my little sister called it a place where retards and gays are

Attack on Titan is a TV show AU and this is the behind the scenes

“Hey, Jean’s sick? That’s cool, look I’ll be Jean!”

“Take off that horse mask, you look ridiculous.”

“So I can play Jean then?” 

“Armin? Armin? Guys, has anyone seen Armin, we’re shooting his almost-death scene!”

“Dude, you tell me! I’m looking for Eren, where has that little shit gotten to? It’s his goddamn ‘death’ scene too.”

“Guys, guys look what Annie’s doing, look, look she’s beating Reiner at arm-wrestling, hahah!”

“Where the hell is Sasha?”

“Did you check the buffet table? Because she usually hovers around there with Connie. Or they’re causing mischief on the set. You know what I found mashed inside the camera cap? Yeah, a fucking potato.”

“Someone sit Levi down, for god’s sake, we need to apply his makeup. Every fangirl out there can’t wait to see his dark, mysterious and brooding eyes and if he doesn’t sit down, we’re not gonna have time!”

“Hanji-Hanji wake up! Get up, you’re sleeping on a prop.”

“…..”

“Oh my god, you were cuddling our Colossal Titan prop, you’re such a weirdo.”

“Erwin? Erwin! Get your ass out of the men’s room!”

“I’m an old man, indulge me.”

“He’s trying to shit and the shit won’t come out.”

“Already in character, eh, Levi?”

“Shut up, you dick.”

“You make such a great Levi.”

“Holy shit, that prop scared the shit out of me!”

“I know right? It looks so legit! I’m scared, man…. Imagine how shitty living in Wall Maria was… gosh.”

“Hey Sasha, here you go! Your best friend!”

“Oh bite me, Jean, take back your stinking potato!”

“Ha ha ha, my name is Jean Kirschtein and this is Jackass.”

“You horsefucker!”

“Oh shit! Eren, Eren, Eren hey, you can’t kill me, not before I get to die on screen, oh god stop- oh thank god, it’s Mikasa. Mikasa protect me!”

“Aww, look how cute Mikasa and Annie are. Poor little girls, they’re pooped.”

“Of course they are, they spent all day jumping and rolling and doing all manners of stunts. Oh my god, look how they’re cuddling, how sweet!”

“Armin, focus! Stop taking selfies! You’re gonna spoil this episode for our viewers!”

“Oh my god, stop making out and posting it on Twitter, Ereri is NOT becoming canon, stop teasing the fangirls, Eren!”

“Marco, you scared the shit out of me! Geez…”

“Sorry, Jean, I thought  you’d think it was funny…”

“Your death scene is not funny…”

“Yo, Petra, check out the right side of my face…”

“Gah, this makeup blood is grossss, it’s sticky and smells weird. At least there’s no blood on you!”

“Hey, speak for yourself, I’m walking around with it in my mouth." 

"Ha, ask Franz how he feels, guys! You got off easy…”

“Or ask Carla!”

“….. TOO FAR." 

——————————————————————————————

Blooper Reel

Eren: 

"If you die, you lose! Duh, Mikasa, you dumb bitch! Wait, wait, is that my line?" 

"Oh crap, what was my line again?" 

"Levi-senpai!”

“Don’t drop that durka durk- hey Jean if you throw one more shoe I’m gonna beat you, just freaking beat you." 

"Armin… marry me! What are you talking about, that’s totally the line!”

“Sorry Mikasa, I only kill freestyle!" 

"On that day, humanity received a grim reminder. We lived in fear of these- Bertholdt, stop twerking up there or I’ll come up and push you off. Mr. Colossal Titan- oops, spoiler." 

Levi: 

"The difference in judgement between you and me originates from different rules derived from past experience. I’m basically saying you’re a little bitch.”

“All we can hope is that we made the right ones…. you done fucked up, Eren.”

“Hey Erwin. You enjoying writing your signature? You should really savor that, you know. Also eating without looking like a total retard or spaz…”

“They see me rolling! They hating!" 

"You spin me right round, baby, right rouuuund like a record baby, right round…" 

Mikasa:

"The world is a cruel place but it’s also…also… a line. I have a line here, I just know it!”

“Ah, shit! I just killed a Titan, yo, I’d like to see our so-called-protagonist Eren do the same! Any time now, Jaeger!”

“Dah dah dah dah dah dah duh duh dah dah duh duh duh JAEGER!”

“Eren! Eren! Eren! Is that enough? No, damn all my lines consist of Eren! Eren! Eren! Mikasa!" 

"Yo horse boy, just how much of you is a horse exactly?" 

Jean: 

"Ereeeeeeeen. I know your sister turns everyone on!" 

"Marcooooooooo. You half to come back to me before my heart splits in half, oh god, I’m such a monster." 

"Your hair is beautiful. I’m so horny. I’m so sorry, Mikasa.”

Connie: What did you wipe on my back? 

“……. my faith in huma- HAHAHAHA omg, I can’t say this, I’m tweeting this, gimme your phone…" 

"Marco… I can’t even tell… which bones are your- Marco, stop it! Director, tell him to stop making goofy faces at me from over there! This is serious, damnit!" 

Armin: 

"I don’t think anyone is good for everyone. Except me. I’m good for everyone. I’m also available, ladies." 

"Don’t watch it. Nothing good can come from anything with the word ‘Boku in it.' 

"Chocolate!" 

”People, who can’t throw something important away, can never hope to change anything. So Eren, you can throw away that tooth Levi  knocked out of  your face, because honestly that’s creepy!“ 

"I’m cute as heck, why the hell would you wanna eat me?”

“Poor Eren, thanks so much, I didn’t feel like getting eaten by Santa Claus today, byeeee, see ya later." 

"Right as Eren falls into the Titan’s mouth, I snapped a picture and posted it on Facebook "lol dying, later world!” and I’m posting it on his timeline, give me a sec…“

"Yo horsey, come here, this is for Instagram, we’re gonna play some gay chicken!" 

Erwin:

"I’m sorry, that was a strange thing to say…. Wanna get even stranger?" 

"ONWARD MY BITCHES!" 

"You are all my bitches now!”

“Welcome to candy land!" 

"You’re all gonna die, but it’s cool because you offer up your hearts!" 

"I can guarentee that if you’re an extra, you will die, so main characters only can join the Survey Corps!”

Hanji: 

“Oh my god, Titans, man. They turn me on." 

"Jizz in my pants… wait, can girls say that?" 

"That’s what she… he… it said. That’s what it said! Wait, Titans can’t talk…" 

"titans don’t defecate… geez, Levi, why so obsessed with poop? I bet you liked 'Two girls, one cup!’”

“Levi’s a little nympho, I called it!”

“Levi, selfie time! Erwin get your ass over here! Smile! Or Levi’s approximation of one." 

"Omg, marry me Sawney!" 

Connie: 

"I don’t know what’s going on…. does anyone know? Does anyone know? Seriously, get me one person who knows what the hell is going on, ever!" 

"I’m gonna spank you lat- bwahaha, can’t say that line with a straight face.”

“Armin, I’ll be your Mario, leap into my arms, Peach!" 

Sasha:

"Are you asking me why people eat potatoes? Oh snap, Sasha out!" 

 

*This is all lie and I know nothing. Every similarities with real life are written accidentally.*

3012 words…SFW

Oh,and sorry for some grammar mistakes. English is NOT my first language.

Enjoy! I guess :)

Something to look forward to

She got in her car a little too early for school so she can go to the nearest coffee shop and buy anything caffeinated to boost her up. It was her first day at this high school in LA and she wanted to be highly aware of everything so she can blend in quickly without every single person whispering ˝Check out the new girl.˝ or ˝Have you talked to her yet?˝when she walks down the hallways.

Hannah wasn’t the type of girl who wants to be popular or have a bunch of friends. Actually she just wants to go to this new school and meet someone she can hang out with beacuse all of her friends are back home(if she can call it ‘home’ anymore) in San Francisco.

So she starts her car, drives to this cute little coffee shop, buys herself some Iced Coffee with Milk and goes straight to school. When she arrived to school parking lot she realized she is just in time for her first period. Every parking space is already taken besides this one near the, what she assumes is cafeteria. Hannah also realises that there is some expensive car aproaching and she can lose her parking space so she blissfully nods to no one in particular and steps on pedal.

She did it! She parked her car and proudly smirked in triumph stepping outside and grabbing her backpack. When she put on her sunglasses she saw three tall girls furiously stepping out of their car starting to march towards her. Hannah, already starting to feel annoyed by knowing what is about to happen, leant against her car taking her position to defend herself and if it’s also necessary her car.

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