my life is more boring than your life

It sucks so much when I want to be so much more to you, I want to be the person you can’t get out of your head. But I’ll never be more than just another body you use when you’re bored.
—  I’m weak.

natalie-j-cross  asked:

Just wondering, how do you manage to stay motivated? I always struggle to do so. Thanks!

Honestly speaking, I really struggled with staying motivated in my final two years at uni. Basically, this gif was an accurate representation of how I felt up until graduation: 

[assuming that I got out of bed at all. tbh. you can track some of it here.] 

Here’s a few things that helped me stay somewhat motivated aka: 

“mate, teach me how to give a shit about my studies”

1. Start small. 

Sometimes, its just a matter of momentum. Start with a small task for the day. Something that can be completed in 10-20 minutes. Knock off the easiest things on your list of things to do. That way, even if your arvo falls into an endless pit of procrastination, you’

2. Target your study method.

I think one of the strongest demotivators was studying for long hours and then failing to get the results I wanted. On my lowest days my thought process would be something along the lines of, “what’s the point of studying this - heck, I’ll just do as poorly as last time.” 

The only way to get over that was to target my study for the examination at hand. I saved a lot of time whilst achieving decent grades. Two birds, one stone.  

3. Shake things up 

Study the same shit but in a different way. Whether that be writing notecards, finding videos online, group study, drawing up some mindmaps, screaming it at the mirror. 

4. Look for inspirational shit 

Whether it be something related to your field of study or not. It might be as simple as going on a youtube spiral on an aspect of your field of study, or finding an aspirational figure. 

If you’re the type that responds to motivational quotes - great! Print out great A3 sizes of motivational quotes and plaster them all over your study space. 

Personally, I respond better to the the dry humour sarcastic motivation. In that respect, #reallawblr and @lawschoolruinedme were very much my sources of inspiration. 

TL;DR find what inspires you. 

5. Fuck it all 

Look, sometimes you need a break from studying in order to get back into studying. Kinda like those long term old-couple relationships you see in tv soap operas where the biggest plot point of the season is “oh, I’m so bored of my long term partner, how will I ever keep this relationship alive!” (bad analogy, but i feel like this is a good time to admit that I’m running on 2 hours sleep here).  

Remind yourself of who you are outside of your school/university life. You are much much more than the sum of your academic achievements.

….to be frank, I found that I needed to take a small break from studying in order to be motivated ‘to’ study. That includes pursuing interests outside my academic life - catching up with friends, tv shows, heck even doing physical exercise.

Heck, you might even find a new hobby! I got into hockey due to a procrastination spiral. 4 months on and I’m a frickin’ hockey nerd. And i live in Australia, where there’s hardly any ice/snow to speak of. 

And that may mean stop trying so hard to find motivation. Because that may be exhausting. While I know many people turn to studyblr as a source of motivation, I’ll admit there was a long period where I just had to avoid studyblr. Because it was draining to come home to posts about pens/study/stationery/TIPSFORA4.0GPA or whatever. After a 10 hour stint of study, the last thing I wanted to do was to spend my free time talking about studying lmfao. 

My ramblings aside, here’s a list of ‘targeted’ tips that may help with those motivation levels!! 

All the best hun! 

I had a realization the other day that seems obvious in retrospect, but I hadn’t put these two things together before.

I was telling my mom that I’m kind of dreading having a private practice someday because it’ll mean working lots of late nights to accommodate my clients’ schedules and make enough money, and as I know from working 12-8 last year, that’ll wreck my social life. She was like, “So you’ll have a social life on the weekends.” And I’m like, and what, spend every weekday night alone in my apartment because it’s too late to go out and see people? She gave me this knowing look and was like, “Well, hopefully you won’t be *alone*…”

That’s when it hit me that this thing–this whole monogamous couple/nuclear family ideal thing–directly enables work to take over our entire lives. Because, yes, if I had someone living in my house–in my bedroom, even–who prioritizes me higher than anyone else in his (because, let’s face it, it would always be a he in this scenario) life, who doesn’t sleep with or date any other people, who treats his free time as our shared time, who drops plans with friends or family the moment I need him, who convincingly promises to never leave me–if I had someone like that, and if I believed in that fantasy, then yes, I’d be fine working late every night and coming home at 9. I could see my friends on weekends sometimes, but I wouldn’t *need* to because I’d never be lonely or bored.

Because however you look at it, cultivating and maintaining a group of friends and a broader social circle or community takes more effort–especially more *intentional* effort–than cultivating just one person with whom you share your life. When we have to work unreasonable hours just to get by, guess which one’s more likely to fall by the wayside?

No wonder it feels like my like-minded friends and I are constantly wading through waist-deep snowdrifts. It’s not set up to work the way we want it to. Yes, life would be easier if I had someone who is always a few yards (or less) away from me when we’re not at work and who can provide romance, friendship, emotional support, entertainment, household help, financial assistance, AND hot sex (and maybe eventually co-parenting) without me ever needing to seek out other people or even leave the house. But that’s…horrifying.

#SuccessfulSaturdays

 If It’s Hard - You Can Quit.

 If someone told you it was going to take you 16 years to be successful - would you quit at year 12? If your answer is anything but no - you are lacking something vital for your success. The trait I’m referring to is resilience - which is being able to keep moving forward after continual setbacks.

My business mentor Gary Vaynerchuk said it’s like that Rocky movie where the guy gets punched in the mouth and spits the blood out and keeps going. This is the definition of resilience - it doesn’t matter how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

I’ve seen so many people give up on their “passion” after the first hurdle. I knew someone that loved to sing but rarely practiced - she went for an audition and they turned her down. Instead of becoming more determined to get better at her craft - she gave up and settled for being unfulfilled.

When you settle for your life instead of working towards something you want to achieve - this invites bitterness and resentment. My early journey was filled with people who were focused on tearing down others who were trying to achieve - purely because they had given up on doing so themselves.

I want to encourage you to think about what you want to achieve in this life and then think about how empty and boring your life would be without this sense of achievement. That boredom and emptiness is usually filled with dysfunctional behaviour like gossip, narcissism & self-destructive tendencies.

The idea that there is nothing more to this life than what people think of you, material possessions and money is ludicrous. You can fill your life with meaningful experiences, relationships and interactions that revolve around what you are passionate about. 

The question is - Are you willing to work for it?

Resilience is how hard can you get hit and keep moving forward.

Peace & positive vibes.

I can’t connect with people.

I watch as you all write how you are, yet your lives are so much different from what I see.

Lost in messages hidden behind screens, taking pictures of lost moments of a wondrous life you lead. Living loves between shadows and “friendships” that are shared like high school memories of the “cool” crowd while I’m the band geek.

When I open up I feel I bore you, and though I’ve lived more life than most, I feel like I am being overbearing, a show off, arrogant, and a jerk. And while most write about lives they want to live I’m writing about a life I’ve lead. There are moments I will always cherish and many more I want to forget.

Sure, we all live a life of grandeur, but as I see from the comfort of my tranquil tranquility, we all want the same. Help me to find my purpose, my reason, once again.

Cause I can’t figure out what exactly is wrong with me…

-H. Murcia 3:57PM 6/13/2017

I Am An Alpha Ch 4: He’s Here

“He’s here.” Jin and I say at the same time the moment the leader is on the property.

Jin sniffs the air again, “And he has another one with him.”

“What is that, six so far?” Tae mentally counts each man we’ve met.

“I wonder if there are any more?” Jimin muses.

Hoseok chuckles, “Do you think you’ll be able to handle more than six?”

I glare at him, “I’ve had to deal with you idiots for 100 years, I think I can manage my mates.”

“Make sure you don’t loose that fiest of yours, it’ll make life more fun,” Yoongi sighs as he strokes my head. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. He nuzzles my hair before placing a few kisses on my head. “Our life is going to be pretty boring without you now.”

I lean into his embrace and rest my head on his shoulder, “I’m going to miss you too Hyung.”

“They are about to come out so we should get the goodbyes out of the way. They didn’t appreciate you holding on to Jin hyung but they dealt with it but I doubt they will allow you to hug all of us,” Namjoon advises with his arms open to me. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. “I’m going to miss you little wolf.”

“Stop saying that stuff, you are going to make me cry,” I huff, trying my best to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

“None of that,” Jimin shushes me before pulling me into his embrace, “We don’t need them coming out here to you bawling your eyes out over us.”

“I can’t help it,” I whimper, suddenly feeling vulnerable with the realization sinking in that this is a real good bye. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I haven’t been away from you guys for more than a few hours since we met. I have never slept more than a mile away from Jin, I don’t know how I’m supposed to go from this to being all by myself.”

“You won’t be by yourself, you have plenty of mates to distract you. They will be fighting to spoil you with attention,” Hoseok tries to cheer me up as he takes his turn hugging me.

“You don’t need us anymore mama wolf,” Taehyung gives me a sad smile, he pinches my cheeks. “You are going to finally have a real home.”

“Taehyung-ah,” I grab his jacket and pull him closer for another hug. “You guys are my home. Even though this wasn’t the way I had planned my life as a kid I’m happy we all met.”

“Stop with all the mushy stuff and come over here,” Jin demands softly. His hug is the tightest, he knows there is a good chance that we may never be able to do this again. Once I’m with my mates they won’t let another alpha near, let alone touch me. They only are restrained because they haven’t actually caught my scent yet. The moment catch my untainted scent we all know their alpha instincts are going to kick in and they are going to loose it if one of my pack members even looks at me the wrong way.

Suddenly Jin releases me and everyone gets into the same position we were in earlier. Even though I’ve seen most of them before I find myself hiding behind Jin once again, only afraid of a particular wolf. Peeking over Jin’s shoulder I see five men coming out of the back door. Three are from earlier, Baekhyun, Tao, and Sehun, I believe their names are. One of the new ones doesn’t feel as threatening as the others, he’s about Baekhyun’s height, with short black hair. He’s undeniably attractive, a perfect V shaped face, wide shoulders, nice hips. As much as I enjoy looking at him I force myself to ignore his good looks and amazing scent to follow my nose to the familiar scent tickling my nose.

The smell of firewood fills my nostrils blocking out any of the other scents, dominating my senses. My eyes lock with golden ones that belong to the tall blond man leading the group. He’s taller than Tao with sharp features that remind me of a dragon. Dressed in a full black suit he looks incredibly handsome, I find myself biting my lip as my eyes scan him up and down. The group of men stop a few yard from their house leaving a good distance in between us.

“I hear you are here for your pup,” The man questions. His voice is deep like I always imagined it would be. It feels so surreal to finally see him again and in his human form, he is just as beautiful. My hands on tighten their grip on Jin’s shoulders to keep them form trembling. As happy as I am to see him I can’t help but remember the terrifying moment of him on top of me, teeth snapping, his monstrous growls echo through my ears. I gulp, something every wolf notices.

“Yes we are,” Namjoon answers, standing as tall as he possible can to show he’s not intimidated by the older wolf. “We apologize for trespassing on your property, as soon as we get our pup we will be out of your hair.”

The man stares at Namjoon as if he is ready to kill him, “I also hear you are using our mate as a bargaining tool to get your pup back.”

“Hold on one second,” Joon tries to defend himself but the man gives him no time.

“You are disgusting,” The man spits. “What kind of alpha uses a innocent omega as bait? Are you not strong enough to take your pup back by force? You shouldn’t be allowed to call yourself a head alpha if you can’t even protect your pack.”

“Watch your mouth,” Jin snarls back.

The man’s eyes shift to Jin and I. He sniffs the air before wrinkling his nose in disgust, “I know this smell. How could I forget the man who shot me?”

Jin chuckles dryly, “So you do you remember?”

“Of course.”

“Does that mean you remember me?” I question as I step out form behind Jin. All eyes shift to me, I watch him with my head cocked to the side, suddenly not feeling so bashful. It would be a lie to say that I’m not upset that he couldn’t recognize me all those years ago. His eyes narrow on me but he says nothing. “Maybe this helps,” I take Jin’s hat put it on, making sure to keep my hair out of my face. Those golden eyes of his go wide.

“The boy I attacked.”

“This is getting off track,” Namjoon brings everything back around, “Where is our pup?”

“We are in the middle of something,” The man rages.

“He’s right though,” I interject,  “Where is Jungkook?”

He growls and mumbles something under his breath before sharing a look with the other wolves behind him. I scan the house when he waves back to Sehun who dragging Jungkook out behind him. My fists clench at my sides at the sight of my pour beaten pup being thrown into the snow in front the pack of men. We all take a step forward, ready to run to him but the chorus of growls from the men stop us.

“Here is your pup, now hand over our mate,” The man snaps. My pack looks to me, I know they don’t want me to really go but I have to, not just for Kookie but for my wolf who is scratching at my insides to run to them. My wolf instincts and my human mind battle for dominance in the situation. My mates are there waiting for me but so is Jungkook. He looks up at me, one eye almost swollen shut, blood is running down his face, he looks about ready to cry. The pup stands up on shaking legs and begins wobbling towards us. I can’t control my legs anymore, I find myself running full speed into the field but not to my mates.

I reach Kookie in no time and tackle the pup to the ground, straddling his hips I rest on top of him with my arms around his neck and his face tucked into the crook of my neck. He cries softly in my embrace, wrapping his arms around me as he mumbles thank yous under his breath.

“Hyung I was so scared,” He cried louder this time, “I missed you so much.”

I shush the younger, “It’s okay Kookie, I’ve got you.” For a moment all feels right in the world with that pup in my arms, but that doesn’t last long. The growls start again, this time from both ends of the field. I look up at my mates, I see no more golden hues, instead I see blood red eyes staring down at me. The dominance radiating off them keeps me down on all fours and commands my inner omega to bare her neck and beg for forgiveness. But the alpha I was raised helps me to be able to bare my teeth a let out a growl of my own.

“Get away from that mutt,” The leader snarls.

“This mutt is my pack member and my pup,” I snap back, surprising not only myself but also every wolf there. The surprise is gone from their faces a minute later when their inner alphas rage in jealousy and anger. I try to stay strong but they continue to pour more and more pheromones into the air making it hard for me to breath. Black splotches begin to appear in my vision as I try to stay up, my heart is racing and my breathing becomes labored. Kookie notices and quickly tries to control the situation by cupping my face.

“Hyung calm down,” The young alpha commands.

“They hurt you Kookie,” I snap back.

He shakes his head, “I’m fine Hyung, please calm down and stop this stand off. You are over working yourself.”

“I’m fine,” I lie.

“You are having an attack, you need to look at me,” He demands. I hesitantly break eye contact with the man to look down at Kookie. “Now take a deep breath. Forget about those men, just focus on me, okay?” Without any hesitation I follow his commands like I have a thousand times before. His thumbs are stroking my cheeks, the heat from his beaten body draws me in and I relax against him. “Rest Hyung,” He whispers this last command as I burry my face into the crook of his neck and breath in his familiar scent, it reminds me of a rainstorm. Another moment passes and I find myself completely exhausted. Sleep is impossible to fight, regardless of my panicking pack members rushing towards us and my mates joining in the race, teeth bared, ready for a fight. I just can’t ignore it.

MURDER BALLAD: A NEW MUSICAL LYRICS SENTENCE STARTERS.

  • ’  someone’s gonna die.  ’
  • ’  from new york to berlin come stories of true love gone awry.  ’
  • ’  we all want to touch the flames but not get burned.  ’
  • ’  there’s always a killer so logically someone has to die.  ’
  • ’  you’re brighter than the sun and i revolve around you.  ’
  • ’  after three years it became clear, with close inspection, no one’s perfection.  ’
  • ’  aren’t you scared you’ll say, when you’re old and gray, a better life has passed you by? and i’d be the reason why.  ’
  • ’  free will and fate both play their part.  ’
  • ’  trust no one. stay on guard.  ’
  • ’  i don’t want the sun, i’m safer in the static.  ’
  • ’  it’s two a.m., i’m drunk again.  ’
  • ’  what did you come here for if you don’t wanna kiss? doesn’t anybody want to kiss me?  ’
  • ’  is your heart broken? did mamma ever tell you, bad boys, they don’t stay?  ’
  • ’  all men are assholes.  ’
  • ’  shut up and kiss me,  ___.  ’
  • ’  slow down, baby. quiet your mind.  ’
  • ’  come on, let me ease your troubled mind.  ’
  • ’  sleep. that’s what we do at night.  ’
  • ’  don’t pretend that things are alright.  ’
  • ’  don’t make me a promise. people take those away.  ’
  • ’  i don’t want anyone to love me — but i do want you to stay.  ’
  • ’  i will conquer this damn city.  ’
  • ’  won’t fall in love again, no, never again.  ’
  • ’  a baby changes everything.  ’
  • ’  you don’t understand. you will never understand.  ’
  • ’  slow down. listen, please hear me.  ’
  • ’  you, you are the morning. you start each day anew.  ’
  • ’  i’m trying but this darkness won’t let go of me.  ’
  • ’  how did i become so useless in this time and place?  ’
  • ’  oh, god. i love her smile.  ’
  • ’  things got turned around, fucked-up mistakes that broke us down.  ’
  • ’  man, don’t be a fool. she’s not coming back for you.  ’
  • ’  i had a dream of us in our sixties. was a cold winter night in new york city, walking down a cobbletone street. empty, but you were holding my hand, smiling at me.  ’
  • ’  a kiss like a mouth tattoo burns in me and i don’t know what i’ll do.  ’
  • ’  but if i choose to scald my story, does it mean that i’m in love with you?  ’
  • ’  let me count the ways i love you, and then i’ll count the ways i don’t.  ’
  • ’  she’s the kind of pretty to scare the words away.  ’
  • ’  drop the briefcase, grab a cup of coffee, talk romantic poets.  ’
  • ’  their words are yours to build upon.  ’
  • ’  don’t forget the thing.  ’
  • ’  you walked in and chipped out a little piece of my heart.  ’
  • ’  stopped clock, doors locked, let’s shut the world out.  ’
  • ’  i never knew a sound could ease my pain until i heard your voice speak my name.  ’
  • ’  don’t stop, but don’t say that you love me.  ’
  • ’  tears look so damn beautiful glistening on the screen, but no one thinks they’re pretty in a real-life crying scene.  ’
  • ’  if you’re awake, we can talk.  ’
  • ’  we could stay in bed all day just like we used to do.  ’
  • ’  don’t ask how long. we’re built for longing.  ’
  • ’  we all want the sun and skies.  ’
  • ’  maybe a baby or two. a better life, i promise you.  ’
  • ’  you and me were made for wanting. we’re always gonna want for something.  ’
  • ’  i’m only here to say goodbye. we both know the reasons why.  ’
  • ’  i fucked up, and i’m to blame. i’m gonna right this wrong.  ’
  • ’  where are you? answer me.  ’
  • ’  i don’t love you. i love ___, not you.  ’
  • ’  i’ve always been in love with you, i’d do anything that you asked me. don’t leave me.  ’
  • ’  we are two cats in a fishbowl. we are two dogs in a boneyard.  ’
  • ’  you belong to me.  ’
  • ’  so many alibis. go on, choose your lies.  ’
  • ’  i know how happy we could be. what the hell was wrong with me?  ’
  • ’  i’ll start my whole life up brand new.  ’
  • ’  you haven’t aged a single day.  ’
  • ’  don’t say a word. don’t wanna hear your lies, don’t you even try.  ’
  • ’  little by little, i knew something was wrong.  ’
  • ’  does this life bore you? did you have to get away?  ’
  • ’  you know we love you more than anything.  ’
  • ’  go ahead, now cry.  ’
  • ’  they think they can return to when they were younger. like life was better.  ’
  • ’  right now i feel like i could do anything i wanna do.  ’
  • ’  i wanna watch them bleed. i’ll use my imagination and walk on it — broken glass, throats are slashed, their blood splattered on the wall.  ’
  • ’  playtime is over, i’m not playing, i’m done playing.  ’
  • ’  you’re mine and i’m yours.  ’
  • ’  blood looks so damn beautiful. scarlet on the screen.  ’
  • ’  it don’t take much to die.  ’
  • ’  i can say ‘cuz i was there: love and war are never fair.  ’
  • ’  please, look at me. turn around and look at me.  ’
  • ’  go on then, walk away. you’re better off without me.  ’
  • ’  please don’t say goodbye.  ’
  • ’  before you walk away, if you ever loved me, please just hold me.  ’
  • ’  you’re far too good for me. i know how much you loved me.  ’
  • ’  no one ever gets forever. only days.  ’
  • ’  i’m not erasable.  ’
  • ’  he was mine and i was his. that’s the truth, i swear it is.  ’
Jerza Week 17 Day 3 - Saviour

Rated: K

Words: 2K+

FFN


When raindrops started hitting her face, Erza heaved a sigh. She wasn’t quick enough to reach home before the rain poured down from the dark clouds that had gathered in the sky over the past hour. And she had forgotten to take the umbrella she had placed on the table before she left home to go to complete her job. How could she be so mindless? But she seemed to be distracted quite easily recently. The disbandment of Fairy Tail wasn’t something she could easily leave behind and move on without thinking about it again. More than a few times, when she was on her way to get a job done, or simply doing housework at home, her mind wandered off to the old time when she always had friends who accompanied her no matter she was taking a mission or simply staying at the girls’ dormitory.

Keep reading

11:30pm.

You messaged me tonight.
11:30pm.
Not twelve in the afternoon when you were laughing with a pretty blonde at lunch.
Not at three in the afternoon when you were busy playing video games with your friends.
Not at nine in the morning when your siblings were screaming around the house getting ready for school.
11:30pm.
Is a shitty time to come back into someone’s life.
You tore my life in half when you left.
Now you’re trying to claw your way back in at a time when you’re alone, vulnerable and sad.
Much like the state you left me in.
So tell me baby, am I supposed to drop to my knees and beg for you to love me?
Am I supposed to cleanse you of your behaviour?
Am I supposed to hug you and forgive you and tell you everything is okay?
Because no.
Fuck you.
I’m worth more than just being a hobby you pick up when you get bored.

Alone?!

Summary- Clara leaves Dean alone to babysit Maddie for the first time. 

A/N- The second part of my Dating with Children series. It will make sense if you haven’t read the first part, but I suggest checking it out.

Dating with Children Masterlist

Masterlist

“Alone?! You want to leave me alone with her? Are you crazy?” Dean exclaimed, looking at his girlfriend like she had three heads.

“Dean, please? I have been planning this girl’s night for a while and the babysitter caught the flu and can’t come. It’ll only be for a couple of hours, I promise.” Clara continued getting ready.

“Clara, I don’t know what to do with her! Sure, I’ve spent some time with her, but not a lot. And what if I do something wrong? I could totally screw up your kid. Like forever. Is that what you want?”

Clara turned around and gave him a look. “You are not going to screw her up. C’mon, you can handle a four-year-old for a couple of hours. I have total faith in you! You’re a very capable man. She’ll tell you want she wants to do, and she’ll even tell when she’s hungry for dinner. There are some very basic things in the fridge and you’re a great cook. She’ll eat just about anything. Bedtime is 7:30. Okay? You’ve got this Dean, there is no one safer to leave her with.”

Dean was not ready for this. Handling a preschooler by himself for the evening? Scarier than a nest of vamps. He’d been back to Clara’s a handful of times since the first night he’d meet Maddie and had fun. Maddie was a good kid and according to her Dean was finally starting to get the hang of playing princesses. But none the less, being left responsible for the little girl was terrifying for Dean. Sure, he’d taken care of Sam a lot when they were younger, but Dean didn’t feel like that made him experienced. He knew that Clara leaving Maddie with him was a big step.

“Please Dean, for me.” Clara ran a hand up his arm reassuringly. “I won’t be far, if anything goes wrong just call me and I’ll be home in no time.”

Dean sighed, “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Clara leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. “You’ll be fine; she’s an easy kid.”

The door had barely closed behind Clara, before Maddie whipped around to face Dean. “We’re going to have the best time Dean!”

Dean gave her a weak smile. “Alright Maddie, what are we doing first?”

“Barbies, you still haven’t played that yet!”

“Alright, let’s go.” Never in his life did Dean Winchester think he’d be sitting on the floor of a little girl’s room playing Barbies, but since meeting Maddie she had gotten him to play a variety of children’s games.

Maddie started pulled out a collection of dolls and their various outfits and accessories. “Dean, I left my Ken doll at Nana’s, so you’ll have to be a Barbie, but you can pick your Barbie and her outfit first.”

Dean stared at the various toys laid out in front of them, “Maddie I don’t really care which one, you can pick for me.”

Maddie shot him an annoyed look, “Deaaan, part of the fun of Barbies is picking your girl and dressing her up. I can’t pick for you.”

“Sorry,” Dean reached out and grabbed the closest Barbie to him. “I guess I’ll be this one then.”

“Good, now pick clothes to put on her. This shirt is like the ones you always wear.” Maddie fled up a Barbie sized flannel for Dean. He took the miniature clothing from her and tried to dress his doll. He struggled to get the old shirt off his doll; his large fingers fumbling to get her arms out. Maddie giggled as she watched him try, and Dean shot her his classic bitch face.

“You want to help me with this?” Dean held out the doll to her and she changed its outfit with ease.

“There! Okay, so this doll is mine. I named her Lily. What is the name of your doll?” Maddie looked at him expectantly. He didn’t have a name; he honestly was so confused on how he was supposed to play.

“Can’t I just call her Barbie?” Maddie tossed her head back, again annoyed with Dean’s lack of understanding. “Guess not. Umm… I guess Mary then.”

Maddie smiled at him, “That’s a pretty name.”

Dean smiled to himself, “Thanks. So how do we play?”

“You just move them around and talk. You play however you want.” She held her doll up on the floor and Dean copied her moves. “Hi Mary, I love your new shirt.”

“I like yours too.” Dean tried out a high pitched girly voice. Maddie giggled.

“Why thank you, I also got these new shoes. Do you want to try them on?” Dean groaned internally; this was going to be a long night.


An hour later, Maddie put down the Barbie she was holding and looked up at Dean, “Dean I’m hungry. Can I have dinner please?”

“Sure kid, what do you want? Are burgers good? My brother says I make good burgers.”

“I like burgers, especially with cheese.” She paused for a minute, “you have a brother?”

“Burgers with cheese it is then.” Dean scoped the child up in his arms and headed toward the kitchen. “Yep, his name’s Sammy.”

“That’s sounds nice. I always wanted a little brother or sister to play with.”

“Yeah? Mines not so little anymore, he’s taller than me now.”

“Really?” Maddie’s eyes went wide, “But you are already really tall. He must be huge.”

“He’s a giant alright.” Dean sat her down on the counter and started gathering all the supplies he needed to make dinner.

“I want to help.” Maddie excited bounced on her spot. Dean bit his lip, he wasn’t sure how much help Maddie was going to be able to be. At four-years-old there was no way Dean was letting her work the stove.

“I don’t know Maddie; the stove is hot. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I can help with the other stuff; I help my Mommy cook all the time.”

“Alright,” Dean conceded. He pulled a kitchen chair over for Maddie to stand on and work. Together they started preparing the meat, mixing onions and garlic with the ground beef. Once everything was mixed together Dean showed Maddie how to shape the patties. “You push the meat into little balls and then flatten them, like this. Good job.”

Once all the patties were formed, Dean moved Maddie to the table and started to cook the meat. When Dean placed a finished burger in front of Maddie, her eyes went wide.

“That smells really good.” She took a bite and smiled up at him. “Your Sammy is right; these are great burgers!”

“I had a great helper.” As dinner continued, he noticed that Maddie seemed to be getting tired. “Hey, maybe we can watch a movie after dinner before bed.”

“Yeah, we have to watch Beauty and the Beast. It’s my new favorite princess movie.”

“I’ve never seen it before.”

“What?” Maddie looked up at Dean with a shocked expression. “Dean, your life sounds pretty boring. You’ve never seen Beauty and the Beast, you’ve never played Barbie or tea party. What do you do? It’s a good thing you met Mommy; we’re showing you all the good stuff.”

Dean smiled, Maddie wasn’t too far off. He’d never admit it, especially to Sam, but he actually enjoyed playing Maddie’s games with her. Definitely more than he ever though. Dean was really starting to warm up to this new little girl in his life.

“You definitely are sweetheart. Meeting your mom was one of the best things to happen to me.”

Maddie leaped out of her seat and towards Dean, who quickly threw his arms out to catch her. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and gave him the biggest hug she could.

After dinner, the pair were nestled up on the couch, the opening chords of the movie playing. As the enchantress comes on screen, Maddie snuggled closer into Dean’s side, her head curled into the crook of his neck. Dean wrapped his arms securely around her, basking in the fact that there was no were else he’d rather be.


tags: @27bmm   @sammyxorae @jensen-jarpad  @deathtonormalcy56

How every John Green book/movie goes

I’m Kyle,

I’m not your average 16 year old lanky white boy with short greasy hair. I’m very unique because unlike your average teenager I listen to old rock and indie music. I live in a random ass state with a lot of trees like Minnesota. You don’t know it yet, but the trees hold a very symbolic meaning that will be revealed later. I’m tired of living my same old boring life, I need some excitement. My supportive parents understand my yearning for excitement in my life so they allow me to go to summer camp. At summer camp, I meet this very rebellious and mysterious girl called Lauren (but she likes to be called Danny because what’s more rebellious than a nickname that doesn’t have anything to do with your name?“). Danny and I become friends and bond over generic ass vintage music and I’m surprised because she’s very beautiful and I’m very ugly. I fall in love with Danny but she has a horrible past and can’t commit to anything too serious. Danny starts to reveal my rebel side and persuades me to sneak out and go on a road trip! I’ve never felt such a rush because I’m boring and very self conscious. While on the road trip, we drive past some trees which is revealed to somehow represent Danny’s love for trees because it reminds her of her childhood. Trees grow and Danny grew to to turn over a new rebellious leaf(or some deep shit like that.) One night on our trip, when I was sleeping, Danny snuck out and now I can’t find her. I panic because I love my little tree. Danny leaves a bunch of clues for me to find her because she’s so damn mysterious and I find her….dead…beside a tree. She was climbing it to gaze at the stars but missed a branch fell down (gasp). Another symbolic reference because Danny died from what she loved the most (This is some deep ass shit right hur so Its going to be a T-shirt design in a few days). I am saddened, but those few weeks with Danny are the best weeks of my life and now whenever I see a tree I think of Danny, my little tree.

Signs based on people I’ve met:

Aries - Istg, I can’t keep up with you. Too much energy. How come you don’t explode? Cool mates, but always getting in trouble. Fucking balls of light. Have a hard time admiting their faults. Stop spamming my twitter, btw.

Taurus - Can’t figure you out until you decide to actually open up. Hella fascinating people with big hearts. But if crossed once, they’re out forever. Stubborn as fuck. Need to be dragged out of their houses against their will. Have a lot of know-it-all moments, it’s kinda cute.

Gemini - They’re weird. They’re here and they’re there. I’ve met the cool ones and the uncool ones. Chill down with the flirting skills, if you may. Talk a lot and are funny as fuck. It’s hard to trust you, though. But well, you’re all sexy as fuck.

Cancer - Manipulative little shits with big hearts that cry for them when they can’t cry on their own. Sensitive people who know what to say because they actually listen and don’t just wait for their turn to talk. They’re the mom friend you both hate and love.

Leo - Queens of the drama club. Care a lot for their own. You either love them or you hate them, there’s no in-between. Need to chill tho, they’re always so defensive… not everyone is trying to dethrone you, you big fluffy cat. 

Virgo - Worrisome people at heart. Loyal friends who know how to keep their head in the clouds and their feet on the ground at the same time. But yo, Virgos, you’re not always right. And stop with the “I told you so”, it’s getting old. CHILL! Thank you for the good advices tho.

Libra - Omg, you guys are always spamming shit over my Facebook feed. I get it - yadda yadda - your love life is a mess but jfc, no one actually cares. With that aside, you guys have them brains and it’s nice to discuss things with you. You always manage to see the world from a different perspective, one no one has considered yet.

Scorpio - I kinda have a crush on all of you. Your soul is deeper than your asshole, I guess that’s why we get a taste of said asshole first. But well, even if you try to play it cool, you and I both know you have lots of feelings. Also, chill with the vampire books, okay? Yeah, yeah, you’re a badass. We know, we know.

Sagittarius - Tbh, you’re like the wind. I need small portions of your presence in my life but if it’s too much everything becomes a mess and I’ll have to kick your ass. They’re cool people tho. Once they’re in your life they’ll make sure they leave a mark so when they walk out you’ll actually miss them. Hella presence of spirit.

Capricorn - You’re not as cool as you think. You’re either hella interesting or hella boring. Like to play the victim far more often than they should, but oh well. Loyal friends. Will be real with you and will allow you to be just as real with them. Can’t really get rid of them, lol. Don’t cry on their shoulder, they will just talk shit in a cheap attempt of trying to cheer you up.

Aquarius - They’re aliens. That’s all there is to be said. Oh, also airheads at best. Feel too deep, show too little. Will live for their friends or not live at all. They’re smarter than they think. But when they do know that they’re smart they act like some smug motherfuckers.

Pisces - Change is their middle name. They’ve already reinvented themselves the second time you meet. They adapt too fast even though they’re just little balls of fluff. Don’t be mistaken tho, there’s a storm inside them. And, if you’re the right person, they’ll let you sail through the vast ocean that is their mind. Melancholy is their best friend. Call them at 4am with your shitty thoughts and they’ll be there for you. They’re heartbreakers at their finest.

Young Sam Drake x Reader

Originally posted by victorsullys

Prompt: Sam arrives at your home to tell you he and Nate have to leave. You don’t him to leave as you’re in love with him, so you try something to get him to stay.

——-/——–

You woke to something being thrown at your bedroom window. You bedroom was at the front of the house, looking over the street you lived on. You rubbed your eyes and got up to see who it was. You looked out your window and saw Sam Morgan, waving to you from the street, with his bike parked behind him. His younger brother Nathan, was sat on the bike.

You smiled thinking you knew why they were here. To adventure. You quickly got dressed and headed out the house, making sure you were quiet so you didn’t wake your parents. You closed the front door behind you and made your way to the brothers.

“So where we going tonight?” You asked stopping in front of Sam. You’ve had a massive crush on Sam for a couple of months but you’ve never had the courage to tell him. Meaning you had to watch him get with girls that you knew weren’t right for him.

“Sorry, Y/N I didn’t bring you out for that.” Sam said sadly. “Unfortunately me and Nate have to leave this place. I dragged him into something stupid and if we don’t leave we’ll be in a massive amount of trouble.” You frowned confused. What had they done? Surely nothing is bad enough that they have to leave.

“What?” You asked, looking to Nate then back at Sam.

“I’m sorry but this is all my fault. I dragged him into the house looking for our mums stuff, and then an old woman pulled a gun on us and then the police came and..” You saw Sam was starting to panic so took his hand in yours and squeezed it. Sam took a deep breathe to calm himself down. 

“You don’t have to leave Sam.” You tried to persuade him. “We can work it out.” Sam and Nate made your life actually interesting. But if they were to leave; you’re life would go back to being boring.

“That’s just the thing. They saw us. If Nate goes back to the orphanage and I go back to work, they’ll find us. And I can’t put Nate through that.” Sam urged you, pleading with his eyes to let him and Nate go.

“I get that. But do you have any idea what it’s going to do to me?” You began. “My life won’t be the same without you two. I can’t have a boring life, Sam. I sound so selfish right now, I’m sorry.” You put your head in your  hands, not wanting to cry in front of the boy you were in love with. 

“Hey it’s okay.” Sam stepped foreword and removed your hands from your face. “You honestly don’t need us, Y/N. You are a great girl and deserve a better friend than me.” Tears began to fill your eyes. You weren’t just losing Sam, you were losing Nate and the adventures you had together. “I’m sorry.” He apologised once more. You nodded understanding before being pulled into the last hug you would probably ever get from Sam. You couldn’t help but cry into his shoulder, and you were sure Sam was crying too.

“Can I have a hug too?” You broke away from Sam to see Nate standing next to him. You smiled at Nate and pulled him into a hug.

“Gunna miss ya, shortie.” You said, kissing little Nate’s head. Letting go of Nate, you wiped tears away.

“We’ll see you round.” Sam said to you, you nodded allowing them to get on the bike. But something was bothering you. You couldn’t leave Sam with just a hug. You just couldn’t.

“Sam, wait.” You found yourself saying. Sam looked at you and you couldn’t take it any more. You walked up next to the bike and planted your lips on Sam’s. He was took by surprise but kissed back. He placed his hand on your cheek and your arms ended up around his neck. Nate didn’t know where to look, so just covered his eyes. 

Kissing Sam felt better than you imagined it to be. But it also felt horrible as you would never see him again after this and never get to kiss him again. But you couldn’t kiss him forever. You pulled way from Sam and looked him in the eye. Sam smiled.

“After all of this is blown over, we will find you. I promise.” Sam told you. You nodded and shared one last kiss, before you stepped back and Sam and Nate sped off into the distance. You wiped the last of your tears away and stopped back inside your house. You couldn’t sleep that night, and didn’t want to. You wanted to cherish the memories of you, Sam and Nate for as long as you could before you had to go back to your life.

You hoped in your heart Sam would find you again. But you feared he wouldn’t. If you were never to see Sam again, you were at least glad you kissed him before he left. If you were never to see Sam again, you were happy you got to know him and his brother as much as you did. 

——/———

May make a part 2 for this where Sam does find you years later. Would you like that?

In Your Time of Need

Here you go, @thejulietfarciertlove


It seemed like everything in Juice’s life had gone to shit. He had been blackmailed by a cop into betraying the club, got caught betraying the club and had to kill a brother, and tried to kill himself out of guilt. It was like Juice just couldn’t find the good in his life anymore and you, being in love with him, couldn’t stand seeing the light drain out of his eyes. You were the only female member of the Sons of Anarchy, you of all people knew what it took to be a club member. You knew how hard the life is and if you were honest with yourself, you knew Juice didn’t have the heart for it. He was too kind. He needed to be the hero and know he was doing something good in the world but the club life isn’t like that all the time. Sure, sometimes the club beat the bad guys but sometimes you were the bad guys.

You and Juice had been together for a while but the club was unaware due to the fact that two club members being in a relationship was unprecedented and the both of you were sure it would stir up trouble. You were loyal to the club but you hated what it was doing to Juice. You thought Juice would just push through this rough patch like he always did but after you had seen the bruises on his neck, you knew you needed to get him out.

The two of you left your kuttes with the club and ran off to somewhere you hoped that the club couldn’t track you. You started anew, without the burden or dangers of the club life, and the two of you started a new family.

*Years Later*

The club had run into trouble with the IRA. Shit hit the fan when Jax tried to get out of the gun business and it ended up getting the clubhouse blown up. SAMCRO needed to lay low for a while to avoid very much attention so the members decided to take time off and head up to a secluded cabin in a small town near Tacoma that Tacoma’s charter owned.

It was a great place to lay low but it was getting crowded with the members and a couple of their families. Jax didn’t know how long he could keep so many bikers cooped up in one area.

Jax took Chibs and Tig into town to get some food and necessities that they were too quickly running out of and to discuss what they were going to do.

“We can’t stay at the cabin much longer.” Jax said. “It’s too crowded. It’s going to drive everyone insane.” Chibs looked like he was going to suggest something but then gazed pass Jax in shock.

“I think the solution may have fallen right into our lap, Jackie.” As Chibs spoke Jax turned around to see you shopping while you held your son. “Let’s hope the Ortiz family is feeling hospitable.”

As you saw the three men walking toward you, you handed your son off to your nanny and told her to go find something in another part of the store. To be honest, you were a little panicked, you knew the MC probably hadn’t been too happy about you and Juice just leaving. You didn’t show it one bit though, being your badass biker self you kept you poker face.

“Long time no see.” You glared as they stood in front of you.

“Yeah, nice to see you too.” Jax gave you a fake smile.

“What do you want?” You got straight to the point, sure they weren’t just here for a social call.

“What makes ya think we want anything, lass?” Chibs raised an eyebrow. “Maybe we just got worried about you and Juicy.”

“Yeah. You never write, you never call.” Tig joked but you cut him off.

“Look, you haven’t killed me yet and you wouldn’t come up and talk to me if you were going to follow me to find out where Juice is too, so that means you want something. What is it?”

“Still as sharp as always.” Jax smirked. “You never change.”

“People rarely do.” You countered. “Get to the point.” Jax explained the situation to you.

“So, you have any extra rooms for some men in need?” Jax asked. You thought it over for a moment. You didn’t really want them in your house but this was an opportunity to be even with them and hopefully make it right so they wouldn’t come after your family.

“Okay.” You said finally. “But I have one condition. I do this for you, the MC doesn’t bother my family again.” Jax nodded and stuck out a hand for you to shake.

“You’ve got a deal.”

You led SAMCRO to the front gate of your property, something you had never thought you’d do. You typed in your security code to get in and let the bikers to the front of your massive and expensive home. You heard the bikers comment in awe of your house.

“Holy shit!” Jax exclaimed. “This place is a damn palace.”

“Almost.” You chuckled as you picked your son up from your car, leading the MC inside.

“Wait, If you could afford all this, then why they hell did you become a mechanic and join a motorcycle club?” Tig asked. “It’s really not a glamorous life.”

“I guess I joined for the thrill.” You shrugged. “You can get too comfortable in this kind of life. It gets boring. Besides, when I ran off to California my parents cut me off but when I came back here they were more than glad to hand off the family business to their only child and retire.”

You opened the front door to your home and walked in.

“Hey Juan! I’m home!” You yelled and you saw him appear from around the corner with a smile on his face that quickly disappeared once he saw the members of SAMCRO with you. He was holding your baby girl and he clutched her tighter to his chest, not sure of what he should do. You explained the situation to him after the nanny had taken your children to their rooms. You told him that if the two of you let them lay low in your home then they wouldn’t bother your family again. He didn’t look happy about it but he knew it was for the best so he reluctantly agreed.

There was plenty room for the members to stay and your property had enough room outside that they could get out of the house.You could tell there was tension about you and Juice leaving the club but it seemed like the tension evaporated when Abel and your son quickly became friends. It was hard to hate each other when Jax and both you and Juice saw how well the two got along. One afternoon you even had a picnic outside and it felt like things were weirdly normal again. It had been a lot different once you left the club, after all the years with them you had gotten use to having a large family. It was nice to feel that again.

Life Rules

- you are never as awkward as you think you are
- you are never as annoying as you think you are
- you are never as boring as you think you are
- your compliments are never as creepy as you think they are
- you are way more wanted than you give yourself credit for
- chin up, dude

I just feel like I’m nothing, and I don’t mean like the depression nothing I mean I feel like I am nothing, I’m just a person, I’m not very productive, I avoid responsibilities, I have no real skills, I get overwhelmed easily, I am nothing and I’m pretty much no more useful than your average office worker. I feel as time goes on my life gets more bland, I feel like I will end up with a boring life and be stuck in misery for the rest of my life. That wasn’t my goal. When did this happen? When did I become just another person…
—  5am sadness