my moccasins

✰ * º ❛  new girl sentence starters.  ❜

‘  i don’t know which fork to kill myself with.  ’
‘  damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!  ’
‘  i’m really bad at making decision.  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for everybody i couldn’t hang out with because they hated you, i’d be so rich.  ’
‘  i just want to listen to taylor swift alone.  ’
‘  pink wine makes me slutty.  ’
‘  i’m like a mailman, except instead of mail, it’s hot sex that i deliver.  ’
‘  i don’t mean to be laughing, but are you okay?  ’
‘  i had figure skating lessons since i was thirteen and then my mom sobered up and realized i was a boy.  ’
‘  i don’t think it’s fair that women have an excuse once a month to act irrationally angry when the rest of us have to keep it together all the time.  ’
‘  this plan is officially the worst!  ’
‘  don’t pretend to know my pain.  ’
‘  you misspelled the word ‘rhythm’ 38 times.  ’
‘  i’m as mad as a dad in traffic!  ’
‘  i could do this all day, son!  ’
‘  you sons of bitches ready to party?  ’
‘  i’m dealing with a dingus.  ’
‘  you’re the most throat-punchable boy in all the world.  ’
‘  that’s like the president and the vice president not being best friends.  ’
‘  oh, goodness gracious! what are you, a sorcerer?  ’
‘  i can buy my own pizza! can somebody please loan me $15?  ’
‘  i gotta tell my best friend i’m in love with her.  ’
‘  i’m– i’m pregnant. i mean, you’re pregnant. we’re pregnant!  ’
‘  what kind of taco meat do you bitches have?  ’
‘  i think you need me too much.  ’
‘  i’m gonna be fine. i am. you know why? cause i met you. that’s why i’m okay.  ’
‘  i’m the voice of reason, that’s why you brought me with.  ’
‘  we didn’t bring you with. you followed us there in your car.  ’
‘  saturday is a day for sleeping, and damn it, you will not take that away from me!  ’
‘  i’ve seen his penis like… a million times.  ’
‘  he’s my best friend. what if he gets into an accident? what if he’s horribly disfigured and i have to identify him and all that remains are his private parts? and i’m standing there and i’m saying, ‘no officer, i can’t help you because no, i haven’t seen his penis’ and then boom! he’s buried in an unmarked grave.  ’
‘  people are the worst.  ’
‘  hey, do you have any snacks?  ’
‘  it’s a weird life, but it’s where i’m at right now.  ’
‘  i was put in an awkward situation and i reacted poorly.  ’
‘  it is perfectly fine to watch tv all day!  ’
‘  i am not a successful adult! i don’t eat vegetables and/or take care of myself.  ’
‘  as a matter of fact, i am tired and i am hungry.  ’
‘  if i don’t know what’s gonna happen, i don’t do something. ever. i don’t care how much i want to do it.  ’
‘  i’m gonna hit your ass with a ski.  ’
‘  i want to cover everything up on my body with bubbles.  ’
‘  how cute am i?  ’
‘  i’m a color-blind american citizen and i can’t do puzzles.  ’
‘  what’s your problem? don’t you want me to have a good night?  ’
‘  maybe if we get drunk then magically everything will just happen.  ’
‘  anything beautiful is worth getting hurt for.  ’
‘  every prank you do turns out either too big or too small.  ’
‘  it burns! it burns!  ’
‘  why does your hair look so baby soft?!  ’
‘  how do you get this thing off? get it off of me!  ’
‘  everyone drinks midori sours! it’s a melon liqueur!  ’
‘  what do i think the puzzle will look like? the pictures on the box. it’s a japense garden!  ’
‘  what the hell is wrong with you, just waving that thing around like an idiot?  ’
‘  give me the spot or i’ll kill you all!  ’
‘  i will shred myself! i will shred myself in the shredder!  ’
‘  that tastes disgusting, i don’t like it.  ’
‘  sometimes i feel like you’re in one of those weird man-dog body-switch movies.  ’
‘  where are your nipples, man?!  ’
‘  stop being so mean to me or i swear to go i’m going to fall in love with you!  ’
‘  i want you to get off my farm!  ’
‘  i don’t have a vagina!  ’
‘  this is my only face! i don’t have a lot of faces!  ’
‘  i refuse to pay for the wifey.  ’
‘  i don’t like it! it’s too much responsibility!  ’
‘  shall i compare thee to a summer’s day? no, a summer’s day is not a bitch.  ’
‘  gave me cookie, got you cookie! you gave me cookie, i got you cookie, man!  ’
‘  back off, i’m starving!  ’
‘  your job could be done by a vending machine.  ’
‘  i thought god just didn’t give me abs.  ’
‘  what you’re doing is illegal.  ’
‘  i’m not taking advice from you. you pronounce the ‘g’ in ‘lasagna’.  ’
‘  and i’m taking this remote because you always hit the info button by mistake.  ’
‘  are we all just living in the mind of a giant?  ’
‘  i don’t trust fish. they breath water! that’s crazy.  ’
‘  do i regret it? yes. would i do it again? probably.  ’
‘  i can’t work under pressure like this. you know i get nervous. i am just a man. i am not a god.  ’
‘  first order of business: we eat their food.  ’
‘  can i get an alcohol?  ’
‘  if you are for one second suggesting that i don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!  ’
‘  the bees are back!  ’
‘  i haven’t gotten a non-text message in two years.  ’
‘  the only acceptable pet for a man to have is a saltwater fish.  ’
‘  the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it’s like burning fossil fuels or seeing a therapist.  ’
‘  you ever wonder if someone in here has killed someone?  ’
‘  you realize i say ‘goodnight’ to you every night and you never say ‘goodnight’ back? what is your problem? do you not want me to have a good night?  ’
‘  i’ve made out with half of the people in this room.  ’
‘  i’ve had nightmares about making out with two of the guys in this room.  ’
‘  ah! son of a bi– …penis. that wasn’t better.  ’
‘  someone’s personalized condoms just came in the mail.  ’
‘  i just found a groupon for hypnosis lessons. think about what you could do with that! sex stuff.  ’
‘  has anyone seen my good peacoat?  ’
‘  hahaha. what a dumb idea. do it!  ’
‘  this is the coin i had in my pocket the first night we kissed. and i always have it.  ’
‘  i feel like i want to murder someone and i also want soft pretzels.  ’
‘  i hate doors!  ’
‘  suck it, mr. krabs!  ’
‘  no, i don’t dance. i’m from the town in footloose.  ’
‘  are you sure you’re okay? you’re walking like a disney witch.  ’
‘  he asked me if i wanted to watch planet of the apes. i didn’t know he meant right now.  ’
‘  would you eat your damn sandwich?  ’
‘  when you see a dog cage for sale, you buy it.  ’
‘  you know… i don’t get what’s going on here.  ’
‘  hey, you made a difference. how does it feel?  ’
‘  do you have a tank top i could borrow? you look about my size.  ’
‘  cheers to unemployment!  ’
‘  i was about to catch you but then you fell.  ’
‘  there are tampons hidden all around the apartment.  ’
‘  i think somebody had sex in my bedroom last night. i think that because they’re still in there having sex, i think.  ’
‘  please take that thing off. you look like a homeless pencil.  ’
‘  we are gonna make it!  ’
‘  i’m not ready to lose you. i just got you and i’m not letting you go.  ’
‘  i can think of five reasons why i wanted to be your friend: boob, boob, vagina, butt cheek, butt cheek.  ’
‘  actually, that’s not fair, she might be a really nice ho.  ’
‘  i’m not doing squats or anything. i’m just trying to eat less donuts.  ’
‘  you’re gonna be fine. you’re gonna meet somebody and you’re gonna fall in love.  ’
‘  who’s gonna… lay down a flag on this sweet, sweet continent?  ’
‘  i like to improvise with my body. i’m like a sexual snowflake. each night with me is a unique experience.  ’
‘  you can run away from your problems, but you’re just gonna find new ones that pop up.  ’
‘  i hope you like feminist rants ‘cause that’s my thing.  ’

These are my moccasins. Not my only pair, but obviously my favorite. I love moccasins because they are the closest thing to going barefoot. They teach you to be light on your feet. They are quiet and stealthy for sneaking too haha. I’ve had these for about 3 years. My mom got them for me for my birthday. They were vintage, but in perfect condition… not worn out at all. I think she paid like a dollar for them.   I think I’ve worn these more than any shoe I’ve ever owned. They have carried me on many adventures. I like wearing them hiking, and switching between them and going barefoot. They are my most loved shoes ever, and they are simply falling apart. It’s funny how people look at them sometimes, I just laugh inside when they shoot me dirty looks. They don’t realize that if I weren’t in town, I would be barefoot. People judge so fast. But, I’ll wear them until they don’t have a sole at all, enjoying every step along the way. (: 

send me a new girl quote for my muse's reaction.
  • “can we just take a moment to celebrate me?”
  • “i’m always the one who loves more, that’s my thing.”
  • “i take dumps standing up! i’m a man!”
  • “it really bums me out that i will never know the infinite joy of what it feels like to carry a child inside me.”
  • “open your cellar doors, and let us taste your jams.”
  • “i am a rugged, semetic prince!”
  • “do you just walk around all day thinking about other people’s feelings? how do you get anything done?”
  • “will you not stop until the whole world is aroused?!”
  • “i’m not putting on the kimono.”
  • “i just wanna be slapped around!”
  • “eat glass and die, you tramp!”
  • “you are so weird. can you ever just leave the room like a normal person?”
  • “i don’t want a refund on you.”
  • “a plant wearing underwear would be better than you!”
  • “i’m high on anxiety meds right now.”
  • “i am a child of divorce! i am delicate!”
  • “oh good, you can hear me. now i know i’m not a ghost.”
  • “nobody’s getting pregnant tonight!”
  • “boob season’s over for you!”
  • “there is something serious i have to tell you about the future. the name of my first-born child needs to be reginald veljohnson.”
  • “when you put it like that, it sounds amazing…and like prison.”
  • “i got an obligation…at a…sandwich meeting…to go to.”
  • “sorry to interrupt, i know the morning is the most sensual time of the day.”
  • “you’ve never been turned on by gas mileage?”
  • “so i have good news from the doctor—you don’t have rabies.”
  • “oh, look at the time! it’s butt-o-clock!”
  • “i’m a mess, i can’t sleep, i urinate constantly. i cried the other day listening to a techno song.”
  • “i’m not convinced i know how to read, i’ve just memorized a lot of words.”
  • “i’m staying positive, but i’m pretty sure this is where we die.”
  • “life’s messy. it kicks you in the ass. that’s right, i said ass.”
  • “you question my pajamas? you make me question our entire friendship!”
  • “i’m pretty sure i’m having a heart attack, and i haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my browser history.”
  • “you set fire to soda water. who does that? how do you even possibly do that? it’s not a flammable thing!”
  • “i’m gonna take you…respectfully.”
  • “i’m gonna have to turn off the tap! the sex tap!”
  • “have i ever made any decisions in my whole life? are we just living in the mind of a giant?”
  • “please take that off, you look like a homeless pencil.”
  • “why are you wearing a suit? did you just apply for a loan or something?”
  • “i used to just think if i was proposed to i would notice it was happening.”
  • “does it say ‘share stuff’ in the constitution of america? no, i think not.”
  • “where are your nipples, man?”
  • “i just wanted to listen to taylor swift alone!”
  • “i saw him this morning and he just panic-moonwalked away from me.”
  • “let’s just suck it up and french a little.”
  • “been trying to get something going with myself for a full hour. it’s like a taffy pole on a hot summer’s day.”
  • “they make shoes for your penis! they’re called pants!”
  • “i can’t believe i’m the sober one. that’s actually never happened before in my life.”
  • “please do not angry-fix the sink.”
  • “you my boo and i been missing you.”
  • “i feel like i wanna murder someone and also i want soft pretzels.”
  • “can you believe the zoo wouldn’t let me borrow their white tiger?”
  • “first of all, you’re never gonna be old, humans are going to be immortal by 2016.”
  • “sandwiches and sex?! i want that!”
  • “are you sure you’re okay? you’re walking like a disney witch.”
  • “i’m like a sexual snowflake. each night with me is a unique experience.”
  • “this is a horrible neighborhood. there are youths everywhere!”
  • “guess whose personalized condoms just arrived?”
  • “damn it! i can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!”
  • “i hope you appreciate the fact that i have kept eye contact with you the whole time and have made no reference to the fact that you are practically naked.”
  • “are you like a bond villain? you just told me your whole plan.”
  • “why does your hair look so baby soft?!”
  • “i sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.”
  • “did you just make up a theme song for yourself?”
new girl sentence starters

feel free to change any pronouns or alter the quotes to suit your muse’s dialogue.

  • “Okay, first of all, let’s take the Lord of the Rings references and put them in a deep, dark cave where no one will ever find them.”
  • “So when I do the chicken dance, I do it a little differently. Instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck. It’s more realistic.”
  • “Believe it or not, that’s not the first time someone’s broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.” 
  • “Yeah, I mean he seemed like a really nice…European DJ with a face tattoo.”
  • “’Eye of the Tiger’ ended the cold war.”
  • “That’s not even a little bit true.”
  • “Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.” 
  • “Any time a man wants to show a woman how to do something from behind it’s just because he wants an excuse to get real close and breathe on her neck. Watch any sports movie.”
  • “It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are YOUTHS everywhere.” 
  • “I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience.”
  • “Pine has no place in this loft! It’s the wood of poor people and outhouses!” 
  • “I want to kill you, because I respect you.”
  • “Put on some pants or at least some really high socks.”
  • “You like me? You like my personality?” 
  • “Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people version of pleated pants.”
  • “Oh so that was you? I thought it was a couple bums fighting.”
  • “I don’t want to kiss and tell, but I ruined my dresser during intercourse. Will you go to Ikea with me?” 
  • [ sarcastically ] “No part of this conversation is making me want to boil over with rage.”
  • “You care about burritos more than my children?”
  • “I don’t celebrate Christmas, okay? Or as I like to call it,White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.”
  • “______ said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.”
  • “I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!”
  • “Where are your nipples, man?”
  • “I wish I knew what was going on in his head. He’s like a…grumpy mystery.”
  • “There are plenty of things to be down about: The deficit, air pollution in China, The Hobbit wasn’t very good…”
  • “I didn’t really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.”
  • “Burn them! Burn them all!”
  • “I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out _________’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.”
  • “We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.”
  • “When you’ve had sexual congress with someone and you’ve peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment–”
  • “No no, let’s hear him out.” 
  • “I’m not convinced I know how to read, I’ve just memorized a lot of words.”
  • “After we saw the movie “Titanic,” he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.”
  • “My boyfriend doesn’t believe in banks.”
  • “I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, “Put on pants.””
  • “She’s on a flip phone. I mean, she’s either poor or a time traveler.”
  • “Guys, we’ve gone soft! With our antibiotics and our sports creams!”
  • “Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”
  • “I’m gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, ‘Ew, why did you say moist? I hate that word.’ And then I’m gonna be like, ‘Taste the cake.’ And they’re gonna be like, ‘Damn, it’s moist!’”
  • “I never thought I’d say this, but I need to be alone with Prince.”
  • “There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson — I lost a bet.”
  • “____ calls birds “wind-mice.” He says “yahtzee” when he climaxes. He calls turtles “shell-beavers.””
  • “I’m not ready. That’s like taking a musical from rehearsal straight to Broadway. You gotta workshop it first!”
  • “If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!”
  • “Sponges make me feel exhilarated.”
  • “I’m as mad as a dad in traffic!”
  • “I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.” 
  • “Be gay. Be gay. Be gay.”
  • “I’m going to name the baby “Baby” because it’s funny.”
  • “I’ll take the strongest drink you have, and also a wine spritzer on the side in case I don’t like it.”
  • “You know how he gets, he turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.”
  • “Look! It’s a baby bird! Oh, it’s a dead baby bird. I need to move on before I get emotional.”
  • “You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol; you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol. Science.”
  • “If I were off my rocker, would I take a weekly selfie with my cat?”
  • “OK, yes, she’s a hot slob. Ever since she got boobs people stopped making her do stuff.”
  • “I simply want a demographic breakdown of all the guys who hit on you.”
  • “Yeah, I’d trust Beyoncé with my life.”
  • “Of course we make decisions. How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?”
the signs as quotes from Schmidt from New Girl
  • Aries: I don’t celebrate Christmas. Or, as I like to call it, ‘White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night.’
  • Taurus: It's like you're ripping the side block out of my mental Jenga.
  • Gemini: I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.
  • Cancer: I just want to slowly peel the wax off your Babybels.
  • Leo: I’m not being overdramatic when I say I would rather sit naked on a hot grill than wear something off the rack.
  • Virgo: Are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this – prison?
  • Libra: This is a horrible neighborhood. There are youths everywhere!
  • Scorpio: What if he gets into an accident? What if he’s horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I’m standing there, I’m saying, ‘Sorry, officer, I can’t help you, because no, I haven’t seen his penis.’ An then boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave.
  • Sagittarius: I have been able to reach completion with some very precise and vigorous nipple play.
  • Capricorn: Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!
  • Aquarius: Without ash to rise from, the phoenix would just be a bird getting up.
  • Pisces: I've never been more flaccid in my life.
Signs as Schmidt quotes
  • Aries: Don’t pretend to know my pain.
  • Taurus: Damn it! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere!
  • Gemini: Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!
  • Cancer: I don’t celebrate Christmas. Or, as I like to call it, ‘White Anglo Saxon Winter Privilege Night’.
  • Leo: I can do anything I put my mind to. I once figured out Alyssa Milano’s phone number just by randomly choosing numbers.
  • Virgo: If you need me, I’ll be in my room, listening to some mainstream hip-hop.
  • Libra: Are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this – prison?
  • Scorpio: Youths!
  • Sagittarius: I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience.
  • Capricorn: Can we just take a moment to celebrate me?
  • Aquarius: Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape!
  • Pisces: I cried the other day listening to a techno song. My tweets have been extremely literal.
2

When I was a wee thing the 1700′s were always a favorite time period of mine to learn about, so parents took me down to Colonial Williamsburg as a suprise going away present before I head out West! I ditched my usual medieval-inspired clothing for the occasion and instead put on some 18th century garb…aside from my medieval moccasins…they are far too comfy to give up when walking all day ;) 

instagram: meneldea 

2

I graduated from high school!! I’m Blackfeet and Chippewa Cree and it was truly an honor to receive an eagle feather. My grandma also made me my moccasins! My IG is 6pixie

———-

First of all :) those hand made moccasins are on fleek ❤️ CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAR!! I’m very happy and proud of you!

That eagle feather is so cool? Is there a cultural meaning behind it? Let us know

- Susie