my name is in here somewhere

Of Headbands and Hurt Feelings

based on this post by @fistatfirstklance + yours truly. also @wittyy-name asked me to tag her in this (haha im still screaming) so here we go

It starts as a one time thing.

Pidge had looked down one day, Lance’s older brother instinct had kicked in, and he’d ended up spending twenty minutes trying to string a pretty green stone he’d picked up on a piece of string. Any normal person would’ve just given it to Pidge directly, but Lance thought it’d be more fun to hide it somewhere and wait for Pidge to find it. She’d walked out of Green’s hangar the next morning with the stone around her neck and a smile on her face, and well. It spiraled from there.

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If you are interested in stories with happy endings, then you would be better off somewhere else. In this story, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning, and very few happy things in the middle. My name is Lemony Snicket. It is my solemn duty to bring to light the sorry history of the Baudelaire children as it happened so many years ago. But you in the audience have no such obligation, and I would advise all our viewers to turn away immediately and watch something more pleasant instead. This story will be dreadful, melancholy and calamitous, a word which here means “dreadful and melancholy.” That is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the Baudelaires. Violet, Klaus and Sunny were intelligent children. Charming and resourceful, they had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky. Most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery and despair. I’m sorry to tell you this… but that’s how the story goes.

May my 2017 be as shiny as Yuri and Victor’s engagement rings.
—  Me while crying in the corner because of the feels. 
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movies watched in 2017  →   buried (2010).

My name is Paul Conroy, I’m an American citizen from Hastings, Michigan. I’m a civilian truck driver for Creston Rowland & Thomas. I have been taken hostage somewhere in Iraq. They need 1 Million Dollars by 9 o’clock tonight or I’ll probably be left to die here in this coffin that I’m buried in. I’m told that if the money is paid, I’ll be let go. And if it’s not, I will be left to die here. These threats are real and will be followed through on.

9

「The Quotes of POI」

Merry Christmas

506 Root

Even I appreciate a fairy tale ending, Harry.
Family politics, over-cooked meat,
monogamy. What’s not to love?
———
218 Harold Finch

Some of us don’t get to grow old with the one we love.
I’ll grow old with her,  just from afar.
———
504 sateen shaw

But when things got to be too bad…
there was one place I would go to in my mind.
Here…with you.
You were my safe place.
———
211 Harold finch

Pi, the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter,
and this is just the beginning;
it keeps on going, forever, without ever repeating.
Which means that contained within this string of decimals, is every single other number.
Your birthdate, combination to your locker, your social security number,
it’s all in there, somewhere.
And if you convert these decimals into letters,
you would have every word that ever existed in every possible combination;
the first syllable you spoke as a baby,
the name of your latest crush,
your entire life story from beginning to end,
everything we ever say or do; all of the world’s infinite possibilities rest within this one simple circle.
Now what you do with that information;
what it’s good for,
well that would be up to you.
———
513 The machine

I learned everyone dies alone
But if you mean something to someone
If you helped someone or loved someone
If even a single person remembers you
Then maybe you never really die
And maybe this isn’t the end at all
———
513 The machine

You always thought there was something wrong with you
because you don’t feel things the way other people do.
But she always felt that was what made you beautiful.
She wanted you to know that if you were a shape,
you were a straight line.
An arrow.
———
107/409 Carl Elias

Veni Vidi Vici/Invictus maneo

———
411 Sameen shaw

Life is crap
Welcome to the human race
But the good news is, you are not alone.
———
101 John Reese


When you find that one person who connects you to the world,
you become someone different,
someone better.
When that person is taken from you…
what do you become then?

@6woofs here she is, my husky beagle cross, with me in ‘89. Her name was Nikki. My godmother had an absolutely beautiful husky that she’d gotten somewhere around 5 months old - but she hadn’t been spayed. Well, before they got her in to the vet (The appointment had been scheduled and everything!) she went into heat. Cheryl (my godmother) would bring a pan of rocks with her into the yard when she let the dog out, because their neighbors had a bunch of dogs they let roam loose and if she rattled the pan they’d run off and leave them alone. They weren’t aggressive or anything, but none of them were fixed and that worried her. She was so afraid their big German Shepherd would come into the yard and then she’d have a litter on her hands. Well… one day she forgot the pan of rocks, so she turned and went into the house to get it and when she came out, sure enough the neighbor’s dog was going to town on her beautiful husky. But it wasn’t their GSD, it was their beagle 😂and that’s how we got Nikki!

Nikki was a very gentle and sweet dog, and she loved to run and play. She had a ton of energy but was wonderful with kids of all ages. People always said she looked like a “watered down husky.” She was always very fit and healthy until, sadly, she ended up with cancer. The initial treatments made her swell up like a balloon (like in this photo) and eventually, my parents had to have her put down.

The Last Five Years - Sentence Starters
  • [name] is over and [name] is gone.
  • I'm still hurting.
  • What about things that you swore to be true?
  • Go and hide and run away!
  • Run away, run and find something better.
  • Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn.
  • I've been waiting for someone like you.
  • I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand like an idiot, scared to death.
  • My people have suffered for thousands of years and I don't give a shit!
  • I guess I can't believe you really came.
  • See, I'm smiling--That means I'm happy that you're here.
  • I think we're gonna be okay.
  • With all we've had to go through, we'll end up twice as strong.
  • I didn't know you had to go so soon.
  • We'll have tonight.
  • You know what makes me crazy?
  • I'm sorry, can I say this?
  • You could be here with me or be there with them - as usual, guess which you pick.
  • You can't spend a single day that's not about you and you and nothing but you!
  • I swear to God I'll never understand how you can stand there straight and tall and see I'm crying, and not do anything at all.
  • Things are moving too fast.
  • I won't do anything just half-assed.
  • I met my personal Aphrodite.
  • I'm feeling panicked and rushed and hurried.
  • I'm so happy I can't get worried.
  • Next day it's just like it never happened.
  • And then he smiles - his eyes light up and how can I complain?
  • Yes, he's insane, but look what he can do.
  • I tend to follow in his stride instead of side by side.
  • I said I'd stick it out and follow through.
  • I'm a part of that...aren't I?
  • Maybe your heart's completely swayed, but your head can't follow through.
  • Don't you think that now's a good time to be the ambitious freak you are?
  • You get to be happy!
  • Take a breath, take a step, take a chance - take your time.
  • Have I mentioned today how lucky I am to be in love with you?
  • I'm sharing a room with a "former" stripper and her snake: Wayne.
  • I could shove an ice pick in my eye, I could eat some fish from last July, but it wouldn't be as awful as [fill in what you wish].
  • He wants me, he wants me, but he ain't gonna get me.
  • Son of a bitch, I guess I'm doing something right!
  • 'Cause the torture is just exquisite while I'm waiting for you to visit.
  • We should go meet the dinosaurs.
  • Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?
  • There are so many lives I want to share with you.
  • But if you can just wait I will make it eventually.
  • Not like I'm proud of the fact.
  • I want to be your wife, I want to bear your child, I want to die knowing I had a long, full life in your arms.
  • Will you share your life with me for the next ten lifetimes?
  • There are so many dreams I need to see with you.
  • There are so many years I need to be with you.
  • Everyone tells you that the minute you get married every other woman in the world suddenly finds you attractive.
  • And all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks by and smiles at you and you're like - "That's not fair!"
  • In a perfect world a miracle would happen.
  • I shouldn't care what she thinks since I can't fuck her anyway!
  • Don't despair, I'll be there.
  • I am a good person!
  • Stop looking at that, look at me.
  • Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck.
  • I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by.
  • Can we please for a minute stop blaming and say what you feel?
  • Did you think this would all be much easier than it's turned out to be?
  • If I didn't believe in you, we'd never have gotten this far.
  • Don't we get to be happy at some point down the line?
  • If I'm cheering on your side, why can't you support mine?
  • No one can give you courage.
  • I will not lose because you can't win.
  • He wouldn't leave me alone 'less I went with him to dinner.
  • I guess he was good in bed.
  • He blew me off with a heartfelt letter.
  • I can do better than that.
  • You don't have to change a thing, just stay with me.
  • I want you and you and nothing but you.
  • I don't want to throw up your walls and defenses.
  • It feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on.
  • Think of what's past, because we can do better.
  • Hey, kid - good morning. You look like an angel.
  • I don't remember when we fell asleep.
  • Nobody needs to know.
  • Come back to bed, kid.
  • Hold on, don't cry yet.
  • I won't let you go.
  • Maybe I could be in love with someone like you.
  • Goodbye until tomorrow.
  • I have been waiting for you.
  • I'm not the only one who's hurting here.
  • I don't know what the hell is left to do.
  • I could never rescue you.
  • All I could do was love you hard and let you go.
  • So we could fight, or we could wait, or I could go...
  • I didn't see a way we both could win.
  • Goodbye.

Well hello there. I just realized the submissions are open again.
So like… presenting two of my million ocs! Fabian (on the left) and Fabién (on the right). I know, I know… these names right? But it’s suppossed to be like that. It’s not like their parents thought “Oh, twins, better give them names which almost sound the same!”, cause these two aren’t even related. Fabién is a demon who can’t survive outside of the underworld and… it’s a complicated story, you know… Aaaaaanyways I made an OC blog for my ocs I while ago and if anyone’s interested just like… click here… somewhere

(submitted by @lazerpuppys)

anonymous asked:

Sometimes when my cat is sitting somewhere and I walk past and say his name he'll stand up and kind of arch his back at me while looking at me? What does this mean? His tail will also kind of be half curled above his back, does he do this because he feel threatened by me? Pls help

This is a really good example of a behavior that’s potentially confusing because there are TWO possibilities here!

One is a scared cat.  Here’s a picture of a frightened cat with the behavior you’re describing:

(taken from pinterist)


Here’s a cat who’s just stretching!  Both have their backs arched and tails up, but have different moods. 


So look at your cat’s ear position the next time he does this: are they slightly back, like the frightened cat, or forward, like the stretching cat?  Is his fur puffed out or relaxed (especially on his tail)?  Is he hissing or growling?


most likely, your cat is just stretching.  Like people who have been sitting or lying down for a long time, cats also need a bit of a stretch. 

Ship Ship Shippity Ship // Bones

Prompt from Wattpad: Reader is new to the Enterprise and works on medical. She’s assigned to the position of Bones’ assistant. Kirk TOTALLY starts to ship them together and does crazy pranks n’ stuff to get them together..

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE!

Warnings: There’s swearing somewhere in here.


“So, who’s the new girl?” Kirk asked, smirking. You were walking confidently around the medbay holding PADDs and hypos.

“That’s Y/N L/N,” Bones muttered. “She’s my new assistant.”

“You should invite her to one of the rec rooms sometime,” Kirk muttered, smiling. “I think she’d be a good girlfriend.”

“Eyes off my assistant,” Bones snapped.

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Things Said While Playing Scary Games pt 3

This series ended up being a lot more popular than I thought, so here’s the third installment! Enjoy!

“I’m running amuck, what does it look like?”
“This isn’t weird. I’m just talking. To myself. Alone. In the dark.”
“There’s a free-range lumberjack somewhere out here.”
“BUT I WAS ONCE THE MOST MYSTICAL MAN IN ALL RUSSIA!”
“Thaaaaat’s an old man penis.”
“Get shit on, you hell-beast!”
“[name], you literal piece of flaming dog feces.”
“LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! I’M A MONSTER!”
“I told you to tell me a story but you didn’t have to tell me THAT much.”
“Don’t mind me, I’m just doing the Monster Mash.”
“I will punch you in the head with my legs.”
“See this pipe? It’s going up your ass in two seconds.”
“Look at this miscellaneous hodgepodge!”
“What’s going on in here? Having a party without me? Well fuck you.”
“You’re doing some kind of horrible ritual, I see. Welp. That’s nice.”
“I have a severed head. Does that do anything for ya?”
“Welp, time to bend over and accept my fate.”
“I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!”
“Finally I get a chance to just wreck every fucking thing I see.”
“I know the twist now. I AM the monster.”
“I’m just gonna slow-mo walk out of here like a badass, don’t mind me.”
“I think I see something in the dista–OH GOD!”
“This place has really gone to the donkeys. I’d say ‘dogs’ but dogs are cute.”
“How do you do, you insufferable wanker?”
“[name] can shove it up their ugly ass.”
“You look like Jeff the Killer and I hate you.”
“Get dunked on, nerd.”
“THE HELLEVATOR IS GOING DOOOOWN!”
“Nothing bad ever happens in a portable toilet.”
“GET OFF MY LAWN!”
“I saw your face and thought it was something I cared about.”
“Oh God, I’m a wreck.”
“I thought we were friends! And you betrayed me!”
“I’m sure there was something important to do, but honestly I was too busy singing a song about butts.”

anonymous asked:

was that old man doll in the photo with you an actual doll or a marionette. what is it. it's terrifying

i assume u mean This Dude (pictured here with my pal man bunny)

hes a doll, we got him at a yard sale which had many many horrible dolls. he has a wife somewhere out there who is equally upsetting but we could only purchase one of them bc they were kinda pricy. perhaps someday they will be reunited

his name is mr. clean & he was naked when we got him my mom bought him this outfit to make shit weirder. & then sat him here so he can watch all of us bc thats my moms idear of decorating idfk

he is. Awful & Alarming

Training the New Act

June 16

It’s been two days since I went to the circus.

I have not left.

Finally managed to get my goddamn phone back from those three hooligans. Screen’s cracked in the corner but it’s still usable. I still don’t know how they got the drop on me.

I don’t have any signal but I know they still have my charger somewhere, and there’s an outlet in the corner of their trailer. If I can get even a bar I can call 911 and I’ll have a SWAT team here to save me. In case I die before help is found, my name is Evan Randall. I’m a doctor. The clowns kidnapped me, the act with the three teenagers, the juggler, the crying girl, and the acrobat. Show these bastards the full extent of the law.

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