my mom says it looks fake

Not so fast Morty,
You heard your mom
we got adventures to go on Morty🖐🏻
Just you and me
and sometimes your sister
and sometimes your mom
but NEVER your dad!
You wanna know why Morty?
Because he CROSSED me 👍🏼

Oh it gets Darker Morty,
Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures,
First thing that’s different
no more dad Morty
he threatened to turn me into the government, so I made him
and the government go away.

I repla*burp*ced them both as the patriarch of your family
and your universe 👉🏻
Your mom wouldn’t have accepted me
if I came home without you or your sister,
So now you know the Real reason why i rescued you
I Just Took Over The Family Morty!
& if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this, I’ll deny it!
& they’ll take my side because I’m a hero Morty!
Now you’re gonna have to do whatever i say Morty! Forever!!
(as if he didnt already)
(that close up of Rick looks sexy btw)
& I-I
*has a mini stroke with his words*
I’ll go out and find some of that, Mulan Szechuan* Teriyaki dipping sauce Morty!
BEcause That’s 🙌🏼
that’s what this is all about Morty!
That’s my one arm man?!
I’m not driven by avenging my dead family Morty!
That was FAKE!
(Morty tries to crawl away and Rick pulls that bitch closer to him)
(Morty looks genuinely terrified LOL)
I’m driven by finding that
McNugget Sauce!!
*Morty in the backround*
“Nugget?!!”
I want That Mulan McNugget Sauce!
Morty!
That’s my series arc Morty!
It takes 9 seasons!
(I’d watch that tbh)
I WANT MY MCNUGGETS! 👉🏻

—  Rick Sanchez
Rick and Morty S3 E1
April 1st, 2017
Fake Chats #180
  • Namjoon: it's mother's day soon.
  • Yoongi: it's what?
  • Namjoon: on my international calender it says mother's day is coming soon.
  • Yoongi: okay?
  • Namjoon: well.
  • Yoongi: don't look at me like that. Leave me out of this.
  • Namjoon: so, how about flowers?
  • Hoseok: what about flowers?
  • Namjoon: for mother's day.
  • Hoseok: I should send my mom flowers?
  • Namjoon:
  • Jungkook: what do you need?
  • Namjoon: a cake.
  • Jimin: a cake?
  • Taehyung: we're having cake? Can it be ice cream cake?
  • Namjoon: and flowers. And maybe some balloons.
  • Jimin: what do we need flowers and balloons for?
  • Namjoon: mother's day.
  • Jungkook: what now?
  • Taehyung: I don't know about sending ice cream cake in the mail.
  • Namjoon:
  • Maknae line:
  • Namjoon: never mind.
  • Seokjin: Joonie, did you leave this nice letter for me?
  • Namjoon: happy mother's day.
  • Seokjin: happy what now?
  • Namjoon: it's just a holiday that could be celebrated t celebrate people we appreciate so yeah, I wrote you a letter.
  • Seokjin:
  • Namjoon: do you like it?
  • Seokjin: you think of me as...your mom?
  • Namjoon: no! Just as like, the mom of the group.
  • Seokjin: you think of me as.. a mom?
  • Namjoon: uh...
  • Seokjin: or you just wanted an excuse to show me affection and appreciation.
  • Namjoon:
  • Seokjin:
  • Namjoon: yes.
  • Yoongi: how did Jin-hyung like your letter?
  • Namjoon:
  • Hoseok: what letter?
  • Yoongi: for mother's day.
  • Hoseok: Namjoon thinks of Jin-hyung as his mom?
  • Namjoon: no!
  • Yoongi: he just wanted an excuse to show him all his love.
  • Hoseok: ohhh. That makes sense.
  • Namjoon: sometimes I think I need a new family.
  • Seokjin: don't you dare leave me!
  • Namjoon: I wouldn't! Never!
  • Yoongi: you're more hopeless than Kookie.
The signs as shit my sister has said.

Aquarius: What if we called our eyebrows, eyeBROS?

Pisces: Who would think something covered in holes would be so warm.

Aries: (When people get mad at me for being confident in my singing.)
If you’ve been playing soccer for 12 years and you can’t kick the ball, that’s pretty sad.

Taurus: Instead of two women fighting each other to the death I want them to fight some else to the death… together.

Gemini: “I thought you said you buried the hatchet!”
“I dug it up, bitch.”

Cancer: [Can’t find the mozzarella sticks]
Panic! At the Freezer.

Capricorn: Me on a good day: (holding knife to your throat) YAINT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

Sagittarius: (Looking at unclicked pen) It’s off.

Scorpio: I say bedroom, hands say hospital

Libra: Okee dokee artichokemedaddy

Virgo: I told mom she could bring me something from Costco and I hope she took that as bring me poutine.

Leo: Me, a gay, somehow just became my friend’s fake girlfriend for two seconds a day.

anonymous asked:

Hi i recently watched some random videos of kai with other people like taemin , & other members of exo specially sehun & baekhyun ! I've seen kyungsoo with other members specially with chanyeol ! but about kyungsoo he is really different with kai in specific . But kai seems to have romantic moments with every members & that made me frustated ! Can you specify some moments or facts that can heal my heart ? like no kai only does that to kyungsoo ! can you please do that ?

hello there ❤️


First I wanna talk about Kyungsoo ..
Kyungsoo is really kinda of tough when he is in front of the camera, but they all said he is cute one like his co-workers and Kai who once said when some fans asked him to choose an animal for Kyungsoo he said two : sloth and koala ..
So if you notice they are all clingy ^_^ and this could tell a lot .. like Kyungsoo is clingy to him and he is huggable and etc ..
Kyungsoo was like that from 2012 until almost 2014 / so since 2015 Kyungsoo starts to get more tougher in general and he was wary and careful ..
maybe he had more pressures on that year or maybe he got effected from the blind gay rumor which start in 2015 …who knows!!!
But really they were so intimate in the airport and backstage too from what we saw by the fancams ..
again until 2015 ..

And about Chanyeol , he is so into skinship, like soooo much and I really don’t even try to analyze the members who like to do fan-service or a lot of skinship , Chanyeol is so close to Kyungsoo also Sehun , I love their friendship..
But again , don’t give any thought to the kpop stars who always do skinship as a fan-service or just they naturally love skinship cause if you do then they have like a hundred lovers LOL..

And let me talk about Kai ..
Just like I mentioned in the previous lines ..
Taemin is so into skinship , and sooo into fan-service too , just like Chanyeol and maybe worse , I love Shinee and I saw so many shows for them and concerts too ..
And believe me Kai is NO special thing ..
Taemin always do skinship and clingy things to all the members he is close to ..
Taemin is his close friend I mean come on ! they were practicing together since they were like 12 or 13 I think !!!
Kai said they were always in competition and when Taemin debuted first they were barely able to see each others but they start to be friends again when EXO debut so its like four years of them being not close !! even though they still see each other in the company..
I really think SM try her best to exaggerate their relationship..
Sure they are close friends I don’t deny that but What I meant is SM push them in the front line to let people ship them just as they pull Kaisoo back to the end of the line …
So again … Don’t follow the members who like to do fan-service and skinship you will misunderstand them ..

So dear friend you said ( romantic moments with every members ) ? I mean like what is your definition of romantic moments !!!
holding hand is romantic!! because even friends hold hand !! Hugging !! also friends do that !! laugh together !! Touch each others !! Almost all korean people do that ..
But .. here the magic comes babe ..
he doesn’t do this with Kyungsoo …and I mean barely not like zero ..
So he doesn’t hug him like he hug others !!!
its maybe just they hugged twice or maybe three in front of official cam , only in 5 years !!!!!
And they never go and touch each others hand or play with each others fingers or show each others stomach, they never pretend to kiss each others like the members do for fun in the concerts and etc ..
Why !!!
Because they supposed to ..
they should be careful in front of the crowd ..
why kaisoo is the only couple who have so many rumors even before debut !!
And why they are the only two on EXO who still roommates since 2011 until now !
And why when the gayrumor showed after two weeks SM immediately Announced KXK out of the blue !! And why Kai and Kyungsoo were teary and so sad and they couldn’t even look at each others after sm announces Kai’s dating news !!
Why he couldn’t even look at Kyungsoo’s eyes who was clearly ignoring him … its not something need any analyze , its crystal clear to anyone .. even my grandmother will notice them LoL ..
Well there is so many why/s I can put here ..
But let me say more about Kai ..
-only when Kyungsoo talk Kai turn and give his back to all the members and start to listen to what Kyungsoo say or should I say just to stare at him !!
-When Kai has any complaining he turns to tell Kyungsoo or Suho , so Suho is the leader and Kyungsoo is his wife lol ..
-at Kai’s sister wedding Kai went with only Suho the leader , Baekhyun which they say he is favorite member for the bride , and Kyungsoo !! The calm and quiet member was there !! Yeah because he is the boyfriend and he is member of the family ^_^
-Kai said many times he and Kyungsoo always watch movies together, so why they don’t invite the other members to their room , they never did..
-Kai is the only one who noticed Kyungsoo’s pain back there at 2013 in Hong Kong ..
And he is the only one was slowing his steps just to wait for Kyungsoo ..
-Kyungsoo is the only member who Kai always praises him like so proudly..
-Should I mention how he stares at him whether he is talking or not , even when other members talk he look at Kyungsoo’s face and admire it ..
-should I mention he call him Jagi !!! Like he did it in front of the cam not just a rumor !!!
-or when Suho was talking about EXO-M and the Chinese fan Kai whispered in Kyungsoo’s ear “ Wou Ai Ni ” which means in Chinese I love you .. and it was pretty clear if you read his lips which all the fans did already so hehehe..
-Kai always follows Kyungsoo and there is so many moments he was obviously jealous over him , they also always wear the same clothes not a couple clothes, its the same piece , I saw over 30 pictures of this .. and NO they don’t its only the two of them …
-There is so many fancams for them out of the main cameras , they touch each others , but why in front of the crowd out there they don’t!!
why when Kai feel sick or tried Kyungsoo is the first one he go to ! And when be need to change or fix anything he went to Kyungsoo only which remind me of my dad how he always go to mom to fix his tie or help him with his clothes..
-Finally , Kaisoo are so sincere you can notice this in their eyes when they look at each other..they don’t try to impress any fans , they don’t act , they don’t fake skinship to make fans scream , they don’t pretend, so real and sincere.. I’m so touched right now T-T

Girl .. My fingers hurt me and still there is so many things I want to say LoL sorry I already spell so many thoughts ..
But again , don’t judge any relationship by the skinship .. its a very wrong way specially in the Kpop …
Stay strong and I wish I swept some of your frustration , and if someone want to add extra it will be great …
Xoxo

What have you done? (1/?) (Justin Foley x Reader)

Summary: You’re the new kid in Liberty High, and everybody is freaking out about some tapes from a girl you never heard of. You start dating your neighbor, Justin, that goes to another school. Everything is going just fine until you finally find out what the hell happened to Hannah Baker.

Warnings: there is a spoiler from episode 9.

It’s not finished btw. It will probably have a part two :)

——————————————

It was still early when you heard a knock in your apartment’s door. You lived alone, so you had to answer yourself. Your hair was still wet from the shower and you had only a black bra and blue jeans on. You didn’t mind. It was a weird time for anyone but Justin, your boyfriend and neighbor, show up. Leaning your ear against the door, you asked who was it for precaution.

“It’s me, babe” Justin’s voice answered. You let him in, and the first thing he did was check you out with a smile on his face. “Okay, you’re teasing. Just admit it. You enjoy my pain”

“I’m not teasing. It’s your fault. If you had arrived just two minutes later, I would be fully dressed” you laughed softly, then turned your back to him, going back to your room. Before you could take a single step, Justin pulled you back by the waist.

“I like it better when you’re shirtless” he whispered, then put his hands on your neck, gently pressing his thumbs on your throat. You felt his lips against yours and what started as a sweet kiss suddenly turned into an intense make out session. Which turned into sex.

—————————-

“GOD DAMN IT” you yelled, scaring Justin so much he almost fell out of bed. “Shit, shit, shit” you mumbled as you picked up your clothes from the floor and graceless put them on.

“What’s the matter? Why are you yelling?” He covered his face with a pillow.

“Justin, the third period is almost over. I’ll have to hurry if I wanna make it to the fourth” you realized your shirt was inside out, so you had to take it off and put it back on properly.

“I don’t wanna make it to the fourth” he said with a grin.

“Your school doesn’t call your parents when you miss out too many classes. Liberty High does and this is, like, the fifth time this year I skipped school to fool around with you. They will call my mom and she will drag me back to Arizona!” you were totally freaking out, so much you couldn’t even remember where you left your backpack.

“I’m sorry, did you say ‘fool around’? Am I just an object to satisfy your sexual needs?” he pretended to be crying, which made you look at him and laugh. He pressed both hands on the left side of his chest, faking a heart attack.

“God Justin, you’re an idiot”

“Yeah” he said, and got up from the bed too quickly for you to run away. He picked you up by the tights and put you on the table.

“Not agaaaaain” you sighed before Justin could kiss you. “I have to go to school and satisfy my learning needs”

“Okay, okay” he was about to let you go, but that grin suddenly showed up again on his handsome little face. “Oh, wait. I think I can change your mind. I have something to tell you and you won’t be able to resist”

You rolled your eyes.

“You wish”

“Are you ready? Here it goes” he breathed in and out, but the grin disappeared just as fast as it came. Justin looked serious. He coughed a few times, ran his fingers through his hair, then looked away from you and stared at the floor. “Okay, no, you go. I can’t tell you like that”

“Tell me what?” You asked, but he simply put you back on the floor.

“Text me when you get to school and I’ll tell you by message. I can’t do it looking at you. It’s… well… I don’t… Jesus, I can’t even talk like a normal person. Just go away and I’ll let you know in a text” he just went on like a machine gun, so fast you barely understood. You didn’t had a chance to ask again. He picked up his clothes and left the apartment with only his underwear on. Luckily, his place was just next door.

———————————–

[You | 11:04 A.M.] I’m at school. tell me now and hurry bc the bell is about to ring
[You | 11:04 A.M.] come onnnnnnnn
[You | 11:04 A.M.] babe I’m waiting
[You | 11:04 A.M.] if it rings before I hear from you I swear to god justin foley
[You | 11:05 A.M.] i will MURDER you
[You | 11:05 A.M.] jussssstinnnnnnn
[You | 11:06 A.M.] you’re dead. seriously.
[You | 11:06 A.M.] damn justin. the bell rang. now I’ll have to wait till noon!

You put your phone on your bag angrily. You didn’t reacted well to curiosity, especially when it came from Justin. You cared too much about him and you needed to be in control all the time, otherwise it just felt like you might lose him. To hell with cared too much. You loved him. You started to think maybe he wanted to break up or maybe he cheated, and you were glad you hadn’t told him you loved him yet. Then you remembered whatever was it that he wanted you to know was supposed to make you want to spend more time with him, so your paranoia went away.

“Miss (Y/L/N), do you mind answering the question I just asked the class?” Mr. Hoechlin called you, and you felt your face burn.

“Well, of course, my beloved teacher. The answer is… uhhhh… no. Definitely no.” you said, jokingly, hoping it was the right answer even though it was absolutely clear you had no idea what the question was. You barely finished your sentence when the whole class burst into laughters.

“Very well, miss (Y/L/N). You’re truly a prodigious child. The future of our nation” the teacher said, which made people laugh even more.

You turned around to a familiar face, Clay’s, and saw a shy smile on his face. He wanted to laugh, but he was your friend so he tried really hard to conceal it.

“Okay, Argila” you called by the nickname you gave him, which was portuguese for clay/loam. He didn’t even frown this time. He was too busy laughing-without-laughing. “What was the question anyway?”

“He asked how much…” Clay started, but then he interrupted his sentence. He was looking at something right behind you. You were about to turn around and look for whatever caught his eye, but he talked again. “Huh… who’s Justin, Y/N?”

“My boyfriend slash neighbor. I told you about him” you answered and turned around. Your phone was lighting up with texts from Justin.

“You never told me his name… but, uh, he isn’t by any chance… Justin Foley… is he?” Clay sounded a little upset, but also something else. Almost like he was worried about me.

“You know him?” you asked, surprised.

“God damn it (Y/N). Out of every asshole in this freaking city, you had to be Justin Foley’s girlfriend?!” He was a little loud, but thankfully no one heard.

“What are you talking about?”

“Wait until this period is over” Clay was somewhere between crazy angry and crazy worried.

It felt like ten years passed by till that bell rang. You and Clay got out of the class faster than anyone else, and he pulled you into an empty room. He sighed loudly and heavily.

“Okay, shoot” you said, anxious. The whole thing got into your skin so badly that you even forgot to check Justin’s messages. You had a bad feeling about whatever was it that Clay wanted you to know. You didn’t want to hear it but you wanted it to be over asap. He didn’t spoke a single word. “Clay! Seriously! Tell me now!”

He looked into your eyes, and all the anger was gone. You realized he wasn’t just worried, he was sad. He knew he was about to shatter your heart into a million pieces. And so he did.

———————————–

You knocked in Justin’s door with so much strength that your hand started to hurt and bruise. You knew he was home. He was probably procrastinating on his couch like he did everyday after school. That fucking idiot. That fucking, fucking idiot.

“JUSTIN OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW” you yelled so loud your throat burned. You heard his hurried footsteps and the noise of the keys while he gracelessly unlocked the door to let you in.

You didn’t even look at him. You were so mad that your whole vision was red and blurry. He reached out for you quickly, tried to touch your arm and desperately checked out if you were hurt or something. You pushed him and, since he wasn’t expecting it, he did move a few inches back.

“(Y/N)…”

“You shut up and listen!” you weren’t screaming anymore, but your voice was filled with hate and anger. He shut the door with his foot and walked towards you, but you backed away.

“Babe I’m sorry that I told you by text, but I didn’t had the guts to tell you in person”

“I didn’t even read your text, that’s not what this is about”

He seemed a little hurt.

“You didn’t read it” you couldn’t tell if it was a question or an affirmation. You didn’t care either.

“I was too busy finding out you spread out lies that lead a girl to kill herself and, oh, also you let a guy RAPE your last girlfriend!” your throat ached. Justin looked like he was punched in the stomach repeatedly. His eyes filled with tears immediately. “Oh stop crying, it’s too late for that”

He didn’t move or say anything. He just stood there and cried, not much at first, but then his silent tears turned into sobbing and it looked like he was hardly breathing. Still, he didn’t move a finger. Neither did you.

It just went on and on. He wouldn’t stop. It was so horrible, the whole thing, that you started crying too. The second he noticed, he forced himself to stop crying and ran to you.

“No, no, baby please don’t cry” Justin said with a broken voice. He tried to wipe your tears but you didn’t let him.

“Why, Justin? Why would you do that?” you asked, so low he barely heard. He breathed heavily.

“Bryce… he gave me everything. He was all I had. Since we were kids he and his family, they knew… they knew things about me” he looked away.

“This is not the time for secrets” you spoke more fiercely now.

“I’m sorry. I mean- Bryce and his family knew about the things that happened in my house. My mom took a lot of guys home and they were all just… animals, you know? They would choke me, beat me, kick me, punch me, and my mom would just stand there and watch. They didn’t give me food and didn’t give me money to buy it myself. They let me starve for days. Sometimes there wasn’t even water, just their vodka and their whiskey. It was hell, (Y/N). All the food I had, Bryce was the one who gave me. All my clothes. All the pain killers. It was all him, always. He was a brother to me. I let him share Hannah’s picture, but I hated myself for it. Unfortunately I wasn’t man enough to stop him or even apologize to Hannah. And I let him inside the room with Jessica, yes, but I didn’t want to. I tried to tell him she was my girlfriend and I didn’t want him to touch her. He didn’t listen. When I tried to stop him he pushed me out and locked the door. I could have done more, I know that. I could have screamed and called the cops, but I couldn’t do it to either of them. Jessica would be exposed, Bryce would go to jail. I loved them, both of them. I just couldn’t”

You listened to every word in complete silence, your eyes widened. You didn’t know about any of the things he said about his house situation. He never told you. Also, he never even mentioned Bryce or Jessica. You didn’t even know he used to go to Liberty High until Clay told you.

“I don’t know you at all” you whispered. “I have to leave. I need some time to think… to figure it all out, I mean”

Justin nodded, looking heartbroken. You quietly made your way to the door and left, stopping only to give him a sad glance before closing the door behind you. You entered your apartment, ripped off your shoes aggressively and lied down on the carpet. You felt your phone buzz inside your jeans’ pocket and slowly reached out for it. You saw lots of notifications, the most recent coming from Clay.

[Argila | 3:32 P.M.] Hey
[Argila | 3:45 P.M.] I’m worried about you
[Argila | 3:57 P.M.] Did you talk to Justin?
[Argila | 4:01 P.M.] (Y/N) please answer me
[Argila | 4:01 P.M.] if I don’t hear from you until 4:15 I’ll send the police to your building

You checked the time. 4:13 p.m., still on time.

[You | 4:13 P.M.] chill

You checked your other notifications and saw the texts Justin sent you while you were at class. You knew you would regret it, but you opened his chat.

[Justin | 11:27 A.M.] Okay here it goes
[Justin | 11:27 A.M.] I’m sorry I only said it once in my life and even then it ended up badly
[Justin | 11:27 A.M.] I’m afraid and I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you like a normal guy would… looking at your beautiful face and holding your hands
[Justin | 11:28 A.M.] but I can’t so you’ll have to settle for this
[Justin | 11:28 A.M.] I love you
[Justin | 11:28 A.M.] So much it aches
[Justin | 11:29 A.M.] You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t ever wanna lose you

Falling In Reverse - One

Spencer x Reader

Y/N was not ready for this. At all.

Flying, she hated it. But it was a necessary evil if she wanted to visit her family. Which she did but she also didn’t. Y/N going home for her sister’s wedding. Her younger sister’s wedding. And she was going alone, armed with a barrage of replies to the ‘why are you single?’ questions she knew she’d get from her relatives. None of her answers would satisfy them though. But she’d cope. There was a free bar, that was going to get her through it.

Glancing around the plane briefly Y/N saw that it seemed full of tourists, people visiting Vegas for the first time. There was that sense of buzz and and excitement in the air. The buzz and excitement that she no longer felt. Having lived there for eighteen years it quickly wore off, as did the constant, “Oh you’re from Vegas? Can you count cards?” No, she couldn’t. But she was a pretty decent poker player so she did at least fit that one stereotype. Y/N had moved away for college when she was eighteen and now ran a small bookshop in Virginia. It wasn’t what she’d expected to be doing at 26 years old but she loved it all the same. There was just something about books, the smell of them, the feel of them in her hands knowing that the pages contained an entirely different universe sometimes, one that she could immerse herself in. Y/N had started working there at college and when the previous manager had left, Sally the elderly owner had offered her the job. As she wasn’t particularly doing very well in her chosen studies, she’d taken it.

Slipping her book between her leg and the side of the seat, Y/N clutched her bottled water and cursed herself for not buying any hard candy to suck on. She hated flying, taking off and landing was the worst, and sometimes she suffered from an intense pressure build up in her ears which gave Y/N a headache for days. At the moment though it looked like she was going to be lucky enough to have an entire row of three seats to herself, it was approaching takeoff time and so far no one else had claimed the other seats.

“Excuse me, excuse me.. ” a tall man with brown hair that looked like it hadn’t seen a hairbrush let alone touched one in years was trying to skirt around the air hostess that was helping the family in the row behind. Managing to slip by, he took out a few items and then stashed his satchel in the overhead locker before flopping down into the seat at the end of the row.

Guess you weren’t going to have the row to yourself after all, Y/N thought to herself

She tried not to look at him as he fidgeted, trying to fold his long legs into a comfortable seating position for the flight. Finally getting settled, he gave Y/N a quick look and then pulled out his book, burying his head into it.

The crew got ready for take off, neither Y/N or the man sat by her paying any attention to the safety instructions the air hostesses went through. Y/N was a seasoned flyer as much as she disliked it and she assumed he was too. As the plane sped down the run way Y/N closed her eyes and breathed deeply, her hands clutching the arm rests as the palne took off.

As the plane gained altitude Y/N started to feel that familar pressure building in her ears. She began to swallow, wishing she had some candy to suck on, it always helped in the past. Her ears popped once and then almost immediately the pressure began to rebuild.

“Do you want something to suck on?”

A voice came from her right and Y/N’s eyes flew open. It was the man sat next to her looking at her with concern. Y/N swallowed hard, her ear giving a little squeak.

“Pardon?”

“Would you like something to suck on?” he asked again, clearly not realising how his offer sounded. Y/N stifled a laugh, wincing slightly as her ear went again.

“I think they frown upon that here,” she told him seeing his brow furrow.

Y/N could almost see the penny dropping in his mind and his cheeks blushed a furious red as he fumbled in his pocket pulling out a packet of hard candy.

“Sweets, I meant sweets!”

He was cute, a little squeak to his voice.

“Are you sure? Cos it sounded like you were propositioning me…..”

He fidgeted again looking extremely uncomfortable and Y/N grinned, the interaction with this cute stranger distracting her from her own discomfort.

“Look, do you want one or not?” he thrust the packet towards her and Y/N took one, popping it into her mouth and tasting the sweet but tangy taste of lemon sherberts, her favourite.

“Thank you. I appreciate it…. And I’m sorry for making fun.”

“It’s okay. I do realise how it sounded,” he sounded more relaxed suddenly and Y/N turned to study him.

He was definitely attractive, even despite the messy hair. Strong jawline, hazel eyes and plump pink lips. He was dressed in courdroys and a pale blue button down shirt with a navy cardigan thrown over the top. One leg was tucked under the other and he had converse on his large feet. His hands rested on his lap, twiddling with the ends of his cardigan and she could see a watch worn over the sleeve of his jacket rather than under. Y/N wondered how old he was, she couldn’t quite tell.

“I wonder if that line would ever work on anyone?” she pondered out loud.

“Probably not. Now I think about it, said to the wrong person and it would probably earn someone a slap round the face.”

Y/N laughed and she could see the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

“Good job I’m not the wrong person then.” Hearing a ping she looked up and saw that the seat belt sign had flashed off. Phew, that meant the worst of it was over and Y/N just had to endure the rest of the flight praying there wasn’t any turbulence.

The man beside her unbuckled his belt immediately, readjusting his position slightly. Glancing down he saw Y/N still had hers fastened.

“Erm… You can take your belt off you know. The seat belt sign is off.”

She raised your eyebrow at him. “Wow. First you offer me something to suck on, now you’re trying to convince me to take my belt off.”

The man turned red again.“ I… I….. I…” he stuttered. Y/N burst out laughing.

“It’s not nice that you’re making fun of me you know. I’m just trying to be helpful,” he looked like a puppy that had just been kicked and she suddenly felt bad.

“Shit… I’m sorry. I just… It’s just… I didn’t mean to upset you….”

When he smirked, a glorious smile crossing his face reaching up into his eyes, she knew that he’d been messing with her. He spoke again.

“Truce? No more innuendos? At least I’ll try… ”

“Haha. Okay, truce. You don’t proposition me again and I won’t tease you about it. I do have to thank you though. You’ve distracted me so far. I hate flying and you’ve made taking off much more enjoyable than it usually is.”

“Well… I’m, erm.. I’m glad I could help. I think… ” he tucked a loose lock of hair back behind his ear and then coughed slightly before continuing, “I’m Spencer.”

Attractive name for an attractive man.

“I’m….” Y/N glanced upwards quickly. “I’m Charley.”

Spencer narrowed his eyes and then the corners of his mouth twitched upwards again.

“You’re not, but that’s okay. I’m a stranger and you don’t want to give me your actual name, I get it.. That’s very smart.”

“How… How did you know?”

“I work for the FBI. I’m a profiler so I’m trained to read body language amongst other things. You looked up before speaking, first sign someone is lying.”

FBI? Wow.

“Oh… Okay. I’m sorry, it’s just I don’t know you and the last movie I watched where someone befriended her fellow plane passenger, well. He tried to kill her.”

“Red Eye, right?”

Y/N nodded and he continued, “I’m no Jackson Rippner trust me. Those are the type of guys I catch. But like I say, I understand.”

“So Spencer, are you heading to Vegas on business then? Is there a bad guy I should be aware of?” She kinda wanted to keep talking to this guy despite not wanting to tell him her real name. Not yet anyway.

“Not business. I’m from Vegas actually, I’m visiting my mom. What about you, Charley.. ”

Y/N smiled at his use of her fake name.

“I’m from Vegas too. But I live in Virginia now. I’m going home for my sister’s wedding, something I’m not looking forward to at all.”

“Can I ask why not, or is that too personal?”

Over the next four hours Y/N and Spencer talked about her family and her upbringing. He told Y/N about his job and then about his Mom, looking suprised with himself and then revealing that he rarely talked about her. When the plane started it’s descent he distracted her again, talking about his favourite books. When Y/N eventually disembarked they walked together to the luggage terminal and Y/N and Spencer both hesitated, knowing they had to go their separate ways.

Digging in her bag, Y/N pulled out her cell phone.

“So I guess it’s my time to proposition you. Could I maybe get your number? Maybe we could hang out here, or when we get back to Virginia?”

Spencer blushed again but recited a series of digits which she saved in her phone. She quickly called him, seeing him pulling out his phone with her own number flashing up on the screen.

“There, now you have my number too,” she told him.

“So I do. But what do I save it under? Charley or…?” he asked and she smiled softly.

“Y/N. Save it under Y/N.”

zero0000  asked:

Here's a dumb idea: Mighty Ranger Danger opens for Pop Superstar Tommy Oliver

A typical backstage encounter while Ranger Danger is touring with Tommy Is A Girl’s Name:

“Found it!” Zack announces triumphantly, holding up his phone. “Our Article Title of The Week. I know it’s only Wednesday, but I’m calling it now.” 

This has become a Thing that Zack does.

Turns out, the boy has a gift for finding the absolute worst tweets/posts/articles that reference one or more of them (either in Ranger Danger or Power Ranger form), to the delight of pretty much no one but Zack himself. It’s caused some real trauma; none of the Rangers are sure they’ve recovered from a particularly disturbing tweet involving Jason’s abs and an ice cream sundae. (Jason had hit the ‘block’ button with enough force to break the computer mouse.) 

And yet Zack persists. He even clears his throat. 

“Popstar Lesbian Love Triangle? Tommy Oliver Spotted Cozying Up with Ranger Danger Ladies!”

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The CRONCH: a Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction

(Quick note before we start:
@dearevanhansenheadcanons hey! I was the anon who submitted that headcanon [i had to use anon cause my main blog, the one I’m using to submit rn is actually for study stuff. This fic is also on my secondary blog @justamusicalobsessedkid] about Jared inventing a new edible bath bomb at Lush and I actually wrote an entire story on it!! Thus, The CRONCH ~ a Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction was created. Anyway, hope you give this a quick look. Thanks!!!)

The CRONCH

Jared Kleinman was a strange boy.
Strange, yes, but no one could deny the fact that he was intelligent in a way, particularly in anything technology related.
In his own words: “I’ve got skills, son.”
However, Jared wasn’t limited to his skills in the digital world. No one ever expected the young man to have a talent for innovation, as well.
Evan Hansen stood in the midst of shelves filled with bath bombs at Lush, waiting for his friend to finally finish his shift for the day.
“What time do you even end? Mom said for me to be with you by six-thirty. ”
“I get out of this perfume-scented hell hole at six. Why does your mom even want you to hang out with me?” Came the reply from Jared, restocking a shelf full of green and blue bath bombs.
Evan shrugged. “Because you’re my friend, aren’t you? I mean, you did tell me after we made up when the whole Connor thing was over that I wasn’t just a family-friend anymore. Also my mom’s taking the night shift again and she doesn’t want me to be lonely so I gotta stay the night over at your place, now.”
“Fine then.” Jared said, just as he finished placing all the small spherical bath bombs unto the shelf, leaving one to slip into his jacket pocket.
Evan’s eyes widened.
“You steal bath bombs?” He screeched.
Jared hurriedly made a ‘shush’ sign at the other boy and turned his head towards the room behind the main shop, checking to see if his boss was anywhere around.
He breathed a sigh of relief upon not seeing George, his boss, anywhere in earshot. He was far out the back of the shop, taking a phone call. Jared glared at Evan, fixing his glasses momentarily.
“Shut up, will you? If Cranky Old George finds out, I’m out the door.” He hissed.
“I save them for myself and sometimes even my mom likes them. Besides,” the sarcastic boy added half jokingly, “they almost look good enough to eat.”
Evan stammered, staring at the his sneakers. “S-sorry. But I-I-I mean, why don’t you just buy them?”
“Says the guy who only paid me twenty bucks to make fake emails.” Jared shot back.
“Point taken.”
The clock struck five-fifty.
Jared brushed the bath bomb dust off on his jeans.
“Stay there, I’ll just go out back and see if I still have something to do. If I don’t, the old one’ll let me go early.”
Evan nodded, turning to examine the Lush products that filled the entire shop.

Within minutes, he heard loud, angry talking coming from the back room. He gulped nervously, even considering just getting out of the shop and going to the Kleinman residence on his own, just when Jared came right out of the back room.
He had a slightly worried expression on his face as he took off the uniform all Lush employees wore, leaving it in a messy heap on the counter.
“So,” he said. “good news is I’m getting let off early today. Bad news—a customer called, complaining to Cranky Old George about me.”
Evan’s eyes widened. “What did they say?”
Jared snorted, speaking in a high-pitched voice that Evan knew he used when imitating elderly women while making flamboyant gestures. “'Hello, you know that laddie who works in your shop? The one who’s name tag says his name is Jared Kleinman? Well, you see, son, when I asked that young man for one of those water bombs of yours with hearts in them the lad laughed at me and asked if I was going to use it in the hot tub along with my hubby, as he—oh, what did that boy say, again? Ah, yes—sticks his di–'”
"Okay let’s stop there Jared.” Evan said, his face flushing bright pink.
“First of all,” he said, in horror. “you made ‘those’ jokes to a customer?”
Jared rolled his eyes. “Yes, brilliant observation from my small reenactment, Hansen. Do I really still need to repeat everything in that old lady voice to confirm for you? And don’t call them ‘those’ jokes, they’re my jokes and frankly, I’m quite proud of them.”
Evan sighed. It was very typical for Jared to be this way, but it did tend to get inconvenient from time to time.
“So what did your boss say?”
Jared scrunched his eyebrows, obviously thinking about what George had told—or more accurately, yelled at—him.
“Something about me having to do extra work or else he’ll fire me by next week. I gotta think of a new idea for a bath bomb in three days or something like that.”
“You what?” Evan rambled, his eyes as wide as plates. “That’s incredibly pressuring Jared, you know you could come up with a bad idea or not even come up with anything at all and then you’ll lose your job.”
“I know,” The other boy mumbled. “And this job is giving me my car insurance money. Can’t lose that now.”
The two reached the Kleinman household, with Evan in a state of mid-panic and Jared in worry for the future of his car insurance.
Mrs. Kleinman smiled at Evan the moment he stepped into the door with Jared. “Hi Evan, dear. Your mom called, said you’re supposed to stay here for the night.”
Evan nodded just as he and Jared began ascending up the stairs that led to the house’s second floor.
The worried boy dropped his bag on Jared’s bed, pacing around the room nervously. “What are you gonna do? You have, like, three days to just suddenly come up with some brilliant idea or you’ll get the boot.”
“Calm yourself, Hansen. I’ll think of something sooner or later.” Jared replied.

However, it wasn’t until during dinner when Jared finally got a good idea, which—strangely—came to him mid-sip of a glass of Kool-Aid.
His eyes widened as he jumped up from his seat so quickly he nearly knocked his glasses off his face.
Evan looked at him in concern. “Jared, what are you—?”
“Mom, do we still have Kool Aid?”
Mrs. Kleinman looked confused. “Yes, why?”
She received no answer from Jared, instead the boy rushed into the kitchen, grabbing an unused bowl from the side of the table.
Mrs. Kleinman looked at Evan, who looked as equally perplexed.
“Excuse him,” she chuckled, tilting her head to try and catch a glance at what her son was up to in the kitchen. “Jared really is rather… Odd.”
Evan managed a small smile. “I know.”
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Jared was acting completely on impulse. He pushed the thick-framed square glasses that framed his eyes up his face, flinging open the doors to the Kleinmans’ small pantry. His eyes scanned the shelves packed with bags and boxes, reaching out every once in a while to rapidly grab an item from inside. Once he decided he had everything, he set to work.
Eventually, Evan popped his head into the kitchen, checking on Jared.
“Your mom’s wondering what you’re up to.” He said, watching Jared press a sand-like mixture into spherical molds.
Jared shook his head in reply, tossing his head to the side for a moment in an attempt to brush away the few strands of hair that fell on his face without using his hands, still busy packing his creation.
When he had finished, he tossed the bowl and the spoon he used into the sink and flashed a mischievous grin up at Evan, who had been watching his friend the entire time.
“What did you just—?”
Jared chuckled excitedly. “Patience, Hansen. You’ll see.”

The next day, Jared Kleinman stood in the back room of Lush, facing his boss a little too confidently.
He brought a paper bag with him, filled with the little things he had spent around an hour making and a water jug.
Jared stuck one hand into the bag, gripping around for one of the spherical bath bombs he had made.
He beamed at George, who had began scrutinizing the young boy the minute he stepped into the shop on that day.
“May I present to you, Sir, my creation—a revolutionary breakthrough that will surely make our sales skyrocket.” He said enthusiastically, holding the bath bomb in front of George.
The older man laughed, almost in pity. “A bath bomb? Mr. Kleinman, Lush has plenty of those. I simply don’t see how this’ll be able to be 'a revolutionary breakthrough.’”
Jared laughed cockily, to George’s annoyance.
“Sir, you don’t see how my bath bomb can can be insanely cool,” He paused, chuckling, before adding “much like me.” under his breath.
Jared raised the red bath bomb to his mouth, grinning at George.
“You have to taste it.” He said, before taking a huge bite out of the bath bomb.
If Jared hadn’t caught George’s attention earlier, he certainly had now.
“Edible.” He chuckled, offering a new bath bomb to George. “They’re edible.”
George sniffed the bath bomb tentatively, before taking a small bite out of it.
It tasted wonderful, not to mention the sound it made when bitten into it was loud, noisy… Just like biting into a wafer bar but much louder. Just like crunching on trail mix, but instead of just a soft crunch, the sound was more of a loud cronch.
George was amazed. He had never seen or tasted anything like such in his life. “What—what is it made of?”
Jared smirked, seeing the amazement on his boss’ face.
“Baking soda, corn starch, powdered sugar, and critic acid for the base.” He said, taking another bite of his bath bomb. “I added Kool Aid in different flavors to give it that color and the way it tastes. Finished with rock fizz candy and edible glitter, too.”
Jared placed the water jug on the desk and uncapped it.
“Oh, and did I mention—” he said, dropping another bath bomb into the water, watching as it slowly dissolved just like a normal bath bomb would.
“You can also make a drink out of them” Jared concluded, taking a sip out of the now purple colored drink.
George shook his head in bewilderment.
“Mr. Kleinman,” he started, in pure disbelief. “This is… Amazing. You have made such a wonderful contribution to our store. I will pitch your edible bath bombs as an idea—with all credits to you, of course—and hopefully in a month or two we’ll see your bath bombs soon lining one of our shelves.”
He smiled up at his employee, reaching out to shake Jared’s hand. “I really cannot believe you created this… Figured everything out all by yourself.”
“Well,” Jared allowed himself to admit. “I still haven’t decided on what to name it. I was thinking to just sell the pink ones and name them Kinky Pinks but I felt am unavoidable shame for the other flavors that customers might also want to try.”
Luckily for him, though, George had it all figured out.
“Not a problem, Mr. Kleinman. I have a name that might just be fitting for your product…”

A month and a half passed. Lush was booming with new customers.
On a display in the middle of the store, bath bombs in every color stood out from the rest, accompanied with a sign that read:
”NEW!! the CRONCH: an edible bath bomb experience, brought to you by Lush, concept developed by our very own employee— Jared Kleinman"
To this day, Jared works at Lush, dashing around the store to attend to customers. A certain proud habit of his that developed over the days was that while assisting people, Jared would make his way over to the Cronch’s shelf and grab a bath bomb from it, taking a huge bite of it in front of the customers, who would look at him with expressions of disbelief and amazement.
This certain effective 'marketing strategy’ (as George called it) did cause Jared to be the victim of many jokes and pranks, though. A notable prank his coworkers pulled on him was done during April Fools, when they decided to switch up bath bomb displays without informing Jared—placing his edible bath bombs on a different shelf and actual bath bombs on the one his product used to rest on.
Sure enough, Jared didn’t notice the switch and just as he was entertaining a customer, he took a huge bite out of a real bath bomb as his coworkers—looking on earnestly from the counter—all burst out laughing.
He couldn’t deny the fact that he may have enjoyed the actual bath bomb, however. Even though he wouldn’t quite admit it to many.

On a particularly busy day at Lush, Evan dropped by to check on his friend again.
He smiled at Jared, who shot him a quick smirk as he took a bite out of another edible bath bomb.
“Loving the cronch, Jared?” He asked jokingly.
Jared grinned mischievously, winking. “You gotta love that cronch.”

(Small note: the recipe for the edible bath bombs [tHAT ACTUALLY WORKS!!] came from my amazing friend– who can literally search for, and successfully find, anything on the internet. You know who you are. Thanks, buddy. Sincerely, me, A)

I saw exo by myself after their concert and freaked

Okay so after exo concert on February last year. They let the fans out of prudential center first. Most fans had left but there were a handful that stayed. So tell me how the security tried to give us the slip (me and my friend) saying that they were going out through the closed gate which was on the other side of the building. So, we went over there because the van was actually facing that way. We saw them come out and they waved before getting in.

Then, to my utter and complete horror, the van proceeded to reverse and then go out through the other gate. My ass was like hell no. So I bolted like the Usain Bolt down the block to see if I could meet them at the corner. (Mind you I have asthma and it was raining and them blocks are long as shit) so then, I stopped at the end of the block because the van was at the stop light. And I was the only person at the corner. I ain’t know what to do. I just waved like a goofball and cheese really hard. Chanyeol waved back, Kai was staring and sehun too. My ass almost fainted.

But this ain’t the end of it yall. So my friend had to leave and I had to go back home so I had to take the NJ transit train back and I was also lost a couple times. But I made it to 32nd street. My train is at the corner of 32nd, right in front of this hotel. So, I walked up to it and stood in front of the train sign, pulled out my phone and proceeded to call my mom, however my phone died mid call.

So, a van pulls up directly in front of me but I ain’t think too much on it. Until I was hearing korean. I looked up so fast and almost shit myself. The boys came off the bus and we’re standing right in front of the entrance. I can see chanyeol, Kai and sehun watching me. I actually thought they would recognize me and I swore they did but I pretended to not know who they were and faked an entire phone call with my mom as they stood there talking for what felt like forever. Before they walked in. Now, I broke down crying the moment they stepped foot inside the hotel. The manager saw me, looked at me like he wanted to say something but didn’t and followed them. I can honestly say I went home crying heavy! 

Teardrops On My Guitar

My Master List

A/n: So I’ve been on an angst kick. Sorry, Darlings :(

Warnings: Angst

Reader is in love with Dean

Feel free to let me know what you guys think!

Dean looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won’t see.
That I want, and I’m needing everything that we should be
I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she’s got everything that I have to live without

   “You should have told him” my friend whispered in my ear as we sat across from Sam and Dean at the local bar. Dean was filling us all in on his new girlfriend, and I could barely stand to sit here and listen. That should’ve been me that he was talking about. It should’ve been us, and it’s because I never had the balls to tell him how I really feel.

Keep reading

Theft and coupon fraud, I will slay you with fake kindness and throw away your coupons.

This happened a couple weeks ago. I work in a large store in the toys and electronics department. I was set to close in that department, but the store was extra busy due to some early holiday sales. I got called up to backup the registers as a spare cashier, just to shorten the lines and check out 3 or 4 folks.

I hop on a register and call over the next person waiting in line at another overflowing register. But before that person can move over, another woman pushes past her, pretending not to have seen or heard what was going on. I’m going to refer to her as Bad Mom. She’s pulling two overflowing baskets, has a baby covered in vomit in one arm and a toddler running behind, trying to keep up.

I overlook Bad Mom cutting in line, knowing she would only slow down another register anyway, and none of the other customers complained or looked annoyed. This poor mom definitely had her hands full, or at least that’s the image she was going for.

I greet Bad Mom, do my friendly bit as I start scanning her items. She is flustered and rushed, but is overly friendly. She starts strategically placing the toys on the counter to check out in a specific order.

“Oh! The friendliest employee was helping me out in toys earlier. She said to double check all of the prices for these toys, because they’re not ringing up for the correct amount,” explains Bad Mom.

Alright, sometimes old signs are left up, and we have to honor them. I’m trying to move quickly, so I listen to her as I ring up the items. I would have ignored one red flag, and corrected one item no problem. The store was incredibly busy, and sometimes it’s easier to chop off $3 off their bill and look into it later.

But this wasn’t the case. Bad Mom had corrections on almost every toy, $10-$20 off each item with the rare “Oh that one is correct” to balance her story out. So I start asking innocent questions in a very friendly fashion to lure out more details.

“Oh wow, these prices seem really off!” I say in a surprised, apologetic voice.

“Yes, I know! The girl working back in toys was so very helpful.”

“I’m so glad to hear that! Do you remember who it was? It helps them a lot to get good compliments from customers.”

Bad Mom happily weaves a lovely detailed story for me about a non-existent employee. One, I was the only person working in that department. Two, I was the only female employee anywhere near that section of the store that night. Three, Bad Mom describe this girl as being blonde. There was literally no blonde females working in the store that day, and absolutely no blonde female employees in that department or the surrounding departments.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a manager walking past. I flag her down in front of Bad Mom.

I keep my voice very sweet and happy. I speak clearly and loudly so the customer can hear. “Hey, [managers name]! This guest had an awesome compliment about a blonde employee working toys tonight, but we can’t figure out who it is. I’m the only one working in toys tonight, correct?”

I see Bad Mom get a little nervous hearing that I work in toys.

The manager is very obviously confused, “Uh, yes, you’re the only one in toys…” She speaks politely, but I can see her looking over the customer and her overflowing carts. “Is something wrong?”

I sweetly explain that I’m having to do some price adjustments and just wanted to double check with her and whoever else was working in toys. As I say this, an idea pops into my head.

“Oh! Was it [employee]?” I point over to another employee, who’s head is barely visible through the crowd. You can just barely see the top of her head, which has two bleached streaks of hair. I secretly hope Bad Mom takes the bait.

“That could be… Yes, I think that was her!” Bad Mom exclaims, her voice overflowing with happiness and relief at being given an out.

Little did she know, I had pointed to a woman who works in Asset Protection (AP). The manager picks up on it right away and says, “Oh perfect, I’ll send her over. Take care of the other cart until then.”

I become increasingly apologetic about the hassle, saying that I really didn’t mean to make a big deal about it and promising to hurry with her groceries in the mean time. Bad Mom keeps her act going, her voice dripping with fake friendliness, meeting each of my apologies with her own for being so much trouble.

As I start scanning her groceries, she pulls out more than 30 pages of printed coupons and scatters them across my entire check lane. She turns up her flustered act, waving her children around for pity. Her baby boy, his face and entire front half of his body covered in dry vomit, looks exhausted. At this point Bad Mom is literally slinging him around in her arms, jostling him, keeping him from sleeping. Her toddler is laying on the floor crying quietly and unable to articulate completely that she is hungry. Bad Mom keeps apologizing to her toddler without even so much as glancing at her, promising to get her home soon.

Bad Mom keeps going with her story, saying she had been in our store shopping for over four hours (which I later learned was very false thanks to the cameras). I offered having her carts ready for her if she wanted to get some food for her kids or take them to the restroom. She declined, saying it wasn’t a big deal.

By this point, Asset Protection has arrived. I prompt Bad Mom to explain the details to AP, who is very friendly in return and offers to have all of the prices checked for her, but warns it will take time. Bad Mom disengages as much as possible. She can tell her story is now very obviously false to us, and says she would love to come back later tonight to purchase the toys. Bad Mom diffuses as much as possible, clearly hoping AP will go away.

AP stays nearby, of course.

Bad Mom starts passive aggressively rushing me. She dials up the friendly act even further, responding to anything her toddler says with, “I’m sorry, honey, this is the last time mommy will use so many coupons. I promise we’ll go home soon.” Bad Mom intentionally brings up her children to me as much as possible, trying to invoke more pity and hoping I will mess up the coupons. She starts actively trying to trick me into scanning extra coupons or scanning them twice. She tries to separate out her orders to use conflicting offers.

Sadly, I’m not new to this game. I don’t fall into the rushed emotional state she’s trying to put me in. I scan each item and coupon correctly, and gently explain each time I can’t accept a coupon. I work quickly for the sake of her children, but Bad Mom is wasting time mixing up the coupons intentionally, literally shuffling them when she thinks I’m not paying attention.

My visual memory is very good; I know when I’ve scanned a coupon. Bad Mom can’t trick me, and even when she thinks she does, I intentionally scan a coupon double to show her the error that pops up on the register. After 10 minutes of coupon scanning and item counting, I begin to lose my patience. So I turn it into a game for myself. How many pages of her precious coupons can I throw away?

See normally, we are supposed to throw away coupons when we scan them, but because she had them all printed out together on pages (6 or so per page), she wouldn’t let me take them. I began exclaiming things like, “Awesome! I got all the ones on this page,” and “Perfect, you’ve claimed all of these already” and throwing away full pages of coupons. After throwing away 5 or 6 pages, which was sadly only a small dent in her stack, she began clutching each page to her quickly after I exclaimed that I was done with a page.

So I lean back comfortably, take a short step away from the counter each time I pick up a new page to scan. I keep up my friendly chatter and toss each page after I’ve redeemed the coupons on it. I keep saying little victory phrases after each page, as if I was on her side. I do return a few pages to her to keep the illusion going, but only if more than half of the coupons on the page weren’t redeemed or duplicates.

Bad Mom must have admitted defeat after that. She dropped the butt-kissing attitude and didn’t shuffle the coupons after that. She even sifted through the cart of toys and paid full price for two of them with the excuse of: “I remember the price of these were correct, so I’ll pick them up now.”

I apologized for the inconvenience (of not letting her get away with lying or coupon fraud) and gave her oldest child a sticker for being so patient. The poor girl had given up on crying and had spent the last half hour sitting on the floor fidgeting with some M&Ms that Bad Mom bought for her quite angrily.

After Bad Mom left, I checked in with AP. Turns out she had been watching her since she first walked into the store since she was a known shop lifter. She hadn’t been in the store long, grabbed toys quickly off the shelf without even looking at prices, and of course, there was no mysterious blonde employee. Bad Mom was very lucky that she didn’t try to steal anything that day. This just gets added to her file, and she’ll be watched even more closely at the registers now.

tl;dr A mother tries to get $200+ worth of toys for under $50, feeds me lies to do so and neglects her tired, hungry kids in the process. She then wastes my time and delays her kids from eating even more by trying to commit coupon fraud. I unnecessarily toss most of her coupons and add to her record with AP.

I’m long-winded, sorry. D:

Family Strife

I’m worried about my mom, she hasn’t been herself lately. Usually she’s such a sweet and happy woman, eager to help and please. She worships my father and he in turn dotes on her. I’ve always aspired to have a relationship like that. One of absolute love and reverence. Dad always says any man or woman would be lucky to have me and that they’d undoubtedly treat me like the goddess I was.

Like I said, that was the way my mom usually was. Recently things have been off. She hasn’t been smiling as much as she used to, and when she does smile it doesn’t light up the room as it should. It’s thin, wavering… all her smiles look so forced and fake now. I’ve asked my dad about it, but all he’s said so far is that he’ll talk to her. I hope it’s nothing too bad. We’ve had enough trouble in our lives.

Keep reading

What boyfriend?

My Valentines Day exchange present for @bethechange1011
I’m sorry I am a horrible person I took so long to post this! This is the first part of this fic and I’ll be posting part 2 in the coming days!!!


“Annabeth, when’s that new boyfriend of yours going to show up?” Mrs. Chase questioned after swallowing her respectable portion of spaghetti.
Annabeth’s fork full of spaghetti froze in mid-air. Jutting out her chin, and widening her eyes, “B-boyfriend?”
“Yeah that one boy you keep on telling us about whenever we ask about your love life?”
Annabeth put down her fork, “Right!” she snapped her fingers multiple times, a nervous tick she had when she was gathering her thoughts. “He’s um, he’s on his way!”
“Really!?”
Annabeth kicked herself for the stupid, outright lie, because she didn’t have a boyfriend and hadn’t made any close friends at school besides her female roommate, Piper. “Yes, apparently so.” What was she thinking? She had put herself in a corner.
“Well, when is he going to arrive? It’s almost 7!”
“You know,” Annabeth glanced up with a distressed look on her face and turned and gave the biggest fake smile to her mom and said, “I don’t know. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go call him right now.”
Panicking, she stepped outside and called Piper. The line ringed three times before her friend picked up the phone.
“Yello”
“Help, my mom wants to meet my fake boyfriend.”
“Just tell her he can’t come tonight.”
“I can’t” Annabeth bit her lip, “I already told her he’s on his way.”
“You what?!”
“Shhh! I know! I’m bad under social pressure, and we can talk about how I need to react better under pressure, well at least from my mom. But right now, I need a boyfriend.”
“What if you called an enterprise car like in that commercial?” Piper giggled.
“Piper! This is no time for jokes. Plus, I already thought about that with an uber but there’s no way of knowing if the driver’s going to be someone who my mom will see through or someone who will go with the charade.”
“Okay, don’t panic. I’m gonna see if Jason can send over one of his friends to be your savior.”
“Keep me posted!”
“I’ll text you, but right now you need to go in and tell your Mom that your BF is stuck in traffic and might not be here for an hour. I need time to find someone, and then also time to convince them, and then time for that person to drive there, and also time for them to learn basic facts about you, so they don’t look like a fake?.” Piper trailed off in thought, “Should I make a quizlet about you?”(ok, that was pretty funny)
“No! Just make sure he knows my name, my mom’s name, my major, and at least one story, made up or real about me.”
“I gotta say, you’re kinda bossy. If you treat your fake BF like this, I’m not sure he’s gonna want to stay around.”
“Piper!”
“I kid, I kid,” Piper laughed, and Annabeth could hear her get up and start to look for Jason, “Now go lie to your mom. Wait!! One more thing, you need a pet name..”
“A what?!” Annabeth said trying to be as un-obvious as possible with her panic.
“An affectionate nickname, okay he’s going to call you Wise Girl, and you’re going to call him Seaweed Brain(i’m also triggered that piper gave percy his nickname).”
“Why?”
“Because all of Jason’s friends surf together and it’s really cute.”
“It kinda is,” Annabeth said blushing.
“Annabeth, you haven’t even met the guy yet.”
“Whatever! You’re a lifesaver Pipes, I love you.”
“I love you too! Now, go stall! I’ll text you his name and basic info.”
The line ended, and Annabeth went in to stall her mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Piper brushed the hair out of her eyes, and called to Jason in the next room, “JASON!”
Jason came running in, frantic-looking, his hair puffed up like he had stuck his finger in a light socket, “What?! Are you hurt?”
“No,” Piper snickered, “I just needed you to come right away.”
“Be careful, or you’ll end up like the boy who cried wolf.”
“Oh shut up, Annabeth needs to borrow one of your surfer friends to be her fake boyfriend.”
“What?!”
“Just shut up and do it, she walked herself into a corner with her mom, and needs our help.”
“Okay, I think Percy is free tonight,” Jason scratched his head, “Let me text him and see.”
“K cool,” Piper said while attempting to fix Jason’s spiky hair, “Just tell him that I’ll pay him 20 bucks and then give him Annabeth’s number to text her the basic information about him. Also! His nickname is Seaweed Brain, and his nickname for Annabeth was Wise Girl.”
“Wow, you’ve really thought this through.”
“Yeah, you know whatever I can do for Wise Girl,” Piper laughed, “Now hurry!!”
Jason ran and tripped on his two feet on the way out, and Piper giggled.
“Oh my God, you’re so clumsy.”
Jason ran across the co-ed dormitory hall and knocked on door 6789, and a white male with jet black messy hair and sea green eyes opened the door.
“Percy,” Jason said, “I need a favor.”
Percy was shirtless, with a towel wrapped around his waist, and a toothbrush in his mouth, “What?” He gurgled spitting toothpaste on the carpet.
“My, oh my, Percy it’s a good thing you’re cute.”
Percy grinned, and put one finger up, and slammed the door coming back a minute later with sweatpants on.
“How can I be of assistance bro?”
Jason took a deep breath and explained the whole situation to Percy, starting with Annabeth’s slip up.
“Yeah I’ll do it.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I mean she seems like a nice girl, and I don’t have anything happening tonight, and wouldn’t mind twenty bucks.”
“Great” Jason hopped up, “I’ll text you the address and the details.”
Jason started to walk out the college dorm, “Oh, one more thing!”
“Yeah?”
“Piper wants you to call her Wise Girl, and Annabeth is going to call you Seaweed Brain.” Jason left the room, almost tripping again on his way out, shutting the door behind him.
“Wise Girl,” Percy muttered under his breath, “I like that.” Blushing, he put on jeans and a button up shirt, grabbed his keys, and went out the door, pulling up the directions Jason gave him.
The text from Jason read,
“Annabeth Chase, architecture major, likes the smell of lemons, hates spiders, and is very intense. She’s dyslexic, and her dad has never been a consistent figure in her life, so don’t bring that up. Her mom is named Athena, yes like the greek goddess, and judges quickly, so your first impression is extremely important. Her address is 9876 Pumpkin Run Lane.” Jason took a deep breath and rambled the last sentence before Percy could change his mind, “Good luck, you should only be there for two hours max, and also the two of you have been dating for about a month.”
Percy ran to his car finding himself somehow looking forward to the date.


“Annabeth, are you sure he’s coming?” Athena asked inquiringly.
“Yes, don’t worry Mom, he’s on his way.”
A silver Prius with two hoof print shaped dents in the hood pulled up to her house.
An about 6 foot tall boy with obsidian hair and an athletic build got out of the car. Double checking her text from Piper, Annabeth said, “Look Mom, Percy is here now.”
Annabeth’s beauty glued Percy to the ground and did a double-take at her spectacular golden curls cascading down her shoulders.
All this happened while the two looked at each other through the glass storm door.
“Well, let him in Annabeth, you can’t just leave him standing there.”
Simultaneously, the pair blushed and smiled. Annabeth opened the door, and let Percy in.
“Hey Seaweed Brain,” Annabeth said trying to sound as not awkward as possible, “this is my mom, Ms. Chase.”
“Hello Mrs. Chase, it’s so great to finally meet you,” Percy said expanding his hand to shake hers.
“Yes,” she said, “you as well.”
Annabeth could feel the awkwardness in the air.
“Well,” she snapped her fingers thinking, “There is still some stromboli left. Would you like some?”
Percy stuck his hands far in his pockets, his nervous tick, “Yes, sure. I’d love some.”

Enhanced Part Two

“Nothing but a few scrapes. Just get some rest and you should feel fine.” The doctor said, patching up my cut eyebrow. I smiled weakly at him and he left. Tom was about to say something when my phone rang.

“Mom? No, I’m okay. There was an accident at school. Yes I’m fine. I went to the hospital just in case. No, I’m on my way. Okay. Love you too.“I said. I hung up and sighed, rubbing my face with a hand.

"Come on. Let’s get you home.” Tom said, extending out his hand. I took it and we walked out, the night sky missing a few stars. Tom looked up and a troubled expression came onto his face.

“You okay?” I asked. He snapped his attention towards me and nodded. We got into the car and drove in silence, the road becoming darker as we went through the woods. I rested my head on the window, the cold feeling nice against my temple.

“Thanks I guess.” I said, breaking the silence.

“It’s whatever.” he said, his body tense.

“You sure you’re okay?” I asked. He sighed and looked at me.

“Yeah.” I nodded slowly and turned my attention to the road, everything pitch black. I noticed from the corner of my eye Tom was tensing up and squeezing the wheel a little too hard.

“You might want to-”

Something thumped the roof of the car making me jump and Tom to growl.

“Take the wheel.” Tom said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“What?”

“Take the wheel!” he yelled, his eyes glowing a fluorescent hazel. I took the wheel and he climbed to the back seat, making me able to climb in the driver’s seat. The thumping started to sound more like someone walking on top of the car. Tom rolled down the window and climbed out, a bunch of snarls being heard.

I could hear grunting and more growling. I continued driving, debating if I should stop the car. But that would send Tom and whoever was up there with him, flying. I continued driving in the darkness until I heard a hiss.

Then silence. I slowed down a bit until I heard something from the backseat.

“They’re gone.” a voice whispered. I looked back and could hardly see the figure.

“Tom?”

“Move. I’ll drive.” he said, his face coming into view.

He had a scratch that ran down his cheek and a busted lip. I did what I was told and moved, him turning onto another road, houses coming into view.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“No.”

“And why the hell not?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Because I don’t want you getting hurt.” he snapped. I scoffed and turned my head back forward.

“I can’t tell you right now. It’s too early.” he said.

“But what if you tell me too late?” I said, staring out my window. He sighed and I looked at him.

“You can tell me when you drop me off.” I said.

“Wouldn’t your mom go beserk?”

“Not if you go through my window.” I said. He turned to me and a smirk started to form.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m fine Mom. Just really tired. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow. ” I said, faking a yawn. Her face showed concern yet she still nodded, letting me climb downstairs to my room.

I got there and closed my door, turning to see Tom on my bed.

“Your mom won’t hear?” he asked. I shook my head no.

“Whenever I say I want to rest, she leaves me alone. Now, let me clean you up."I said heading to my bathroom.

"Why the basement?” he asked.

“The upstairs room is an art room, the other is where my mom does yoga. The house was built wrong so we got a good deal for it.” I said coming back with some the health kit.

Where I Belong

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean

Word Count: 2,278 

Warnings: language but other than that, fluff

Request:  Can you do a love at first sight for Sam?

Read Dean’s version here

Author’s Note: Please, send in requests because I love reading them and I love writing them! If you would like to be tagged in my future fics and my Series Rewrite that is coming soon, let me know and I’ll add you!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom (if you wished to not be tagged, let me know and I’ll remove you)

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

Fucking werewolves could go fuck themselves in the fucking ass for all you fucking care. In case you haven’t noticed, you hated werewolves. They were a big pain in the ass and maybe if it wasn’t for the fact that they turned your little sister, you might think differently.

Seriously, you were the one that was going to kill her because she was killing a bunch of innocent people and by then, you were a very skilled hunter. But you happened to make the mistake of underestimating her and she had more werewolves with her.

You got beat pretty bad but you killed all of them… Well, maybe one escaped but you were bloodied and you couldn’t do it anymore. As you grow older, Hunting because harder and harder. You hunted anything that was supernatural because once you become a monster, that’s it.

You searched everywhere for the werewolf that escaped. You searched for a long time. Now, you finally got her trapped…

…And there were already hunters there.

No, fuck no, this was your hunt. You needed to be the one to do this because she was your sister. She was the one to escape and you needed to kill her. She wasn’t family anymore. She became a bitch after she got turned and it only took you 6 months to figure it out. But by then, a lot of people had already died.

You first saw the Impala when you parked in front of her apartment. She was living alone, you knew this much. She didn’t want to turn anyone else so she tried to keep a low profile but you knew where she was for a while now. You just had to figure out when the right time was to strike.

Maybe she knew you were coming. Maybe that is why she was held up at a tiny apartment. But you didn’t care. She needed to pay for what she had did.

Yes, that is a little harsh but she killed fucking 50 people already in the last year. You aren’t even going to mention the other years. She was always hungry and she didn’t know how to control it.

But other hunters were going to kill her first and you were going to make sure that isn’t going to happen. You grabbed your gun that was loaded with silver bullets and ran up to the apartment building, sneaking inside.

You crept up the stairs, already knowing the floor she lived on. You may or may not have paid some people to spy on her when you couldn’t. You held the gun in front of you and saw the door to her apartment already cracked open.

Damn it, those hunters were in there already. You heard thumping and a gunshot go off. You rushed inside to see three people. Your sister and two men. One of them was on the ground, unconscious and the other, who was damn attractive, was pinned to the wall.

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duckbunny  asked:

top five canon Do No Harm scenes

WILL IT SURPRISE YOU to know that these are all from the supercut of course it wont here we go

1. BACKPACK RUBEN. with his dancing and his ridiculous face and the fact that he is having a Good Time. it’s all i want for him. and then he is all giggly while eating a burger and honestly i think even ian was Charmed by him HOW COULD YOU NOT BE

2. the scene before that where ian shows up at ruben’s moms house and is being what i think we are meant to interpret as charming at his family, because i like ruben getting pissed off and kind of sarcastic. “do you mean say goodbye to my family or [deeper voice] say goodbye to my family”. though why none of ruben’s fam noticed that ian was kind of an slimy gross brand of fake-charming and ruben CLEARLY DID NOT WANT HIM THERE MAYBE THERES A REASON FOR THAT i dont know.

3. the dialysis scene. look fuck off i don’t need to explain myself to you or anyone

4. ruben getting pissed off when jason’s all YOU CANT SELL OUR WORK and he’s like, excuse the heck what, whose work and also how about go fuck yourself because i just gave up a million dollars and five years of my life for you. i mean, it doesn’t stick, but you tell him, ruben

5. the very brief scene where ruben is using the electroshock stuff on ian to induce a seizure because Same TBH, but also because he gets this super intense look where you can just tell he’s thinking about how ian tied him to a table and left him to die like ten minutes before this.

BTS reacting to you, your mom and grandma laughing out of nowhere

Okay, this one goes for the gorgeous @hello-btsfangirl, I hope you enjoy it :) 

Jungkook:

Let’s be honest… even from the beginning of the dinner he would be intimidated af for the strong presence of women in the room. When you all start laughing his mind would go blank for a few seconds thinking about what to do. In the end he would just fake a laugh so he wont be left behind.

Originally posted by baebsaes

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