my life is going wrong

story time: presidential edition
  • so you know how everyone has a story
  • you know
  • like the story
  • like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
  • and you know exactly what they mean
  • the story
  • well 
  • i have a story
  • and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
  • barack obama
  • pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
  • and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life

Keep reading

the signs as Parks and Rec quotes
  • Aries: Jogging is the worst! I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
  • Taurus: Oh, my God. These dogs are so cute. I WANT TO THROW UP AND KILL MYSELF.
  • Gemini: I think that Comic Sans always screams 'fun'.
  • Cancer: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't.
  • Leo: I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really, really well.
  • Virgo: Everything in my life is going wrong right now. Whose fault is this? I demand to know.
  • Libra: I'm not interested in caring about people.
  • Scorpio: Ugh. I hate talking to people about things. This is a nightmare.
  • Sagittarius: No, no. That's too much responsibility for me. I gotta— I gotta find a way out of this.
  • Capricorn: Yes. I am a hunter, and it's 'You' season.
  • Aquarius: My anxiety has kept me up for over fifty hours.
  • Pisces: I'm hungry and my legs are tired. It feels like I just exercised!
  • me: my life's a mess, I am a mess, everythings going wrong. I'm so glad I'll see my therapist tomorrow.
  • therapist: so, what can I do for you today?
  • me: *forgets everything* nothing, I'm fine and probably always were bye

There’s only ever been one person I’ve looked at and thought … “I could quite easily spend the entire rest of my life with that man”.


And sooner or later I need to accept that he’s spending it with somebody else.

—  Ranata Suzuki
  • me: *plays a game literally all day everyday for weeks*
  • me: *realizes how much time of my life i'm wasting*
  • me: ok i'll be Productive™ after i beat the game
  • me: -finishes-
  • me: what can i play next
I have spent my whole life terrified. Scared of things that could go wrong. Things that might happen; things that might not happen. But in time I’ve seen that it’s fear that’s the real enemy. So get up. Get out there, and live the life you want to live.
—  Unknown
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Gintama and Recreaction AU

  part (6/??)


(this one is technically from Brooklyn 99 but I want to put it in the tag)   

Some one please take this controller away from me,

How to play Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild:

Step 1. Get the paraglider and leave the first area
Step 2. Find a horse, tame them, and love them.
Step 3.Get your brother to convince you to ride said horse into the LAST AREA IN THE GAME, glide ON TO Hyrule Castle, sneak inside, steal as many high level weapon as possible (including the Royal Claymore and all of the Royal Guards gear set, I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THERE WAS STUFF THIS STRONG.), find a secret passage out through the library, complete “A Major Test of STREGNTH” and just waltz on out all the while only having FIVE fUCKIGN HEARTS.

this is wrong. I’m worse than Gannon. someone lock me away and throw away the key.

What Huniepop taught me about dating:
  • *sits down on a date* Where the fuck is your grid?
  • “Do you prefer flirtation or sexuality?”
  • “EAT THIS WHOLE FUCKING WEDDING CAKE NOW TELL ME HOW TALL YOU ARE”
  • *gives girl earrings to rejuvenate moves* “Okay give those back I need them when I try to fuck your professor later.”
  • “Fuck these birds, am I right?” is a perfectly acceptable pick-up line.
  • Listening to the weird fairy girl that may or may not be a figment of your imagination will totally get you laid.
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list of things I’m unequivocally in love with  (¬‿¬) 
      (insp.)

Sometimes I have days where everything seems to go wrong in every area of my life all at once and all I want to do is cry.
I don’t know if it’s from frustration or anger or just every imaginable emotion I keep bottled up inside trying to express itself all at once… but whatever it is, that urge to break down in tears is overwhelming.
I never do… at least, not at the time and certainly not in front of anybody else because I know I can’t. I have too much riding on me… there’s too many people that rely on me and not enough time for the luxury of a breakdown. But I would do anything to be allowed to fall apart just once and have somebody else pick up the pieces.
But that’s not who I am. I’m the strong one. I’m the one who supports everyone else and fights to keep everything together.
I’m the kind of person who cries and pretends they don’t. I act like I’m invincible when in reality I cry alone in my car, in bathrooms and when other people fall asleep. I’m the one who pulls myself together every time when in reality… I’m falling apart inside and would give just about anything for somebody to hold me together…
—  Ranata Suzuki  “Falling apart inside”

I swear to god one of the worst things about having tumours is actually having to deal with an estranged side of the family because it’s genetic and they need to get genetically tested but there’s not enough info out there so instead I have to have long conversations about the disease like come on universe the tumours are bad enough for real.

4

Fire Tornado

~ Gouenji Shuuya (Inazuma Eleven)
~ Kozoumaru Sasuke (Inazuma Eleven Ares no Tenbin)
~ Kuroiwa Ryuusei (Inazuma Eleven Go Galaxy)
~ Amano Keita (Youkai Watch)