my message to john

daemoninwhiteround2  asked:

your Voltron headcanons are amazing and hilarious and a gift to this world

once again i’m in awe that my gift to humanity is shitposts

  • “where’s pidge” “i don’t know probably planking on a robot or something”
  • lance is a treasure trove of very specific and random skill sets that come in handy at very specific and random moments
    • one time he goes undercover as a circus performer and manages to distract the bad guys long enough for the team to stage a whole prison break by juggling for half an hour straight
    • can totally pick locks with bobby pins
    • king of limbo, once avoided death by lasers by shimmying under them
  • “oh my god guys guys if keith were a superhero he’d be the sandman. get it. get it because he lived in the deser-”
  • keith and lance use the buddy system whenever they have to walk through the castle because they still don’t trust it not to kill them and there’s strength in numbers shut up pidge
  • not that either party knows this but hunk can deadlift more than zarkon
  • allura’s vibe is “don’t fuck with me” while shiro’s is “you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologize to you”
  • *in the middle of a fight* pidge: “tag yourself i’m that galra guy who just straight up ran away when he saw us“
    • lance: “i’m the ship that just blew up”
    • hunk: “i’m the cold, crushing void of space”
    • coran: “can you kids lighten up a little???”

John Wick (2017)

*whispers* imagine having a “talk” with John while he trails alongside you.

Imagine: After you get hurt on a mission, John insists that you go home to get looked out. You’re still out for blood though, and not nearly as willing to let your target escape… especially, because your vendetta happens to be a personal one. John is having none of it though, and a fight ensues -one worthy of two assassins who happen to be entangled romantically. 

TW: Violence in a romantic relationship. (Non-abusive though).

A/N: *Whispers* No one asked for this… but I wrote it anyway.

“John, get out of my way,” You said, clenching your jaw and inhaling what was supposed to be a calming breath. “I don’t want to hurt you. But I won’t hesitate to, if I have to…” 

“Sorry,” John replied, in a low voice; curt yet somehow polite as ever, as he blocked your from pursuing your escaping target. “But, he’s not worth dying over.”

He needs to pay,” you scowled, feeling your voice strain. 

“He will,” John replied, drawing closer, in an attempt to help you. “Just not today…”

Fuck off,” You snapped in an annoyed voice, steadying yourself against a nearby wall and weakly pushing him away. “I’m fine.” 

John gave you a wary look over. 

“Yeah,” he huffed, severely unamused, taking an intimidating step closer to you. “This isn’t debatable, (Y/N); We’re going home. Now.” 

You let out a low growl; John may have been armed, physically much bigger, and, well, not bleeding half to death —unlike you—, but even that couldn’t keep you from putting up a fight and acting on pure rage. You didn’t even give yourself time to think before reaching for the tactical knife tucked at the back of your jeans and yanking it out with enough force to send a whooshing sound through the air.

John jumped back, dodging the knife and your attempted stabs with ease, deflecting each of your blows with a series of calculated blocks before prying the knife from your hand and throwing it across the floor.

“Alright,” You huffed, limping forward as you balled your much smaller hands into fists. “Hand to hand, then?” 

“Seriously?” The man asked, almost indignantly, cocking an eyebrow. “We’re really doing this?”

“You should have let me kill him,” You bit back, bringing your hands to your face in fighting stance. “Babe.”

“I’m not going to fight you, (Y/N)” John huffed, before deciding to pull your jacket hood over your eyes and hit you in the chest hard enough to knock you back onto your ass —a somewhat idealistic attempt to dissuade you from carrying on any further.

You groaned, rubbing your chest with the palm of your hand and gingerly rolling onto your stomach in an attempt to push yourself back up into standing position.

Stay down,” John barked, grabbing you from behind and restraining you.  

“Let go of me!” You screamed.

Let it go.” The man forced through clenched teeth, tightening his grip around the you as you continued to thrash around wildly. “Is he really worth losing your life over!?” 

“He needs to pay!” You struggled, kicking the wall in front of you and pushing off hard enough to send you and John crashing to the floor. 

John let out a low grunt of pain with the hit, but was otherwise unaffected, managing to keep his arms secured around your body as he quickly disarmed you and pinned you down with his bodyweight. After a minute of rolling around and banging each other against various objects and furniture, John finally managed to get the upper hand: Pinning you against the wall, leaning in and searching your eyes. 

Honey, think this through,” He tried to reason, still struggling to restrain you as you tried to gouge his eyes out with your thumbs. “He’s already gone… If you carry on like this, you’re going to bleed out… then you’ll never get your revenge.”

You narrowed your eyes at your long time partner, biting down on his shoulder and head butting him in the face hard enough to send a trickle of blood running down his nose. 

“Yeah!,” You retorted. “Because you let him go, you bastard!”

John stared at you with bewildered brown eyes, deflecting a fury of punches and bites as you tried to barrel your way through him. 

After what felt like an hour of screaming and fighting, John finally pinned you to the floor, sitting atop you and securing your arms down with both his hands. You let out a guttural sound, scrunching your nose for a moment before throwing your head back against the floor in exasperation and giving in to your exhaustion. John gave you a questioning look, as if to ask, “You done yet?”. You only scowled, letting your eyes search the room and lock on a last resort escape route. 

Don’t,” John warned, realizing your intentions. 

He sounded tired; unamused and unwilling to let you put up a fight. The man let out an exasperated sigh, giving you a vexed and final look over. After a moment, he decided to do the only thing he knew would diffuse the situation entirely: He knocked you out with a quick blow to the back of the head and hauled you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. 

“I told you this wasn’t debatable,” he said, lifting you up and ducking out through a nearby door. 

dirkjohn meet cute

JOHN: im sorry Dave I shouldn’t have done what I did but giving my number to your brother was so unnecessary.
JOHN: he keeps leaving messages In my voice mail while he’s talking just like Kermit the frog.
JOHN: last night he started crying about miss piggy.
JOHN: Did you know miss piggy was such a shitty girlfriend????
JOHN: please tell him to stop


Gif Request for Anon: “the scene in the first John Wick in the basement of that club where he has that guy pinned then looks up and like meets eyes with lossef and you can see the r a g e??”

Bonus: John Wick’s “Oh, You Motherfookin’ punk ass bitch,” face.

once again, in an act of complete stupidity and awful embarrassment, i accidentally messaged somebody with my john egbert rp blog

Never Fully Believe An SugarDaddy’s Story on his Past SB’s. LUXY AND SD BLACKLIST JOHN H.!!

Where did I disappear to?! I made one post over the last three weeks and deleted it because it was an honest cry for help. I didn’t want to let my Sugarbabes know I had fallen into failure. But I’m here to tell you my story.

Four weeks ago I had ventured onto a millionaire dating site called Luxy. I found my first whale, infamous John Hollis. His message was direct and straight forward. He was an experienced SD who was offering his girls (yes, he had more than one at a time) 10k per month. Here was the conditions :

1. You must submit to him a “thumbs up” selfie to him to claim you’re cute and real in which he collects every girl that fell in his trap, posts them on his social media and claims they were his “"sugar baby” your risqué pictures are then shown to other sugar babies for his own personal validation of what he’s gotten so far.

2. You must spend one entire weekend with him twice a month. 

3. Before you see him he had each sugar baby have a full panel STD test before allowance was given. It’s a $339 test in which he would pay for. (Never did)

4. You must submit your utter loyalty to him. No multiples, no vanillas etc.
5. You must get rid of all social media or not post to any of them if you wished to survive. Any postings causes suspicious activity to his insecure, overbearing ass in which you are questioned and interrogated intensely.
6. If you failed to answer his texts or failed to answer nightly and morning FaceTime calls, again with the interrogation and snide comments against you. As well as guilt trip you.
7. Anytime you try to explain yourself he automatically turns the situation into your fault because he’s GODS GIFT TO WOMEN and does NOTHING wrong in the world.
8. Anytime you needed real help he will give excuses but give you JUST enough to survive with food money, again he’s doing you a favor.

9. Anything that physically gets deposited into your account are checks from his therapy company which you can’t spend because they will bounce. 

He flew me first class to see him for the first time. I stayed in a hotel, the arrangement commenced. In that time I physically received new shoes, an iPad Pro and $500.

Now this is where the gates of my prison opened. While I was there he physically got on his iPad and “paid all my bills” so I thought I was walking away a happy camper. The worst was yet to come. I had quit my job, my car completely broke down, and I had no money. Why???
All those bills he “paid” bounced within a couple of days because finding out he has a stolen account reported over a year ago. He kept “booking flights” to come see me but his ex wife never got the kids, his kids leg broke, he kept getting booted off the planes here. OH and the best one yet, he got in a car accident on his way to get me but kept being put in a room where visitors couldn’t see him.

But hey, he kept me alive by UberEats to my house everyday. Wasn’t that enough? To him it was while every day I suffered. No money, no car, no job, no school…

Call me stupid for sticking around and waiting even that long…but it got to a point where the only thing I felt like I could do was wait patiently for him while he LIES AND LIES. I hope that no girl ever suffers through what I did. I know he’ll talk shit about me to his next victims making him look like a saint. Never EVER believe a one sided story.

YES, there are a TON of red flags in this situation, but anyone who has followed my page from the start knows I give you the GOOD and BAD, raw sugaring so you don’t make the same mistakes. Anyone who degrades me, go for it. But what would you do to have that MAGICAL 10k we’ve always wanted? The one we post all over Tumblr to be the Sugar QueenB? Many of you won’t admit but everyone has done stupid things for someone extremely convincing. He’s a fraud, of course he’s good at lying. @sugardaddyblacklist

anonymous asked:

You know that GIF where that person is like "well mark me down as scared AND horny?" Yeah that's me during the John Wick movies tbh and I'm really wondering why no one has paired that GIF with any wick gifs

DUDE, this is literally so funny because I use that as a tag all the time but I’ve never actually used the gif! But literally 99% of my thoughts every time I watch the Wick movies, or especially the extra content where Ke is training (with martial arts or guns), or talking about ways to maim people (the video where he’s super excited talking about legit techniques of killing people with trusty number 2 pencils). That gif is the only thing i hear/see in my head.

*whispers* I know it’s wrong, but thinking about making out with John/Ke after roughing around… well, let’s just say, it leaves me kind of breathless. 😳💧❣️

Like… yes, John, please do pin me to the ground/a nearby wall and make out with me. especially, after you’ve taken out half of our enemies and your hair is mussed up, and you’re breathing hard, and your tie is coming undone and your shirt is no longer tucked in.

Who doesn’t want to be stared down by John Wick with those beautiful dark brown eyes, a hunger and lust in them that no amount of killing can cure, because it’s not about the killing for John. It’s about the release…. letting go of all the pent up energy and tension. When he looks at you, you know just how much he wants you, because you can see it in his eyes, taking over his demeanor -leaving him hungry and yearning only for you. 

Mini Drabble: Making Out With John Wick.

His expression is stark and chaotic— You can see the flurry of emotions working through his face, weaving their way through his eyes and brow. Then something changes, his eyebrows un-furrow and a calm washes over him. Within a moment, he’s crossing the room, charging towards you with long graceful, strides. Inhaling a shaky breath and pressing his hand against your neck (just gentle enough to keep from hurting you, but firm enough to make you inhale sharply), he pushes you against the wall and passionately kisses you, later pinning your arms above your head.

Excuse the length… I know it’s kind of long ;)

All my love and sexual innuendos,


Breathe, You're Safe

gif source: x

John Shelby x Reader

Reader helps John through a nightmare.

Part 2 |

warnings/notes: Fluff ahead ;)

A/N: I’m dedicating this to @peakyblinders1919. They write amazing stuff and I’ve probably read almost everything they have written. This will be a two part fic! Part One about the reader helping John and Part Two with John helping the reader. I hope you enjoy and leave me feedback please, please, pretty please!

You woke up to the sound of crying and labored breathing. John was sweating and had a pained look on his face. His eyes were shut tightly as a few tears escaped from behind his eyelids. You turned on the lamp.

“John…” You whispered while you leaned up on one arm moving him slightly to try and wake him up. One of his hands reached over and tightly gripped your arm and the other grabbed the edge of the bed. Grasping tighter and tighter as your panic started to grow.

“John!” you screamed louder than you had meant to and shaking him a lot harder than before with your other hand. His eyes shot open as he gasped for air, loosening his grip on your arm and looking around in trepidation. You writhed away from him impulsively, holding your squeezed arm in your hand. Tears now fell from your eyes as you wrapped some of the sheets around your body. You hugged your legs to your body trying to understand what just happened. His gaze shot over at you in realization of what he had just done. His fear during the nightmare shifted to being upset about what he had done to you and then finally changed to anger over his actions.

Keep reading

anyway everyone i just accidentally messaged one of my irl friends with my john egbert rp blog so i’m gonna go kms, luv y'all


John Wick (2017)

“I know what I’ll do. I’ll make coffee… b**ches love coffee.”

*whispers* honestly tho. the fact that john’s attempt at keeping the peace was to automatically offer/brew fresh coffee (even tho it was like 3am) honestly gives me life. 

Hamilton Characters as Messages from My Group Chat

Alexander: I will fuck everything and everyone then write a detailed essay about it.

Lafayette: I will shove this baguette up your ass

Mulligan: I am the true mom™

Laurens: Boys, Boys, I have enough gayness for everyone.

Aaron Burr: It is 3′o clock in the morning, everyone shut up and try to be functioning members of society like me.

Angelica Schuyler: You dare flirt with me, be ready for a kick in the shin

Eliza Schuyler: YOU ARE TOO PURE FOR THIS CHAT???? WHo ALLoWeD YOu IN tHIS SIn OF A chAt,,,, P R O T E C T 

Peggy Schuyler: You’ve met me before, why do I have to introduce myself again?

George Washington: Call me “daddy” one more time and I am leaving this chat

Thomas Jefferson: Cause baby I am a fuckboy dressed like a preteen.


Philip Hamilton: ded™

Maria Reynolds: I’m so sexy that I wouldn’t fuck me, but instead I would cuddle me and tell them how much they are loved by everyone.

King George The III: I love myself and that is all that matters :))))