my little boy now a big big boy

My beautiful ocean boy

“Mama do you always look at the ocean?” A little boy no older then six asked as he climbed onto his mothers lap.
She smiled down at him running her fingers through his short brown hair. She had been sitting by the window for almost an hour now.
“Because it reminds me of someone I love very much.”
The little boy seemed confused “if you love him so much why do look so sad?”
She sighed softly “because I lost him and I pray every day he will come home.”
“Who is he mama?” He asked.
“He’s your big brother Lance.”
The boy tilted his head to the side “but I don’t have a big brother…”
She chuckled softly, “yes you do my baby. And he’ll come home some day and you’ll be able to meet him. My beautiful ocean boy.”

———————————————-Part 2:

This is Eddie.

Eddie is a wild boy that wondered into my boyfriend’s garden and proclaimed it as his. So, now he has his own little fenced space where he lives happily, munching his clovers and dandelions.

He likes to take walks around our big yard, like a king exploring his little kingdom. I’m not sure about his age - we’ve ben told he’s about 15, but I think he might be much older. Look at what has that beautiful shell been through!

He’s a Testudo Hermanni, and currently we’re looking for a girl for our big boy! ^_^ ❤


HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY, JOHNNY DEPP! This is a momentous day and I just wanna say thank you for all things you’ve done, for all your films and characters. You’re my life, love and inspiration. You made me better and I’m very grateful to you for it. I don’t even imagine my life without you.

PROMPT: Couldn’t get a babysitter and had to bring my kid on this blind date AU (Link to prompt: here)

- His friend and coworker, Lily Potter, was begging to set Remus up on a blind date ever since they met.

- But Remus kept putting it off saying that he had too much marking to do and had to look after his son, Teddy.

- Both he and Lily were teachers at a prestigious private school in Cornwall, England.

- They both had gotten on like a house on fire since the moment they met.

- Lily always invited Remus and Teddy around for dinner at the Potters where Remus met James and Harry and became great friends with the both of them.

- They always wanted to set him up with their friend and Harry’s god father, Sirius, but their schedules never met up when Remus came around so they never had chance to meet.

- But that was just fine for Remus.

- Truth be told, he just wasn’t ready for a relationship, and he didn’t want to confuse Teddy by bringing another man into his life.

- He already had two mums. Two dads would just be extensive.

- Especially if it didn’t work out.

- Tonks and Fleur have been Remus’ best friends since his early twenties and asked him to be the father of their child when he was 23.

- He was reluctant at first because they were all so young, and even though he wanted his friends to be happy with a family, he always wanted his first child to be *his* child and not just be a donor for somebody else. 

- When he brought up his concerns to them, they just laughed.

- “Remus, do you seriously think we’d ask you to be the donor and not the father? Of course you’re going to be involved! We’re a family after all.”

- Five years after that encounter found Remus at home in a small cottage down the road from Tonks and Fleur, looking after Teddy whilst they were away for the weekend.

- Teddy, who was now four years old, was sat at a small table in the living room drawing a picture of his family whilst Remus sat with him marking some papers.

- “That’s a lovely drawing there, Teds!” Remus smiled over to his son. “Whose this person stood next to me?”

- Teddy beamed up to him. 

- “Thats Mr Question-mark!” he answered. “It’s gonna be my other Daddy when I finally gets to meet him!” 

- Remus heart broke a little, but was also soaring.

- This cute little pumpkin. 

- His phone started vibrating on the table destroying the peace. 

- “Hello?”

- “Remus! I’ve had enough. I’ve set you up on a blind date tonight with my friend Sirius. No more excuses, you’re going!”

- Remus sighed. The woman would not take a hint.

- “Lily, I can’t. I have Teddy tonight, and Fleur and Tonks are away for the weekend with no one to look after him. I won’t be able to get a sitter so late on a Saturday night.”

- “I can look after myself, Daddy!” Teddy piped up. “I’m a big boy now! I at big boy school!”

- Remus cooed slightly to himself. 

- Damn, his kid was adorable. 

- “No, Teds sweetie, you can’t look after yourself just yet. You got to stick with Daddy, okay?”

- “Oh, okay!” He gave a toothy grin and went back to his drawing.

- “Bring Teddy with you! Sirius wouldn’t mind, he loves kids!”

- “No, Lily, I’m not bringing Teddy on a blind date with someone I’ve never met before.”

- Teddy’s little face snapped back up to him.

- “Oooh! I want to go with Daddy! Pluease, Pluease, Plueaseee!”

- Remus sighed heavily. This was not how he wanted to spend his Saturday night.

- “See,Ted’s is up for it. Come on Remus, it’s about time. Meet Sirius at Wacky Warehouse at 5pm. You won’t regret it, I swear.”

- He scrunched his face up.

- “I’m sorry. Where?”

- “You heard, just do it. Have a great night, Remus!” 

- Lily rung off, leaving Remus to sit there in an utterly confused state.

- Why the hell would anyone go to a Wacky Warehouse for a blind date? 

- What was Lily Potter playing at?

- Looking at the clock, he saw it was already 3:30pm. 

- It was a half an hour drive to the place, so he told Teddy to go and get himself ready to go.

- Teddy was thrilled and ran up the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him and got changed into little jeans and a batman lego shirt.

- Remus was hmming and ahhing about what he should wear, but settled on a pair of dark jeans and light green jumper over a crisp white shirt. 

- He quickly sent a message off to Lily cursing her, and telling her what he was wearing so this ‘Sirius’ could find him easily.

- Then they were in the car and on the way to the place Lily told them to go.

- The place was packed out with children running wild and parents looking disgruntled. 

- Why anyone would come on a date here was beside him.

- Then he felt a soft little tap on his shoulder and turned around.

- In front of him stood the most handsomest man Remus has ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on.

- His eye’s were bright and silver, his smile gleaming at him. He had several piercings in his ears, and a tattoo that showed slightly under his plain white t-shirt near his collar bone that looked like an antler. 

- This man was an adonis.

- God, he hoped he was Sirius.

- “Hi. Are you Remus by any chance?”

- Jeez, why did he wear a sweater? It was far too hot in here right now.

- “Erm, yes? Yes, hi. I’m Remus. Err … Sirius?”

- The man nodded and smiled widely at him.

- Remus could not stop blushing. 

- He felt a little tug on his hand and looked down to see Teddy hiding slightly behind his legs, looking up at Sirius.

- “Daddy? Is this Mr Question-mark?”

- Remus’ eyes budged out of his head. 

- “No, Teds. This is Lily and Prongs’ friend, Sirius!” He smiled at his son.

- “Oh, and this is Teddy. I’m really sorry, I didn’t have a babysitter…”

- “It’s not a problem, I have Harry here with me anyway!” He smiled down to his side.

- Remus finally noticed the little boy holding Sirius hand grinning largely up at Remus.

- “Hi Moony! Hi Teddy!” He smiled. 

- Of course this is why Lily set them up on a blind date, so they could be the babysitters for the evening

- Remus laughed to himself.

- “Hi there, Harry!” He smiled at the boy then back up at Sirius.

- “So I take it our ‘blind date’ is ‘Lily and James wanted a night off’ play date?”  

- Sirius grinned and rolled his eyes.

- “Could they be anymore obvious? I guess it worked out nicely for me though, Moony.” He winked.

- Sirius knelt down so he was on the same height level as Teddy and Harry.

- “Hi there, Teddy. My names Sirius.” He said gently, holding his hand out for Teddy to shake.

- Teddy eyed it then back up to him.

- “Like the dog star?” 

- Sirius beamed whilst Teddy took a hold of his hand.

- “Yeah, exactly! You’re very smart, Teddy.”

- Teddy’s shy demeanour sudden changed after the compliment.

- “Daddy says I’m very smart, too! I’m four years old!” He said, proudly showing Sirius his age using his fingers. 

- Sirius giggled.

- “Four! Wow! That’s a good age to be! Do you know how old Harry is?” 

- “Erm…” He mumbled looking down at his fingers. 

- “Five!” He smiled showing his hand to them. 

- “Yeah! Padfoot, I’m five!” Harry joined in, showing his hand too.

- Sirius put his hands on his cheeks and feigned surprise and gasped

- “Wow! We’ve got two clever little boys here, don’t we, Moony?” 

- Sirius smiled up to Remus who was still stood looking down at the adorable display.

- God, he was just G O N E.

- He couldn’t even find his voice to reply, so just sheepishly nodded. 

- “Hey Harry, why don’t you and Teds go into the play area for a bit whilst me and Moony go and find us a table so we can get some food, yeah? Make sure you stick together though.” 

- “Yeah!” The boys cheered, running toward the entrance of the play area.

- Standing back up, he rubbed the back of his neck and smiled nervously at Remus.

- “So, you want to get a table and tell me why you’re called Moony?”

- “Only if you tell me why you’re called Padfoot?” he quipped.

- They shared a private smile and wandered over to a small booth that would fit them all and ordered some soft drinks.

- The date went surprisingly well.

- Both Teddy and Harry were on their best behaviour and ate their chicken nuggets and chips nicely.

- Remus learnt that Sirius was best friends with James Potter since they were 11 years old, and became his adopted brother officially at the age of 16. He owned his own auto mechanics shop, loved to paint and look after Harry in his spare time.

- Padfoot was a nickname that James gave to him whilst they were in high school because he always said Sirius resembled a puppy because he was very hyperactive and it was fitting as he was named after the dog star.

- Sirius learnt that Remus was an English teacher at Lily’s school and knew the Potters for nearly 5 years, loved to write in his spare time and how he had actually been talking to a publisher about publishing a few children stories he wrote for Teddy.

- Moony was his nickname because back when he was in high school he was obsessed with space, the moon and astronomy, so much so that on his 18th birthday he got the moon cycle tattooed on his forearm, which he begrudgingly showed to Sirius who traced his fingers slowly along it, sending goosebumps up and down Remus’ spine. 

- Sometime during the date, Remus didn’t know when, he and Sirius started holding hands across the table.

- Sirius kept playing with his fingers whilst they flirted softly as they were in front of the kids they didn’t want to be inappropriate.

- Around 8 o’clock, the Wacky Warehouse announced they were closing and they had to leave. 

- Teddy had gotten very tired and had curl himself up around Remus’ neck and fallen asleep.

- Harry was still awake, but it didn’t look like he would be for long.

- Reluctantly, they left the place and started walking back to their respective car’s. 

- “Can we do this again some time, Remus?” Sirius asked, hand placed on Remus’ lower back whilst the other was holding Harry’s hand who was sleepily rubbing his eyes.

- “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. A lot.” He smiled.

- “I can’t believe I put this off for so long, Sirius. It’s just, with Teddy its hard meeting someone who … yano, want’s to deal with a young child being involved.” 

- Sirius beamed, ruffling Teddy’s hair gently as not to wake him.

- “I understand. But I really like you Remus, and Teddy is such a sweet kid. I’d really like to take you on a second date. One that we’re both a little more prepared for.” 

- Remus let out a breathy laugh.

- “I’d like that too. Maybe next time, James and Lily will take the boys for the night.” 

- “Oh trust me, they will.” Sirius smiled, pulling his phone out. 

- “Is it okay if we exchange numbers? So we can organise something ourselves?”

- “Yes! I mean … yeah, yes. Of course. sure.”

- ‘Smooth, way to not seem over eager.’ Remus winced, but Sirius was too happy to notice.

- “Paddddds, I’m tiredd.” Harry whined, pulling on his arm.

- “Okay, buddy, let me just get Moony’s number and we’ll go home okays?”

- They exchanged numbers and Sirius softly left a kiss on Remus’ cheek.

- “I’ll text you soon, Moons. Goodnight.” He smiled, walking away to his car with Harry in hand.

- Remus couldn’t help but watch them walk away, grounded to the spot.

- “Daddy?” A sleepy voice came from his shoulder.

- “Yeah sweetie?” He kissed Teddy’s forehead and nuzzled his hair.

- “Are you and Paddy gonna end up in love, and gonna live together like Mummy and Momie? Cause I’d like if Paddy was my other Daddy.” 

- Remus let out a breathy laugh.

- “Would you now? Well … I guess we’ll see, won’t we, sweetie?”

- Teddy yawn deeply and snuggled back into Remus’ neck.

- “I told you I’d meet Mr Question-mark one day.”

- Once they got back home, Remus had tucked Teddy into bed with one of his own stories. 

- He walked into the small kitchen to make himself a cup of tea when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

- ‘Thank you for a wonderful night, Moony. I’m really looking forward to our next date. I’ll get Lily and James to babysit Teddy next time, the Potters owe us ;). Though if I’m honest right now, I think I owe them so much more. Sleep well, Moony :) <3 xx’

- Yeah, Remus thought to himself, I think he might be Mr Question-mark, Ted’s.

anonymous asked:

How would you feel about a son that grows by sucking on his daddy's nips?

“Climb up on daddy’s lap boy, get up here, yeah I know you can’t even see daddy’s face past this shelf of pecs hanging so far over you, looming so goddamned big..feel those pecs, how heavy they are. Try to just lift em, move a bit, you can’t can you? go on, slug em, I know you want to. Yeah, solid. Fucking. Muscle. Yeah they’re growing big. SO goddamned big. It’s ok, don’t be embarrassed, I can see your lil stiffy getting harder for daddy’s great big meaty fucking wall of pecs. God, you can feel me GROWING underneath you now can’t ya? 

God go on, bury your face between those pecs, feel daddy flex and squeeze em, I could break your little nose with just a slight FLEX you know that right? god the POWER in my fucking body is AMAZING isn’t it? that’s why I can feel your stiff lil dick pushing against my big thick abs. Go on, you can grind away boy, now feel around, see at the base of those monstrous pecs, see those nips as big as your little thumb, go on you know what to do.

OHhh fuck..yes that mouth wrapped around it, daddy’s got such big fucking pecs FULL of protein for a big growing boy like you, yeah. YOu can feel it now can’t you? every single mouthful your body getting hotter, ohh I can feel your dick growing against my roidgut boy. Hearing the fabric ripping as you start to grow. No. NO. don’t you pull away. Force your face up against that fucking meaty pec and make you swallow. GROW for daddy boy. I’m tired of you being so fucking small.

GROW for me, there you go, that’s it, bigger boy Ohh fuck you’re getting so heavy, that muscled ass resting against daddy’s thighs pushing my great big cock down as you keep growing, swelling against my arms, Look at that little chest of yours ripping outta your tshirt. Good. That’s what I wanna see. Fuck so smooth, so lean and thick, daddy’s so proud boy! keep getting bigger…god yes You’re not done til daddy says so! BIGGER…BIGGER.

Dreamer by Tom Felton

So off the clouds of Nova Scotia
I’ve been flying trying to photograph my face for posters
I’ve been sailing further from family lately
driving me crazy or maybe that’s just me 

Tangled up I’m in my own web
It’s been 16 days at least since I’ve seen my own bed
I’ve been chasing dreams & sleeping less & less 
My mom said I need to relax & be back for cups of tea
She asks me 

Boy how’d you dream so big
When you hardly sleep at all
Boy how’d you dream so big 
When you hardly sleep at all
Boy how’d you dream so big 
when those eyelids rarely close
I don’t know mom we’ll find out I suppose 

 "Well I don’t know What my friend You know what" 

Dress in fancy clothes sounds fun
I’ll admit I even smiled a little bit in round one
But now I’m searching for a purpose 
And I haven’t found one 
Driving me crazy or maybe that’s just me 
Seem to disappear in my own mind
fingers in my ears holding out for gold & sunshine
sometimes wondering why I just can’t seem to stop time
find me a lady, have a baby or maybe 3 gee 

Boy how’d you dream so big
when you hardly sleep at all
Boy how’d you dream so big 
when you hardly sleep at all 
Boy how’d you dream so big 
when those eyelids rarely shut 
I don’t know my friend but I don’t really give a…

 "There’s crazy laughter out there"

Thank you, fashfind, for submitting it!


Here’s the complete trilogy of my little series I did recently, “Little Ladies and their Big Bad Boys”. Featuring fairytale/nursery rhyme pinup girls and their greaser boyfriends, we have: Little Red Riding Hood, Little Bo Peep, and Little Miss Muffet. Thought up little names for the dudes, too - Jack (wolf), Billy Gruff (sheep), and Itsy (spider). I had a ton of fun with these. I’ve been meaning to do rockabilly and 50s retro style stuff for a long time now. I just love that stuff.

notes: i think everyone in the ih fandom supports big brother kazui

disclaimer: disclaimed

Ichigo comes home to the smell of dinner, baby powder and cleaning wipes. 

Oh, and a pouting eight year old. 

Keep reading

There’s an age gap between him and his little sister (EXO)

Ranging from toddler to late teens

Xiumin: -what older brother would want to supervise his younger sister’s first date but his main focus was on her dates hands the way they would slid close to her butt. He would walk up and quickly knock the date’s hand away getting in his face- “your both 15 years old and I expect you to know how to properly act when you’re with a women”

Suho: -his mother mentioned how his 5 year old sister wasn’t acting her age. She didn’t play, draw, or watch cartoons and it worried their mother. He quickly bought cute little things to peak her interest which it slowly was- “I guess Mr.Bear and I will be leaving then. But I think he needs a sweet little girls love”

Lay: -watching the little sister who was an infant when he left to become something big. His eyes went wide when during an interview they brought up a picture of the small girl who was roughly 7 in her little school gear for the first day of school this year and he need a moment- “she’s getting too big. I miss seeing her grow up but our mother sends me many pictures of her so I can keep up with her. Soon enough I’ll have to watch out with boys and be scary big brother”

Baekhyun: -he just watched as Chanyeol flirted with his now legal sister, the mindless flirting from them both. What brother would want to watch a boy his age flirt with his little sister, who had no experience with men yet. He felt like Chanyeol would treat her right but the nagging in his head about beating up anyone who flirted with his sister- “why would Chanyeol want to date my sister?”

Chen:  -what 2 year old wouldn’t want to cuddle their goofy big brother. When Jongdae came home to find out the little Kim wanted nothing to do with his love he got goofy trying to get her to do just that- “come on sweetie I came over to see you. I want to cuddle you’re getting so big and I won’t get the chance soon”

Chanyeol: -homecoming was the night he never wanted to see it happen but he couldn’t stop the fact his little sister wasn’t going to be little anymore. She looked amazing in her dress and the way her date nervously slid the corsage onto her wrist as she giggled about his sweating hands and how they weren’t needed. He couldn’t help but smile at the them maybe he could like this guy- *gif*

D.O: -he never expected to be waiting to see if his baby sister would wake up from a car accident, he understood how it was to have older friends but he never wanted her to have legal friends who could drink and cause trouble. Now all he could do was wait til the second she wakes up and he could check on her- “you need to be fine, you’re too young to have to deal with this”

Kai: -he was amazed how much she matured since the last time he saw her. Puberty hit and his little sister was growing into a young woman, it was also very scary because he’d have to up his big brother game more than he was planning- “I like how you’re growing up but slow down, I’m not ready to kill any guy who tries to flirt with you”

Sehun: -it was scary he was old enough to be his baby sister’s dad, but he loved the little 4 year old with all his heart. His mother would send him her cute little drawings, they consisted of him and her. The crude drawings melted his heart and he’d always hold them close- “my gosh can she make things anymore precious”  

Over a year ago I was looking for a kids book for my niblings about gender and I couldn’t find one so I decided to write my own and (it’s not done!!! genderfluid people I haven’t forgotten about you) I forgot about until now!

Some babies are girls and some babies are boys
But every baby loves playing with toys

When babies grow up, so big and so tall
Some grown ups aren’t boys or girls at all!

Some big kids and little kids get constantly told
To act like boys or girls before they get old!

Sometimes grown ups make big, big mistakes!
And tell little babies who to be at a young age!

No matter your parts or who you are inside
You can wear what you want and you don’t have to hide!

speedkitte  asked:

u should do 1.0 and/or 2.0 nik?


First Impression: I used to love Nik, like he was my fav character and shit he is so good

Impression Now: Sad big boy. but still good big boy who says dumb shit and makes bad choices??

Favorite Moment: “Little Nikki are you okay?! ‘Yes, Papa!’”

Idea for a story: Nikolai opening up to the others about his real love for his wife?? and their daughter and everything??

Unpopular Opinion: kinda really gross

Favorite Relationship: Takeo and Nikolai. They bicker like an old couple and it just cracks me up.



First Impression: Boring


Favorite Moment: when he shot his older self and was so upset and takeo like? comforted him? good


Unpopular Opinion: i kinda miss the broken english :/

Favorite Relationship: TAKEO AND NIKOLAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Favorite Headcannon: Nikolai being super nice to Takeo after Zetsubou and just generally caring for Tank since hes the babby of the group?

Hey None of That Now (T.O.P)

Type: Fluff

Request: Ohhhhh baby mood!!!! Can I have a lovely t.o.p dealing with his twins!!

Summary:  Mini T.O.P’s in training already causing trouble 

Chulmoo and Haneul his twin sons are very important to him. But they were both constantly in need of attention or supervision, today you need a break from the loud 2 year olds and Seunghyun gladly said he would take them. Downside is if one gets something the other one had to get the same thing. So Seunghyun picked up Chulmoo and Haneul began to pout. It made Seunghyun sigh and pick up the other. 

They managed to get to YG with pretty much no problem, he soon put the twins down onto the ground and they took off running around the large lobby before Seunghyun had to chase them around. “Come back here right now” he said as he caught one holding him like a football while he went to get the other one. “Haneul come here now or appa will leave you here and won’t tell you were he’s going” Seunghyun demanded making the young boy stop and pout once more and walk up to his dad. 

“Down appa” Chulmoo whined as Seunghyun kept him under his arm as they made their way to the elevator he hit the button “I don’t wanna go on it” Haneul said scared of the elevator “the recording room is way up there buddy” he told his son as he picked up the little boy burring his face into his father’s neck. The next few minutes were peaceful as the elevator dinged letting them all off and he made his way to the room they had to be in. “Hey” Jiyong said noticing the awkward situation Seunghyun was in “you ok there?” Seungri asked noticing the tired look on his hyung’s face. “I don’t know how she does this everyday” he said putting the little boys down onto the ground and they took off to their uncles.

“I can take them at home but public, there’s so much more places they can run off to” Seunghyun said sitting down onto the couch burring his face into his hands for a second “appa” Chulmoo said. Seunghyun looked up at him “yes buddy” he said “hi” he said with a smirk as he climbs up onto his father’s lap “hello” he says with a smile before another little body pushes against him. “They’re so jealous aren’t they?” Jiyong asked taking a picture of the 3 “they’re my children. I get jealous when they spend too much time with their mother than me” Seunghyun tells them. “Phone?” Haneul asks as Seunghyun sits awkwardly and pulls his phone out which now had multiple kid games on it now.

“No give me” Chulmoo said trying to grab the phone from his twin “no” Haneul shot back clutching the phone. Chulmoo tried to climb off of his dad’s lap before a phone was given to him by Daesung as the small boy smiled happily clicking on an app. “I downloaded games after the last visit over” Daesung told him “thank you, you just saved my phone” Seunghyun said laughing as he put the little boy beside his twin.

the signs as drew monson instagram captions
  • Aries: Don't forget that I am the Tina. It is me you are gazing at in delight as you binge through your life of nothing. Will I murder you? No. Will I murder myself? Sexually. Disgusting how many of you failed to realize that I am and have always been, the all powerful T-Bird. Bow down. But before you do, take off your ass. Put it in the stove so it will be warm when I die on the floor. Chocolate milk cartons but the milk has been replaced with the stuff that comes out of blackheads. The children are crying because all they wanted was their cocoa syrup. Little assholes. Gigantic assholes. Family. Friends. Chandler. Monica. Tina.
  • Taurus: I am king of the castle. I will look at my balls and fall into a hole of dead fucking birds. I can't believe my horse kisses my shoulder in the rain. Randy? Yes, I'm home. Finding Nemo 2 is gonna suck. You can't nail it twice.
  • Gemini: Happy Bithday from Ellen. Polish the tits once a day. Always be nice to old person if they dick big. Show your dad a picture of his ass and call it a present. The truth is that Dad Ass is priceless. Nobody will die with a true appreciation of #DadAss. Big nipple snaps.
  • Cancer: I am so worried about how people think of me. Often I'll find myself thinking, what if my body is too much? Do muscles have a limit? Can an ass exceed limitations? Become dangerous? This morning your father told me something incredibly important: He said "You are so cute lol." It's things like this that keep me going. Yes, I am an entertainer. But I am also a tree. I literally have branches. That's so fucked up that there are leaves in your dick. Gerard Butler. Saltine sleeves. Jeffrey.
  • Leo: I'm so happy to be pretty for you. I guess I'm a little baby aren't I? Walking around in the forest and screaming about pancake asses. Such a bad little goblin while I take off my little salad pants. When you brush your teeth, think about how your body will sag one day but your teeth won't, they will just fall off and then you will die so much. Tag any of your friends you think would be interested in going on a date with me wearing this gorgeous outfit.
  • Virgo: I am a very beautiful bird. I fly into your bathroom as you are flicking pieces of mud off of Harry Potter Blu-Rays. Walking on the beach feels like wafting into my Tit Scent. California is the place to be for people who like licking other people's hands. I'm probably going to die while watching something on VH1. That sounds like some shit I would do. Salmon Ham Choo Choo man, he's home and ready to sprinkle.
  • Libra: A lot of people were wondering what happened with the log. The log has died. The log is a bowl of fries waiting for you at my funeral, baby. The log is mom. The log is a pig at the market. I can take the log under my arms and show you how to fuck Actual Oatmeal. Actual Oatmeal Bruce Willis. Little snack. Ariana Grande is on my mind. Just kidding. I gave up on her. You watch that show Hannibal? What the fuck. That guy is twisted for sure. Pop culture. Think about someone you hate. Now think about them in a fedora. Not so bad, huh? No. Worse. Dicks. Stop it. Melon.
  • Scorpio: It feels very good to be a beautiful big boy. I will heal you with my passionate breast glances while you snack on a VHS tape of your own birth. I will never die. Can you take a look at my body as you wash my Myspace password into the ocean? Little dicks with a mustache. I really will never die. I don't care who punches my Meat Boys. Who wants to see a fucked up ass? Everyone.
  • Sagittarius: The big nerd loves those tits. And an ass to boot! Wow. We can often find the time to appreciate a beautiful pair of Salty Ass Crowns. Going to the grocery store with my wife is crazy! We can never decide on which bird to kill. I'm disgusted by friendship. Why will no one look at John Stamos while he shaves his hairy hole? Hairy hole. Little princess girl with a snack.
  • Capricorn: I am so happy to be your perfect beauty. I will listen to Rihanna's music from 2007 while I bathe your prickly feet. You smell like sand as I push you off the top of a dick. Dragons exist, they are just living inside of the elderly. You say you love animals? Then go ahead and cut grandpa open. Fucked up to leave something so gorgeous trapped inside of a wrinkle cage. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna cry. A group of pubic shaving bumps organized their own Easter egg hunt in February because they have no concept of time but came pretty close anyway.
  • Aquarius: What color is the dress. Is it Foreskin? Is it Violin? I showed it to my mom and she told me that my entire family is immortal. I am so excited about this Dress! Hey grandpa, I love your blog. Hey sandcock, I ate your elementary school. The dress is important. The dress died. The dress is not a distraction. Go check your closet. The dress is in there. And your dad is holding on so tightly. He just wants to talk.
  • Pisces: Take down your Friday Pants and get ready for content. Diet Coke hanging off your mustache. Die, it coke. How did she die? She did coke. Stay away from drugs, except for love. That's what Kevin Jonas has taught me. I am so disgusting because of my Problematic Boobs. Jeffrey. Cat dick. Google what a turtle's dick looks like. It's fucked up. If you can't find it I'll show you one at the library.

[2/11]   “I do have that other one in the high rise hotel, doing it against the window.”

Alphabet Boy
Melanie Martinez
Alphabet Boy

Alphabet Boy

You’re always aiming paper airplanes at me when you’re around.

You build me up like building blocks just so you can break me down

You can crush my candy cane but you’ll never catch me cry

If you didn’t go back to home and I tag you don’t be surprised.

I know my ABC’s yet you keep teaching me

I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy

You think you’re smarter than me with all your bad poetry

Fuck all your ABC’s, alphabet boy

I’m not a little kid now.

Watch me get big now.

Spell my name on the fridge now

With all your alphabet toys

You want a spelling bee now?

With all “You’re smarter than me" now?

You’re the prince of the playground.

Little, alphabet boy.

Apples aren’t an always appropriate apology

Butterscotch and bubblegum drops are bittersweet to me.

Don’t call me a child while you keep counting all your coins.

Well you’re not my daddy and I’m not your dolly.

And you’re dictionary’s distorted.  

I know my ABC’s yet you keep teaching me

I say, fuck your degree, alphabet boy

You think you’re smarter than me with all your bad poetry

Fuck all your ABC’s, alphabet boy

I’m not a little kid now.

Watch me get big now.

Spell my name on the fridge now

With all your alphabet toys

You want a spelling bee now?

With all “You’re smarter than me" now?

You’re the prince of the playground.

Little, alphabet boy.

Alphabet Boy.

My alphabet Boy.

I’m not a little kid now.

Watch me get big now.

Spell my name on the fridge now

With all your alphabet toys

You want a spelling bee now?

With all “You’re smarter than me" now?

You’re the prince of the playground.

Little, alphabet boy.


I came out as trans to my little brothers (7 & 9; will refer to them by age instead of names for privacy reasons). Here are some highlights.

Me: “I feel like a boy. That’s what I’m comfortable with.”
Mom: “And he looks like a boy, too.”
7: “And you sound like a boy!”

Me: “So how do you feel about having a big brother?”
9: “It’s good.”
7: “Now I have two big brothers!”

Me: “Since you’re so used to it, it’s ok for you to still call me [old name], but I would really like it if you tried to call me Landon sometimes.”
7 & 9: *perfectly used my preferred name and haven’t misgendered me yet*

7 & 9: *seriously didn’t give a damn and even had to be pushed a bit to participate in the conversation, were not surprised, didn’t have questions, were just super cool with it because it’s actually not that big a deal*

7: *actually went out of his way to use my name and pronouns*

9: *acting like nothing has changed, which is kinda true*

In conclusion. That wasn’t a big deal really, and I can now exist and feel okay and be okay and be myself at home and with my family now and I’m very happy and this is just a relief ok.


Context: It’s Robert & Aaron’s wedding day and Chas & Aaron have one last conversation before Robert makes an honest man of him.

He’d spent the past two hours getting ready, getting dressed usually only took him ten minutes’ tops but today he wanted everything to go without a hitch. He stood in their bedroom, which had only been slept him by him the night before, he’d never thought of Robert or himself as traditionalists but they’d decided to spend the night before their wedding apart.

Aaron had just finished styling his hair, he had put on only a small amount of gel as he knew Robert loved his natural curls and he wanted to look the best he could be knowing how incredible Robert would look. He was giving himself one last check in the mirror, smartened out his navy-blue suit but he couldn’t get his tie to go right, whenever it tried it always looked wrong each time, just as he was about to give in there was a knock on his bedroom door.

“Come in.” He called, once again his suit in the mirror. Then in the corner of his eye he spotted Chas in the reflection, smiling away at him.

“Wow,” Aaron started, turning around to face her, “You look amazing.” He smiled. Chas was wearing a really beautiful, flattering dress, her hair and make-up done in a very classy style and a beaming smile spread across her face.

“So do you,” She said gently, walking over to him, “Very handsome.”

“Mum?” Aaron asked,

“Yes sweetheart?” Chas replied, she was prepared for him to say anything, not that she expected it though but if so, she’d help him regardless, whether he was nervous or scared or worried, she’d be there, having said that the following words were a relief,

“Will you help me with this?” He smiled handing her the tie, causing Chas to let out a breath of amusement.

“Of course I can, come here,” She said as he walked towards her so he was right in front of her, allowing her to start tying the knot. For a moment, they stood in silence before Chas began to speak,

“I remember, when you were a little boy, must’ve been about 4 or 5, it was your first day at school and you had that tiny little clip-on tie thingy, you were so ready to get to school, to be a big boy,” This caused Aaron to smile, he could easily imagine him being like that when he was little, “But when I came in your room to get you so I could take you, you’d done up your laces, had your bag packed and ready to go but you looked up at me with those big blue eyes of yours and asked for my help putting it on, “Big boys don’t need to know how to do ties” you said - which goes to show doesn’t it?” She smiled, finishing what she was doing and straightening out his suit for him.

“Show what?” He smirked with a confused look appearing on his face.

“No matter what you do, where you go, or if you’re married or not,” She paused and placed her hand on his cheek, “You’re my little boy, and nothing will ever change that, yeah?”

Aaron could now see the tears forming in her eyes.

“Yeah.” He replied, his voice breaking from trying to hold back his tears.

“Come on then,” She said, taking a breath in and wiping away the tear that had fallen from her eye, “Let’s get you married.”

As she said this she turned to leave his room, giving him one last moment to be on his own before the ceremony when she heard that voice. The same voice that she could still remember its first word or that would sing daft little songs running around the living room as a toddler, or the little boy raving on about football and fossils, the stroppy teenager who’d always have a reply for everything and the man who was bravest person she had ever met, her boy, her son.

“Mum?” Aaron had said, causing her once again to turn around with a soft smile on her face,

“Yes love?”

“I’m not letting you down am I?” He looked up at her, anticipating her reply.

“You break my heart sometimes you know that,” She said pulling him in for a hug, “Don’t ever think that okay, of course you’re not letting me down, you’re marrying the man you love, what more could I ask for you than that?”

“I dunno,” He replied pulling away from the hug, “it’s just, I worry about it sometimes, you’re not exactly his biggest fan.”

“He makes you happy, happier than I’ve ever seen you before, and to me nothing else matters than that, okay?”

“Okay.” Aaron smiled, giving a nod of his head.

“Plus, he’s not all that bad, is he?” she laughed, “But don’t tell him, I’ve got a representation to keep up.” She winked, causing Aaron to laugh gently before he continued,

“I love you, you know.”

“I love you too son, and I’m so proud of you,” They both looked at each other with a smile on their face, both holding back their tears, “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Aaron whispered, grinning widely, a sight that caused Chas to feel an overwhelming sense of happiness.

“Come on then, let’s go.” She whispered before leaving his room and heading downstairs to wait with Liv.