my life: as described by others

@seamlesslines tagged me to do this, dziękuje bardzo!!

Rules: go to the largest playlist you have, put on shuffle and answer the questions with songs you get.

1. This song describes your personality:
echo & the bunnymen - do it clean (okay i guess??)

2. This song describes what you want/wish from your life:
the smiths - i want the one i can’t have (://////////)

3. This song describes how other people perceive you:
Bauhaus - Bela Lugosi’s Dead (i’m that goth??)

4. This song describes the love of your life:
kate bush - hammer horror (idk what that means but i love that string section so okay)

5. This song describes your life at this moment:
the dead weather - will there be enough water? (aye my life is a sad delta blues song)

6. The song to make love to:
depeche mode - dangerous (INTO THIS)

7. The song to dance your heart out:
the soft boys - old pervert (i mean, you could try)

8. The song that will make you cry:
bauhaus - all we ever wanted was everything (been there)

9. The song about your future:
R.E.M. - star me kitten (??)

10. The last song you will ever hear in your life

david bowie - god knows i’m good

11. This song describes who you will be in your next life:
the smashing pumpkins - cupid de locke (aww)

12. The song that makes you feel better:
depeche mode - policy of truth (yesssss)

13. You end up listening to just one song for the rest of your life, and this is it:
morrissey - little man, what now? (the drums would make me crazy)


as always everyone is welcome to do this and tag it for me to see!

@bowiepop tagged me yesterday and i remembered about it 5 minutes ago. jestem frajerem

Rules: go to the largest playlist you have, put on shuffle and answer the questions with songs you get.

1. This song describes your personality:
big black - bad penny (what the fuk asddsfdf)

2. This song describes what you want/wish from your life:
david sylvian - forbidden colours

3. This song describes how other people perceive you:
fleetwood mac - you make loving fun (then why am i single asdsdf)

4. This song describes the love of your life:
the strokes - reptilia (is my future bf a lizard then)

5. This song describes your life at this moment:
sergei prokofiev - dance of the knights 

6. The song to make love to:
clubbed to death aka music from matrix im gonna asdfdsfasdfdsf

7. The song to dance your heart out:
courtney barnett - pedestrian at best (hell yeah)

8. The song that will make you cry:
midge ure - after a fashion

9. The song about your future:
chris cornell - wave goodbye (umm does it mean i’ll die?)

10. The last song you will ever hear in your life:
bjork - triumph of a heart 

11. This song describes who you will be in your next life:
the last shadow puppets - bad habits

12. The song that makes you feel better:
the stranglers - golden brown

13. You end up listening to just one song for the rest of your life, and this is it:
grace jones - i’ve seen that face before (i dont mind tbh)

i’m gonna actually tag people: @graceful-swan-of-never @holly-roller @househeart @go-west-brother

The house this luminary (sun) is in shows where we want to shine and be recognized - it describes the focus of our life. This part of life is illuminated and becomes very important to us, our whole being and energy is put inside this house - we put our heart into this house. Even when we try to pursue other areas of life, we will go back to this one again and again - until we have it figured out and have succeeded there, we can’t really focus on anything else.
—  Marina Kuhn in Your Micorcosm

Was tagged by my brother @sergeantbelinski !!

1. What is your biggest fear?
- Abandonment

2. Would you rather live in the heat or the cold?
- Make it cold, I’d just dress warmer or set myself on fire if it gets serious

3. Which Hogwart’s house would you belong in?
-  I’m Hufflepuff

4. What country do you want to visit someday?
- Canada, specifically British Columbia, to see what all the fuss is about

5. Would you rather go into the future or the past?
- Past. 90s. Fuck yeah.

6. Who’s your favorite actor/actress?
- Tommy Wiseau

7. Do you believe in intelligent life on other planets?
- Of course, dude

8. What is one thing you can’t live without?
- Casper, my love! <3

9. Would you explore an ancient ruin if you could?
- Fuck yeah they got coins in there

10. Describe a perfect day.
- Gray outside but not depressingly so, probably a small amount of rain, all of it just enough to slow the world down a bit while I relax indoors

11. What was the last movie you saw?
- Star Trek Beyond

i tag @otomegod @deng-xiaopig @hermitarcanahacker @killa2 @sir-neep-scooter @pyrruby @ben-alexander-kishin @vompire @maski @angelchaolol @pekonyamas @deseda @anodvne @soleilmybae @munsaido @shydecidueye @monmouthghost @lethargicmedicine @homp @opeo

@everyone because there are a trillion of you lovely beans <3

So just do the prompt if you want to, fuck capitalism

I keep thinking about the term inconsequential spectre and how good it is to describe myself with other people…like idk I could come thru your life real fast and hard and do a lot with you but after the novelty and fire of meeting a new person dies down I make my own way and leave and your life will just return to normal without consequence like I really offer no real change I’m just like a walking vague memory that you don’t even remember if it actually happened or was a dream and I just exist to offer people small reprieve from some of life’s sadness before they are done with me then we both move on. Feel like that clown in that joke about being depressed idk if I’m getting my point across. Very depressed tho. I’m like a weird dream that’s hard to remember when you wake up but you kinda know you had it

sunflower asks;

these are all inspired by the ethereal glo of sunflowers (and different types)

pacino: if you could be any age, what age would you be?
ms. mars: what kind of flower or plant are you?
goldie: do u wake up early to catch sunrises?
maximilian: who is/are your current sunshine/s?
vanilla ice: are you a plant or an animal person?
pastiche: what is your favorite color (include the perfect shade)?
red sun: would you rather have a planetarium or a botanical garden?
autumn beauty: who is the sun to your sunflower (a person that you look up to)?
moonwalker: do you consider yourself an idealist or a realist? why?
valentine: make a playlist (with at least five songs) that reminds you of home?
velvet ocean: what is your latest dream?
sungold: are you alright? really?
teddy bear: what’s the best present that you have ever received?
sunspot: what’s been bothering you for a while?
florenza: post a sunny selfie !!!
goldy double: what is/are the name/s of your pet/s?
sunrich limoncello summer: would u rather live in the ocean or the forest?
mammoth russian: what’s your height? and dream height?
little becka: what’s your favorite seed?
lemon queen: can u bake? what are the pastries that you could bake?
jerusalem artichoke: what do you normally do before sleeping?
willowleaf: what’s your favorite autumn outfit?
rosinweed: who are your favorite people?
purpledisk: are you living ur dream life? if not, why do u think so?
serpentine: what’s your most favorite birthday memory?
lakeside: what’s something that you like to do but you cant do it often?
prairie: what are the most beautiful things about your pet/s?
sawtooth: what’s a superstition that u can’t believe u believe in?
downy/ashy: describe your dream significant other!

anonymous asked:

I’m not trying to be inflammatory, I’m just curious. How do het ace/aro people face SYSTEMATIC oppression? Gay/bi/trans people face oppression like difficultly adopting children, finding housing, they may be fired from employment because of their gender or orientation. So they are bared from normal parts of live because of their gender/sexuality. Gay ace/aro people face this too, but what do het ace/aro people experience on a societal level?

If you’d been following my blog at all or even bothered to peruse it a little before dropping this message in my inbox, you’d probably already know the answer to your question. 

You’d ALSO probably know that there are bi and pan aspecs too (e.g., I’m panromantic demisexual) which isn’t “gay” (does this term also include lesbians?) so I feel like your ask erases part of my own identity and that of others in the community.

For these reasons and more, I’d bet money that you’re not here because you’re “curious”. You’re probably here because you figure this is how you’re gonna stop a “self-imposing” aspec from speaking up for herself. 

Well guess what: That’s just hateful & sad.

Regardless though of your intentions, I’m here to say that there is in fact SYSTEMATIC oppression against aspecs. For example, Dr Gordon Hodson wrote this about his 2012 study: 

In a recent investigation (MacInnis & Hodson, in press) we uncovered strikingly strong bias against asexuals in both university and community samples. Relative to heterosexuals, and even relative to homosexuals and bisexuals, heterosexuals: (a) expressed more negative attitudes toward asexuals (i.e., prejudice); (b) desired less contact with asexuals; and © were less willing to rent an apartment to (or hire) an asexual applicant (i.e., discrimination). Moreover, of all the sexual minority groups studied, asexuals were the most dehumanized (i.e., represented as “less human”). Intriguingly, heterosexuals dehumanized asexuals in two ways. Given their lack of sexual interest, widely considered a universal interest, it might not surprise you to learn that asexuals were characterized as “machine-like” (i.e., mechanistically dehumanized). But, oddly enough, asexuals were also seen as “animal-like” (i.e., animalistically dehumanized). Yes, asexuals were seen as relatively cold and emotionless and unrestrained, impulsive, and less sophisticated.

When you repeatedly observe such findings it grabs your attention as a prejudice researcher. But let’s go back a minute and consider those discrimination effects. Really? You’d not rent an apartment to an asexual man, or hire an asexual woman? Even if you relied on stereotypes alone, presumably such people would make ideal tenants and employees. We pondered whether this bias actually represents bias against single people, a recently uncovered and very real bias in its own right (see Psychology Today column by Bella DePaulo). But our statistical analyses ruled out this this possibility. So what’s going on here?

If you’ve been following my column, you’ll recall that I wrote a recent article on what I called the “Bigotry Bigot-Tree” – what psychologists refer to as generalized prejudice. Specifically, those disliking one social group (e.g., women) also tend to dislike other social groups (e.g., homosexuals; Asians). In our recent paper (MacInnis & Hodson, in press), we found that those who disliked homosexuals also disliked bisexuals and asexuals. In other words, these prejudices are correlated. Heterosexuals who dislike one sexual minority, therefore, also dislike other sexual minorities, even though some of these groups are characterized by their sexual interest and activity and others by their lack of sexual interest and activity.

This anti-asexual bias, at its core, seems to boil down to what Herek (2010) refers to as the “differences as deficit” model of sexual orientation. By deviating from the typical, average, or normal sexual interests, sexual minorities are considered substandard and thus easy targets for disdain and prejudice. Contrary to conventional folk wisdom, prejudice against sexual minorities may not therefore have much to do with sexual activity at all. There is even evidence, for instance, that religious fundamentalists are prejudiced against homosexuals even when they are celibate (Fulton et al., 1999). Together, such findings point to a bias against “others”, especially different others, who are seen as substandard and deficient (and literally “less human”). “Group X” is targeted for its lack of sexual interest even more than homosexuals and bisexuals are targeted for their same-sex interests.

From news coverage of a recently published study (2016):

What should the average person take away from your study?

Since I first became interested in the issue, I have come to conclude that U.S. society is both “sex negative” and “sex positive.” In other words, there is stigma and marginalization that can come both from being “too sexual” and from being “not sexual enough.” In a theoretical paper, I argued that sexuality may be compulsory in contemporary U.S. society. In other words, our society assumes that (almost) everyone is, at their core, “sexual” and there exists a great deal of social pressure to experience sexual desire, engage in sexual activities, and adopt a sexual identity. At the same time, various types of “non-sexuality” (such as a lack of sexual desire or activity) are stigmatized.

For this particular study, I identified thirty individuals who identified as asexual and asked them first, if they had experienced stigma or marginalization as a result of their asexuality, and, second how they challenged this stigma or marginalization. I found that my interviewees had experienced the following forms of marginalization: pathologization (i.e. people calling them sick), social isolation, unwanted sex and relationship conflict, and the denial of epistemic authority (i.e. people not believing that they didn’t experience sexual attraction). I also found that my interviews resisted stigma and marginalization in five ways: describing asexuality as simply a different (but not inherently worse) form of sexuality; deemphasizing the importance of sexuality in human life; developing new types of nonsexual relationships; coming to see asexuality as a sexual orientation or identity; and engaging in community building and outreach.

I hope that average people would take away from this study the idea that some people can lead fulfilling lives without experiencing sexual attraction but can experience distress if others try to invalidate their identities.

Some of the social isolation we aspecs experience comes from religious communities. Indeed, the popular myth that religious people revere aspecs is very much NOT TRUE. For example, read “Myth 8″ from the VISION Catholic Religious Vocation Guide:

MYTH 8: Religious are asexual

Question: What do you call a person who is asexual? 

Answer: Not a person. Asexual people do not exist. Sexuality is a gift from God and thus a fundamental part of our human identity. Those who repress their sexuality are not living as God created them to be: fully alive and well. As such, they’re most likely unhappy.

All people are called by God to live chastely, meaning being respectful of the gift of their sexuality. Religious men and women vow celibate chastity, which means they live out their sexuality without engaging in sexual behavior. A vow of chastity does not mean one represses his manhood or her womanhood. Sexuality and the act of sex are two very different things. While people in religious life abstain from the act of sex, they do not become asexual beings, but rather need to be in touch with what it means to be a man or a woman. A vow of chastity also does not mean one will not have close, loving relationships with women and men. In fact, such relationships are a sign of living the vow in a healthy way. Living a religious vow of chastity is not always easy, but it can be a very beautiful expression of love for God and others.

Religious women and men aren’t oddities; they mirror the rest of the church they serve: there are introverts and extroverts, tall and short, old and young, straight and gay, obese and skinny, crass and pious, humorous and serious, and everything in between. They attempt to live the same primary vocation as all other Christians do: proclaiming and living the gospel. However, religious do this as members of an order that serve the church and world in a particular way. Like marriage and the single life, religious life can be wonderful, fulfilling, exciting, and, yes, normal. Yet, it also can be countercultural and positively challenging. It’s that for us and many others.

If you thought religious life was outdated, dysfunctional, or dead, we hope you can now look beyond the stereotypes and see the gift it is to the church and world.

NOTE: YOU CAN BE A GAY CATHOLIC PERSON BUT NOT ASEXUAL, BC ASEXUALITY DOESN’T EXIST (yet somehow we’re also “most likely unhappy” and “oddities”). I sincerely hope and believe that not all religions characterize us aspecs this way. But here are some personal accounts I found on a reddit site answering the question “Do any religions have a negative stance toward asexuals?”:

Please note that the Christian pastor in the last example was fearful (or something?) that an asexual was helping to lead a youth group and kicked them out of the church as a result.

So I’ve seen the discussion and conversation about the Kardashian segment on the Late Late show with Harry being asked if it’s true/right that she (Kendall) ‘lays’ all day. A pun playing on the other guests chickens which he named after the Kardashian females.

It’s this type of subtle sexism and disrespect that infuriates me. Would they have asked Kendall about her sex life if she was there - NEVER. Harry (who we are meant to believe was Kendall’s sexual partner) is now 'dating’ Tess doesn’t get asked what frequency he’s getting laid but will shade Kendall and infer she’s a got a high sex drive at best or a slut at worst.

What makes it worse is that you’ve got three men there sitting there making that joke about the sex life of their apparent friend (if not ex).

Would they like their mum, their daughter, their sister described like that - my guess is no. So if that’s the case why do it to ANY OTHER FEMALE. This disrespect (and call it what it is, it’s not just a joke) is insidious and pervasive and makes people think it’s ok to treat women like objects.

Harry I love your music especially some of the new album, but the way your treating females as a commodity to sell a story or get a quick laugh isn’t ok. You talk about being a feminist, guess what that means more then posting about the womens March. Stand up for women and call out this shit not just participate.

To Harry and his team, not to mention James please try harder cause this isn’t good enough.

I recently asked my students in an upper division Gender and Women’s Studies Feminist Engaged Research course—in which all students are Gender and Women’s Studies majors or minors—a question about that day’s reading we were discussing in class. A student responded with: “It’s all about intersectionality.” My initial question is not particularly relevant, as I have found that students will attempt to answer nearly any question by referencing (the need for and value of) “intersectionality.” I followed up to ask: “What is intersectionality?” My students looked at me blankly. All of my students had been exposed to what they would describe as “intersectionality.” Yet, not one had read the original theory of intersectionality. Not one could accurately describe the theory. Not one had a sense of the genealogy of the term. Not one could think of limits to intersectionality. Some thought that the term refers to moments in which activism and scholarship “intersect,” while others insisted that it refers to the moment when any two or more marginalized identities meet within one person’s life. Not one knew its roots in black feminist theory or critical race theory. I raise this point not because these moments gesture toward some type of feminist pedagogical failure—if only the students learned the material properly!—but because these moments point to the hegemony of discourses of “intersectionality” within Gender and Women’s Studies. In these moments, we can see that, as Ahmed (2012a) suggests, “intersectionality can be used as a method of deflection,” as a way of re-directing attention away from race and racism (195)—and, by extension, from whichever form of marginalization one is working to address—by bringing up other forms of social exclusion. The failure here lies with neither an individual instructor nor student but with a field that has produced so little critical reflection on the limits of “intersectionality” that it figures as that which is largely beyond contest.
—  Carly Thomsen, “Becoming Radically Undone: Discourses of Identity and Diversity in the Introductory Gender and Women’s Studies Classroom”
youtube

It’s the summer anthem many were waiting for. In the new video for the irrepressible hip-hop song “Thunder Thighs,” women of different shapes, sizes, races and sexualities enjoy a summer day in the Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood of Brooklyn — all exulting in their own bodies as they braid each other’s hair, eat ice cream and frolic in a fire hydrant’s spray.

“Thunder Thighs” is the handiwork of Miss Eaves, the alter ego of Brooklyn multimedia artist Shanthony Exum. Her work, which includes rap, photography, illustration and graphic design, centers on themes she describes as politically progressive and feminist. For Exum, “Thunder Thighs” is a case of “art reflecting reality.”

“I’ve had a curvy body for my whole life,” she says. “A lot of the things I talked about in ‘Thunder Thighs’ — such as, like, wearing mom jeans or having your thighs touch and rub together, in the summer, getting 'chub rub’ — these are things I’ve experienced my whole life.”

'Thunder Thighs’: The Summer Anthem That Celebrates Every Woman

Originally posted by stupidlamb-s

A/N: again i don’t care. Jasper is sexy.

**********

“Starting without me? I’m offended” you jump behind jasper as he was explain the best way to defeat a newborn army. He jumps, surprised, you were the only one that could surprise the major.

You and jasper met when he was with Maria and the moment he saw you he immediately lost interest with Maria and you two got close, much to Maria’s disliking. But since then you both have stuck together, changing your ‘diet’ together, sticking together through the hard times. Although you have been separated for a year now because you’ve been spending time with jasper’s distant family members and also peter and charlotte in Texas. After hearing from jasper that a new born army was coming after Edward’s mate you immediately volunteered to help.

***************

“I hate it when you do that” jasper playfully scolds

“Shut up, you love it” you tease, going up on your tip toes to kiss him before he can say anything. Swiftly turning to face the human, you smile and introduce yourself before turning back and asking jasper where he got to in explaining how to win.

“So where were we?” you ask cheekily

“(Y/n)? What would you say would be the best advice” jasper asks you a sweet smile on his face

“Oh that’ll be, never let them get their arms around you they’ll crush you instantly” you reply

“And second never go for the obvious kill, they’ll be expecting that and you. Will. Loose.” Jasper got really intense and you could see the major coming out and it. Was. Sexy

“Emmett!” he calls out. They don’t fight for long and before you know it, it’s your time to go against your mate.

“Don’t go easy on me” you warn

“Don’t worry I’ve learnt my lesson” he grins and you both laugh at the inside joke. You fight for a bit before you easily win.

“You’ve gotten slower babe. What happened?” you tease

“Oh you’ll pay for that”

**************

When Bella asked jasper on how he knew about all of this war the topic of you came up

“She was the light in my darkness, I owe my better  life to her” jasper describes his love for you as you walk up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, resting your chin on his shoulder after kissing it

“God I sound awesome don’t I?” you joke

“Yes you are” jasper replies seriously. You smile at each other and passionately kiss. Bella looking at the both of you and thinking that you and jasper are what she aspirers her relationship to be like.

The original master list

For late night talks with friends

  1. If could relive childhood all over again without being able to change anything, would you?
  2. Looking at your current level of intelligence and attractiveness, which would you choose to increase/improve?
  3. Which have you thought about more, your wedding or your funeral?
  4. If you knew you would never meet your soulmate or be happy in a relationship, would you choose to still get married/settle down with someone?
  5. Do you take what you can get, or are you “all or nothing"
  6. Have you ever thought you had a mental health issue/illness?
  7. Which are you most like and why -a river, a lake, or an ocean?
  8. If your partner/you were to get pregnant at this current moment, would you keep or abort the baby?
  9. What is the biggest mistake you’ve made
  10. What do you feel is your biggest personality flaw?
  11. Which do you admire more -your mother or your father?
  12. Who do you spend more time trying to impress?
  13. What is something that you do often, but almost always regret?
  14. Have you ever fantasized about having sexual relations with someone in this room?
  15. Do you prefer to be the big spoon or little spoon?
  16. Do you prefer to be tied up or do the tying? (bondage)
  17. Do you have a martyr complex?
  18. What is something you wish you were complemented on a lot more?
  19. If you just met someone and found out they were a psychopath, if you knew they would never harm you, would you like to be their friend?
  20. Have you ever admired a manipulator?
  21. What is something that if someone does it, they immediately lose your respect?
  22. What would having sex with the person to your right be like? (Characteristics)
  23. What do you think the person to your left thinks their best quality is?
  24. What do you think people your age’s biggest insecurity is?
  25. What do you think makes you the most different compared to everyone else in the room?
  26. What do you think makes you the most different compared to everyone else your age?
  27. What personality characteristic gets you in trouble the most
  28. What personality characteristic gets you the most friends?
  29. Pick a personality characteristic from the person to your right that you would want to have
  30. If you were   a relationship with the person on your left, what do you see them doing that would end the relationship?
  31. What characteristic makes you a bad girlfriend/boyfriend?
  32. What characteristic makes you a great boyfriend/girlfriend?
  33. Ask the person opposite you why they think you are single
  34. Which person in the group do you feel the most chemistry with?
  35. Have you ever fantasized about anyone in the group?
  36. What would make you leave your partner?
  37. What would your parents have to do to lose your love?
  38. What would your parents have to do to lose your respect?
  39. What about growing up has been the hardest for you?
  40. How do you deal with bad memories?
  41. How good are you at reading people?
  42. What is a weakness you have in your relationships?
  43. Do you think it is/will be easy for you to say “I love you” or difficult?
  44. If you had a daughter, what would you tell her about boys?
  45. If you had a son, what would you tell him about girls?
  46. Which do you think you are stronger in? intelligence or emotional awareness?
  47. Are you more of a long-term or short-term relationship person?
  48. What scares you the most about being in a relationship?
  49. Are you attracted to happy people or broken souls?
  50. Have you ever had an incestuous thought?
  51. What do you blame your parents for?
  52. List five ways in which you are, after all, quite difficult to live with?
  53. The chief problems in my relationship with my mother were…
  54. The chief problems in my relationship with my father were…
  55. If someone likes me a lot, I start to feel…
  56. What did you learn about relationships from your parents?
  57. What slightly unhealthy things feel attractive in a partner? How might this relate to your opposite sex parent?
  58. What slightly unhealthy things feel attractive in a partner?
  59. If you could consider yourself dispassionately, what might you warn a friend about if they were thinking of starting a relationship with you?
  60. If I were to explain a bit more to people about how I felt about things, they would…
  61. What are, or would be, my faults as a parent?
  62. What would hurt you the most, in terms of what your kids do/are like/think?
  63. What would be the biggest disappoint you in the kids?
  64. Name three sexual scenarios that especially excite you.
  65. When do you cry or want to cry (as an adult)?
  66. List five things that are the important to you in your life. How much of your time do you give to each of these?
  67. What things do you often end up buying that don’t – on reflection, much of the time – actually satisfy you that much?
  68. What are you trying to say through your clothes?
  69. Name three works of art (music, literature and visual art/architecture) that mean a lot to you.
  70. What are you a little addicted to? Porn, alcohol, shopping, arguing…
  71. What negative character flaws do you fear – in your worst nightmares – that other people have spotted about you?’
  72. ‘If I knew I couldn’t fail, in my professional life, I’d try to…
  73. Rank in order of importance for you in your career: Money, Status, Creativity, Social Impact, Colleagues.
  74. What sort of things have made you envious recently?
  75. When my partner disappoints me, I:
    1. Explode/get angry at them
    2. Withdraw
    3. Re-evaluate our relationships
    4. Other -
  76. What often impairs your decision making process? Lack of confidence, impatience, desire to please, over-excitement…
  77. Choose four adjective to describe yourself. Ask three good friends to do the same for you.
  78. What are you currently lying to certain people around you about?
  79. If a really kind person wanted to praise me, they’d say…
  80. If a really tough person assessed me, they’d say…
  81. Are you dominant or submissive sexually? And in the rest of your life?
  82. What things would deeply alarm your loved ones if they knew them about you?
  83. If you could create your ideal pornography, what would it feature?
  84. What would you ideally like someone to feel compassionate towards you for? What would it beautiful if they could forgive?
  85. What did you most enjoy doing as a child? Do you get those feelings now?
3

“After the surgery, I had to completely start from scratch. The biggest question I had was whether I would be able to skate again. I couldn’t imagine my life without skating. After I came back to the ice, it was very hard, we got through it bit by bit. The free skate tells our story from the past year.” “…it describes our experience: a man and a woman, the two of them each other’s best friends, they share one goal and career, helping each other, supporting each other…” (x, x)

Here’s the thing.

I am a transgender man (see photo of my mug for context).

I love all trans people and I love non binary people. But lately some of my trans spaces (both on the web and irl) that are mainly non binary have started to feel a little hostile.

I want to make something perfectly clear before I continue - I love and respect non binary people, I think their genders are valid and I am in no way suggesting they are any less important that myself or any other binary trans person. I also need you to understand that this isn’t meant to be a post calling out non binary people at all, it is just me talking about my personal experiences in the hope that it can get people to be a little more considerate sometimes?

In university spaces, it seems that there is a growing population of non binary people that tends to dominate trans groups. Which is good in lots of ways, especially since it shows how this generation has become much more relaxed and aware that gender is a construct and fluidity is key. However, amongst people I know there is a lot of ‘ew gross men’, or 'ew gross trans men that are masculine’, while at the same time being predominantly DFAB populations.

Now trust me, I very much understand the dislike a lot of dfab trans people have of men. A lot of us are survivors and I think that does play a big part in how we feel about the gender overall. Not to mention it is not uncommon for men to be, for lack of a better word- wankers. However, I don’t think people consider trans men when we are talking about this.

Making a comment like 'ew men are so fucking gross’ to a room of trans people means that to a trans man you are saying one of two things - 1) you are gross, or 2) you aren’t gross because you’re not a Real Man, and you are excluded from this statement because you are and always will be, partly a woman. Even now I feel uncomfortable 'complaining’ about this. I have to remind myself that just as suggesting that a trans woman is somehow different to other women would be considered incredibly offensive, so is it for trans men.

I didn’t realise how much this stuff affected me until it did. Constantly being around people that talk about, how body hair on men is gross, masculinity is by default toxic, making jokes about my masculinity being toxic when I excitedly tell people that I’ve started going to the gym and its making me feel better about my body. No, it’s not funny. It’s MY dysphoria I’m trying to ease. I as a trans person want to feel supported and loved when I do things that have a chance of making me feel good about my body.

It hit me like a brick wall when I realised how much it had affected me. I was with my partner, and was trying to have sex, but I just broke down. I felt so incredibly disgusted with my body and myself. So much hair, so masculine. The noises I made, gross. The way I touched him, creepy. I couldn’t get out of my head the idea that later in life he would talk to people about how gross and unshaven I was, just like I had heard friends describe ex boyfriends so many times before.

I felt cheated because these were the changes I WANTED my body to make. But now they felt ruined. Spoiled.
It was after that realisation that I decided I had to get out. I stopped going to some of student socials and instead started attending a group for older trans people. It was so refreshing to meet other trans men for once (just because I rarely meet them at uni, and it was nice to talk to someone similar.) It was awesome to be around people who weren’t shitty about trans people being stealth (as I remember I once was.)

There are some important things to take away from all of this:

1) Telling trans boys and men that they are disgusting for wanting to be like men will only destroy self esteem and feed into the toxic environment that a lot of cis boys grow up in.

2) Non binary people are extremely valid and awesome, but also must accept they have a responsibility to cultivate a supportive and friendly atmosphere in spaces where they are dominant (I put this in here for university spaces especially)

3) Laughing at a trans man/woman for being excessively masc/fem presenting if you are a dfab nb person who mainly presents as fem or androgynous is facetious and not respecting that they may have to present that way to stay safe, (especially in the case of trans women that may be more 'obviously trans’) and that despite suffering prejudice in many ways, the one thing you are not realistically facing is street violence and such because you inevitably are not going to be clocked as trans. (which yes, does NOT make your transness invalid but we have to respect the different struggles people in our community face.)

4) Someone being stealth does not mean they are adhering to 'toxic gender roles’. It means they are either 1) trying to be safe or 2) surprise surprise they want to live their life as the gender they identify with. Trans people are not less legitimately trans because you think they are 'acting cis’.

5) Being a binary trans person does not give you privilege over nb people. Like seriously, trans women are literally the most likely to be murdered. Don’t be a dick. Erasure is a problem yes but it’s not the same. I read names out at the TDOR vigil and pretty much all of them were trans women of colour. Respect that. Help the community. This isn’t about scoring points over who has it the shittiest.

6) The idea that the only good kinda of trans men are 'soft sensitive kinda trans masc guys that don’t have surgeries and shave all their body hair’ is shitty and offensive (tho that kind of trans man is totally valid, that not what i mean). Its shitty because one you’re sexualising them either as more childlike or more feminine (both is rude, former is creepy), but its perpetuating the idea that trans men aren’t really men and the best ones are the ones that YOU think still kinda look suitably enough like women.

'Meet BTS, the K-Pop Group Loved By Wale and Charlie Puth'

Teen Vogue: How did you feel about landing in the U.S. iTunes Top 10 in February?

Rap Monster: Reaching the top of any music chart is a thrill, but this was a shock. We were on [a strict TV appearance] schedule at that time, so it wasn’t like I could scream or anything (laughs).

Jin: It was ‘Wow. Are you serious? Really?’ It was similar to what I thought when I first heard that Wings charted at 26 on the Billboard 200 last year. How cool is that!

Teen Vogue: For those new to BTS, what song and which video should they check out?

RM: Hmmm, it’s like choosing between your mom and your dad, who do you like better! “Fire” was loved by so many, so that’s the song.

Jin: I’d recommend “Blood Sweat & Tears” because I got the lead role and I kind of lead the whole story of video! And, of course, it’s beautifully designed and choreographed.

V: I, too, think it’s “Blood Sweat & Tears.” It had so many metaphors and I had to make a lot of guesses to understand the relationship between characters. And there’s a scene where I make a strange smile to give you a chill, which I love!

Teen Vogue: Rap Monster, K-Pop groups usually have designated roles for the members and yours is BTS’s leader, but what does that mean to you?

RM: It’s my official role to represent BTS to the world and it’s been a chance for me to mature as a person, but, behind the scenes, I’m just one of seven members and I’m inspired by the others all the time. I get free life lessons from J-Hope and Jimin, sometimes it’s like they’re 10 years older than me.

Teen Vogue: OK, let’s play a little game. You’re now at the mercy of another member describing you.

Jungkook: Jin used to be an ordinary guy in the team, but he’s the mood maker now. He’s the most wicked and funniest of all. No one in BTS is normal though, come to think of it.

Jin: Jungkook’s delicate voice always mesmerizes our ears and that’s definitely his role in BTS.

V: Jimin is a real piece of cuteness, like the youngest in the family.

Jimin: V’s specialty is getting all the attention from others onto him!

J-Hope: Suga is a true caretaker. He’s kind of a hidden leader who takes care of everyone.

Suga: J-Hope’s a real hope-maker. He’s such a ‘hope-generator.’

Teen Vogue: BTS have become highly respected for penning their own tracks. When you’re on tour, do you make time to write?

RM: Mostly we’re in the hotel when we’re not on [our promotional] schedule so I bring all my equipment. I wake up, if I have a rehearsal, I go do that and when I come back to the hotel, I sit down and turn on the laptop, cause I’ve got nothing to do without that!

Teen Vogue: When you’ve got a new demo, such as the rough guide to Wings, do you take it to another member and play it and ask for feedback?

Suga: I usually have as many people listen to it as possible because I think it really helps make it a better track. I always get great feedback from the rest of the band.

RM: Firstly, I take it to (BTS’s executive producer) P.Dogg. If he likes it, he sometimes puts it into the album. I really trust him, he’s got the eye for it.

Teen Vogue: If P.Dogg says no, will you fight for it?

RM: Yeah, of course, I really fight for it! I’m like, ‘Hey, this is the thing I gotta do right now. If you won’t do it, I’ll put it into my mixtape!’ The last one I fought for was ‘Reflection’ — there’s an original version, a whole different song. He didn’t not like it, it just didn’t fit the Wings concept, so I’ll release it myself someday.

Suga: I think I kind of did for my mixtape, because I felt I should as AgustD [my solo moniker], and I’m glad I did.

Teen Vogue: Speaking of mixtapes, J-Hope, we’ve been looking forward to hearing yours. What can you tell us about it?

J-Hope: I’m working on it as we speak and my inspiration really depends on my daily mood swing; sometimes I like to go strong and sometimes I make softer sounds. Since it’s a mixtape, I’m trying to experiment with various genres to test myself.

Teen Vogue: Jungkook, you recently covered Charlie Puth’s “We Don’t Talk Anymore” — you teased it in January but didn’t release it until the end of February. Were you making changes? And will we hear your own songwriting any time soon?

Jungkook: I recorded it several times until I was sure that it felt and sounded perfect. I was more than ready to share it because I knew fans had been waiting, but we had You Never Walk Alone being released and I thought I’d better wait until BTS wraps up the official activities for it. I don’t feel confident about writing any of my own [material] yet, but if I ever write a song, I’d like to work on a very soft and sweet vibe.

Teen Vogue: The bigger an artist gets, the more people will try and bring them down. How does BTS deal with that side of fame?

Jimin: I’m a very positive person and I don’t easily get intimidated by people who try to bring me or BTS down. Besides, my family is always there for me.

RM: These days, I try to take everything as my fate and respond with dignity. I accept it, it’s like a shadow, it’s just there.

J-Hope: I had a firm belief that I was going to be a successful artist, and that led me to what I am. I draw all the strength I need from that belief and try to share my energy with other members as much as I can.

Teen Vogue: Rap Monster, you’ve just released a collaboration with rapper Wale, which came about through a BTS fan helping bring you guys together over Twitter. What can you tell us about working together?

RM: When he suggested the collaboration, that was a real shock. I thought about it, [and was] like, should we do a party song? But I wanted to do something different. The title is “Change” — in America. They’ve got their situations and we’ve got ours in Seoul, the problems are everywhere and the song is like a prayer for change. He talks about the police, and problems he’s faced since he was a child. For me, I talked about Korea, my problems, and about those on Twitter who kill people by keyboards.

Teen Vogue: Let’s do a finishing quickfire round! BTS experiments with a lot of genres, which one has been a challenge?

V: I always find rock difficult.

RM: I’m always ready to be challenged, like, “Wings: Outro,” it was hip-house, that was the first time I’d ever listened to that genre… but I liked it.

Teen Vogue: What do you want do while you’re in America?

RM: I want to go to Barneys and Supreme! I want to see buildings and people on the street, their faces, what they talk about, how they walk. I do that in Korea. I go to somewhere I haven’t been and just watch people and colors, that’s my inspiration.

Jimin: I really want to go on a day trip with the members. Or a picnic to Central Park on a sunny day would be nice.

My Life as a Cartoon Network Intern (and how I think you can Intern in Animation too!)

Over this past summer, I was given the amazing opportunity to be a Production Intern at Cartoon Network (I worked on Clarence; woo!)

Every once in a while I get people who either come up to me in person, or who message me on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram etc. and ask me how I got the opportunity, and how they can intern in animation as well. Recently (Over the course of the last week or so) I’ve been asked a bunch, so I decided to create this massive master post in an attempt to get the information out to as many artists (and non-artists) as possible! 

I know a lot of people who feel like getting into the animation industry is completely impossible, (I should know, I felt the exact same way not too long ago) and I also know just how LITTLE references there actually are on finding an internship, and beyond that, the type of experiences that people who gotten the chance to intern have had. I told myself that if I got the internship, I would try to change that, and here we are! (A little late, but I really want to make this as helpful as possible)

If you all could please Reblog this to your followers I would love it! You never know who’s looking and hopefully, I can help people with my experiences! 

So to make it easier for people who don’t have the time to read all of my ramblings, AND for the sake of ease/reference; I’m going to break this post up into different sections: My Internship search My initial excitement/rejections - How I got the internship - My experience as an Intern and How Interning has helped me as an artist

My Internship search: 

Halfway through last year (My Sophomore year of college) I had decided that I would take a leap of faith and apply for some internships. I didn’t expect much of it, but my hopes were high because I thought I had at least a halfway decent portfolio, and my resume had some pretty okay animation experience on it (I’m the head of the only Animation organization on campus) and I’m majoring in animation so I had some 3D experience and 2D experience (which I’ve worked on on my own time, since it’s what I want to do) 

One of my biggest worries was the fact that I go to a state school: Southern Illinois University. The school is great, and I love it there, but I couldn’t afford art school, so I was very worried about how many opportunities there would be for me in Southern Illinois. Especially with the amount of amazing art that I see coming from people who go to schools like CalArs, Sheridan and the like. I was frustrated because I wasn’t there and felt like I would never get the opportunity to work in animation, which has been my dream since I could hold a pencil. Cartoons have changed my life, and they still do; but I was genuinely afraid that because I couldn’t afford a more art-related education, that I wouldn’t get the opportunity to tell stories like I’ve always dreamed. (But I digress) 

As I was saying: I was doing all of your standard (I want/need a job) searches to try to find something in animation: Glassdoor, Internships.com, JOBS.com; stuff like that. FUN FACT: I’ve read every single Glassdoor review for both Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. Every Job. All of them.

Some internships are a lot easier to find: Nickelodeon, Disney, Titmouse

While some are WAAAAAY more elusive: Cartoon Network… 

This narrowed my search down from a bunch of animation studios.. to a handful. My candidates were: Nickelodeon, Dreamworks and Titmouse. (All wonderful animation studios!) Now here’s where it gets interesting:

 My initial excitement/Rejections:

I didn’t hear back from any of them! NOT ONE. Which I learned after a very long, VERY stressful waiting period. (At this time it was early to mid April) Now; I knew that I was really too young to be applying for the internships, (I’m young for my grade so I was 19 at the time) And I knew that all of these internships specified that they wanted a Junior or above, but I figured since the year was almost over and I had good grades that MAYBE, they would let me slide. But I had no real experience working in animation, and although my hopes were high, they were also reeeeeeeal low. 

After waiting for the few weeks that I did, and not hearing a peep, I was dejected, frustrated, and I felt like there was no hope for me… Which leads us to…

HOW I GOT THE INTERNSHIP: 

When it comes to how I actually GOT the job: The answer I want to give you guys is that it was complete luck, and that by a series of random occurrences, somehow I was offered the position…. BUT, that’s only half true. Honestly, I worked really hard on making sure that I had as good a résumé as I possibly could: 

By that, I mean that I’ve worked really hard in school to get good grades/dean’s list/honors program, etc.; and I also started an animation organization on campus. (There’s a major, but there was a huge lack of enthusiasm and community within the program at SIU so I wanted to help to bring other artists and myself closer, and make great art while we’re at it) 

On top of that, I wrote (what I think was) a really good cover letter. But… Even with all three of those things, I don’t know if I would have gotten the position if it wasn’t for the internship coordinator at my school. I go to Southern Illinois University, and she pointed me in the direction of the Cartoon Network internship. (The Turner website isn’t like Nickelodeon, they only post internships when there’s a position to be filled)

LUCKILY for me, the Producer of Clarence (The wonderful Keith Mack) is an alum from SIU, so he connected with the internship coordinator (bless her heart) and I learned exactly when the position opened up. My resume and things got sent straight to him. I got a Skype interview a couple of weeks later, and I got accepted the day of the interview!

So I mean… Looking back, it was half luck, half hard work. 

It’s not like the grades and stuff really matter outside of college; Grades are just arbitrary letters, after all. But, I say that to say that I’ve tried to work hard in college even though I’m not at an art school, and that if you’re focused, it doesn’t really matter WHAT you’re good at; but how hard you work and the type of person you are. You can never go to college but be an amazing artist and an amazing person, and if you meet that ONE right person, or if you’re at that ONE correct place at the correct time; amazing things can happen; and I FIRMLY believe that. 

While I was at CN I was talking to someone (I don’t know if it’s best to call her out by name?..) But anyway she was telling me about how some of the artists are found at CN and she told me that Tumblr, YES TUMBLR. Is a HUUUUUUUUGE factor in the hiring of some people! So if you can… POST POST POST! Putting your art out there is the absolute best way to get seen. You NEVER know who’s looking at your artwork, and this website is an amazing platform for sharing, and learning about art. (And as a shameless plug: The blog Artists-Everyday is actually meant for just that ;) check it ouuuuut)

But moving forward; let’s talk about: 

THE INTERVIEW:

The interview to be an intern at CN was both really intimidating, and really comfortable at the same time. I love animation pretty much more than anything, so the idea that a single interview could determine whether or not I got a life-changing opportunity was pretty much one of the most daunting things that I could think of. The fact that I was in southern Illinois RIGHT at the time that I would have had to interview really didn’t help either… It was really scary to me, because it meant that I wasn’t going to be able to interview in person. It was a Skype interview, (a group one at that) and it was my first time ever interviewing for a position online. 

Once I got past all of the initial fear, the interview was smooth sailing. They had already seen my resume and cover letter; so we really just spent a lot of time talking about casual things: my favorite animated movie, what my favorite episode of Clarence was, etc. It wasn’t like your usual interview where they ask “why would we hire you” or “what is your greatest weakness” and I really appreciated that. They weren’t robots, they weren’t the ANIMATION GODS like I was imagining in my head – they were actual people, who happen to love animation, and the interview reflected that. 

I learned that I had gotten the position the day that I interviewed, and I’m SO GLAD I didn’t have to wait any more days, because at that point I was on fire on the inside. II don’t know what the hiring process was like for interns on different shows, so don’t take my word for how long it’ll take if you make it this far) 


MY EXPERIENCE AS AN INTERN/HOW IT’S HELPED ME AS AN ARTIST:

There is no one word to describe how amazing it is to work at Cartoon Network. A lot of CN stuff is “hush hush” high security, and they don’t allow you to take pictures of the inside of the buildings - So I’m not going to say much, other than: It’s magic. Pure magic. But I will say one thing: Free food. AT ALL TIMES. EVERY DAY. 

Working there is one of the most creatively satisfying things I’ve ever done in my life. The people, the atmosphere… it was all so inspiring. I’ve learned more in those past three months than I have in the last two years, and It’s all because I was surrounded by so many people who are better than me. People, who I might add, are some of the greatest, nicest, and most helpful people I’ve met in a long time. Plus, Cartoon Network really goes out on a limb to take care of their employees. 

I got to sit in on voice actors doing their recordings, I got to see storyboard pitches, I got to see animatics and assets for episodes that were unaired, and it was all being created right in front of me by such PASSIONATE people. 

I EVEN GOT TO MEET TOM KENNY. He remembered my name… 

As a production intern you get to see the logistic side of things: and you really grow to appreciate Production and that side of the industry, because without the production team, there would be no show! Even though I want to be a storyboard artist, I now know more about the industry and Cartoon Network as a whole, and it makes me feel much more connected to the shows that I watch on television.

One of the other biggest things about the program is the fact that I got to take storyboard/character design tests for practice, and I got the chance to pitch a show to the studio, in front of the Clarence Crew and even some really important executives! which was an AMAZING opportunity that I learned a TON from. I got amazing feedback, and I had to push myself harder than I’ve ever pushed myself before. Mentally, artistically, and personally. 


IN CONCLUSION

It’s possible. Being an intern at an animation studio is possible. Getting a job in animation is possible. Making friends in animation, and actually feeling like you belong to something you’ve dreamed about since you were a child is POSSIBLE. It doesn’t matter where you go to school, it doesn’t matter if you’re afraid, and it doesn’t matter what you look like. People are drawn to people who are genuine; and if you love animation, or production, or storyboarding or character design, and you work hard and try to really open yourself up artistically; you CAN do it. Take it from the 20 year old black guy who loves anime, video games and cartoons. You can do it. 


I don’t know how many people will see this or how helpful it actually is; but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE feel free to share this info with your followers, and on top of that if you guys EVER have any questions about my experiences or need me to clarify anything for ANY reason you’re absolutely welcome to contact me! 

I know how many people would love to intern, and I know (from experience) how DREADFUL It is to find conducive information about how the process works and how YOU can get an internship. 

Hope you guys stuck with this post till the end, and like I said if you ever have any more questions, (hell, or if you even want to share YOUR art with me… I’m always open!) 

TL;DR:                  This Gif Sums it Up 

-Sean 

The Pawns And The Kings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Originally posted by bangtanbtsmut



Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Smut

Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.

Keep reading

Mark the dates on your calendars folks! Soukoku Week will run again this year, from June 26-July 2, 2017!

The Prompts

  • Day 1 – Sartorialism / 「Ah, heart, that believes in others more than itself」 – Sheep Song
  • Day 2 – Spring / 「That’s what being a partner means, right?」 – Dazai Osamu, Chapter 11
  • Day 3 – Historical AU / 「Your goody two-shoes act also puts me off.」 – Nakahara Chuuya, Chapter 31
  • Day 4 – Memento Mori / 「Once again, I chase my wish that slips through」 – Eien Misui Ni Good Bye
  • Day 5 – Horror AU / 「I’ll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black」 – DARKNESS MY SORROW
  • Day 6 – Inspirations from Real Life Authors / 「In my case, such an expression as ‘to be fallen for’ or even ‘to be loved’ is not in the least appropriate; perhaps it describes the situation more accurately to say that I was 'looked after’.」 – No Longer Human
  • Day 7 – Free Day

We would like to thank @malchikelf and @txintedsorrow for giving suggestions for Days 1 and 3.

General Rules & Guidelines

  • All submissions must be tagged with #soukokuweek. Please include what day and theme(s) your work is about within the post.
  • Other characters/pairings may be included, but soukoku must be the focus.
  • Any form of media is acceptable as long as it’s your own creation. This includes but is not limited to: fanart, fanfiction, graphics, metas, cosplay, AMVs, etc. Any reposted or edited work that is not yours (sourced or unsourced) will not be published.
  • Triggering and/or suggestive material is acceptable. However, please be aware that: 1.) NSFW art/graphics will need appropriate tags and warnings; and 2.) In addition to tags and warnings about the nature of the post, fanfictions/metas must also be put under a READ MORE.
  • Feel free to be as liberal with the given prompts as you wish; there are no wrong interpretations!
  • We will reblog all works tagged in #soukokuweek until one week after the conclusion of the event. You can also tag us with your posts or submit through the blog!

Still feeling lost? Don’t be shy to shoot an ask for any questions you may have! In the meantime, you can help spread the word by liking and/or reblogging this post and following this blog if you haven’t yet.

See you soon!