my life where did it go

angel dumott schunard walked up to a perfect stranger, asked him “oh my god you okay honey?” took him home, dressed his wounds, gave him food and let him stay with her for the night, the next morning he brought her to meet his friends who were like family to him (the trust!!) and she invited them both to life support (“on christmas?” “some people don’t have anywhere else to go today” like if u cry everytime) and as they were leaving did a little dance to cheer up roger, someone she literally just met, because she didn’t want to see him sad, her friendship with mimi and mimi’s story about how she always helped those in need, i can’t remember where i was going with this but i literally love angel with my whole entire being and want to let everyone know she deserves everything that is good in the world

I want to go back to the place
where I have a purpose.
To the place where I
can make a difference.
I want to get up and sweat
for seven hours because at least then
I’m making something out of my life.
I can’t find any joy right here,
but my god, did I ever
find joy there.
I found joy, and hope,
and purpose, and love,
and I found a place where
every one of my actions were
acts of creation.
I want that back.
I want that forever.
I don’t want to live out the rest of my days
not even knowing why I’m alive.
I am built on hope,
and I want to know what hope is.
—  hope is // c.r.h.
To a broken heart

Im sorry you have to feel the pain of loosing the best thing that’s ever happen to you. I don’t know you that well, but from what I saw you and Cooper were a once in a life time love. Those are hard to find. Your once in a life time everything. He was all you ever could have asked for someone. I am so sorry that things turned out the way they did, and it’s hard enough to deal with a broken heart but to loose your once in a life time love without knowing what could have been, where you could have ended up with him, makes me feel so deeply for you. Because you will go a life time without ever knowing and he will always be on your mind and in your heart. You are so strong because I know if my once in a life time love passed away… I … there would be no light without him, no life, no love. I would be so caught up in what could have been that I would end up slowly killing my self day by day. I am here for you even though I don’t share how I feel. you have someone and I know Cooper is watching out for you in heaven, he will watch you for eternity. And when you find your way to heaven back to him, you’ll finally know, what could have been.. RIP what could have been

Getting to know you was the most wonderful adventure… It was like suddenly discovering the love of my life and my best friend all in one. There were moments when I was almost afraid that this couldn’t be real…. That YOU couldn’t be real… Everything about you was just too perfect and we were so compatible it just didn’t seem possible. But I surrendered to the feeling… let it take me where I knew I was fated to go and I’m so glad that I did because it allowed me to get to know you and in getting to know you I was getting to know myself because YOU are other half of me. It was discovering new things about myself I never knew and remembering things about myself I thought I’d lost like my childlike joy and ability to laugh loudly and love deeply.
Finding you brought a magic and a joy into my life unlike anything I have ever known…. and there is not a day that goes by I am not grateful that on a planet of over 7 billion people, I was lucky enough to find you.
—  Ranata Suzuki Despite our outcome this will always be true
And now that you are gone, I am going crazy. I randomly burst out into tears and I can’t stop screaming into my pillow trying to tear it apart. Because I am furious with you, with myself. Where did you go, why did you leave?
—  Excerpts of stories I’ll never finish// #183
Where did you come from? It was like the universe just knew that I needed someone, and here you are. I don’t know if there’s this grater force that brought you to me, or if I’m just the luckiest person in the world, but stay. Stay by my side and don’t ever leave. I don’t remember what life was like without you anymore, and I don’t think I’d ever want to go back to that.
— 

-Your presence was what I needed.

-m.t.t.

9

So I’ve been overwhelmed by the black panther comicon appearance and I’ve been dwelling on how revolutionary the black panther movie is going to be, what it’s going to mean to countless people when this movie comes out and how long we still have to go, So I decided to put this short photoset together to illustrate exactly how big of a deal it is and how it is bigger than one person.

it’s so bittersweet because when I was younger (especially growing up where I did, a black kid in Finland) I really wished I had more access to imagery and media that reflected who I was because it would have made my life radically different for the better and I wouldn’t be at 26 (STILL) doing damage control but on the flipside, I’m so in awe of all of the beautiful talent in 2016 that younger black kids are able to see and be inspired by.

I think I was like 4 years old when I conciously picked up race and color via watching Disney’s “Aladdin” and I noticed how Jafar, the evil royal guards etc the villains were more ethnic looking or a shade darker than the “good” characters.

it’s insidious because you’re seeing something but at age 4, you don’t have the comprehension skill or knowledge to break it down and see it for what it is (Colorism, Societal bias against black people which is rooted in centuries of white supremacist doctrine, society associates things that are dark/darker colors with evil, danger, ugliness, dirt etc) and reject it.

so you pick it up and see it on a surface level and you think to yourself “well darker must mean ugly, criminal and less human”…then what happens when you look at yourself in the mirror and find out that you are black?


  how is that going to impact how you see yourself?

and guess what? if a 4 year old black kid can pick that up and internalize that about him/her/themselves….then a white kid can sponge up the same language and imagery that dehumanizes black people too (subconciously/conciously)…what happens when when these people grow up? become teachers, doctors, law enforcement etc? what kind of impact is that going to have?

I’m going off on a tangent and that’s just one personal example but society does that on a global grand scale and it is largely unchecked.

but honestly though,look at the photoset and think about how many talented people out there that we love and respect….who would NOT have achieved the things they did if it wasn’t for another person before them inspiring them to reach their goals and acting as trail blazers when it seemed as though it was impossible….then think about the flipside and how many people, with all the potential in the world, never lived to become great because they were met with more images dehumanizing them than ones uplifting them…this is why the fight for HONEST representation is important and it continues.

argh, I didn’t plan on typing anything but I got in my feelings after watching this again

…anyway, here are some pictures to make you smile, the next gen gives me hope

and if none of that gets you going, here is a video of Michael Jackson surprising James Brown on stage and then thanking him for being his biggest influence (BET awards, 2003)

Where did all those feelings go? People spend their whole lives looking for love. Poems and songs and entire novels are written about it. But how can you trust something that can end as suddenly as it begins?
—  Nicola Yoon, The Sun is Also a Star

anonymous asked:

I'm surprised you are still about Sherlock considering that major queerbaiting they did. The trailer showed a scene where Sherlock told John he loved him yet this scene wasn't in any of the episodes

Alright, I keep getting messages like this so I’m just going to answer one and have that be it. I’m upset about what’s happened, too. This show has been the most central focus of my life for five years. I love this show more than anything else I’ve ever been interested in and Johnlock was the largest factor in that. I’ve been openly part of the TJLC community for years. I love this show. I painted the wallpaper on my wall, it stares me right in the face every time I walk in the fucking room. I love this show. This show has helped me through so many hard times and been there for me when I needed it most. This show and the people I’ve met because of it are what played the largest factor in me coming to learn more about myself and my own sexuality. This show has made me so inexplicably happy for so long, and Johnlock specifically. I am hurt and disappointed and upset by things that have happened with the most recent season and I’m extremely let down by what we didn’t get. 

That being said, everything that happened up until season four still happened and I still love all of that. I still stand by the belief that Johnlock is real, that Sherlock is gay, that him and John love one another and are in love. This is one of the biggest things in my life that brings me happiness. If that means ignoring shit I hate about Season 4 for the sake of my mental health and wellbeing then I’m going to continue to enjoy that about the show that I loved. 

As a final note in response to your last comment: The ‘I love you scene’ was in the trailer, as well as the episode. It was bait and as much as we all wanted it to be for John it was taken out of context and unfortunately it was essentially nothing. I’m just as upset and hurt about all of this, but I’m doing what I can to stay positive. You’re not the only one coming to my inbox insinuating that I should be dropping this show altogether. But if I did that my mental health and wellbeing would plummet and I just can’t afford that. I’m going to focus on what has always made me happy about this show as I go forward with it. Johnlock. TJLC. The people I’ve met. The community I know. It’s the only thing I know how to do.

2

list of things I’m unequivocally in love with  (¬‿¬) 
      (insp.)

hamilton characters as texts from our group chats
  • Aaron Burr: "yup, im full of bad decisions and shitty judgment"
  • John Laurens: "i guess nothing about me is straight *does finger guns, trips, falls down stairs*"
  • Lafayette: "thanks also kindly fuck off"
  • Hercules Mulligan: "WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH THIS TYPE OF PEOPLE Y'ALL SUCK"
  • Alexander Hamilton: "i cannot be quiet for the life of me"
  • Eliza Schuyler: "but wait till its like mad late and cuddle your way out of it"
  • Angelica Schuyler: "imma fucking grab you and throw you in the trash where you belong"
  • Peggy Schuyler: "my parents are sleeping im not going to fucking lunch they can't see if i did or not ahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAH"
  • George Washington: "stillllll i worry i'm the mum friend i can't help it"
  • Samuel Seabury: "*does jazz hands, dances away*"
  • Charles Lee: "ALL I DO IS COMPLAIN"
  • King George III: "i actually have an evil smile on my face right now sbahfjskf its so fun being in command"
  • Thomas Jefferson: "im not going to consider your opinion cause it makes mine wrong"
  • James Madison: "I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE DRAGGED"
  • Philip Hamilton: "at least im going to die with style"
  • Maria Reynolds: "i just stood in front of the mirror in my underwear for a good three minutes looking at myself like,,,, bitch"
  • John Adams: "i can't understand whats happening"
Angst Starters

[Tw: suicide, abuse, murder.]

“Can’t you see I’m hurting you?!”
“Damn it… Oh, fuck… What the fuck did I do?”
“Just leave. Please.”
“I am not your fucking kid to look after!”
“You could have pretended to actually care.”
“I’m not the one who ruined everything!”
“What do you know about my damn life?!”
“Fuck you!”
“This is not a game. You can’t be doing this to people!”
“You weren’t there when I needed you the most?”
“Where were you?! Tell me?”
“You fucking cheater!”
“You shouldn’t have saved me! I’m not worth living!”
“You’re weak!”
“You have nothing without me.”
“Who the fuck is going to love someone like you!”
“Don’t touch me ever again!”
“I will break you.”
“I’m a terrible person!”
“You can’t always run away from your problems!”
“What have you done for me?”
“No, I’m fucking done with this.”
“You’re on your own. I’m not going to risk my ass for scum.”
“I have to do this.”
“You made me do this!”
“Just leave!”
“You’re insane.”
“I know… I know… I’m so fucked up.”

Wherever We Go

A/N: Something I wrote on my plane ride to Texas. Kinda sorta cried the entire time. Enjoy xx

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You, Bucky, a Jeep, and an endless road. “Where to next?”

Contains: Call me the Fluff Lord. 


You never expected your life to be like this. Never did that little girl, so broken and hollow, ever fathom in a million years that she would ever be able to experience love; and yet here you were, waking up alongside it, all embodied in him with his soft snores stretching the limbs of the sleepy morning air in the way birds do when they sing. You, that little girl, had lived a life all within those safe arms that you found yourself instinctively nestling further within to block out the intruding sunlight poking through the curtains. Yes, you had lived forever and a day with this one - never had you been any happier.

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