my life or just what's cool

An Overrated Cliché

Summary: That Spider-Man kiss video was definitely cliché and cheesy, which is exactly the reason that Spidey and Y/N have to do it.

Word Count: 2235

Warnings: Heights and Swearing.

A/N: casually drops this after almost a year without writing like okay!! okay!! please enjoy this (it has good format!!) :0 and thank you to @buckys-fossil for actually tolerating me and proofreading this, i love you!!! also this is a gender neutral fic!!!! if you followed me when i was strictly an aesthetic blog well then, hello i write fics too

Originally posted by kimtaeyoen

Summer weather was the worst.

Summer holiday wasn’t that much better, what with having cabin fever and all. It had been a week since you had left the comfort of your apartment and three hours since you flopped onto the couch and lay there. All of your friends had been busy, Michelle doing her protesting, Liz with college preparation. It left you with nothing much to do other than lounge around your home.

The fan placed on the coffee table was set on revolve and hit your body with cool breezes. Laying on your side and absentmindedly watching season three of Phineas and Ferb, you felt jealous that those children were creative enough to make the most of your summer. It was a big contrast to you, as you hadn’t done anything the entire few weeks of summer there had been.

A thought suddenly came to mind and you decided to act on it. Shutting off the TV and fan, you put on actual clothes and took care of your hygiene before fixing your hair and pulling on your sneakers. Making sure to had some money and the house key, you texted your mom.

to: mom
hey i’m leaving the apartment for the first time in days are you proud of me

It didn’t take her long to reply.

from: mom
Fine with me, I was about to kick you out and make you do something.

You laughed at her text before tucking your phone away and leaving the apartment and locking the door.

Keep reading

i`m not going to post any of your stupid asks again to start an endless discussion, i`m just going to say this and that`s all:

i have studies in philosophy, pedagogy and psychology so, as a i know things about mind/brain person i can understand the interest in serial killers/mass murderers. i can also understand fascination, also as a psychology and pathology of human mind person. taking that and combined with a horror movies fan, i`m all into dark twisted. so i made aesthetics about serial killers, as in FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, based on my studies/vision/interest and most important UNDERSTANDINGS.

BUT if you can`t see the difference between that and worshiping serial killers/mass murderers then you`re dumb af. “omg me so distortedly cool”, “i have no idea what tcc means i`m just gonna make a serial killers flower crowns page lol”,  “bla bla bullshit”. 

go get a decent human life thanks bye

@labrat-to-gymrat tagged me to post 5 things I like about myself today. I find it way easier to talk about others strengths! But here’s what I like today :)

1. My eyes are pretty cool and I’ve really only ever seen one other person in my life with similar coloring.

2. My cake decorating skills! I’m going to put them to good use this weekend for a BBQ with friends. Mmmmm. Cake ♡

3. I’m usually game for adventure. This pretty much applies to anything. I mean, going to an ice cream cone late at night could turn into just as fun of an adventure as hiking a giant mountain if you do it right.

4. Compassion for others. I like to take care of those I love and even those I don’t. Everybody needs someone to talk to at some point.

5. My organizational skills are pretty good, if I do say so myself. I have to be organized. Between sports, school, household duties, the nature of my husband’s work, and simply the obstacles of life I like to keep things running smoothly.

Thanks for the tag, Tina!!!

The Signs as Quotes from the Movie "Heathers"
  • Aries: It's not very subtle, but neither's blowing up a whole school, now is it?
  • Taurus: "You look like hell." "Yeah? I just got back."
  • Gemini: This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.
  • Cancer: Our love is God. Let's go get a slushie.
  • Leo: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.
  • Virgo: If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be human; you'd be a game show host.
  • Libra: I love my dead gay son.
  • Scorpio: Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
  • Sagittarius: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?
  • Capricorn: I say we just grow up, be adults, and die.
  • Aquarius: Why are you pulling my dick?
  • Pisces: Chaos is great. Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.

me, at home: i’m wasting my life what the fuck am i doing i should be outside and doing things i hate myself
me, outside: god i can’t wait to go home and take a nap,, this is terrible and stressful and everyone’s judging me and i want to just lay down and listen to music and stare at the wall i Hate this and myself

PACIFIC RIM SENTENCE STARTERS.

  • ‘  when i was a kid, whenever i’d feel small or lonely, i’d look up at the stars. wondered if there was life up there.  ‘
  • ‘  tens of thousands of lives were lost.  ‘
  • ‘  this was just the beginning.  ‘
  • ‘  to fight monsters, we created monsters of our own.  ‘
  • ‘  we got really good at it. winning.  ‘
  • ‘  hey, kid. don’t get cocky.  ‘
  • ‘  please, after you. age before beauty.  ‘
  • ‘  you know what i’m thinking.  ‘
  • ‘  worry about yourself, kiddo!  ‘
  • ‘  ___, listen to me!  ‘
  • ‘  suits and ties, flashy smiles. that’s all they are.  ‘
  • ‘  bad news: three guys died yesterday.  ‘
  • ‘  well, orders are orders. what else am i supposed to do?  ‘
  • ‘  took me a while to find you.  ‘
  • ‘  i can’t have anyone else in my head again. i’m done.  ‘
  • ‘  haven’t you heard? the world is coming to an end.  ‘
  • ‘  so where would you rather die? here, or ____?  ‘
  • ‘  oh, no, call me ___. only my mother calls me doctor.  ‘
  • ‘  he was 2,500 tons of awesome. or awful. you know, whatever you wanna call it.  ‘
  • ‘  shut up. i don’t love them, okay? i study them.  ‘
  • ‘  things have changed. we’re not an army anymore, we’re the resistance.  ‘
  • ‘  i didn’t know it was this bad.  ‘
  • ‘  sorry about your brother.  ‘
  • ‘  you haven’t told me what i’m doing here yet.  ‘
  • ‘  numbers do not lie. politics and poetry, promises, these are lies. numbers are as close as we get to the handwriting of god.  ‘
  • ‘  politics and poetry, promises, these are lies.  ‘
  • ‘  and this… is the point where he goes completely crazy.  ‘
  • ‘  fortune favors the brave, dude.  ‘
  • ‘  they won’t give you the equipment, and even if they did, you’d kill yourself.  ‘
  • ‘  she’s one of a kind now.  ‘
  • ‘  i think you’re unpredictable.  ‘
  • ‘  you take risks that endanger yourself and your crew. i don’t think you’re the right man for this mission.  ‘
  • ‘  wow. thank you for your honesty.  ‘
  • ‘  one day, you’re gonna see that in combat you make decisions. and you have to live with the consequences.  ‘
  • ‘  you promised me.  ‘
  • ‘  vengeance is like an open wound.  ‘
  • ‘  to me, you’re dead weight. you slow me down, i’m gonna drop you like a sack of shit.  ‘
  • ‘  i’ve raised him on my own. he’s a smart kid, but i never knew whether to give him a hug or a kick in the ass.  ‘
  • ‘  it’s a dialogue, not a fight.  ‘
  • ‘  better watch it.  ‘
  • ‘  i’m not crazy. you felt it, right?  ‘
  • ‘  this is worth fighting for.  ‘
  • ‘  if you’re listening to this, well, i’m either alive and i’ve proven what i’ve just done works, in which case, ha ha, i won. or i’m dead and i’d like you to know that it’s all your fault. it really is, you know, you drove me to this. in which case, ha, i also won. sort of.  ‘
  • ‘  are you gonna say anything?  ‘
  • ‘  you look good.  ‘
  • ‘  like when you blink your eyes over and over and over again and all you really see are like, frames. it was emotion.  ‘
  • ‘  i’m okay. just let me control it.  ‘
  • ‘  you are a goddamn disgrace. you’re gonna get us all killed.  ‘
  • ‘  why don’t you just do us all a favor and disappear? it’s the only thing you’re good at.  ‘
  • ‘  so, what, you’re grounding us?  ‘
  • ‘  one: don’t you ever touch me again. two: don’t you ever touch me again.  ‘
  • ‘  now, you have no idea who the hell i am or where i’ve come from, and i’m not about to tell you my whole life story.  ‘
  • ‘  you know, you live in someone else’s head for so long… the hardest part to deal with is the silence.  ‘
  • ‘  well, that’s classified. so i couldn’t tell you. even if i wanted to. but it is pretty cool, so i might tell you. i’m gonna tell you.  ‘
  • ‘  jesus, we can’t just sit here and watch them die.  ‘
  • ‘  let me in, i’m a doctor!  ‘
  • ‘  we have a choice here. we either sit and wait, or we take these flare guns and do something really stupid.  ‘
  • ‘  as harsh as it sounds, there is no time to celebrate. we lost people. no time to grieve.  ‘
  • ‘  how sick are you? and why didn’t you tell me?  ‘
  • ‘  i haven’t exactly had a very good day, okay?  ‘
  • ‘  we’re gonna own this bad boy!  ‘
  • ‘  by jove, we are going to own this thing for sure!  ‘
  • ‘  today, at the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other.  ‘
  • ‘  today we are canceling the apocalypse!  ‘
  • ‘  as for you, well, you’re easy. you’re an egotistical jerk with daddy issues. a simple puzzle i solved on day one.  ‘
  • ‘  i just don’t want to regret all the things that i never said out loud.  ‘
  • ‘  well, my father always said, if you have the shot, you take it. so let’s do this.  ‘
  • ‘  all i have to do is fall. anyone can fall.  ‘
  • ‘  i can’t find his pulse. i don’t think he’s breathing.  ‘
  • ‘  no. don’t go. please.  ‘
  • ‘  you’re squeezing me too tight. i couldn’t breathe.  ‘
  • ‘  where is my goddamn shoe?  ‘
From Dan’s Rush AMA
  • He’d like to possibly cover Closer to the Heart by Rush in the future
  • His favorite concert of Rush’s he’s seen (out of 11) is the R30 tour in 2004
  • His favorite thing he’s seen them play live is Xanadu
  • He doesn’t plan on trying to start playing an instrument (aside from the bass which he has said he’s mediocre at) because the band he’s got now has such awesome musicians that he wants to focus on being the best vocalist he can be
  • His favorite Skyhill song is Run with the Hunted, and his least favorite is Only One
  • His favorite Rush song to play on the bass is Fountain of Lameneth (but it’s hard)
  • It’s pretty likely that there will eventually be a new Skyhill song or album
  • He first saw Rush in 1994 in NJ at the Brendan Byrne Arena. He’s seen them on every tour since.
  • He’s hoping that next year they’ll be able to tour in the UK, and he’d like to be able to tour in Australia too at some point
  • What influenced him most from Rush is their chord choices, their worth ethic, and their integrity.
  • If he could perform vocals on one song with Rush, it would probably be Time Stand Still
  • His best Rush-related experience was zoning out by himself as a kid and letting their music take his imagination places
  • His favorite Rush albums are A Farewell to Kings, Hemispheres, Caress of Steel, and 2112. His least favorite (though he still loves them!) are Hold your Fire, Counterparts, and Snakes and Arrows
  • The most direct way that Rush has affected him is that they helped inspire him to commit his life to music.
  • His top 3 songs are Xanadu, Hemispheres, and Fountain of Lameneth
  • He started listening to Rush at 13 and he became obsessed with them. He sang their music to himself all day during school.
  • When asked how many Rush shirts he has, his answer was “Too many!!”
  • A Farewell to Kings is his alltime favorite Rush album
  • What initially caused him to enjoy Rush was that it was an awesome sound that he’d never really heard before and lyrics that appealed to his nerdy Lord of the Rings loving self.
  • His favorite >10 minute Rush track is (possibly) Circumstances
  • “ I’m more Jewish by culture than by religion. I certainly believe that there’s a lot to life and the universe that we don’t understand, and I respect anyone who finds their answers in religion, but it’s never been a big part of my life personally.”
  •  His favorite Rush show to watch is one from Rio
  • The song he’s most proud of is 6969 because it’s a comedy prog song, which is something he’s always wanted to do.
  • His favorite part of 2112 is the overture
  • Hemispheres will always remind him of his freshman year of high school. He listened to it constantly.
  • Both him and Arin write the lyrics to Starbomb songs
  • He feels an immediate kinship with other Rush fans. “We’re like a world-wide secret club!”
  • The rush album he feels is most underrated is Presto
  • The first Rush song he listened to was Roll the Bones
  • He would be interested in giving talks about music/comedy/career stuff at colleges or high schools if there was an audience for it.
  • He got into Rush at age 12 because the guy that worked at his local comic book shop (named Keith) introduced him to them. “God bless that man.” Before he discovered them he listened to a lot of Def Leppard and Nirvana
  • Q:  if you were to start your career again today, where would you start? Youtube / twitch / podcasts?
    A:  I don’t think I’d do anything differently because even the years of “failure” taught me a lot and allowed me time to improve. Once that spotlight is on you, you’d better be ready for it. I’d say start in the medium that inspires you individually the most and work as hard as you can on it from there.
  • Q:  how do you think the future of NSP has changed now that you guys have topped the motherfucking charts with Under the Covers?? You guys fucking rule and I’m so happy for you and your multitudes of success!
    A:  Thank you! We were psyched that our recent albums have charted so well, but I don’t think we’ll do anything differently. We’ll just keep doing what feels right to the best of our ability!
  • 6969 came together quickly when writing it. The video only took so long because it was such a huge jump in ambition and it has a learning curve. “If we do something like that again, things should go a lot more smoothly!”
  • The Pass has helped him through some tough times.
  • (I believe) that the lyrics he’d get as a tattoo are “ All of us get lost in the darkness Dreamers learn to steer by the stars All of us do time in the gutter Dreamers learn to look at the cars!”
  • Q: What would you say is the best dish at Olive Garden?
    A: The dish where you get up, walk across the street, and eat at Outback Steakhouse
  • He meditates in silence before a show because he’d get overhyped if he listened to music.
  • Doesn’t have a favorite member of Rush, “it’s an equilateral triangle”
  • Says Moving Pictures is usually a safe bet to start off with introducing someone to Rush
  • He picked Madrigal and Subdivisions for the first UTC because he loves them and they’re easy to sing. “I don’t know if I could hit some of those crazy high notes Geddy rocked in the 70s”
  • He thinks Witch Hunt would be a very good song to cover.  Such a great song and so relevant right now! “Quick to judge, quick to anger, slow to understand”
  • His favorite song to try and fail at on bass is YYZ
  • “ I don’t think there’s any conscious decision to have Rush influence my music, but I’ve spent so many thousands of hours listening to them, it’s inevitable that it just comes out naturally”
  •  His favorite album to work on in his career is what he’s doing now (UTC2 and Cool Patrol) because “we’ve grown so much and finally have a full band!”
  • He doesn’t mind when fans are super nervous to meet him. He was nervous when he met Rush, too, “so it’s just the circle of life!”
  • He chose bass because it was different and fun to find submelodies.
  • Q:  Hey Dan! I’m looking forward to Under the Covers 2. I started writing comedy music and NSP is one of my main inspirations. What do you wish you knew about writing comedy music earlier on in your career?
    A:  Nothing in particular really. You learn and you go and there’s no substitute for just doing something over a long period of time. Of course there are things I would change about our early work, but it was the best we could do at the time so I have to be cool with it.
  • “I listened to so much of them [Rush] growing up that it’s in my blood and unconsciously shapes the way I approach music”
  • His second favorite album flops between Hemispheres, Caress of Steel, and 2112 on any given day
  • His favorite story/message told in a Rush song→ Story is Fountain of Lameneth because it’s a beautiful summary of life. Message is Spirit of Radio where they talk about the importance of integrity in art.
  • His biggest influences are Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Genesis, Nirvana, Spacehog, and Gentle Giant (to name a few)
  • He does his best on his Rickenbacker bass but it’s just for fun. “My band already has a bass player that’s better than I’ll ever be!”

“Thanks everyone! I have to go see my family now otherwise I’d stay longer. Sorry I couldn’t get to everyone’s questions but I had a lot of fun. I’d be happy to do this again in the future!
You being fans of mine means the world to me and I promise to keep making comedy and music for a long time! Thanks to you, the moderators who set this up, and of course Rush for being an awesome and inspirational force!”

LUCID DREAMING: HOW TO

SO LUCID DREAMING!!  

Some people asked because of my TONGUE IN CHEEK POST about it the other night, well!!! all it is, is being consciously aware that you’re dreaming. You can kinda train your brain to do it and it’s fukken awesome ok!  I learned from a bunch of books I got out from the library one summer back in high school and I have kept up all the habits since then until shit got weird but we don’t talk about that

sometimes you get to a point where you can control your dream and force yourself to dream about a certain thing . either way it’s really damn neat to just have conscious awareness while you’re asleep and if nothing else, it’s something fun to do that doesn’t cost anything.

I got into it a few years before Inception came out, if you can believe it. So when that movie came out talking about the same ideas my mind was  blown 

First things first:

1) DREAM RECALL:

This is your ability to actually remember your dreams. Because imagine, even if you end up having a lucid dream,  what’s the point if you completely forget it as soon as you’re awake? Some people think they don’t dream anymore but it isn’t true, everyone dreams. Some people just don’t remember.

So Write down  all your dreams, anything that you can remember as soon as you wake up.

I just text it to myself first thing in the morning and usually they’re super disjointed and barely readable but it’s just enough to have me remember them again. even if you can only remember little snippets, the more you do this the better you can get at remembering.

2) DREAM CUES

Dream cues are these little things that make you realize you’re asleep because they differ between reality and your dreams. They’re kind of like triggers that will make you realize you’re dreaming. The idea is to check in on these cues even when you’re awake, so that when it becomes a habit in real life, it will become a habit when you’re asleep.

It’s also a good way to check if you’re actually awake because sometimes dreams are super realistic. I’ve had a lot of dreams where I woke up in my bed, then did the reality check only to figure out I was dreaming.

Different people have different ones but there’s some common ones:

-mirrors: In real life you look like yourself. in a dream you’ll look like a really distorted version of yourself or like a completely different person. I don’t recommend this one because what you see in the mirror might freak you out into just waking up lol

-counting your fingers and seeing more or less than the amount of fingers you have

-electronics that don’t work

-text that changes when you read it, look away and then read it again

-dim lights [i hate light dimmers for this reason eugh]

-loose teeth

My personal ones are the and fingers and the changing text! So in real life, I count my fingers, and read some text, look away and read it again to see if it changes.

If I have more than 5 fingers, I realize I’m asleep and that’s where the lucid part starts.

Personally for me, all of these have served as dream cues, but these two are the ones that i literally check on. Another big one for me is if my teeth are loose, it’s an automatic cue for knowing I’m asleep.

INDUCING A LUCID DREAM

So you made a habit out of checking in on your dream cues and writing down your dreams. Now how do you actually do this thing….

There are some REALLY SPECIFIC METHODS To inducing a lucid dream . Some people practice one method that brings you from wakefulness directly into a dream, with NO LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I find this a little rarer but it’s definitely happened to me

Others have the method where you fall asleep as usual, end up in a dream, and then your consciousness wakes up while you’re in the dream. This is more common I think.

my sleep science might be off but this is it as I’ve understood it.

so the general method is to go to bed super early. like 9pm. And set your alarm for Stupid O Clock. I am talking some ungodly hour that you will never be up, like 4:30.

Reason being: You will literally never go to sleep and immedeitly start dreaming. You have to have been asleep for a few hours, having gotten a few sleep cycles in. The longer you sleep, the deeper your sleep cycles run and the more restful sleep you’ll have as the night goes on. It’s only in the later sleep cycles that you start to dream.

This is the reason you’re groggy in the morning [you were just in the middle of your deepest sleep cycle] but not groggy at all if you wake up at like 12

So the goal is to wake up right before you’re gonna go into a deep sleep cycle.

Stay awake for a few minutes, go to the bathroom or something, read some stuff on lucid dreaming on your phone… You want to wake up your brain so that your mind is conscious and running even though you’re dead tired.

Now you can go back to sleep, and the conditions are pretty much met for having a lucid dream.

SO GENERALLY NOW, it’s really likely that you’re gonna have a regular dream.

But if you’ve been making a habit out of doing your dream cues/reality checks while you’re awake, at some point you’re gonna do it while you’re asleep.

stuff from the waking world carries over into dreamtown. it’s the same reason you’ll have super realistic dreams about your job or people you know.

IT’S ACTUALLY SUPER COOL When you do your dream-cues and you see different results from real life. Like I’ll count my fingers and realize there’s 6 of them and be like Ohhh shit! I’m asleep! Time to go wild.

Usually I just fly around like a motherfucker but it’s so cool to be your exact same self who is able to think about your family/friends/homework/life/memes except you’re flying

CONTROLLING THE DREAM

OK SO NOW THAT YOU’RE AWAKE while dreaming, you can  try controlling your dream. This is a bit harder to explain but in my opinion it’s as easy as focusing/dwelling on what you want to do..kind of like repeating a mantra mentally.

Like lets say you’re dreaming and you come across a house. As you’re walking towards it, tell yourself “Captain Kirk is in this house and we’re gonna have the time of our damn life.” TELL YOURSELF WITH CONVICTION! BELIEVE IT! CAPTAIN KIRK IS IN THE HOUSE! OVER AND OVER!

also try practising controlling on little things first. Like point to the sky and say “brighter” or “more purple” or “bluer” or think “I want it to be night time instead" and it SHOULD change.

STAYING IN THE DREAM

There’s 2 tricks I know of that will keep you in a dream for longer when you feel like you’re about to wake up and you don’t want to.

One is spinning: If you feel yourself waking up, try spinning around on the spot till you’re dizzy. Things will blur around you and then they will clear up and get super sharp! Especially spinning while crouching. I have no idea why this works, but it does and others have said the same thing.

The other is, when you feel like things are getting blurry, focus on ONE spot in the dream. I usually crouch and like, stare at the details and texture of the road really really close up. For some reason, pinpointing your focus on one little thing will refocus the dream.

finally,

READ UP!!

Honestly the more you read about lucid dreaming, the more likely you are to have one for yourself..Even by reading this you’re more likely to have one. It’s weird, but it works. When I would regularly read books on the topic they’d say the same thing and it was true. It’s kind of like, the fact that you’re aware that it can happen makes it likely to happen..

SO YEAH, before you go to sleep or when you wake up at 4 in the morning, google it, see what others have to say. Get your brain in gear for it. there’s lots of posts online that will probably talk about the same stuff that I have here but this is my legit personal experience with it and stuff over the years.

IN SHORT

  • DO YOUR DREAM CUES/REALITY CHECKS
  • WRITE DOWN YOUR DREAMS
  • SET YOUR ALARM FOR A REALLY DUMB TIME!!
  • HAPPY DREAMING
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie

When you meet a Stucky shipper who still likes and cares about Tony and you just have a good time fangirling over Steve, Tony and Bucky as individuals and politely respects each others ships:

Originally posted by strawberry-inc

THINGS I LEARNED DURING MY GAP YEAR

hi everybody! it’s definitely been a while, huh? i hope everyone is well and has been/ is studying hard for their end of year exams! good luck!

since my gap year is coming to an end, i decided i wanted to make a few posts about it to help some of you guys, who have been asking me about my experience, out. these are a few things i’ve learned during my gap year.

► it’s ok to be the only one taking a gap year

this was a really big thing for me. no one i knew decided to take one at the end of our secondary school career. i was the only person in my big old school, as for as i’m aware of, that chose to do so. i have to admit it’s really weird to be the only one in your friend group not going to university and experiencing that exciting time. in belgium it really isn’t a common thing to do either. especially not after secondary school. but! and this is a big but: you will. a gap year doesn’t mean you’re never going to go to uni/ college and experience the same as your friends! it’s a year out to work or discover what you really want to do in life. and if it just so happens you find out you prefer working straight away, that’s totally cool! whatever suits you! i just hope my friends learn to accept others who choose to work instead of studying instead of making them feel like they’re just too “dumb” for uni/college. we all choose different paths in life. let’s all try to live with that.

► keep yourself busy

one of the things most adults told me was to keep myself busy during my gap year, because otherwise i’d become incredibly lazy. for my part, this is so true. there were a few weeks at the start of october that i wasn’t working, and i became such really lazy. i slept in almost every day and i didn’t feel motivated to do anything. i also felt quite isolated and lonely. you don’t have to work to keep yourself busy though! you could travel, pick up a hobby, get better at something you’ve already learned, etc. as long as you’re keeping yourself busy and making the most out of your gap year! why would you be taking one otherwise?

► you will lose friends and make new ones

don’t be afraid of the fact you’ll eventually lose some old friends. the people who don’t invest in your friendship as much as you do don’t deserve you honestly! i started feeling lonely too, since a few of my friends never made any effort to keep in contact with me, or meet up with me, even though i tried time and time again. it’s totally normal and will happen to everyone.this doesn’t mean you should just give up on all your friendships though! but trust me: you’ll know what i’m talking about at some point in your life. at work i met a group of really great young people like me, and we have become a really close group of friends. we take out breaks together, go out after work and hang out on our days off. they’ve really given me the kind of friendship i was looking for, and i’m really grateful for that.

► don’t feel so guilty about having fun

this was a biggie for me. i can’t really explain it, but i started feeling guilty about having so much fun. in school there weren’t that many times i went out or hung out with my friends because i was focusing on studying, so whenever i made plans this year, i felt really weird about it. almost as if i was having too much fun? this is a really silly feeling and i’ve learned to let that part of me go. it’s important to bond with your friends and yourself by exploring places and making memories. don’t feel bad about it.

► money, money, money

i think everyone has a hard time figuring out how to budget and save the first time round. (if not: you should write a book for all of us who did struggle!) i’m in a position where i can save a very large part of my money each month because i only pay my parents a little each month. keeping in mind, my goal was double of what i started with, i’m incredibly close. i’m using all my money to pay for my tuition fees for 2 years and part of my rent, so i’m doing a great job so far, even if i do say so myself.  it’s not so easy for others, and it’s so normal to struggle if you’re not used to working and earning a steady income each month. don’t be too hard on yourself about this: you’re young and clueless.

► in the end: it’s only one year

it’s really easy to get it into your head that this year is going to be hard and will feel like it lasts forever, but time honestly flies. when i first starting on the first of july time seemed to go so slowly. every day seemed to last an age, and i wondered what it would feel like to only have a few months left. i’m at that stage now, and every day seems to fly by. i was told it would take me six months to get used to working, but it only took me 3. by the time october came around i was so used to getting up at a certain time, finishing at 6pm, coming home, eating, practicing on the piano and going to bed. it doesn’t seem that exciting, but we’re all creatures of habit and routine. i feel like i’ve changed a lot as a person, but also like i haven’t at all. in some aspects i’m much wiser, but at the same time i still feel like a lost kid. a year really isn’t a long time at all. 

those were just some things i’ve learned so far. i still have a total of 9 weeks left until i’m packing up and flying to barcelona to start an incredibly exciting chapter of my life. who knows what will happen! i’ll be making a few more posts about gap years, so if you’re interested in taking one, just keep an eye out!

lots of love, lou.

sooo,,, I had major phan feels and wrote a song about it and decided to share it with you!

(disclaimer: this song is written intentionally as if dnp are together, i’m not assuming anything, nor saying they are together. don’t attack meh)

(verse 1)
we didn’t know
what would come of this
we never thought
our worlds could come together

(pre chorus)
but i’m so glad you’re by my side
next to me in life
and i just wanna say
how much you mean to me

(chorus)
you are the moon and i am the sun
shining so bright from up above
holding each other hand in hand
singing along like we planned
you are the piece that fit to my puzzle
though i’m afraid to get in trouble
nothing can hide the way i feel for you

(verse 2)
llamas lions and badgers oh my
what did we get ourselves into this time
trying to keep our cool in the spotlight
with you right beside me it’s so clear
that we were meant to end up here
do what we love and say hello internet

(pre chorus 2)
but i’m so glad you’re by my side
next to me in life
and i just wanna share
all the success of our careers 

(little oh’s and ahh’s)

(2nd chorus)
i’m not afraid to get in trouble
cause nothing can hide the way i feel
for you  

Do not steal or repost my lyrics!!
don’t be that guy ;) 

POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

[image description: six tweets from the cast of Critical Role

Marisha Ray: Stumbled upon a theory that #CriticalRole ( and VM) has predetermined rolls and story beats….. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. AHAHA! HAHAHA! Oh man…

Liam O’Brien: Uh..! UhhhhhNOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG..!!

Liam O’Brien: (diligently rehearsing all the face planting we do)

Taliesin Jaffe: It’s true. @matthewmercer doesn’t have cool environments under the sheets that we never see. It’s just cake for after the show.

Matthew Mercer: Oh man…that would make my life SO MUCH LESS STRESSFUL.

Liam O’Brien: image post that reads ‘we don’t know what we’re doing’]

“Azriel?” Elain said into the darkness. Her breath was warm on his chest.

“Hmm?”

“You live alone.” It wasn’t a question, but he hummed a yes. “Sometimes I feel as if I live alone.”

She was lying on the floor beside him, tucked into his arm. He’d been ready to let her sleep on his bed, had made himself a place to sleep on the couch, but she’d refused. She’d said the couch would be too small for him and that she wouldn’t feel right taking his bed. He’d allowed it. 

But then he’d gotten to his barren room. The mattress low to the floor on a wooden frame he’d made all those years ago. He’d taken one look at it and had pulled the sheets, dragging them to the living room where he’d decided to sleep on the floor.

He’d told himself it wasn’t because he hated sleeping alone, or because he thought Elain needed a friend, or because there was nowhere he’d rather be than next to her…

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you do a pref where you and Harry are having a serious fight, but mutually decide to put up a happy front around others. And everyone buys it, but one of the other guys notices that somethings wrong between you two. And he pulls you away and is like "spill" and you confess everything and you break down crying

This was no-doubt the worst fight of your relationship.

“You can’t just leave me and Darcy here while you go shoot a six month movie in France!” You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air. Harry tightens his jaw, and he basks in his silent fury while you go on and say, “We’re in a marriage, Haz! That means you can’t just pick up and leave anytime you want to!”

“This isn’t anytime, though!” Harry yells, fist colliding with the wall. You filch visibly, but that doesn’t stop him from scaring you. “This is a once and a lifetime opportunity! My movie screen debut! I could win an oscar or–”

You sigh exasperatedly, “Do you hear yourself!” You tear your fingers through your hair and your breathing becomes laboured. “You’re saying a goddamn oscar is more important to you than me and Darcy.”

“AT LEAST AN OSCAR WON’T LEAVE ME!” Harry screams and the plaster on the wall crumbles under his fist. 

Your chest heaves up and down and a moment of silence goes by before you whisper, “That was two years ago, Styles. And I didn’t leave you. I just thought it would be better for all of us if Darcy and I lived with my parents while you were on your tour, so she wouldn’t keep asking where daddy was–”

FUCKING EXCUSES!” He screams, and you start crying. You didn’t understand why he was so furious at you. He takes a step closer to you, teeth grinding. His voice lowers to a deadly whisper, “Sometimes I wish I didn’t love you so much because I’m giving you everything you need to rip out my heart and let me bleed out.”

Your eyes crinkle at the sides, and you fold your arms over your chest. “So you’re saying you regret falling in love with me?”

Harry looks at you, right in the eye, for the first time that night. He can see how much his answer will impact your next actions, so he takes a few moments to think his answer through. But apparently he’s too blinded by rage to choose wisely because he says, “I don’t regret falling in love with you. I regret taking that love and letting it control my life.”

You furrow our eyebrows and shake your head slowly, vision blurred with tears. “You don’t mean that,” you give him another chance to change his answer.

But his eyes are still trained on yours as he says, “I do.”

And just like that, the two words that started your marriage are the same words that are ending it.

WE’RE HOME!”

Both of you wince as you hear the door swing open and the sounds of your four-year-old daughter Darcy being carried by Louis, who is followed closely by Niall and Liam, fill the living room.

You quickly rush over to the sink, rinsing our face to make it appear as if the wetness of your cheeks came from a facial wash. Harry quickly hangs a calendar over the hole in the wall he had created, and is quick to walk out to greet the guests.

Struggling to hold back tears, you watch as Harry greets Darcy with a kiss on the cheek. How can somebody who regrets having their own daughter still smile at her? 

“Hey Y/N.” You turn around to see Liam exiting the kitchen, a glass of cold Cola in his hand. His eyebrows knit together as he sees the red outlining your eyes. “Is there anything wrong?”

At those words, Harry quickly turns to you, and you hesitate as you tell Liam, “No…I just got soap in my eye…that’s all.” Your husband turns back around and rocks Darcy back and forth in his arms as he and Niall discuss sports. Liam’s eyes are still trained on you, however, and he’s not buying your lie. 

“Come on,” Liam pulls you by the elbow, abandoning his glass on the kitchen counter as he leads you into the downstairs bathroom. He locks the door, and whispers, “Spill.”

You shrug nonchalantly, trying to pass off as cool. “Nothing’s wrong, Liam. Just soap in my eye, like I told you–”

“Bull,” he calls you out. “Y/N, do you know overtime you lie your cheeks heat up?”

You feel them heating up now. “What? No they don’t,” you try but fail miserably. Huffing out a breath, you confess, “Fine. Harry and I had a fight.”

He didn’t have to prompt you for you to break down crying, “And he said he regrets letting our relationship play such a big role in his life. That means he regrets marrying me, having Darcy, and–”

“Harry would never say that,” Liam interrupts you, baffled. “He’s not that kind of dude.”

“Well…he did.”


Liam storms out of the bathroom, and points an accusing finger at Harry. “Styles, you selfish–” about to say bastard, but sees Darcy peering up at him curiously, so he settles for “–respectful, successful, talented man.”

Harry looks more confused than ever, but when Louis steps in to take Darcy upstairs to the loo, his eyes find yours and he sighs deeply. “Liam, whatever Y/N told you–”

“Is true,” he interrupts. “How could you say those things to her? And mean them?”

“I–”

“Liam, you’re not our couple therapist,” you step in and shoot a sad smile at him. “Thanks for trying, though.” You turn to your husband, and your expression immediately hardens. 

“Go shoot that fucking film, Darcy and I can survive without you.”


part two