my mental state that is

don’t ask me to care about anything except keanu reeves right now. it’s just not possible. i am in A Funk about all the things i enjoy, and indeed every actual thing in my life, but keanu is the bright bare bulb in the gross bleak torture chamber that is my mental state at this moment.

[ I’ve been thinking this over for a while now, and finally made a decision.
I have too much going on mentally to keep up a roleplay blog. It’s not fair
to my partners, to Natasha, and quite frankly, it’s not fair to me either. 
I’ve let myself become too negative, and stopped enjoying roleplay. The
fact that I don’t feel welcome plays onto that, but it’s mostly my current
mental state. With that being said, I’ve decided to leave– an HIATUS–
until July
, when my exams have passed and I have less stress in my 
life. I hope I don’t reach a point where I just delete Nat, because everyone
I’ve met and rped with mean so much to me. I’ll post my follow forever
before leaving, and that will be it till July. 
I’m sorry. ]

[ EDIT: ASK FOR MY SKYPE IF YOU WANNA KEEP IN TOUCH. ]

I'm sorry I don't reply to 90% of the messages I get on Skype from all my contacts

I enter a lot of periods when talking to too many people and that can literally just be a few at once and I can’t physically take it because of my mental state

I do not hate you or want to ignore you

I just

Can’t

So please understand this!!!

I can’t even begin to describe my frustrations with the mental health care system in the united states and the lack of understanding when it comes to eating disorders. Feeding someone at in-patient who is suffering with an eating disorder greasy, deep-fried shit, ISN’T GOING TO DO ANY GOOD. It’s going to be even more psychologically damaging. Teach them how to overcome their fears, anxieties, issues, and self-image with the aid of nutritious, green, leafy, fresh foods. It’ll fucking help. 

  • interviewer:what do you think you can bring to this job
  • me:the slow horrifying decay of both my dying body and my fragile mental state
instagram

So I wanted to show you gus this pendant but I dropped it.. I feel like this video accurately conveys my current mental state 😂😭

Guys I’m really worried.

So, the finale of Supernatural is soon and everyone is talking about how fucking sad it’s gonna be and all.

But the thing is, it’s gonna come out when I’m doing halfway through my GCSE’s.

I’m scared that it’s gonna put me in such a bad mental state I’m just gonna fail my exams.

anti-lifters love to say “get a job and pay for your shit” but when I was working retail I was literally making $120 every paycheck. that was about $240 every MONTH. a pair of shorts at garage is $40. I don’t know in what world this shitty pair of shorts that is gonna be ruined in a month is worth 4 hours of my life spent being screamed at by middle aged assholes. i’m 16 and lifting has done more for my mental state than having a job ever did. retail made me miserable and barely gave me anything.

ETA: To be clear, my opinions stated here are in direct context to Floki within the show Vikings regarding what Floki did to Athelstan, and in no way reflect my opinions on anyone outside of a fictional space.

What really gets me, on this website, is where everyone pretends to have all this awareness for mental illness or whatever, and then Floki does something “wrong” pretty much directly related to his own mental illness and everyone turns their backs on him.

It’s been clear as day that Floki has had some sort of mental illness from the start, and even if he hadn’t, mental illness is what is sometimes called “an invisible illness” so even if you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Is it because he’s not a “cute and quirky character on the Autism spectrum who always only does cute and quirky things?” (which is BULLSHIT, but that is a whoooooole other discussion). Or is it because he’s wiped out everyone’s favourite pretty boy? 

Floki’s decisions, the way he’s been acting, it’s not appropriate. It’s not appropriate when he hurts of frightens Helga, and it wasn’t appropriate what he did to Athelstan. I’m not saying having a mental illness gives you a reason or an excuse to kill somebody or hurt somebody. But then, everybody in this show has killed somebody okay? Them’s the times. Ragnar just killed a totally innocent farmer for the safety of his plans. Not for his own safety, not for his family’s safety, not even for the safety of his boys. Ragnar killed him because Ragnar wants to be on top. Floki killed Athelstan because Floki though that Athelstan was the cause of his extreme mental distress. Floki doesn’t have books to tell him what’s going on inside his head. He doesn’t have doctors or medication any of the things we are lucky to have today. Floki was wrong, but he needed an outlet and he had almost no support system. Kind of like the support system tumblr is giving him right now.

What I am saying is that sometimes people with mental illnesses fuck up, and the things Floki did afterwards: The blaming of the wrong people, the tucking himself away during the battle at the Paris walls, that wasn’t Floki being a twat, that was Floki coping. Did he look happy to you after killing Athelstan? Have you seen anyone in this show more agonised than when Helga left him there in the water? Floki is hurting inside pretty much all the time. And for all your mental illness awareness, the majority of you turned your backs on him. The majority of you wished he was dead, and were disappointed when he survived. That is not fucking on, to put it very lightly. I think some of you need to reassess.

  • Greed:*Currently dying* Yeah. That's really all I need. They gave me everything I want.
  • Me:GREED YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU LYING ASSHOLE WHAT THE FUCK! YOUR GONNA MAKE ME CRY YOU LIAR
  • Greed:Thank you, and goodbye, my friends.
  • Me:WELL FUCK YOU, YOU LYING ASSHAT!