my love for you is unhealthy

The official drama cd in which Todoroki and Yaoyorozu went for their first time to the Ennichi Festival together GIVES ME SO MUCH LOVE !!! i really enjoy to draw yaomomo and todo in traditional clothes, they’re such beauties

In the audio Yaomomo tells Touro and Ochako that she never went to a festival like the Ennichi and were never allowed to eat some food there, ‘cause in her mothers point of view it’s a way to unhealthy and sleazy.- But imagine cute and excited Yaomomo looking at a candy apple sales booth and Todo is buying her one //dying


You want to see more of my drawing stuff? Just click on the tag “myart” / “my art” <3 (More is coming soon ❤)

anonymous asked:

I broke up with my first girlfriend about a year and a half ago to end an unhealthy, suffocating relationship. She continued to harass me after it ended, but a few months ago she moved away for good. I haven't been on more than a date since then, and I'm really happy on my own, but when I think of relationships now, I just feel trapped and avoidant. How do I get over this? Will I ever want to be with someone again?

I can honestly say, with great certainty and absolute faith, that I did not know what love was until I knew what love was not. You will continue to grow, and those feelings of being trapped will ease away, gently, slowly. Just take your time. You cannot rush love or relationships. Focus on yourself, and the rest will follow.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I don't have much experience with love, but I want to write a story involving a girl who has been bullied and the guy who bullied her. I want to write how years later they meet again and fall in love. The problem is that I don't want people thinking it is a unhealthy relationship since he bullied her. What can i do to prevent people thinking That?

Hi, love!  Thanks for your question :D

So my first piece of advice is to give yourself grace and time.  This kind of relationship will be delicate to maneuver, as there are a lot of complex emotions involved.  You won’t get it right in the first draft, and that’s okay.  Do your best, get feedback, and fix your mistakes in the second draft.  That’s the most important part of the writing process.

Next, I’d say you should talk to some people (or read some stories about people) who have been bullied, and learn how it has affected them and their future.  Ask those people how they feel about their childhood bullies now that they’re adults – what they’d want from their bullies (apologies, revenge, distance) if they were to meet again.  Decide how extreme your character’s bullying was, and what aspect of her character was targeted – her physical appearance, her personality, her intelligence, her weaknesses/flaws, her sexuality, etc.  This will affect her relationship with the bully in the present day.

That should be your highest concern here – making this as realistic as possible.  Your female character should have a real bullying experience, whether the bullying was occasional or brutal or interlaced with genuine interactions, etc.  Likewise, your bully character should be believable, both in his motivation behind bullying (e.g. low self-esteem, family problems) and in his growth since then.  No person bullies for no reason, and no bully changes overnight.

I think it also has a lot to do with your characters’ personalities, really.  If your female character is very emotionally mature, secure, healed, and self-confident, it will be easier for her to forgive him – and, by extension, easier for the reader to forgive him.  If your male character is very apologetic, kind, mature, loving, and gentle, our view of him will be greatly improved.  But your characters are human.  They will not be all these things, and they certainly won’t be any of them 100% of the time.  Find a balance that doesn’t seem too good to be true, but isn’t the worst possible combination of character traits.

Lastly, I’d research what healthy relationships look like!  Read up on real stories; find out what psychologists use to define healthy romantic relationships.  There’s an abundance of opinions out there, and plenty of reading material :)

Anyway, this was long and rambly, so I apologize.  On another day, I might go into my point of view on healthy relationships – but this post is already too busy.  I hope this helps anyway!

Thanks again for your question!  Happy writing!

– Mod Joanna ♥️


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

“My boyfriend isn’t allowed to talk to other girls,” is just as unhealthy as “My girlfriend isn’t allowed to talk to other guys.”

“You can’t hang out with [boyfriend’s female friend] anymore,” is just as abusive as “You can’t hang out with [girlfriend’s male friend] anymore.”

“My man isn’t allowed to go out with his guys unless I’m with him,” is just as creepy and possessive as “My girl isn’t allowed to go out with her friends unless I’m with her.”

A woman who controls and manipulates her boyfriend is just as abusive as a man who controls and manipulates his girlfriend, pass it on.

(for @yoituuri and @starryfeathers. I accidentally deleted this whole thing once so hopefully it doesn’t happen again/ it’s not rushed. I hope you enjoy you two, and anybody else who reads this!)

I made a post about my favorite boy Victor not too long ago, and I mentioned a shot in passing that I really loved, but because it wasn’t the focus of the post, I didn’t go into it. I would like to now. Here it is:

This is the first glimpse of Victor we get within canon. Well, beyond the opening sequence with Yuuri watching Victor skate as they grow up but I think we can all agree that was outside of canon and can be discarded here.

Anyway.

It’s a damn good first glimpse. As you’ve probably already noticed, Victor’s eyes are covered. Deliberately. Dude fuckin does a twirl and the camera is framed in such a way that we don’t get to see his eyes until he looks up for the cameras. That’s an interesting touch, for several reasons. 

First, when a character’s eyes are not visible, it implies something is hidden within them. A trait, motivation, true emotions, etc etc. 

Secondly, the fact that we can’t see Victor’s eyes until he turns to the cameras with that fake-ass media smile. In this scene, we’re being treated as the public. Victor is immediately hiding from us and the rest of the world. You know, something he does all the goddamn time.

Victor is scarily good at masking. For those who don’t know what I mean, masking is the act of hiding one’s true personality, desires, and/or emotions to conform to society. I mask due to past trauma. Victor masks to meet public expectation. 

You’ve probably guessed already that masking is incredibly unhealthy–it’s repression, after all. If it gets bad enough, you’ll stop knowing where masking ends and you begin. Sometimes it takes me months to figure out how I feel about something because I need to sort through so many layers of masking and anxiety and doubt. It’s really difficult sometimes. 

We see tons of lovely examples of Victor masking throughout the show. Here are a few off the top of my head: 

(^absolutely terrified vitya trying to be smooth)

(^living up to his press image)

(^so incredibly upset on so many levels but he doesn’t dare show it)

(^pissed enough that yuuri picks up on it. and then acts dishonestly w/ yuuri by trying to come off as pleasant)

(i love that yuuri is comfortable enough by this point to call victor out on his bs. if you’re gonna get mad, get mad) 

(you can actually see Victor’s hand shake if you watch the scene. boy is so pissed and he’s holding it in)

etc etc. 

Victor is actually incredibly reserved in all the emotions he shows, especially if it’s anger or sadness. For most of the series, he only lets himself go in front of Yuuri or alone. Victor hides from himself, he hides from Yuuri, and it helps no one in the end. 

The beach sequence, actually, is important to this idea too. As we know, Victor asks Yuuri what he wants them to be. 

And then he lists off all these options before essentially asking to go out with him, but in a way that says he’s too scared to do it outright.

Now, this is partially to gauge Yuuri’s feelings towards him, but it’s also highly revealing of Victor’s self-worth. He’s willing to put on any mask, any persona to be with Yuuri. Yuuri, of course, doesn’t want this at all. 

🚨 HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP ALERT!🚨

And looking at Victor’s reaction (guarded surprise)

This may be the first time Victor has been asked to just be himself. 

So if Victor was a world champion at 16

(boy is 15-16 in that article)

He must have been skating for a while beforehand. We can probably approximate by saying he started competitions around the time Yuri did, which I estimate to be about 12-13. However, Victor does say this 

And if we’re to believe him, 27-20=7, and therefore something happened at the age of 7 to force Victor into backing away from others and working himself to the bone. Uhm, wow. I don’t know how accurate it is to say that, but regardless, he’s been in the public eye for a long fuckin time. 

Victor has spent this long fuckin time building an image: elegance, confidence, charming yet untouchable. The perfect playboy, in a way. This is the person he presents to the public. I think he’s been masking like this for so long he forgot that this isn’t who he is–Victor has the ability to be all those things, but it’s not who he is. Victor is excitable, bubbly, caring, vulnerable, depressed, lonely, hardworking…Yuuri, by asking Victor to be himself, released a metaphorical floodgate on Victor’s emotions. He’s broken that carefully crafted persona. 

Victor is now publicly goofy and affectionate

(i love how he hides his face a little here…how cute and shy while showing off that he’s yuuri’s)

And can drop his composure comfortably 

(also vitya always wears gloves to competitions until they get the rings and then victor keeps the gloves off completely :v) 

I love that Victor’s relationship with Yuuri has allowed him to find himself again, and peel away those masks to live and breathe and love as he was always meant to. 

2

Went and saw the Lego Batman movie tonight and it was so good. It was so good you guys it was so GOOD

Every OJST Comic
  • Erika Moen, buried neck deep in the ground: Hey, guys. Today we have a special guest comic from the guy who lives in the sewage pipe behind my house. Hopefully this one doesn't get too FILTHY for you.
  • Some Guy: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
  • Dirt Monger: *poofs out of nowhere*
  • Some Guy: Who are you!!!????
  • Dirt Monger: I'm the dirt monger and I love eating dirt for sexual pleasure.
  • Some Guy: You mean shoveling tons of dirt into your mouth!!!!!?????????????????
  • Dirt Monger: Yes, it's a completely valid normal way of exploring your kinky identity.
  • Some Guy: But, isn't eating dirt SUPER UNHEALTHY.
  • Dirt Monger: Not at all if you follow SAFE DIRT PROTOCOLS. Always make sure to wear dental dam while consuming dirt sexually and to never actually swallow dirt because you don't want that shit in your stomach. Set up code phrases with your partner like "More Dirt" and "Not Enough Dirt" if you don't think you're getting your fair share of dirt shoveled directly into your stupid fucking face.
  • Some Guy: Wow, I'm so turned on right now.
  • Dirt Monger: That's the spirit. Consuming dirt like a human backhoe is a great way to bond with your partner and discover more about yourself as well.
  • Some Guy: I can't wait to eat dirt like the disgusting troglodyte that I am. Actually, can we mud too?
  • Dirt Monger: No, you dumbass! Dirt and mud are completely unrelated things! I'm the dirt monger, not the mud monger! Do you think I'm stupid?
  • Some Guy: Jeez, sorry I asked.
  • Dirt Monger: Hahaha! One more thing, eating dirt has a direct connection to several radical far-right subcultures. Googling dirt eating may take you down a dark path. I just want everyone to know that they do not represent the whole of the dirt eating community. You can practice the sexual consumption of dirt without turning into a nazi. We completely and entirely disavow fascist dirt eaters. THANKS FOR READING.

no more apology texts. no more reckless highway speeding. no more scribbled poetry in the back of spanish class. there is nothing left to lose. there is nothing left for you.

you haven’t seen me since i dyed my hair and it’s nice to have something you didn’t get to ruin. i’m dressing different too and lipsticking my way out of the girl you tore apart. i can finally breathe easy. i can finally be grateful that i never really meant it when i kissed you.

look, it’s me without you. look, i’m doing just fine. look, goddamn it, i’m lighter than i’ve been in months. there are seven billion people on the planet. i don’t think you matter so much anymore.

—  I MET SOMEONE WITH YOUR NAME AND DIDNT FLINCH // s. osborn
shows on netflix u should definitely be watching
  • Crazy-Ex Girlfriend - ITS A COMEDY MUSICAL, GUYS, CREATED BY RACHEL BLOOM (who won a golden globe?? YES HER). get to the 3rd episode at least. there’s an OPENLY BISEXUAL CHARACTER (later on in the season) and its such a good representation of love & what it actually is and growing up and letting go?? such a good show
  • BoJack Horseman - just a really, really good & cleverly written show about an anthropomorphic horse. 7000% animal puns. 5000% describes exactly how u feel about life and sadness.
  • Jane the Virgin - CUTE!! mock telenovela that deals with lots of social issues, like immigration, etc (the last episode i watched had the narrator checking every scene for the bechdel test omg) ALSO, arrested development level narration, fam, get on this. gina rodriguez will slay ur ass
  • Bob’s Burgers - such a good lil family show about a burger joint. watch this when you need to laugh or just to lift ur spirits. also, we are all either gene, louise, or tina. don’t lie
  • Lovesick (prev. Scrotal Recall) - adorable show prev. suffering from a truly tragic name. cute & british, about a man who finds out he has chlamydia and has to tell all of his previous sexual partners. you’ll fall in love with these characters by the end of s1, they’re all so dear to me
  • Master of None - aziz ansari’s show. each episode is basically a lil movie. the love story is ridiculously cute and it talks on some subjects rlly well
  • Jessica Jones - !!!!!!! if you haven’t seen this, GET ON IT. esp. if you’re a girl, cause this is SUCH A RELATABLE SHOW FOR WOMEN. grizzled neo-noir female detective? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. also, watch daredevil if u wanna be caught up for Marvel’s Defenders, which is gonna be sofuckinggood
  • Sense8 - HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN THIS ONE? god, it’s so good. it’s got some problems but overall it does well @ showing other cultures and also some kickass sequences and wow main the characters interacting is just A1
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia/The League - this is. so funny. get past the 1st season and its such a good garbage show. the characters are such assholes, dude. they’re horrible. super dark humor, only watch if ur into that/ funny show abt a fantasy football league. both garbage shows and i love them w all my heart
  • Arrested Development - just in case u haven’t seen the best show ever written. basis of basically every comedy show u love. watch.
  • The Office - how have u not binged the office?? binge the office.
  • Comedy Specials - comedy specials are an UNTAPPED GOLDMINE on netflix. some of my fave comedians are John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, Ali Wong, Chelsea Peretti, Donald Glover, Jim Gaffigan, and Aziz Ansari.

BONUS - non-netflix shows u should also be watching

  • You’re The Worst - messed up characters and darkkk dry humor, but the second season does such an EXCELLENT job at portraying depression!! also, a dysfunctional relationship that is not necessarily unhealthy (sometimes, tho, sometimes)
  • Community - ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS. Gets emotional so quickly. S1-3 are some of the best moments on television. skip S4. S5-6 are good but S1-3 are amazing. characters will become all of ur faves
  • Westworld - my expectations for this show were sky-high and it has oNLY PROVED THEM RIGHT! half sci-fi, half western fantasy VR, all badass. i have no idea what’s going on and i love it. literally Robots With Anxiety #relatable

pls add to this if you have any great shows, and i’ll update this list whenever i find something else wonderful that i don’t hear people talking about

sworn to the sword rewrite:

  • pearl is hesitant to train connie at first, because she is so young. connie insists
  • pearl turns out to be a kind, patient teacher who who starts it slow, and even goes overkill on the safety precautions. connie is annoyed and insists that she can handle serious training and lies that pearl is overestimating how fragile humans are. pearl believes this, since she doesnt know so much about how full humans work
  • steven quickly finds out that connie is pushing herself way too hard and hiding her physical pain from pearl. she tells steven to keep it secret or else the gems will look down on her. she blames herself for being “just a human” with none of the cool abilities steven has. steven understands bc he also often felt looked down upon for being weaker than the gems
  • the song is from connie’s point of view. pearl sings the training instructions; connie sings to herself about not being good enough. she’s the one that calls herself “just a human”, not pearl
  • steven doesnt know what to do. he goes to garn and ame for help. they freak out and tell him that pearl would want to know, that she’d be the most concerned of all of them because she personally knows what it’s like to push herself too hard
  • garnet describes how dangerously self sacrificing she was during the war and how long it took for pearl’s self-worth to recover. the backstory is shown not to say ‘oh wow poor pearl!!!’, or to say that poor mental health makes you hurt others. it’s shown to say that pearl knows what it’s like and wants connie to be safe.
  • steven rushes to tell pearl. she FREAKS and pulls connie aside to tell her how harmful that mindset is. that no one should see themselves solely as an asset to another. that she would never want connie to suffer how she did. and that pearl vowed to protect humans, not hurt them. 
  • there are still parallels between pearl/rose and steven/connie, but healthy ones. pearl says “rose never wanted me to do that to myself, and steven would never want that for you either.” not “oh hi im the Crazy Lesbian Stereotype and im harming you kids by being gay!! im gonna push my unhealthy lifestyle on you bc thats what we lesbians do!!”
  • pearls crush is still heavily alluded to, with pearl blushing while talking about rose and other lighthearted cute stuff. not “wow being gay made me hate myself! :)”
  • pearl gives a very explicit heavy moral about how those who love you also want you to love yourself. she then tells connie that she’ll only train her if connie is responsible and honest about her limits
  • there is no implication that pearl only is overprotective of steven bc he has rose’s gem, or that she sees him as her at all. it’s revealed through pearl’s delicacy with connie that she was overprotective of steven bc he’s half-human
  • maybe steven speaks up about feeling weaker than the gems. pearl says that he shouldn’t have to be physically strong, that she’s there to protect him. this resolves stevens earlier worries that she’s disappointed in how human he is, as shown in the healing tears ep.
  • the episode focuses on connie and her pain, not pearl
  • on that note..connie’s low self esteem wouldve been better established as being from bullying or w/e, not her strict parents, bc that plays into the tiger mom stereotype

If you think my love fades that quickly then you never knew me at all. I don’t give up on people but I know when to step back when the environment is unhealthy and give people time to work on themselves, while I do the same. I cannot ever count on us reconnecting, who knows, what’s meant to be won’t pass you. Trust life and go with it.

It’s mildly weird for me when people I don’t know send me messages like “but what does your husband think about what you do?”

Or to paraphrase more accurately the last five judgey messages I just scrolled past in my inbox, “Oh, you’re married…what does your husband think of what you do? I don’t imagine he’d be okay with it.”

Like, listen, if you think my husband, the person I opted to spend the rest of my life with till death us do part and even then only maybe if I do the ritual right, isn’t aware of who and what I am and the things that I do for fun and profit…then I’m sorry your marriage sucks. But don’t you take that out on me.

And it’s not like I’m imagining it either because the moment I say he’s fine with it, the tone goes from wary judgement to outright sneering contempt about how we clearly don’t take the sanctity of marriage seriously if i can “get away” with what I do and it’s like, I’m not the one lying to my partner/living in fear of his judgement??? Like ????? How am I the one in the unhealthy relationship here? And do you need help getting out, cause honestly I’m here if you need it.

Like I know a lot of romance readers started following me a while back and some of them have specific Tastes for their fiction but honestly miss me with that heteronormative bullshit and your toxic ideas about love and what constitutes a marriage. And excuse you for having the audacity to even think you’re in a place to comment on my relationship.

And for the record, ETD is not just fine with my work. He’s god dam proud of me. And I’m proud of me too.

So kindly, and with all due respect, get fucked.

considering str8 relationship memes are all abt “side hoe culture” and gay relationship memes are literally just “I love my gf” it’s wild how much the hets claim that OUR relationships are unhealthy… sorry The Gays actually care abt each other Chad maybe if u tried loving ur gf you could stop being bitter for like 20 seconds and appreciate her

10

Hello Katya! My name is Kay and I’m from Worcester, MA. I think I’m bisexual, and I think I use drag queens as a crutch to vent my sexual frustrations because the queens are all really men so it’s ‘okay’ to say, Oh that queen is really hot. My question is this: Do you think this is unhealthy? What do you recommend I do? I think RuPaul’s Drag Race has helped me come to my bisexuality realization more than ever before, somehow. Is this weird? I’d really love your input and help!!” (x)

- Katya Petrovna Zamolodchikova, Queen of Self-Acceptance & Sparkly Bisexual Thermometers

Here are my thoughts on mystic messenger V route.

People are complaining like “V and Rika are perfect” and “ don’t let V love MC” not to mention all the “soulmates” BS…..


Honestly if you notice all the “bad ends” are unhealthy relationships, throwing yourself at 707 even when he doesn’t want it, telling Zen his dreams and aspirations are childish and he shouldn’t be acting, telling Jumin he should give everything and his cat up for you, and feeding Yoosungs unhealthy obsession with Rika.

All of those bad ends are examples of unhealthy relationships, so honestly I don’t know why cheritz world leave V with an unhealthy ending before, maybe as an example? But all of you saying “he was her soul mate” and “ he would have Stayed no matter what because __________” I understand what he said….. I understand what you all think. But to be honest all you are doing is saying that this is okay.

I don’t care if it is a V route for MC, or a V route for Rika, I just hope it ends in a healthy relationship for V.

#NobadendforV and by this I mean, I want him to have just once end at least with a healthy relationship with someone…. An end where he isn’t in an abusive relationship, and an end where he is alive.

Her mental illness was no excuse for her to abuse him, just as it should be irl. This is coming from someone with mental illnesses, but also someone who had been in an abusive relationship.

If all of this was reversed, and V was a woman, Rika being a man you know you would be so upset about this. They are both mentally ill, they were in a TOXIC relationship. Please keep this in mind.