a concept: blaise zabini, luna lovegood, and the plot of the iconic coming of age tale, she's all that (1999),
blaise is clearly dating pansy
who breaks up with him to date cormac maclaggen because he just got an offer to be on some football team after he graduates
like, REAL, PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL, blaise
do you know what this could do for my fashion line
if I’m the wife of a PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL STAR
and Draco clearly goads him into #jokingly bringing loony lovegood to prom
because the weird ones are always the freakiest in the sack, zabini
so blaise is like, fine. i’ll even do this girl a solid - I’ll date her AND make her not loony anymore
blaise also puts a bet on it, because draco is rich and blaise might have just a tiny gambling problem
she could probably be pretty, if she didn’t have strange vegetable earrings and perpetually mismatched shoes
luna is QUITE CLEARLY having none of this
and she tells blaise so, in her Luna Way (™), and he doesn’t quite get it
because she doesn’t really make sense
not in the way he’s used to, anyways
so he keeps trying
this devolves into Draco trying to befriend Hermione Granger and crew in hopes that it will make Blaise look better by comparison
nevermind the fact that draco was clearly deeply in love granger’s weird sob-story-orphan best friend
and blaise just could not deal with that
blaise follows luna to an open mic night hosted by student newspaper
and somehow ends up on the stage doing a solo balldancing routine because his mother made him take lessons and he has to do something
luna loves it
everyone else thinks he’s ridiculous
anyways time passes and they study together and blaise realizes she’s actually kind of brilliant, in her own way, and definitely pretty weird
but he hasn’t every met anyone who cares about the same thing she does
or who doesn’t care about the stuff that is central to his entire life and world
money means nothing to her, fancy shoes and good clothes - worthless
she is different, and unique, and blaise…. might have a small problem
(the problem, of course, is that he is falling in love with her)
draco, being the absolute moron he is want to be, tells harry (who he is now sleeping with, in a strange twist of events that no one is entirely sure of) that he had made this bet with blaise, and blaise is gonna bang luna after prom and tell the whole school about it
harry is, naturally, horrified, and breaks it off with draco, and goes to rescue luna
luna is unconcerned, though understandably upset, and tells blaise that she enjoyed their time together very much
blaise is very concerned, because he’s pretty sure he just got dumped
by the time prom rolls around, everyone is an absolute mess
draco shows up alone in scruffy tennis shoes as a misguided method of seduction for the boy-who-is-definitely-not-fucking-him
pansy dumped mclaggen, decided that men are and always will be worthless, and has brought daphne greengrass as her date
luna also turns up alone, and she is wearing radish earrings, and her hair only up in some places and not others, and her dress might actually have lights in it
and when blaise finally makes it to prom, he is captivated
as, he realizes, he always has been
harry continues to play the saviour, telling blaise he can’t have anything to do with luna if he doesn’t care about her
draco tries to apologize, and fucks it up royally, and still manages to leave the dance with harry before the prom royalty is crowned
pansy wins prom queen and makes an epic speech about misogyny and the male gaze and storms off the stage in a huff
blaise finds luna in the crowd and explains that he knows he was misguided, that he definitely ruined everything, and asks what he needs to do for a second chance
luna seizes her opportunity and tells him to go through with the terms of the bet - he lost, after all, and didn’t bring her to prom
the entire crowd cheers
and luna, giggling, pulls him out of the dance, hands him the large sunflower from her hair to cover himself, and says something brilliant and poignant about life imitating art
More merch things in the making?!?!?! These will be sold as kiss-cut stickers! Any leftovers from the con will be put up on my store in May o/ As usual, if you want to reserve one, contact me at _Pyukumu on twitter. Thanks!
I have a confession to make: I’ve been slacking on the omgcp train because… I got a Nintendo Switch… and the new Zelda is just too good
It did get me thinking about how the Haus (really the frogs) would react if someone brought home a Nintendo Switch though. Probably Bitty (who’s in his senior year at this point)? As a gift from Jack, who bought it deciding he wanted to give it a try after a life of non-video gaming? The two probably had some fun playing Zelda and 1, 2 Switch in Providence but decided it was too much of a time-suck for the two of them (senior year, Bitty’s Samwell captaincy, NHL captaincy), so Bitty drags it along with him back to Samwell.
Of course, Chowder’s been keeping track of Nintendo stuff, and his family/friends back home have been posting on social media about it, taunting him, when he knows they’re sold out within a twenty-mile radius of campus, so the boy is DYING to play it. When he sees the Switch in front of the television downstairs, he lets out a squeal an opera singer would applaud at. Nursey and Dex are very confused.
Nursey and Dex have probably all played at least a few staple video game franchises in their childhood, but Nursey abandoned them kind of quickly in his attempts to “chill”, and Dex couldn’t really afford consoles as a kid, so he’s only really played them at someone else’s house or something. Chowder plays a bit of Zelda with them as witnesses, and they pass it off as “cool” and go on with their day. (Very reminiscent of a certain confession about someone dating a certain professional hockey player tbh)
Except they’re secretly fascinated by it. For different reasons. They sneak downstairs and swipe it to play for a few hours when they know everyone else is in class. Sure, they both know fuck-all about the plot, but they get the basic premise – walk around, explore, complete quests, kill monsters, stop Ganon – and that’s more than enough for them.
Dex loves it like he loves any good puzzle. An encampment of monsters hoarding a treasure chest to themselves? Obviously, it’s time to start a fire and ride the updraft it produces to get the drop on them. Enemy that’s way too big to take out one on one in a thunderstorm? Bait it with food and turn that sucker into a lightning rod by chucking something metal. Dex is all about this. (He does, however, wish you could repair equipment instead of passively watching it slowly get worn down.)
Nursey’s more into the exploration and the sights. He’s a hazard to himself, really. Chowder leaves off after the introductory tutorials and dungeons, and Nursey decides it’s a good idea to make a beeline for the castle swirling with black and purple clouds and a ravenous demon circling it. He dies. A lot. Until something pretty and glowing red calls his attention to the east, at which he point he turns his focus on it. And dies. Again. A lot. Even death in this game - in the form of crisp, deep red laser beams and soft blue, plush as hell explosions - is a thing to behold. There’s just too many beautiful sights and only four measly hearts to spare, but Nursey’s a trooper. Or a troubadour. Whatever. He perseveres.
And the game is great! What’s not great is the fact that, at least twice a week, the two of them have a similar gap between classes, and they are itching to play. They’ve only played individually though, and they’re probably not looking to share, until one day, Dex cracks and asks, “If I get the game for the first hour, you get it for the next, and we just trade off, okay?” Nursey’s indignant and puts on a front to make things difficult, even though it’s a pretty reasonable offer, but ultimately gives in. Dex returns with the Switch in his hands like a kid stealing a cookie from a cookie jar.
But playing/watching each other play is an exercise in restraint.
Dex wants to work through whatever obstacles and monsters are in his way and complete the main story, but Nursey keeps pointing out randomly glowing things off in the distance no less than twice a minute, and it drives Dex crazy. He blows himself up on his own explosives no less than twice the first time they do this. It’s hard to play while swatting Nursey’s grabby hands away from the screen. (He also gets his hands on some pretty swanky treasure and weaponry thanks to Nursey’s observational skills, but he doesn’t say anything about that.)
Nursey just wants to go climb those icy peaks with the three oddly conspicuous conifers all in a row at the top, or go wander deep into that forest with the monstrously large skeleton in the center as dusk falls, but Dex is just screaming at him and playing backseat Zelda player the whole time. “You can’t go up there. You don’t even have a jacket for the cold! You’re gonna die!” or “Exactly what part of traipsing over the corpse of a dead monster, in a forest where there’s nothing else but undead monsters, is a good idea, Nurse?” Nursey starts to listen after the (reanimated!) skeleton sits on him to death a few times. Dex gives him the idea to maybe wait until the sun comes up before approaching the thing again, and if Nursey waits until Dex isn’t in the room before he tries it, well, that’s just a coincidence. (A coincidence with some kick ass swords as a prize, but hey.)
The third week they do this, Nursey grabs the Switch first and tries to suggest something new. “Yo, instead of us just messing with each other and pissing each other off, maybe we can just, you know…” He waves a hand in between them, half-sure Dex is going to do that squinty thing with his eyes to tell Nursey he’s making no sense and say no.
“Yeah, I actually did some research on that skeleton that dropped its ass on you last time. It turns out it-”
“Wait, bro, are you saying yes to this?” A pause. “And did you seriously just call googling Zelda tips and tricks ‘research’?”
Dex goes red in the face, and Nursey’s almost sure he’s about to take back his tentative agreement until Dex, the dick that he is, makes a solid case for why they should be working together. “Look, the game rewards exploration, and you’ve clearly got some affinity for the type of shiny things game designers set up as bait, but none of the survival skills. We’ve got what the other lacks.” Nursey’s mouth splits into a shit-eating grin. “Just work with me, Nurse.”
Nursey turns his head up in mock reconsideration for a second before remembering he’s one who asked in the first place; he knows it’s fruitless to keep it up any longer. So, he just does what comes naturally and opens his mouth again. “Aw, Dexy, that’s probably the sweetest thing you’ve said to me this year.”
And so begin their new Zelda escapades, whereby Dex picks an objective related to the main quest, and Nursey points out things that might be worth checking out on the way to their destination. They still trade off every hour, but there’s a lot less dying, and a lot more sweet, sweet treasure.
Chowder gets back from class early one day, and considers giving himself some Switch time before he notices it’s not in the dock. He decides he’ll live and is about to turn down the hall to his room when he hears some very distinctive piano notes echoing weakly from the attic.
‘Those fakers,’ he thinks to himself. He creeps up the stairs and swings open the door at the top, a chirp on his lips when he sees them. The chirp dies on the spot.
They’re both conked out, and Dex is lying next to Nursey on the bottom bunk, his head most definitely resting on his shoulder. Nursey’s is resting on top of his, the Switch still in his hand by the floor of his bed.
Chowder just giggles and snaps a picture of them before turning back around and leaving.
(Blackmail, he decides, is an even better way to get Switch time.)
Do you have any tips on making friends? I never know what to say or what to talk about.
i just answered something similar to this but i’m happy to provide some conversation starters or topics!
did you see the last episode of (x) / do you watch (x)
have you ever though about getting a tattoo?
talk about SNL or diss trump or something. u don’t wanna be friends with people who support the Orange Man
do you have the homework for (x) / do you know when the next exam is? / do you wanna make a study group?
what’s your hogwarts house?
look up facts about platypus. share ur knew knowledge with people (one time a guy harassed me 4 my number & then i gave his number to my friend so he started texting this creep pretending to be from a daily platypus fact subscription and sent him random facts every single day. the facts just got stranger and less true. to this day i have never seen something so beautiful)
if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?
if you need some new music to, check out (x) album
point out something you have in common (i.e. if you have the same pair of shoes, if they have a bernie pin and naturally you love bernie too, if they have a book you like)
pretend to (or purposely) forget a pen or paper so you have to ask the person next to you to borrow some
compliment their outfit/hair/handwriting/face/soul
actually just share your extended knowledge of harry potter. they will be very impressed i’m sure
sing high school musical. u’ll find ur tru friends there
talk about the latest political fiasco (that shouldn’t be hard with america literally screwing something up every 20 minutes) or award show or some other current event
tag them in enough memes and they’ll either love you or hate you
seriously tho just start by asking basic questions (related to school/work/social) and then expand - ask them how classes are going or what they’ve been up to. conversations will flow once the stone is rolling