my mom says it looks fake

Not so fast Morty,
You heard your mom
we got adventures to go on Morty🖐🏻
Just you and me
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom
but NEVER your dad!
You wanna know why Morty?
Because he CROSSED me 👍🏼

Oh it gets Darker Morty,
Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures,
First thing that’s different
no more dad Morty
he threatened to turn me into the government, so I made him
and the government go away.

I repla*burp*ced them both as the patriarch of your family
and your universe 👉🏻
Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me
if I came home without you or your sister,
So now you know the Real reason why i rescued you
I Just Took Over The Family Morty!
& if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this, I’ll deny it!
& they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty!
Now you’re gonna have to do whatever i say Morty! Forever!!
(as if he didnt already)
(that close up of Rick looks sexy btw)
& I-I
*has a mini stroke with his words*
I’ll go out and find some of that, Mulan Szechuan* Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty!
BEcause That’s 🙌🏼
that’s what this is all about Morty!
That’s my one arm man?!
I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty!
That was FAKE!
(Morty tries to crawl away and Rick pulls that bitch closer to him)
(Morty looks genuinely terrified LOL)
I’m driven by finding that
McNugget Sauce!!
*Morty in the backround*
“Nugget?!!”
I want That Mulan McNugget Sauce!
Morty!
That’s my series arc Morty!
It takes 9 seasons!
(I’d watch that tbh)
I WANT MY MCNUGGETS! 👉🏻

—  Rick Sanchez
Rick and Morty S3 E1
April 1st, 2017
Jealousy

Summary: You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend to make your ex jealous.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin (Jin) / Reader

Genre: Fluff / Smut

Words: 3.5k

A/N: (Feat. Wonwoo from Svt) Sorry Svt fans, I made him the enemy. I love Wonwoo though :)

Masterlist


“Okay that’s the last one.” Your new step father said.

Your mother just remarried and she figured it’s time that everyone lived together. Your step father was sweet so you had no complaints but as for his daughter. She was a snob but all you could do was play nice.

The last of the boxes finally settled so you thought you would try to step out.

“Hey mom….can I go to Jins?”

“No, we are having our first dinner tonight as a family.” You mother complained.

“I’ll be back….he only lives a few blocks away.”

Your mom didn’t like the fact that Jin lived by himself, technically he had a roommate but she still didn’t approve of you going there. He only was a few years older then you, three years to be exact. She also didn’t understand that you were just friends so nothing ever happens between you two. One more year and you can move out, you were counting the days.

“Fine you better be here….you got two hours.” You smiled and left quickly.

-

You knocked outside of your friends door. The door opened and you saw Namjoon. “You’re not pizza.” He said disappointed.

“Rude.” You pushed him out of the way. “Why do you need pizza when you have Jin….he cooks better then my mom.”

“I do.” He laughed from the kitchen.

“Can you make me my-” Before you could finish he rolled his eyes annoyed.

“Every time….you only come over for my goodies.” He whined.

You laughed as you wrapped your arms around him from behind. “That’s not true.” You giggled. “That’s the second reason.”

“Okay fine…one apple strudel coming up.”

“Thank you….my mom loves them too so I’m gonna have to hide them.”

“Or I could give you the recipe and you could make them yourself.” You glared at him causing him to do his famous laugh.

You heard a knock on the door. “Now this better be the pizza.” Namjoon got up.

He opened the door and you saw their friend Hoseok at the door with the pizza. “Thank you for the free pizza.” Namjoon grabbed it off his hands.

“No not again….you got me in trouble.” Hoseok complainted. “This is my third job in a year can you please not get me fired.” Namjoon glared and gave him his card so he could swipe it.

“What’s the point of working there if you can’t give your friends discounts.” You laughed.

“Hey what the hell (Y/N), you used to be on my side.”

“I am.” You didn’t noticed Jin look down upset as you bear hugged Hoseok.

You were like a little sister to all of Jin and his friends but the one thing you didn’t know was that Jin had feelings for you.

“Do you want some pizza?” Namjoon asked.

“No…..my mom is making me go home to dine with my new family.” You said in a mocking tone.

“They moved in?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah.” You arched your eyebrows.

“Bummer.” Namjoon said.

“I have to get back to work.” Hoseok said goodbye and left.

You walked over to the kitchen just as Jin put your strudel in the oven. “What time do you have to go back?” He asked.

“I have an hour.” You both sunk in to the couch next to Namjoon and put on a movie.

Before you know it the movie ended and you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. When you looked at the ID, you saw it was your mother. Shit!!

“Hi mom.” You said cheerfully.

“Where are you?”

“I’m on my way home.” You lied as you started putting your shoes on.

“You always do this.” Your mother said disappointed.

“I’m sorry I’ll be there any minute.” And you snapped and hung up.

“I better go.”

“Don’t forget your strudel.” Jin said and you grabbed it and left.

-

As soon as you entered the chamber you call home you heard loud laughter coming from the dining room. When you entered the room you saw your mother and your step father on each side of the table and the backs of your annoying step sister Mina and the back of some guys head.

“(Y/N) Your late.” You mother tried to not sound annoyed.

“I’m sorry.” You said as you made your way around the table getting a view of your mystery guest. You felt your stomach sink once you saw him. What the fuck is he doing here?

As soon as he saw your face, he went pale, like he seen a ghost. It was Wonwoo, your ex boyfriend. Why was he here? He can’t be dating her.

“(Y/N) this is Wonwoo, my boyfriend.” Mina said to break the awkward silence. This is unreal.

“Hi.” You said with no emotion. He nervously smiled. It wasn’t a surprise your mother didn’t recognize him, she was always busy with her work.

“I thought this was a family dinner?” You sassed.

“(Y/N) What’s with you?” Your mother whispered but it was clear that everyone could hear.

“Nothing it’s just that I didn’t know we could of invite guest unless I would of.” You rolled your eyes looking down.

“Mina gave us permission, but you can invite people over too (Y/N).” Your step dad nicely said.

“My mom never told me that.” You continued your gaze down at your plate.

“Invite your friend over tomorrow.” He said.

“You have friends?” Mina smirked.

She can act like that and get away with it but when you do it your mother acts like all hell broke loose.

“I have lots of friends actually and they all exists.” You snickered. “Can I invite Jin over mom?”

“Who’s Jin.” Mina said annoyed.

My boyfriend.”

You heard your mother cough while swallowing her food. “Boyfriend?”

“Yeah.” You said it like it was obvious.

“You told me-”

“Mom we had this talk already I know you don’t approve because he’s older but you never even got to know him.” Which was kind of true but with the wrong message.

Your mother looked at you confused and angry at the same time. “We need to talk about this later.” You nodded.

-

“Sorry what?” Jin asked because he thought he misheard what you said.

“Did I tell you how handsome you look today.” You avoid his question.

“Did you just ask me to be your boyfriend?” He was still confused.

“So handsome.” He just glared at you confused. “Okay fine…… that’s exactly what I said.”

“Why?” He carried out the word.

“Don’t get offended or anything because you’re my best friend and I love you.” You held your hands together placing them over your chest.

“Can you please pretend to be my boyfriend because my evil witch from another planet step sister is dating my ex.”

“Wonwoo?” He asked.

“Yes Jin…because I’ve been in so many relationships.” You said sarcastically. “So will you help me?”

“Why do you need me, you said you were over him.”

“I am I just want to show him that I’m not pathetic and I can get another guy.” You said grouchy.

“Being single doesn’t make you pathetic.”

“I know I just don’t want Mina to find out, she’ll gloat in my face.”

He rolled his eyes. “Technically you don’t have a choice because I kinda told everyone already.” You bit your lip nervously. He glared at you.

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” You gave him the biggest hug ever. “I told my mom that you could come to dinner tomorrow night.”

“I don’t know if I can fake it.”

“Jin come one….its not hard.”

He looked at you concerned. “Let’s practice.” You sat closer to him. “Kiss me.” His eyes shot open wide. “It’s okay.” You giggled.

He wasn’t making any movements so you grabbed his cheeks and brought your lips to his. It took him a while to work against your lips but he eventually responded. You removed your hands from his face and leaned them on his shoulders. You can’t believe you are saying this but it felt nice.

“Woah, what’s going on?” You heard Namjoon enter the room.

You both looked at him stunned. “You guys are together now? It’s about time.” He laughed.

“No, it’s a long story but I’ll see you tomorrow right?” You got up ready to leave.

He nodded. “What was that?” Namjoon asked Jin.

“It’s a long story I guess.”

-

You watched as your mother set the table with an attitude. “You still mad at me?”

“You lied to me.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You mumbled. “I’m sorry if I told you the truth then you wouldn’t have let me go.”

“That’s right I wouldn’t of.” She argued.

“Why are you so mad….you said you liked Jin.”

“Yeah but you said you were just friends.”

“We still are mom….we are exploring.” Your mother rolled your eyes.

“Jin’s a gentleman…he hasn’t even touched me yet.”

“Aish.” Your mother rubbed her forehead stressed.

“Hey dear.” Your step dad entered.

“He’s here.” You followed the knocking at the door.

You bumped into Mina on your way to the door. “Jeez what has gotten into you?”

“My boyfriends here.” You gloated.

You opened the door and there he was your best friend/pretend boyfriend. You noticed the slight change in his hair color. You arched your eyebrows at him.

You greeted him and wrapped your arms around his neck kissing him on the lips. He was caught off guard again but soon responded.

You heard a voice clearing behind you. Mina. “Jin this is Mina my step sister ” You said rushed, so she can go away.

“Hi.” She greeted cheerfully. “Nice to meet you.” She shook his hand. She was putting on some shy act. Was she attracted to Jin?

You looked at her and shoo'ed her away. She smiled and met your parents in the kitchen.

“I don’t see you for a day and you die your hair pink.” You noticed the slight tint of rose color coming off his blonde as soon as he stepped in the light.

“It was Namjoons idea.” He laughed.

“Why do you listen to him?” You grabbed his hand and led him to where the rest of the house was.

Your mother played nice even though she was in the past. Did Mina forget she had a boyfriend? She has your ex boyfriend and now she wants your fake boyfriend. You could tell that Jin was uncomfortable by the way she would constantly gaze at him.

“So Jin how long have you two been dating?” Your step dad asked.

“We have-” You started but your mom interfered.

“He asked Jin.” Your mother warned you.

He looked at you before he answered. “About two months now.” He lied. Your mom looked more ashamed of you because you lied but you knew in the end she prefer him then other guys.

-

The rest of dinner was pretty awkward. You walked Jin to his car. “Good job buddy.” You patted him on the back.

“How long are you going to make me do this?” He sounded disappointed.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“Good night (Y/N).” He opened his car door.

“Hey, are you okay?” He nodded. You knew something was wrong but you didn’t want to push it.

As soon as he drove away, another car pulled up. Wonwoo. What is he doing here?

“Hey (Y/N).” He got out leaning on his car.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m picking up Mina.” He answered.

“This late.” You sassed. “Never mind I don’t care.”

“You know I had no idea she was your sister.” He said.

“Step sister.” You corrected.

He walked up closer to you. “So you really seeing someone huh?” He was strangely close, which made you uncomfortable for Mina’s sake.

“Yup.” His eyes lingered down to your lips.

“You sure or are you just saying that to make me jealous.” He smirked leaning in closer to you.

You pushed him away from you. “What the fuck are you doing? What happened to you…you’ve changed.” You said distressed.

“Did you pull these stunts when you were with me…is that why you broke up with me because you were afraid I was going to find out?” You continued.

“I was just kidding chill….I broke up with you because you were a clingy bitch.” You were stunned those words left his mouth. He was never like this, or so you thought.

“Wow…best to luck with you and Mina because I’ll tell you she’s something…..she couldn’t even take her eyes off my boyfriend at dinner.” You smiled deviously and head towards the door.

As soon as you opened the door you saw Mina walking down the stairs. “The garbage man is here to take out the trash.” You smiled at her confused face and went to your room.

-

All week you begged Jin to go to your house to hang out instead of his. You couldn’t help but noticed Jin’s cold attitude towards you lately, but it was only when you two were alone other then that he acted fine. And boy could he act, he acted like a true boyfriend around your family. You liked it.

Every time you would kiss him, you actually felt butterflies in your stomach. You loved when he held your hand and you loved how he complimented you. Were you falling for your best friend?

As cliche as it sounds when you kissed him for the first time just a week ago, you felt a spark. The only problem was you thought he didn’t feel the same way.

You two were sitting on the couch watching a movie at your house. You were alone together, or so you thought. You looked at Jin as he was focusing on the movie. He was so handsome. You hated yourself for never seeing him that way before. Things were different now, you saw him different now.

You felt butterflies as you watched him bite his lips. You couldn’t control yourself much longer. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards you as you kissed him desperately. He responded immediately as he smiled into the kiss. You deepened the kiss as you explored his mouth with your tongue. You moved your hand down his chest feeling every inch of him. You were surprised he wasn’t stopping you. You had a little hope that he felt the same way.

“Woah get a room.” You heard an annoying familiar voice ruining the moment behind you. Both of you didn’t say anything as you watched Mina and Wonwoo head up stairs.

“We’ll be upstairs.” Mina said. You caught a glimpse of Wonwoo’s face, it was pure jealousy.

You slightly smiled and faced Jin once again. He had a look of realization, but then turned to anger.

“Wow for a second I thought that was real.” Then he got up and grabbed his jacket.

“Wait Jin.” You ran after him but he was almost to his car already.

“It was real.” But he didn’t hear you as he drove off.

-

You knocked on the door quickly hoping he would answer. The door opened and to your surprise it was Namjoon.

“He doesn’t want company.” He tried to close the door.

“Wait please I need to talk to him.” He wasn’t budging. “Please.” You said sadly.

He opened the door for you and looked at you ashamed. “Do you think you could leave us alone for a bit.” You smiled sadly.

“Only if you promise not to break his heart even more.”

“Trust me I won’t.” You smiled and Namjoon grabbed his keys and left.

You knocked on Jin’s door softly. “Namjoon I told you I’m fine.” He answered but you just knocked again. You heard a groan and movement. He opened the door and his facial expression changed as he noticed you. He didn’t expected you of all people.

“What are you doing here?” He looked at you hard.

“To apologize.” You didn’t let him answer you just wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him into your lips.

He slowly pulled away and looked at you crushed. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“I wasn’t acting Jin….I didn’t know they were there.”

He gave you a look that he didn’t believe you. “I know what I did was wrong but this past week with you.” You blushed. “I realized how I felt about you.”

“Your not saying that just to save our friendship are you?”

“Nope.” You pushed him farther back and shut the door behind you. He had a smile on his face but he still looked confused.

“You really have feelings for me?” He said worryingly. You pushed him again until he fell back on his bed.

“Yes Jin…I’m sorry that it took me this long.” You climbed on to him straddling his hips.

You leaned down kissing him intensely. You felt him grab onto your hips tugging on your shirt. You sat back up to pull off your shirt.

“How long have you like me?” You said lustfully.

“A while.” He smirked.

You leaned back done kissing his neck. You could already feel him getting aroused underneath you. He got confident and flipped you both over so he was on top. You reached for your own jeans and sliding them off as he kissed your neck.

“Jin.” He mumbled against your neck to show he was listening. “Please make love to me.”

He pulled away looking at you seriously. Jin knows that you’re a virgin and asking him was a big step because even when you were with Wonwoo you held out as long as you could because you weren’t ready.

“I want you to be my first.” You whispered. He sweetly smiled at your request. That signaled you to continue so you reached for his pants buckle as he pulled off his shirt.

He then pulled down your panties kissing up your thigh all the way up your stomach until he reached your lips again. He was so fragile with your body and it gave you shivers.

He knew that your first time was a memory that would linger your mind forever and he wanted it to be special. In that moment you knew you made the right decision. You couldn’t have asked a better person to be your first. Your best friend to fake boyfriend to your real boyfriend.

You reached your hand down his boxers feeling his erect member. You felt butterflies as you gently stroke him. This was all new to you and you couldn’t help but feel excited.

He pulled off the rest of his pants as he reached into his side table grabbing a condom. You quickly removed your bra as he started to unroll the latex down his length. You felt nervous. He leaned over you again and kissed you passionately.

“This is going to hurt a little.” He blushed.

In that case you didn’t care you just wanted to feel connected with him. You felt comfortable and warm. You responded by kissing him once more.

You felt his member brush your folds before he slowly slid into you. You quietly screeched from the sting. “You want me to stop.” He sweetly asked with concern.

“No….just move slow.” You smiled. The first few thrust were slow and painful but it felt better as your body finally adjusted to his size. He continued slow until you told him to move faster.

“You sure?” You nodded. As he picked up the pace the pain turned into pleasure. The pleasure was nice. You could get used to this.

He kissed your neck roughly probably leaving marks as he rocked against your body. You wrapped your legs around his waist from under the blanket to get better angle. You moaned feeling the pleasure stir up in your stomach. This new feeling was like a drug to you and you wanted more of it.

He reached around kissing your lips softly. He interlocked his fingers with yours as you both worked against each other. You felt the tingling feeling wash over your body as it made its way down to your toes numbing them in the process. You let the feeling take control of your body as you weakly laid there under Jin.

You felt Jin slow down his pace as he quietly moaned against your lips. You felt him warm up your insides as his slow thrust came to a complete stop. You still felt like you were in a daze. You were replaying every detail in your mind as you still tried to catch your breath. Jin swiftly rolled over to your side trying to steady his breathing as well.

You couldn’t help but giggle from the feeling. “That was amazing.” You sounded cliche like some predictable Rom-Com but you couldn’t help it.

“Your welcome.” You smiled from the fact he was still trying to catch his breath.

You rolled over so you could lean into his arms. He wrapped his arms around you as you both cuddled enjoying the moment. You looked up smiling at his beautiful face. He leaned down pecking your lips cutely.

“Finally!” You heard someone shout from the other end of the apartment. Namjoon? What the fuck.

-

Masterlist

My Love’s So Strong

Pairing/Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Dad!Tony
Warnings: stalker behaviour, kidnapping, attempted sexual assault, angst, fluff
Summary: You’re a very valuable team member of The Avengers and that means you have fans. Some fans just don’t know their boundaries.
Word Count: 2.5k+  
A/N: I deadass know nothing about Philly only that my mom’s real brother live’s there lmao

INSPIRED BY THESE TWO ASKS:

Originally posted by sebastiansource

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Fake Chats #180
  • Namjoon: it's mother's day soon.
  • Yoongi: it's what?
  • Namjoon: on my international calender it says mother's day is coming soon.
  • Yoongi: okay?
  • Namjoon: well.
  • Yoongi: don't look at me like that. Leave me out of this.
  • Namjoon: so, how about flowers?
  • Hoseok: what about flowers?
  • Namjoon: for mother's day.
  • Hoseok: I should send my mom flowers?
  • Namjoon:
  • Jungkook: what do you need?
  • Namjoon: a cake.
  • Jimin: a cake?
  • Taehyung: we're having cake? Can it be ice cream cake?
  • Namjoon: and flowers. And maybe some balloons.
  • Jimin: what do we need flowers and balloons for?
  • Namjoon: mother's day.
  • Jungkook: what now?
  • Taehyung: I don't know about sending ice cream cake in the mail.
  • Namjoon:
  • Maknae line:
  • Namjoon: never mind.
  • Seokjin: Joonie, did you leave this nice letter for me?
  • Namjoon: happy mother's day.
  • Seokjin: happy what now?
  • Namjoon: it's just a holiday that could be celebrated t celebrate people we appreciate so yeah, I wrote you a letter.
  • Seokjin:
  • Namjoon: do you like it?
  • Seokjin: you think of me as...your mom?
  • Namjoon: no! Just as like, the mom of the group.
  • Seokjin: you think of me as.. a mom?
  • Namjoon: uh...
  • Seokjin: or you just wanted an excuse to show me affection and appreciation.
  • Namjoon:
  • Seokjin:
  • Namjoon: yes.
  • Yoongi: how did Jin-hyung like your letter?
  • Namjoon:
  • Hoseok: what letter?
  • Yoongi: for mother's day.
  • Hoseok: Namjoon thinks of Jin-hyung as his mom?
  • Namjoon: no!
  • Yoongi: he just wanted an excuse to show him all his love.
  • Hoseok: ohhh. That makes sense.
  • Namjoon: sometimes I think I need a new family.
  • Seokjin: don't you dare leave me!
  • Namjoon: I wouldn't! Never!
  • Yoongi: you're more hopeless than Kookie.
The Master of Diaper - Batmom x Batkids/Bruce Wayne

Summary : It’s a war between your four sons, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian…To know who’s the best at changing their little brother’s, Thomas, diapers. A rather intense war really, as they all want to become “The master of Diapers”. 

Just a short silly fic that came up to me while I was drifting off to sleep. And in case you’re wondering who “Thomas” is, here’s the fic that introduces him : “Shaky steps and bad teaching”. Hope you like it ahem : 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_________________________________________________

You always impressed Bruce, always.

The way you wouldn’t let anyone walk on your feet, and use your sarcasms and wits to get out of any “bad social situations” was impressive to him.

The way you always managed to make people around you smile and laugh, even him and your brooding sons, was impressive to him. 

The way you always seem to find the right words to comfort someone, or to tell your feelings, was impressive to him. 

The way you trained, even harder than him sometimes, was impressive to him. 

The way you fought, so fiercely and fearlessly, was impressive to him. 

The way you seemed to know everything, like you always had the answer to people’s questions (about ANYTHING), was impressive to him. 

And oh if he really had to list everything that he found impressive in you, it would take too many years. Yes, you always impressed your Bruce. Always. 

But today, you surpassed even yourself ! Your cleverness, he knew it now, had no bound ! Damn smart woman you were. 

What impressed him so much ? The way you so easily manipulated your sons into changing their little brother’s dirty diapers. It was such genius that he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you, admiration shining in his eyes. And the worst thing was, that you didn’t even know you were so awesome, and the only person he truly admired in this universe…Which made you even more awesome. 

It was really clever, the way you ended up convincing your sons to take care of their little brother’s, Thomas, dirty diapers. You played on their competitive side. One day, as Bruce was changing Thomas, you just dropped a “Wow, you’re slow, I bet even Damian could be faster than you”, which confused him a little bit. It wasn’t like you to say such things but…Oh, but of course. The boys were in the room, and he swore he saw their ears moving, quite like dogs, as they heard what their mother just said. 

It was a smart move really. Right after saying that, and therefor attracting their attention on the two of you, you heavily hinted that it took lots of skills to properly change diapers, and that you’d be impressed if you saw anyone do it in less than a minute…They took it as a challenge. Of course they did. 

As Bruce was finishing to change Thomas’ diaper (rather fast to be honest), Damian approached and said : 

-I bet mom is right, and I can be faster than you, father. 

Of course, now he said that, Tim had to add : 

-And I bet I’d be faster than you. 

Jason and Dick couldn’t be out of this little game, and felt like they were obligated to say : 

-Yeah right you little munchkins, I bet I will do it faster. Hey, stop repeating what I say ! Stop. Stop. STOP ! JASON/DICK ! HAHA ! Erf…

And so it started. 

The long race to who was going to become “The Master of Diapers”. 

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Stuck on Repeat - Part 3

In case you missed them, here are Part 1 and Part 2 for bar fight! Everlark. Before you ask, there will be one final chapter because there is a smut scene that I feel is a must have before I leave this universe. It’s a dirty job, but for the sake of loose ends, it must be done. ;-)

WARNINGS: RATED E for some filthy smut. Also, Mrs. Mellark is true to form in this one. You’ve been warned. I am not responsible for casualties caused by dining utensils, either real or imagined.


Precise laughter floats on the air in a frighteningly hushed dining room. No clanking of fine porcelain dishes or scraping of silver forks here. No boisterous comments or smashing of empty glass beer bottles as they land in 15 gallon recycle bins. Maybe the odd ring of crystal as someone calls for or finishes a toast. No loud rock and roll or Tom Jones stuck on repeat, just the grating softness of some classic piano concerto that makes her want to scratch out her ear drums right now.

Capitol Country Club is so different from what she’s used to that Katniss keeps shifting in her seat and can’t stop thinking about the sweat stains that are probably now marring the armpits of her bargain rack dress that must be at least five seasons old and came from a one-off designer brand store. Thankfully, Johanna has a secret passion for fashion and was able to magically work the dress into something that looked custom rather than clearance. Then she called in her girlfriend, Madge, to work miracles with Katniss’ hair and even some minor makeup. By the time they were done, Katniss felt confident and gorgeous.

Until she met the discerning, glacial blue eyes of Peeta’s mother, that is…

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Osomatsu-san PS Vita game translation - Ichimatsu 11 - Rental Family

Ichimatsu: There there, kitty.  

Cat: Meow. 

Ichimatsu: Look it’s a stalk of foxtail. Is that fun? 

Cat: Meow! Meow! Meow! 

Ichimatsu: So that is fun. 

Cat: Meow! Meow meow meow! 

Ichimatsu: Hmm? What have you found? This is… Some kind of… screw? 

Cat: Meow? 

Ichimatsu: Hey, this isn’t food. I’ll feed you later, so hold on for now. 

Cat: Meow! 

Ichimatsu: Still why is something like this…? …Well, whatever. 

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Gosh, Stop Flirting.

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Summary: Dean’s packed up all of his stuff and is ready to give up and say yes to Michael leaving you and Sam behind. Cas decides to show him the future he could have if he has faith in his family instead.
Word Count: 2,200
Warnings: fluffy with a little bit of angst, canon divergence, language.
A/N:  Based on an episode from season 5 called Point of no return. Only the beginning though when he’s going to say yes to Michael. Beta’d by @nighttimenoodle 

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tell me what child
has not responded to the question,
“how was school today?”
and didn’t, at least once, respond with,
“it was fine.”

now tell me what child’s mom
responds to the “fine”
with a scream so loud it creates
a hurricane,
the ocean waves make their way to the car ride home from school and
you are drowning and
drowning and
drowning underneath
her screams.

and then - radio silence.

my mom can go
weeks, months, and months and
months and months
without saying one word to me.
without touching me, talking to me,
loving me.
loving me.

my mom is an all-star
love withholder.

when I was in fourth or fifth grade,
my mom was filled with
red-hot rage and I cannot remember
what I did to fill her body with it.
but I can see her in my mind,
an empty outlined body
overflowing with red crayon colored in;
she was so angry. so angry.
and I am not sure if I was the one
with the crayon in hand, or
if she is the one who put the crayon
inside of my palm and
closed it tightly and then
convinced me that I was the one
who did something wrong.
that I was the one
who caused her to become dried out of all her love.
from hurricane to desert,
body outline on paper colored in with red and
in this memory I am not sure
that I even knew there was water
or a drought.

but during this period of,
“I’m angry so I don’t love you anymore,”
there was a day when
instead of arriving 45 minutes late
to pick me up after after-care,
she arrived 45 minutes early.
when I saw her walk through the gym doors
my face became alight with glee at
the sight of a mom being there;
the sight of MY mom having
cared for me enough to arrive
on time. earlier
than on time.
and I ran from the edge of the gym to
the door which she came through
and into her arms,
I grabbed all of my weight and
at her I threw myself. I hugged her hips
and smiled and smiled and
as my arms stayed wrapped around her,
hers stayed stick straw next to her sides.
never once did she raise
even a finger,
never once did she even THINK
about hugging me back.
when I realized I was alone in my love
I let go and I searched her face
for at least a tiny shred of,
“I love you, I’m just angry.”
but came up empty;
I always came up empty.
she grabbed me by the wrist and said,
LET’S GO.
and I felt my light face fill up with shameful pink and
I shut my eyes so tight I swore
the skin would rip;
I kept them shut, shut, shut
until the world was so dark I could have sworn that I saw stars
because I didn’t want to see anyone
look at the way I was unloved
after sharing so much of myself.

my childhood
went like this.
this. this was it.
I only received love from mom
when I didn’t want
to be touched.
when I didn’t need
to be loved. when I didn’t
want
her
to
fake
it.

my mom used the silent treatment
when she wanted me to know
that she was angry /
my mom was angry when I did something
that anyone my age
would have done /
my mom told me that
if someone doesn’t say that they love you
at least twice a day,
that means that /
they /
don’t /
love /
you. /

everyday my mom reminded me
that if you do not allow your tired vocal cords
to vibrate the words, “I love you,”
at the people you care for,
they will DIE
and when they DIE
they will DIE thinking that YOU DIDN’T LOVE THEM.

when my mom was angry at me,
she would not tell me
that she loved me.
when my mom was angry at me,
she would not speak to me at all.
when my mom was angry at me,
she become the epitome
of a child in a fight with another child
and she would go into
Silent Treatment Mode;
I would cry at her feet until she decided
to give me mercy.
I would tell her
how sorry I was, how truly
sorry I was for taking that crayon
and coloring her in red,
how sorry I was and
how much I didn’t mean it.
“it”.
how much I didn’t
mean “it”.

and finally,
with tears seeping into my cheeks
and my face turned pink in a deep
guilty shame, she would say,
“okay.” and then I would beg,
I would plead with my red, tear-soaked eyes,
“I love you!” “I love you!” until she would take the bait and finally say,
“I love you, too.”

and all was well.

until the next time:
until the next “fine”
until the next hurricane,
until the next drought.
until the next time I grab the red crayon
and color her outline red all over again.

that was all it was.
it was nothing more than the crayon
because I never really knew
why she decided she would go silent.
there was never an explanation,
there was only the,
I-am-angry-at-you-so-I-don’t-love-you-anymore.
that was it.

my mom is an all-star
love withholder.
so don’t be surprised when
I am holding onto your feet
as you try to walk away and
you drag me on the concrete because
you say you need a break and
I cry onto your shoes until
you remind me
that you love me.

—  LOVE WITHHOLDER (han hyland)

anonymous asked:

Hi i recently watched some random videos of kai with other people like taemin , & other members of exo specially sehun & baekhyun ! I've seen kyungsoo with other members specially with chanyeol ! but about kyungsoo he is really different with kai in specific . But kai seems to have romantic moments with every members & that made me frustated ! Can you specify some moments or facts that can heal my heart ? like no kai only does that to kyungsoo ! can you please do that ?

hello there ❤️


First I wanna talk about Kyungsoo ..
Kyungsoo is really kinda of tough when he is in front of the camera, but they all said he is cute one like his co-workers and Kai who once said when some fans asked him to choose an animal for Kyungsoo he said two : sloth and koala ..
So if you notice they are all clingy ^_^ and this could tell a lot .. like Kyungsoo is clingy to him and he is huggable and etc ..
Kyungsoo was like that from 2012 until almost 2014 / so since 2015 Kyungsoo starts to get more tougher in general and he was wary and careful ..
maybe he had more pressures on that year or maybe he got effected from the blind gay rumor which start in 2015 …who knows!!!
But really they were so intimate in the airport and backstage too from what we saw by the fancams ..
again until 2015 ..

And about Chanyeol , he is so into skinship, like soooo much and I really don’t even try to analyze the members who like to do fan-service or a lot of skinship , Chanyeol is so close to Kyungsoo also Sehun , I love their friendship..
But again , don’t give any thought to the kpop stars who always do skinship as a fan-service or just they naturally love skinship cause if you do then they have like a hundred lovers LOL..

And let me talk about Kai ..
Just like I mentioned in the previous lines ..
Taemin is so into skinship , and sooo into fan-service too , just like Chanyeol and maybe worse , I love Shinee and I saw so many shows for them and concerts too ..
And believe me Kai is NO special thing ..
Taemin always do skinship and clingy things to all the members he is close to ..
Taemin is his close friend I mean come on ! they were practicing together since they were like 12 or 13 I think !!!
Kai said they were always in competition and when Taemin debuted first they were barely able to see each others but they start to be friends again when EXO debut so its like four years of them being not close !! even though they still see each other in the company..
I really think SM try her best to exaggerate their relationship..
Sure they are close friends I don’t deny that but What I meant is SM push them in the front line to let people ship them just as they pull Kaisoo back to the end of the line …
So again … Don’t follow the members who like to do fan-service and skinship you will misunderstand them ..

So dear friend you said ( romantic moments with every members ) ? I mean like what is your definition of romantic moments !!!
holding hand is romantic!! because even friends hold hand !! Hugging !! also friends do that !! laugh together !! Touch each others !! Almost all korean people do that ..
But .. here the magic comes babe ..
he doesn’t do this with Kyungsoo …and I mean barely not like zero ..
So he doesn’t hug him like he hug others !!!
its maybe just they hugged twice or maybe three in front of official cam , only in 5 years !!!!!
And they never go and touch each others hand or play with each others fingers or show each others stomach, they never pretend to kiss each others like the members do for fun in the concerts and etc ..
Why !!!
Because they supposed to ..
they should be careful in front of the crowd ..
why kaisoo is the only couple who have so many rumors even before debut !!
And why they are the only two on EXO who still roommates since 2011 until now !
And why when the gayrumor showed after two weeks SM immediately Announced KXK out of the blue !! And why Kai and Kyungsoo were teary and so sad and they couldn’t even look at each others after sm announces Kai’s dating news !!
Why he couldn’t even look at Kyungsoo’s eyes who was clearly ignoring him … its not something need any analyze , its crystal clear to anyone .. even my grandmother will notice them LoL ..
Well there is so many why/s I can put here ..
But let me say more about Kai ..
-only when Kyungsoo talk Kai turn and give his back to all the members and start to listen to what Kyungsoo say or should I say just to stare at him !!
-When Kai has any complaining he turns to tell Kyungsoo or Suho , so Suho is the leader and Kyungsoo is his wife lol ..
-at Kai’s sister wedding Kai went with only Suho the leader , Baekhyun which they say he is favorite member for the bride , and Kyungsoo !! The calm and quiet member was there !! Yeah because he is the boyfriend and he is member of the family ^_^
-Kai said many times he and Kyungsoo always watch movies together, so why they don’t invite the other members to their room , they never did..
-Kai is the only one who noticed Kyungsoo’s pain back there at 2013 in Hong Kong ..
And he is the only one was slowing his steps just to wait for Kyungsoo ..
-Kyungsoo is the only member who Kai always praises him like so proudly..
-Should I mention how he stares at him whether he is talking or not , even when other members talk he look at Kyungsoo’s face and admire it ..
-should I mention he call him Jagi !!! Like he did it in front of the cam not just a rumor !!!
-or when Suho was talking about EXO-M and the Chinese fan Kai whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear “ Wou Ai Ni ” which means in Chinese I love you .. and it was pretty clear if you read his lips which all the fans did already so hehehe..
-Kai always follows Kyungsoo and there is so many moments he was obviously jealous over him , they also always wear the same clothes not a couple clothes, its the same piece , I saw over 30 pictures of this .. and NO they don’t its only the two of them …
-There is so many fancams for them out of the main cameras , they touch each others , but why in front of the crowd out there they don’t!!
why when Kai feel sick or tried Kyungsoo is the first one he go to ! And when be need to change or fix anything he went to Kyungsoo only which remind me of my dad how he always go to mom to fix his tie or help him with his clothes..
-Finally , Kaisoo are so sincere you can notice this in their eyes when they look at each other..they don’t try to impress any fans , they don’t act , they don’t fake skinship to make fans scream , they don’t pretend, so real and sincere.. I’m so touched right now T-T

Girl .. My fingers hurt me and still there is so many things I want to say LoL sorry I already spell so many thoughts ..
But again , don’t judge any relationship by the skinship .. its a very wrong way specially in the Kpop …
Stay strong and I wish I swept some of your frustration , and if someone want to add extra it will be great …
Xoxo

What have you done? (1/?) (Justin Foley x Reader)

Summary: You’re the new kid in Liberty High, and everybody is freaking out about some tapes from a girl you never heard of. You start dating your neighbor, Justin, that goes to another school. Everything is going just fine until you finally find out what the hell happened to Hannah Baker.

Warnings: there is a spoiler from episode 9.

It’s not finished btw. It will probably have a part two :)

——————————————

It was still early when you heard a knock in your apartment’s door. You lived alone, so you had to answer yourself. Your hair was still wet from the shower and you had only a black bra and blue jeans on. You didn’t mind. It was a weird time for anyone but Justin, your boyfriend and neighbor, show up. Leaning your ear against the door, you asked who was it for precaution.

“It’s me, babe” Justin’s voice answered. You let him in, and the first thing he did was check you out with a smile on his face. “Okay, you’re teasing. Just admit it. You enjoy my pain”

“I’m not teasing. It’s your fault. If you had arrived just two minutes later, I would be fully dressed” you laughed softly, then turned your back to him, going back to your room. Before you could take a single step, Justin pulled you back by the waist.

“I like it better when you’re shirtless” he whispered, then put his hands on your neck, gently pressing his thumbs on your throat. You felt his lips against yours and what started as a sweet kiss suddenly turned into an intense make out session. Which turned into sex.

—————————-

“GOD DAMN IT” you yelled, scaring Justin so much he almost fell out of bed. “Shit, shit, shit” you mumbled as you picked up your clothes from the floor and graceless put them on.

“What’s the matter? Why are you yelling?” He covered his face with a pillow.

“Justin, the third period is almost over. I’ll have to hurry if I wanna make it to the fourth” you realized your shirt was inside out, so you had to take it off and put it back on properly.

“I don’t wanna make it to the fourth” he said with a grin.

“Your school doesn’t call your parents when you miss out too many classes. Liberty High does and this is, like, the fifth time this year I skipped school to fool around with you. They will call my mom and she will drag me back to Arizona!” you were totally freaking out, so much you couldn’t even remember where you left your backpack.

“I’m sorry, did you say ‘fool around’? Am I just an object to satisfy your sexual needs?” he pretended to be crying, which made you look at him and laugh. He pressed both hands on the left side of his chest, faking a heart attack.

“God Justin, you’re an idiot”

“Yeah” he said, and got up from the bed too quickly for you to run away. He picked you up by the tights and put you on the table.

“Not agaaaaain” you sighed before Justin could kiss you. “I have to go to school and satisfy my learning needs”

“Okay, okay” he was about to let you go, but that grin suddenly showed up again on his handsome little face. “Oh, wait. I think I can change your mind. I have something to tell you and you won’t be able to resist”

You rolled your eyes.

“You wish”

“Are you ready? Here it goes” he breathed in and out, but the grin disappeared just as fast as it came. Justin looked serious. He coughed a few times, ran his fingers through his hair, then looked away from you and stared at the floor. “Okay, no, you go. I can’t tell you like that”

“Tell me what?” You asked, but he simply put you back on the floor.

“Text me when you get to school and I’ll tell you by message. I can’t do it looking at you. It’s… well… I don’t… Jesus, I can’t even talk like a normal person. Just go away and I’ll let you know in a text” he just went on like a machine gun, so fast you barely understood. You didn’t had a chance to ask again. He picked up his clothes and left the apartment with only his underwear on. Luckily, his place was just next door.

———————————–

[You | 11:04 A.M.] I’m at school. tell me now and hurry bc the bell is about to ring
[You | 11:04 A.M.] come onnnnnnnn
[You | 11:04 A.M.] babe I’m waiting
[You | 11:04 A.M.] if it rings before I hear from you I swear to god justin foley
[You | 11:05 A.M.] i will MURDER you
[You | 11:05 A.M.] jussssstinnnnnnn
[You | 11:06 A.M.] you’re dead. seriously.
[You | 11:06 A.M.] damn justin. the bell rang. now I’ll have to wait till noon!

You put your phone on your bag angrily. You didn’t reacted well to curiosity, especially when it came from Justin. You cared too much about him and you needed to be in control all the time, otherwise it just felt like you might lose him. To hell with cared too much. You loved him. You started to think maybe he wanted to break up or maybe he cheated, and you were glad you hadn’t told him you loved him yet. Then you remembered whatever was it that he wanted you to know was supposed to make you want to spend more time with him, so your paranoia went away.

“Miss (Y/L/N), do you mind answering the question I just asked the class?” Mr. Hoechlin called you, and you felt your face burn.

“Well, of course, my beloved teacher. The answer is… uhhhh… no. Definitely no.” you said, jokingly, hoping it was the right answer even though it was absolutely clear you had no idea what the question was. You barely finished your sentence when the whole class burst into laughters.

“Very well, miss (Y/L/N). You’re truly a prodigious child. The future of our nation” the teacher said, which made people laugh even more.

You turned around to a familiar face, Clay’s, and saw a shy smile on his face. He wanted to laugh, but he was your friend so he tried really hard to conceal it.

“Okay, Argila” you called by the nickname you gave him, which was portuguese for clay/loam. He didn’t even frown this time. He was too busy laughing-without-laughing. “What was the question anyway?”

“He asked how much…” Clay started, but then he interrupted his sentence. He was looking at something right behind you. You were about to turn around and look for whatever caught his eye, but he talked again. “Huh… who’s Justin, Y/N?”

“My boyfriend slash neighbor. I told you about him” you answered and turned around. Your phone was lighting up with texts from Justin.

“You never told me his name… but, uh, he isn’t by any chance… Justin Foley… is he?” Clay sounded a little upset, but also something else. Almost like he was worried about me.

“You know him?” you asked, surprised.

“God damn it (Y/N). Out of every asshole in this freaking city, you had to be Justin Foley’s girlfriend?!” He was a little loud, but thankfully no one heard.

“What are you talking about?”

“Wait until this period is over” Clay was somewhere between crazy angry and crazy worried.

It felt like ten years passed by till that bell rang. You and Clay got out of the class faster than anyone else, and he pulled you into an empty room. He sighed loudly and heavily.

“Okay, shoot” you said, anxious. The whole thing got into your skin so badly that you even forgot to check Justin’s messages. You had a bad feeling about whatever was it that Clay wanted you to know. You didn’t want to hear it but you wanted it to be over asap. He didn’t spoke a single word. “Clay! Seriously! Tell me now!”

He looked into your eyes, and all the anger was gone. You realized he wasn’t just worried, he was sad. He knew he was about to shatter your heart into a million pieces. And so he did.

———————————–

You knocked in Justin’s door with so much strength that your hand started to hurt and bruise. You knew he was home. He was probably procrastinating on his couch like he did everyday after school. That fucking idiot. That fucking, fucking idiot.

“JUSTIN OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW” you yelled so loud your throat burned. You heard his hurried footsteps and the noise of the keys while he gracelessly unlocked the door to let you in.

You didn’t even look at him. You were so mad that your whole vision was red and blurry. He reached out for you quickly, tried to touch your arm and desperately checked out if you were hurt or something. You pushed him and, since he wasn’t expecting it, he did move a few inches back.

“(Y/N)…”

“You shut up and listen!” you weren’t screaming anymore, but your voice was filled with hate and anger. He shut the door with his foot and walked towards you, but you backed away.

“Babe I’m sorry that I told you by text, but I didn’t had the guts to tell you in person”

“I didn’t even read your text, that’s not what this is about”

He seemed a little hurt.

“You didn’t read it” you couldn’t tell if it was a question or an affirmation. You didn’t care either.

“I was too busy finding out you spread out lies that lead a girl to kill herself and, oh, also you let a guy RAPE your last girlfriend!” your throat ached. Justin looked like he was punched in the stomach repeatedly. His eyes filled with tears immediately. “Oh stop crying, it’s too late for that”

He didn’t move or say anything. He just stood there and cried, not much at first, but then his silent tears turned into sobbing and it looked like he was hardly breathing. Still, he didn’t move a finger. Neither did you.

It just went on and on. He wouldn’t stop. It was so horrible, the whole thing, that you started crying too. The second he noticed, he forced himself to stop crying and ran to you.

“No, no, baby please don’t cry” Justin said with a broken voice. He tried to wipe your tears but you didn’t let him.

“Why, Justin? Why would you do that?” you asked, so low he barely heard. He breathed heavily.

“Bryce… he gave me everything. He was all I had. Since we were kids he and his family, they knew… they knew things about me” he looked away.

“This is not the time for secrets” you spoke more fiercely now.

“I’m sorry. I mean- Bryce and his family knew about the things that happened in my house. My mom took a lot of guys home and they were all just… animals, you know? They would choke me, beat me, kick me, punch me, and my mom would just stand there and watch. They didn’t give me food and didn’t give me money to buy it myself. They let me starve for days. Sometimes there wasn’t even water, just their vodka and their whiskey. It was hell, (Y/N). All the food I had, Bryce was the one who gave me. All my clothes. All the pain killers. It was all him, always. He was a brother to me. I let him share Hannah’s picture, but I hated myself for it. Unfortunately I wasn’t man enough to stop him or even apologize to Hannah. And I let him inside the room with Jessica, yes, but I didn’t want to. I tried to tell him she was my girlfriend and I didn’t want him to touch her. He didn’t listen. When I tried to stop him he pushed me out and locked the door. I could have done more, I know that. I could have screamed and called the cops, but I couldn’t do it to either of them. Jessica would be exposed, Bryce would go to jail. I loved them, both of them. I just couldn’t”

You listened to every word in complete silence, your eyes widened. You didn’t know about any of the things he said about his house situation. He never told you. Also, he never even mentioned Bryce or Jessica. You didn’t even know he used to go to Liberty High until Clay told you.

“I don’t know you at all” you whispered. “I have to leave. I need some time to think… to figure it all out, I mean”

Justin nodded, looking heartbroken. You quietly made your way to the door and left, stopping only to give him a sad glance before closing the door behind you. You entered your apartment, ripped off your shoes aggressively and lied down on the carpet. You felt your phone buzz inside your jeans’ pocket and slowly reached out for it. You saw lots of notifications, the most recent coming from Clay.

[Argila | 3:32 P.M.] Hey
[Argila | 3:45 P.M.] I’m worried about you
[Argila | 3:57 P.M.] Did you talk to Justin?
[Argila | 4:01 P.M.] (Y/N) please answer me
[Argila | 4:01 P.M.] if I don’t hear from you until 4:15 I’ll send the police to your building

You checked the time. 4:13 p.m., still on time.

[You | 4:13 P.M.] chill

You checked your other notifications and saw the texts Justin sent you while you were at class. You knew you would regret it, but you opened his chat.

[Justin | 11:27 A.M.] Okay here it goes
[Justin | 11:27 A.M.] I’m sorry I only said it once in my life and even then it ended up badly
[Justin | 11:27 A.M.] I’m afraid and I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you like a normal guy would… looking at your beautiful face and holding your hands
[Justin | 11:28 A.M.] but I can’t so you’ll have to settle for this
[Justin | 11:28 A.M.] I love you
[Justin | 11:28 A.M.] So much it aches
[Justin | 11:29 A.M.] You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t ever wanna lose you

The signs as shit my sister has said.

Aquarius: What if we called our eyebrows, eyeBROS?

Pisces: Who would think something covered in holes would be so warm.

Aries: (When people get mad at me for being confident in my singing.)
If you’ve been playing soccer for 12 years and you can’t kick the ball, that’s pretty sad.

Taurus: Instead of two women fighting each other to the death I want them to fight some else to the death… together.

Gemini: “I thought you said you buried the hatchet!”
“I dug it up, bitch.”

Cancer: [Can’t find the mozzarella sticks]
Panic! At the Freezer.

Capricorn: Me on a good day: (holding knife to your throat) YAINT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

Sagittarius: (Looking at unclicked pen) It’s off.

Scorpio: I say bedroom, hands say hospital

Libra: Okee dokee artichokemedaddy

Virgo: I told mom she could bring me something from Costco and I hope she took that as bring me poutine.

Leo: Me, a gay, somehow just became my friend’s fake girlfriend for two seconds a day.

Falling In Reverse - One

Spencer x Reader

Y/N was not ready for this. At all.

Flying, she hated it. But it was a necessary evil if she wanted to visit her family. Which she did but she also didn’t. Y/N going home for her sister’s wedding. Her younger sister’s wedding. And she was going alone, armed with a barrage of replies to the ‘why are you single?’ questions she knew she’d get from her relatives. None of her answers would satisfy them though. But she’d cope. There was a free bar, that was going to get her through it.

Glancing around the plane briefly Y/N saw that it seemed full of tourists, people visiting Vegas for the first time. There was that sense of buzz and and excitement in the air. The buzz and excitement that she no longer felt. Having lived there for eighteen years it quickly wore off, as did the constant, “Oh you’re from Vegas? Can you count cards?” No, she couldn’t. But she was a pretty decent poker player so she did at least fit that one stereotype. Y/N had moved away for college when she was eighteen and now ran a small bookshop in Virginia. It wasn’t what she’d expected to be doing at 26 years old but she loved it all the same. There was just something about books, the smell of them, the feel of them in her hands knowing that the pages contained an entirely different universe sometimes, one that she could immerse herself in. Y/N had started working there at college and when the previous manager had left, Sally the elderly owner had offered her the job. As she wasn’t particularly doing very well in her chosen studies, she’d taken it.

Slipping her book between her leg and the side of the seat, Y/N clutched her bottled water and cursed herself for not buying any hard candy to suck on. She hated flying, taking off and landing was the worst, and sometimes she suffered from an intense pressure build up in her ears which gave Y/N a headache for days. At the moment though it looked like she was going to be lucky enough to have an entire row of three seats to herself, it was approaching takeoff time and so far no one else had claimed the other seats.

“Excuse me, excuse me.. ” a tall man with brown hair that looked like it hadn’t seen a hairbrush let alone touched one in years was trying to skirt around the air hostess that was helping the family in the row behind. Managing to slip by, he took out a few items and then stashed his satchel in the overhead locker before flopping down into the seat at the end of the row.

Guess you weren’t going to have the row to yourself after all, Y/N thought to herself

She tried not to look at him as he fidgeted, trying to fold his long legs into a comfortable seating position for the flight. Finally getting settled, he gave Y/N a quick look and then pulled out his book, burying his head into it.

The crew got ready for take off, neither Y/N or the man sat by her paying any attention to the safety instructions the air hostesses went through. Y/N was a seasoned flyer as much as she disliked it and she assumed he was too. As the plane sped down the run way Y/N closed her eyes and breathed deeply, her hands clutching the arm rests as the palne took off.

As the plane gained altitude Y/N started to feel that familar pressure building in her ears. She began to swallow, wishing she had some candy to suck on, it always helped in the past. Her ears popped once and then almost immediately the pressure began to rebuild.

“Do you want something to suck on?”

A voice came from her right and Y/N’s eyes flew open. It was the man sat next to her looking at her with concern. Y/N swallowed hard, her ear giving a little squeak.

“Pardon?”

“Would you like something to suck on?” he asked again, clearly not realising how his offer sounded. Y/N stifled a laugh, wincing slightly as her ear went again.

“I think they frown upon that here,” she told him seeing his brow furrow.

Y/N could almost see the penny dropping in his mind and his cheeks blushed a furious red as he fumbled in his pocket pulling out a packet of hard candy.

“Sweets, I meant sweets!”

He was cute, a little squeak to his voice.

“Are you sure? Cos it sounded like you were propositioning me…..”

He fidgeted again looking extremely uncomfortable and Y/N grinned, the interaction with this cute stranger distracting her from her own discomfort.

“Look, do you want one or not?” he thrust the packet towards her and Y/N took one, popping it into her mouth and tasting the sweet but tangy taste of lemon sherberts, her favourite.

“Thank you. I appreciate it…. And I’m sorry for making fun.”

“It’s okay. I do realise how it sounded,” he sounded more relaxed suddenly and Y/N turned to study him.

He was definitely attractive, even despite the messy hair. Strong jawline, hazel eyes and plump pink lips. He was dressed in courdroys and a pale blue button down shirt with a navy cardigan thrown over the top. One leg was tucked under the other and he had converse on his large feet. His hands rested on his lap, twiddling with the ends of his cardigan and she could see a watch worn over the sleeve of his jacket rather than under. Y/N wondered how old he was, she couldn’t quite tell.

“I wonder if that line would ever work on anyone?” she pondered out loud.

“Probably not. Now I think about it, said to the wrong person and it would probably earn someone a slap round the face.”

Y/N laughed and she could see the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

“Good job I’m not the wrong person then.” Hearing a ping she looked up and saw that the seat belt sign had flashed off. Phew, that meant the worst of it was over and Y/N just had to endure the rest of the flight praying there wasn’t any turbulence.

The man beside her unbuckled his belt immediately, readjusting his position slightly. Glancing down he saw Y/N still had hers fastened.

“Erm… You can take your belt off you know. The seat belt sign is off.”

She raised your eyebrow at him. “Wow. First you offer me something to suck on, now you’re trying to convince me to take my belt off.”

The man turned red again.“ I… I….. I…” he stuttered. Y/N burst out laughing.

“It’s not nice that you’re making fun of me you know. I’m just trying to be helpful,” he looked like a puppy that had just been kicked and she suddenly felt bad.

“Shit… I’m sorry. I just… It’s just… I didn’t mean to upset you….”

When he smirked, a glorious smile crossing his face reaching up into his eyes, she knew that he’d been messing with her. He spoke again.

“Truce? No more innuendos? At least I’ll try… ”

“Haha. Okay, truce. You don’t proposition me again and I won’t tease you about it. I do have to thank you though. You’ve distracted me so far. I hate flying and you’ve made taking off much more enjoyable than it usually is.”

“Well… I’m, erm.. I’m glad I could help. I think… ” he tucked a loose lock of hair back behind his ear and then coughed slightly before continuing, “I’m Spencer.”

Attractive name for an attractive man.

“I’m….” Y/N glanced upwards quickly. “I’m Charley.”

Spencer narrowed his eyes and then the corners of his mouth twitched upwards again.

“You’re not, but that’s okay. I’m a stranger and you don’t want to give me your actual name, I get it.. That’s very smart.”

“How… How did you know?”

“I work for the FBI. I’m a profiler so I’m trained to read body language amongst other things. You looked up before speaking, first sign someone is lying.”

FBI? Wow.

“Oh… Okay. I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t know you and the last movie I watched where someone befriended her fellow plane passenger, well. He tried to kill her.”

“Red Eye, right?”

Y/N nodded and he continued, “I’m no Jackson Rippner trust me. Those are the type of guys I catch. But like I say, I understand.”

“So Spencer, are you heading to Vegas on business then? Is there a bad guy I should be aware of?” She kinda wanted to keep talking to this guy despite not wanting to tell him her real name. Not yet anyway.

“Not business. I’m from Vegas actually, I’m visiting my mom. What about you, Charley.. ”

Y/N smiled at his use of her fake name.

“I’m from Vegas too. But I live in Virginia now. I’m going home for my sister’s wedding, something I’m not looking forward to at all.”

“Can I ask why not, or is that too personal?”

Over the next four hours Y/N and Spencer talked about her family and her upbringing. He told Y/N about his job and then about his Mom, looking suprised with himself and then revealing that he rarely talked about her. When the plane started it’s descent he distracted her again, talking about his favourite books. When Y/N eventually disembarked they walked together to the luggage terminal and Y/N and Spencer both hesitated, knowing they had to go their separate ways.

Digging in her bag, Y/N pulled out her cell phone.

“So I guess it’s my time to proposition you. Could I maybe get your number? Maybe we could hang out here, or when we get back to Virginia?”

Spencer blushed again but recited a series of digits which she saved in her phone. She quickly called him, seeing him pulling out his phone with her own number flashing up on the screen.

“There, now you have my number too,” she told him.

“So I do. But what do I save it under? Charley or…?” he asked and she smiled softly.

“Y/N. Save it under Y/N.”

zero0000  asked:

Here's a dumb idea: Mighty Ranger Danger opens for Pop Superstar Tommy Oliver

A typical backstage encounter while Ranger Danger is touring with Tommy Is A Girl’s Name:

“Found it!” Zack announces triumphantly, holding up his phone. “Our Article Title of The Week. I know it’s only Wednesday, but I’m calling it now.” 

This has become a Thing that Zack does.

Turns out, the boy has a gift for finding the absolute worst tweets/posts/articles that reference one or more of them (either in Ranger Danger or Power Ranger form), to the delight of pretty much no one but Zack himself. It’s caused some real trauma; none of the Rangers are sure they’ve recovered from a particularly disturbing tweet involving Jason’s abs and an ice cream sundae. (Jason had hit the ‘block’ button with enough force to break the computer mouse.) 

And yet Zack persists. He even clears his throat. 

“Popstar Lesbian Love Triangle? Tommy Oliver Spotted Cozying Up with Ranger Danger Ladies!”

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The CRONCH: a Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction

(Quick note before we start:
@dearevanhansenheadcanons hey! I was the anon who submitted that headcanon [i had to use anon cause my main blog, the one I’m using to submit rn is actually for study stuff. This fic is also on my secondary blog @justamusicalobsessedkid] about Jared inventing a new edible bath bomb at Lush and I actually wrote an entire story on it!! Thus, The CRONCH ~ a Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction was created. Anyway, hope you give this a quick look. Thanks!!!)

The CRONCH

Jared Kleinman was a strange boy.
Strange, yes, but no one could deny the fact that he was intelligent in a way, particularly in anything technology related.
In his own words: “I’ve got skills, son.”
However, Jared wasn’t limited to his skills in the digital world. No one ever expected the young man to have a talent for innovation, as well.
Evan Hansen stood in the midst of shelves filled with bath bombs at Lush, waiting for his friend to finally finish his shift for the day.
“What time do you even end? Mom said for me to be with you by six-thirty. ”
“I get out of this perfume-scented hell hole at six. Why does your mom even want you to hang out with me?” Came the reply from Jared, restocking a shelf full of green and blue bath bombs.
Evan shrugged. “Because you’re my friend, aren’t you? I mean, you did tell me after we made up when the whole Connor thing was over that I wasn’t just a family-friend anymore. Also my mom’s taking the night shift again and she doesn’t want me to be lonely so I gotta stay the night over at your place, now.”
“Fine then.” Jared said, just as he finished placing all the small spherical bath bombs unto the shelf, leaving one to slip into his jacket pocket.
Evan’s eyes widened.
“You steal bath bombs?” He screeched.
Jared hurriedly made a ‘shush’ sign at the other boy and turned his head towards the room behind the main shop, checking to see if his boss was anywhere around.
He breathed a sigh of relief upon not seeing George, his boss, anywhere in earshot. He was far out the back of the shop, taking a phone call. Jared glared at Evan, fixing his glasses momentarily.
“Shut up, will you? If Cranky Old George finds out, I’m out the door.” He hissed.
“I save them for myself and sometimes even my mom likes them. Besides,” the sarcastic boy added half jokingly, “they almost look good enough to eat.”
Evan stammered, staring at the his sneakers. “S-sorry. But I-I-I mean, why don’t you just buy them?”
“Says the guy who only paid me twenty bucks to make fake emails.” Jared shot back.
“Point taken.”
The clock struck five-fifty.
Jared brushed the bath bomb dust off on his jeans.
“Stay there, I’ll just go out back and see if I still have something to do. If I don’t, the old one’ll let me go early.”
Evan nodded, turning to examine the Lush products that filled the entire shop.

Within minutes, he heard loud, angry talking coming from the back room. He gulped nervously, even considering just getting out of the shop and going to the Kleinman residence on his own, just when Jared came right out of the back room.
He had a slightly worried expression on his face as he took off the uniform all Lush employees wore, leaving it in a messy heap on the counter.
“So,” he said. “good news is I’m getting let off early today. Bad news—a customer called, complaining to Cranky Old George about me.”
Evan’s eyes widened. “What did they say?”
Jared snorted, speaking in a high-pitched voice that Evan knew he used when imitating elderly women while making flamboyant gestures. “'Hello, you know that laddie who works in your shop? The one who’s name tag says his name is Jared Kleinman? Well, you see, son, when I asked that young man for one of those water bombs of yours with hearts in them the lad laughed at me and asked if I was going to use it in the hot tub along with my hubby, as he—oh, what did that boy say, again? Ah, yes—sticks his di–'”
"Okay let’s stop there Jared.” Evan said, his face flushing bright pink.
“First of all,” he said, in horror. “you made ‘those’ jokes to a customer?”
Jared rolled his eyes. “Yes, brilliant observation from my small reenactment, Hansen. Do I really still need to repeat everything in that old lady voice to confirm for you? And don’t call them ‘those’ jokes, they’re my jokes and frankly, I’m quite proud of them.”
Evan sighed. It was very typical for Jared to be this way, but it did tend to get inconvenient from time to time.
“So what did your boss say?”
Jared scrunched his eyebrows, obviously thinking about what George had told—or more accurately, yelled at—him.
“Something about me having to do extra work or else he’ll fire me by next week. I gotta think of a new idea for a bath bomb in three days or something like that.”
“You what?” Evan rambled, his eyes as wide as plates. “That’s incredibly pressuring Jared, you know you could come up with a bad idea or not even come up with anything at all and then you’ll lose your job.”
“I know,” The other boy mumbled. “And this job is giving me my car insurance money. Can’t lose that now.”
The two reached the Kleinman household, with Evan in a state of mid-panic and Jared in worry for the future of his car insurance.
Mrs. Kleinman smiled at Evan the moment he stepped into the door with Jared. “Hi Evan, dear. Your mom called, said you’re supposed to stay here for the night.”
Evan nodded just as he and Jared began ascending up the stairs that led to the house’s second floor.
The worried boy dropped his bag on Jared’s bed, pacing around the room nervously. “What are you gonna do? You have, like, three days to just suddenly come up with some brilliant idea or you’ll get the boot.”
“Calm yourself, Hansen. I’ll think of something sooner or later.” Jared replied.

However, it wasn’t until during dinner when Jared finally got a good idea, which—strangely—came to him mid-sip of a glass of Kool-Aid.
His eyes widened as he jumped up from his seat so quickly he nearly knocked his glasses off his face.
Evan looked at him in concern. “Jared, what are you—?”
“Mom, do we still have Kool Aid?”
Mrs. Kleinman looked confused. “Yes, why?”
She received no answer from Jared, instead the boy rushed into the kitchen, grabbing an unused bowl from the side of the table.
Mrs. Kleinman looked at Evan, who looked as equally perplexed.
“Excuse him,” she chuckled, tilting her head to try and catch a glance at what her son was up to in the kitchen. “Jared really is rather… Odd.”
Evan managed a small smile. “I know.”
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Jared was acting completely on impulse. He pushed the thick-framed square glasses that framed his eyes up his face, flinging open the doors to the Kleinmans’ small pantry. His eyes scanned the shelves packed with bags and boxes, reaching out every once in a while to rapidly grab an item from inside. Once he decided he had everything, he set to work.
Eventually, Evan popped his head into the kitchen, checking on Jared.
“Your mom’s wondering what you’re up to.” He said, watching Jared press a sand-like mixture into spherical molds.
Jared shook his head in reply, tossing his head to the side for a moment in an attempt to brush away the few strands of hair that fell on his face without using his hands, still busy packing his creation.
When he had finished, he tossed the bowl and the spoon he used into the sink and flashed a mischievous grin up at Evan, who had been watching his friend the entire time.
“What did you just—?”
Jared chuckled excitedly. “Patience, Hansen. You’ll see.”

The next day, Jared Kleinman stood in the back room of Lush, facing his boss a little too confidently.
He brought a paper bag with him, filled with the little things he had spent around an hour making and a water jug.
Jared stuck one hand into the bag, gripping around for one of the spherical bath bombs he had made.
He beamed at George, who had began scrutinizing the young boy the minute he stepped into the shop on that day.
“May I present to you, Sir, my creation—a revolutionary breakthrough that will surely make our sales skyrocket.” He said enthusiastically, holding the bath bomb in front of George.
The older man laughed, almost in pity. “A bath bomb? Mr. Kleinman, Lush has plenty of those. I simply don’t see how this’ll be able to be 'a revolutionary breakthrough.’”
Jared laughed cockily, to George’s annoyance.
“Sir, you don’t see how my bath bomb can can be insanely cool,” He paused, chuckling, before adding “much like me.” under his breath.
Jared raised the red bath bomb to his mouth, grinning at George.
“You have to taste it.” He said, before taking a huge bite out of the bath bomb.
If Jared hadn’t caught George’s attention earlier, he certainly had now.
“Edible.” He chuckled, offering a new bath bomb to George. “They’re edible.”
George sniffed the bath bomb tentatively, before taking a small bite out of it.
It tasted wonderful, not to mention the sound it made when bitten into it was loud, noisy… Just like biting into a wafer bar but much louder. Just like crunching on trail mix, but instead of just a soft crunch, the sound was more of a loud cronch.
George was amazed. He had never seen or tasted anything like such in his life. “What—what is it made of?”
Jared smirked, seeing the amazement on his boss’ face.
“Baking soda, corn starch, powdered sugar, and critic acid for the base.” He said, taking another bite of his bath bomb. “I added Kool Aid in different flavors to give it that color and the way it tastes. Finished with rock fizz candy and edible glitter, too.”
Jared placed the water jug on the desk and uncapped it.
“Oh, and did I mention—” he said, dropping another bath bomb into the water, watching as it slowly dissolved just like a normal bath bomb would.
“You can also make a drink out of them” Jared concluded, taking a sip out of the now purple colored drink.
George shook his head in bewilderment.
“Mr. Kleinman,” he started, in pure disbelief. “This is… Amazing. You have made such a wonderful contribution to our store. I will pitch your edible bath bombs as an idea—with all credits to you, of course—and hopefully in a month or two we’ll see your bath bombs soon lining one of our shelves.”
He smiled up at his employee, reaching out to shake Jared’s hand. “I really cannot believe you created this… Figured everything out all by yourself.”
“Well,” Jared allowed himself to admit. “I still haven’t decided on what to name it. I was thinking to just sell the pink ones and name them Kinky Pinks but I felt am unavoidable shame for the other flavors that customers might also want to try.”
Luckily for him, though, George had it all figured out.
“Not a problem, Mr. Kleinman. I have a name that might just be fitting for your product…”

A month and a half passed. Lush was booming with new customers.
On a display in the middle of the store, bath bombs in every color stood out from the rest, accompanied with a sign that read:
”NEW!! the CRONCH: an edible bath bomb experience, brought to you by Lush, concept developed by our very own employee— Jared Kleinman"
To this day, Jared works at Lush, dashing around the store to attend to customers. A certain proud habit of his that developed over the days was that while assisting people, Jared would make his way over to the Cronch’s shelf and grab a bath bomb from it, taking a huge bite of it in front of the customers, who would look at him with expressions of disbelief and amazement.
This certain effective 'marketing strategy’ (as George called it) did cause Jared to be the victim of many jokes and pranks, though. A notable prank his coworkers pulled on him was done during April Fools, when they decided to switch up bath bomb displays without informing Jared—placing his edible bath bombs on a different shelf and actual bath bombs on the one his product used to rest on.
Sure enough, Jared didn’t notice the switch and just as he was entertaining a customer, he took a huge bite out of a real bath bomb as his coworkers—looking on earnestly from the counter—all burst out laughing.
He couldn’t deny the fact that he may have enjoyed the actual bath bomb, however. Even though he wouldn’t quite admit it to many.

On a particularly busy day at Lush, Evan dropped by to check on his friend again.
He smiled at Jared, who shot him a quick smirk as he took a bite out of another edible bath bomb.
“Loving the cronch, Jared?” He asked jokingly.
Jared grinned mischievously, winking. “You gotta love that cronch.”

(Small note: the recipe for the edible bath bombs [tHAT ACTUALLY WORKS!!] came from my amazing friend– who can literally search for, and successfully find, anything on the internet. You know who you are. Thanks, buddy. Sincerely, me, A)

Business Partners- Part 2

Prompt/Summary: Your business partner invites himself to your sister’s wedding

Pairing/Characters: Tony Stark x Reader, Natasha, Clint, Coulson, Sam, Steve, Bucky, Scott.  Everybody

Warnings: cursing, drinking, reader is going to be a bit of an idiot later on.   You should work on your communication skills.  ;)

Word Count: 1834

Author’s Note:  I am cutting this down to the wire. But this is my submission for @bionic-buckyb​ 5000 follower celebration!!!!  I claimed the fake dating AU.  As of posting this, the end isn’t finished.  So I plan on eating pizza at home and try to get it done by the deadline. 

Originally posted by theperkybuttofrdj

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anonymous asked:

Mimi, i noticed that the flowers in Jin's picture seem kinda fake. The petals in the corner on the back left of the bouquet shine in the light and if you look closely, you can notice threads coming out of the petals. Also some petals are curled up as if made of plastic. My mom has a lot of fake flowers, and unless they are shriveling up, real flower petals dont curl up in the same manner that the flowers in the pictures do. I cant say for sure their fake but i do think there is a case to be made

Yes dear, they are fake. Those flowers as mentioned HERE do not even exist they were just created by BigHit along with the flower shop, the fake accounts and stories. I am so done with them *sigh*

Originally posted by flippitt

anonymous asked:

hey I've been seeing your asks pop up and I just wanted to say you're wrong about your ship, but oh well. seems like you're comfortable shipping something fake compared to the actual real ship

i’ve officially made it. it’s my first ever hate ask. look at me, mom, i’m famous now. 

anyways. 

Originally posted by harunyany

Originally posted by yahjiminie

Originally posted by missbaptan

Originally posted by jiminiemini

(and how are u seeing my asks pop up when i block out all other ship names hmmm stalking the jikook tag are you)

Fake Chats #200
  • Taehyung: *stares at photos*
  • Jimin: *stares at photos, leaning on Tae*
  • Hoseok: *stares at photos*
  • Yoongi: *stares at photos, leaning on Hopi*
  • Seokjin: *stares at photos*
  • Namjoon: *stares at photos*
  • Jungkook: *stares at photos, leaning on Jimin and Tae*
  • ARMY: *stares at photos*
  • Taehyung: somebody say something.
  • Jimin: something.
  • Hoseok: every year we look more like a family.
  • Yoongi: aren't we?
  • Seokjin: look at my beautiful kids. So proud. You look more like your handsome mom every day.
  • Namjoon: Jungkookie has sure grown.
  • Jungkook: Jimin sure hasn't.
  • Jimin: but I look cute in that sweater, don't I?
  • Hoseok: very cute.
  • Seokjin: Joonie looks good.
  • Namjoon: Jinnie-hyung looks good.
  • Yoongi: I look good.
  • Taehyung: d'you think next year we'll look even better?
  • Jungkook: v of course. We just get better and better. We're BTS.
  • ARMY: damn straight. Legends.