my mom sent this to me in an email

Signs as things my Physics Teacher said.
  • aries: "Stand up Gabe, I'm setting your desk on fire."
  • taurus: "I don't care who's condom it is, put it away."
  • gemini: "Whoever wrote mitochondria as the most important thing you learned in science raise your hand I know there's more then one."
  • cancer: "No don't ask Jesus for help on your quiz if you didn't study, not even Jesus can help you now."
  • leo: "Would anyone like to donate clothing to put on our class skeleton, it makes me uncomfortable he gets to be naked in this class but I can't."
  • virgo: "No I'm not grading your tests I'm trying to sell my world of Warcraft account. That's what happens when you have kids."
  • libra: "Don't marry anyone named Mia. Most likely she's only marrying you for a visa trust me."
  • scorpio: "Oh really does it say you're a loser on your birth certificate too?"
  • sagittarius: "I may have accidentally sent a very personal email to one of your parents that was suppose to go to my mom."
  • capricorn: "Which one of you hell beasts stole my almond chocolate off my desk?"
  • aquarius: "No Gabe, Bill Nye the science guy isn't a documentary."
  • pisces: "Do I look like I would keep dead rats in a jar?- Don't answer that."
Chris Colfer: The First Time I Braved New York (and a Taxi!)
The “Glee” actor and best-selling author, whose latest young adult novel is “Stranger Than Fanfiction,” talks about a rite of passage.
By Chris Colfer

Imagine, if you will, the Pillsbury Doughboy with Peter Brady’s haircut and Truman Capote’s voice. Add a sprinkling of the fear of being touched and the social anxiety of a shy Chihuahua. That was me at 18, and in December 2008, that guy decided it was a good idea to take a trip to New York City all by himself.

To reiterate why this cultural experiment was destined for failure, I should mention I was born and raised in Clovis, Calif., a small town in the heart of the San Joaquin Valley — you know, where they end up in “The Grapes of Wrath.” Clovis is a place of spacious farmland, quiet suburbs, ample street parking and trucks with testicle ornaments. It couldn’t be more different from the Big Apple, which is probably why I spent much of my adolescence wishing Kristin Chenoweth would show up in Glinda the Good Witch’s bubble and take me there.

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funny story

when I was in grade 6, i was really into the Hunger Games books. in the books there’s a couple parts where the author talks about Katniss and Peeta sleeping in the same bed and things like that. nothing too raunchy but enough to turn a 12 year old on. so around the time i was reading the books, i also had a huge crush on this one kid. i decided i was gonna make up a story about me and this boy sleeping in bed together much like Katniss and Peeta do in the Hunger Games. the story was about a paragraph long and was quite detailed and intimate for a 12 year old. after i wrote it, i decided to email it to my best friend but instead of sending it to her email, i sent it to her family’s email address. the next day at school she told me what happened and said that her whole family read the story. i was so mortified, especially since later that day her mom was taking me and my friend to our gymnastics class. when I did see her mom, she told me what a “descriptive” writer i was and asked when chapter 2 was coming

this is an excerpt from the email abductmeirl and morriganswife sent to my mom along with multiple screenshots of posts on my blog where I talked about terfs. I decided to leave out abductmeirl’s real name and email address (tho I guess it might be fake) bc I’m a better person. 

she outright says she wants me to be sent to conversion therapy for being a lesbian even though she knows I’m dfab which is lesbophobic. happy blocking~!

About six months ago, my mom found out I write fan fiction and told me she wanted to read one of my fics.  I told her she wouldn’t really understand it since she doesn’t watch the show, but sent her my AO3 link anyway.  

I just found out that she watched the first three seasons of Teen Wolf in her spare time over the last six months so she could read my 100k Sterek fic. 

She sent me an email this morning telling me all her thoughts about it and how proud she was of me.

The email is three pages long.

help me??? please?

i hate begging for this but i need commissions to come into my inbox as soon as possible. during the summer my mom doesn’t have work so we do pretty poorly at the end of summer. my dad can pay for dinner everynow and again, but my mom does most of the buying when it comes to groceries, lunch out clothes buying, and letting me and my twin brother have a summer like every other teenager. Yesterday (8/9) my mom had to blow almost 1000 bucks on the dentist and my phone. this afternoon we could barely afford wendy’s four for four meal for three of us two share, and despite the name, its not a meal for four people. my mom has 1 dollar bills in her wallet and thats it. she can’t afford to take money out of the bank. chronic depression runs in the family and nobody is taking it well i’ve seen my mom cry several times this week and it stresses me and my brother out to see her like that. i will do the commissions that are sent my way right away and they’re be done with thought and care. i really want to give my mom some cash i hate seeing her like this. if you’re interested in commissioning, please email me 

(reblogs/spreading the word is deeply appreciated)


Egu - I’ve been talking to my mom through email at least once a month, but just now, she just sent me a mail saying “The scream of that monkey in Higashiyama Zoo that everyone is talking about right now actually sounds just like you.”


I don’t know. All I know is I’m seriously LMAO’ing right now…so hard…because when I looked it up, it’s actually true. LOL

You guys be the judge…XD

Photo Album Feelings

Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary: You’ve been wanting a baby recently, but how do you bring it up with Bruce, whom you’ve never discussed kids with?

“Are those photos from when you were a child?” I jump a little at the unexpected voice before flipping the stack of photos over and awkwardly smiling out of discomfort as I continue to cut out the rest that I’d printed out.

“Yes” I say shyly as I take a moment to sneak a glance at his reaction, “there’s some from when I was a baby too.”

“Can I see them?” Bruce asks gently as he moves from the back of the couch, looking over my shoulder so he can sit next to me.

“Not yet” I blush a little in embarrassment as I try to continue accomplishing my goal” finish cutting out the pictures my Mom had sent me via email.

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so i need some assistance

my mom and i had to move pretty abruptly into an apartment and my aunt and uncle are graciously helping with rent until my mom gets a job again, she filed for unemployment benefits but they wont give it to her for 6 to 8 weeks and we don’t know if they’ll even approve her

i cant support both her and myself, so im opening commissions for icons for $1 each. can be a tumblr/twitter icon or a banner, any fandom doesn’t matter and ill get to them within a day if possible. please message me here via tumblr for requests

or if you are way too fucking nice then any donations can be sent to my paypal: email is

anonymous asked:

this summer I went to an lgbt summer camp since I'm out to my mom as queer in terms of my sexuality but not my gender. I identify as non binary and used they/them pronouns at camp. So the camp sent an email to all the parents about our individual weeks and like a small thing about how it went and their first impressions of us and stuff but they used they/them pronouns for me and I'm not out to my mom with those pronouns. What do I tell her if she asks? That they use these pronouns for everyone?

Kai says:

if she asks, tell your mom they must have accidentally forgotten to change the pronouns from an email template, or they automatically use they/them pronouns for everyone. you can also email or call them to tell them that if your mom contacts them about it, that it would be best if they pretended they made a mistake and accidentally called you they/them if you want to be really sure.


Solomon is doing much better a week after the really terrible cat sitter. Her only job was to pill him, my mom said she’d done great before but this time it was like she was a different person. She gave up two days in and sent me an email that I didn’t get til I got back.

I still don’t know why he’s got a bunch of bald spots, I think either from withdrawal when he wasn’t getting his meds or probably her trying to scruff him too roughly. They’re clean healthy skin so I’m just going to monitor everything and I think he’ll fine.

Kinda a last message Received. The last time I spoke to my dad was a day in august five years ago. He called me harassing me for my mom, sister and my new address. Eventually he got it out of me and started saying awful things about my mom and her lawyer. I hung up on him. The next day we went and got the restraining order my mom had against him extended to my sister and I. He was very mentally ill and abusive. We went five years without any contact. Deep down I hoped one day he could get help and be normal again. I hoped we could have him back.

On June 29th this year he sent my mom an email asking if he had anything my sister or I wanted. He said he was abandoning all of his property that weekend. We didn’t know how to respond, we didn’t even know what of ours he had. He ended up sending us a box of old pictures and artwork and stuff. Father’s Day and birthday cards, drawings, stuff like that. He also asked if he could send a letter. My mom said ok, what ended up coming was a money order for $900 addressed to my sister and I, wrapped in blank sheets of paper with no note. From the box of pictures I thought that this was his way of pushing us out of his life for good. I should have known better because my very first instinct was right.

A week and a half later after a conversation between my mom and one of my dads sisters a message was sent to him and not answered. A well being check was ordered by his sisters and on July 10th the police two towns over from me found him after having committed suicide sometime over the weekend.

I was planning on emailing him to say thank you but I was scared because I didn’t know if it would be the nice dad who I hadn’t had any interaction with for longer than I hadn’t seen him that answered me or the angry one that thought the world was against him and blamed all of his problems on everyone else.

I wish I had just sent the email.


Here’s a selfie I took today because why not? I felt good today. And another photo from a walk a few days ago when the recent fires from British Columbia brought smoke into Washington and made for some pretty sunsets, but boy was it terrible to breathe. Constant coughing, watery eyes and more, for several days in a row. It’s finally letting up now, but it’s still unusually not and we have not had any measurable rain in over a month and a half.

 Plus ATTACK OF THE PUG PUPPY PICTURE! Such a love! So fierce! So beautiful! Look at that adorable snout! So squished!

 So my weekend has been pretty relaxing, but that’s going to change soon. I believe I have at least this and next week working my normal schedule (Monday-Thursday), but then for the rest of August, I’m working. Lots. My schedule changes to Monday-Thursday, but I’m also filling in for co workers several times as well. I’ll be working 10 out of 11 days (the other day being a day we’re closed), which will push me to working 100 or so hours over an 11 day period. Yikes. I stand on my feet a lot too. Plus I was volunteered to do the same early next month. I say volunteered because my sister (aka my boss) said I’d do it. I’m not one to swear too often, but dammit, that’s so evil.

 I’m hoping that I can get enough sleep in this time, because with warm weather, plus the usual work sleep schedule, I tend to not sleep much, and doing that for 10-11 days in a row will be difficult to say the least. If the weather cools down, I may stand a chance and get decent sleep here and there, but rarely do I get more than 6 hours on a typical work night, let alone when it’s 80+ degrees in my room.

 Anywhoo, transition wise… I need to be careful with how I word things as my last post got flagged as an adult post - it’s more of the usual. I imagine because I was talking about my girl bits growing up top - so wording… things are continuing to grow up top and I can definitely feel the changes. It feels like near the 1 year mark of HRT things are finally kicking into overdrive there. I’m not kidding. While I felt the changes start as soon as October (just over 2 months on HRT), it feels like the last month+, things have grown considerably. Bras I bought just a couple months ago are filling out, and I can feel a lot in the cup area.

 It started off when I brought bras, that I had to start with a small cup size, but large band size, as many transwomen have to do because the size of our chest compared to.. other things that are playing catch up. I’m pretty well filling out DD right now, and things show no signs of slowing down just yet. I honestly was expecting the bra purchases to last quite a while, but I may have to buy more in just a couple months.

 While this isn’t the point of my transition - to have any hope for decent sized chest - I certainly don’t mind it at all, and will happily take whatever mother nature provides (with a little help from estrogen). As I’m nearing my 36th birthday, I’ll take what I can get! Not having to consider implants down the line would be nice. At barely over a year into hormones, I’m still not ready to count my chickens yet… but what’s going on does ease things a little bit!

 I’m getting very close to a name change. As I said before, I wanted to get it done moooonths ago, but with little hope of having my mom here to celebrate with me, I’m just going to get on with it. I already have the money for it as court fees are right around $173 (plus maybe $20 for extra copies of the court order) and the dept. of licensing would be no more than $60 to get my new name and gender designation, so I’m all set, and have been for a while. I sent an email to the appropriate people at the courts and once I get a reply answering my questions, I’m good to go.

 To top it off, my laser tech said that I get to save $100 for my next set of laser session too since my sessions don’t take very long, so that’s really nice! Buy 4 get 1 session free will set me back $600 instead of $700! Yes!

 That’s about all there is to report for now. I’ll keep up the occasional posts - 1 or 2 a week, or as anything develops in my life worth reporting of course.

 I hope you have all had a great last week or so, and may the rest of this week pass by quickly for you all!

 - Lana

ID #59495

Name: Connor
Age: 14
Country: Canada

Hey! I’m Connor, I’m 14 and I am a mixed raced child from Canada. I was born September 4 so I’m almost 15 though. I’m part black part white so yay!
I love musicals; I’m into quite a few already with some on a list to listen to soon!
I also love books and music. My favourite author is Rick Riorden.
I can play the guitar!
I’m a fluent English speaker, quite decent at PSE, and am learning both French and German though I’m still at a basic level.
I’m not 100% certain on my gender but I go by he/him pronouns so if we do message that’s good to use. I’m also unsure on my sexuality but that’s a problem for another day.
I would most likely talk to someone threw emails and I think that I’d be fun to do! I could send letters but my mom often opens the ones I’m sent so that could be a problem if you wanted to send stuff to me.
Honestly I like a lot of things and as long as you’re not racist, sexist, homophobic etc. I’d probably get along with you though I can be edgy at times.

Sorry for the long message, but it was something.

Preferences: Age: 11 - 18
Writing - Email and maybe letters.
Nicknames: Yes I love when people make nicknames for me/I have nicknames for them.

anonymous asked:

How about a You've Got Mail-esque prompt for Swanfire?

AN: This better not awaken a full-fledged fic.  Keep this universe away from Straggle, she will make it 9,000 times worse.

“Emma…they’re opening a Gold Books around the corner.”

Emma jerked her head away from her copy of “The BFG”.  Belle was bouncing a little on her toes, her usual habit when she was nervous.  Emma couldn’t blame her.  Swan’s Way had been a home for Belle when she needed it most–a way to cover her expenses during college and a place of peace and tranquility.  Emma knew exactly how she felt.  Her bookstore was her solace too.  

“You gotta be kidding me,” She hopped off the stool before the register and squinted out the window. “Here? In the middle of independent-local-stores land?”

“You know those giant corporations,” Belle crossed her arms. “Next they’ll be putting up a Walmart.”

“Well, I wouldn’t worry,” Emma cleared her throat. “This store belonged to my mom and my grandfather before her. There’s no way we’re going out of business. The neighborhood is loyal.”

Belle glanced out the window again. “But don’t you think–I mean, have you heard of them? Gold and his son? They make a living putting people out of business like this.”

“They’re not gonna put us out of business,” Emma said firmly. “Don’t worry so much, Belle. We’ve got this. There’s plenty of room for two bookstores.”

Belle’s concern did not dissipate.  Sighing, Emma pulled open her laptop.

“Come here. I got a new email from TheBeats42 this morning. He sent me a Ginsberg poem!”

Belle beamed, recognizing the lines.  “You know, Emma, in the age of Tinder and Bumble, an email relationship is a little old-fashioned. I can’t believe you haven’t met him yet.”

“I like it this way,” Emma traced the edge of her computer. “Besides…as long as we keep emailing, there’s less chance of him disappointing me. We know nothing about each other–not our Facebooks, our Instagrams…we just email. And it’s…perfect.” 

After four years she left for no good reason, took everything and now her life is falling to pieces.

(warning: long story)

I dated a girl for about four years, lets call her Brandy. We were best friends before we dated, then we dated for about four years. She was awesome. I loved her very dearly. As far as I knew we were awesome together and great as friends and as lovers. We rarely ever fought. We got along great. We got engaged and had plans to get married. As far as I knew everything was perfect. In fact, I still doubt I will ever find another partner that I am THAT compatible with.

I spoiled her too. Maybe that was my biggest fault. I always let her go shopping whenever wherever she wanted, I kept her fed from a golden spoon and wrapped in the finest linens. Even if she didn’t ask, I typically enjoyed spoiling her. That’s just how I am.

She had recently gotten a part time job as a funeral directors assistant, paying $10 an hour, and I had subsequently gotten her a new cellphone line for her as a work line, as a celebratory gesture, because she had been wanting a Note 5 and wasn’t due for an upgrade. she said she would pay for the balance on the old phone with her first check.

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