my life is going to shit but at least im hot

top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow
this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao
AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
If I Had A Star (Lin x Reader)

Word Count: 9,636 (YIKES)

Warnings: swears, little nsfw

Authors Note: I KNOW ITS LONG BUT I PROMISE YOU ITLL BE WELL WORTH IT. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!!! IM YELLING IM SO HAPPY I FINISHED THIS!!!! 

Summary: a series of short stories to your forever. 

(each bolded word starts a new short story, the horizontal lines also divide each story.)

Dedicated to:

@hamilton-noodles Jo is a blessing to this earth. THE MOST eloquent person I have ever come across. I personally give this story to her, and all the stars in the sky. I want to publicly thank her for being one of the best people I have ever met (PERIOD) I love her so much and she is my bestest of the best friends. 

@adolescenthowell RACHAEL was my first friend on this blog and I want to thank her for reading my shit, facetiming me when I need motivation to write, and most importantly sticking by me. She is so talented and I love her. 

@fanfrickinhamiltasticimagines Sophie is the kindest human being alive. I want to give her all my thanks for proof reading for me. She is an amazing human being and so so out of this world talented. Love ya girl!

@whatdimissmotherfuckers Ruby for being such an adorable little bean. She’s the most giving yet still sassy person ever and I admire her self confidence. I hope you keep doing you babe. Her art and writing is the BESTEST. AND I ALSO LOVE HER DEARLY.

Not requested

Masterlist


If life had worked out perfectly; you would have never met him. You took the wrong train going downtown. Stupid, you knew, but being a first time New Yorker was hard. You wandered the streets aimlessly until you found a subway station late at night, hoping and praying you’d be able to find your way back home, your phone having died hours ago. You sat on a bench tapping your foot anxiously waiting for your train going up when a subway car rattled its way to your station. You were passing the doors when you saw a man runselfning down the length of the aisles in the subway car, singing loudly with a pair of headphones on. He didn’t notice you immediately, but when his eyes finally fell on you he practically tore off his headphones and stopped dead in his tracks. You gave him an awkward smile before he blushed red and returned one.

“Can you help me with directions?”

Keep reading

imagine CEO namjoon.

Originally posted by cuteguk

  • what’s there to say? we already know he’s a great leader.
  • heir to the country’s largest publishing/printing firm.
  • also the greenest publishing/printing company in the country, like top five in the world, all thanks to namjoon’s initiatives.
  • he takes the whole inheriting business thing very seriously, determined to deserve the company and to be the best boss ever.
  • graduates early from a prestiged business school abroad and shares the responsibilities at the company to give his ageing father a break.
  • he’s so !!!! invested !!! in the health and happiness of his employees !!!!
  • wins All The Awards, for his green initiatives, planting trees, and making jobs, and protecting the environment ect, but also for having the happiest employees in the country.
  • he’s always arranging conferences and seminars for his employees to educate and encourage health/happiness/safety/equal opportunity/respect/ect in the workplace.
  • he works so hard to make sure everyone even down to the lowest branches are insured and that there are daycares and mom’s get the paid leave they need and deserve and that everyone gets and equal and fair wage.
  • bless him.
  • unfortunately all this work on top of his official workload means he doesn’t have much time to look after himself.
  • but in his mind he’s suffering is worth the safety and health of so many others he doesn’t even mind tho he’s kinda sad.
  • so, you work in the HR department.
  • and the head of the department fucks off on maternity leave and by some miracle ???? you get a hasty promotion.
  • no, you’re not really the head of HR but your function is pretty much the same and you don’t mind because the pay is goOD.
  • part of your responsibilities as head is to keep namjoon briefed on the general mood and concern of the people in his branch, i.e the large building full of people he feels directly responsible for.
  • he even has a whole suggestion box system, so once a week you just have to go through the notes people leave you and present a list to namjoon with a few possible solutions etc.
  • piece of cake.
  • except he’s hot as all hell.
  • i mean, it’s not a problem, far from it, he’s just very distracting.
  • but your meetings with him are the highlight of your work week so you do a really good job or at least you try, and also wear something nice.
  • and you think he’s just kinda clumsy and awkward.
  • but actually he finds you really distracting as well.
  • and your meetings are A Mess for the first month or so, until you get into the swing of things and get your shit together.
  • and the complaints he gets are never a big deal because everyone is happy and has nothing to complain about like ???
  • his secretary complaining that him playing smooth jazz all day in his office is getting kinda annoying and please would he play some classical or maybe bossa nova for a change.
  • or that his wacky ties and other questionable fashion choices are giving them a headache.
  • or jeon jungkook complaining about someone’s coffee breath again.
  • an anonymous submission says jimin is apparently??? too??? cute???
  • jung hoseok won’t stop moonwalking to the photocopier while humming thriller and it’s not even october and michael jackson doesn’t even moonwalk to thriller ugh ???????
  • yoongi keeps falling asleep at his desk and forgetting to go home at the end of the day.
  • harmless stuff like that. 
  • (namjoon stays late so he starts driving yoongi home because that’s just the kind of Great boss he is.)
  • and most of the time you two spend these meeting gossiping about drama between the departments and rolling on the floor laughing.
  • and you’re so in awe that someone can be so wonderful and selfless, making use of his privilege to protect people less fortune than him.
  • and your meeting are usually after lunch, so you come back from lunch to find him buried in paperwork and you begin to wonder, who takes care of him?
  • you ask if he had lunch and he’s like lol of course not have you met me
  • and you suggest postponing the meeting because there’s nothing urgent going on and you can take care of “kim taehyung keeps sneaking his dog into the office” on your own.
  • but he’s like “nO!!! please, our meetings are the only break i get, they keep me sane, they’re kinda the highlight of my week.”
  • and you sputter like ????? “im,,,what??? me ?? too?”
  • from that day on he starts taking you out for lunch every week and that way your meetings get twice as long.
  • and eventually you have to ask him, since nothing is going on in the office, “what about you, namjoon? how are you doing?”
  • and he thinks for a moment and he’s like “you know what, i feel kinda shitty actually.”
  • so you let him vent all his sadness and weird existential thoughts and angst for a few weeks and eventually suggest maybe he takes responsibility for his own health and happiness and maybe a good step would be to see a therapist?
  • and he does because he values your opinion and honestly it’s the only selfish thing he’s done in years and it makes him feel 1000001x better to have his concerns and ideas affirmed and listened to by a professional. therapy is cool, kids.
  • and one day shy joonie hands you a little poem he wrote you on a post-it, describing all the little detail he’s observed about him that makes his heart race and his head go all slow and foggy.
  • because he really,,,,,,,,,,,,, really likes you, and hopes this isn’t weird or anything if you don’t feel the same way that’s cool but he’s felt this way for a while and you’re the best thing that’s happened to him since this company and he just thought you deserved to know and he’s sorry.
  • and you have to like glue yourself to that dining chair so you don’t climb that dang table and throw yourself at him because namjoon is the most wonderful man on earth you treasure him and you want to keep him safe and happy because he deserves as much kindness as he’s prepared to give and he has nothing to be sorry for and you love him.
  • and he loves you too.
  • anyway, nsfw under the cut.

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✰ * º ❛ more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  if i’m ever murdered i hope they make the chalk outline of my body hot  ’
‘  i hope you end up ok  ’
‘  i’m crying my best  ’
‘  how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit  ’
‘  some kid just skateboarded down my street crying  ’
‘  do you ever get in an “i don’t know” phase in your life. where you literally don’t have a solid answer to anything. you. just. don’t. know.  ’
‘  i guess at this point i should just consider dating myself  ’
‘  which of the three pillars of modern music is your favourite: burnin’ up by the jonas brothers, beautiful soul by jesse mccartney, or lucky by britney spears?  ’
‘  you know my name… and also my story cause i overshare 24/7 tbh  ’
‘  @ all of u that hate mint ice cream: what happened  ’
‘  there is no doubt in my mind i’m really that bitch  ’
‘  after you hit 21, you start forgetting your age cause ain’t nothing else to look forward to, besides sweet death  ’
‘  why am i not currently in the italian countryside with a fruit plate wearing a light linen dress? unacceptable  ’
‘  hands are weird because one of them can do absolutely everything without a problem and the other one can’t even hold a spoon  ’
‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’
‘  what the fuck is a good day  ’
‘  sleeping pattern: ??¿?¿??¿¿¿?¿  ’
‘  is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?  ’
‘  does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating  ’
‘  i’m not like most girls [rips off sunglasses]… i like most girls  ’
‘  time flies when u take a 2hr depression nap in the middle of the day  ’
‘  roses are red, i’m going to bed  ’
‘  u know when ur hairs greasy and it makes u feel so so so bad about urself. and ur entire life. everything is awful bc my hair is greasy  ’
‘  i’m just so glad the word “ugh” was invented  ’
‘  just another day of loving with all my heart and believing in the universe  ’
‘  you know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always  ’
‘  come into bed and listen to the rain with me  ’
‘  i hope all my girls out here r safe n being loved  ’
‘  people are so petty and then here i am, me, an angel,   ’
‘  i want to have angel wings and be kinder, braver and more tender  ’
‘  concept: a really nice italian restaurant but it’s spelled “spagooter” on the menu and the waiters won’t take your order unless you pronounce it like that  ’
‘  i want kids but i’m scared they’ll blame me if they’re ugly  ’
‘  does anyone have any tips for not thinking about it  ’
‘  “what’s a queen without her king?” well, historically, better  ’
‘  i want something that doesn’t taste like alcohol but has a lot of alcohol in it  ’
‘  i’m alive out of spite  ’
‘  the beatles wouldn’t even fucking exist if big time rush hadn’t paved the path for them so shut the fuck up  ’
‘  a bad person? who, me? that would be correct,  ’
‘  you hate me? wow u think ur hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so u can go grab a number and wait ur turn  ’
‘  my heart does a little “!” when I see you  ’
‘  i just want to say from the bottom of my heart i didn’t sign up for this shit  ’
‘  i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn  ’
‘  still got love for some people i know i’ll never talk to again.  ’
‘  my mitochondria clearly aren’t working because this bitch has NO FUCKING ENERGY  ’
‘  y’all i get attached to people so quickly wth  ’
‘  i wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them  ’
‘  for the 80th year in a row, the song of the summer is Everytime We Touch by Cascada  ’
‘  it’s weird to think that people who are 5 ft are only 5 subways long ’
‘  in alcohol’s defense i’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too  ’
‘  man this has been the worst life of my life  ’
‘  having “feelings” is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch  ’
‘  I Have To Be Dramatic. I Have To  ’
‘  forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember  ’
‘  “you’re obsessed with yourself” and you’re not??? sad. tragic  ’
‘  are people becoming more annoying or am i becoming more angry  ’
‘  do my dark under eye circles and unwashed hair turn you on  ’
‘  KIDS REACT TO existentialism and the inevitability of death  ’
‘  remember to do your best to be positive with a clear mind and believe in aliens because those motherfuckers are real  ’
‘  personality: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK  ’
‘  my gender is “pretty boy”  ’
‘  what others call a rebellious phase i call the sudden realization i don’t deserve to be treated like garbage  ’
‘  what is a sex drive? where is the sex going? does it even have a license?  ’
‘  i don’t want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening  ’
‘  i’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual  ’
‘  do re me fa so done with you  ’
‘  ctrl alt delete feelings cause i can’t do this shit no more  ’
‘  i may seem like an asshole, but deep down i’m a good person and even deeper down i’m a bigger asshole  ’
‘  should i go back to school tomorrow or should i fling myself into the ocean  ’
‘  am i too judgemental or is everyone annoying: an autobiography by me  ’
‘  are we gonna fuckn hold hands tonight or what bitch  ’
‘  i love drunk me but i don’t trust her  ’
‘  has anyones crush ever actually worked out for them or is that a myth?  ’
‘  i say “fight me” a lot for a girl who is 5′3″ and has a hard time opening some doors because they’re too heavy  ’
‘  if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i’d have 0 dollars bitch u thought lmao  ’
‘  my last words will probably be sarcastic  ’
‘  i used to be a straight a student. now i’m not even straight  ’
‘  ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened  ’
‘  single and ready to find aliens  ’
‘  it’s very important that i am both cute and powerful  ’
‘  i want to make friends but at the same time no  ’
‘  there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me, it’s called the throne  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  i’m glad dogs can’t read the ‘no dogs allowed’ signs so they don’t feel sad and feel left out  ’
‘  we’re all better and gayer people than we used to be  ’
‘  every time i speak i am reminded why i should not  ’
‘  every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved  ’
‘  i’m like a hexagon: all my hecks r gone  ’
‘  we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  my kink: not having to set an alarm for the next morning  ’
‘  on the bright side, at least i am not addicted to cocaine  ’
‘  they called me stupid?? well joke’s on them i don’t even know what that means  ’
‘  i might get a lot of shit for saying this but i think it’s fun to enjoy things  ’
‘  i’m the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person i know  ’
‘  assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student id number  ’
‘  there she goes again, being over dramatic and by she, i mean me  ’
‘  if u don’t know how to respond to something just say ‘how dare you’  ’
‘  um that’s u’re* not ur  ’
‘  i wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on  ’
‘  so sick of looking at my purse and not seeing $20,000  ’
‘  literally want to be rich for the clothes  ’
‘  me??? upset???? yes constantly  ’
‘  a good gender neutral term to use is ‘fool’  ’
‘  today’s schedule: suffer  ’
‘  my middle name is actually $$  ’
‘  don’t u hate it when u wake up and ur awake  ’
‘  i want someone who will light a fire in me  ’
‘  i want someone who will light me on fire  ’
‘  i’m too cute for 90% of the shit i go thru  ’
‘  who needs therapy when you can Realize™ things about yourself alone at 1 am  ’
‘  why is there so much blood in my alcohol system  ’
‘  no offense but i am a blessing to this earth  ’
‘  haha oops i care about you  ’
‘  they call me calcium because i give everyone strong bones  ’
‘  do you have that one person that you can’t look at when you’re trying to be mad at them because they’re so cute??  ’
‘  hi i’m here to ruin everything  ’
‘  one day i’m gonna say ‘fight me!’ and someone’s just gonna fuckin deck me  ’
‘  me? a jealous hoe? absolutely  ’
‘  it’s raining but it’s not men so what’s the point  ’
‘  i think i may be gayer than i originally planned  ’
‘  i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry  ’
‘  me? overreacting? shit probably  ’
‘  i would like to publicly announce that i have no idea what i’m doing  ’
‘  is there a scholarship for trying  ’
‘  me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism??????? what?????  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m feeling but there is a lot of it  ’
‘  i require a lot of attention or you get a lot of attitude  ’
‘  “what the fuck” is an emotion now and it’s the only one i have  ’
‘  you’re important to me, you piece of shit  ’

Who Wins the Bet? (Jughead x Reader Smut)

Prompt: Idk maybe a jughead smut if ur ok with writing that? Like reader and him have a lot of chemistry and sexual tension and the gang has bets on when they’ll finally swallow their pride bc theyre both too stubborn to admit they like each other and like maybe at a party things between them get heated and it leads to smut? Im rlly bad at explaining things this is both vague and specific im sorry lol

A/N: Hopefully this is what you wanted!!

Masterlist

Warnings: Smut! 

Who wins the Bet? (Jughead x Reader Smut)

Keep reading

let me love you (jefferson x reader x alex)

request : modern au??? angsty stuff !?? ooH basically ur eliza and Alex cheats on u and then u get pissed & break up w him and then go hook up w Jefferson to piss him off but then that becomes a thing and now Alex regrets everything (-anon)

warning : slight smut , angst, cussin, alex cheated so 

a/n : wooo writers block send me more requests. also its not v anon i know who sent this bc she kept on texting me to do it. 


“alex? what the fuck is this?” you choked, throwing your phone at him. Maria had texted you. is this y/n? im so sorry that i had to let you know this way. i just found out you are with alexander… we have been hooking up for about two months. im so so sorry he told me he was single. 

Keep reading

Wink

Originally posted by lowmans

Originally posted by justalittletumblweed

I could not for the life of me think of something to name this one. 😂

Request: Imagine Happy going to Gemma for advice on how to ask you to be his old lady. 
&
Request: Happy imagine where he won’t admit that he has feelings for you til he  has to rush you to lockdown where he confesses.

~

“I can’t just leave, Hap. This is my job.”
“I aint giving you an option.”
“And since when do I take orders from you?” You leant against the wall and scanned the dimly lit room and the girls swinging around poles.
“Since you started fucking me. Im serious, (y/n). You need to come to the clubhouse, now.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Im at work, Hap. I don’t finish til nine.”
“Your only a bartender at a goddamned strip club. Now do as your told and-“
“Fuck you!”
And then the line went dead. He clenched the phone tightly in his hand.
“Fuck!”
Happy threw the burner at the wall and watched the cell phone break apart before hitting the floor.
He clenched his jaw.
Why were you always so goddamned difficult?
Happy stood and marched out of his dorm room.
The clubhouse was already beginning to fill up which only agitated him more.
“Hey Hap can you give my mom a hand bringing in the rest of the boxes?”
Happy stopped in his path and look at Jax, fighting an internal struggle before finally nodding and storming towards the door.
He wanted desperately to go and drag your stubborn ass back here but he knew he had responsibilities and he could at least help Gemma out first.
Jax watched him march across the room and turned to his brothers.
“Whats his problem?”
Juice raised his eyebrows. “How much time you got?”

“Where you want them ma?”
“Just sit them in the kitchen.”
Happy nodded and carried in the last boxes of groceries.
Gemma followed him, carrying a paper bag of vegetables with her.
“She coming in?”
Happy glanced at the Queen as he lifted the boxes onto the counter and shook his head.
“Nah, Imma go get her.”
“Bet she’ll love that.” Gemma smirked.
“Its for her own good.” Happy said and turned towards the door.
Gemma grabbed his arm, stopping him and he turned back to look at her.
“Lockdown aint easy for outsiders. You gotta make her know how serious this shit is.”
“Shes not an outsider.” Happy answered.
“Does she know that?”
She could tell by the way Happy looked away that they still hadn’t discussed the status of their relationship and she sighed before stepping in front of him.
She grabbed his shoulders, making him look at her.
“Look, sweetheart. (Y/n)s a good girl. She’s a good fit for you. You gotta lock that shit down before somebody else does.”
Happy nodded. “Thanks ma.”
“Your welcome baby.” She kissed his cheek. “Now go get her. Gates closing soon.”

~

“What can I get you?”
He eyed you up and down, a sleazy smile on his face.
“How bout a piece of that ass, huh?”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes and plastered the sweetest smile you could manage on your face.
“Oh honey, no amount of cash is gonna make that happen. So what’ll it be?”
“Just a beer.”
You nodded and turned to the fridge when you heard the security guard arguing and you glanced up to see Happy pushing his way into the club.
You took a deep breath and gave the man his beer before stepping out from behind the bar.
“Its okay, T. He’s with me.” You told the security guard.
Happy shoved away from him and walked towards you.
You put your hands on your hips and raised your eyebrows.
“What the fuck are you doing here Hap!?”
“You need to come with me.”
“Jesus christ.” You turned away from him and headed back to the bar, Happy hot on your heels. “I told you on the phone, I’m working.”
“(Y/n), please.” He grabbed your wrist and moved to stand in front of you, blocking your path.
You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest and glared up at him.
“The club is dealing with some shit. Our enemies are coming for us. I need to keep you safe.”
His voice was sincere, and he seemed genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.
You sighed and scanned the club.
Tuesdays were generally pretty quiet, and there was another bartender on.
“Gimme twenty minutes.”
The ghost of a smile played on his lips and he nodded.
“Ill be out the front. I’ll ride with you.”

~

You closed the car door and looked around the lot.
The place was packed, cars everywhere, around a dozen more bikes than what was normally here. And people gathered around the clubhouse.
happy was parking his bike and you walked towards him.
“Whys there so many people?”
Happy looked at you, a look of disbelief on his face.
“What?”
“Did you even listen to what I said on the phone? Clubs on lockdown. We need to keep everyone safe.”
You shugged.
“I thought you were just being over dramatic.”
Happy shook his head slowly and you rolled your eyes.
You both walked towards the clubhouse.
“Can you blame me? You don’t even let me drive home alone.”
“Im trying to protect you, (y/n).”
“I can protect myself, Hap.”
Happy sighed.
It was gonna be a long night.

You stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around your body and began to dry yourself off.
Despite what you initially thought, the night had actually been kinda enjoyable.
You’d been to dozens of parties at the clubhouse. You were best friends with a crow eater and that was how you’d ended up meeting Happy.
But tonight had had more of a family vibe and for the first time since meeting the Sons you could actually imagine this being your life.
The sense of home this place had, the sense of family was something you had never experienced before and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you want it.
All the guys had tried it on with you, that first night. They all assumed since your friend was a crow eater that you’d be easy too, but that was far from the case.
You loved the chase and you liked to make men work to get what was between your legs.
Until you’d met Happy. There was just something about him that had driven you crazy.
He was so mysterious, so dangerous and handsome. He had an energy about him that you were drawn to and you’d found yourself breaking rules for him..
That didn’t mean you’d given in to  him; he’d still had to work for it, just not as hard as the previous men in your life.He was suspicious of you, as were all they guys. You hung out with crow eaters, and they all had doubts about your intentions. Like maybe you were just trying to get a guy with a kutte, like all your friends were
It wasn’t purely sexual, as much as you hated to admit it. You were never one to crave relationships but you knew your feelings for Happy Lowman were the kinda thing people wrote songs about.
But god when he clenched his jaw it drove you wild, and you knew you’d never really be able to say no to him. You would  never admit it, but he had total control over you. You were undeniably in love with Happy.
He had rushed you here so fast you hadn’t bother to think of clothes and he hd offered you an old shirt of his to wear to bed.
You reached for it and pulled it over your head. It was big and baggy and it hung loosely over you, sitting on your upper thighs.
Slightly faded letters spelt SAMCRO across the front and you smiled as you breathed in the scent of him.
You stepped in front of the mirror and looked at your reflection.
Maybe one day you really would fit into his world, and maybe one day he would fall in love with you.
Maybe one day he could actually call you his girlfriend or, even his old lady.
One day, maybe. But for now; while you stood naked in the bathroom of his dorm room, the scent of him filling your lungs; you could pretend.

“What are you looking at, little girl?”
You smirked and stayed leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom.
Happy sat in bed, shirtless with the sheets draped loosely over him as he leant against the headboard, a joint between his fingers.
“Just admiring the view.”
Happy snorted and took a drag of his joint. “Come here.”
You pushed off the wall and skipped across the carpet and knelt on the bed beside him.
In clothes, Happy was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen, but out of them.. He was a masterpiece. You could spend hours looking at him, and you drowned in his tattoos and abs and every inch of his perfectly sculpted body.
He passed you the joint and you took a drag before passing it back to him.
“That suits you.” Happy said, gesturing to his shirt you were wearing.
You glanced down at it and brushed off the compliment.
“Greys not really my colour.”
Happy smirked and patted the pillow next to him.
You crawled over and tucked up next to him curling into his side, and he put his arm around your shoulder.
“Thank you for coming, (y/n). I know you didn’t want to.”
His voice always sounded huskier at night and you smiled at him.
“Im glad I came.”
“It wont be for long, couple days maybe.”
You groaned. “Ive got work tomorrow Happy, Im gonna lose my job if i don’t show up.”
Happy stubbed out the joint in the ashtray.
“I aint risking your life for a bartending job.”
“I can protect myself.”
He looked at you and sighed. “I know you can. But your staying here. Just go to sleep and we’ll sort it out tomorrow.”
“But I-“
His lips crashed against yours before you could protest and you gave in almost immediately.
His rough hands reached down and you moved into his lap, straddling him.
There was a sudden urgency to his kiss and he tugged the shirt up your body and lifted it over your head.
He tossed it to the ground and sat back.
You blushed under his gaze and he licked his lips as he looked at your bare chest before pulling you to his lips once more.

~

Happy watched you as you laughed with Lyla and Juice.
It had been two days since he had dragged you here and despite your initial protests you had actually been enjoying yourself.
He liked watching you, settling in with his brothers and their families. You seemed to fit in well.
Happy stood and headed to the kitchen.
Gemma was standing in front of the stove, stirring a large pot and Happy knocked softly on the wall to get her attention.
“Hey sweetheart,”
Happy nodded and leant against the counter. He pulled a toothpick from his pocket and placed it between his lips, rolling it across them with his tongue.
Gemma watched him intently.He was struggling with something.
“You told her yet?”
“Told her what?”
“That your in love with her.”
Happy paused and shook his head.
“I dont know how, Gem.” He said quietly. “Im not good at talking about this shit.”
“Look, sweetie. Girl like that, she don’t need to be told all the time. You want her to be an old lady?”
Happy nodded.
“Then you just gotta ask her. She’s good for you. Knows how to turn you on and treat you right. She’s been around the club enough to know what it means to be an old lady. She’s tough. She’ll keep you grounded. You need that.”
Happy nodded and rubbed at is neck.
“She loves you, sweetheart.” Gemma said reassuringly. “Take her on a date when all this is over. A real date. Ask her then.”
“Thank you momma.”
“Its okay baby.”

~

“Who wants a beer?”
Happy nodded and Jax and Opie raised their hands.
You nodded and headed to the bar.
Despite being locked in the club house all day you’d enjoyed every second.
Gemma had been watching you closely, but you got on well with the queen and she was always up to something, so you just ignored it.
The boys had been out for most of the day and you had leapt out of your seat the second you’d heard the bikes pulling into the lot.
Happy had to admit, coming home to you after a long day was something he could get used to.
You grabbed the beers, and one for yourself and headed back to them.
Happy met your eye as you walked and you smirked at him and tried to wink.
“Are you okay? Have you got something in your eye?”
“No, I’m.. I’m winking. Im trying to wink.”
Happy  raised his eyebrows and smirked while Jax and Opie laughed.
You blushed and passed the boys their beers.
“Thank you darlin.” Jax said, with an over exaggerated wink.
You laughed too and raised your middle finger at him.
Happy pulled you into his lap and you obliged, laying your hand casually across his broad shoulders.
The conversation was light and friendly and you were all laughing, except for Happy.
He couldn’t stop staring at you. His plans to take you on a date were flying out the window.
You tried to ignore it bit when Jax and Ope stood to go outside you turned to look at him.
“The fuck you staring at?” You asked and took a swig of your beer.
“I love you.”
You spat your beer at, spraying a mist over the table in front of you.
“What?” You wiped the beer dribbling down your chin.
“I love you.”  Happy repeated.
His voice sounded so.. nervous. Was the Tacoma Killer nervous?!
You stared at him, your mouth open, searching for any hint of a lie in those dark eyes of his.
But you saw only truth, and love.
You swallowed and placed your beer on the table in front of you before turning his lap to look at him fully.
“You love me?”
“I do.” He nodded.
You pressed your lips against his.
“I love you too, Happy.” You smiled against his lips.
He kissed you again and you breathed him in. You shifted in his lap til you were straddling him and he wrapped his arms around you.
“Get my crow.” He whispered against your lips.
You pulled back and looked at him questioningly.
“I want you to be my old lady.”
You pulled away from him and stood up and Happys face fell slightly.
You took a step backwards, your eyes never leaving his face.
“Is that a no?” He asked.
You smiled widely and shook your head.
“Its a yes, you dork.” You took another step back.
“Come on. I want my old man to pick where his crows gonna go.” You tugged your shirt down, flashing him a bit of cleavage and attempted another wink.
Happy smirked and stepped towards you, grabbing you by the waist and planting a kiss on your lips.
“You gotta work on that wink, little girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once again I’m too lazy to edit, SO i hope theres no errors or autocorrect mistakes.. Hope you guys liked this one 😘

exo shitpost #2: exo at the carnival
  • junmyeon: alright assholes go wild
  • chanyeol: hoo boy i'm going to win me some prizes
  • baekhyun: you suck ass at everything what could you possibly win
  • chanyeol: that thing with the hammer
  • sehun: your arms are two limp noodles lmao
  • chanyeol: fuck you
  • luhan: your weak ass can't even get it past the halfway mark
  • chanyeol: i don't deserve this verbal abuse you try it
  • luhan: what. the fuck.
  • luhan: it doesn't work
  • sehun: excuses are for the cheap
  • luhan: this is bullshit, this game is rigged, and we are going home
  • -
  • yifan: ok junmyeon let us get wild
  • junmyeon: would you fuck off i will not ride a roller coaster
  • yifan: why
  • junmyeon: because i may shit myself
  • junmyeon: but also because i don't want to be seen next to your crusty ass
  • yifan: why did i ever love you
  • -
  • jongdae: fuck yes corndogs
  • kai: holy shit kyungsoo take it slow
  • kyungsoo: i am a hungry bitch today don't speak to me
  • jongdae: did you really just inhale that entire corndog
  • kyungsoo: it's not that big
  • kai: i can personally assure you he's seen bigger
  • jongdae: wow kyungsoo, king of the dick
  • kyungsoo: if you don't shut up right now i might eat you
  • -
  • zitao: fuck i lost my watch, i must have left it on the ferris wheel
  • minseok: you irresponsible fuck what did i tell you about leaving your goddamn shit everywhere
  • zitao: here, take my ice cream and put it on your tits because you need to chill
  • minseok: /rubbing nosebridge/ how much did that stupid thing cost
  • zitao: it was gucci
  • minseok: i just pissed my pants
  • zitao: relax jethro i have like ten more at home
  • minseok: what
  • zitao: eleven including the one i gave to candy
  • minseok: you have eleven gucci watches, one of which is for your dog, and you still gave me a fucking slurpee for my birthday
  • zitao: at least it was a jumbo size
  • minseok: you're dead to me
  • -
  • yixing: life is fantastic
  • kyungsoo: you're a cheery mf today aren't you
  • yixing: why are you so pessimistic, go inhale another corndog
  • kyungsoo: i can't eat too many, i'm corn intolerant
  • yixing: that's not a thing
  • kyungsoo: i'm also mildly allergic to dogs
  • yixing: that's,,,, not how it works
  • luhan: don't bother this is from the same guy who didn't know how dna works
  • kyungsoo: no more kimchi spaghetti for you
  • -
  • sehun: cotton candy BITCH
  • chanyeol: this is your fifth one, stop it
  • sehun: i am in love with this shit
  • chanyeol: diabetes says hello
  • sehun: i might dye vivi this colour
  • chanyeol: what the fuck she's not an easter egg
  • sehun: doggosthetic
  • chanyeol: s e h u n that's abuse pLEASE DON’T DO THAT
  • -
  • yifan: aw fuck
  • junmyeon: what now you overgrown baby
  • yifan: i'm too tall for the bumpercars
  • junmyeon: too bad
  • yifan: this is no fair
  • junmyeon: go ride something else you ingrate
  • yifan: that's it i'm putting you on the death drop
  • junmyeon: you better freaking not
  • yifan: hi yes one ticket for the death drop
  • junmyeon: nonononono im sure i don't meet your height requirement eheheh
  • yifan: don't worry dear, they have seats for shrimps like you!
  • junmyeon: WU YI FAN YoU fUckeR
  • yifan: enjoy bitchy!!
  • junmyeon: YoU haVe a laWSUiT oN YoUR handS
  • -
  • baekhyun: OFF TO THE HOUSE OF MIRRORS WE GO
  • jongin: i love the fact that i still look hot in all of these
  • jongdae: hey baekhyun this mirror's got me looking just like you
  • baekhyun: how so?
  • jongdae: makes me look ugly as shit
  • jongin: im piSSing
  • baekyun: this kind of commentary is the reason no one loves you
  • -
  • luhan: haunted house, leggo
  • zitao: fuck this shit i'm out
  • minseok: nah i'm in let's do it
  • yixing: zitao i'll protect you
  • zitao: too late i'm already crying
  • minseok: oh ShiT i am Spooked
  • zitao: AHAHADSHJF UHUHUHUH WAHHDHJFF
  • luhan: his soul has left him
  • yixing: you made it taozi, i’m proud of you
  • zitao: thanks yixing, the only thing that helped me through it was the fact that those goblins back there kinda resembled you and it was really funny
  • yixing: wow, this is basically bullying!
  • -
  • junmyeon: well boys, it's been fun
  • kyungsoo: no it has not
  • junmyeon: but we must head back to hell
  • yifan: he means home
  • junmyeon: trust me, i mean hell
Theo Reaken Imagine- I’m Not A Bad Guy

Anon-Theo comes back to town and the whole pack is very protective of you and telling you to stay away from him, but Theo has a certain interest in you and is always trying to talk to you and invite you over without the pack knowing

Authors note- Thankyou for the request, this was very interesting to write and I hope you enjoy x

“Y/n, what did I tell you?” Lydia groaned. “Don’t trust Theo” you said with an eye roll, out of routine. “So ignore him” she added. “I cant, we go to the same school!” you claimed, throwing your arms around. “You could at least block his number” she raised her eyebrows. “Well erm, I thought maybe it would be best to keep it for… security purposes” you excused. “No, you want to keep it because you fancy him” she said, as you merged with Malia and Kira in the hallway. “You best not be talking about who I think you are” Malia said, correctly judging the situation. “Nope, we’re talking about someone different” you protested. “And who may that be?” Malia asked. “You know I’m lying, there’s no point” you whined. “Theo asked to meet her tonight” Lydia told. “You’re seriously not considering it Y/n” Kira joined in. “Why do you guys hate him so much?” you questioned, already knowing the answer. “He’s a sociopath” “Manipulative” “Evil asshole”  they all began saying at the same time. “People change” you argued, as you entered the school library. “Yes, but not in the matter of a week” Lydia said wisely as you all took your usual seats. “Its best we end this conversation before Sco- Oh hey Scott” Kira smiled, after noticing him and Stiles walking over. “I heard you four bickering. You’re not meeting him” Scott continued. You huffed and sunk back into your chair, “It’s not like I wanted to go anyway” you crossed your arms. Stiles let out a fake choke, not needing supernatural abilities to tell that was a lie. “I hate him, I actually hate him” Liam said storming over with Mason trailing behind him. “Who?” everyone asked at the same time, besides you because you were being grumpy. “Theo! He was flirting with Hayden and I swear he came this close to kissing her” Liam demonstrated by putting his face close to Mason’s, earning a very disapproving look from him. But with that your heart sank, you realised that you weren’t special just another piece in his twisted board game and like everyone else you were being played. You knew the werewolves could tell, but you simply put on a brave face and acted like you weren’t bothered. Again.

“What’s up with you?” Theo asked, while maintaining his charm and careless persona. “Wouldn’t you like to know” you said, brushing past him and into your history class. He was expecting the usual flirtatious remark from you, which you could get away with every so often when the rest of the pack weren’t near your lesson. You sat at your desk and slammed your books on the table, you weren’t sure as to why you felt so hurt by the sociopath that was trying to break up your pack. He sat on the desk behind you, knowing if he attempted to sit next to you, he probably would have got a punch in the face. “Someone must be on their peri-” he began. “Don’t even say it” you said firmly through gritted teeth. “Woah feisty, does this mean the deals off?” he asked. “There was never a deal” you said with a raised eyebrow. “I promised to not tell the pack you admitted to liking me, if you went on a date with me” he interrupted. “That’s pretty counter productive if you ask me and FYI I don’t like you Theo” you scoffed, earning you a raised eyebrow, because he heard your heart race. “Why do you want to go on date with me anyway? So you can pry information out of me? So you can get one over on them? So you can get back at Scott by trying to steal one of his pack members?” you began to list. “No actually, because I want to talk to you” he claimed. “We’re talking right now” you rolled your eyes. As if on queue your phone started to buzz from on your desk. Stiles: Meet us at the jeep ASAP, I think we’ve found something. Theo clearly saw because he carried on quickly before you stood up. “Meet me and the coffee house, the one a few blocks from the animal clinic at 8″ he followed you with his eyes. You simply gave a shrug in response and smirked as you made your way back out of the door, before your teacher noticed. You didn’t know that Theo then continued to cover for you by coming up with an elaborate story as to why you weren’t in the lesson, and taking the detention for skipping class, so you didn’t have to.

”Stiles, you’ve got three seconds to move away from me before I punch you in the face!” you were trying to keep your calm. As per usual, Stiles came to the wrong conclusion and you all ended up having to ditch school to go to some remote area, in search for clues. “I’m sorry okay guys, I really thought this would have worked” he sighed casually, as if you hadn’t drove for an hour in the car, ruined your white shoes on that stupid muddy field and came close to hypothermia all for nothing. “What’s the time?” Kira asked with a groan, knowing her mom was going to be mad at her for ditching school. “It’s half seven” Lydia answered as she pouted at the time on her phone. Shit, you internally shouted while trying to remain calm on the surface. “Hey Lyd, would you mind dropping me to Deaton’s clinic now please?” you said with puppy dog eyes. “Cute, but why the sudden rush?” she questioned. “I need to see him before it closes” you retort. “Y/n you know he lets us go in at any time, considering he’s the druid for our pack” she said, with a raised eyebrow. “Yes, but then I need to go home in time to catch my mom before she leaves for work-” you improvised. “Why?” Malia interrogated. When you paused to think, a few of them clocked on. “You’re not seriously thinking about meeting him?” Stiles groaned. “I’m not meeting him!” you protested with a foot stomp. “Promise” Kira said childishly. You nod your head, not wanting to openly lie to them or break a promise. Lydia gave you a disappointed look but pulled out her car keys and you headed off.

“So, we’re here” Lydia gave a weak smile. You looked out the window to see you were parked outside of the coffee house. “You knew?” you said with a loud sigh. “Of course I knew, I know everything about you” she replied. “Don’t worry, I wont tell the others. Just be careful okay” she added reluctantly. She was your best friend until the end, but she knew that the only way you could learn was by making the mistakes yourself. You opened the car door and entered the coffee shop nervously. You looked around, you should of known. He stood you up, to embarrass you. You turned around but Lydia had already drove off, she was clearly going to stall and mislead the others from trying to catch you out. You felt awkward to say the least, until you saw him. He was sitting at the back of the room with two coffees and a two slices of cake. You watched for a minute as he adjusted the coffee cup so the logo was facing straight and how he kept feeling the side to make sure it was still hot enough for you. You watched as he fluffed his hair up because he remembered overhearing you tell Lydia that he looked cute with it like that, and how he gave you the cake with the most icing on it because he overhears you talk about vanilla icing at lunch. You noticed all the napkins, sugar sachets and stirring spoons on the table from him impulsively getting more while waiting for you. For a moment, anything supernatural faded and Theo seemed to be nothing more than a charming boy who wanted to go on a date, purely because he liked you. It didn’t take him long to smell your perfume and hear your heartbeat from across the room and your daydream was interrupted by a smirk and him standing up. You slowly strolled over to him and he tucked your chair in behind you, before sitting back down. Your surprised expression caused him to furrow his brows, “What?” he asked. “Nothing” you shook your head and took a sip of coffee to hide your smile. You’d never have pictured him to be a romantic. “Sorry I’m late, pack business” you excused, waiting for him to bombard you with questions to get some sort of information out of you. But he simply said it was fine and refused to take any money from you to pay for the drinks and cake. You had been there for about an hour and you seemed to be really hitting it off with one another, surprisingly there wasn’t a dull moment. “Why did you ask me out on a date, like the real reason?” you suddenly asked, breaking the happy mood. “Honestly?” he asked. You nod your head and waited for his response. “I like you Y/n, a lot. I’m not lying, listen to my heartbeat” he gently reached for your hand and looked at you softly to show you that you could trust him, before placing it on his chest. He looked you in the eye and said it again, and like he said, his heart didn’t show any signs of lying, like Scott had taught you. You gave him a small genuine smile which he returned. “I like you too” you weren’t sure if you had made the biggest mistake of your life but in that moment, you didn’t care. You found yourself staring a his lips and before you knew it, his were pressed against yours. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Scott-” you shouted as you pulled away from Theo. Stiles and Malia shortly burst through the door, followed by a panicked Lydia who had been trying to stop them from finding you for the past few hours. You glanced back at Theo and watched as the natural smile that was on his face faded and a false smirk appeared. “Get your coat, we’re leaving” Scott demanded. “No” you simply replied, which even shocked Theo. Scott’s face remained firm but his eyes relaxed. He did that sometimes, where he forgets that even though he’s your alpha he was once just a friend. “Y/n, just come on please” Stiles said calmly, after noticing Malia’s claws. “I’ll kill him” she growled under her breath, assuming Theo was solely to blame. “Everyone just calm down! I’m sure there’s a rational explanation as to why they appeared to be kissing” Lydia tried to diffuse. “Oh believe me, we were kissing” Theo interrupted with a cocky expression, which dropped as he looked back at you. “I like him” you blurted out impulsively. Everyone stopped glaring at Theo, and began to stare at you quizzically. “And I have for a while now” you continued. “You have got to be kidding” Stiles said with a lot of hand gestures. “I will admit, he is a dick to you guys” you ignored Stiles’ comment and Theo’s reaction. “But he makes me happy and that’s all that should really matter” you gave a small smile, before reaching to lace your hands together, which he returned with a smile he couldn’t hide. “Awww!” Lydia cooed, breaking the silence. “Absolutely not” Stiles claimed, which Malia agreed. “She’s right” Scott spoke, earning him confused looks off all of you. “I mean look at us, we said we’d try to keep our personal lives out of the supernatural as much as we could and here we are, not letting Y/n date a guy she likes, over a stupid pack feud” he said wisely. “He tried to kill you Scott, remember that?” Stiles accidently shouted, turning a few heads in the coffee shop. “It doesn’t matter, it’s her life and even if we don’t agree, we’re her friends and we’ll be here to catch her if she falls” he lectured. You gave him a friendly pat on the chest to show your endearment. “I guess” Stiles reluctantly sighed. “If you even think about hurting her, I swear to god I’ll shove your head so far up your ass you have to fuck yourself from the inside out-” Malia huffed. “So does this mean you’re okay with me and Theo dating, that is if you’d like to” you glanced back at him. He rubbed his thumb over your hand, “Of course I would” he said uncharacteristically sweetly but nervously, as he glanced at Malia. “That settles it” Scott clapped awkwardly. “I suppose, we’ll leave you guys to it” Lydia said, giving you a wink as they began to head towards the door. “Sorry about that” you laughed with a blush as they had completely gone. “Don’t worry about it, and don’t worry I’d never hurt you. I may be a bad boy, but I’m not a bad guy” he said endearingly. “I know” you gave a trusting smile. “Sooo, before they came in” he hinted. “I think we should pick up where we left it” you smirked knowingly. With that he pulled your chair closer to the table, before passionately pressing his lips to yours. Who would have known, your life would never be the same again after falling hopelessly in love with Theo Raeken.

Requests are still closed but I hope you enjoyed this Theo imagine, it’s my first one of him. Extremely sorry for the slow af upload but better late than never am’rite.

i’m scared to death of light and silence

A/N: Symmetra/Sombra fic written for @grimtriggers here on tumblr. Super NSFW, mostly about Sombra submitting completely and entirely to the shaper of her universe.

Also Available on AO3.




Corporate espionage was a very pretty turn of phrase. It sounded almost innocent, benign, like accidentally spilling too much gossip around the water cooler. It did not sound like a controlled explosion on the other side of the Vishkar complex, drawing all security personnel. It didn’t sound like Satya using a pass that did not belong to her to gain access to a room she wasn’t supposed to be in, stealing information she swore to protect, in order to give it to a woman that had a verifiable kill count.

Never too far away, Sombra hovered over her every move, murmuring instructions when she could get close enough.

“Cutting it a little close, bella.”

The blue core in the center of Satya’s left palm lit up, flickering purple. Static traveled up the length of her forearm, a tremble where she was normally steady as a surgeon.

She balled her hand into a fist. “I will be fine.” Satya had the unnerving ability to look right through her, even when Sombra had her cloaking device activated. “You should be more concerned about your own route of escape, if this goes awry.”

Keep reading

My Hero

Originally posted by kimnatozaki

Nayeon x Reader

fluff & angst?

Word Count: 2948 (i’m so sorry I went all out lmao)

Written by Admin LJ

(Author’s Note: it’s almost 2 AM here and I’m so tired so I didn’t proofread, so I’m sorry if there are any errors!)

There were a lot of differences between you and Nayeon. For one, Nayeon was the easily the most well liked, most beautiful, and most kindhearted person to attend your school. It was an honor to be acknowledged by her (which wasn’t uncommon, because she was sweet to pretty much everyone, telling classmates who she never spoke to prior that they looked cute that day, or helped another student in class when they were struggling with some work), and wherever she went, smiles erupted in masses. Her personality didn’t quite fit her appearance- when you had first seen her, you were convinced she was going to be much like those stereotypical popular snobs, but you were so very wrong.

You, on the other hand, were apparently not as appealing as Nayeon was, according to your classmates. You considered yourself to be average, not stunning but not repulsive either, but compared to Nayeon, people seemed to think you looked the equivalent of a trash heap, which was entirely unfortunate for your social standing.

Nayeon was also so incredibly involved with extracurricular activities, you sometimes wondered if she had a life outside of school. Every day she stayed after the school day ended, whether it be for cheerleading practice in the fall, track practice in the spring, or the drama club- she was pretty always on the school grounds.

You, not so much. You didn’t really associate yourself with the rest of your students- not exactly by your own decision, but moreso everyone else’s. You were dubbed the “nerd” early on in your schooling, just because you were really smart, and that stuck all the way until high school. Most of your classmates didn’t talk to you- some even bullied you, which was completely unfair, given the fact that there was nothing wrong with being smart, and you never did anything to harm anyone. It wasn’t fair at all.

And, of course, with Nayeon’s popularity, it was a given that she had a hot boyfriend- Park Jinyoung, senior, football captain in the fall, soccer captain in the spring. His grades were lacking all around, but who ever looked at grades when your athletic capabilities were extraordinary? (the answer is no one. Jinyoung should have been expelled by now, with the way his grades were, but no one gave two shits because he was the school’s star athlete.)

And you? Hardly anyone ever looked your way. That changed, though. It just took a lot of time.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

ummmm..... I LOOOVE YOUR WORK (≧∇≦) YOU ARE SERIOUSLY SUPER TALENTED! Are YOU A GENIUS???? Sorry for caps...(´-`)If you don't mind, may I request an hc about the RFA + minor trio mistaking mc's twin for mc? Maybe they see her twin with another guy, so they ask mc about it or something... I just love love love your writtiiinngg~~~ I can write whole page! It's all so good that I they're all my favorite! (´Д` ) Sorry if its unclear/bad grammar... Bye(・◇・)/~~~

RFA + MTrio React to Mistaking CM for MC

Omg pls you guys are feeding my ego so much
And don’t worry about your grammar!! Grammar is the hardest part of any language, I cry when I speak anything other than English cause “How do say this” 

Ok anyways

Some of these are going to be those totally cliché “Secret Twin” scenarios that are kind of angsty but I’m gonna try some more lighthearted ones too because I feel like the “I SAW YOU WITH ANOTHER MAN IM LEAVING YOU!!!1!1!” “Babe thats my twin” scenarios have been used quite a bit and I don’t want to pump out something that’s already out here

If you decide you want those scenarios instead though then let me know! Because if you just happen to reallllly like that specific case then I’ll do a short drabble focusing on that

Also sorry in advance for the Choi twin ones, I just feel like they would know about MC’s twin and I the writing for them isn’t up to par with the others but I didn’t want to postpone posting for much longer because of it.

Ok I talk too much lets go

Yoosung:

  • He’s walking by a cafe near campus when he sees you sitting across from another guy
  • He stops dead in the side walk and stares in the window
  • At first he thought you were maybe just..discussing something? With some guy? Who you never told him about…?
  • No he didn’t think that at all his brain went straight to the worst but he couldn’t bare to think it so he came up with every excuse in the book.
  • MC’s a spy and they have to kill this guy
  • He’s a new RFA recruit???
  • He’s a dealer and MC’s buying drugs
  • MC is secretly a vampire and just trying to eat this guy
  • Every thought bubble he had was popped when you leaned over the table and planted a kiss on the mans cheek
  • Yoosung heard his heart-
  • rrrng rrrrng rrrrng rrrng
  • He was going to say breaking but apparently his heart rings when broken?
  • He looked at his phone and your Caller ID was up
  • “Huh?” He looked from his phone to the window, where ‘you’ were still sitting and talking with the strange man
  • He answers the phone, voice a little shakey “H-Hello?”
  • “Yoosung? Hey! Sorry to call but on your way home can you grab soup. I’m feeling like soup for dinner tonight.”
  • ….
  • “Yoosung?”
  • “MC…how are you doing this?”
  • “…Doing what Yoosung?”
  • “Are you a vantrilaquist?”
  • “Yoosung pls just what the fuck are you talking about”
  • “I’m staring at you through a window having coffee with another man…but you’re on the phone with me.”
  • “1. Yoosung that’s creepy that you’re staring at two strangers 2…”
  • His phone beeped and he looked down to see you sent him a picture of you sitting on the couch with a controller in hand, soda on the table, blankly staring at the camera.
  • He snapped a picture of the ‘you’ in the window and sent it back
  • “Yoosung that’s my sister and her boyfriend you egg”
  • “Your sister???? What???”
  • “I told you I had a sister!”
  • “NOT THAT YOU GUYS WERE TWINS”
  • “I assumed when you met her you’d be with me…not that this would happen. This is some TV style mess.” You chuckled, feeling a little guilty. Reflecting on it, you probably would have been upset too if you thought a look a like Yoosung was putting the moves on someone else “So……soup?”
  • “Yeah babe of course, what do you want?”

Jaehee

  • She was at the cafe making -cue Savior Meme going and making a post about Jaehee owning a musical theatre instead- a new brew when you walked in
  • She sees you and casts a warm smile and a “Hey Honey”
  • The person Jaehee thought to be MC cocks their head, slightly confused, but brushes it off as Jaehee being a very friendly Barista
  • The copy cat you stands at the counter, waiting about a minute before Jaehee realizes their presence at the spot
  • “Dear, what are you doing?”
  • The customer furrows their brows and responds slowly, somewhat confused “Ordering coffee…”
  • Jaehee chuckles, amused at you playing customer. She just shakes her head and walks over to the register
  • “Alright, what’ll you have?”
  • “I’ll have an iced Mocha with extra cream no sugar.”
  • Jaehee scribbles it on a cup and gets to work making the drink “Weird choice for you. Didn’t think you were a fan of  mocha, you always seem to prefer vanilla”
  • “I do?” 
  • “Yes silly, you always ask for French vanilla flavoring.”
  • “I ne-” Before your clone can respond though, Jaehee has finished up the drink and handing it over
  • As ‘You’ take the drink, Jaehee leans over the counter and plops a quick kiss on your cheek
  • ‘You’ are frozen on the spot
  • Jaehee opens her eyes to see why you’re suddenly so frigid towards her, but when she opens them she can’t help but glance behind you and see…YOU??
  • “MC?” Jaehee jumped back looking between you and your look a like.
  • “MC?” Your twin turns to you, face still flushed from their sudden kiss. “Is this the surprise you had for me??? A super friendly barista??”
  • “Surprise???” Jaehee exclaimed, still looking between the two of you. “Wait you’re not MC???”
  • Finally you stepped in to clear the confusion
  • “Jaehee! This is my twin …. CM. CM, this is my new Cafe that I run with my girlfriend!”
  • “Girl..friend.” CM turns to look at Jaehee, at the same time the two of them realize everything that just happened concerning the confusion.
  • “I am so so so so so so so so so sorry” Jaehee can not stop apologizing no matter how many times CM says it’s ok.

Zen

  • It was  opening night for his new show
  • He was pumped
  • Sure because of the show, but also because you had shot him a text earlier that day that you were going to bring your sibling. 
  • Zen had yet to meet anyone in your family, so he was excited that you were going to start introducing him to them. It showed how ready you were to spend your life with him and that just made him giddy.
  • So after the show was over he couldn’t wait to find you
  • He scanned the crowd and eventually spotted you in the crowd with a bouquet of roses
  • MC is so sweet he hummed to himself
  • That was his sole moment of calmness before the storm
  • He watched as his coworker walked up to you and started chatting you up. Zen was on the other side of the auditorium, trying to push his way through the flock of people set on congratulating him, so he couldn’t run to your rescue as fast as he liked.
  • He was frustrated but he knew you could handle yourself
  • At least that’s what he thought until his fellow actor’s hand found it’s way to your hand, where the thumb gently brushed back and forth. 
  • Zen’s face turned red, and the shade only grew deeper when he saw his douche bag scene mate’s mouth turn into a cocky looking smirk.
  • He found superhuman speed and agility to push through the crowd and end up right behind you, where he wrapped his arms around you tightly and pressed a long kiss to your cheek
  • “Honey, there you are.” Zen sounded so sweet while his blazing red eyes stared daggers into the green ones of his coworker.
  • “Zen? This is your girlfriend?”
  • “Yes, this is my girlfriend MC.” Zen squinted at the guy. How dare he pretend not to know, Zen only pointed out MC every time she came to a show. Every time she picked him up from rehearsal. Every time-
  • “You said your name was CM” The Actor turned a confused stare to the person in Zen’s arms
  • “I-” They tried to say but
  • “CM?” Zen questioned, he spun them around only to realize “You’re not MC.”
  • “No I’m” Cm tried to say
  • “Zen!” You interjected as you ran over to the 3. “Sorry, I had to run to the bathroom. CM thanks for holding the flowers. Speaking of which, Zen I see you’ve met my twin”
  • Zen’s face turned bright red with blush this time
  • He turned to his fellow actor and CM and started apologizing profusely 

Jumin

  • He knew you had a brother….or…a sister? …or both?
  • He lied he had no clue, he just knew you had some sort of sibling.
  • He was unaware it was a twin
  • A twin who worked as an assistant for a company but was looking to switch, so when they saw C&R was hiring a new chief assistant, they threw an application in
  • So here is Jumin, just sorting through some applications when he sees
  • “CM PlayerPants” 
  • He smirks at the paper, seeing all the information filled out is yours. Your home address, the general store you lived near, your school, graduation, etc.
  • Your picture was even you, just you in a suit and looking very hot professional
  • Now lets face it you and Jumin did some kinky shit sometimes
  • Sometimes your love life together involved role playing
  • Jumin was surprised at how much effort you put into this, but he wasn’t going to spoil it. 
  • He types in the phone number, it’s not your usual cell number, what did you get a prepaid phone just for this?
  • He was in awe with your dedication
  • Rrrng rrrng rrrng
  • “Hello?” Your voice answered
  • He couldn’t hide the smirk on his face “Hello there, Kitten.”
  • “I-I’m sorry?”
  • “Oh my bad” He corrected himself “Hello there, Ms. Playerpants. This is Jumin Han from C&R calling about your application”
  • “Oh! Uh, Hello! Yes, what can I do for you? Does it need any clarification?”
  • “Oh no no no, I think I read you loud and clear.” He lazily flipped through the pages of the resume in front of him
  • “Oh..ok. Is this about the position then?”
  • “Yes” A smirk found it’s way to his lips “Speaking of which, what is your favorite position?”
  • “Excuse me? I don’t think I understand?” The voice on the end was clearly taken aback. Damn, you were making him work for this.
  • “Well I figured I’d give you a say in the matter tonight since you put sooo much work into this. So Kitten, tell me, what would you like to do tonight? Maybe I’ll buy some toys on the way home an-”
  • “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU????” Click.
  • Jumin just stared at the phone confused. He shrugged it off because his desk phone went off, and when he answered it was his father calling him to a meeting. Jumin resolved to just handle whatever happened with you when he got home
  • After a long work day he came in the door to see you waiting for him. “Hello Kitten.”
  • “Hey Babe, how was work?”
  • “Good, aside from this strange phone call I made today” A small grin on his face
  • “Oh?” You cocked an eyebrow.
  • “Yes,” He purred as he walked over and started rubbing your shoulders “I thought I had found a new assistant”
  • “OH!” You exclaim, jumping up and remembering something “I forgot to tell you this morning! My twin is applying for the chief assistant job, it completely slipped my mind.”
  • “Your…twin?” Jumin cocked his brows now
  • “Yes! CM!”
  • “C….M” Jumin was quick to catch on to his mistake “Oh my god”

Seven

  • Lets face it
  • You guys may be sick of hearing this but 
  • He knew
  • Of course he knew
  • He stalked the ever-loving-shit out of you
  • He saw photos of the two of you together
  • He insists on you and your twin joining him and Saeran out for lunch all the time
  • You guys have the certified Twin Club in his brain
  • The 4 of you spend so much time together Seven can tell the slight difference between your hair and your twins. How your twin is about a centimeter taller. Your eyes are a little more wide.  He knows. 
  • Which is why he isn’t caught off guard when your twin and you show up in the same room
  • He’s not confused when he sees CM out kissing someone 
  • He knows
  • He loves it
  • #TwinSquad

V

  • His eyesight is so bad he has mini heart attacks once a week thinking he sees you out in public holding hands with someone else
  • Over time he stops freaking out, he starts to recognize you easier, which means he can play ‘Spot the Blurry Difference’ a little better when you two aren’t together
  • Until one day he’s on set doing a photo shoot for a Modeling company that requested his help
  • And he sees…MC? With a headset on ordering some people around to do this and that.
  • The voice is the same. He knows MC’s voice damn well. 
  • And that is MC
  • “MC..” V quietly calls out but with no answer.
  • ‘MC’ Disappears into the crowd of models
  • What the fuck. How could you not tell him? He was a little hurt you never shared your work life with him. Was this where you were when the two of you weren’t together? Did you think he wouldn’t be impressed because he usually focuses on more artsy photography??? Did he say something??? MC please why don’t you love hi-
  • “Hey Hun!” 
  • MC!? V whirled around to see you, but you were talking to one of the models, very flirtatiously he may add. Your hand on their arm and a sweet, sweet smile on your face as you looked at them. He could see that much.
  • He felt his heart break a bit, how could you pretend not to even see him?
  • No. No this couldn’t be you. 
  • Jihyun Kim trusts and loves you and refuses to believe you’d be evil *cough*LikeHowHeTrustedSnakeBitch*cough* 
  • He marches well marches as good as you can while visually impaired up to ‘MC’ and taps them on the arm.
  • MC turns “Can I help you?”
  • “I’m sorry, but you look extremely like a friend of mine. Her name is MC-”
  • The set director in front of him suddenly seems much more friendly “Oh! That’s my twin! Wait, are you V?? MC mentioned they were dating a photographer I didn’t realize it was the one we hired for today! Oh, I’m sorry, Hello I’m CM!”
  • Relief. So much fucking relief on V’s heart.

Vanderwood

  • Neither you nor Vanderwood were aware that Seven was being devious today
  • He had been scarce all day, leaving the two of you to go through the day in overall peacefulness. You guys had spent a bit of time together, but eventually you got up to start cleaning and doing some chores.
  • Yep that’s all normal
  • Until you suddenly walk in the door you did not leave out of
  • “MC?” Vandy stared at you as you looked at him, then walked straight back out the door you just came in
  • Then you walked in the door he thought you originally left from.
  • You crossed the room and into the hall, out of site. He was left a little slackjawed and confused
  • Then you entered from the door he just saw you enter from. Wait what
  • “MC how-”
  • You giggled and ran out another door
  • Only to come back from the hall
  • “OK LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK”
  • His outburst made you jump
  • “Vanderwood wha-”
  • Two doors behind you silently opened, and two almost carbon copies of you peaked their heads through and shushed Vanderwood
  • He was speechless and just violently pointed trying to get you to turn around, but by the time you did the copies of you were gone
  • “What in the fuck-”
  • “Vanderwood what is-”
  • “Yeah Vanderwood why-” An MC copy asked running in from the hall
  • “What’s going on?” Another one said coming in from a room
  • “What the” You looked around and Vanderwood was rubbing his eyes like crazy trying to get whatever form of psycho out of them. 
  • Upon further inspection, you realized one of your clones didn’t look like you aside from the fact they were wearing your clothes and had on a wig that looked like your hair “Seven?”
  • “You got me! Lucky~~Aha~!” Seven cheered pulling the wig off
  • “So who is-” Vanderwood looked to the last copy
  • “Oh, I’m CM! I’m MC’s twin. 707 asked if I would help him out with a little prank and I couldn’t say no” Cm giggled.
  • You all had a good laugh
  • Except Vanderwood

Saeran

  • Ok, you guys might hate me for this one
  • But
  • I feel like he also knows
  • I feel like Seven has told him, and dragged him out on the #TwinClubDates
  • There’s no way Seven wouldn’t constantly talk about you 4 being goals
  • He takes group pictures of you guys all the time
  • He shows Saeran photos of CM constantly asking if he and Saeran look more alike than MC and CM
  • Buuut
  • Even though Saeran knows, he’s totally fucked up before
  • I bet he’s accidentally kissed CM before when MC’s in a spot then leaves only for CM to be left standing somewhere close to where Saeran last saw MC
  • He’s definitely had to play the “Which one am I dating” game when you two first started going out. And he has failed and accidentally grabbed Cm’s hands, causing you two to giggle despite Saeran’s obvious saltiness
  • I’m sorry. This one is really weak but I don’t really have any ideas for it because I feel like Saeran wouldn’t make a big slip up since he’d know MC had a twin cause of Seven. 

Opps……….dick slip. Hey guys this is my new Mobile Auto Mechanic that I found in my local Newspaper Business Servives advertisement Section. Holy Fucking Shit am I ever glad that I took a chance and called him because my friends said it was a bad Idea to use a Auto Mechanic that I found in the local Newspaper Work Wanted ads that was Mobile with No Business Address where he can be tracked down if there is a problem with his work. Well as it turns out his name is Robert and he is a Sexy Hairy Deep Voiced Handsome 44 year Old Single Divorced father of 6 Sons. A white Heterosexual good old Country Boy who is a ASE Certified GM/GMC Truck Mechanic who worked for the same local GMC Dealership since he Graduated College. He was Recently layed off in the past year when the Local GMC Dealer Closed their Doors and went out of Business indefinitely. He was recently Divorced from his wife of 25 years after he caught her in bed with their 19 year Old lawn service guy. She’s a Real Whore Slut hell thay have a son that age for God Sakes.Yes he’s a handsome 6"2" 205 lb naturally sexy hard working country boy with a deep masculine sexy voice and a sexy hairy body down on his luck. What is even better he arrived at my house on time at 7:30 am on a Hot mid July Summer Saturday Morning when the Temp was already 84° with a heat index of 92° so it was Hot as Hell Already. He arrived in a Dark Brown Skin Tight T-shirt showing his perky erect nipples through the Tight Spandex Body Glove T-shirt with his company logo printed on it, a pair of thin tan silky Sheer see through Short Shorts showing off his muscular tan sexy hairy legs and he was wearing no underwear or jockstrap underneath his Shorts not even a privacy inter liner that you find in those thin sheer see through silky Shorts. Absolutely Nothing at all underneath those sexy thin silky sheer see through Shorts and like I said not even the privacy inter liner. He has Obviously and Intentionally removed the privacy inter liner of his tan thin sheer silky see through shorts to make them even more see through, And a pair of Flip Flops showing off his sexy hairy perfect shaped man feet. It took him all of 5 minutes flat before he pulled off his Tight T-Shirt exposing his sexy hairy chest and Abs. He was not a perfectly buff muscle man but he was very Naturally well built and crazy hairy everywhere from the top of his head to the tops of his sexy perfectly shaped hairy man feet and he was Sexy as hell all over!!! Wow that got me instantly excited and so fucking hard in my levies. The first thing that I noticed when he jumped and slid down out of his 6" Lifted Black on Black Ford F-250 4x4 Off Road Power Stroke 6.7 Liter Turbo Diesel Crew Cab Pick-up Truck was how handsome he was and just how Very thin, sheer and totally see through his tan silky short shorts were and how they slid and road all the way up his thick hairy Muscular straight man thighs all the way up to his crotch as he slid down out of his crazy tall lifted truck and as his feet hit the ground he had to instantly pull the legs of his shorts back down out of his crotch and I could now totally see his thick black Pubic Bush and his nicely shaped Circumcised Penis with its Pronounced Corona Rim of the head glands and his Relaxed Low Hanging Testicles through his shorts. Not much there left to the imagination if you know what I meen. It was so hot I thought I was going to just die. Like did that really just happen right in front of me? Is this hot sexy fantasy of a man really my new mechanic? Wow he was a Fucking Perfect Sexy Manly Man from the Word Start. There is Absolutely No doubt in my mind about it . He then introduced himself as Robert of Robert’s Mobile Auto/Truck Mechanic Service. Within the first 5 minutes of meeting me Robert ask if it was ok with me if he took off his shirt? I said sure that was fine with me. He didn’t actually know how fine that it actually was with me. In my mind I was screaming Oh Fucking Hell Yes Robert take it off take it all off you sexy Hairy Stud!!! Holy shit when he pulled his shirt off and exposed his Manly Hairy sexy Tanned well built chest I seriously thought I was going to cum in my pants. He is now basically standing in front of me totally Naked within the first 5 minutes of meeting him. Now with no shirt on, see through sheer short shorts showing me everything God Blessed him with and sexy naked feet in his flip flops. I was thinking to myself dose this guy know that I’m gay because he must know I’m Gay and he wants a huge tip. I felt like I went to bed friday night and woke up in the hottest Gay Porno ever. I thought I Died and woke up on Fantasy Island. I also thought to myself that my Best Friend must be punking me because this shit don’t happen in the real world. At least not to me. Ok guys It’s not that he was the Most Drop Dead Gorgeous
Man or the Most Muscular Perfectly Built Man I’d ever seen in my entire life because he’s not. But he was good looking with his scruffy face and his nicely built sexy softer shaped real man hairy body his sexy thick hairy strong thighs sexy muscular calfs his perfectly shaped hairy feet his fantastic tight Bubble Butt not to metion his hairy pretty circumcised penis and big low hanging hairy Testicles. It was more of how his sexy masculine deep Voice Sounded, the way he spoke, and the Dominant Masculine Alpha Male way he moved and carried his strong thick hairy sexy Body. His Obvious Sexual Confidence in himself. The way that he was so obviously sexually Secure in his Hanhood. It Radiated from him. The Sexy way he was dressed and was so comfortable being dressed in that sexy way in front of another man. What pulled me in was the Fact that he was Trully an Alpha Male all the way and that He knew it and Worked it perfectly to his Advantage!!! Now that’s Sexy guys. He Had me at his Deep Good Morning My Name Is Robert with his Strong Thick Calloused Man Hands, Hand shake. Not to Mention Robert Is an Alpha Male Name. He then proceeded to freely tell me all about himself and his entire life story without me even having to ask him a thing. Robert is A Crazy Personable Friendly Down to earth Sexy Manly Masculine Man’s Man. It was now 9:00 am and I’ve basically been talking to a Sexy Hairy Naked Man in My Driveway for the past hour and a half and he has not even lifted a 🔧 wrench yet. What Must My Nosey Old Neighbors be thinking at this time. Oh I know. They were thinking that Fucking Faggot Across the Street is at it again and in the front yard this Time. Robert told me that I was his only Scheduled Customer for Saturday so he was in no hurry if I wasn’t in a hurry. He said that he really enjoyed and felt comfortable talking to me and that I was a good listener and how much that ment to him because most guys don’t care enough to listen. I was thinking I’m not most guys Im a Homosexual Guy but I kept my mouth shut. Robert told me that he thought I was a real cool guy and how much he had enjoyed the morning so far just talking to me and that we should hang out sometime. I’d say. I loved talking to a Practically Naked Sexy Hairy well built Masculine Alpha Male Auto Mechanic. Definitely a Man’s Man. What an Absolutely awesome sexy good looking hairy kind man. Well it was now 9:00 am and he said I guess I should start looking at your Truck now ha? I ask him if it would be ok if I stuck around and watched him work on my 4x4 Off Road Ford Pick-up Truck and he said Absolutely. So I told Robert that I’ve been hearing clicking in the front right wheel hub so I’m thinking the wheel Bearings are going out. (What happened next just about sent me Fucking Packing to the Moon.) Robert said ok cool I’ll check it out for you as he squatted Down at my Front Passenger Wheel to grab the front tire and twist it to see if it has any movement. So as Robert squatted down directly in front of me and faceing me his Hairy Genitals penis and testicles completely slipped out of his shorts and Robert was down there for a few minutes and he did not even try to cover up or pull his genitals back inside his shorts. He totally just let them hang for me to see. I’m not complaining by the way. I almost shot my sperm load in my jeans and I was Noticeably Fully Erect in my levis. I noticed that Robert keep looking up at my Huge Throbbing Erect Penis Bulge in my tight levis and you could absolutely Positively see the Wet Spot in front of my tight worn faded levis where my Fully Erect Penis Head was laying and Pre-Cumming like Crazy. I get really Wet and Leak a Cum Load of Pre-cum when I Get Sexually Excited and believe me Robert Had Me Incredibly Sexually Excited to the point it felt like someone turned on the Pre-Cum faucet to full open in my tight levis. Believe me Robert saw it all. Robert had to know and feel that his genitals were fully and freely hanging and Dangling out the side of his shorts in front of me but he never tryed to cover them back up. So I was getting an eye full of his hairy circumcised penis and testicals. So I quick got my phone out my pocket and discreetly took a picture of his penis and testicles slipping out of his shorts. Oh my God did that just happen??? Best Fucking Day Ever by far. The only thing that would have made it better is if Robert’s Penis would have became fully Erect in front of me but unfortunately for me his penis stayed completely flaccid soft the entire time it was fully exposed to me. Although I did notice that his big hairy very low hanging Testicles went from nearly hanging on the ground when they first slipped out of his shorts to tightening up close to his body in just a few minutes after they first slipped out of his shorts. I think I jerked off over that all afternoon and Ejaculated at least 6 times. Needless to say he is now my permanent Truck Mechanic. We are supposed to go out for dinner next weekend and then come back to my house to hang out and watch the New Batman Superman Movie that’s coming out this Tuesday on DVD and have a few drinks. The crazy thing is he already ask me if it would be ok to crash here at my house after the movie because he dose not Drive after Drinking. I said hell yeah it’s ok. Good boy for not drinking and driving. I have something else in mind after the movie and a lot of Drinking now that I’ve seen his genitals and it definitely dose not involve any sleeping. I hope that Robert has the same thing in mind. I Hope I at least see his penis Erect. I’ll let you guy’s know if we have Sex.

A RichJake Fanfic

‘Ow.’ was the first thing Rich thought when he woke up. ‘Fucking shit, that hurts.’ Was the next.

The next thing he thought was ‘What the fuck?’ when he saw the tubes connecting him to an oxygen bag. Then he saw the scars. The scars etched into his skin, reminding him of what happened. The scars that, he knew from the moment he saw them, would taunt him forever.

He expected a shock. One that would make him stand up straighter, make him open his eyes up more, make him smile. It never came.
He expected the voice in his head telling him ‘No Richard, that’s wrong.’ and ‘Do that Richard, not that.’ It wasn’t there anymore. All that was left was the occasional glitch.

He sat up. That was all he could do, lying in a hospital bed with no TV nearby, or phone. He blinked. It became apparent that no, the fire wasn’t a dream.

‘Oh fuck, what did I do?’ Was the last distinguishable thought that popped into his head. Then, they became a blur. ‘How much damage did I do?’ ‘Is everyone ok?’ ‘IS JAKE OK?’

“Oh my god, Rich is awake!” The voice broke him out of his approaching anxiety attack. Whipping his head around, (which he realised was a bad idea after feeling the pain from his settling scars) Rich realised that it was Jeremy Heere’s friend… he couldn’t remember the kid’s name, who was standing in the doorway.

“Hello? Rich? RICH?” The boy said as he ran over to him, flailing his arms infront of Rich’s face.

Rich came to his senses and slapped the boy’s hands away. “WHAT?!”

The boy rolled his eyes. There was a distinct pause as the boy silently scanned him. He then sighed. “You have no idea who I am, do you?”

“No fucking clue.”

Another slightly sad sigh. “Michael Mell. Jeremy’s best friend.”

“Nithe to meet you.” Rich said, reaching out a heavily bandaged arm. ‘Oh shit.’ He then thought. ‘Oh holy fucking shit shrine.’

“You-”
‘Oh god please no.’
“Have a lisp?”

Rich closed his eyes in exasperation. He had forgotten about that.

“No, I jutht like thaying eth'th like that.” He grunted, sarcasm dripping from his every word.

“Jeez, dude, stop getting so defensive.” Michael raised his eyebrows, put his hands up and stepped back in defeat.

“Jutht don’t… talk about it. Pleathe?” Rich stared Michael in the eye, almost threatening him to keep going. 

“Sure bro.” Michael replied casually, probably not even noticing the baleful glance.
“So…” Michael looked down, not wanting to ask the question that was lingering on his tongue, “why’d you do what you did?” He inquired tentatively.

“Don’t,” was the answer. Rich wasn’t even sure himself.

— a month later –

The TV was on. Rich had been moved to a more open room when the doctor’s found out that he was awake. They had told him that he was “Lucky to be alive,” and that they thought he was dead. He almost wished that were true.

He wasn’t paying attention the screen. Lights flickered from it onto the bromidic, white wall as some inaudible noise hummed in the background. Rich had no idea what the yelling woman was angry about, nor did he really care. He didn’t care about much these days.

Most of his friends had come to see him. He had found out, over the past month, that they were real friends.
He and Christine had become fast friends, geeking over the newest Broadway musicals. He had discovered that he had a certain soft spot for musical theatre.  
Chloe was one of his closest friends, which was a surprise to both of the two. They had never really liked each other before, by association. She was his best friend’s ex, he was her ex’s best friend. However, it had all been resolved and she had helped him to paint his nails (which was double as difficult, because they had to convince the doctors that no, Dr. Beck, it’s not secretly alcohol and no, Dr. Duke, we’re not going to stain the bedsheets) and he helped her through her Physics homework, which he had always had an affinity for.
Brooke was forever kind, constantly telling him that he’s not a crusty nerd that deserves to be in the gutter.
Jenna was constantly filling him in with the latest gossip (which he didn’t care much about but he humoured her anyway) and never failed to make him laugh with her own, slightly untrue, details.
Rich could share experiences with Jeremy, about Squips. They were each others’ support for things they knew no one else would understand.
Michael was his friend. There was nothing specific they had in common, but they were the comedic relief in the time that everyone needed it.

There was only one person that wasn’t there. Everyone knew it, but no one said a thing. It would just make their absence more prominent.

'Where are you, Jake? Why haven’t you come by?’

It was a thought that ran through Rich’s head everyday. That day, it was one of the only thoughts that was there.

'Do you hate me? I know I deserve it but I need to see you. Will you hate me even more if you see the mess I really am? Will you ever forgive me?’

His face was ever there in Rich’s mind. Every time he laughed, every time he broke down. Jake was constantly haunting him.

— two months later —

He was being let out soon. At least, that’s what he had overheard when he passed their table. All of them seemed so happy, so overjoyed. So… why wasn’t he?

Jake distanced himself as much as he could. He had tried to stick to normal life. To pretend that it never happened, to pretend that people like Jeremy, Christine, Chloe and Rich had never existed. It was just Jake Dillinger against the world, and he was fine with that. Of course, he wasn’t.
He wanted nothing but to be sitting there with them, celebrating the fact that his best frie- ex best friend was almost back from hospital. He had to keep reminding himself that Rich was his ex best friend. He had incinerated his entire house, for god’s sake! But as hard as he tried, he couldn’t be mad. Rich’s face kept popping up into his head. It wouldn’t go. Whenever he pretended to laugh with his popular friends, at something that wasn’t even funny, he would start to reminisce the times when that laugh wasn’t fake, when he would be cackling like a witch at something stupid Rich had said. Then he’d mentally slap himself for being stupid, and go back to daily life.

He wished it would be different. He wished he could muster up the courage to just go to the damn hospital. But he was too scared.

'Jake Dillinger, scared?’ A voice he knew all too well said in his head. 'Now that doesn’t sound the Jakey-D I know! C'mon bro, go get 'em!’ Rich’s words from his first football game as captain echoed in his ears.
They were fake. That wasn’t Rich. That was his Squip. He had never even known Rich. At least, that’s what a tiny, vexatious voice kept whispering every single time he was close to getting in his car and driving straight up to the hospital. But Jake knew. Jake knew that the real Rich was always there, that he did know the real Rich. He had to have known him, because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t.

He was going to do it. Definitely. He just needed to… figure out how to not fuck up.

'God, this is much harder than I thought it would be.’ He thought.
'Let’s just fucking do it.’

And so Jake Dillinger cracked open the stiff, hospital door with his crutch, and saw him. He saw Richard Goranski, sitting on his creaky, $50 hospital mattress playing Mario Kart with Michael Mell. His grin was wider than Jake had ever seen it, and his hair was pushed back with sweat. He looked almost… hot. Jake then swiftly drew his crutch back, closing the door.

He took a deep breath. 'I can’t fucking do this. I should just… leave forever.’ He peered through the window of the door. Could he break such a happy, serene moment? Could he fucking buck up enough to do this?
'Yeah I fucking can!’ Jake thought, and so he slammed open the door with his crutch.

“I’ll fucking beat your ath, Michael!” Rich yelled as he revved his engine.
“Fucking try me hoe,” Michael challenged. They flashed each other grins as the race began. They were abruptly stopped however, when the ward’s door was slammed open, possibly scuffing the plain walls behind. The pair jumped in surprise, and swivelled their heads around until they could’ve been likened to owls. Standing in the doorway, with a nervous smile on his face, was the last person they could’ve expected.

Silence. For almost a solid minute, there was silence.

Then, it was broken. “Jake?”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So…. I did this? Just to be clear; I’m not a writer in any way. I did this at 12am on my phone and only wrote this because I ran out of richjake content and needed something, ANYTHING about richjake.

I don’t know if I’ll continue this. I probably will because I have no life, but I honestly have no clue. Also sorry about not having a cut…. ahahaha yeahhh I don’t know how to put one in. If anyone could tell me that would be great thanks!

If you want to get tagged in the next one then just ask! (Like anyone will want to read more of this trash but oh well I tried)

If you also have any ideas for a name that would be greeeaaat because I’m even worse at naming than I am at writing and that’s saying something also im accidentally taunting all of u expensive headphones shippers and im really sorry oops ahaha updated ao3 version: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11494200/chapters/25784262
One night

@neverland1924
So here’s your requested angsty Shawn, I hope you like it.
Please send in more requests.

LIKE SERIOUSLY GUYS TALK TO ME. REQUEST ME. I LOVE TALKING. IM NOT SCARY.


••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Do you have to go?”

You glanced back at shawn, who was lying on your bed, watching you with those smouldering eyes.

“Im just saying yanno, you always say how we don’t spend enough time together and then you just leave?”

You sigh and turn back to the mirror. “Shawn don’t try to pin this on me. You know ive had this planned for weeks.” Making a small adjustment to your dress you wander out of your bedroom and across the landing to the bathroom.

You hear the bed squeak as shawn adjusts himself and you assume he is getting up to follow you. You reach over the sink to search for your makeup bag and begin applying a light layer of concealer to the underside of your eyes to cover the light circles forming there.

The two of you had been having this discussion on and off since last night and the effects where beginning to show. You were just so sick of it, of everything. Everyone else had their boyfriend around 24/7 but you didn’t. Of course you didn’t blame shawn for that. It was his job, and you knew that it would be like this, you signed up for it, assuring yourself that it didn’t really matter as long as you loved each other.

You caught sight of shawn in the corner of the mirror, leaning casually against the door frame, watching you yet again. He seemed more solid than yesterday, as though he was physically planting himself in front of you to prevent you leaving. You knew he wouldn’t do that, he had always respected your space, but it annoyed you.

You took in a deep breath, “look Shawn, I know its not ideal, but these guys have really been here for me-“

“you mean like I haven’t?”

You checked his profile in the mirror, his jaw was clenched and somehow his arms, that had been hung loosely were now crossed tightly across his chest. Exhaling deeply you replied “That’s not what I said and you know it.”

“But it is what you meant, isn’t it?” he muttered.

You turned around. “no shawn, its not.”

He laughed at you derisively, “of course it is, your doing this to punish me.”

You whirled round in shock.

“What” he asked defensively.

“Are you fucking kidding me shawn?” tears pooling behind your eyes, you shook your head lightly. “That’s completely out of order!”

“No its not, you’ve decided that since im away for months you can just replace me with anyone who will you give you attention.” You watch his eyes flit to yours, waiting for a reaction, but you refuse to give him one. You refuse to let him spoil this night for you.

“I know its unfortunate timing” you begin but he doesn’t let you finish.

He makes use of his large frame and lifts himself off the door jamb, his hair almost brushing to top of the doorway, before continuing his rant, “Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve got another bloke on the go.”

You turn your back on him and quickly swipe a stray tear that had released itself. You reach back into your makeup bag and take out an eyeshadow. Just as your about to apply the powder to the brush its thrown out of your hands. “Will you just stop doing your makeup for one fucking minute?!”

“Fuck off shawn.” You snarl at him stretching to retrieve the container from the sink where it had fallen. However his long arm reaches the container faster and removes it from your grasp.

“Not until you talk to me.” You make a grab for the powder but he quickly hides it behind his back.

Annoyed you push off the sink and leave the room, you hear his footsteps padding along softly behind you. “Where are you going?”

“To get my shoes” you state simply.

He follows you through to the bedroom, “im sorry, I shouldn’t of said that thing about the cheating-“

“No you shouldn’t.” you snap at him, pushing past him as you head back to the bathroom.

“I just, I know its selfish, but I want you to myself? You can see your friends any time.”

“That’s not the point” you murmur at him. Rummaging back through your makeup bag.

“Then what is the point? The way I see it your choosing your friends over me.” He sighs, reaching for you.

You brush him off impatiently, “You mean like you choose your job over me?”

“That’s not fair-“

You cut him off. “No, you know whats not fair? You. You don’t get to pick and choose when I hang out with my friends. I know the timing sucks but I don’t think its too much to ask to be able to go out with my friends.”

“Well I don’t think its too much to ask to spend one night with my girlfriend.” He shouts back with barely contained anger.

“Exactly, one night.” You reply, voice dripping with contempt. “Its one night. Its always only one night. Your gone all the time, and that sucks, its like im dating the invisible man. You’re never here.”

“Its times like this im glad im not here.”

“Its times like this I wish I was still single.” You retort.

You watch as his features crumple, and reach forward to soothe him. Or at least you try to but he moves away from you. As quickly as the vulnerability came through it disappears.

“I cant believe this.” He whispers. “ I cant believe your using my job as an excuse.”

“I cant believe your using my friends as an excuse!” you cry, moments away from breaking down.

“Had you ever thought,” he replies, glaring scathingly at you “that maybe, just maybe I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend?” your heart melts at his words, and a part of you almost gives in.

“You put so much effort into your friends, maybe you should do the same for your boyfriend.”

“Well excuse me for trying to keep my friends” you explode at him “You know, the people who are ACTUALLY AROUND UNLIKE YOU”

He stares at you in shock as a few tears roll down your cheeks, hot and heavy.

“I came back for you.”

“maybe you never should have left in the first place” you mutter swiping furiously at your cheeks.

“this wasn’t supposed to be so hard” he sighs, running a hand through his knotted hair. “This isn’t fair on you anymore maybe we should just-“

“Don’t you dare. You do not get to that. You don’t get to ditch me over the fact that your not here. Ive learned to deal with it. Im sure you can manage one night.” You watch as he sits on the rim of the bath. “I mean it shawn, stop making me out to be the bad guy.”

He blinks at you as you reach down to tie your shoe. You struggle to tie the straps as your vision is blurred with help back tears but you refuse to give in.

“y/n… please just don’t go” He whispers.

You continue to struggle with your shoes, “Who do you think you are? Its one fucking night shawn. Cant I have one night?”

“You can every night from now on.”

You glance up at him to check if he was being serious, upon seeing his emotionless face your hands begin to tremble and you collapse onto the floor in a heap. “Its just one night” you murmur.

Shawn watches you struggle for a moment before shifting onto the floor. He pulls your leg towards him and wordlessly begins to tie your shoe delicately. “You didn’t even tell me you were coming…” reaching out you tilt his face towards you to meet his eyes. “You know I would have planned it differently otherwise”

You needed him to know, he had to understand that as much as you loved him he wasn’t in control of your life. But damn did you love him.

“Its not one about the goddamn dinner y/n. Why don’t you get that?” he begs you to understand.

“Then what is it about shawn?” you ask tiredly.

“we never get to spend time together.”

“I know.”

He sighs, holding your ankle in his lap, “What are we gonna do?”

You stare at the ground for a few moments before speaking. “I don’t know shawn… I really don’t. But you know I love you right?”

He nods at you, reaching for the other foot.

“Wow,” you joke, poking him in the cheek “no I love you back?”

He meets your eye and stands up, dropping both your feet out of his lap. You stare at him in confusion, why hasn’t he said it back? Your gaze never leaves him as he stretches, body rippling.

“Shawn?” you whisper timidly.

He grabs onto your hand and pulls you up in front of him, quickly kissing the top of your forehead. “I love you too.”

You release a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding in as you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck for a hug. A small cry escapes your lips as he swoops your feet off the ground and carries you down the stairs.

Gently he sets you back down onto your feet.

“Go and have fun with your friends, ill be here when you get back”

SVT Cute Jobs; Junhui !!

Originally posted by kyungminie

look at him saving minghao i think so yeah this is a thing. accept it

also i put in a lot of research to this damn thank you wikipedia 

¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸

-first of all

-CUE THE BAYWATCH THEME SONG

-sorry 

-okay so Jun recently moved from Shenzhen to sunny California to work as a lifeguard

-because his friend Joshua (who is a guitar teacher) has a free room and is letting him stay there 

-GetYourselfAFriendLikeJoshua2k17

-so in the time before becoming a lifeguard he had to take a course which was tiring but paid in the end cause he got the job !!

-he’s the youngest on the team and the least experienced when it comes to saving lives and stuff

-so he just sits up in the tower alerting his fellow lifeguards of anyone who’s drowning

-when it’s not too crowded on the beach Junhui would normally help the kids in the shallow ends of the water and play with them awwww

-and when the beach is super desolate his friends come by and pretend to drown in really shallow water so he gets fed up 

-takes the lifesaving buoy

-puts it around the necks

-and drags them back to shore

-(im sure he would be fired for that but oh well)

-but i can tell you they mean well i sweaR

-the first time there’s an emergency 

-there was a person out to sea and they were being dragged out pretty far

-damn 

-Jun got shook out of his life because he didn’t know what the hell to do 

-so he took in the advice that he got from Joshua 

-which was to keep calm

-and so he was calm from there on out

-radioed his captain

-and people were sent out to get them 

-and was able to get that person to safety 

-from the comfort of the tower

-good kid

-ah the beach

-you and your friend haven’t been to the beach in ages

-and both decided this was the year that you two get a summer romance

-ah

-maybe

-you two had a bet 

-kind of

-whoever got a number off someone by the end of the day then the other person would buy them ice cream

-your swimsuit was chosen by the help of your mother

-why

-it was sweet but it was a two piece

-two pieces weren’t exactly your thing

-bruh

-so you just wore a baggy t-shirt over it

-luckily it wasn’t super packed like always

-you two chose a place close to the shore so that you could keep an eye out for your stuff

-”y/n put sunscreen on!!”

-you heard your friend but your attention was somewhere else

-a lifeguard was watching you two as you placed your things down and sat on your towels

-”y/n?? oh, the lifeguard, huh~?”

-”wait what do you mean??”

-”the lifeguard. right there. y/n i know you’re not blind just look over there. hes caught your eye hasn’t he??”

-”oh him yeah i guess…”

-your friend kept on teasing you but she meant well 

-you snap out of it laughing a little

-the lifeguard in question however

-he was taken by your beauty 

-he was like bruuuuuUUUUUUUH

-damn he thought you looked really good

-”y/n!! come into the sea with me!”

-”not yet, i’ll just sit here for the time being!”

-the lifeguard you recently got the hots for noticed you sitting alone while your friend was in the sea

-you looked kinda down

-so he comes over to cheer you up!!

-at first you’re nervous as heck cause who is this and why are you near me you’re too hot to be near me 

-he asks if you’re feeling alright and if you needed company

-you werent going to lie

-if a cute lifeguard came up to you and asked if you wanted some company then hell yes you would say yes

-so you take him up on that offer

-”you’re a new lifeguard, right??”

-”yeah…wait how do you know?”

-wait fuck how did you know

-”i-i just notice…i’ve been going to this beach ever since i was little..”

-”wow seeing this view every time must be pretty right??”

-“i guess…”

-”what’s your name?”

-and just like that somehow he asked your name and you didn’t cry or run

-”y/n. whats yours?”

-”Jun. your name is really pretty.”

-o h   s  hi t 

-”wow thank you !!”

-but

-god damn it

-out of the corner of your eye

-you could see your friend struggling in the water

-you couldn’t really let Jun the really hot lifeguard get her

-you really wanted him to sit down since you’ve seen him walk about today

-so fuck it

-”hey could you excuse me for like one moment??”

you stood up 

-took your shirt off

-ran toward the water

-pulling your friend out of the water

-saving her god damn life

-and in the midsts of all of it

-Wen Junhui was #shook™

-there was blushin too oh my god

-”what did i say about going in the deep part?? stop giving me heart attacks pls this is a nice day don’t scare me you little shit”

-”im sorry y/n…wait is that the lifeguard?”

-”oh yeah thats Jun hes pretty cool”

-he stood up to see if your friend was okay but he also wanted to praise you on that good rescue

-”that was so cool wtf !!”

-”huh? oh she normally does that just ask any lifeguard in the tower about her and they’ll say she had to be saved like 20 times”

-”not my fault…if you would only give me the inner tube”

-”but then it’s going to be drifted away in the sea because of the current”

-”right”

-jun was kind of amazed at how much you knew about sea safety….maybe ene more than him da M N

-but the day also went on as planned

-jun kind of kept on coming back and was asking questions to get to know you like whats your favourite colour and stuff

-every time he came back your heart was screaming but the good screaming

-not the ah oh my god no go away youre annoying scream 

-but the aAAA come back more we can chat more you’re really cool and cute scream

-hes really sweet i swear down

-at the end of the day you two started to pack up your things 

-but then Junhui came back with his lifeguarding jacket on and boi does he look fuckin great in that jacket

-”hey y/n have you considered becoming a life guard??”

-”me?? a life guard?? oh not really but my mum has mentioned it before”

-”why don’t you do it?”

-”yeah why don’t you y/n? you and Jun could be the super cute lifeguarding couple omg that sounds so cutE”

-your friend just had to butt in gdI

-a rather LARGE feckin blush appeared on your cheeks but you ignored it

-kind of

-but jun was blushing and smiling

-w h y    t h e    f u c k   w a s    h e    s m i l i n g    a t    t h a t 

-”oh do you want to be a lone? i’ll leave”

-your friend left you two to talk and you were glad she did tbh cause she can get carried away sm

-”so…if you ever want to join the team, then you can call me or text me or something…”

-”i thought the lifeguard tower already had a phone number??”

-y / n     c o m e     o n      t h i s      i s n ‘ t       r o c k e t      s c i e n c e 

-”ooooooh sure.. yeah, i’ll text you.”

-”or…if not the lifeguarding thing we can always hang out or something…”

-”that would be nice Jun.”

-you both gave your numbers to each other and you both left each other extremely happy

-catching up with your friend you remembered something

-”hey….im really craving ice cream…you paying”

-”no you can– oh fuck- did you?!”

-”got his number~!”

-”f u CK”

lxncekogane  asked:

Hi Mogi! Are there any Klance fics that you would recommend? Thanks :)

Oh good golly gosh, here goes my afternoon, because youre about to get a shit ton. xD

If you want to peruse my bookmarks feel free. the link has been filtered down to only klance fics, enjoy your time sifting through 150+ fics ^^; (i have no self control)  And then theres any of my stuff here because i need validation and have no shame with self plugs, but ill put the focus on the other fics for right now. ^^

But here are the ones i reallllyyyy recommend outside of the big name fics that literally the whole fandom knows about.:

Make Me Your Home by Reader115

Summary: “Oh my god, Keeeith,” Lance wheezed. “Keith you’re the best drunk space cadet I’ve ever seen.”“Space cadet,” Keith mumbled. He repeated the words again although his eyes had zeroed in on Lance’s hands and Lance offered no resistance when Keith picked one of them up and pulled it possessively towards his lap. He began to gently trace over Lance’s fingers, sending shivers up Lance’s arm and down his spine. “You have looong fingers,” Keith murmured after a few moments.Keith’s face perked up then, as if he’d just had a brilliant idea, and Lance could almost not wait to hear what new obscure thought had entered Keith’s pretty head. He was prepared to laugh, and instead found himself shivering again as Keith leaned far into his personal bubble, lips practically touching Lance’s ear when he spoke next.“I bet you could reach all kinds of things, Lance.”Update: Now with ART by suitboxers!!
WC: 38169 (6/6)
General Notes: just, omg? this fic has like it all, and it all fits into s2?? yes please?? i could not get enough of this fic and talking with the author, there is a rumor that they might write an epilogue and i like high key died. 10/10

Today, anew by MemeKonVLD

Summary: “Lance.”Lance’s eyebrows furrow in concern for a second before his whole face goes gentle and open.“Hey buddy, everything okay?”Keith nods. Then shakes his head, then opens his mouth to let out a noisy sob before he’s hugging the air out of Lance, grip vise tight.Lance hugs him back. That’s one of the great things about him— he doesn’t— he doesn’t need explanations for things like this. He doesn’t make Keith jump through hoops, the way other people might— he’s just— he just knows what Keith needs in times like this. No façades, no posturing.(Or: the one where Keith is trapped in a time loop. A time loop from hell.)
WC: 5910 (6/6 chapters)
General Notes: this was interesting to say the least, and one of my latest reads. I really enjoyed, told from Keiths pov and he’s stuck in a time loop. Angsty, but has a happy ending. 8/10

Voltron Cafe by PinkHitman

Summary:  Lance is the number one butler at a maid cafe, and his number one customer? Just his old High School rival Keith.
WC: 66422 (14/?)
General Notes: This is really funny and quirky. Lance is adorable in all his dorky glory. The whole team is there and i cant count the times ive had to stifle laughter reading it because it was 3am and i really needed to sleep but, hey what are you going to do xD theres also a blog @voltron-cafe and the art is just as quirky as the fic and i love it to all get out. 9/10

a truth in the blood by angstinspace

Summary: “I’m Galra, Lance.”It’s the first time he’s said those words out loud––and to Lance of all people. He should feel horrified at himself but somehow, he doesn’t. In fact, an eerie calmness has settled over him. Everything comes sharply into focus as he stands there, still holding Lance’s wrist, breathing in and out, waiting for a response. A post “Blade of Marmora” fix-it fic. Mostly broganes & klance bonding.
WC: 7489
General Notes: So theres a little bit of angst in this, but it does a really good job of filling in the blanks of what could have happened between ep8 and ep9 of s2. I really liked it, has some Broganes in there and Klance bonding. 8/10

Starlight by epiproctan

Summary: For once, Lance tries to be responsible for something. Namely, his feelings. Needless to say it doesn’t go well.
WC: 7719
General Notes: Lance pov, honestly this boy tries so hard to keep the team dynamic the same, but it never goes well. goes with the trope that EVERYONE knows about mutual pining klance, but goes a different direction just for the hell of it. i loved it. 9/10

He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

Summary: In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.
WC: 64888 (13/13)
General Notes: holy fuck do i love this fic, cuz like, wow. Im a sucker for dragons and i loved the way the author inocrporated them into this fic and made it freaking work. A+++. Lots of action, drama-rama and Lance learns a thing or two about hs feelings along the way. 10/10

Burning Love by TeaAndKittens

Summary: An injury sustained on the job for firefighter Keith means an extended medical leave that makes him feel useless and angry. He’s so desperate to get back to his crew at Station 5 that he’s almost willing to try anything - except yoga. Especially after Hunk calls this friend of his that owns a yoga studio and Keith gets supporting evidence for his claim that only crazy people practice yoga.Somehow, despite all of that, Hunk and Shiro manage to bully him into at least trying it. He shows up for that first class expecting to hate it. What he’s not expecting is for Hunk’s friend to be hot like the fire of a thousand suns. Or even more insane in person.Or: Keith’s life. So Hard.
WC: 7017 (2/?)
General Notes: Firefighter Keith and yoga instructor lance,,, um yes please! this fic is just getting started but i really love it so far. 8/10

Sharps and Accidentals by Zizzani

Summary: Keith is a talented up and coming violin virtuoso. Lance hates him immediately.Or an AU in which Lance and Keith both attend the same music university. Keith is deaf. Lance is Trying™.
WC: 39528 (9/?)
General Notes: ok, so i just really love this a lot. im a band nerd so music is like my thing, and this is honestly great. Deaf keith, and lance… poor lance, hes trying ok? Im a couple updates behind, but i really love it a lot. 9/10

bouncing off exit signs by steelthighsvoideyesSummary:

Summary: This is the story of two absolute idiots who keep searching for what they’ve already found.
WC: 40147 (yes on chap xD)
General Notes: this is like one of those comfort fics for me, i binged it one night, and it was amazing. Based off the song Closer by The Chainsmokers. honeslty, well done. 10/10

Duly Noted by TeaAndKittens

Summary: Keith has a box full of scraps of paper, a lovingly archived collection of all the notes Lance has written him so far in their relationship. Their son has a box just like it, and soon their newly adopted daughter will too.Or: 5 (-ish) notes Lance wrote to Keith, beginning with the one that started it all, and 1 Keith wrote back
WC: 4913
General Notes: this was so fucking cute that i really couldnt stop smiling the whole way through. lance leaving notes everywhere is just so him. 10/10

The Quiet by MilkTeaMiku

Summary: Does he not realise he’s dead?Keith can see ghosts. As a part of his Garrison training, he’s sent to a hospital to do one year of medical clerkship - it’s there that he meets a charmingly irritating ghost who definitely needs to learn what boundaries are.
WC: 38000 (19/?)
General Notes: Stop reading this list and fucking read this oh my gawd. It is that good, go on, shoo 10/10

Flirting with Death by drippingpen

Summary: Keith commits the ultimate taboo as a grim reaper: he saves a life.More specifically, he saves Lance’s life.Now they are forever linked, unable to survive without the other. Keith must protect Lance from the forces that are trying to right Keith’s wrong and kill Lance.
WC: 29346 (9/?)
General Notes: yoooo, my friend is reading this, and she is doing such a great job with it. Grim Reaper Keith and lance is high key supposed to be dead, and its awesome. Pidge is as nosey as ever and Hunk is pure™. give it a read, really. 10/10

Days Like Today by literal_trashbaby

Summary: For all Lance’s snarking and posturing, all that easy, cheery confidence, for all his charm and his pretty, pretty smiles (which absolutely did not make Keith a little weak in the knees, no sir). Just every now and then, Keith thought his smile would go just a tiny bit tight around the edges, and he’d go just a little quiet… well, quiet for Lance. And on the days when Lance was just that little bit… Not-Lance, like a force of nature he would, without fail, pull one side of his lower lip into his mouth and just chew on it, destroying those poor, perfect lips. Days like today.OR: Lance is Having a Day and Keith is somehow the only person to notice.
WC: 3159
General Notes: I love it when people write Keith picking up on Lance’s tendencies, its so freaking cute and my heart cannot handle. 9/10

so why don’t we fall by akinghtley

Summary: Five times Lance used a pet name for Keith, and one time Keith used one for Lance.Keith has no basis for having a relationship with someone, so he’s trying to follow Lance’s lead.
WC: 8218
General Notes: NSFW saying that now. but i love pet names, and this was all so cute. Touch of angst, but it makes up for it with fluff. I love it. 9/10


I think tht does it for fic recs rn, i could literally go through all of my bookmarks and list every one of them, but lets face it that would take forever.

Hope you enjoy all that fics!

132 Thoughts I Had While Watching the PLL Finale
  1. OMG Bridget Woo LOL nice throwback 
  2. This is like a dream sequence or someone’s imagination, right?
  3. Definitely has to be Mona’s imagination.
  4. Lucas WTF 
  5. Ha the girls don’t seem the least bit enthused with him “Hey Lucas” 
  6. “Remember when we used to look up murder weapons, indistinctive traits of psychopaths exhibiting signs of hyper-reality disorder” IM YELLING 
  7. JENNA! BITCH YOU IS BLIND WHY ARE YOU RIDING A HORSE?
  8. I low-key love all of the truth tea they’re spilling, even though it’s not real 
  9. HA I KNEW IT WAS MONA’S CRAZY ASS
  10. So Mona gets to know who A.D. is first? 
  11. OMG THEY ALL DID THE SHHHH  
  12. Aw Ezria y’all are cute. 
  13. YASSS ARIA OWN THAT UGLY CRY 
  14. OMG EMISON TWINS FUCK THEY’RE SO CUTE 
  15. Lily and Grace are such sweet names 
  16. DOMESTIC EMISON!!! HEY NOW HEY NOW THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF 
  17. MAMA PAM YES 
  18. Melissa and Spencer getting along? Ehhhh idk about that 
  19. OW MY SPOBY HEART 
  20. Oh my god she re-bought his truck? I love Spencer so much. 
  21. Hey that’s Marlene’s son!
  22. ADDISON YOU BITCH STFU 
  23. Alison would END YOU 
  24. Who bullies someone just because they’re deaf? 
  25. And there’s Jenna tapping along… 
  26. OH YES END HER JENNA  
  27. Lolololol she became a life skills teacher I love it 
  28. Haleb is still cute even when they’re fighting 
  29. MONA’S BACK YES 
  30. Of course she would be obsessed with game shows 
  31. Spencer’s love for interior design making an appearance, I love it!
  32. SPALISON IS SO CUTE 
  33. Aria’s dress here is really cute! 
  34. "Wait for it”  
  35. Lol but I could so see them all going on a group honeymoon to Paris together 
  36. Oh shit where’s Mona? 
  37. "That’s exactly why we eloped.” Only in Rosewood y'all 
  38. This scene was all Ian haha 
  39. They’re such a cute family OWW MY HEART 
  40. MELISSA???  
  41. Ella could take down Diane in a SECOND  
  42. Love me some Spanna!  
  43. EMISON IS ABOUT TO GET THEIR SEXY ON 
  44. LOL everyone casually sneaks off to go have sex and then there’s just Spencer and Toby 
  45. THEY’RE PLAYING SCRABBLE FUCKKKKK
  46. Damn Ezria get it. Nice throwback to 5x05 with Aria pulling the sheets over her! 
  47. JESUS EMISON LET ME BREATHE 
  48. Emily has that sex hair right now! 
  49. “I’m trying to get pregnant” “You’re scaring my ovaries” Oh Hanna.  
  50. MELISSA STOP BEING CREEPY 
  51. OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING. SPOBY PARALLELS TO 1x19 OMG 
  52. Aria baby what’s wrong? 
  53. OF COURSE IT’S MONA UNDER THERE 
  54. So now Mona’s working for A.D.? 
  55. Aria I’m so heartbroken for you baby!!! (ALSO IS THAT THE SONG FROM THAT SUPER SAD SCENE IN SEASON ONE AHHH THE FEELS) 
  56. LOL Mona you sly bitch 
  57. Uhhh Spencer what are you doing? 
  58. ARIA APOLOGIZING FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE KIDS IM SOBBING 
  59. HOPE BREEDS ETERNAL MISERY OMG 
  60. Oh Hanna baby what is you doing?  
  61. Byron you big softie! 
  62. Poor Ella, but THE WINE MOMS ARE BACK YASSSS 
  63. OH MY GOD THEY’RE DISCUSSING HOW THEY GOT OUT OF THE BASEMENT LOLOLOL 
  64. Toby and Emily are such an underrated friendship 
  65. WOAH WAIT that girl is Maya’s niece? HOW SWEET 
  66. Spoby I miss you so much 
  67. LIMERANCE  
  68. Ah looks like the Wine Moms had a fun night 
  69. Ezria stop fighting right this second YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED 
  70. THIS EMISON PROPOSAL GOT ME CRYING AGAIN 
  71. “You wanna make a baby?” OMG STOP THEY’RE SO CUTE 
  72. SHIRTLESS TOBY MAKING A COMEBACK
  73. FUCK ME UP this is so hot!!!! 
  74. UH SPENCER, weren’t you just with Toby doing the sex? 
  75. Oooh that’s the song that played when Spencer was sitting outside of Toby’s apartment crying her eyes out back in season 3! 
  76. MONA OMG. I do love the parallel to 2x25 though with that slap  
  77. FUCK FUCK FUCK I KNEW IT!!!! TWINCER IS REAL BITCHES!!!! 
  78. Emison is 500% done with Mary’s shit lol 
  79. Ohhhh this is how Wren is connected to this shit show 
  80. ALEX DRAKE 
  81. Of course he ordered a vodka soda  
  82. “It’s a lot to process, would you like a sedative?” YES PLEASE  
  83. Spencer wants to fuck this bitch up so badly lololol 
  84. Oh jesus she’s going to become Spencer? What a twisted sister! 
  85. I KNEW THAT SCENE WITH HANNA AND THE ONE WITH EZRA AT THE AIRPORT WAS OFF. I didn’t catch the one where she was looking through the family album though and GOD DAMN IT THAT WAS HER KISSING TOBY IN 6x20 AND HAVING SEX WITH TOBY IN 7x18 
  86. Like Mother Like Daughter BROOOO 
  87. Damn Alex is just batshit crazy and I’m kinda loving it. 
  88. I do feel bad for her though. 
  89. Woah hold up this bitch had Wren shoot her so she’d look EXACTLY LIKE SPENCER, like down to the scars she has. Damn she’s committed, I’ll give her that. 
  90. SHIT SHE REALLY IS INSANE SHE TURNED WREN INTO A DIAMOND 
  91. Awwww Aria looks so beautiful! GIRL I’M CRYING TOO 
  92.  I’m gonna just pretend like that’s all of our girls taking that selfie 
  93. HOLY SHIT WREN IS THE BABY DADDY 
  94. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR LUNCH MARY 
  95. That’s actually so sad about what Alex’s parents did to her. I get why she’s so angry, she’s had a miserable life. 
  96. Mary really does love Spencer  
  97. OH GOOD SHE REMEMBERS THAT SPENCER CAN PICK LOCKS  
  98. Aria baby noooo don’t cry 
  99. I figured that Alex had Ezra… 
  100. Do-it-yourself dungeon I’M YELLING 
  101. Lol the look on Spencer’s face says “Bitch stop copying me” 
  102. Ezra must feel like a dumb dumb now 
  103. Oh so Alex shot Spencer, intending to kill her and take over her life but Mary saved her. Alright.  
  104. Alright that’s kinda cute how Alex and Charlotte bonded 
  105. Alex, Wren, Charlotte, and Archer were a SQUAD 
  106. Uh Charlotte, the only really terrible one is Peter Hastings! 
  107. No wonder Alex was so pissed when Charlotte was murdered, she was the only real family she had ever known. 
  108. UGH I’m just gonna pretend this is Team Sparia 
  109. Uh-Oh the horse knows it’s not really Spencer 
  110. Of course Jenna could SMELL that Spencer wasn’t really Spencer 
  111. Alright so these dummies have been trying to figure out who A is after all these years and they just immediately get it right now? That was so easy and ironic thing is that they didn’t have Spencer to help them figure it out.  
  112. Mary ships Spoby and I’m living for it 
  113. Damn Alex, psychotic much? 
  114. I always figured it was A.D. who bought Toby’s house 
  115. RUN BITCHES 
  116. Alex with that hatchet is giving me “The Shining” vibes lol 
  117. HOLY SHIT IT’S THE DOLLHOUSE 2.0 
  118. EZRA YOU GOOD THERE HOMEBOY?! 
  119. Oh my god Alex copying Spencer like that gives me the creeps 
  120. TWIN FIGHT 
  121. God dammit WHICH ONE IS SPENCER? 
  122. AWW TOBY YASSS BABY YOU REMEMBER HER FAVORITE POEM 
  123. OH MY GOD THIS WEDDING IS SO CUTE I CAN’T BREATHE 
  124. Look at the babies! 
  125. MARLENE KING OMG she did the Shhh and everything  
  126. My babies happy… I LOVE THIS SONG 
  127. Aww Hanna’s pregnant!!! 
  128. STOP THIS LAST OT5 SCENE IS TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW 
  129. Ok Mona having a doll shop in France is literally the cutest thing ever 
  130. She totally should’ve ended up with Mike though TBH 
  131. BROOO Mona literally won the game I’m so proud of my child 
  132. YOOOO THIS IS SOME SHIT OUT OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE. HAVEN’T YOUNG GIRLS IN ROSEWOOD LEARNED NOT TO HAVE SLEEPOVERS ON STORMY NIGHTS?