my life through the lens

i have been thinking a lot about that poster that says “i am not a woman i an a lesbian” and how to navigate the world as a lesbian is so radically different in relation to how you see your body how you view sex how you relate to other women how you navigate through the world, how many times a day do i play a part where i have to pretend to relate to a straight woman in order to.. socialize, watch any piece of media, live my life.. life through a lesbian lens feels so radically different than the common narrative, it can be so isolating to exist in a world that does not exist for us, it feels so necessary to come home to the safety of other lesbians, to slip into that world of comfort and women like me and how we love and care for one another, it’s amazing how often in the day feels like we’re starved for that kind of community and intimacy that other women take for granted

anonymous asked:

Question for autistics: I see much of the community is against a cure; why is that? It seems like a lot have lots of trouble understand social stuff which can cause emotional distress, not to mention hard times with sensory things and meltdowns. With all that hard stuff, why wouldn't you want a cure? Not an attack; a genuine question.

Autism is an intrinsic part of who we are as people. There is no “normal” person beneath the autism. We are autistic through and through. Everything we experience from the time we are born is shaped and filtered through the lens of autism. As such, if we were not autistic, we would be completely different people. 

If you were offered a pill that completely changes everything about you, would you do it? Do you hate yourself enough to want to give up everything about yourself? I’m sure you have difficulties and struggles, are those enough to make you want to be a completely different person?

Probably not. While I’m sure you have struggles, I’m guessing there are also things you like about yourself. The same goes for autism. Yes, there are negative aspects to being autistic, but there are also positives, and many of us like some of our autistic traits. For instance, I like my special interests. I like how passionate I get about things. I like having a different view of the world than most people. I like stimming. Yeah, meltdowns really suck. Social difficulties can be hell to deal with. But, no matter how many difficulties I may face, I don’t want to change everything about me. 

Further, even if I wasn’t autistic, that doesn’t mean my life would be better. People of all abilities can face great difficulties in life. I could get rid of all my disabilities and still struggle. A cure would not necessarily make life any easier. Sure, I might not get meltdowns anymore, but there are plenty of worse things that can happen. 

If I were to be cured, I would be a completely different person. The way I have processed my life is through the lens of autism and all of the experiences that make up me would be processed differently if I weren’t autistic. Sure, I wouldn’t have meltdowns or other “bad” traits of autism, but I also would lose the intensity with which I feel. I would lose my passion. I would lose many of the things that give me meaning in life? Would I still be a feminist if I weren’t autistic? Would I fight for the oppressed if my life had gone differently? Would I be a writer? Would I be a musician? Would I be as compassionate? Would I be as driven to help others? What of me would be left if I weren’t autistic?

Yes, there are negative aspects to being autistic, but there are also positives. There is pain to being autistic, but there is also joy and happiness and love and community. This is why many of us don’t want a cure. 

Further, a cure is not really possible. Autism has been shown to be genetic which means that the only way to “cure” autism is to prevent it through genetic testing and abortion, i.e. eugenics. This is another reason so many of us fight against a cure. The world is telling that our existence is so terrible that they would rather we didn’t exist at all. Never mind all the great thinkers throughout history who were most likely autistic. Never mind all that autistic people have contributed to society. Never mind our humanity and worth as people. The difficulties of being autistic do not give others the right to decide we shouldn’t exist. 

There are autistic people who want a cure, and those people are entitled to that opinion. It is not my, nor anyone else’s place to tell them how to feel about their own disability. However, the majority of autistic people do not want a cure much in the same way that you likely wouldn’t want to be “cured” of being yourself. 

-Sabrina

There are times I feel like I am not wholly here. Like I am looking in on my life through a dusty old lens. I can make out the outlines of the things and the people I love, but for the most part, it is all a shadowy blur.
—  Beau TaplinD u s t y  O l d  L e n s 
I view all of life differently. I see my circumstances through a lens of faith. And i am able to declare with confidence that, even in the worst of circumstances, God is still good, and there is so much to be thankful for.
—  The Scars That Have Shaped Me

anonymous asked:

You know it's kinda cute how Isak looks sometimes really grumpy or maybe careless to people like eskild, noora, the squad maybe even, but with Even? Isak is so gentle and sweet and he takes care of him so much and I love love love that. Even has such a soft bf <3

Yes, Isak is definitely a bit different around Even, a little more sweet and little more soft. He’s is in love with Even, so it makes sense!

But tbh I think some of it also comes down to this persona that Isak constructed to fit in and be accepted, before he met Even. And how being with Even has helped Isak come into himself and be more comfortable with being genuine…

In Skam S1 Isak seems a lot more unguarded and soft. He likes cheesy love songs, he’s quick to laugh, supports his friends (particularly his rival in love Eva!), seems like he’s mostly happy with the state of things.

I’m not making the argument that he was somehow better before, or that he isn’t still all of these these things. A person can be both loving and soft and grumpy and mean sometimes…. I mean lbr Isak definitely stirred some drama, was dishonest, insecure, defensive, as well as the occasional lil shit in S1…

I do however believe that a lot of those moments in S3 when he seems grumpy or careless with other people, it was him unconsciously pushing people away because he was afraid of letting them properly get to know and see certain sides of him. Or for him to be seen in a certain way by them.

Or because he simply wasn’t yet comfortable with certain things.

The cool, tough-guy, nonchalant, and sometimes callous attitude was probably Isak posturing to gain respect from his peers.

As well as trying to keep up with all the secrets and white lies he was telling people so that they wouldn’t find out what was really going on in his life.

But now that he feels more comfortable and self-accepting, he doesn’t have the same need for validation or to assert himself like that… and so he can be super soft and caring with Even, but also hopefully with all of his friends as well.

I think they presented it so perfectly in the latest clip “drittsekken”, I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought that Isak’s look and hairstyle (a bit disheveled👌), as well as the soft smiles, are sort of reminiscent of S1. Isak is even wearing a  big comfy scarf as well as one of his knitted sweaters instead of a hoodie.


Love can set you free like that. ❤ 

Sometimes when your chapter collides with someone else’s, it is only meant to be a couple of pages. They are there to be your climaxes, conflicts, and your plot twists. These people are meant to come and go.

And sometimes when your chapter collides with someone else’s, it is meant to be an entire book. These people are there to be your plot developments and your character growth. You begin to see new perspectives on life and learn to love yourself through them. And if you hold them close enough, and they’ll become your epilogue.

—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #111
Sorry

I’m sorry for this post. its pretty depressing. I have honestly been struggling alot lately. i feel as if the walls of my soul are collapsing in on itself. I got a super cute puppy and he helps alot with my anxiety, although house training him has proved to create more. but not in a bad way. I really enjoy coming home to a little white fluff ball that looks like a wolf, wagging its tail and wanting little pets on the head, after work. It makes me feel needed as sad as that sounds. I understand that I have value somehow. 

During my trip to Colorado I met with my old mentor. He knew something was wrong when i replied, “im good.” Which is not my typical response. In face I wasn’t good. Im not good. I was sick of looking at my life that seems to be falling into shambles. its all perspective though. Im looking at my life through the lens of someone who now believes the glass is half empty, when I used to believe the cup was overflowing, always. Is the world really this hard and cold? Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world.” I am certainly living in trouble. All the time. I feel so exhausted, and tired constantly. The hard part is, I know how to get out of the funk, I know that in reality i am only believing lies about myself and my life that aren’t true. But the lies have been told so many times they seem like truth, and there is an uncomfortable comfort to them. Its familiar, I dont have to hope, or dream, or expect anything great anymore. But this was not how I am made to live, its not how we are made to live. 

We are made to live in the color and richness of a full life connected with God. A union as one. But I feel like, I am alone, in a dark room. With the lights off. The windows have been painted over with black paint, but there is a small hole in the wall where I can see people outside in a bright sunlit area enjoying each other, kissing, having ice cream, playing, having community. My mentor said, out of 99% of the people him and his wife sit with, everyone who is struggling in that percentile is struggling because they are not involved in community at all. I get it. God spoke clearly to me about what to do, and how to start living the life I was made to. At least the first steps that is. 

I am afraid though. Im tired of being a bad dude, im tired of being the lame guy, or the “nice guy” or the “friend, brother” or the guy who is walked all over. And i dont mean in romantic relationships, In general. I am smart, I have value, I matter too, you know? I know what I need to do, but I dont want to do it. I dont want to face the darkness in me with God, Im afraid he wont be there for me, Im afraid that when the going gets tough, hell leave me like everyone else. I know thats not true, but its what I am believing to be true. I constantly feel alone, and stuck. Which are two of the enemies biggest lies! We are NEVER alone, and we are NEVER stuck. 

its so bad, any instrumental music I listen to makes me start to weep. its horrible and beautiful at the same time. I finally understand and experience the deep rich tones of the instruments, but so much so they invoke such strong emotions it hurts all the while brings pleasure and wholeness. 

I am so tired of working an ungodly mount of hours. I had 37.5 hours overtime on my last paycheck….. thats almost 3 weeks in 2!!! and I am baout to start round two on friday!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Im so frustrated at everything. I want to just be alone on the top of a mountain and breath, to walk away from all this responsibility. it sucks. I hate having car debt, and my little bit of credit card debt, its not even much but it feels like 8million tons on my back. “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest” WHERE IS MY REST. He give me rest, and he always provides. Yet again, I feel like one of these days he’ll just get tired of me, and leave. if you are still reading this, bravo. You know more about me right now that my family probably. I used to write long elaborate posts, or write quotes, or post encouraging things, but this post is not so much. So I apologize for that. I dont feel  like an “intellectual” anymore. I just feel like im floating here, in existence watching everyone. 

Ill start to end it, just hang in there. One thing I really look foward to everyday is the drive to and from work. I use to hate it, but now I blast this music and just scream and cry and pray and hope that the next day will be better, than the previous. I dont know whats going on inside me. Im just tired. I would ask if you would pray for me. other than that…


Thanks! and have a good night. 

Pokeshipping Week 2016 - Day 2: If Tracey Never Joined

Ahh yes, the theme that caused all the trouble to begin with. Well, @hollylu-ships-it and I found an exploit. If we have to take Tracey out, no stopping us from putting someone else in. Which is what you’ll find out now. Here’s the accompanying artwork from Holly!

And this time I’ll have it under a “read more” line so folks won’t be bombarded by text lol. Enjoy!


Life Through the Lens

A picture’s worth a thousand words, and I’ve taken tons of them over the course of my career. I’ve already been heralded as the world’s greatest Pokémon photographer, but there’s something that I haven’t been able to do while in Kanto, and that’s get some pictures of some real tropical Pokémon.

Thankfully, I have some great friends in Ash and Misty. When I heard they were heading to the Orange Archipelago, I just knew I had to tag along. It took me a while to track them down, but when I did I was surprised to see that Brock wasn’t with them.

It’s a little weird not having Brock around, I never realized how much Ash and Misty argue with each other when Brock isn’t there to act as a mediator. I’ve been doing my best, but it isn’t easy…and at the same time, it’s been an amazing opportunity for me.

Keep reading

“A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.” ~Graham Greene

I have learned so much as I revisit my perceptions of my life. We each experience through our own lens.

Living Solarpunk Right The Fuck Now

As soon as I found out about solarpunk, I knew it was the movement for me. It’s exactly what I’d been waiting for – near future, optimistic science fiction focusing on ways to fix current ecological and social problems. 

But it’s more than science fiction to me. In solarpunk I see a legitimate way forward, and a strong aesthetic hook to convince people to adopt available methods. To me, solarpunk suggests that we don’t need to sacrifice beauty and comfort to live a more sustainable, ethical life. And I think people respond to that. I know I do. 

So I’m all in. I’m a solarpunk. I want to be as solarpunk as currently possible, and I want to insure that living a solarpunk life becomes more accessible to everyone. The lists below focus on looking at my own life, community, and choices through a solarpunk lens.

Keep reading

4

This. Little. Boy. Is. Amazing.

This child lights up the room with his smile. His laughter is so contagious it’s almost unreal. His voice makes your soul happy. His innocent curiosity for the world makes you see life through a different lens.

This is my son.

I love my son.

I will do anything for this human.

I’ve changed careers to provide for him; I’ve moved back into my mothers house to ensure a stable environment for him; I’ve chosen an enriching daycare environment for him to thrive in; I’ve left a toxic relationship to save him; I’m working on healing myself so that I can be there emotionally for him.

I will do anything for this human.

Because he’s the world to me.

And I’m the world to him.

Malec Love

Ok, so today while writing my fic I’ve been thinking a lot about Alec and Magnus and why it bothers me when people say things along the lines of:

-“They aren’t technically dating, yet”

- “They haven’t even been on their first date yet”

- “They can’t be in love, they just met”

- “They aren’t boyfriends yet, they haven’t made that official”

I want to argue with these things, but I know that’s irrational and all of these statements are technically true. So today I’ve been thinking about where I’m coming from with this. Do I just want them to be at that place yet when they aren’t because I know it’s canon? or Do I really think they are moving this quickly, and they love each other already?”

I think I figured out why I feel like they are moving more quickly than you average relationship, feelings wise. This is just me and looking at it through the lens of my own life.  I understand that others may see it differently. So just my opinion:

When you are dating someone, just going on dates and getting to know them you usually give them the best side of you…that’s when things are new and shiny and good. You don’t introduce them to your crazy family yet, you haven’t gone through any huge life altering stressful situations, or even everyday stress, and you usually haven’t had a fight or shown them the ugly parts of yourself. It’s easy and light and fun. No tough stuff. Sometimes when relationships get to the point where all these stressful things are happening, that’s when the relationship is tested. That’s when it either starts to break down or it gets stronger. You either come out better than ever, or you break up. 

Think about all of the stuff Magnus and Alec have gone through together since they met:

-Alec helping save Magnus and his friends from Valentine’s soldiers.

-Alec has to deal with his sexuality and his family issues, as well as deal with his feelings for Jace and Magnus is there along for the ride, trying to offer advice and help him.

-Alec helps Magnus save Luke’s life.

-Alec just about marries a woman, knowing he is gay and has feelings for Magnus,  to help his family, and Magnus has to esperience the pain an distress of that in several ways.

-Alec and Magnus work together to save Izzy from being stripped of her runes.

-Alec and his very public way of coming out and also letting the world know he cares for Magnus, and has backlash from his family as a result.

-Camille. Nuff said.

-Alec’s parabatai is missing and he lashes out at Magnus, showing him a frustrated and angry side of himself. He then apologizes and asks Magnus for help tracking his missing parabatai, even though the tracking itself could kill him.

-Alec just about died. Magnus literally saved his life until Jace could get to him.

-Magnus has to continually deal with prejudice from Alec’s family and peers even while doing something as heroic as saving his life.

These two men may have not gone on a single date yet, but they have spent (albeit not enough) meaningful time together. And the time they have spent together has been in the midst of life changing stress and problems. They have gone through some very tough things, each time helping each other come out unscathed. Those kinds of things change you and affect you, and they often drive you closer to a person. So, no, they haven’t been on a traditional date yet, but I’m pretty convinced that there is a possibility that they could love each other. Some people fall hard and fast. Others take their time. I feel sorta like their relationship is starting out backwards, in that all the hard stuff is happening right up front, and they will get to the soft fluffy stuff later. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t in a relationship.

Sometimes you meet someone and instantly connect and don’t want to spend a day without them. These two keep choosing each other over and over. Choosing to walk through fire for the other one. I think especially in Magnus’ case, he could already love Alec, because he has experience and knows what things like that feel like. What he just did for Alec in episode 3, isn’t “I sorta like you, buddy, pal” in my opinion. It's “let me lay everything down for you without a moment’s thought to my own safety or sanity.” Is that not love?

Sorry for the rambling, but yeah, this is just on my mind today. And please feel free to chime in your opinion. Maybe you see something I don’t :)