my mind loves to lie to me


“I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

“Odio il modo in cui mi parli. E il tuo taglio di capelli.
Odio il modo in cui guidi la mia macchina. Odio quando mi fissi.
Odio i tuoi stupidi anfibi. E il modo in cui leggi la mia mente.
Ti odio talmente tanto che mi fa star male.
E mi fa anche scrivere poesie.
Odio il modo in cui hai sempre ragione. Odio quando menti.
Odio quando mi fai ridere, ancora peggio quando mi fai piangere. Odio quando non ci sei. E il fatto che tu non abbia chiamato.
Ma la cosa che odio di più è il fatto che io non riesca a odiarti , nemmeno un po’, nemmeno un pochino, nemmeno niente.”

Often I ask myself why I’ve fallen for you; how is it possible I’m in love with someone who isn’t mine? But then I replay our interactions over and over in my mind. The way you tease me, our playful fights, the stupid inside jokes. The way you look at me when something funny happens, the way your head jerks up when I begin speaking. And the answer becomes obvious. I’m in love with you because you’re my someone special. You’re incredibly stupid and immature and blind to others feelings; but you’re also talented and funny and unique in your childish ways. And you’re not mine, but our memories don’t lie. You’re the one who read the love hearts to me, you’re the one who asked for a dance, but you’re also the one who’s afraid he’s lost his chance.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1206 // I must ask you this: you’re in love with me too, so why don’t you take the risk

Sometimes when people lie to me I just stare at them and I really want to ask, “Is that what you’re going with? You sure you don’t want to try a little harder or maybe try the truth?” But then I’m just so amazed they think I’m that stupid that I just roll with it and realistically have black listed them in my mind.

I see how happy you are
And I know
My absence
Doesn’t affect you
I don’t think
It ever did
So, I’ve made up my mind
I’ll smile
I’ll laugh
I’ll post those crappy, inspirational quotes
I’ll lie and say that I’m as happy as I’ve ever been
I’ll pretend to be everything I’m not
And hope that one day
I fool myself into believeing I am
—  But most of all, I will never let you have the satisfaction of knowing that you meant something to me
laying here in the darkness of my room with the only thoughts in my head focused on this empty space around me. the space beside me which used to be full of you.. your warm smile & your beautiful caramel brownie eyes staring right back at me. or this empty space in my arms where you would lie down as we both fell asleep. so peacefully, so elegantly, & so you. & I lay here alone in the dark with eyes and a mind full of you.

Photography and interview by Samra Habib

Who: Raissa, Brussels

My family knew that I was transgender since I was a child in Mali. They had forbidden me from doing things associated with being a girl like playing with dolls. Growing up, I was kept hidden by my family so that no one would know that I’m trans. When guests would ask about me, my parents would lie and say they didn’t know where I was. I got really good at school because I couldn't  have a social life. My teachers loved me because I was really good at school. They actually really respected me and didn’t mind that I’m trans. I was one of the top students. I studied economics and statistics in Cameroon. The LGBT movement in Cameroon was really powerful and it inspired me to become an activist when I went back to Mali. I started working as a statistician for the government. During my transition, I was researching hormones that were the best for me. My doctor and almost all the pharmacies refused to help me. Finally, I found a pharmacy right by my house that gave me all the hormones I needed to help me with my transition. At this point, I was still working for the Mali government. I started feeling more and more comfortable with my body. I loved wearing dresses and accessories when going out. That’s when the police started harassing me. One night, more than 20 people started beating me in a club because I’m trans. I thought I was going to die. An older guy saved me by putting me in a taxi. I was too afraid to stay in Mali so I fled to Brussels where I’m currently seeking asylum. I can’t imagine going back to Mali.

When I was young, I went to Quran school. I thought it was strange when the imam said that LGBT people would go to hell. I thought why would I go to a place that doesn’t welcome me so I started praying by myself at home where I felt safe. I still pray to Allah and recite prayers from the Quran privately but I just want to feel like I’m accepted in Islam as a trans woman. In my heart, I’m still Muslim. My regular reading of the Quran brings me peace.

I hate the selfishness, the attention seeking, I hate it all. I know the reasons I get mad are stupid and egotistical, and that’s why when you ask me “what’s wrong?” I can’t get myself to give you the real answer and you can only hear a muttered lie, “nothing”, shame becomes what I feel everytime the thought of telling you crosses my mind, just another reason to stay away from you.
—  If you just knew
one direction's song titles
  • one direction's song titles
  • as sung by one direction
  • (current as of made in the am)

(an updated version of this post

what makes you beautiful / gotta be you / one thing / more than this / up all night / i wish / tell me a lie / taken / i want / everything about you / same mistakes / save you tonight / stole my heart / stand up / moments / another world / na na na / i should’ve kissed you / forever young / live while we’re young / kiss you / little things / cmon cmon / last first kiss / heart attack / rock me / change my mind / i would / over again / back for you / they dont know about us / summer love / shes not afraid / loved you first / nobody compares / still the one / truly madly deeply / magic / irresistible /one way or another / best song ever / story of my life / diana / midnight memories / you & i / dont forget where you belong / strong / happily / right now / little black dress / through the dark / something great / little white lies / better than words / why dont we go there / does he know / alive / half a heart / steal my girl / ready to run / where do broken hearts go / 18 / girl almighty / fools gold / night changes / no control / fireproof / spaces / stockholm syndrome / clouds / change your ticket / illusion / once in a lifetime / act my age / home / hey angel / drag me down / perfect / infinity / end of the day / if i could fly / long way down / never enough / olivia / what a feeling / love you goodbye / i want to write you a song / history / temporary fix / walking in the wind / wolves / am / just cant let her go

ok hi guys

for those asking for it, this is a post about 7x10

but please keep in mind these are my own opinions and feelings and I don’t mean to influence anyone with them whatsoever

I do also have a theory which I’ll be including at the bottom because reasons

click the cut if you feel like listening to me ramble

(and also beware of possible spoilers)

Keep reading

To you,

I wish that things could have gone differently for us. I really wish that there was some way to make things work out. I don’t know what you’re doing right now and I don’t know if I even cross your mind anymore the way I used to. I don’t know how easy I was to forget or if you still lie awake at night thinking about me too. I don’t know if you ever consider calling to check up on me anymore or if you’ve just moved past that entirely. I don’t know if I’m anything more than the girl you know will do you favors because she still cares. Hell, I don’t even know if we’re on the same planet anymore. But here’s to a clean cut and a nice ending. I hope you’re having a nice life.

—  💜
Crazy |myg|

“you only heard his side, you don’t know the truth,”

Originally posted by kookiesforjimin

genre; angst with lil fluff

word count; 2.3k

warnings: violence(poor kookie); mentions of death

a/n: lookie!! my first bts fic! it’s been a minute since the last time i wrote something for tumblr so this might be shit. i sincerely apologize if so..

I cannot believe she believed him and not me. Me? Her beloved boyfriend? I gave this girl my life. And Jungkook’s jealous ass had to ruin it. All over a petty ass fight.

I want to kill him. He knew how much Y/N meant to me. He knew how much I relied on her, yet he manipulated her fragile mind into thinking I didn’t give a shit about her, that I only wanted her for her body. That I said I didn’t need her. This is all a giant ass lie. I love this girl to death, I’ve put my music over her and if you know me, that’s something I almost never do.

Keep reading

he asked me a question
the first time we talked
if i were a word
what word
would that be

i tried to say ‘hope’
but it slipped off my tongue
and onto the ground
then dried up there
before he could see

i thought maybe ‘love’
but it got lost in the web
of my ribs laced with fear
then choked there
deep within me

in truth there is only
one word i can choose
it was inscribed on my life
long before he asked me
why try to be more
or try to feel less

it is what it is
in all truth
and honesty
no doubt in my mind
or lie in my heart

i am what i am
i’m the word


if i were a word

Dear my never,
I rarely ever stay so still doing nothing but think. But right now I have no other choice, I just can’t distract my mind anymore. I need to lie here and let myself hurt.
What are you doing right now? Maybe you’re out playing football or maybe you’re at that dance class or maybe you’re asleep. But I like to think that you too are lying on your bed staring at the ceiling with your lights off, thinking about me. We were not supposed to end like this. We could still be hopelessly romantic and think that we will be united again somewhere in the far future. Maybe you do think that. But maybe I know this is the end to us. My mind knows it. But my heart? It still dreams.
Daydreams are made of us talking on the phone in the middle of the night, days, or weeks, or months, or even years later, and I’ll be telling you how your words haunted me every night. The words you said the last time you ever hugged me - “I’m never letting go of you.”
I have memorized every word of every song you ever told me to listen to, even though I barely understand the language, just to feel close to you. I can almost feel you when I close my eyes and hold my palm against the air in front of my face because I have memorized your face on my fingertips. It sends chills down my spine. My hair looks better now, but all I want to do is cut off those red tips because the first time you saw them dyed was the last time I saw you. Every night, in the darkness of my room, I’m tempted to hug my pillow and once again feel like you’re there keeping me safe, but I can’t get myself to. I know we’ll never sleep beside each other like that again. I can’t even get myself to smile in the mirror because I know that’s how I would’ve looked the last time I stared into your eyes and that just breaks my heart.
I sometimes hope you’ll send me a text asking if we could talk on the phone for one last time. But I’ll probably refuse anyway, because I’d rather we end like this than end with an ‘I love you’ which can never be followed up.
You’re thinking of me, aren’t you? I have not a doubt in my mind that you aren’t. It’s going to take us the longest time to get over this incomplete love, if we ever manage to, that is. But there’s no fixing anymore, I’m sorry. I’m sorry our love couldn’t survive the circumstances.
yours truly.
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate it, I hate the way you’re always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
—  10 things I hate about you
writing prompts

just a bunch of writing prompts taken from movies, books, songs or from my own mind. they are a mix of angst, smut and humour. i’ll probably write the blurbs/one shots when i am bored, so send me a number and a boy and i will write it. ✧

1. “hey, you know how you said that i could message you anything at any time?” 

2. “don’t lie to yourself”

3. “and I come into this… how?”

4. “are you just quoting song titles?”

5. “it’s been 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours since you went away”

6. “you’re an idiot.” “i love you too.”

7. “listen to this song. i think it will help”

8. “i’m technically single, emotionally unavailable”

9. “don’t want to lose me or see me with some other guy but what am I supposed to do if I can’t call you mine?”

10. “there is nothing more i want to do than to smash my lips against yours sexually, but like whatevers”

11. “is it a bad time to say that i really want to kiss you right now?”

12. “i’d rather die young and happy, than to live long and sad”

13. “i hope you find what you’re looking for”

14. “so, how did you two meet?” “tinder”

15. “good morning!” “… it’s fucken 6pm”

16. “we spent almost $3000 just to see a bunch of fireworks”

17. “oh well in that case, no.”

18. “you out of all people, are perfectly capable of fucking that person.”

19. “i wish i had a boyfriend.”

20. “wait so i talked to you more than him?”

21. “i dont wanna say i told you so, but i told you so”

22. “this is a whole new level of gay that even i can’t handle”

23. “you make me want to be a better man”

24. “i wish i knew how to quit you”

25. “nothing is sexier than correct grammar”

26. “you had me at goodbye”

27. “you still have that old thing?”

28. “bet she doesn’t touch like me, sure as hell dont fuck like me”

29. “wanna egg their house?”

30. “can’t explain why your love makes me weak”

31. “by my calculations, you are fucken retarded”

32. “i don’t let anyone touch me, because i’m tired of men.”

33. “i want to sleep with you so bad.”

34. “Anyone can fuck. That’s easy, but how many can make love?”

35. “Are you high, drunk or just dropped too many times when you were baby?”

36. “sorry, i just ran out of credit.”

37. “when life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye”

38. “can you be a girl for a few seconds?” “but i am a girl?”

39. “don’t use me as a scapegoat for your mistakes”

40. “perv.” “i’m 20 and single, what do you expect?”

41. “you said be honest, not be nice.”

42. “take off your shirt.”

43. “i’m on a date. why are you in my car?”

44. “how the fuck did you even graduate?” “but i didn’t”

45. “i had to stop and buy some wine”

46. “every time you talk, i hear that sound that plays when Pac-Man dies”

47. “everything is going to be fine! … i think.”

48. “so what do you look for in a guy?” “real stuff, like the shape of his ass”

49. “how do you dirty talk?”

50. “you know that never works out”

51. “you really said that?”

52. “i wished you loved me”

53. “what’s their name? i’m gonna facebook stalk them”

54. “let me be narcissistic!”

55. “wanna hang out? … oh wait, i forgot you’re in a different country”

56. “i miss you.” “we just saw each other like 5 minutes ago.”

57. “remember when you said you would never break my heart? yeah how’s that going?”

58. “you’re doing that thing again”

59. “please don’t say it”

60. “turn off your sad music, he was ugly anyways.”

I. I miss you, so badly that it hurts sometimes. To not be with the only person I’d love to wake up snuggled with, the only person that makes my mind haste and my heart race and my hands quiver, the only person I’d love to talk to no matter what time of the day it is or how nonsensical our conversation may end up.

II. There will be nights when I’d lie on my bed and reach to the other side only to find an empty space, a space that I know should have had something in it, a space that I know should have had you in it, except that it didn’t, and that it won’t. And it crashes on me like a wave, over and over again.

III. I feel the same thing, these very same strange feelings of longing and wanting and aching and missing, these well-stirred emotions hitting me all at once. I can feel it, not just on my idle times or when I’m alone or can’t sleep and have nothing else to do. I can feel it during my every waking minute, whenever I walk past all the places we’ve been, every moment you consume my thoughts and my dreams, which by the way happens all the time.

IV. I want you. But I’m confused.

V. Because darling, if you really are the one for me, then why aren’t you here with me?

I basically gave up studying an hour ago… so I started thinking about how we could get another parallel to “Remember how you saved me life.” This is what I came up with….

Lydia is tucked in her warm,cozy queen sized bed with Stiles. She still gets night mares and flashbacks to the night he was taken, and sometimes she spends a whole night lieing awake keeping her eyes to the ceiling. But this time, she turns to her right to see Stiles peacefully sleeping. She strokes a little bit of his hair back with her soft hands and delicately grasps his jaw viewing every single detail of his face, every mole, every freckle, even his dimples. He’s still fast asleep, but Lydia knows she needs to say something to him. Even if he doesn’t hear her, she needs to know for herself that she said this to him. She leans in and lies on his pillow. Her thumb strokes the side of his cheek and with a smile, she whispers “Remember how you brought me back to life.” She places a small kiss on his nose and turns back to her pillow. Her eyes fall closed and she has this relief now that she said it. Now she’s able to sleep. But what she didn’t know was a smile had formed on Stiles’ face, a smile only reserved for Lydia Martin. His arm twitched under the sheets and touched the end of Lydia’s pinky. Her hand slid closer over laying his long fingers as they finally intertwined. No more worries in the world. For once in a very long time it was just Stiles and Lydia.

Voltage games : differences between English and Japanese titles.

Inquiring minds wanted to know… :3 

I tried my best with my crappy Japanese lol so If there’s any mistakes in the translations please shoot me a message and I’ll correct it ! :)

-Enchanted in the moonlight = “Tonight, the mysterious kiss”

-My Forged Wedding = “Sudden kiss of oath”

-Kissed by the baddest bidder = “Mischievous kiss in a suite room”

-True Love Sweet Lies = “True love is from sweet lies”

-Finally in love again = “Please, let me be your last love”

-Scandal in the spotlight = “Your lie and the scandal “ or "You and the scandalous lie” ( not sure >.< )

-Star crossed myth = “I fell in love with the star prince”

-10 days with my devil = “In love with the devil for 10 days”

-Dreamy days in West Tokyo = “Kochijōji : colorful days of love”
**note : Kochijōji is a neighborhood in the city of Musahino, Tokyo.

-Love letter from a Thief X = “Mysterious thief X love letter/notice”

-Be my Princess = “The Prince’s proposal”

-Our two bedroom story = “The superiors and their 2LDK ‘secrets”
**note: 2LDK is the Japanese abbreviation for a two-bedroom apartment with a living room, dining room, and kitchen.

-Class trip crush = “Class trip : love secret”

-First love diary = “First boyfriend diary in Shōnan”
**note: Shōnan is a region along the coast of Sagami Bay in central Japan.

-My Sweet Bodyguard = “My lover is an exclusive security police officer”

-Office secrets = “Secret office romance Between two people”

-A knight’s devotion = “Love tribute from the legendary knight”

-In your arms tonight = “I want to sleep with you tonight”

-Her love in the force = “My lover is a public safety officer”

-Metro PD : Close to you = “Special Investigations : close ( or rather “glued” ) for 24 hours.”

-Sakura amidst chaos = “World unification: whirlwind of love”

-My last first kiss = “Starting my adult first love”

-Kiss me on clover hill = “Room share: his true face”

-My wedding and 7 rings = “Kiss of oath and the seven temptations”

-Serendipity next door = “Beware of the neighbors”

-Seduced in the sleepless city = “The sleepless Town’s Cinderella”