my mom is being a asdfghjkl

I accidentally came out today

So, the story goes as following: me, my parents, and a wife+husband family friends were celebrating the wife’s birthday.

For dessert, we had something topped with raspberries, and for those who wanted, almonds.

Wife: “Stone, you don’t like almonds, do you? I just have this feeling that you don’t.”

Me: “You’re right, I’m not very fond of almonds.”

Which is when my dad pulls a pun. A really shitty pun. Based on me being a lesbian.

See, in Swedish, almond is “mandel” while “man del” can be translated as “man part”. So my dad. My dad…

Dad: “She doesn’t like ‘man part’ either!”

And I just fucking lost it. I couldn’t stop laughing at my dad’s shitty pun on me being a lesbian. I mean, I’ve suspected that he and mom suspected the whole “not straight” thing, but… Oh boy, did not expect that!

Wife: “Oh, well, you haven’t decided on that, have you?”

ASDFGHJKL APPARENTLY I WAS IN A GLASS CLOSET

Me: “Yes, I have.”

Wife: “Oh, that’s fine then.”

and then they made a joke that I needed to find some ‘woman part’ instead.

sdfghjk I’m still laughing about it, omfg. I wish everyone else could have an equally funny/nbd coming out as I did.

today’s life lesson, kids… don’t take everything Mom & Dad said about food and health as truth…

case in point: my parents ingrained in me that milk = healthy and juice = unhealthy, so i drank less juice and as much milk as i wanted. guess who has had a lifelong struggle with acne? ME. guess what contributes a lot to acne problems? TOO MUCH DAIRY. so while i was being healthy, i was also getting oily and ugly :))) thanks m&d

side note: i’m reading nowadays that Vitamin C doesn’t actually help with getting rid of colds. i think it helps prevent them, and possibly to fend them off in the beginning stage, but consuming it during your cold does virtually nothing. (jury’s still out on this topic i think…)

so yeah. just becaue ma & pop taught you it, don’t mean it’s true or the best…

If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s not being able to do these things on time ;D But why be late a bit when you can be late a lot!

This is based on my little oneshot (that isn’t finished yet either ;D) and here we have little Ash cheering up little Gary with a new year kiss, because according to his mom it brings good luck and moms are always right!

anonymous asked:

I'm Cori, the anon who's mom is in the hospital. She is supposed to be released tomorrow sometime. It's been 3 years of her being in and out of the hospital. Maybe this year she will be able to spend the holidays at home!I made dr appointments for my health also. And my bf-um-ex bf already moved on with some girl. It doesn't matter. I'll be okay. Thank you for being by my side. My heart has been racing since I saw your response. What is this feeling? I've been blushing all morning. asdfghjkl

oh my~ did you fall for me?