you can fulfill your wish? Can you die for someone? This is the real life, you have to fight if you want to be someone or you die being a jeer.

Hey! Hey! For those people who read all of this post… THANK YOU. Please, wait for ‘Skydive’ Individual Poster… could be amazing ;) yes, as you can see I’m a Brown Eyed Girls’s fan…(alsoiamworkingonmyownversionoftheFF0000image)

can seokjin teach me how to be pretty

can yoongi teach me how to fix things

can namjoon teach me fashion

can hoseok teach me how to be happy

can jimin teach me how to be cute

can taehyung teach me how to model

can jungkook teach me how to be good at everything

A Moment for Herself

It’s not until her phone rings that Kara realizes she might have made a mistake letting Leslie go without a fight…


Spite is a powerful motivator, and that episode needed a lot more Cat to be fixed. Since we can’t get it in the show, I bring you the fix it fic we all needed. I’m up three hours past my bedtime and taking a sick day so I can get some sleep, but this was worth it. Enjoy!


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All-Nighters (Victuuri)

Author’s Note: Ohooo~ For my wonderful friend @ticklyfandoms who requested Victuuri with 22: “It’s freezing in here.” And I agree, little spoon Victor is way too cute aaah~ So, like I told you while we were talking about him, that is what I included! I hope you enjoy this, dear! ♡♡

Description: It’s a very cold night in Hasetsu and poor Victor isn’t getting enough warmth from the blankets. As a way to fix this, he seeks out Yuuri to cuddle with him. Though, while they are cuddling, Yuuri caresses Victor a little too gently and draws quite the reaction from him!

Word Count: 1,129


   Victor tightened his grip on the thick blankets that he had lazily slung over his shoulders as he reached out and knocked on the door to Yuuri’s bedroom. He had decided that he would stay in Hasetsu with Yuuri and his family for the holiday season, but he hadn’t expected it to be so cold there.

  The door almost immediately opened to reveal Yuuri with bed hair and half-shut eyes.  “Victor… What time is it? Shouldn’t you be asleep..?”

  “It’s about one in the morning, I think. I’m sorry for waking you, I just… I got a little cold in there,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “Can I stay in here with you for the rest of the night?”

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I swallow poison because it’s the only consistent thing in my life.
It does not lie.
When I am high, I am high. When I am crashing, I am crashing. There’s no mixed signals and it has never denied the fact that it is killing me.
Drugs have been kinder to me than most people; drugs have no favoritism. They show no love, no hatred.
It sounds sick, but at the end of the day, I AM sick. No half-truths will change that. No prayers will change that. Screaming at me, telling me I’m throwing it away…
It will not change that.
You cannot fix me.
I have to fix me.
And I’m sorry if it hurts you, but I’m not ready to be fixed.
((I just need my fix.))
—  You asked me why I went to drugs for help instead of people; I always had drugs and they always had me; I always had people, but they always left. -n.m.d // mine

pirate-owl  asked:

I'm just going to keep asking for more of the story where Lucy is Flynn's wife until you acknowledge that it is a full on wip fic with an actual name and everything. (Of all the wips I'm reading right not, it's the one most invested in. And I don't even know if you meant it to be more than an angsty oneshot.)

Anonymous said: “I need my soldiers.” Hehe… Fixed your statement Lucy. You’re welcome. Part 3 killed me! But I loved it. I’m interested in hearing the conversation over drinks. *hint hint* :)            

NO. NO I WAS NOT INTENDING THIS TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN AN ANGSTY ONE SHOT. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WITH THE TRASH SAGA AND IT IS INTOLERABLE I TELL YOU, UNACCEPTABLE.

…. on that note, I definitely did not spend my break today writing this.

I hate my choices.

The team doesn’t exactly go out for nights on the town anymore, even when they’re home, what with the whole have-to-avoid-Rittenhouse thing they are struggling to pull off. Jiya visits with supplies and so forth, but she can’t risk being seen too often or in the same place, which has been hard on her and Rufus. Still, though. Tonight feels like it justifies an exception. They’re obviously not about to stroll into a bar and get nabbed like idiots, but there are a few places where they can go when they need a drink on the down-low, and one of those is where Flynn and Wyatt are currently sitting, not talking much, just trying to get a sufficient quantity of booze into their system to make it even possible. Both of them are still banged up from their scuffle, and Wyatt’s split lip stings from the alcohol. Not that this stops him. He takes another pull.

The bartender leaves them alone, as the people who come in here usually do for similar bottom-of-the-barrel reasons, and they both have their guns, so Wyatt figures they’re safe enough, for now. At last, quietly, he says, “You know she’s right. She usually is. We gotta cut this out.”

Flynn grunts noncommittally. As if to remark that of course, Wyatt needs to stop what he’s doing, but it’s less clear that he himself intends to.

“It’s just one of those…” Wyatt traces the scarred wood of the bar. “Fluke things. It’s nobody’s fault. I guess I have to stop feeling like…” He trails off. Finally, “That if anyone, I would be the one entitled to that accident.”

“Believe me, I didn’t ask for it either.” Flynn glances at him sidelong, in what can almost be interpreted as a peace offering. If you squint. “And if it happened to you, are you really going to sit there and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing? I know you, Wyatt. I know we’re more alike than you want to admit. And you went through the same thing. With your wife.”

“I… yeah. Yeah, I did.” Wyatt blows out a breath. “I’d wonder if I was dishonoring Jessica, if I’d been cheated, if I’d ended up with something I wanted but in the worst possible way. Like of course I couldn’t earn it properly, that I…” He stops, struggling over the words. “That I’d lost whatever I had before, sacrificed it, burned it, and no future was worth that.”

“Yes.” Flynn’s voice is very quiet, barely a whisper. “Yes, that’s about it.”

“Hey.” Wyatt reaches out, puts a hand on his shoulder. “I stole a time machine trying to save my wife too. And I did that because you told me the name of the guy. I don’t know why it didn’t bring Jessica back, I don’t know what happened, but…” He pauses. “Thank you. For at least giving me the chance. I was the one who screwed it up.”

Flynn looks as startled as if a hunter approached an animal in the woods and wanted to chat, rather than whipping out a high-caliber rifle and turning it into a pelt. After a moment he says, “I’m not sure you can thank me for that. I was trying to divide you, distract you, keep you off my tail so you wouldn’t interfere any more. But I did think it would work. That you’d have her back. And that if it succeeded for you, I’d know it would for me.”

“Go figure.” Wyatt grins bitterly. “Guess we’re both just fuckups then, aren’t we?”

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A real emotional journey here

I basically spent my weekend writing at a marathon pace and the end of my novel’s first draft is within sight (like in the next few weeks?). 

So there have been moments where I feel absolutely euphoric about the book. I feel like it’s the best book ever and I’m doing such a great job. I feel like this:

Originally posted by unsfilmesai

Then I start thinking about all the things I need to fix, edit, rewrite, research, change, and improve before anyone can ever see it. My novel is a shitty pile of nothing words and I am the biggest doofus alive. So I also feel like this:

Originally posted by fraddit

Anyway, I have to think how I’m going to tackle a sex scene.

I am so in love with this you have absolutely NO idea how happy this stupid drawing makes me right now. I have been grinning the entire time! This will probably be the only thing I post for the next few days; I know I’m not going to do anything tomorrow because it’s truck day and then I need to start finalizing my costume. But ugh, these nerds are killing me rn! Based on my text post here http://blackwolfartz.tumblr.com/post/146421373999/if-its-worth-anything-i-have-thought-about-atem Let’s all also appreciate Pouty!Atem lol

every single plan does nothing but fail miserably
rise and sputter, combust & fall
the dirt can’t quench the flames right now
i’m killing time viciously, just to avoid dreams
who knows what they will bring tonight
anyway, the track record isn’t good
better not to place a bet, just battle through it
all the songs on my favorite album seem short
every movie i start i don’t finish
something is wrong in the fabric of it all
something is off, something needs to be fixed
the night feels so long, so terribly long
owls are nonexistent now for some reason
crickets can’t be heard, everything (everything)
is still as still can be (everything, everything)
but i can’t take the silence, it reminds me of too much
so i whip out the speakers, whip out the vinyls
angry music turned up as high as it can go
i’ll time it perfectly & shut it all off
right before the neighbors decide to ring the cops
broken plates all over the kitchen floor
are a testimony to all my fear & confusion
almost every cup is in pieces, nothing to hold my tea in
nothing to hold my wine in either so i just take it out the bottle
i feel alive for a moment but then my brain taps me on my shoulder
and whispers in my ear “this coup of yours won’t last”
(“this coup of yours won’t last”)
—  i guess this entire passion play is just me trying to trick myself into believing that i have a shot at surviving the night
It’s your love that fixed the scattered segments of mine
Rectified my cold and frozen heart
Made rainbows appear in my stormy mind
Killed the anxiety planting in my head
Taught me how to love every droplets of life
Took away my fear for storms and dark
Freed me from the web of anger and hate
Wiped the tears pouring down my cheeks
Wrapped me in a warm embrace that felt like home
Yearned my soul that once died and buried
Replaced my nightmares with sweet dreams
Filled my heart with every sentiment
My heart was alive once again
Like, a magic spell was casted
You’re the magician as I might say
Thank you for making it possible
Thank you for loving a broken girl
—  S.L

He gets mad about the fact they can proclaim anything about a Millennial and it counts as fact. Lazy, unwilling, repugnant. He says to me it’s unfair. That when you argue, you’re ignored because you’re one of the group they’re being taught to hate.

And I understand that rage. But it is a rage that goes deep in me. Is not unfamiliar. Of course I’m emotional, I’m a woman. Of course I’m in need of therapy, I’m queer. Of course my father is illegal, I’m Hispanic. And the lists are long and tiring. Islam is a religion of hatred, black people deserve to be shot for existing, people with disabilities just need faith and magic and not government funds, mental illness is a state of mind that wears off, and on and on and on and

I tell him with a shrug I agree because the fight is dying in me. How much does shouting fix anything. They’ll still kill you in the street for protesting. For being alive and daring to question. For being happy, alive for a moment in a club, or drunk in an alley. Who cares. Who cares. There’s always another article someone typed up in 15 minutes that “disproves” our claims. There’s always a 65 year old white man to decide our court case.

Yesterday, laughing, I discussed what hashtags they would use to remember me when one day being gay or Cuban or a woman catches up with me. None of them have a name in them.

“Our Generation doesn’t want the work of a full relationship,” says an article. The boy points at it. Talks about how he’s in love, how I’m in love and have been for almost 4 beautiful years. “They just spin a wheel and make stuff up and everyone believes them because it’s got the word ‘Millennial’ in it.” He takes a deep breath. “Who even wrote this?”

Menstruation is needed to be a woman. All gay people are just confused. There are always rules. And there’s always someone making up the rules. Some judge who sees boys as carefree sons. Some lawmaker who doesn’t use tampons. There’s always the voice of “reason,” somebody “on the inside” who agrees with the majority. There’s always a girl who says it’s okay for the guy to have “needs.” There’s always somebody.

I nod and sip my coffee. Who wrote it doesn’t matter. What people see, they believe.

And our voices are small. And our voices are breaking.

Reactions to DAI Trespasser

Guy: “You act as if you’re a solution to every problem!”

Me:

Originally posted by mymojosodopeme1

Inquisitor: “We saved Ferelden, and they’re angry. We saved Orlais, and they’re angry. We closed the Breach twice, and my own hand wants to kill me! Could one thing in this fucking world just stay fixed!” Stabs table 

Me:

Originally posted by gif-weenus

Solas: “I suspect you have questions.”

Me:

Originally posted by jaxcksonteller

anonymous asked:

Okay so like I lost 22lbs since January and I've been stuck at 113 since the 3rd and I thought it was from me snacking more from cravings (I have 200 cal/day) and then I thought it was because my period was the next week (it's in like 2 days) so I decided to take it easy on spring break and bump my intake to around 400-500 a day and I'm 112 now??? How does increasing my calories make me lose weight??? I thought I'd gain some this week then lose more after I went back to 200 to fix my plateau :/

DONT

EAT

200

CALORIES

A

DAY

BAD ANNON BAD.

That isnt healthy.

Lord knows why you guys send me this bc all im going to tell you is that its bad

dont do it

eat AT LEAST over 700 calories a day

and if you need to work out dont burn over 200 calories

unless you eat over 700 cals.

And to answer your question, its because your body was actually not killing itself as much so your metabolism kicked up- thats my best unprofessional guess

anonymous asked:

So now that Eddie's been dosed are you going to tap that fine ass?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.  He is not in a state of mind to give consent. Right now all his mind and body want is for the fear to stop so even if he were to offer himself up it would be no better than coercion because I am in the position of making the terror end. I may be a lot of terrible things but I am not going to take advantage of a dear friend. Besides as a scientist any interest I have regarding my toxins and intercourse revolve around first discussing it my partner and carefully measured low doses. Not overdosing which is what he will do if I don’t help him. The idiot might have just dosed himself with enough fear gas to kill him but naturally I am not about to let that happen. So. If you will excuse me. I need to go fix this disaster I call a friend.