my mom tells me i'm pretty

  • *Mom walks into room without knocking*
  • Me: When in the twenty first century did people forget how to knock?
  • Mom: Are you wearing boxer briefs?
  • Me: Why are you here again?
  • Mom: I was wondering if you have any dirty laundry.
  • Me: When did you start washing my laundry?
  • Mom: Since you were born.
  • Me: I've been doing my own laundry since like middle school.
  • Mom: So why are you wearing underwear usually made for boys?
  • Me: I don't know if you remember, but I'm gay.
  • Mom: Honey, you're a lesbian. I'm gay.
  • Me: What?
  • Mom: I like guys. I'm gay. You like girls. You're a lesbian.
  • Me: Seriously, mom?
  • Mom: Is that why you wanted to do your own laundry? Because I could never differ your flannels and underwear from your brother? I also couldn't tell who's snapbacks were whose. Speaking of which your brother's girlfriend left her flannel on the couch. It looked a bit big for her though so I thought she was just wearing your brother's until I saw your initials on the tag. And I'm pretty sure you two don't have the same initials. I also know that I've made it habit for you to put your initials on your tags since you were a kid. So please tell me why your brother's girlfriend was wearing your shirt?
  • Me: *Fidgets uncomfortably* I mean she's kind of my ex and never actually returned a couple of my flannels, but looks like I got one back huh?
  • Mom: JFC, are you for real?
My Coming Out Story
  • Me: Mom, I have something to tell you. It's pretty serious you may want to sit down.
  • Mom: Okay..
  • Me: This isn't easy for me to tell you and I've been meaning to tell you for a little while now..
  • Mom: *Starts crying*
  • Me: Why are you crying? You don't even know what I'm going to say.
  • Mom: BECAUSE I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A GRANDMA!
  • Me: ...What?
  • Mom: You're going to tell me you knocked some chicky babe up! and i'm not ready to be a Grandma! HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID!
  • Me: Mom! I didn't get a girl pregnant! I'm trying to tell you that I'm Gay!
  • Mom: ...What? ...Well....OH THANK GOD!!!!!! *gives me a hug*
  • She was so relieved that she wasn't going to be a young grandma that she didn't even care I was gay.

anonymous asked:

So my mum constantly down plays the side effects of ADHD and one time she said something along the lines of, "but hun, that kind of stuff happens to everyone. I deal with that sort of stuff, it doesn't make you special." And I just had I stand there and stare at her for a while because one, not telling her this to be a special snowflake, and two, I'm pretty darned sure she has undiagosed ADHD and she doesn't seem to get that the fact she can relate to EVERYTHING Ive told her is important smh

that reminds me of the time i was explaining to my mom how i know i’m bi even though i haven’t “been” with another woman and she was like “well i’ve always appreciated the female figure” and i said “well maybe you’re bi” and she said “hm. well i’m too old to experiment now” and i just

161029 BTS Jongno Fansign - V (1/2)

Post-it: Taehyung-oppa! Please draw me a good-luck charm so that I can have a boyfriend who’s handsome and cute like you!

V: Hi~

Fan: Hi…!

V: (looks at post-it and draws)

Fan: (watching)

V: (places his hands on the fan’s hands) What’s your name?

Fan: It’s Ahmin!

V: Ahmin?

Fan: Yep!

V: (takes out one hand and signs while writing her name as “Minie~”)

V: (looks at the fan seriously) Why don’t you have a boyfriend?

Fan: Yeah… I haven’t dated once!

V: Huh? Really?

Fan: Yep!

V: How old are you?

Fan: I’m 17..!!

V: Uhm… It’s okay, I dated for the first time when I was 17 too

V: Uhm then… I’ll give you Jimin! Take Jimin! If you come to Jiminie-oppa, you have to tell him “Taehyungie-oppa gave you away to me, today’s our first day!”. Got it?

Fan: (stares blankly)

V: Got it? You have to tell him!

Fan: Got it…

V: Mmhmm.. You have to tell him!

Fan: I got it!!

V: Eyy, pretty~~

Fan: (blushes)

V: Cute ㅎㅎㅎ

Fan: (bows head)

part 2

© 161029samin 

anonymous asked:

Thank you for showing me that women can be muscular and still really attractive. My family is really conservative and think that the way I'm built will prevent me from having a relationship. (I'm also a lesbian but that's a whole different set of problems) You're really pretty and you give me a lot of hope for my future :)

hey I’m in the exact same boat as you my mom was telling me yesterday that women weren’t meant to be this muscular and that it’s a mans job… but I’m gonna keep lifting weights because fuck that I love doing it and I love my body and I love myself enough to not let anyone stop me

  • me: yeah i'd tell my parents that i'm a lesbian if they asked
  • me: *by my mom* oh man girls are so pretty
  • me: *by my mom* what's the deal with men? they're... bad
  • mom: so,,,, are you,,,, by chance,,, gay?
  • me: pshhh what no why would you think that?? what even is a girl? why would i date a girl when i could date a boy? boys are obviously who i want to date. If i ever see a girl in the rest of my life i'll be so disappointed because she is not a man!!! i never want to kiss a girl! only boy!! girls? too soft, sweet, caring, beautiful, gorgeous, perfect fOR ME!! i only want a rOUGH, stRONG MAN to spend my life with!!

anonymous asked:

Yo do you wanna help me smack the ghosts in my moms house with a Ouija board and some sage? They're getting mighty feisty in I'll tell you what I'm pretty sick of it

THIS IS THE RIGHT ATTITUDE TO HAVE TOWARDS HAUNTINGS AND I AM GLAD TO HELP

anonymous asked:

Okay so question: What age is okay to come out as ace, like you aren't a late bloomer? I'm 14 and I'm like pretty sure I'm asexual but my friend said that I'm just a late bloomer and I shouldn't tell my mom. And I trust them because they said they are gay and genderfluid. When is it okay for me to say I'm Asexual?

Any time is okay for you to say you’re asexual. Your friend’s being a jerk. Sex and attraction is seen as such an integral part of growing up not experiencing such means you’re “late”, that you truly aren’t someone of the same age and maturity in their eyes. They’re totally buying into the straight narrative.

Anyway. Anything can be a phase, at any age. I don’t think a person is more likely to be wrong about being gay or transfemme or aromantic or asexual at 14 than they are at 41. And there’s nothing wrong with something being a phase, if that’s what it turns out to be. That doesn’t stop you from very much being asexual at 14 years old. That’s who you are right now. You don’t have to tell your mother, but if you want to, then go ahead. Good luck!

- Ino

anonymous asked:

To my beloved kimbap mom. Today I had a pretty tough day and now I need a parent who can tell me a bedtime story (since I'm too old and too 17 biased for my real parents to do that ^o^). So would you like to do a 17's reaction to you overstraining yourself? You don't complain though and when s/o is asking, you would say that everything is fine. But of course the colour of your face is saying the opposite. (I'm so sorry for being so chatty (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵))

S.Coups, Jeonghan, Hoshi, DK, Mingyu & Dino would stop you from doing whatever you’re doing and make you rest. They know you’re not all right, and they’d want you to take time to relax instead of continuously stressing yourself. If you really do insist on continuing, they’d make you take a quick break or nap. They wouldn’t be able to bear seeing you this way.

Joshua, Jun, Wonwoo, The8 & Vernon wouldn’t say anything afterwards, but be worrying the entire time. They’d be concerned over your health because they’d hate to see you get sick because you aren’t taking proper care of yourself. They’d calmly bring it up and tell you to stop stressing yourself so much because your health is the most important to them.

Woozi & Seungkwan would argue with you. You’d tell them that they should rest rather than worrying about you because they must be tired from practice, but they’d say that they won’t get a wink of sleep unless you stop over-working yourself. There’s just no winning against them when it comes to your well-being.

i’m one day late, but i hope you’re feeling better, dear!! thank you for your request!!

anonymous asked:

Hey ouija mom I'm pretty scared right now that we might be headed for ww3 and the whole world is gonna be nuked.

So my Mom grew up during the Cold War, and she used to tell me that she would have crippling phobias of a nuclear war all the time. She used to wake up wondering if this would be the last day. During nuke drills she would hardcore panic and not stop thinking about how pointless it was to hide under a desk. There were days when she didn’t want to play outside because if a bomb went off, she would be annihilated. That anxiety got better with time, but it came back when this TV movie came out called The Day After, that showed life before, during, and after a nuclear attack. One time she sat me down to show me the “during” section, which was mostly stock footage of actual nuclear tests, just to show me what she felt was so terrifying. And yes, it’s horrific.

But she later told me that it’s an irrational fear, deep down. It’s kind of like a fear of death, in that there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s out of your hands. If it never happens, great, if it does, you’ll most likely be disintegrated and not feel anything.

But, we have a strong UN now. The United Nations’ job is basically to keep another world war from happening, and making sure that one world superpower is not as strong as the other. The Security Council exists to make sure that the nuclear countries are all in agreement with each other and never officially toe the line, and therefore never start a World War III with each other. Not to mention, North Korea does not have a nuclear power that is strong enough to attack a Western nation. They’re testing missiles, but if they ever actually fire on another country, they would be completely sanctioned off, meaning no trade of any kind from other countries, meaning no food or new technology. If either country attacks, the UN is going to step up and make sure that a) that country is reprimanded, and b) put a stop to any kind of war whatsoever.

So, listen. This is not something you need to worry about in the big picture. Live your life, be happy, do what you love. But also include activism in your daily life. Teach others about what atomic weapons really mean. Check out websites like Global Zero that advocate for the removal of all nuclear weapons from the Earth. Take a virtual tour of the entire Hiroshima Memorial Museum. Contact your Congressmen and Senators and tell them that they must not allow one man to have the ability to launch a nuclear missile. Attend town hall meetings and protests and voice your opinion. Be active, stay aware, but most of all, stay positive.

iamnotajapanesecarcompany  asked:

Do you have any tips for typing people over 40, who have more developed functions? I've been trying to type my mom for months, and I still can't figure her out, I'm not sure if it is because she's an adult and her functions are more developed or if there's something else preventing me from typing her. I'm pretty sure she's INFX. I know that there's a big difference in the cognitive stacks for those two types, but I can't tell if her intuition and/or feeling is introverted or extroverted.

(Gif: Matthew & Mary Crawley, Downton Abbey. INFP, ENTJ.)

I ran into this problem early on in typing my dad, only he’s extroverted. I thought ENFP at first because he fits some of the stereotypes but over time, came to realize that his focus is not on short-term possibilities (that’s where I excel, with Ne/Te) but on far-reaching events (Ni - ENFJ). He’s somewhat private / guarded with his personal feelings, enough that I thought he might be Fi – but he shows no Te whatsoever and is rather impressed when I or my mother use it. And yet, his reaction to everything that happens is first and foremost – Fe.

My Ne also impresses him in its ability to innovate / change direction without much warning (his Ni does not like to adapt an overall vision, even though his Se is excellent enough that he can seize opportunities as they arise) whereas he finds my changeable nature (Ne) somewhat aggravating to his Ni-desire to find a single solution that encompasses and solves all the problems, in a way that will play out positively in the future (Ni) for everyone involved (Fe). He also cares much more about how things work (Ti) and getting to “the truth of something” (Ni) than I do. I want only enough knowledge to serve a goal or purpose (Te).

His insights are far sharper, more focused, and direct than mine – I will say this or that about someone, and he will fire off an intuitive Ni insight into their psyche – he may or may not be right, but he believes the pattern aligns to produce that truth (example: so and so said this to me about that; “so and so is jealous of this aspect of your personality and is retaliating with comments designed to make you doubt yourself in that area”). I am more inclined to assert an intuitive opinion and seek evidence to support it, or seek external affirmation / support for that idea (Ne) as being plausible (Te).

Well balanced or not, NFJs and NFPs are decidedly different – so look for what they share with you, their overall patterns of behavior, and their levels of distaste for change. INFJs are prone to futuristic mindsets in the long term and in stating a conclusion as a personal fact once they have decided on it; once they reach that point (of intensive inner processing spitting out a single truth) they are not inclined to change their mind, whereas the INFP allows their strong personal ethics and feeling of affection / dislike for things to direct their Ne.

INFPs want to share and latch on to other people’s ideas; Ni’s can be somewhat resistant to that. INFJs want to form comprehensive inner worlds (Ni/Ti) that inform their greater understanding of how humanity works (FeTi); INFPs want freedom to pursue their own passions, beliefs, and whims. INFPs will “change” far more often than an INFJ; in anything where a central ethical truth is not involved, their opinions, beliefs, pursuits, interests, hobbies, etc., may shift rapidly over time.

Ni looks to the long term (years ahead); Ne looks a few weeks down the road.

In particular, from strong Ni’s, look for strong futuristic opinions. When Donald Trump entered the GOP presidential race, back before anyone thought he had a chance to even win the primary, my dad read a few articles, heard a couple of his speeches, then said, “He’s our next president. He will resonate with the core of the people.”

Naturally, being an “anything can happen” Ne, I said, “Pfft, YEAH, RIGHT, Dad.”

- ENFP Mod

anonymous asked:

My parents don't know, that I'm bisexual. I kind of want to tell them,but since I have a boyfriend (I'm female), I think they wouldn't take me seriously anyway. Besides, being bisexual feels so normal to me? Like, I can't imagine that people aren't attracted to both (any?) genders?? at least a tiny bit? ... idk that might just be me...

I can relate. I’m bisexual and closeted to my parents, and I have a boyfriend. I know my mom is pretty homophobic/biphobic/transphobic/etc so I’m afraid of being treated like a “good bisexual” when I come out to her, and I don’t want that. My orientation also feels really normal to me, which is probably why it took me a while to figure it all out. 

anonymous asked:

When I came out, my mom mentioned that she had never heard me express desire for girls. So naturally now whenever I see a cute girl, I'm sure to tell my mom. See a girl online who's pretty? Time to show mom. Develop a crush? I'm going to gush about it to my mom for hours until she can't possibly tell me that I've never expressed attraction to girls.

me af

anonymous asked:

Mom, I'm. genderfluid and when my bro comes home from our biological mothers house, I greet him with, "Hello brother of mine." And he responds with, "Hello" "sibling" "sibling of mine." He waits for me to tell him if I'm sister, brother, or just sibling that day. I think that's pretty cool.

This is the sweetest thing

lo-ira  asked:

I always kind of crack up when I see people aggressively tell white people they should pay reparations like in that post you commented on because I know if people saw me they'd direct it at me because I look white but what they don't know is that I'm a middle eastern dude (my dad is Israeli) who's family came here A. (My mom's side) in the early 1900s post-slavery and B. in the 1970s (my dad) so I kind of just chuckle and tell them I don't owe anyone jack shit.

Yeah it’s pretty ridiculous. My family has literally been in this country longer than the families of some of my white friends. I can trace my lineage back to the 1800s and there are white people I know whose grandparents only came here in the 1930s. How exactly are their ancestors responsible for what happened to my ancestors when they weren’t even here at the time?

anonymous asked:

my mom scares me so much because I'm biromantic and asexual and she's super religious (we're Muslim) and she says "gays and lesbians" are "the worst sinners in the eyes of Allah" and I haven't come out yet (I'm still pretty confused about my sexuality to be completely honest and I'm not comfortable with telling my parents) and I'm so scared I started crying and I don't know what to do anymore please if you could help with some advice that would be great I'm sorry if this bothers you

Hey, love. Sorry this took me so long. Tumblr didn’t show me I had a new message.

So I’m in the same boat as you in terms of being biromantic and vaguely ace. The best thing I can tell you do do for yourself is to start with you. Talk to other queer muslims online. Read up on iamnotharaam and on the book homosexuality and islam if you can get your hands on it. Look up MASGD and NQAPIA. Normalize the fact that there are, in fact, queer muslims and they are *just fine*. They know that God loves them. You can, too. Dyemelikeasunset helped me a lot-and you’re always welcome to come and talk to me.

From there, try and focus on talking to Allah for yourself. Your mom is coming from a different cultural idea, and frankly, contextually, she is *wrong*. There was no such concept as a gay or lesbian at the time the Qu’ran was penned-a concept of sex between certain people, sure, but not the complex idea of a whole being that wasn’t straight. Beyond that, Islam encourages us to grow and change and stay updated with the times-to reinterpret it as time comes. 

You are not haraam, and you are loved, my dear. Stay with me. Stay with us. I promise, there is so much for you waiting on the other side.