my mom could probably do it in like three seconds

A look inside my brain

Me: Hi mom!
My brain: Two bros chillin in a hot tub, give five feet apart cause they’re not gay!
My brain, a second later: Wait what if I get a tattoo and it gets infected? Or if I got a piercing and my mom actually thinks it looks cute?
My brain, fifteen seconds later: What if I write a be more chill Steven Universe Au with the cool kids as Michael, Jeremy, and Christine?
My brain, immediately after: Wait, shit what did mom say?
My brain, a split second later: I wonder if I could buy weed with five bucks? Probably not.

And just, thoughts like this whole I’m doing potentially dangerous stuff like lifting three heavy trays of bread over my head to stack or climbing on the railing to cover the grill.