my name is wade

anonymous asked:

Hey, Wade! I named my car after you! :) it has a bunch of problems, constantly breaking down, the radio doesn't work so the only music I play is my old CDs I bought in the 90s/early 2000's, only one door opens from the outside (if I'm lucky), the outside is covered in beauty marks from its previous 8 owners, however the inside is just beautiful and fine AF.

Secrets (trans!peter)


For @chase-is-not-crash

PART TWO

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“Crap crap crap crap crap.”

Peter, in full Spider Man costume, dropped onto a roof and ducked behind an AC unit, holding his right arm tight to his chest.

It hurt, oh man it hurt and he could hardly draw a breath between the pain and his binder was too tight today and honestly he thought he might pass out if he couldn’t get laying down somewhere safe. But on this side of the city he was minimum twenty minutes of swinging, and close to an hour taxi ride from the safety of Aunt Mays apartment.

Too far.

He dropped his head back against the AC unit and tried to suck in a deep breath, tried not to scream when everything seized up. His arm, his chest…this was a horrible day.

And he was late for his injection, which made everything worse. He was supposed to take it last night, and had passed out exhausted before he remembered and then had ran out the door late to school and now here he was several hours later.

“What’s up, Spidey?” A deep voice startled him, but not as much as the red and black masked face that poked around the corner. “I’m sensing a damsel in distress.”

“Go away, Deadpool.” Peter flinched behind his mask at the ‘damsel’ comment. “I’m fine.”

Liar!” Deadpool crowed and moved to kneel in front of him. “Who knew our friendly neighborhood Spider Man lied like a fat kid stealing cake?”

“Please.” Peter bit out. “Please. Leave.”

“Hey.” Deadpool’s voice dropped, softened. “You’re not alright, alright? Plus you’re like twelve, and I just can’t leave a twelve year old superhero alone and hurting on the roof somewhere. Where’s your dad?”

“Who–”

“The Iron Giant.” Deadpool said impatiently. “I heard he looks out for you.”

“Don’t want him to know.” Peter was starting to feel a little lightheaded, lack of oxygen and the pain radiating up his arm making him dizzy. “And I’m not twelve.”

“Well you certainly aren’t eighteen.” Deadpool looked around, then seemed to come to a decision. “Well, I live close by, want to come to my place? We can get you patched up and–”

No!” Peter blurted. “I mean, no. No thank you.”

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2

Wanda: It’s about time we got introduced. The Mod has had our designs planned out for like ever.

Wade: Yeah yeah, just don’t make this dimension jumping a regular thing. Peter can’t know about all this multiverse stuff it’ll rack his brain.

Wanda: Peter…Peter…You mean Petra? I have a Petra Parker.

Wade: No! Ugh, let’s just finish this update already.

Song of Themyscira | Seven

Summary: As an Amazonian warrior, you’re invited to Man’s World by Diana Prince. Ares, angered by the situation, decides to send an army, led by his son, to disrupt the peace. Will James be able to follow through, or will the Amazonians keep the peace?

Pairing: James ‘Bucky’ Barnes x Amazon!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k (wowza)

Warnings: Language (for now)

A/N: Update! This one is a long one, so I hope you enjoy :) s/o to mi amor, abril, for being with me every step of the way w/ this fic || SoT masterlist

Originally posted by n-barnes

(this gif reflects James’ mood at a certain point in the chapter - try and guess when and where!!)

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Better This Way (Chapter Four)

This chapter gets a little sad guys. But come on, we all knew some angst was coming. This isnt even the bad angst, I promise.

Can’t wait to hear what you guys think. Like and Reblog for me! If we break 200 likes/ reblogs before dinner (its 8 am my time) Ill post chapter five too!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :)
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“Wade.” Peter looked up when the familiar red and black suit clambered up over the edge of the roof and plopped down next to him. “How’s it going?” He took a deep breath, Wade’s heavy scent of electric and wild making him smile.

“Oh you know.” Wade rolled his shoulders. “Amazing. Just off being fabulous. And sexy. All that. You know how we do, Spidey.”

“Sure.” Peter laughed and handed him a sandwich. “What was I thinking, asking about that?”

Just like he did every day, Wade took the food and turned away from Peter to eat. And just like Peter had done every day in the few weeks since his heat, he grabbed Wade’s wrist and tugged him back around so they were sitting right next to each other while they ate.

“I don’t know why you keep doing that.” He grumbled and the Alpha snorted.

“I don’t why you keep doing that. Nothing under this mask that you need to see Spidey-babe. My skin isn’t near as clear and perfect and puberty free as yours.”

“We’ve been over this. I’m definitely twenty-two. Already went through puberty.”  

“Whatever you say. You got freckles don’t you?” Wade accused. “Damn kid.”

“You want to find out?” Peter challenged, only half teasing, “Wanna see if I got freckles, Wade?”

“Yeah right.” Wade laughed a little. “Better keep your mask on Spidey, I’m sure your beauty would blind me.”

“Yeah?” Peter’s voice softened. “And what about yours?”

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Biblical

Deadpool x Reader

A/N: So @bkwrm523hounded  (haha) me about this dialogue prompt she had, “ “FINE!  BUT ME AND MY BOOBS will be playing together in the bedroom. ALONE!”. So I caved and added the anon prompt request in my inbox "I’m going to stop you there before you say something that really crosses the line.” And this is the result. Enjoy.

Originally posted by marvelheroes

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Being best friends with Wade Wilson aka Deadpool would include (spoilers):

  • Meeting him before he knows about his cancer.
  • Sharing an apartment.
  • It’d probably be a bit of a mess, but you’d turn to clean the place.
  • Playing aggressive videogames.
  • Giving him speeches as if you were his subconscious voice.
  • Basically having the same humor as him.
  • You being a superhero/antihero too.
  • Getting excited when he finally meets a girl.
  • Getting close to Vanessa too.
  • The three of you eating chimichanga and inviting Peter Parker over.
  • Being friends with Weasel, and always being welcomed to the bar by everyone.
  • You breakdown when he informs you about said cancer.
  • You’re the first one he talks about the scientists with.
  • Not trusting them and expressing your concern.
  • Getting angry when he leaves Vanessa.
  • Keeping her company to make sure she’s alright.
  • Being determined to find Wade, and you do after the explosion.
  • Him being afraid to show you his face.
  • Your first reaction is to hug him tight, followed by a ridiculous joke.

‘’I guess I am the hot friend now.’’

‘’I’m still being the sexy one, duh.’’

  • You hit Weasel when he comments about Wade’s face.
  • Helping him beat up guys to find Ajax.
  • He gets impressed by your skills/powers.
  • Still, he’s fucking overprotective ALL THE TIME without realising.
  • Expressing all of his worries about Vanessa to you.
  • Having matching Hello Kitty backpacks.

‘’You may be wondering, why the red suit? Well, that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed.’’

‘’Smooth Pool, smooth’’

‘’Can you shut the fuck up?’’

  • Helping him find Vanessa at the streptease club.
  • He ends up beating the shit out of some guy who tried to lay his hands on you.
  • You’re the one who asks Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead for help.
  • When you find Ajax, he continuously firts with you to annoy Wade.
  • It definetly annoys Wade.

‘’What’s my name?’’

‘’I’m gonna fuckin spell it out for ya.’’

‘’I didn’t know you could spell, Wade.’’

  • You get your turn to beat the shit out of Ajax.
  • ‘’You touch my best friend, you answer me.’’
  • Giving Wade and Vanessa private space after the events.

‘’Let’s celebrate that I saved my girlfriend from the psycopath who detroyed my beauty.’’

‘’Chimichangas?’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’OK, I’ll call Parker.’’

  • Wade thinking there’s something between you and Spiderman.
  • He basically scares guys away from you.
  • You probably would walk into something intimate.

‘’Wade, I’m going to the cinema with Peter, I’ll be back arou… Oh my god, oh my god. I think I just puked a little bit. Seriously guys, in the kitchen? We eat food there!’’

  • But basically him becoming your brother figure.
  • And you being the little sister he always wanted.
Better Like This (Spideypool)

Scene from my new Spideypool ABO with insecure!alpha!wade and omega!peter

My ABOs are all fairly emotional, and this one should be good and angsty with lots of Wade feels.

For those of you who don’t know, my Spideypool pairing is always Andrew Garfield/Ryan Reynolds.

***********************
Wade hesitated before leaving, taking one long last look at the omega on the bed.

Spider-man.

Wade didn’t even know his real name, but that was fine.

It was better like this.

He knew for all that strength and bravery and those spidey-reflexes, the omega would be upset to wake up alone, but it would be fine.

Sharing heat didnt have to be a big deal, and Spidey’s had only lasted twenty four hours. Twenty four hours of Wade finally getting his hands on that beautiful body, of hearing all those soft noises and sharp cries and scenting the sweet scent that was purely omega…purely him.

Wade hadn’t even gotten undressed, kept his mask on and everything, and the lights had been off, the windows blacked out so nobody’s identity was compromised. Spidey had begged– begged–Wade to get naked, had pleaded for skin to skin contact, but Wade had refused.

It was better like this.

Better that Spidey didn’t feel how scarred and damaged Wade’s skin was. Better that Spidey wasn’t horrified by the mess that his face. It was bad enough he had felt the rough edges of Wade’s fingers as they had moved together, he certainly didn’t need to be exposed to anything else.

And Spidey certainly didn’t need to have to deal with Wade still there when he woke up. No, that would be too weird.

So Wade grabbed his gloves off the floor and pulled the covers up around the bare shoulders he could just barely see, and backed out of the door.

“You’re leaving me?” The omegas voice was soft and devastated and Wade had to swallow back a growl of possessiveness. One shared heat didn’t make the omega his. Not even close.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Wade said softly.

“Wade.” Spidey sounded hoarse, too many hours of screaming his way through his heat ruining his throat. “Wade please… just a few more minutes.”

“It’s better like this.” Wade clenched his fists. “Better like this, Spidey. Your heat broke, you don’t need me sticking around making things weird.”

“But I need–” He cleared his throat. “Coming down is easier with an Alpha.”

“Here.” Wade didn’t even hesitate, just stripped off his shirt and lay it on the bed, remembering too late that Spidey could see in the dark, flinching at the gasp that was overly loud in the dark room. “Just um— it smells like me.”

Wade couldn’t see it, but the deep inhale and resulting whimper told him the omega had grabbed the shirt and was holding it tight.

“I’ll see you around, Spidey.” He said finally and took another step away before he tried to climb back into the bed. “Patrol, right? After you sleep? Make sure you eat something too. Water. You gotta keep hydrated.”

“Yes Alpha.” Came the shaky reply and Wade wanted to howl at that.

“Spidey–”

“My names Peter. Peter.”

“Peter.” Wade whispered. “Get some sleep.”

“You don’t have to leave.” Peter insisted.

“It’s better like this. You don’t want to deal with this mess.”

Wade forced himself out the door, out of the apartment and down the street, snagging a new shirt off a vendor and tossing some money at him.

He didn’t know that Peter had climbed out of bed and out the window and watched him go.

He didn’t know that the omega had collapsed back onto his covers and curled into a ball around Wade’s shirt and cried.

He just kept telling himself it was better like this, and went home to his empty apartment.

  • So what if the next Deadpool movie started like every white teen movie?
  • *valley girl voice* hi, My name's Wade.... And I'm not like those other girls, oh no. I'm not a cheerleader, or emo, or a nerd. I'm just Wade. *pan over to Spider-Man". That's Peter. He is soooo hot. He's like if Ryan Reynolds and Andrew Garfield had a baby. *pans back to him* but me? I'm just Wade. And this is my story * Dirty Little Secret plays*
Ghost of Thornton Hall Theories

Most of the people looking through the Nancy Drew tag are probably looking for MID updates and not more Ghost of Thornton Hall theories, but it’s summer and I have too much time on my hands, so here we go. (All pictures are from the game or an email @nancythedrew sent to HeR)

**Spoilers (duh)**

The Incest Theory

This theory has been around for awhile, but I’m going to explain it in case you don’t know it. It has to do with who Clara’s father is. This is how they describe it in the game:

     For some reason, Rosalie refused to tell her daughter anything about her father, even if it meant Clara would be orphaned. Wade actually got the story a bit off though. If you look at the family tree-

Clara was actually five, not around ten, when her mother died. Wade could be confusing the death of Rosalie with the death of his (and Clara’s) grandmother, Whitney. Rosalie was nine (about ten) when Whitney died. Or maybe this was just a mistake by HeR (but I doubt it). 

The incest theory is that Jackson, Rosalie’s father, is also Clara’s father. When Clara was born, her mother was 25 and her grandfather/ father was 51. Some how in some way Jackson got Rosalie pregnant. Now when I first heard this theory, I dismissed it. It was probably just some crazy fan theory someone made up. But then they mentioned this note that you find in the cellar-

      Later in the game, it’s revealed that Clara (accidentally) killed Charlotte by starting a fire. In the game, they say it’s because Charlotte wrote Clara out of her will and Clara was afraid of being rejected from the family. In the theory, Charlotte tells Clara of her suspicions and that’s what made Clara start the fire.

      As creepy and gross this note seems, some of you may still be skeptical. HeR has to make for ten year olds! They wouldn’t have a secret subplot about a guy doing his daughter.   

 Oh.

The Virginia Theory

The big reveal at the end of the game is a will- Charlotte’s will. 

      What I find interesting is that Charlotte had the estate to give. If she has all the money and land of the Thornton’s, that probably means that she ran the family business too. At first, it made sense to me that Charlotte inherited the estate because Jackson, who was probably the previous owner, died in 1988, the year before Charlotte died. But then I took closer look at the family tree-

      When Jackson died, Charlotte and Clara were 20, Harper was 17, and Wade was 15. Doge and Marianna had died four years before (1984), and Rosalie had died fifteen years before (1973). But Virginia was still alive and breathing at 47! So why would all the inheritance go to a orphaned 20 year old instead of a 47 year old? It’s the 80′s! Doesn’t Charlotte want to go to college or something? Don’t just hand all that responsibility off to someone who can’t legally drink. 

     You could argue that HeR probably stretched the story a little bit so they could set up all the drama with the will, but goshdermit imma make this my own theory.

    So if you do the math, Virginia was the oldest of the three sisters. The middle sister was Rosalie (who was two years younger), and the youngest was Marianna (who was two years younger than Rosalie and four years younger than Virginia). So if we assume that the incest theory is correct, and Jackson really did impregnate his daughter when she was 25 (which would make Virginia 27). Maybe Virginia caught wind. Now I’m not saying that she definitely saw something big- but she probably picked up on some small hints and put it together. 

    Wade, her son, is disgusted by the greed and darkness of the Thorntons. Maybe he learned to be that way from his mother. Maybe it was a mixture of the factory accident that killed 54 workers, the implication that the Thornton’s used slaves (or at least “hired people that couldn’t afford to quit”), and the incest between her family that drove her away. 

     I think that maybe Virginia and Jackson probably had some argument that resulted in Jackson changing the will and giving everything to Charlotte. The question is, when did they have the argument, and when he change the will? Did it all happen around the time Charlotte and Clara were born or did he change it right before he died? My guess is that Virginia kept pretty silent until Rosalie’s death in 1973, when she finally confronted him. Then he changed it to Marianna. In the between Rosalie’s death and Marianna’s, Jackson would be about 56-67. If we look at the book about Dodge and Marianna-

Marianna seems to do all the legwork. My guess is that Jackson was aging and he didn’t want to travel around making deals (This meeting in the book would make Jackson 67) so Marianna helped. Jackson still ran the business, and he probably had final say in every matter. When she died in 1984 (Charlotte was 16) he changed it to Charlotte. He probably expected to live long enough that Charlotte could be well into adulthood (or at least well into her 20′s) before taking on the task of owning and running the Thornton’s money, land, and business. 

    Virginia probably didn’t even know that he had changed the will until he died and Charlotte told her that she inherited everything. By then, she probably realized that Charlotte was too young, but she couldn’t go against the will. Charlotte began to suspect something was up, but Virginia refused to tell her about the incest. But after they talked a few times, Virginia accidentally dropped a few hints and that’s why Charlotte began researching Jackson.

   A couple months later, Charlotte dies and Virginia figures that she’s going to be mentioned in the will. But to her surprise everything is given to Clara. At first she’s shocked, but then she realizes why. Charlotte always knew that she hated the Thornton’s factory and wanted to distance herself from it. She also suspected that Jackson mentioned that Virginia shouldn’t get anything in the will, and Charlotte was trying to respect that, even if she didn’t know why. Virginia wondered if she should’ve told Clara who her father really was, but she just couldn’t do it. Clara was 21. She had a daughter and an entire business to run. Virginia didn’t know what would happen if she ever learned the truth. Maybe Clara would lose her mind like Harper. And then who would be there to run the factory? Her? Her 16 year old son? Virginia didn’t know that Clara already knew.

Speculation about people’s last names /Theories

      Charlotte, Harper, Clara, Wade, and Jessalyn all have the last name Thornton, even though they are connected to the family tree by their mother. Although I’m all for non conforming to the patriarchy, the Thorntons seem to be a very traditional family. It makes sense that Clara would have the last name Thornton because she never knew who her father was. Jessalyn knew her father, Austin Neely, but maybe Clara and Austin were never married. We never hear from or about Austin and he seems to be just a place holder in the family tree. But it doesn’t make sense that Charlotte or Harper have the last name Thornton because their father, Dodge, was present in their lives. The only explanation I can come up with is that Jackson took guardianship over them after Marianna and Dodge died in 1984. Charlotte and Clara were 16 and Harper was 13. We don’t know too much about Jackson, but maybe he was so proud of his roots that he changed the names.

     But why does Wade have the Thornton name? Shouldn’t he be Wade Atchison? He hates the Thornton family business. This is a bit of a stretch, but maybe Luther didn’t want his son to be tied to his name. Wade mentions that his father-

      My guess is that Luther didn’t know how to handle money too well and he knew that giving Wade the last name Thornton would give him more influence and respect. Virginia probably never explained all the dark things that happened in the Thornton family to Luther. So when Wade was born they just gave him the Thornton name. 

     Now maybe I’m over thinking this. Maybe HeR just called them all Thorntons so that the main characters could be part of the ‘Thornton clan’. But still, for the sake of the story line, I’m going with this.

Massage Therapy

Nineteen yo!Peter and Pretty!Wade AU
Idk guys a scene came to me while I was driving so here ya go.
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“Peter, I don’t understand how you strain your back.” Harry shut the door to the fridge in their tiny loft apartment. “You never even go outside. All you do is study.”

“I do stuff.” Peter mumbled and looked away when Harry bent over to get the pans out of the bottom cupboard.

His crush on his best friend was bordering on obsessive, and was definitely unhealthy, but Peter didn’t know what to DO about it. The worst thing was, Harry knew and took every chance he got to smile that wicked smile and run his fingers through that thick hair and basically rub his and MJs relationship in Peters face.

It was like torture every fucking day.

“You don’t do anything.” Harry was still arguing. “But when I strain something when I work out, or you know, marathon sex-” he dropped a flirty wink and Peter wanted to scream. “-I have a guy I go see. Names Wade, he works out of the spa off fifth, you know the place?”

“Yeah.” Peter said shortly, neglecting to mention that he knew the place only because Harry paid for MJ to go, and she always told him about it.

“Go see Wade. He will fix you, I guarantee it. Guys got magic hands, and I feel like you need that. Seems like life’s been–” Harry’s gorgeous eyes dropped lower to Peters lap. “–hard for you lately.”

(Jesus Christ I hate him) Peter thought, but he took the card Harry handed him anyway.
****************
Peter felt weird lying on the massage table in just a towel, exposed and vulnerable and he hated that.
But it was too late now, the receptionist had assured him Wade would be in fairly quickly.

(Oh shit) the door opened right then and Peter sat up nervously.

“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Wade was tall, all muscles wrapped in a tight white shirt and fitted khakis, topped with hazel eyes and dirty blonde hair.

“Uh hey. I’m Peter. You must be–”

“Wishing I hadn’t worn such tight pants.”

Peters mouth dropped. “WHAT?!”

“Uh, what? No I said Wade. My names Wade.” A charming smile that put Harry’s to shame crossed a perfect face and suddenly Peter was very aware that he was just in a towel.

“So.” Wade started dimming the lights, flipping on music. “How do you know that obnoxious prick Osborn? He’s the one who called in your appointment. You guys dating?”

“No. NO. Just friends.”

“Well that little piece of information is going to make this massage so much more fun.”

Peter couldn’t help laughing, tugging at his hair a little in a frankly adorably shy way. “I don’t know what that means.”

Wade just wiggled his eyebrows. “Why don’t you lay down on your stomach there, cutie pie. It’s frowned on for me to ask customers out while they are mostly naked, so please stick around after I’m done so I can get your number.”

Peter rolled over, keeping the towel over his ass carefully. “Why–why do you want my number?”

“Oh my god I already love you.”
****************

My Tree (Part 5/?)

Summary -After getting the trigger words that were implemented from Hydra out of his head, Bucky tries to continue on his life as normal as possible. One day while clearing his head on a walk, he stumbles into a quiet girl that leaves him baffled.

Pairing- platonic!Bucky x reader, avengers x reader

Words- 1511

Tags- @mariah-notcarey17 @purplekitten30 @peanutbutterbuddyfan

Warnings - language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previously

Bucky wandered the men’s section, looking through the racks but not really paying attention. He sighed and checked his watch again. It was twelve minutes since he left you. Shit.

He started walking back to where he thought you were, only to arrive to nothing.

The cart full of clothing was there. But not you.

“Y/N?” He waited for an answer, but when he got none his heart clenched. First time out with you and he already managed to lose you.

“Fuck, fuck, Y/N where are you!” He circled the whole section, calling out your name. He strained his ears.

But it was useless.

He went into the fitting room, that was thankfully empty of other women, and searched. Every stall was empty.

A frustrated groan left his lips as he brought his hands to his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay slow down-”

“I can’t slow down Steve! I fucking lost her, how did I, what if somebody took her! What if it was that guy from before, oh my god I can’t do this.” Bucky started to feel light headed so he grabbed onto the nearest wall to steady himself. “I had one goddamn job Steve!”

“Okay Bucky listen, we’re going to find her okay. She’s most likely still in the store, and if not-”

“She’s not in the store Steve! I checked everywhere! I checked the bathrooms, the fitting rooms, the-“

“Whats wrong Bucky? Did you-”

Pressing end on his phone and shoving it in his pocket, Bucky waited.

That’s when he heard it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grabbing four pairs of bras that looked like they could fit, you made your way to the womens fitting room, only to find every single stall occupied.

Choosing to not wait for someone to finish, you left the fitting room, in search of another.

Turns out that there was only one Womens fitting room. So you had one other option.

The Mens fitting room.

Reaching the fitting room you could barely make out Bucky’s head from afar. His head was moving a little, then you noticed the phone against his ear. He was probably talking to Steve.

Stepping inside you noticed that every single stall was empty. Perfect!

Deciding to go into the biggest stall at the end of the fitting room, you hung the bras on one of the hooks and turned to lock the stall.

“Well hello there.”

Your hand immediately went to your heart as you jumped.

Sitting on the wooden chair shelf that was connected to the wall was a man in a red and black suit. His right leg was crossed over his left one, his arms behind his head while he leaned on the wall.

Your eyes went to the gun that sat to the left of his body. Who was this guy?

“Oh you don’t need to worry about that.” He picked up the gun and spun it in his right hand. When he saw your wide eyes he opened the gun. “I ran out of bullets anyways.”

He put the gun back down and stood up.

“My name is Pool, Deadpool. Or Wade, whatever you like. ” You stared at his right hand, which he held in the air waiting for you to shake.

“Y/N.” You spoke quietly as you shook his hand.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl! So what brings you here Y/N?”

“Uh the women’s fitting room was full. You know I think it might be empty now so I’ll just-” He waved his hands in front of you frantically, ultimately cutting you off.

“Oh come on we just met and you already want to ditch me! That’s not what friends do Y/N!” He turned to sit back down, and patted the area next to him. “I don’t bite, well unless you want me to.”

You laughed lightly and sat down next to him.

“So..” He started.

“So….what?”

“What brings you here!”

“You already asked me that.”

“Yea and I don’t remember getting an answer sweetheart.”

“Well, shopping? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do here. Why are you here? Do you do all your shopping like that?”

“You ask alot of questions Y/N. Well for one, I’m actually hiding from someone who’s trying to murder me. And second, most of the time I wear my suit. Why? Do you like it, I made it myself you know.”

“I’ve seen better.”

“What! Like who huh?” He scoffed staring at you.

“Captain America’s suit is pretty nice. You know Falcons’ suit is pretty good too. Oh and-”

“Okay well that hurt. Are you shopping by yourself? You should be careful there’s a murderer around.”

“I’m with a friend.”

“Is this friend a boy.” He dragged out the word boy and poked your side.

“Yea,” his hands flew up to his face as he gasped, “but he’s like a hundred years old.”

“Why are you shopping with an old man Y/N that’s creepy. ”

“I don’t know, he’s an Avenger you can ask him, I still don’t understand it.”

“An Avenger you say? So he’s still here. Is it Captain America? That man is really something beautiful. It’s really great that they got Chris Evans to play him.” He sighed dreamily and turned back to your confused face eyeing him carefully.

“What?” His white eyes squinted in his suit.

“Never mind.”

“So you’re shopping for bras I see.” You nodded, then he swiftly got up and started walking towards them. You stood up quickly and rushed over to them.

“Hey these are mine.” You slapped his hand as it was reaching for the first one. He gave an exaggerated gasp.

“Well I am just hurt. I am just trying to help you pick out the right one! What else are friends for?” He reached for it again and you slapped it away, just as before. Slowly he retracted his hand back to his side. The fitting room became still.

Suddenly he shoved you backwards and grabbed the bras, then he quickly unlocked the fitting room door.

“You fucker!”

Quickly regaining your balance you dashed after him before he could leave the fitting room.

Diving down you grabbed onto his leg from behind, yanking it backwards. He squealed as he was slammed to the ground on his stomach.

Sitting on top of his legs you snatched the bras from his hand. He turned his head on the ground to look back at you.

“Well that was fun!” He laughed and soon, so were you.

You were about to get up when an exasperated sigh came from the entrance. Looking up you saw Bucky, looking quite disheveled and out of breath.

He started walking towards you and Wade. Getting up, you were about to meet him halfway when Wade spoke up.

“Well hello there. Might I just say that it is an honor to be in the presence of-”

He was cut off when Bucky grabbed him and held him up against the wall.

“Woah Bucky its okay! I’m okay, he’s a friend.” You stared up at him as you held onto his left arm. He tore his eyes away from Wade and looked down at you. He searched your eyes for any hint of discomfort.

When he found none he released Wade and stepped back.

“Thanks for not killing me old man.” Wade brushed off his suit and looked up.

“So what are we gonna do now?”

“We are going to finish shopping and then leave.” Bucky grabbed your hand and turned to leave.

“Can you give me a second.” He answered your whisper with a small nod, and went to stand outside.

“So I guess this is goodbye huh?” He sniffed.

“Wade I’m not dying.”

“You might as well be!”

“Shut up you big baby.” You threw your arms around his midsection and laughed.

He returned the hug and sighed.

“I really like the black one Y/N.” He whispered against your hair. You were confused for a second before you remembered the black bra among the four.

“I’m going to kill you Wade.”

“I love you too.”

He let go and turned towards the door. “Now go before your old man gets angry.”

Nodding you walked towards the door, giving him a final smile and wave. He returned it by blowing a kiss.

“I’ll come visit by the way!” You laughed and walked out, finding Bucky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Bucky walked into the tower, both of you holding shopping bags. Bucky insisted on carrying most of them though.

“So how was it?” Steve popped his head out the kitchen.

“It was great! I made a new friend, he’s great!” He smiled at your overjoyed face and looked at Bucky who just shrugged.

“I’ll go put these in your room.” Before you could protest he grabbed the other bags from your hands and started for your room.

“So who’s this friend?” Sam was seated at the kitchen table sipping from a mug.

“Deadpool.”

Sam choked on his drink, some of it flying out his mouth. Steve on the other hand looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“WHAT?”

Hired Help (Part 2) (Deadpool x reader)

Part 1

Language, obviously, because it’s Deadpool.

“Run, run, run,” Deadpool muttered under his breath, pushing you up off of him with a loud grunt so that you rolled right into the pile of shattered glass.  “I think I just saw someone!”

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