my mom's talking about make up

Tbh I always thought that the whole “I have eaten the fruit of the land of the death” excuse that Persephone gave her mother was kinda convenient so consider this:

Hades “kidnaps” Persephone, but what he’s really doing is helping his real live actual girlfriend escape the clutches of emotionally abusive/toxic mom Demeter (see “I can’t talk to my daughter for six months so I’m gonna mope and make the rest of the world suffer with me”)

Super clingy mom Demeter shows up and demands her daughter come back with her, using her own emotional stability and the fucking FATE OF THE WORLD as a guilt trip

“I would totally love to mom, but wouldn’t you know it, I ate this one pomegranate seed and as a result I’m stuck here forever so you should probs just leave and forget about me because it looks like I’m dead forev–”

Zeus shows up.

“Nah man, as king of the gods I can totes negate the effect of those pomegranate seeds, and let you go back to the real world with your mom.”

Cue frantic head shaking and silent pleads from Persephone & Hades from behind Demeter’s back for Zeus to shut the fuck up man, that is not the plan. Zeus catches on instantly.

“But only for half the year, because, uh the laws of–you know, biology or some shit?”

The goddess of flowers and the queen of hell quietly contemplates what she will plant on Zeus’s grave after she murders him.

Fluffy/Blushy Sentence Starters

aka “I can feel my cheeks blushing from just thinking about what I want to say to you”

  • “I like the way your hand fits in mine.”
  • “You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”
  • “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”
  • “You can call me whenever you want… Even if you don’t have a reason to.”
  • “I’m bad at texting first, so I always end up hoping you will.”
  • “This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”
  • “Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”
  • “You look really cute in that sweater.”
  • “Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything.”
  • “No, it’s fine.  I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”
  • “No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”
  • “You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”
  • “God, you always make me blush so damn much.”
  • “I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”
  • “Would it be too cliche if we matched clothes a little?”
  • “First second I saw you and I couldn’t get over how beautiful you were.”
  • “I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”
  • “Could you hold my hand?”
  • “You can’t leave without letting me hug you first.”
  • “I really love holding you, darling.”
  • “That pet name was so gushy, but it was also so cute.”
  • “Aw, you’re blushing like a rose.”
  • “Your lips are really warm.”
  • “I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”
  • “No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”
  • “My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”
  • “Wanna, like– I mean, if you’re not busy… We could get lunch? Or even just coffee if you don’t have a lot of time?”
  • “Wow, I didn’t think you could make me smile this big.”
  • “You don’t need to leave so soon.”
  • “You look so comfy, and cuddle-able.”
  • “Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that.”
  • “You’re hiding under the blanket because you’re blushing?”
  • “You make me so happy.”
  • “Don’t give me that puppy dog face.  How am I supposed to say no to that?”
  • “You made these cupcakes for me?”
  • “I look forward to holding you close in bed soon.”
  • “Let’s share my coat, since you’re so cold.”
  • “I can’t believe I got the first date, let alone a year.”
  • “You make me feel so damn gushy.”
  • “How do you always manage to look so captivating?”
  • “Would you mind if I kissed you?”
  • “Are you sugar personified or something?”
  • “I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.”
  • “You’re the perfect height for me to rest my chin on your head.”
  • “I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you.”
  • “Is it cold outside or are you just blushing?”
  • “Yeah… Huh? Oh, sorry I was just thinking about my girl/boyfriend.”
  • “I’m so in love with her/him, I don’t know what do do.”
  • “I remember practicing how to ask you out to the mirror.”
  • Writer’s choice

Send a name and a sentence xx

So, I know how much everybody loves pretend-dating/pretend-marriage fics, but have you considered ‘pretend NOT to be dating/married’ AUs?

For example:

  • My friend is so determined to fix me up with somebody better than my string of casual coffee date/hookup partners that I didn’t have the heart to tell her, after she set us up for a blind date, that I actually met you six months ago

  • We’re both professors in the same department and it enhances your reputation with the students as a mysterious enigma and my reputation as a stone-cold terror if we pretend to hate each other, plus when we back each other up in departmental meetings everybody’s so surprised they give in right away

  • My parents thought I was working for an insurance company in New York when really I was joining the CIA so I just sort of never mentioned when I met you on an assassination-gone-wrong and now we’ve been married for five years and they still don’t know you exist, this has gotten wildly out of hand and you won’t stop laughing about it

  • All your coworkers know you’re married to a cop but now I’m undercover investigating a string of bank heists and it turns out that your only friend at your shitty new job is dating the head bank robber.

  • We’ve been communicating entirely by email/phone/carrier pigeon/paid messenger for the past year as we work to bring some peace and order to this troubled land, so when I walked into the negotiation room to sit down with the fearsome and terrible politician/businessperson/famed warrior that all my people are so afraid of, I didn’t really expect it to be you.

  • I didn’t think my parents could accept me dating somebody of your gender/race/religion/species, so we’ve been keeping it quiet, but now my mom can’t stop talking about her friend’s next-door neighbor and how perfect they’d be for me and you’ve got some nosy neighbor trying to set you up with their coworker’s kid and how do we tell them we’re engaged without making them think it’s because of their completely uninvited meddling?

  • You’ve got to pretend-date your best friend for a couple of weeks because reasons, and somehow that means we’re passing ourselves off as siblings to explain why we live together but we’ve started giving each other really filthy pre-sex looks behind everyone’s back like a game of chicken and pretty soon somebody is going to start to have serious concerns about our siblinghood.



Pretending-not-to-be-dating AUs: add yours today!

SKAMS04E10 Clip 2 - Penetrator Chris

CHRIS: Hey.

EVA: Hey. Did you sleep well?

CHRIS: Mhm.

EVA: Mhm.

CHRIS: I just dreamt something fucked up.

EVA: Yeah, what?

CHRIS: I dreamt that I was at my old elementary school. And we were eating lunch outside, me and Caroline, who was my girlfriend in fourth grade and then you were walking past and I was like “Wow, damn”! And then I walked up to you and I was like “Hey, do you wanna date me?” in front of Caroline.

EVA: What did I say?

CHRIS: You said yes, of course.

EVA: Yes? Of course? Okay?

CHRIS: And that’s supposed to mean…?

EVA: That we’re never going to be together.

CHRIS: Why not?

EVA: Why? Because..

CHRIS: Because?

EVA: Because you.. are..

CHRIS: I am? What am I?

EVA: A cheating fuckboy.

CHRIS: Ouch..

EVA: Hi, Vilde.

VILDE: Hi, what are you doing?

EVA: Nothing in particular…

VILDE: Listen, I wanted to do something nice for Sana at that Eid-celebration, to show her how much we love her.

EVA: Yes! We can do that!

VILDE: So I’ve read a bit about Eid and it’s common to give gifts, but it’s often just to kids and money and stuff, and it’d be a bit weird to give her money. I wanna give her something really special, so do you have any ideas?

EVA: Uhm… No, I don’t know, but we should probably ask someone for some advice, maybe someone who knows more than us,

VILDE: Yeah, I agree. We’ll ask a Muslim.

EVA: Hey, but listen, maybe I’ll call you up a bit later or something?

VILDE: Okayyy!

EVA: Okayyy, bye! Where were we?

CHRIS: We were talking about if we’re going to get together.

EVA: I don’t think so..

CHRIS: You don’t? Because I think you may want to.

EVA: Nooo..

CHRIS: You sure?

EVA: Yes, I’m sure.

CHRIS: Totally sure?

EVA: Yes, very.

MOM: Eva?

EVA: Hide!

CHRIS: Why?

MOM: Hi!

EVA: Hi..

MOM: Oh, I’m sorry! Uhm..

EVA: Uhm.. I have company.

MOM: Yes.

EVA: Uhm.. This is..

CHRIS: Hey! Chris.

MOM: Hi. Chris.

CHRIS: Is your name also Chris?

MOM: Yeah, no, my name is Anne Marit.

CHRIS: Oh, okay. That makes sense.

MOM: Yes.

EVA: Yes.

MOM: I’m sorry for just.. I didn’t know Eva had a boyfriend.

EVA: We’re not together.

CHRIS: Yet.

MOM: Yes, but that’s.. You’ll figure that out.. Okay.

EVA: Oh my God.

CHRIS: Oh, well.

EVA: Why did you stand up?

CHRIS: I had to introduce myself. I was raised well. You have to say hi to people.

EVA: You could’ve introduce yourself another time!

dating zach dempsey includes:

Request: “i was wondering if you could do a zach dempsey x reader thing with fluff about zach being a really cute bf?”

Gif: @zachdempsey


  • him picking you up for school
  • zach tutoring you in biology
  • “i dont think your mom likes me zach”
  • “well, i like you and thats all that matters”
  • he tries to impress you
  • spoons everywhere
  • wearing his basketball jersey to his games
  • being his sister’s best friend
  • forehead kisses
  • his cologne being all over your clothes
  • making out in his backseat
  • movie cuddles
  • zachary
  • going to the winter prom
  • he says i love you first
  • spending valentines together
  • planning on going to college near each other
  • “i can play basketball and study biology while you study…”
  • babysitting with him
  • “my sister’s a heavy sleeper”
  • going to parties
  • playing suck-n-blow
  • zach distancing himself from you after jeff died
  • “zach, i knew him too. i know how you feel. just talk to me.”
  • going on a break after hannah died
  • still talking on a friendly bases
  • noticing his loneliness
  • wondering why his mom drops him off at school
  • “what happen to your car?”
  • “oh, the door just got messed up. it’s fine.”
  • “well, i can pick you up, if it makes you comfortable.”
  • picking up zach for school
  • watching him snoop around clay jensen
  • inviting him to a lunch/study date
  • him opening up to you about hannah
  • “i’m always here, zach.”
prejudice in fantasy lit and the use of metaphor

reallybigshadowhunterstvfan said:

what can you say about making Simon a shadowhunter, Mrs Clare? it seemed odd to me that after a whole series of battling for equality between species/races, the downworlder had to become a shadowhunter. not only he basically ceased being a minority, he also became a part of a privileged community, and it just didn’t sit well with me.

Just for the record — I’m not Mrs. Clare; there is no Mr. Clare. I am married, but my pen name is not my husband’s property. :-) 

I think this is a very interesting question that brings up a ton of issues, but there are some aspects of it I’d love to clarify — for instance, I am puzzled at calling Simon “the Downworlder.” Is he more a Downworlder than Magnus? Things like that actually are really important when discussing stories — if he were the only Downworlder in the story, that would be one discussion, but he isn’t, and therefore his story does not speak for the experience of all Downworlders or even a small fraction. 

I am sorry you were surprised negatively by Simon’s story in TMI. Simon never wanted to be a vampire — he always hated it, and unlike Raphael and Lily, he never joined the community of vampires but instead spent all his time with Shadowhunters. Being a Daylighter had already changed him from being any kind of regular Downworlder, as did bearing the Mark of Cain: both made him even less “the Downworlder” and more of an anomaly. It also separated him from the other Downworlders, who treated him with distrust. In my experience, very few readers expected Simon to remain a vampire, given that it was something he never wanted or got used to, and that it was not his dream. More on that in a bit.

As to the question, to me the suggestion that Shadowhunters are “the privileged” and Dowworlders are as a block “the marginalized” — instead of being a complicated metaphor in which they sometimes but not always stand in for people who have had their rights curtailed —  overly simplifies the situation. It is an argument seems to ignore the fact that in fact, humans exist along axes of privilege and marginalization: that people can be privileged in one way and marginalized in another and that when Simon becomes first a Downworlder and then a mundane and then a Shadowhunter, he is not moving clearly from marginalization to privilege, but rather exchanging some types of privilege for others (he remains white as a Downworlder, and is a Daylighter), and exchanging some types of marginalization for others (the marginalization of being a Downworlder for the marginalization of being a mundane-born Shadowhunter and a Jew in a world where Shadowhunters are meant to have one religion). 

Because the argument disclaims spectrums of privilege and marginalization, it also suggests that the world of the Shadowhunter Chronicles is one in which there are no gay or POC or trans people in existence; one in which there is no racism, homophobia, ableism, cis privilege, or bigotry against the neuroatypical. But that is both problematic erasure, and also not true of these books. Downworlders don’t stand in for people of color or LGBTQ+ people because people of color and LGBTQ+ people are in the books; they have not been subsumed into metaphor. (I know the showrunners said there was no homophobia in the Shadowhunter world, only warlock-phobia, but that’s the show, not the books, and it has a different world and world-building. I notice this is a question I get since the show came out, and I sometimes wonder if it’s a question of confusion between the two different universes? It’s easy for that to happen.)

Fantasy prejudice metaphors are complex and confusing and they rarely work as a one to one comparison (in other words, there is a difference between saying that this fantasy situation is reminiscent of this real world thing and saying this fantasy situation is exactly the same as this real world thing. For instance, one of the really interesting things about True Blood is that it made many deliberate parallels between “vampire rights” and GLBT+ rights — referring to vampires “coming out of the coffin” and “God Hates Fangs” on church signs. However, its vampires were also often violent predators who killed and ate people. The argument that Simon “basically ceased being a minority” (while, somehow, remaining Jewish) is similar to making an argument that True Blood was saying that gay people kill and eat their neighbors; I’m fairly sure in fact, they weren’t. They were reaching for a resonance — the echo of a real world situation that would give a layer of relatability and meaning to their points about difference. But they were not creating a literal “these things are the same” comparison or they wouldn’t have had vampires chewing off people’s heads.

So: are Downworlders discriminated against? Yes, sometimes, by Shadowhunters, who are a small specific group. Do they “stand in” for a specific minority group? No, they cannot, because they are accessible as a metaphor to any marginalized group or groups whose rights have been abridged. Also: the world at large does not discriminate against Downworlders because they do not know they exist, nor do they privilege Shadowhunters because they don’t know they exist either. It would be one thing if this was a high fantasy and Shadowhunters and Downworlders were all there was, but these books are set in our world, and the characters experience real-world bigotry, racism, homophobia etc. because of it.

Alec sighed. “Sorry to wreck your vision of our happy family. I know you want to think Dad’s fine with me being gay, but he’s not.” 

“But if you don’t tell  me when people say things like that to you, or do things to hurt you, then how can I help you?” Simon could feel Isabelle’s agitation vibrating through her body. “How can I—” 

“Iz,” Alec said tiredly. “It’s not like it’s one big bad thing. It’s a lot of little invisible things. When Magnus and I were traveling, and I’d call from the road, Dad never asked how he was. When I get up to talk in Clave meetings, no one listens, and I don’t know if that’s because I’m young or if it’s because of something else. I saw Mom talking to a friend about her grandchildren and the second I walked into the room they shut up. Irina Cartwright told me it was a pity no one would ever inherit my blue eyes now.” He shrugged and looked toward Magnus, who took a hand off the wheel for a moment to place it on Alec’s. “It’s not like a stab wound you can protect me from. It’s a million little paper cuts every day.”

 *** 

“He hurt you. It was a long time ago, and I know he tried to make up for it, but—” Bat shrugged. “Maybe I’m not so forgiving.” 

Maia exhaled. “Maybe I’m not either,” she said. “The town I grew up in, all these spoiled thin rich white girls, they made me feel like crap because I didn’t look like them. When I was six, my mom tried to throw me a Barbie-themed birthday party. They make a black Barbie, you know, but they don’t make any of the stuff that goes with her—party supplies and cake toppers and all that. So we had a party for me with a blonde doll as the theme, and all these blonde girls came, and they all giggled at me behind their hands.”

***

If we carry the theory through (Shadowhunters are THE privileged, Downworlders are THE marginalized) that means that Alec, as a gay Shadowhunter, is more privileged than Simon, a straight vampire. That Ty, who would be locked in a mental institution if the Clave discovered his autism, is privileged beyond white, rich, immortal and powerful Malcolm Fade. It’s saying that when Cristina encounters a wealthy, white, straight, misogynist male werewolf in Lady Midnight who tries to force sexual attention on her, she, a Latina woman, is the one who is the privileged character because she is a Shadowhunter and he is a Downworlder (though Sterling has arguably, given that he lives outside the supernatural world, never experienced a whit of prejudice because of it.) So I’m sure you can see where the problem lies.

It also erases Simon’s Judaism entirely. Stating without caveat that Simon has become “part of a privileged community” means ignoring the fact that Simon is Jewish; that he decides in Tales that he will continue to practice, and that he was the only Jewish protag written by two Jewish authors that I’m aware of having been on the bestseller lists last year. He didn’t think about being a vampire as he was preparing to transform — he never wanted to be one or consented to be one, nor was he part of the community, as Raphael constantly pointed out — though he does later think of having previously been a Downworlder when interacting with vampires and Shadowhunter prejudices. He thought of the important thing to him: his Judaism, which he both couldn’t and wouldn’t give up. To me it is personally painful to think that for any reader, Simon’s status as a vampire is more significant than his status as a practicing Jew.

I think sometimes it is possible to invest yourself so heavily in a metaphor that you forget the real world that surrounds the metaphor and the flexibility of metaphors in general. The Shadowhunter/Downworlder situation could stand in for the systemically privileged and marginalized of our world: sometimes it does. However it also can stand in for the way totalitarian governments abuse their own people: there are echoes in Shadowhunter history and current events of the Cambodian genocide, of Stalinist violence against intellectuals and resistors. There are also echoes of police brutality — what Shadowhunters have is the privilege of the Law, specifically: the Law is what allows them to enact bigotry in the name of justice, and when they abuse their jobs, it has resonances of the way police can abuse their jobs and use the privilege conferred on them by their authority to murder and abuse the helpless and marginalized. There are also echoes of the way soldiers carry out immoral orders given by superiors: the Shadowhunters are taught to be obedient to the Clave, and one of the ways we know who our Team Good is in any TSC series that they question that obedience. All of these are echoes and resonances: they are not saying that the Shadowhunters are the police, or the US military, or the Khmer Rouge; the resonances provide context and hopefully add a sense of realism to a situation that is fantastical in its nature.

 (It’s also a wise idea not to so totally buy what the Shadowhunters are selling about themselves. They think they’re special and better and awesome, but the books constantly question and problematize that. Shadowhunters also pay a high high price for their runes and their sense of superiority: they die young and often and experience brutal constant violence and the pressures of a repressive society that allows for little divergence from an idealized norm.)

There are reasons that the Downworlders were never constructed to be a specific marginalized group and their situation was never meant to be limited in its relatability to one situation— for instance, it’s very hard to not look askance at the argument that Downworlders are meant to be specific “race” when you can become a Downworlder and then stop being one: when you can, as Simon does, change what kind of magical creature you are, because there is absolutely no correlation between that and what race or ethnicity means in our world. 

 So yes, Simon becomes a Shadowhunter: however, what I don’t see acknowledged here is not just his ethnicity and religion, but the fact that he becomes a Shadowhunter partly because he is aware of the prejudice of Shadowhunters, and fights against the bigotry they show not just to Downworlders but also to their own. He is part of Magnus and Alec’s Shadowhunter-Downworlder Alliance. He continues to work for change from within the system, arguably something almost no one else could do, because there are almost no other Downworlders who have become Shadowhunters. It is odd to me to consider Simon as simply ascending to a height of blithe privilege when he is fact much more like someone who has become a police officer in order to root out corruption and racism in the police, and brings his own knowledge of marginalization (which he still experiences) with him.

That is why Simon in Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy is constantly fighting and bending the rules in the name of his evolving social conscience, though I understand if you haven’t read TfTSA. One of the things about having had a flood of new readers enter fandom because of the TV show is that I’ve seen a lot of arguments based on the idea that TMI is the entire story of Downworlders and Shadowhunters, or the entire story of these characters. I see people talking about characters getting a happy or sad ending in TMI even when those characters go on to feature heavily in the sequel books and could by no reasonable account be considered to have any ending, happy or sad — unless you thought TMI were the only Shadowhunters books that existed rather than a chunk of a larger ongoing mythology. In no sense has Simon’s story ended: you have no idea if he will remain a Shadowhunter or not. Perhaps if you consider the fact that TMI is not a story that has ended for Simon, but rather one that continues, the fact that he has now been two magical species and might well move on to become another will sit less poorly with you? After all, this is not “after a whole series of battling for equality between species/races” this is “in the middle of a whole series of battling for equality between species/races.” Usually the middle of a story isn’t the place it’s best to draw all your conclusions from. :-) 

SKAM S04E03 Clip 4 - Didn’t Talk About Him

[MOM: Are you gonna serve anything to your guests on Friday? Dad and I are going to be home late, but I could make something to heat up?]
[SARA: It’s ok with alcohol at the bus meeting, right?]
EVEN: Hey.
SANA: Hi!
EVEN: How are you?
SANA: Yeah.
EVEN: I heard you and Isak have been talking about Mikael.
SANA: Oh, yeah. He saw a picture of Mikael on my Facebook.
EVEN: Okay.
SANA: We didn’t talk about him or anything.
EVEN: How are the boys doing?
SANA: Good.
EVEN: What is Elias doing these days?
SANA: Elias is taking a gap year. Just messing around, as usual. Living off of mom and dad.
EVEN: You have to say hi to your mom from me and say that I miss her shish barak.
SANA: I’ll do that.
ISAK: Hey.
EVEN: Hi! I was just asking Sana where you were.
ISAK: Yeah, I’m here. You joining McDonalds with Jonas and I?
EVEN: Of course.
ISAK: Lovely. You joining?
SANA: No thanks.
ISAK: Okay. Wanna bail?
EVEN: Yeah.
ISAK: Good bye.
SANA: Bye.
EVEN: Talk to you later.

Barry the BearBug

This is the same game with Dary the Dancing Goblin. Our party of a rouge teifling, a warrior half-orc, a wizard dragon, and a cleric human are hiding behind a rock in a cave. Further ahead we see a large bonfire with two goblins and a bearbug, and a wolf.

Me (tiefling): I’m gonna use my thaumagurgy cantrip. I wanna use it to make it sound like the goblins are talking shit.

DM: *nervous laughing* Ok, what do you wanna say?

Me: I close my eyes and concentrate on making the sound appear near the right of the bugbear, and it says “This bugbear is so stupid, I bet his mom was a whore”

DM: Um…ok, you do that and the bugbear starts to get pissed.

DM(as bugbear): WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOM ILL HAVE YOU KNOW SHE’S A VERY GOOD PERSON!!

DM (as Goblin 1): Wha- Barry we didn’t say anything, we were just sitting here!

Me (OOC): I can do this spell up to three times, right?

Me: I use the cantrip again to make it sound like the second Goblin is saying “Stupid piece of shit, I bet she was a piece of trash if she made you”

DM (as bugbear): He whirls around to the second Goblin, “YOU THINK IM STUPID HUH?? Well let’s see how stupid you are when you’re DEAD!!”

Me (OOC): Hey guys, remember when my character stole some Goblin arrows?

DM: Oh no.

Me: I load a goblin arrow into my short bow and hit Barry so it looks like the other Goblin did it. (Successfully rolls)

DM: Okay, so Barry the Bugbear is now enraged and starts smashing the face of the first Goblin. And the other Goblin grabs his weapon and I can’t believe I’m doing this…

He then proceeds to rp the whole fight, which ends with two goblins dead and a damaged bugbear. Our party gets found out by Barry when the half-orc smashes the wolf into pulp.

DM (Barry): YOU KILLED MY DOG!!! I’LL KILL YOU!

Half-orc: Bet that dog looked cuter than your mom.

We then got the bugbear to walk into his own bonfire and easily killed him.

DM: You know this was supposed to be a boss battle?

Me: Not anymore!

Angel in the Darkness (M) pt.4

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

A/N:This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (masturbating, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use……(alot of smut comes in later) This is a mature read! You have been warned!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5



“You’re a mistake! You should have never even been born!” the group of nine-year old’s like yourself, taunted you.

You were mindlessly walking outside during recess, until a group of kids from your class cornered you. They formed a circle around you, deciding to remind you of what kind of blasphemy you were.

“Just leave me alone!” you screeched back at them, just wanting to distance yourself. You tried to leave, but there was no escape, as they would just push you back into the middle of the circle.

“Where are you going you little bitch?” a boy who was a bit taller than you mocks.

When you glare at him to try to push past, he shoves you roughly back, making you fall on the cold cement. You cringe when you skid against the ground, layers of skin from your elbows and hands being ripped off.

Each of them laugh at you, as you just sit still on the ground, not daring to look up at them. Why did this always have to happen to you?

Keep reading

High school reunion AU for @zimmbitty who planted the idea in my head. I hope my loss sleep makes you happy.

-

An AU where Jack and Bitty happened to go to the same high school for maybe a year or two. (Here their age difference is around 3 years.)

How you ask? Coach is filling in temporarily maybe not as a Football coach but in some other position. It doesn’t matter *waves hands to misdirect from possible plot holes* just go with it…

Bitty is still into figure skating and in this high school, they have an actual ice skating ring in the premises!!!

And his skating lessons are usually before the hockey team plays. At first, he avoids the team but slowly realises they didn’t really care what he did so long as he left the ice on time.

Then Bitty started watching the practices and hockey looked kind of fun, (if you ignored the checking…) and maybe if he got into hockey he and Coach would have more stuff in common to talk about.

So one day after hockey practice is over, Bitty sneaks back into the ice with a broken hockey stick he found in the dumpster and put back together with duct tape and a flatted out can, and starts trying to get a hang of how the sport works.

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SKAM - 4.01 - SLAVE

[Inaudible chatter]

Hello?

Yousef said so, man!

GUY1: He has tried ten times and he still can’t do it! Shhh! Wait, let me listen.

YOUSEF: I can’t hear! Relax, guys.

ELIAS: What did I say?

SANA: What’s up?

MIKAEL: Hey, let’s make Sana try.

GUY2: She’ll make it, she’ll make it, bro. She’s actually good at basket. She can actually throw, unlike some other people here.

ELIAS: She learned from me, though.

SANA: What are you talking about learned from you? Even mom is better than you.

ELIAS: I’ll be your slave for a whole week if you make it.

THE GUYS: Dude, don’t.. don’t do it.

ELIAS: I’m confident, man. I’m sure.

SANA: Drive me around wherever I want? Clean my room?

ELIAS: Whatever you want, the works.

SANA: Swear it.

ELIAS: Wallah. And these guys here are witnesses.

THE GUYS: Noooo..

ELIAS: It’ll be okay, bro. Chill out. I’ll fix it.

SANA: What do I have to do?

GUY2: You have to throw this into the lamp exactly when Snoop Dogg says «Smoke weed every day»

SANA: Just that?

ELIAS: But you have to be my slave for a whole week if you miss.

SANA: That was not a part of the deal.

ELIAS: Because you said «just that». What? Are you scared of failing? You’re so confident, come on.

SANA: Give me the ball.

THE GUYS: You’re gonna regret this.

ELIAS: I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it.

GUY2: I’m looking forward to see Elias crying.

Ahhhh, too early.

ELIAS: Now, can you please make some tea for us?

SANA: I’m not all all your friends’ slave.

ELIAS: But they’re my guests.

ELIAS: Thank you, slave woman! That came out wrong, sorry. Chill. That was wrong of me.

THE GUYS: That’s your sister!

ELIAS: Stop meddling! Relax!

customer satisfaction

Originally posted by shitohsehun

woozi x reader smut

20,480 words

a/n: my first woozi fic, my first seventeen fic, my first kpop fic. this was supposed to be something really simple and silly, but my dumb ass had to go and add a bunch of sadness and backstory to it, as always. as you can see, it got dramatically out of hand. i’m so sorry, i hope someone likes it

~ in which you haven’t gotten off in like six months, and lee jihoon is the pleasure specialist, himself. (he’s also a little bit more than that.)


     “I promise you, you won’t regret this,” Wendy reassured you, but they were words she always said right before she convinced you to do something that you definitely would regret. She’d used them very often over the past year, during which she’d somehow convinced you to go on roughly thirty blind dates that she’d set up in her desperate attempts to get you “back out there.” You knew her heart was in the right place, but every single date had been a disaster. The problem was that if she knew a guy who wasn’t already taken, there was a reason for it. The first set-up been with a guy named Jinho who still lived with his ex-girlfriend (in a one bedroom apartment) and adamantly refused to wear deodorant; one guy, Jinwoo, told you he had recently quit his job and moved back in with his parents because he hadn’t had enough time to play League; you’d tried so hard to will yourself to forget the second to last guy, but how could you forget the name (Daehyun) of someone who sat down across from you and proceeded to ignore you for the whole two hours it took him to eat a salad, baked potato, and two steaks before “suddenly realizing” he forgot his wallet, telling you he didn’t think you were his type, and leaving you to foot the bill.

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anonymous asked:

Is it normal that I still feel uncomfortable talking about lgbt stuff with my mom and my sister even though I came out to both of them? Whenever the topic comes up in a conversation I try to change the subject, even if they're not talking about me

Honestly, I was uncomfortable talking about lgbt stuff after I came out too. When you go from hiding something for so long it can make you feel ashamed of that part of you. I think it just takes time getting used to the idea that people know about this part of you that you kept locked away. It’s not something that just happens overnight, you might not even realize how much easier it’s getting for you until one day it just smacks you in the face that you’re talking about things with zero hesitation. It’s such a nice feeling, you have something really great to look forward to!

i look in the mirror, bags under my eyes, my hair up in a messy bun. heavy sadness in my eyes. baggy clothes. i just don’t care what i look like, i don’t care about anything

“you need to eat, you’re loosing weight like crazy.” yeah except i’m not hungry at all. i feel sick all the time. so i just keep drinking my powerade.

my eyes are bloodshot from crying for hours. my mom lays there with me and let’s me cry and tries to comfort me. the headaches always there.

i try to talk to new guys but nobody makes me feel anything. all i see is him when i close my eyes. i can’t escape him.

i go into my room and open the box with the note he wrote. “i’ll always love you.” i’m filled with anger as i throw things against the wall in a rage. just being in this room feels like the ghost of him is still here. how can someone love you so much, then they just don’t anymore?

i just want to sleep but i can never stay asleep. i wake up at 230 everyday and can never go back to bed. i’m so tired. my mind and body. is this what it feels like to die? because that’s what this feels like. it’s so much effort to make it through the damn day.

tick
tick
tick

waiting for time to go by because that’s what heals you right? so i wait and i wait. then i realize i have been staring at the wall for 20 minutes. how did i not notice?

“come out with us it will be fun!” i don’t want to go, i have to make myself. i don’t even know what fun is anymore. but i try, i plaster on the fake fun. because nobody wants to see the sad girl who can’t get over the guy who left her suddenly. so i pretend. but i feel like i’m suffocating the whole time. it’s exhausting to pretend.

when people talk about love, they never mention this part. it amazes me how one single person can destroy you and strip away everything that you are. i think of the girl i used to be. i want so badly to get back there. i worry that i’ll never be her again. and deep down i know that i won’t be. i know that i’ll survive, i’ve seen it in many others. it just nearly kills you in the process.

—  Chapters from my life
I thought you weren't going to be a bitch!?

Me: I’m going to do my best to not play a total bitch character this time.
DM: alright sounds good.

*in session, 4 PCs meet. Their parents have known each other for years. Many of them having sexual relations during their travels*

*my Tiefling gets into an argument with the half dragon, while 2 others watch*

Tiefling: Well I know that your mom was kinda crazy. So you looking as scary as you do makes a lot of sense.
Half Dragon: Who the hell do you think you are talking to me about my family like that? You don’t know my parents?
Tiefling: What are you talking about? My mom has fucked your parents!

Everyone (out of character, to me): WHAT THE FUCK!!
DM: You said you wouldn’t be a bitch!
Me: I’m sorry guys…..

The DM got up and walked away shortly after.

#1-126 Prompts for any Character!!

Okay!! So, you can pick any of these prompts for any character you want at any time. Thanks!!!!


1. “This isn’t gonna end well!”

2. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

3. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!

4. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.”

5. “Well, this is where I live.”

6. “Oh my God! You’re in love with him/her!”

7. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”

8. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.”

9. “I am not losing you again.”

10. “Why don’t they just kiss already?”

11. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”

12. “All I wanted was your honesty.”

13. “Why do you keep pushing me away?”

14. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.”

15. “I’ve never felt this way before….and it scares the shit out of me.”
16. “Don’t fucking touch me!”

17. “Are you really taking his side against me?”

18. “Wait a second are you jealous?”

19. “I wish I could hate you.”

20. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her/him.”

21. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”

22. “Come over here and make me.”

23. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

24. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

25. “I thought you were dead.”

26. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.”

27. “I love you, you asshole.”

28. “You did this for me?”

29. “You can’t protect me.”

30. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”

31. “Promise me you’ll look after your mom.”

32. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”

33. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”

34. “The way you flirt is shameful.”

35. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.”

36. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”

37. “I want to go back to before….”

38. “I just wanted an easy day with my girlfriend/boyfriend. What’s so wrong with that?”

39. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”

40. “Why are you up so early?”

41. “Please, take me instead!”

42. “You braided his hair?”

43. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”

44. “Have you lost your damn mind?!”

45. “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”

46. “I’m your daughter.”

47. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.”

48. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”

49. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”

50. “Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.”

51. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me to hate you?”

52. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life.”

53. “I’m not happy here.”

54. “If he’s going to treat you like shit I’m going to kick his ass.”

55. “I just want to cuddle and watch Friends.”

56. “You’re hiding something from me.”

57. “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

58. “I want my best friend back.”

59. “You better have a good reason for waking me up at the ass-crack of dawn.”

60. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

61. “A wedding?”

62. “I just want to be alone right now.”

63. “Don’t you dare to ever do that again!”

64. “Where would someone hide in a town like this?”

65. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”

66. “I thought you were a dream come true.”

67. “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

68. “I came here to explain what happened, and I’m not leaving until you listen.”

69. “I made a mistake.”

70. “H-How long have you been standing there?”

71. “You can’t break my heart like this!”

72. “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”

73. “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

74. “I’ve moved on.”

75. “This is why you don’t ever have any shirts to wear.”

76. “Run, and don’t ever look back.”

77. “The three seconds rule doesn’t apply to sticky foods.”

78. “I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.”

79. “Please, don’t give up on me.”

80. “When are you going to realize that I don’t care?”

81. “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”

82. “When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

83. “Fuck…I feel I’ve been hit by a car.”

84. “Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

85. “I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

86. “I’m tired of being your secret.”

87. “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly it seems quite dangerous.”

88. “Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

89. “Let me tell you exactly where in hell you can go.”

90.“Who gave you that black eye?!”

91. “After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”

92. “I miss her so damn much, and it’s killing me that she’s gone!”

93. “What the hell are you doing here?! I told you I never wanted to see you again!”

94. “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

95. “Are you drunk?”

96. “I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
97. “You got her pregnant?! What were you thinking?”

98. “It’s okay baby, I’m here for you.”

99. “You say the nastiest things when you’re angry, so yes, I’m walking away from you now.

100. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

101. “My parents asked about you.”

102.“Oh, gosh, you’ve insulted me! What ever shall I do? I’ll be mentally and emotionally scared for years!”

103. “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”

104. “Do you need me to get anything from the store?”

105. “They say I’m in here because I’m crazy, I think I’m crazy because I’m in here.”

106. “There’s no getting out of this. You ruined me”

107. “If you don’t want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don’t just lie and say it’s fine.”

108. “I was going to kiss him, but then my friend texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.”

109. “Don’t say you love me.”

110. “It’s a hobby of mine to prove you wrong.”

111. Meeting him/her for the first time

112. Him/her asking you out

113. Your first date

114. Your first kiss

115. Cuddling with him/her

116. Neck kisses

117. “I swear I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

118. “Why are you wearing my shirt? Please, don’t take it off. It looks good on you.”

119. Going on a vacation together

120. Going to an amusement park together

121. Dancing together

122.Him/her rescuing you (if the person you want can do that ex. superhero)
123. Your first time

124. And what did we learn from that?” “Not to mess with you.”

125.Comforting him/her after a nightmare

126. The wedding day

“Mother has been poisoned !” - Batfam x Reader (batmom)

Ok, Imma translate @laetitia-prst​‘s request (my fellow French person yo), so, basically : 

SUMMARY : Batmom has been poisoned by a new villain who wants to get known by killing the famous Bruce Wayne’s wife/partner. The batfamily is on edge, they gotta save her, because they’d be nothing without her…And then laetitia-prst talks about the ending and important plot points but hey, no fun if I translate that too right ? So here for poisoned bat mom,I feel like maybe it’s going a bit fast ? I didn’t really wanna make more than one part for this story so it’s long, and I’m afraid I might have rushed some things up…I hope you’ll still like it :s :  

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

__________________________________________________

You were with Damian, asking some mango juice at the bar for him (the barman was being a dick, and refused to serve your son because “he was too young”, even though he didn’t want an alcoholic drink, so your quite annoyed self went to get it for him), when things went south. 

-Mother ? Mother are you alright ?! MOM !

You don’t really know what happened. You felt a painful prick on your thigh, where your fancy dress was opening slightly, as if you just got stung by a wasp, and all of a sudden…Everything went blurry. Next thing you know, your youngest son is trying to catch you before you hit the floor, and his arms are holding you with all his strength, as if afraid you’d disappear. 

-Father, father ! Dad ! DAD !! 

You can feel Damian shake, but you can’t see properly the line of his face…his distress is making your heart tighten, and you have to reassure him but when you try to raise a hand to cup his cheek and stroke it gently, nothing happen.

You hear more than you see Bruce falling on his knees next to you. You feel his hands taking you away from Damian, you feel your son resisting a bit, reluctant of letting you go, you feel yourself raising from the floor…But you don’t get it. 

What is happening ? 

Your vision is even more blurry than a few minutes before, and the last thing you hear before drifting into total darkness is Bruce saying : 

-What the Hell happened ? 

Everything goes dark as you fell unconscious. Your husband feels you go limp in his arms, but before he can really react, a man in the assistance, wearing a gaz mask and khakis stands on a table and, with his best evil laugh, says : 

-My names is Mutagen, and you can bet that by the end of this week, I’ll be the most famous criminal in all Gotham. Spread the word, especially to Batman.  

Jason almost catch him on the spot, but the man jumps out the window and disappears…Who the hell was he ? 

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Writing Prompts

To celebrate me reaching 1.8k, Send me a number and a character and I’ll write a drabble. 

(from different sources, so credit to all)

1. “I don’t want to have a baby.”
2. “Did you enjoy yourself last night?” 
3. “Are you kidding me? We’re not ‘fine’!
4. “You’ve only heard his side of the story. You never asked for mine.”
5. “Well, this is where I live.” 
6. “Oh my God! You’re in love with him/her!”
7. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
8. “For some reason I’m attracted to you.” 
9. “I am not losing you again.” 
10. “Why don’t they just kiss already?” 
11. “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.” 
12. “All I wanted was your honesty.” 
13. “Why do you keep pushing me away?” 
14. “I can’t explain right now, but I need you to trust me.” 
15. “I’ve never felt this way before….and it scares the shit out of me.” 
16. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
17. “Are you really taking his side against me?”
18. “Wait a seconds are you jealous?” 
19. “I wish I could hate you.” 
20. “I’m sorry if this upsets you, but I’m going to marry her/him.” 
21. “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.
22. “Come over here and make me.” 
23. “This is by far the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.” 
24. “You’re the only one I trust to do this.” 
25. “I thought you were dead.” 
26. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about what’s best for all of us.” 
27. “I love you, you asshole.” 
28. “You did this for me?”
29. “You can’t protect me.”
30. “You know I wouldn’t do this if I had any other choice.”
31. “Promise me you’ll look after your mom.”  
32. “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.” 
33. “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
34. “The way you flirt is shameful.”
35. “I waited and waited, but you never came back.” 
36. “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
37. “I want to go back to before….”
38. “I just wanted an easy day with my girlfriend/boyfriend. What’s so wrong with that?”
39. “Go then, leave! See if I care!”
40. “Why are yo up so early?”
41. “Please, take me instead!”
42. “You braided his hair?” 
43. “She’s been missing since Friday and you’re not worried?”
44. “Have you lost your damn mind?!”
45.  “Please don’t argue. You have to leave right now, you aren’t safe here.”
46.  “I’m your daughter.”
47. “I’m not surprised that you murdered him.” 
48. “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?” 
49. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”
50. “Don’t use me as an example. I wasn’t a good kid.”

The Friendly Wager (Part 3)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,978

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, complete and utter denial, social drinking, cheese - I needed something this fluffy ok? haha

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 -

Originally posted by talkinboutmyimagination

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um every time I think about Trimberly going to Prom all I imagine is Kimberly, for once, actually being excited to go to a school event 

  • Kimberly doesn’t care, she wears this bright yellow suit to prom, and Trini wears a pink one 
    • They have pocket squares of their own colors 
    • Trini parents are upset at first, but Trini’s dad supports it whenever Trini’s mom isn’t around 
    • Kimberly thinks Limo’s are overrated, so Trini takes that as picking her up by sitting in the back of Jason’s trunk with a sign saying, “Kimberly is my most favorite person ever” 
  • The boys all switch up each others colors, and Zack sneaks in some vodka 
  • Before Trimberly show up they take pictures in front of Kim’s house, and more than half of the pictures are either blurry because Kim’s dad can’t seem to work the phone, or the boys are photobombing it 
    • There is this really cute one of Kimberly kissing Trini’s forehead and it immediately joins one of the many pictures in Kim’s room, and it’s one of her favorites 
    • Trini gets it and puts it in her wallet and her locker 
  • Everyone is jealous of how good the Rangers look when they show up 
  • Zack gets drunk and goes on stage and grabs a microphone, “This speech is for my mom, who’s the coolest mom ever, and for my best friend who looks like a little bird that will kill you.” 
    • Everyone knows he’s talking about Trini, and when one of the lights find her, she’s in the corner making out with Kimberly 
    • Kimberly has to stop Trini from killing Zack
    • Billy doesn’t understand what exactly happened, so Jason tried to explain to him, but kept laughing 
    • When Zack finally gets kicked out they drive him to sonic to get him his favorite milkshake