my mind is a bottomless pit of weird

the signs as chris traeger quotes
  • Aries: I think a lot of things. I like thinking. I also like racquetball.
  • Taurus: If Tom were a bag of flour, that flour would never grow up to be a happy, well adjusted loaf of bread. Much less a bran muffin, which is the highest honour flour can achieve.
  • Gemini: No, no, I’m not lonely. I have me.
  • Cancer: I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight and I have already broken that promise 5 times. But I will not break it a 6th.
  • Leo: First stop, Motivation Station!
  • Virgo: I'd like you to get me some more post-its. I'd like them in multiple colors. I'd like green. I'd like yellow. Do not buy orange. I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.
  • Libra: I am 100% certain that I am 0% sure of what I'm going to do.
  • Scorpio: I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.
  • Sagittarius: I love this idea, and I love me for thinking of it.
  • Capricorn: My anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.
  • Aquarius: And then my herbalist took this weird bee pollen paste, rubbed it around my gums and now my mouth feels like a spaceship.
  • Pisces: If I keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.