my makeup is running in the corners of my eyes

Fragmented // Yoongi

Pairing: Reader x Yoongi

Genre: Ansgt

Word count: 1381

Description: It’s yours and Yoongi’s anniversary, but an unexpected turn of events leads to a not so happy ending…

Warning; Slight swearing



You stood in front of the full length mirror in yours and Yoongi’s shared bedroom, fixing your messy bun. You scanned your reflection debating whether the black dress you were wearing was okay or not. Today was a special day, it was 2 years since you and Yoongi had been together, and he had already text you saying that unfortunately he would be home very late from the studio, but you would both still try and do something special regardless.
Coincidentally, today you were also supposed to go out for dinner with your colleagues and boss, to celebrate your companies rising popularity, you were a magazine journalist, and were desperate for your boss to publish the work you had completed recently, hence needed to go that dinner, but you knew how much Yoongi despised your boss and so clearly wouldn’t be happy with you going out with them on your anniversary instead of him. You thought you would just go for a very short while and then make up and excuse, and return home. You picked up your phone to see you had received some messages from your close friend, and colleague:


‘y/n please can you send me the address of the restaurant again? ^^ Thanks’
‘We shouldn’t be late or else (your boss’ name) will be so angry’
You replied, and then threw your phone on the bed, hands shaking, and adrenaline pumping throughout your body. You never wanted to hide anything from Yoongi, or lie to him, but this was incredibly important for your career, besides you knew you would be back at home before him.
You rushed and got your heels on seeing that your cab was waiting outside, you quickly grabbed your clutch and ran outside…

Yoongi’s POV //
I threw my head back in my swinging chair, sighing in relief. I had just finished up a load of work in the studio, and it was only 8pm, I looked at the clock smiling. I was so excited, today was mine and y/n’s anniversary and I had told her I would be home late in order to surprise her. I got in my car, looking at the back seat, there were a bunch of roses, and a box cutely wrapped up which had a necklace in it, and a giant sushi plush, and a giant Dumbo plush.
When I reached our shared apartment, I pulled up in the drive, and quickly took all of the presents out of the back, before opening the door, the lights were all off…strange I thought. I crept into the hallway, and placed all of the presents down quietly before turning the lights on slowly, was she planning to surprise me too? “y/n?” I called out…but no response.


I checked everywhere, the kitchen, the lounge, then I went upstairs slowly, but she was nowhere to be seen. Where on earth was she? She didn’t even have work today, and she told me she’d be at home all day. I whipped my phone out of my back pocket, and dialled her number. But I heard her ringtone coming from our bedroom; I went inside to see her phone was on the bed. I picked it up, and unlocked it seeing it had been left on a conversation with one of her friends, I read the last couple of texts, and immediately my heart sank, she had gone to some stupid restaurant with her colleagues, and boss, without telling me, without asking me, without even having the slightest bit of consideration for my feelings.
I stormed downstairs, through the hallway, accidentally trampling all over the bunch of roses. I got in my car slamming the door a little harder than intended, and sped off to this restaurant to find y/n, I needed an explanation. My hands started to hurt from gripping on to the steering wheel so hard, my blood was boiling so much, I eventually arrived and angrily pulled up into the car park.
I entered the restaurant, to see a large table situated in the middle of the table, underneath a large chandelier, and on it were sat y/n, her colleagues, and that stupid arrogant perverted boos of hers, and she was sat right next to him. I felt my hand clench into a fist, as I walked towards them, y/n was smiling in the face of her boss. When he looked up at me startled, she slowly turned her head, and then her eyes widened. “Y..Yoongi I-“ she started, but I cut her off by grabbing her wrist and forcing her up from her seat, everyone else staring at me wide eyed, but to be honest, I didn’t give two shits. I dragged y/n out of the restaurant, and after she sat in the car, I sped off once again. The car ride was silent, I was too angry and hurt to be able to process anything at the moment, and I saw from the corner of my eye, y/n momentarily turning to look at me, I saw her hands shaking on her lap, and more of her thighs were being revealed than I would have liked.


Once we arrived home, I didn’t open the car door for her like I normally always did, instead I got out and slammed the door, entering out shared apartment, walking straight past the presents I was once so excited to give her. I heard her small slow footsteps following mine. I walked into the lounge, which was only dimly lit by a lamp in the corner of the room, I looked up at the canvas of me and y/n on the wall laughing hysterically and running my hand through my hair angrily.


“Yoongi” I head y/n whisper, but I didn’t turn around to face her. She walked round to face me and my eyes slowly met hers, her cheeks were black tear stained from the makeup she had been wearing, but I was so livid with her, I didn’t even want to look at her face right now.


“Yoongi” she quietly repeated, placing her hand on my crossed arms which I violently pushed away, annoyed, and infuriated.
“What y/n!” I screamed, she flinched in response, taking a step slowly back.
“I work my arse off so that we can both have a safe and secure future, I plan all these things for you, I love you unconditionally and this is what you do in response?” I questioned, she looked up, hurt.
“Yoongi just give me a chance to explain, I just wanted to make (your boss’ name) happy so he would publish my work, I was coming home straight after” she spoke, her voice shaky, almost inaudible.
“Oh so you want to make him happy but what about me hmm?” I screamed.
“You can dress up like a fucking slut to impress your boss, on our anniversary?” I spat, I didn’t want to be this harsh, but my anger had consumed me leaving me no choice.


“You need to stop being so overprotective Yoongi, you’re being selfish” she raised her voice slightly, and as if my heart already hadn’t shattered into a million pieces, this had just spilt it over the edge. I picked up the vase closest to me on the coffee table, and threw it violently, not at y/n, but it flew behind her, she crouched, her hands on her ears, and the only noise that filled the room was the large mirror on the wall smashing, breaking into numerous fragments, mirroring exactly what had happened to my heart.
We both stood, shocked at my actions, after the silence that felt like hours, y/n finally shaking her head slowly, tears fell continuously from her bloodshot eyes and walked towards me. “Maybe we just weren’t meant to be Yoongi” she said, her voice breaking, and I felt like my heart stopped at her words. I raised my hand to protest, but no words came from my mouth, and all I heard was the front door close. I sat on the floor, beside the many pieces of shattered glass, and picked a piece up off the floor and stared at my reflection, what did y/n ever see in me in the first place? I sobbed, staring into the fragmented glass, fragmented like my heart…

Losing Streak - Tyler Seguin (Smut)

Author’s Note: This is ridiculous dominant and long, so if you don’t like dominance, don’t read it. You have been warned.

Tyler always took loosing hard. It didn’t matter how well they played, the score, anything. He just always took it hard. I had been watching the game from home, and I knew that when Tyler got home he was going to be upset.

While feeding Marshall and Cash, our dogs, I hear the front door open and close with a loud slam. I finish putting food into Cash’s bowl and when I stand up, I see Tyler staring at me.

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The Fall

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

Trigger Warning: Angst, Profanity


Walking my dog down the path, I stopped at a newsstand to catch up on the newest headlines. I always got a kick out of some of the stories. Some were false while others rang true. But I didn’t expect to see him on the cover with another woman. His arm around her waist as he held her against his body. Smiles across their faces and I felt myself growing tense.  

I walked away from the stand with the image burned in my mind. He moved on. I guess it was time for me to do the same but I just couldn’t shake the idea of her having what I had. I began to point out her flaws regardless of me not knowing her. She probably was an amazing catch but I just don’t care. I was pissed. And rightfully so.  

I talked with Chris last night actually. He called asking how I was doing and wanted to congratulate me on being picked up to arrange a new film. He heard about it through mutual friends and wanted to make sure that it was in fact true. I feel the same. I want to talk to him. See if he, in fact, found somebody else.

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Satisfied

Original request from a lovely anon:  Request ma friend? A Steve Rogers x Reader imagine based off of Satisfied from Hamilton. The reader meets Steve and introduces him to her sister bc the reader isn’t sure if he really likes her. The sister and Steve get married, and the reader is happy for them, but feels regret.

A/N: Oh man, negl, I teared up when I listened to the song for the first time and thinking about the request and I nearly cried writing this. It was definitely a tough one for me to write, but definitely a great request, so thank you! I hope you don’t mind, I changed the story up a little from the song to fit the character(s). I highly suggest listening to the song for the full effect.

Pairing: StevexReader

Word Count: 1665

Warnings: Angst


“A toast,” I say, rising to my feet, lifting my champagne flute. “To the groom!” I turn my body slightly to the happy couple at the end of the table. “And to the bride, my sister.”

My words are met with praise and smiles from the crowd of people in the hall. Steve and my sister smile at me from their seats. She’s clung to his arm and he’s relaxed in his current state. As I sit down I see them lean in and kiss and I feel another piece of my heart chip away.

“Is that who I think it is?” Eliza says, tugging on the sleeve of my blazer.

“Yeah, that’s Steve.” I chuckle, taking a sip of the scotch in my tumblr.

“He’s even bigger in person, and… and, uh…” She struggles to find the words.

“More handsome?” I offer.

“Yes! Handsome, that’s the word.” She exclaims, her eyes lighting up.

“Do you want to talk to him?” I ask her. Her eyes immediately light up. She is absolutely helpless.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” I chuckle. “He’s a really nice guy.”

“Would you actually introduce me to him?” She asks.

“Of course. I’ll be right back.” I pat her on the arm and head over to talk to Steve.

“(Y/N), hey.” He says, a smile lighting up his face. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you since, what, England, last year?”

“Yeah, it’s been a long time! I’ve been good. Work with Nick and the new S.H.I.E.L.D. really keeps a girl busy.” I smile back at him.

“You never were satisfied.” He comments. “Especially not with having to leave S.H.I.E.L.D. after it collapsed, were you?”

“Well, I couldn’t really go to work for Stark, now could ?” I shrug.

“To be fair, he does offer pretty good benefits for his employees.”

“Maybe, but one can only take so much office work before snapping, y’know?” He chuckles softly in response. “How’s work with the Avengers? Avenge anything good recently?”

“Eh, it’s the same ole work I’ve been doing since Sokovia. After the whole flying city thing we’ve been tasked with taking out the remaining factions of Hydra. Simple. Safe. Easy missions, y’know?”

“Mmm, yeah, I know.” I nod before taking his hand and leading him away from the bar. “Come with me.”

“Where are you taking me?” He asks, quickly matching my pace.

“I’m about to change your life, my friend.”

“Then, by all means, lead the way, (Y/N).” I can hear the soft chuckle in his voice.

‘I’m going to regret this’ I think to myself as I lead Steve to my waiting sister. As we approach I can see her eyes widen like they do when she’s excited. When we come to a stop in front of her a massive grin spreads across her face. I look up at Steve to find a smile stretching his lips and a soft expression in his eyes.

“Steve, this is Eliza.” I say, releasing his hand and gesturing to my sister.

“Ma’am.” He nods, holding out his hand to shake hers.

“Hello.” She says, suddenly shy. She gently shakes his hand.

“How do you two know each other?” Steve asks looking from Eliza to me and then back again, taking a sip of the drink in his hand.

“(Y/N) is my sister.” ELiza answers, finally finding her confidence.

“S-sisters?” He chokes a little on the his drink.

“Yeah.” I laugh.

“You never told me you had a sister.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Rogers.” I smile at the sight of the two of them together, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. They’re so perfect for each other, and I’m just letting her have him. She would back down immediately if I tell her how I feel. She deserves Steve Rogers, and I know he’ll treat her right.

“Eliza, you and I have always been together. You are, and have always been, one of the best and most important constants in my life, and I love you more than you could ever imagine. Ever since we were little you talked about marrying a prince and having a fairytale wedding and, looking around this room and seeing you two together I know you’ve finally gotten everything you’ve dreamed of since you were old enough to know what a dream was.” She smiles at me, and I can see the corner of her mouth tremble from happy tears. She really has been dreaming of this day forever and it’s my fault this is happening. “Now, Rogers.”

“Yeah, (Y/N)?” He calls.

“You better take good care of her.” I say, my voice mockingly stern.

“Or what?” He laughs, hearing the joking tone I started out in. The rest of the hall laughs with him.

“Or I will seriously kick your ass.” I say, very seriously this time.

“Don’t worry.” He says, wrapping his arm around his new wife’s shoulders. “I promise I won’t do anything to hurt her.”

I nod to them and the room erupts with applause. Bucky goes on to give his own Best Man speech after I sit down. I zone out and I don’t really pay attention to his speech, but based on the laughter from the gathering of people he was funny. My mind keeps pulling me back to the night when I introduced them. Ever since then, my life has been filled with regret. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic for the two of them, I am. I know I made the right choice. I know I did.

“Hey, you okay?” I nearly jump out of my skin when Bucky places his hand on my forearm.

“Huh?” I look up at him to find concern in his eyes. “Oh, yeah, I’m good, don’t worry.”

“You know you can’t lie to me.” He says, leaning back in his chair, following my gaze to the happy couple and then back to me, realization suddenly evident in his features. “(Y/N)…”

“I can’t do this.” I whisper, quietly excusing myself from my seat and heading out to the hallway to escape the room.

To my dismay, Bucky followed me from the room. He quickly catches up to me and spins me around, his hand gentle on my shoulder.

“(Y/N), what is wrong?” He asks. “Do you love Steve?”

“Don’t say that so loudly, James.” I hiss. “Someone’s going to hear you and then we’ll both be screwed. Every single member of my family is a gossip. No one’s safe.”

“Alright, fine.” He leads me down the hallway, around the corner, down another corridor and finally stopping after turning yet another corner. “Are you in love with Steve.”

“I-I…” I stutter.

“You are.” He says, his shoulders falling.

“I’m the one who set the two of them up, you know that, right?” I say quietly. “I made the right choice.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Do you see how happy they are in there?” I smile at him sadly. “They love each other so much and I helped make that happen. I made two of my best friends happier than I’ve ever seen them before in my entire life and here I am,” I gesture to the space around me. “Close to tears because I did something good for someone else for once.”

“That doesn’t mean you made the right choice.” He whispers, running a thumb over my cheek and pulling a tissue from the inner breast pocket of his suit jacket and handing it to me. “It only means you made a good choice, and those are two completely different things.”

“Still gives me no right to be hung up on someone else’s husband.” I let out a watery laugh, gently dabbing at the tears on my face and at the corner of my eyes to preserve my makeup. “What am I supposed to do?”

“(Y/N)?” It’s Eliza.

Shit.” I hiss, working harder to fix my face because she soon rounds the corner where Bucky and I are “hiding”.

“There you are.” She says, slowly approaching the two of us. “Hello, Bucky.”

“Eliza.” He nods to her and turns back to me. “I’ll see you back in there.”

“Alright.” I respond. He dips his head to us before heading back to the reception.

“What are you doing out here talking to Bucky?” Eliza asks as soon as Bucky’s rounded the corner.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry.” I smile at her, trying to convince her that I’m alright. “Just a little nervous about you being married.”

“Why are you nervous?” She laughs.

“You’re all grown up now, kid.” I chuckle. “You’re married and happy. Now I’m going to be the bitter old single lady at all the family dinners”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” She raises her eyebrows at me.

“Have you not met any of our family?”

“That is very true.” She grins at me, finally believing me. “Hey, you could go out with Bucky!”

“Now you’re the one setting up the dates?” She shrugs, wiggling her eyebrows slightly.

“Learn something everyday, (Y/N).” She says. “Learned that from you.”

“I thought you grew out of using my own words against me.” I reach out and pull her into a brief hug. “Don’t worry about me. Go back in there and be sickeningly in love with your husband.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course.” I nod.

“I love you.” She says, suddenly very serious.

“I love you too.” I respond, equally as serious. “Now go. It’s your party. Go enjoy it.”

“Okay, but don’t stay out here the whole time. You are the maid of honor.” I nod to her. She seems satisfied and goes back to the reception hall.

When she’s gone I slide down the wall, my face in my hands, trying to keep myself from messing up my makeup too badly.

Steve was right about one thing. I’ve never been satisfied.

——-

part 2


Thank you so much for reading! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

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she will be loved // luke hemmings imagine

“Beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some trouble with herself. He was always there to help her she always belonged to someone else." 

"You should break up with him,” I tell her and she laughs quietly and bitterly. “He’s no good for you. All he does is hurt you.” I whisper, and she looks toward the crackling fireplace we were sitting in front of. Her hands are wrapped around a warm cup of hot chocolate, and tears are stinging in her eyes. The faint purple bruise under her eye is almost gone, and I can see the dull life in her once sparkling eyes. 

“He loves me,” She shakes her head. “He’s didn’t mean to hurt me, he’s sorry for this.”

“He’s always sorry.” I point out, and she looks at me, her lip curled in the slightest way, and I can see that she’s about to cry. Because she knows it, too. She knows he’s nothing but trouble, but she just doesn’t see how she can do any better. 

“I don’t want to be alone.” She whispers, and I want to tell her she doesn’t have to be. That she can be with me. But the words don’t come out. They never do. 

“I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door. I’ve had you so many times but somehow I want more." 

I slow down in front of her house and put the car in park. I get out, feeling the droplets of rain hitting me as I quickly jog to her door, tapping my knuckles against it. The door swings open, and she’s standing there, in her cotton sweater and her skinny jeans. By now, my hair is damp, and small water droplets are sliding down my face. She smiles when she see’s me, stepping to the side. 

"You didn’t say you were coming over,” She mentions once I’m inside. “He’s not here.” She adds when she notices my eyes shifting around the room for her current boyfriend. He didn’t like me much. 

“I wanted to see you,” I look back at her, and the corners of her lips lifted up in the slightest. I could see it in her eyes; she was always so surprised when I came over without her asking; she couldn’t believe someone wanted to spend time without her asking them to.

“I’ll make us some hot chocolates.” She smiles, and turns to walk to the kitchen. 

“I don’t mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay a while, and she will be loved, she will be loved." 

I could see her blurry outline through my window of my car as the windscreen wipers wiped away the pouring rain water from my car. She held her bags tight in her hands, and her purple hoodie was flipped up, so I couldn’t see her beautiful face. 

"You’ll come back! You always fuckin’ do!” I see her boyfriend- ex-boyfriend call out before walking back inside and slamming the door shut. My passenger door opens and she gets inside. When she pulls back her hood, I feel my heart shatter at the sight. Her makeup smudged and running down her face, and her purple bruise more coloured, meaning he hit her; again. It took everything I had in me to not march over to him and kill him, but I knew she wanted anything but that. 

She smiles faintly at me, but I can see the tears in her eyes. “God, this rain has ruined my makeup.” She whispers, wiping it all away, but I know it’s not the rain that’s done it. “Thanks for picking me up. It seems like you’re always spending your time sitting out on my corner to pick me up from here.” She whispers with a pained chuckle. 

“I don’t mind,” I shrug. “You wanna stay at my house for a while?” I ask, and she smiles her same old broken smile, and nods. I turn on the radio, letting it hum quietly as we cruise down the highway. I hear her sniffle, so I reach out and grab her hand with my free one and squeeze it. It seems like we’d always end up back here. 

“Tap on my window, knock on my door, I wanna make you feel beautiful. I know I tend to get so insecure, it doesn’t matter anymore." 

"He told me that I’m ugly, and that I’m fat- And it hurts, you know? I feel that way more than enough; I don’t need him to tell me more.” She whispers as she holds onto her hot chocolate mug, and I shrug. 

“What he says doesn’t matter; you’re beautiful.” I promise, and she faintly smiles, but I can see she doesn’t believe me. “You are.”

“I know you think so,” She nods. 

“But you don’t.” I sigh, and she looks down at her mug. “Am I not good enough for you?” I ask, and she looks up at me. “You know that I love you, Y/N, it’s not a secret I’m keeping from you." 

"I know you do, Luke, but-” She pauses. “We can’t.” She shakes her head, and I roll my eyes. 

“Why not?” I exclaim. “What’s wrong with me, Y/N? Am I not good enough for you? Am I not hot enough? Not funny enough? What is it? What’s so god damn terrible about me?” I ask quickly, and she bites down on her lips and she shakes her head, letting a tear fall. 

“That’s it, Luke,” She whispers. “You’re absolutely perfect.”

It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along. My heart is full and my door’s always open, you come any time you want. 

“She doesn’t love me,” I murmur to Ashton. “Not like I love her.”

“She does, mate.” Ashton shakes his head. 

“How do you know?” I ask, and he keeps quiet. “Exactly, you don’t know. Nobody does. But I do. I know that I’ll never be good enough for her, and she’ll never want me like I want her.” I mutter angrily. “I’m just the best friend, you know?” I scoff. “Best friend Luke, that’s me.”

“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, Luke,” Ashton sighs. 

“What do you mean?”

“Love.” He answers. “It’s difficult. But compromise, that’s what moves us along.” He promises, and I still don’t fully understand what he’s trying to tell me. “Look, just give it some time. That’s what she needs. You give her time, and soon enough, you’ll get her. You’ll get your wish.” He claps his hand on my shoulder as reassurance, but I’m not too sure. 

I know where you hide alone in your car, know all of the things that make you who you are. 

I see her crying in her car. It’s on the corner of her parents house; her childhood neighbourhood, she always felt safe here. That’s how well I knew her. I just knew every little thing about her. Everything that made her her. I walk up, and tap on her window. She looks up and wipes her face before winding down the window. 

“Luke, what are you doing here?” She asks. 

“Get out of the car.” I order. 

“Luke, it’s pouring rain out here, why don’t-”

“Get out of the car, Y/N.” I repeat, the rain slowly soaking my t-shirt. She does as told, shutting the car behind her. The first thing I do is I grab her hand, and I squeeze it. “Look at my knuckles.” I tell her, and her eyes widen, seeing the bruises on them. 

“Luke what did you do?” She asks. 

“I hurt him,” I answer. “I hurt him for all the times he hurt you, just like I should have in the very beginning when he first hit you. But I didn’t hit him then because you asked me not to; and you know me, Y/N, I’m just a god damn sucker for anything you do.” I say. 

“Luke, I-”

“Let me talk,” I demand. “I love you.” I admit. “I’m fucking in love with you, Y/N, and that’s been quite clear for a while now, but I guess I’ve never said it like I’m saying it now, so here it is. I love you. I love you more than I love anything in the world, and I love you more than you love food, and music and all the little things that make you who you are.” I say, and her eyes water up; she doesn’t want to hear this. She doesn’t want her best friend to admit he loves her, because she doesn’t feel the same way. But I cant hold it in any longer. 

“I love you more than I will ever love anyone, but I don’t wanna love you anymore.” I feel my own heart pinch at the words, and god damn, my eyes are even watering up. “So I gotta say good bye." 

"Good bye?” She repeats. 

“I can’t stand around and watch you fall in love with people who don’t deserve you.” I shake my head. “And I can’t stand around knowing you will never love me the way that I love you." 

"So, this is good bye?” She sobs, and I could tell she hated crying in front of me; she’s always felt that way. Like crying is weak, or something. 

“This is good bye.” I nod, and she lets out another strained sob as I turn and walk away. Leaving her on the corner in the pouring rain. Her broken smile nowhere to be seen. 

I know that good bye means nothing at all. Comes back and makes me catch her every time she falls. 

It’s been two weeks. We haven’t spoken, text, called, emailed, facebooked, nothing. And God, it’s killing me. I miss her broken smile. I miss her hot chocolates. I miss her; and I don’t see myself not missing her. Just as I’m thinking about her, I hear a knock on my door, making me snap out of my thoughts and walk to the door. And when it swings open, I can’t believe my eyes. 

For once, it’s her coming to me. She’s standing at my door this time, in the pouring rain. Her hair is sticking to her face and God, she still looks absolutely breathtaking, no matter what she does. 

Tap on my window, knock on my door I wanna make you feel beautiful. 

She doesn’t say anything, she just steps forward and kisses me, pressing her lips against mine, and cupping my face, bringing me forward. My hands find her waist, pulling her body close to mine. I pull her inside, and she kicks the door shut with her foot. She pulls away, my heart sinking at the feeling of her lips leaving mine. 

“I love you so much,” She whispers against my lips. I smile. I smile wider than ever, and she smiles back. I kiss her again, and press my forehead to hers. 

“I love you, too.” I promise. “I and promise, that forever if you’ll have it, you will be loved.

///

Okay, so I wrote a Luke Hemmings imagine, and I hope you liked it. I wanna write one for the other boys soon, but need some inspiration first I guess. Requesting stuff would be awesome, you should totally do that. And if you liked this, or hated it, you should definately message me and tell me why. 

follow for more :-)

Not sure if writing is a strong suit of mine, but meh. Let me know if I should continue with this writing stuff :) x 

///

Be My Escape - A Michael Clifford Imagine
 

Michael’s POV:

I can’t take this anymore. 

I’m well aware that I have everything I could possibly dream of. I’ve been lucky enough to be rewarded with an amazing career, life-long friendships, and all the money and fame I could ask for. I can’t say it hasn’t been nice to be “Michael Clifford, the guitarist of 5 Seconds of Summer”, I mean, I got to tour the world, write songs with some of the greatest musicians out there, and play on stage each and every night.

I have all of these wonderful things going for me, which makes it even harder for me to realize how unhappy I truly am. I know that I am living the dream, but something is just missing. I feel guilty that I’m unable to embrace what I have and be thankful for what life’s given me.

But somewhere, deep inside, there is still this undeniable dread. 

It started one night while reminiscing with an old grade-school friend over Skype. He told me how he’s just about to graduate from university with a degree in engineering, and how he’s met the love of his life and how he’s planning on proposing to her. He told me that the two of them are buying a house just outside of Sydney, so they can be close to their family and friends at any given moment. He told me that he has never been so happy in his entire life.

When the video-chat ended, it got me thinking: why am I not happy

I spent that night curled up in my bunk of the tour bus, listening to the hum of the engine as I contemplated who I was, and who I wanted to be.

Because sometimes, I don’t want to be “Michael Clifford, the guitarist of 5 Seconds of Summer”, I just want to be “Michael”. 

Even with all of the wonderful things I’ve been given, I can’t help but feel trapped inside my own skin. 

I am exactly who I wanted to be, right?

…Right?

—————————————————————————————————-

Your POV:

I’ve been driving for hours, headed nowhere in particular. 

My only belongings are in the backseat: a beat-up acoustic guitar, a backpack filled with some toiletries and a couple changes of clothes, and a purse filled with chapstick, chewing gum, and $162 cash.

I find it somewhat funny that all of our lives we grow up begging for the best toy or the newest clothes or the coolest smartphone. Yet, when I had the choice to take what I may and leave town, I brought none of that with me. 

It’s sad, isn’t it? How dependent people can be on material things.

All I want to do is break free from the expectations everyone has of me. 

“Go to college,” my mom had told me. “If you don’t get an education, you’ll have no worth in life.”

I don’t know if it’s the rebellious side of me that’s keeping my car on this highway, driving as far away from my mother as I possibly can, or if it’s the honest side of me. The side of me that knows I was meant for something greater than just a four year degree. The honest side of me knows I can do it. Music is my calling, and I am bound to succeed.

But I will never do it if I’m tied down by my mother’s expectations.

So I guess I do know why I’m leaving after all.

There’s a gas station up in the distance, and I’m hoping to find myself a bite to eat in the convenience store. God only knows where I’m supposed to park my car tonight so that I can get a few hours of sleep. 

I know I should have thought this through a little better, but I know that if I don’t get out now, I never will.

—————————————————————————————————-

Let me be the first to tell you that arriving at a gas station mini-mart at 1:15 in the morning is one of the sketchiest feelings I have ever experienced. Two cars are in the parking lot, but none are stopped to actually get gas.

The sign of the mini-mart is falling apart; neon lights flicker, advertising “o-en” as the “p” flashes on and off.

Reluctantly, I step out of my car, pulling my purse over my shoulder as shuffle my feet quickly inside. 

It’s only about ten steps to the front doors, but man, I feel as though I’m about to freeze. The cold air nips at my nose and ears, threatening to freeze all of my extremities if I don’t seek warmth soon.

Luckily for me, I’m inside within a few seconds. I look up at a security monitor as I walk in, hesitantly waving a shy “hello” to the man behind the cash register.

Unsure of what I want, I scan the shelves for a moment. Crisps, candies, soda and cigarettes line the walls of the mini-mart.

It’s all junk food, every last bit of it. 

I settle for some beef jerky, a candy bar, and a large bag of crisps. The packages balance themselves in the confines of my left arm as I reach to grab two water bottles with my right arm. 

When all is said and done, I’ve spent about nine dollars and eighteen cents. I wish I could find some other reason to stay in the warmth of the store, but alas, I’ve got nothing left to purchase.

I sulk back to my car, beginning to doubt myself and my decision to pick up and leave town. If I have to survive on mini-marts for a source of my food consumption, this road trip isn’t going to last very long. In reality, I’m not sure how long it’s going to last anyway. I’ve only got a limited amount of money, which pays for a limited amount of gas. And what happens when I actually reach some sort of town? What happens when I finally reach some type of destination? What do I do then?

I pull myself back into the drivers seat of my car, contemplating all of my life choices up until this point.

When my engine is roaring and my heat is cranking, I finally ready myself and begin to drive again.

By the time the gas station lights have escaped my rearview mirror, there are no lights on the street except for my own headlights. It’s soothing to a degree. I’m alone. Pure solitude. It feels so good to be hidden away. It feels so good to have escaped from the reality that was holding me back.

Fifteen minutes into the drive, I figure that I’m about two hours from home. I’ve reached some gravel road, and it looks as though it stretches on for miles.

I decide to take my chances, turning on my high-beams as I travel down the dark path.

My mind begins to wander; my blinking begins to slow. I can feel exhaustion taking me over.

That’s why it comes as a surprise to me that when a man appears on the path in front of me, my car is only a foot away from hitting him by the time I stop.

—————————————————————————————————-

Michael’s POV:

“Hey!” I scream, in disbelief, though I don’t believe the driver can hear me. I can’t see anything past the overpowering bright headlights on the vehicle before me, so I scream again. “Are you trying to freaking kill me?”

The car has stopped just short of where I’m standing, and if I had been walking at just a slightly-faster pace, I would have been hit easily.

I’m about to go give the driver a piece of my mind, but just as I walk around to the side of the car to do so, I hear the soft hum of the car window rolling down. 

My face holds a look of disgust as I prepare to argue my way with the driver. But as I look down into the small window of the car, I see a girl—young, and clearly distraught.

“Oh-my-god-I’m-so-sorry-I’m-seriously-so-sorry-I-wasn’t-paying-attention-it’s-all-my-fault-I-should-have-been-more-careful-god-I’m-so-sorry”. 

I stare at her, unsure of what to say. I mean, she almost killed me. 

But as I study her more carefully, I can see that she’s truly panicked, and for lack of a better word, scared.

Tears stain her makeup-covered cheeks, her eye-makeup is smudged at the corners. Her lips are dry and chapped, most likely from the cold.

She looks so tired, so run-down, so innocent.

“I, uh, I-It’s okay,” I mumble. 

She stares back at me, unsure of what to think. 

“A-Are you alright?” I ask.

She just stares. Her eyes are piercing and timid, and I guess they’re quite beautiful. But all those beautiful eyes do is stare right back at me.’

“Maybe you shouldn’t be driving any longer,” I suggest. “It, uh, might not be safe for anymore pedestrians.” I add a laugh at the end of the sentence, hoping she realizes the humor. But truth-be-told, she’s petrified.

“I-I’m not going to hurt you. Or yell at you, anymore at least. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I try to comfort the strange girl to no prevail.

She takes a deep breath and turns her attention towards her car’s heating system. “No, no, it’s alright. But yeah, uh, you’re right I guess. I guess it’s getting pretty late, I should probably find somewhere to get some rest soon.”

As I exhale, my breath clouds around me. The air is truly freezing, and I can’t help but wish I’d left home with another pair of gloves or another jacket. I can’t help but be envious of this girl’s warm, heated car right now.

“Do you live far from here?" 

She nods slowly. “A couple hundred miles.”

"C-Couple hundred?” Can she be serious? Why is she driving through the middle of nowhere so late at night?

“Yeah a couple hundred. I just needed some space.”

“A couple hundred miles can give you quite a lot of space, I suppose,” I chuckle.

Apparently, the girl does not find my remarks funny at all. She stares back at me again.

“Sorry,” I clear my throat. “I, uh, I’ll just be on my way.” My feet begin to carry me in the opposite direction of the car, yet the girl’s vehicle refuses to move.

“Wait,” she stammers. “W-Where are you going? It’s freezing outside.”

“Yeah,” I smile, although it’s not really genuine. “I guess it is pretty cold. It’s my own damn fault for not thinking this through a bit more I suppose. I’ll be alright.”

Part of me wishes she’d invite me into the car, even if it’s just for a minute or two to warm up. But I’m a stranger, and she’s a stranger. And no strange girl ever trusts a strange guy like me.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride?”

The words sound like heaven coming from her lips. I move a few steps closer to her car, just hoping that a tiny bit of warmth flees from the confines of her car and out the window to where I stand.

I can’t. I can’t just ask her for a ride. For god’s sake, I don’t even know where I’m going.

“No, no,” I force myself to say. “It’s alright I’ll be okay. Thanks though, uh, have a good night.”

Again, I begin to walk in the opposite direction of the car, wishing that I had gotten into the car. But it wouldn’t be fair, would it? My feet carry me across the hard, cold ground, and the lights of the once-near car have nearly gone out of sight.

It’s only a few seconds later, though, that car headlights begin to come from behind me, illuminating my shadow as I walk.

Maybe this driver will be willing to help. I can’t help but wish, yet again, that someone on this rural road will help me escape from this horrible plan that was meant to be my real escape.

I beg myself not to look back, not to give myself a false sense of hope. The headlights just barely reach me, though, as I hear the hum of yet another window rolling down.

I beg myself not to look back, not to put my desires and needs on everyone else. 

“It’s much to cold for you to be out here. Really." The voice is familiar, and belongs to the girl I spoke to just minutes ago.

"Why’d you come back?” I turn towards her, blinded slightly by the glow of her headlights.

She shrugs. “You looked like you could use a helping hand. I figured it’d mean a lot to me if someone did that for me, so uh,” she pauses. “So I guess I wanted to help.”

———————————————————————————————————

Ten minutes later, I’m seated in the car of the beautiful-eyed girl. The only information I’ve managed to obtain from her is that her name is (Y/N).

If you ask me, she looks tired. Exhausted really. I know it’s never safe to be in the passenger seat of a car when the drivers about to doze off, but there’s no way in hell I’m venturing back out into the cold.

Luckily, I think she can sense my uneasiness. “I think I better find a place to pull over for the night. Do you want me to drop you off somewhere first, or…?”

Oh. 

I don’t really know what I was expecting, yet a surge of disappointment floods through my veins. It’s not like I can expect a perfect stranger to drive me around for days on end until I somehow escape my past and become a completely new human being.

“As long as you can assure me you aren’t a serial killer or a rapist or something,” she continues. “It’s cool by me if you just want to crash in the car tonight. It’s clear you don’t know where you’re going either.”

Either?

“Where exactly is your destination?” I ask her.

She shrugs as she spots a gas station in the distance. “Anywhere but home. Yours?”

I nod. “Same, I guess.”

(Y/N) raises her eyebrows with a smirk, “Running away from your parents because they don’t ‘understand’ you? Me too.”

I shake my head quickly as I adjust the seat belt around my torso. “I’m a musician, actually. I guess I just got sick of doing what I was doing. Something was missing.”

She turns right into the parking lot of a dingy, old gas station. “I don’t need your whole life story,” she laughs. “All I need right now is a spot to park this damn car so I can get some sleep.”

As she parks the car, she leaves the keys in the ignition as she grabs her purse off of the back seat. Within seconds, her door is open and she’s hopping out of the car and hurrying into the gas station. “I’m going to see if I can pay the owner a few bucks to let us park here for the night,” she explains.

And then she’s gone.

———————————————————————————————————

I must have dozed off while waiting for (Y/N) to come back, because when I wake, the sun is beginning to rise and I can hear subtle sighs escaping the lips of the girl next to me. Still, the car is parked in the gas station parking lot, the windows slightly iced over, with fog covering the glass.

My entire body feels stiff from the slouched position I’ve been sleeping in. God knows what I would have done if I had to spend the night roaming around outside or something. My feet are still sore from the miles that I walked last night; My stomach aches from my lack of food or drink for the past few hours. 

I don’t really know how running away from my problems is going to help me out, seeing as I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. But part of me just wants to start fresh, with a clean slate. If I could just travel far enough away—to a place where no one knew me—I might find what I’m looking for. I’m not sure what it is, but I know it’s out there. And maybe if I run for long enough, someday I’ll find it.

The idea of not knowing where I’m going or what I plan on doing when I get there scares me, or more-so terrifies me. 

I let out a yawn, forgetting that I need to stay quiet. Just as I had worried, the sound makes (Y/N) stir. 

“Mmm,” she hums. “Mornin’.”

She faces the window nearest her, her knees pulled near her chest as her head leans against the glass. 

It’s kind of weird that we’re both so calm about this whole idea of sleeping in a car with a stranger. But honestly, it’s kind of comforting to know that she knows nothing about me. She has no expectations of me. She knows less about me than most people do, and I kind of love the fact that I don’t have to let her in.

“It’s freezing in here,” she says quietly. “We should probably get moving.”

I nod in agreement, to both the temperature and the travel plan. 

(Y/N) puts the keys in the ignition, pausing for a moment to let out a huge yawn. She looks completely exhausted. Her makeup is smudged and smeared beneath her eyes, which shine in the light of the newly rising sun.

“Hey, uh, if you want, I can take the wheel. If you want to get some more sleep or something,” I offer.

She gives me a peculiar look, her chapped lips hinting at a smile. “You’re not gonna kidnap me and take me to some old abandoned warehouse to kill me or something, are you?” She lets out a small laugh as she opens the car door, stepping outside into the chilled air.

I follow suit, chuckling as I enjoy the small walk to the other side of the car. I stretch my legs as well as I can in the short time period. Despite the sunrise, the air is still absolutely freezing.

I exchange a smile with her as I walk past, and she smiles back, looking completely exhausted.

A minute or two later, we’re settled back into the car, with me behind the wheel. The only problem? I have no idea where I’m actually supposed to be driving to.

“Um, uh, where do you want me to take us?” I swallow.

She hums, leaning her head against the window as she thinks it over. “North maybe. For a while.”

I shift the car in reverse, backing up from the small parking space. “Why North?” I ask, not arguing, just wondering.

She shrugs as she shuts her eyes lightly. “Because my house is South of here, therefore, we drive North.”

I smack my lips together, checking the rearview mirror as I back the car up, turning it around with precision as I shift back to drive. The acceleration picks up, and within thirty or forty seconds, the gas station is no longer in sight.

I think about what she said. She lives South of here. I wonder what type of house she lives in, and if she has a boyfriend back home. I wonder what her family life is like, and if she’s enrolled in university.

Most of all, I wonder what she’s running from. What could possibly make such a young and beautiful girl want to run away?

I want to ask, but she’s the one that told me she didn’t need to know my life story, so I assume she doesn’t want to know mine either.

Still, I can’t help but break the comfortable silence. “You know you can’t just run away from home. It’s always going to be there, you know? I mean you can escape for a while, but you’re going to have to go back.”

Her eyes open slowly, and I can tell she was nearly asleep when I began speaking again. Letting out a heavy sigh, she replies “That’s kind of hypocritical of you. You’re telling me I can’t run away, but you’re doing the exact same thing.”

I feel slightly offended that she’s calling me a hypocrite, so I decide to argue back. “I’m not running away from home, though. I’m just running away from an unfortunate situation. I don’t have to return back to that life, I can keep running. But you on the other hand, I’m sure you have a family and friends and a boyfriend back home and I’m sure they’re all going to miss you if you just drive a thousand miles and never speak to them again.”

She rolls her eyes, looking at me, even though I keep my eyes on the road. “You don’t know me, okay? And besides, your situation is no different than mine. We are both running.”

“No. You are running away from your problems. I am simply escaping.”

“I’m not running from anything. And besides, there is nothing different between running away and escaping. You’re just telling yourself that to make yourself feel like you aren’t leaving everything you have behind,” she says blatantly.

I ignore the latter part of her statement, continuing to argue to first part of her argument. “I’m pretty sure we both just decided that you are. I mean you just said that you were running away, too. As in, both of us are running.” I roll my eyes as I follow the narrow highway, getting fed up with arguing, and frankly getting slightly confused.

"So you admit that you are running away?” A look of pride appears on her tired face as she assumes she’s won this argument.

Fuck. She got me.

I decide to keep my eyes on the road, avoiding anymore conflict. I know I need to behave and keep my mouth shut if I want to stay in this car.

After minutes of silence, she replies.

“Yes, I said I was running. But like I was trying to explain, I didn’t say I was running from anything.” She yawns, stretching slightly in her seat as she looks away from me.

"Then what exactly are you doing?”

She gazes off into the distance, a small, faded smile appearing on her face. “I’m running for something. I’m running for my future. For my career.”

“Um,” I mumble. “What exactly do you want to do as a career?”

She looks right at me, with a matter-of-factly-grin. “I want to be a musician.”

As soon as she’s finished speaking, she turns back towards the window and pulls her knees tightly against her chest. A piece of hair falls from behind her ear, and she reaches up to push it back. Momentarily, it stays behind her ear, only to fall again seconds later.

This time, she doesn’t attempt to put her hair back in place, instead, she just sighs and makes herself a bit more comfortable against the car window.

In that moment, I feel a pang of guilt. I want to take my hands off of the steering wheel and tuck that strand of hair behind her ear. I want to pull her into my arms, even if it’s just for a moment and tell her the truth.

The truth about my past, and the truth about why I’m running.

I’m running away from my career as a musician, and that’s exactly what she’s running for. 

I feel almost obligated to explain to her all the downfalls of the music industry. How I left behind absolutely everything to follow my so-called dream, only to realize years later that I was truly unhappy: unfulfilled.

It’s so strange to think of what a few hours in a car with a stranger can do. She made it clear that she didn’t want to share her story with me, but now I’m desperate to know.

Alas, there’s nothing I can do right now. She is asleep; I am driving. Any further conversation is going to have to wait.

Quickly, I glance once more at the sleeping person next to me; she is so calm and innocent. Innocent. 

That innocence is what makes me feel morally obligated to tell her the truth. To keep her from falling down the wrong path, and taking after me.

————————————————————————————————-

would you guys want a part 2? it’s not really a fanfic, just a piece of writing that i’ve been working on for a while, and it’s just been sitting here in my drafts while i figure out where to go from here. let me know what you think! xo