my life is covered in cat hair

Between @vintage-jehan‘s writing and @deboracabral‘s drawings it was only a matter of time before I crumbled. Have some jehanparnasse:


“Parnasse?” Jehan asks from their favourite spot on the floor (it’s the only spot where they can lean against the radiator and still reach their boyfriend’s feet when Montparnasse is sitting in his favourite chair).

“Hm?” Montparnasse hums.

“You like cats, right?”

Montparnasse lowers his gaze and looks into Jehan’s face. Their eyes are wide and innocent, but he doesn’t trust it one bit. “No I don’t,” he says. And he doesn’t like cats. He respects them. From a distance.

“…you like cats better than other animals,” Jehan tries again.

“Not true either,” he contradicts. “I like betta fish.”

Jehan waves their hand around vaguely, bracelets tinkling gently. “Fish don’t really count though.”

Montparnasse makes a nondescript sound. There is a short silence in which Jehan plays with the frayed edges of the strategic rips in Montparnasse’s black skinny jeans. And then, just when Montparnasse starts to relax again:

I like cats.”

Montparnasse grimaces. “You like all animals.”

“But especially cats,” Jehan says emphatically.

Montparnasse looks at them and he knows what’s coming and this is so incredibly unfair because he already had a glass of wine and Jehan is wearing one of those flowery crop tops that the weather should already be too cold for and he’s looking at him with those damn big eyes with little specs of light in them…

The lasting silence on Montparnasse’s end is apparently enough encouragement for Jehan. “The couple I’m doing the wedding invitations for have cats,” they say.

You look like a cat, Montparnasse thinks, arching your back against the radiator like that. But he doesn’t say anything. He knows about the wedding invitations, Jehan showed him their practice designs. They are all flowery words and curly calligraphy, Jehan’s speciality.

“They have three cats,” Jehan continues. “Sara had two and Jess had one too, but now Jess has moved in and they don’t get along.”

Montparnasse reaches out to refill his glass. “They’re getting married and they’ve only just moved in together?” he says. “That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“They were long distance for like…years,” Jehan says.

“Still,” Montparnasse insists.

“It’s True Love,” Jehan says decidedly.

Montparnasse opens his mouth.

“Like us,” Jehan smiles.

Montparnasse shuts his mouth.

“But now,” Jehan chatters. “Now Jess has to find a new home for her tomcat, because he just can’t deal with not being the only cat and Parnasse you’d love him.”

“No,” Montparnasse says.

Jehan immediately throws themself forward to hug their boyfriend’s knees and they look up at Montparnasse from behind a scattering of red curls. That’s just cheating on so many levels.

“He’s majestic, Parnasse.”

“No.” He is not falling for this. He is not being tricked into getting a cat.

“My landlady is allergic to cats.”

“No.”

“She is actually,” Jehan points out.

“My answer is no,” Montparnasse grits.

“But you have such a nice big apartment!” Jehan says enthusiastically. “And I’m here so often we would totally be taking care of him together.”

“No.”

“His name is Montague.”

Okay, that is a seriously cool name for a cat, but- “No!”

Jehan pouts. They pout.

“Jehan I am not taking in a cat,” he says, trying to make his voice as stern as possible. “If you think I am going to go through life covered in cat hair-” He huffs indignantly.

“He’s black,” Jehan interrupts.

“What?” Montparnasse blinks.

“Montague,” Jehan clarifies. “He’s black. So you won’t even see it on 99% of your clothes.”

“That’s not how cat hair works,” Montparnasse protests.

“He’d go really well with your décor,” Jehan argues.

Montparnasse grimaces.

“And if he lived here you could totally demand I come over at any time,” Jehan says, batting their eyes.

“I will not be bribed into adopting a cat,” Montparnasse insists.

“But-”

“No!”

“But you don’t understand…” Jehan whines, dragging themself off the floor until they are practically draped across Montparnasse’s lap. “I love him.”

Great, so now the cat is competition.

“Every time I go over there I see him and Jess says no one wants him and I just… You could just come with me once? To meet him. To see if you like him? Please?”

Montparnasse’s face is positively contorted. There is no way. No way in hell. Under no circumstance will he- “I’ll go with you to meet the stupid cat,” he grunts.

Jehan wriggles so violently with happiness Montparnasse has to grab them so they don’t fall off his lap and onto the floor.


Part two on AO3 because I have no self control.

Okay DREAM STORY TIME!!! I had one of those dreams where your subconscious goes full cinematic on you and gives your dream like a plot and a soundtrack.


So I’m getting married to the princess of this race of aliens (that look like a cross between the blue cat people from Avatar and Soratami). It’s this big, political marriage, and me in the dream is having Doubts because I never met my soon-to-be wife (I was a girl in the dream too, by the way) and was afraid I’d disappoint her because I was a common person whose friends had to sneak into the back because they weren’t famous or important enough to be invited.


(At one point Kim Kardashian shows up??? On this giant float shaped like a snail???? And everyone freaks out and flocks to her and she tries to make the event all about her even though it’s my wedding??????????)


Anyway, my bride-to-be arrives and I am justifiably freaking out. Her handmaidens get to me first and offer me this gold thread as a wedding present. It was supposed to resemble something used in a children’s game on their home planet and me receiving it meant to represent togetherness or something?????? It was a long explanation and dream self was only half paying attention because there was my beautiful alien wife??????


She’s wearing these tradition clothes that cover her face and eyes and she sort of passes me by (I was a considerable distance from the alter for some reason) and ignores me when I try to offer her my wedding gift to her (which was a bell????? Idk???????) But she keeps on blowing me off like “let’s just get this over with” and me being kind of miffed my bride was giving me the cold shoulder is like “wait, hold on!” And I grab her by the shoulder.


Cue beautiful orchestral background music accompanied by what I assumed were vocals sung in my bride’s home-language. And the shawl covering her face falls off and it’s revealed she has cut her hair (which, like the rest of her race had been long and white) and dyed it black.


And it’s at this point where we both notice: we’ve done this before in a different life as different people and we loved each other before and that’s why we both felt so odd that day. And I hold her in my arms all romantic like and say “I feel like I"be known you all my life…”


And then….. My piece of shit cat woke me up. Which asadagavsjmbrshsaaaaAaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i try to think about my favorite thing about kate and like???? i cant?? shes so precious???? in any interview that she has something to drink, she has it in her hand almost the entire time. her legs and her hands and her voice. she wears black dresses almost all the time. she described herself as “covered in cat hair” and “soft.” she refers to her cat as her son. her biggest fear is being convicted of a crime in a foreign country. shes a science nerd. her hair always looks amazing whether its down and wavy or in her holtzmann updo or her haircut from 2008. she makes gay jokes. she plays gay characters. shes representing us and i love her.

I don’t know if I got my cat or my cat got me

This cutie came in through my bedroom window and refused to leave. He has no microchip and was COVERED in fleas when he arrived but @repulse-bay and I have been taking care of him and washing him and he’s getting so much better!! He’s super duper friendly (though still getting used to the other two cats here) and so pretty that the entire household thought he was a girl at first.

I’ve yet to name him though cause I’m so indecisive so anyone with recommendations send them or put them in the tags pleaseeee?


On the subject of shaving though– you know how the razor commercials use models that already have the most hairless legs in the fucking world? And how there’s been posts about letting us see how the razors work on people who actually need to shave their legs, and that’s all well and good, but like I have a secondary proposal.

Use leg models with Hirsutism to not only give these people some work, but also because we don’t really get a fair idea on how razors are going to work for us until we spend a lot of money on them. 
As someone with PCOS and resulting Hirsutism, do you know how many razors i go through just keeping my face not covered in stubble every other day? Even with medication, I know I and a few others with similar patterns had to go through literally dozens of brands of razors before they found heavy duty razors that did something. 
Why does this help the common person that is shopping for a razor? Well, if a blade can cut through facial hair an not leave us looking like we lost a fight with a very agressive cat so we can get on with life– or make it so we can control our body hair so our skin doesn’t break out or cause us pain– then the average healthy person is probably going to enjoy a pretty damn smooth close shave.

Idk, just a thought. I am on a mood.

Survey #134 : Bold What's True

You are English. 
You want to visit New Zealand. 
You can’t sit down on the grass without making a daisy chain. 
You play guitar. 
Your parents are still together. 

You have been heartbroken before. 
You can speak more than one language. 
You’ve been called weird before. 
You somehow always end up wearing odd socks. 
You’re a champion procrastinator. 
You hated science. 
You frequently stare into space without realising. 
You hardly ever cry. 
You’re shy. 
Your shyness holds you back sometimes. 
You’re a Christian. 
You’re scared of the unknown. 
You have a myspace but hardly ever use it. 
You write music. 
You can’t dance to save your life. 
You love summer dresses. 
Your birthday is in mid August. 
You blog frequently. 
You love wearing band t-shirts with converses. 
You usually don’t use your free time very productively. 
You’re good at spelling. 
You’re bad at mental maths. 
You hate horror movies. 
You wear eyeliner pretty much everyday without fail. 
You don’t do enough exercise. 
You still enjoy playing Sims computer games. 
You love catching trains. 
You want to visit Italy. 
You used to have braces. 
You refuse to smoke. 
You always have a constant supply of ibuprofen in case you get headaches. 
You used to get nosebleeds all the time. 
You’re a night owl. 
You’re at your worst in the morning. 
You love The Little Mermaid. 
You should be doing homework right now.
You are 15 years old. 
You don’t really like to watch TV. 
You aren’t fat, but you want to weigh less. 
You are self conscious. 
You have trust issues. 
You are close with your mother. 
You would sleep in everyday if you could. 
You buy way too many clothes. 
You’re a facebook addict. 
You have been best friends with your best friend forever. 
You aren’t very athletic. 
You like high school football. 
You can sing alright. 
Hello Kitty=love :) 
You’re normally pretty happy. 
You cry easily. 
You get mad easily. 
You always have head aches. 
You love electric blankets. 
Forever 21 is your favorite store. 
You hate spending money, but you always want to buy things. 
You hate living in the country. 
You get your feelings hurt very easily. 
Christmas is your favorite holiday. 
Rap and country are your genre of music. 
Your butt is really big. 
You have super curly hair. 
You hate pizza. 
You were born in Pittsburgh. 
You have 1 little sister. 
You love fashion. 
Glitter is your favorite. 
Your nails are always painted. 
You’re normally pretty quiet. 
You hate opening up to people. 
You aren’t really a fan of girls. 
You enjoy taking walks. 
You love to be tan. 
You wish you could live at the beach. 
You can’t cook at all. 
You aren’t a very good swimmer. 
You have a pink laptop. 
You wish you could be a model. 
You kind of have a jealousy issue. 
You have chosen some pretty bad friends in the past. 
You love wearing dresses.
You hate hate hate getting your hopes up and then it doesn’t happen.
You’re pretty much scared of everything. 
You love to cuddle. 
You’re not very good at school. 
You love roller coasters. 
You’re not really an animal person.
Jesus is my saviour. 
I am Canadian. 
I am finished high school. 
I play guitar. 
I write my own songs. 
I love watching YouTube videos. 
I work in a coffee shop. 
My best friends are my cousins. 
I have two brothers. 
I have one sister. 
I love wearing quirky t-shirts. 
I have two cats. 
I have a dog. 
I collect beanie babies. 
My favourite color is blue. 
My favourite number is somewhere between 15 and 20. 
I think too much. 
I have seen everything that has ever been posted on FailBlog. 
My room is covered in random posters and memories. 
I have curly hair. 
My favorite letters are L and Q. 
My favorite animal is the chipmunk. 
Music is incredibly important to me. 
I don’t know what to do with my life. 
I wish I could play the piano. 
Chocolate is amazing. 
I could eat pizza every day and not get sick of it. 
I can see beauty in everything, even if the world thinks it’s ugly. 
I have an average body. 
I generally like how I look. 
I have never tried drugs. 
I have never been drunk. 
I love indie music. 
I am very artistic. 
I love video games. 
I love Converse hi-tops. 
I still play Neopets on occassion… 
My name starts with a K. 
I like my middle name. 
One of my best friends is of the opposite gender. 
I am a virgin..and proud of it. 
I love reading. 
I hate peas. 
I have at least 10 collections of random things. 
I hate shopping for clothes. 
I love watching movies, especially comedies. 
I don’t own a cell phone. 
One of my favorite bands is one that few people have heard of. 
I don’t like salad. 
It takes me less than a half an hour to get ready in the mornings. 
I have blue eyes. 
I live in a small town. 
I have been in several bands. 
I am a master procrastinator. 
I always fall for someone that can make me laugh. 
I get along well with my parents.

Storytime: okay, so I was gone last Saturday to go to a family/mingle party with like 60+ people. Due to my lack of interest in forming any romantic relations with people, my parents are constantly trying to set me up with a nigga . So my dad’s friend has a son , let’s name him douchecanoe because he is one , he’s half Japanese and half black, mixed baby. Now, I ain’t interested in him because he isn’t my type and given what he does, I ain’t about that life. So this nigga basically stalked me throughout the whole party and his first encounter with me was him taking Cat hair off my black Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 shirt and he’s like, “damn your ass is covered in hair,” and I’m trying to be a polite ass ho, “I have cats and a huge dog with long hair, so…” Then he made some stupid ass comment about me wrestling with Gracie which is my Aunt’s dog ( she’s the hostess). So, I quickly got away from him

Keep reading

Survey #115 : Bold What's True

You are English. 
You want to visit New Zealand. 
You can’t sit down on the grass without making a daisy chain. 
You play guitar. 
Your parents are still together. 
You have been heartbroken before. 
You can speak more than one language. 
You’ve been called weird before. 
You somehow always end up wearing odd socks. 
You’re a champion procrastinator. 
You hated science. 
You frequently stare into space without realizing. 
You hardly ever cry. 
You’re shy. 
Your shyness holds you back sometimes. 
You’re a Christian. 
You’re scared of the unknown. 
You have a myspace but hardly ever use it. 
You write music. 
You can’t dance to save your life. 
You love summer dresses. 
Your birthday is in mid August. 
You blog frequently. 
You love wearing band t-shirts with converses. 
You usually don’t use your free time very productively. 
You’re good at spelling. 
You’re bad at mental maths. 
You hate horror movies. 
You wear eyeliner pretty much everyday without fail. 
You don’t do enough exercise. 
You still enjoy playing Sims computer games. 
You love catching trains. 
You want to visit Italy. 
You used to have braces. 
You refuse to smoke. 
You always have a constant supply of paracetamol in case you get headaches. 
You used to get nosebleeds all the time. 
You’re a night owl. 
You’re at your worst in the morning. 
You love The Little Mermaid. 
You should be doing homework right now.
You are 15 years old. 
You don’t really like to watch TV. 
You aren’t fat, but you want to weigh less. 
You are self-conscious. 
You have trust issues. 
You are close with your mother. 
You would sleep in everyday if you could. 
You buy way too many clothes. 
You’re a Facebook addict. 
You have been best friends with your best friend forever. 
You aren’t very athletic. 
You like high school football. 
You can sing alright. 
Hello Kitty = love :) 
You’re normally pretty happy. 
You cry easily. 
You get mad easily. 
You always have head aches. 
You love electric blankets. 
Forever 21 is your favorite store. 
You hate spending money, but you always want to buy things. 
You hate living in the country. 
You get your feelings hurt very easily. 
Christmas is your favorite holiday. 
Rap and country are your genre of music. 
Your butt is really big. 
You have super curly hair. 
You hate pizza. 
You were born in Pittsburgh. 
You have 1 little sister. 
You love fashion. 
Glitter is your favorite. 
Your nails are always painted. 
You’re normally pretty quiet. 
You hate opening up to people. 
You aren’t really a fan of girls. 
You enjoy taking walks. 
You love to be tan. 
You wish you could live at the beach. 
You can’t cook at all. 
You aren’t a very good swimmer. 
You have a pink laptop. 
You wish you could be a model. 
You kind of have a jealousy issue. 
You have chosen some pretty bad friends in the past. 
You love wearing dresses.
You hate hate hate getting your hopes up and then it doesn’t happen. 
You’re pretty much scared of everything. 
You love to cuddle. 
You’re not very good at school. 
You love roller coasters. 
You’re not really an animal person.
Jesus is my savior. 
I am Canadian. 
I am finished high school. 
I play guitar. 
I write my own songs. 
I love watching YouTube videos. 
I work in a coffee shop. 
My best friends are my cousins. 
I have two brothers. 
I have one sister. 
I love wearing quirky t-shirts. 
I have two cats. 
I have a dog. 
I collect beanie babies. 
My favorite color is blue. 
My favorite number is somewhere between 15 and 20. 
I think too much. 
I have seen everything that has ever been posted on FailBlog. 
My room is covered in random posters and memories. 
I have curly hair. 
My favorite letters are L and Q. 
My favorite animal is the chipmunk. 
Music is incredibly important to me. 
I don’t know what to do with my life. 
I wish I could play the piano. 
Chocolate is amazing. 
I could eat pizza every day and not get sick of it. 
I can see beauty in everything, even if the world thinks it’s ugly. 
I have an average body. 
I generally like how I look. 
I have never tried drugs. 
I have never been drunk. 
I love indie music. 
I am very artistic. 
I love video games. 
I love Converse hi-tops. 
My name starts with a K. 
I like my middle name. 
One of my best friends is of the opposite gender. 
I am a virgin..and proud of it. 
I love reading. 
I hate peas. 
I have at least 10 collections of random things. 
I hate shopping for clothes. 
I love watching movies, especially comedies. 
I don’t own a cell phone. 
One of my favorite bands is one that few people have heard of. 
I don’t like salad. 
It takes me less than a half an hour to get ready in the mornings. 
I have blue eyes. 
I live in a small town. 
I have been in several bands. 
I am a master procrastinator. 
I always fall for someone that can make me laugh. 
I get along well with my parents.

You are English.
You want to visit New Zealand.
You can’t sit down on the grass without making a daisy chain.
You play guitar.
Your parents are still together.
You have been heartbroken before.
You can speak more than one language.
You’ve been called weird before.
You somehow always end up wearing odd socks.
You’re a champion procrastinator. :)
You hated science.
You frequently stare into space without realising.
You hardly ever cry.
You’re shy.
Your shyness holds you back sometimes.
You’re a Christian.
You’re scared of the unknown.
You have a myspace but hardly ever use it.
You write music.
You can’t dance to save your life.
You love summer dresses.
Your birthday is in mid August.
You blog frequently.
You love wearing band t-shirts with converses.
You usually don’t use your free time very productively.
You’re good at spelling.
You’re bad at mental maths.
You hate horror movies.
You wear eyeliner pretty much everyday without fail.
You don’t do enough exercise.
You still enjoy playing Sims computer games.
You love catching trains.
You want to visit Italy.
You used to have braces.
You refuse to smoke.
You always have a constant supply of paracetamol in case you get headaches.
You used to get nosebleeds all the time.
You’re a night owl.
You’re at your worst in the morning.
You love The Little Mermaid.
You should be doing homework right now.
You are 15 years old.
You don’t really like to watch TV.
You aren’t fat, but you want to weigh less.
You are self consious.
You have trust issues.
You are close with your mother.
You would sleep in everyday if you could.
You buy way to many clothes.
Your a facebook addict.
You have been best friends with your best friend forever.
You aren’t very athletic.
You like high school football.
You can sing alright.
Hello Kitty=love :)
You’re normally pretty happy.
You cry easily.
You get mad easily.
You always have head aches.
You love electric blankets.
Forever 21 is your favorite store.
You hate spending money, but you always want to buy things.
You hate living in the country.
You get your feelings hurt very easily.
Christmas is your favorite holiday.
Rap and country are your genre of music.
Your butt is really big.
You have super curly hair.
You hate pizza.
You were born in Pittsburgh.
You have 1 little sister.
You love fashion.
Glitter is your favorite.
Your nails are always painted.
Your normally pretty quiet.
You hate opening up to people.
You aren’t really a fan of girls.
You enjoy taking walks.
You love to be tan.
You wish you could live at the beach.
You can’t cook at all.
You aren’t a very good swimmer.
You have a pink laptop.
You wish you could be a model.
You kind of have a jealousy issue.
You have chosen some pretty bad friends in the past.
You love wearing dresses.
You hate hate hate getting your hopes up and then it doesn’t happen.
Your pretty much scared of everything.
You love to cuddle.
Your not very good at school.
You love roller coasters.
Your not really an animal person.
Jesus is my saviour.
I am Canadian.
I am finished high school.
I play guitar.
I write my own songs.
I love watching YouTube videos.
I work in a coffee shop.
My best friends are my cousins.
I have two brothers.
I have one sister.
I love wearing quirky t-shirts.
I have two cats.
I have a dog.
I collect beanie babies.
My favourite colour is blue.
My favourite number is somewhere between 15 and 20.
I think too much.
I have seen everything that has ever been posted on FailBlog.
My room is covered in random posters and memories.
I have curly hair.
My favourite letters are L and Q.
My favourite animal is the chipmunk.
Music is incredibly important to me.
I don’t know what to do with my life.
I wish I could play the piano.
Chocolate is amazing.
I could eat pizza every day and not get sick of it.
I can see beauty in everything, even if the world thinks it’s ugly.
I have an average body.
I generally like how I look.
I have never tried drugs.
I have never been drunk.
I love indie music.
I am very artistic.
I love video games.
I love Converse hi-tops.
I still play Neopets on occassion…
My name starts with a K.
I like my middle name.
One of my best friends is of the opposite gender.
I am a virgin..and proud of it.
I love reading.
I hate peas.
I have at least 10 collections of random things.
I hate shopping for clothes.
I love watching movies, especially comedies.
I don’t own a cell phone.
One of my favourite bands is one that few people have heard of.
I don’t like salad.
It takes me less than a half an hour to get ready in the mornings.
I have blue eyes.
I live in a small town.
I have been in several bands.
I am a master procrastinator.
I always fall for someone that can make me laugh.
I get along well with my parents.

4

Lumberjanes #15 comes out 6/17! This adorable cover was drawn by our amazing Brooke and I did the colors!  I wanted to (finally) share a secret about it!

Three kittens in this cover are actually based on real life cats! Two are owned by Boom! Studio’s staff members (the silver in Jen’s hair, and the orange pawing Jo’s face), and the third (the silver on top of Molly), is my kitten Cleo! 

=^_^= 

queensofmedicine  asked:

fitzsimmons + author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au?

What Should Not Be Forgotten | Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons | G | 1,700 words

Sometimes Jemma’s favorite part of going to book signings was when the publisher would spring for first class. She wondered if that made her a bad person—it wasn’t that she didn’t like meeting lots of people that liked her book (it was quite flattering, really), but she never had time to really meet them. She never got to talk to anyone or do anything other than sign a few copies and thank them for being fans. It made her miss the intimacies of the first few readings and conventions, except that back then they made her fly coach.

A young man took the aisle seat next to her when they made a quick stop in Philadelphia. She might not have paid him any mind at all except for the unmistakable Scottish accent when he pardoned himself for bumping into her leg upon sitting down, shuffling a large leather briefcase under the seat in front of him. He was rather handsome, she mused, trying to study his face without seeming like she was doing so. He was put together in a way that wasn’t traditional or generic, but still came across as incredibly pleasing.

Maybe it was his eyes, which seemed to mimic the color of the sky outside the plane as he settled in with a book. She was so taken with them that it took her a minute to realize that it was her book. Pride inflated her chest and she hid her smile behind her complimentary glass of champagne. He seemed to be far enough into the novel that it wasn’t just something that he picked up at the airport, and despite the TARDIS bookmark that hung out of the pages, there were some dog-eared corners that he’d marked.

[Read more below or on AO3]

Keep reading

4

See that up there? Let me tell you a few things about it:

1. It is the Awsome Mystery Thing I mentioned here, and as you can see it didn’t turn into 2016’s Most Hilarious Crafting Failure. It actually turned out pretty much exactly the way I imagined it, so much so that part of me believes I’ve used up all my crafting good luck for the year on this one thing.

2. Even if I have, it’ll be totally worth it, because this is probably one of the most awesome things I’ve ever made and I’m so ridiculously happy with it it’s hard to find the words. I want to look at it and pet it and smoosh my face in it forever.

3. However, after gracing my life with its awesomeness for 48 glorious hours, it has left my house for good.

4. This hurts me.

5. It has gone to live with @painterofhorizons, who received it as her just punishment for being unreasonably and excessively nice to me. I hope she learned her lesson.

6. Everyone else, heed the warning: do not become friends with me, or you might be accosted by nerdy crafting.

7. Even though no part of this thing was ever in the same room as any of my cats, by the time I wrapped it up for shipping it was covered in enough cat hair to knit a medium-sized kitten.

8. Giving up the package at the Packstation has seriously tested my commitment to being a good and generous human being. I passed, though.

9. Barely.

10. I’m consoling myself with the fact that it now lives with a person who very much deserves to have awesome things in her life, and she seems to like it, too, so that makes everything better.

11. I’m sort of thinking of making one for myself, too. Unfortunately it’s pretty low on the priority list, so it’ll be a while before I can get around to it.

12. #11 was a lie. I’ve already cut the fabric.

“Oops, wrong apartment..” A Gajevy AU

A.N.: So this was a prompt I found on a prompt list that I really wanted to write! The prompt is: “WTF you’re not my roommate, how did you get in here? Oh shit you’re really drunk and NOW YOU’RE CRYING okay okay it’s okay shhhh, you can stay here i guess??” This is set like in today’s time, and they are all of drinking age of course! I hope you like! I kind of wrote it when I was going to sleep, so I’m sorry if my writing isn’t any good!


Gajeel sure was enjoying having the apartment to himself (well almost himself except for his cat Lily). His roommate had said something about taking a girl out and was trying to get him to come along for a double date, but there was no way in hell he was going to be hitched to some girl. He was enjoying the single life too much.

He took off his shirt, with just his boxers on, and set to doing his usual workout routine, turning his music on full blast. Luckily he didn’t have his annoying hothead of a roommate, Natsu, interrupting him. After doing his regular for an hour long exercise routine, he cooked himself a plate of food and settled down on the couch with Lily next to him, checking the channels to see what’s on, Cops caught his eye. He always loved when they caught the bad guys! He settled comfortably into the couch, sipping his beer, watching the show, stroking Lily, when about 30 min later he was out.


Levy had no idea how she got there standing in front of the door to her apartment, all she knew was she just wanted to curl up and bed and drown out this headache. From what she vaguely remembered, she went out with Lucy and her boyfriend, expecting it to be a double date, to find out Natsu couldn’t get his roommate to come along. She was pissed after that, she dressed extra nice to impress just to be stood up. She started downing alcoholic beverage after beverage. Even Lucy tried to get her to stop, but Levy just kept at it. When it was time to go, Levy vaguely remembered falling as they walked to the car, scraping her knees and hands, but not feeling it. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like garbage, she knew it. She curled in the backseat regretting her life choices at that moment while Natsu drove them back.

She didn’t remember the car ride at all, she just remembered Natsu saying gibberish and some number. She knew her apartment was on the second floor, she managed to stumble up the stairs and was at the door. She was trying to unlock it but the key wouldn’t work. Fuck! This was not her night. She twisted the handle and the door creaked open. Lucy left it unlocked, thank god!

As she stepped in, she tried to reach for the light with no luck. Dang, she realized then she really must be wasted. She stumbled along the hallway, when all of a sudden she felt something soft under feet and a load “MEEOWWWW!” of pain. “Fuck!!!” They didn’t have a cat, where did it come from? She heard a load deep male voice “WHO’S THERE?!” coming from the other room. Her eyes went wide. This wasn’t her and Lucy’s apartment? Shit!! She needed to sober up and fast!


Gajeel was having a wonderful dream of being a cop and catching all the criminals when he heard his cat screech from the hallway and female voice yell out a curse.

“WHO’S THERE?!” he blared out. He was met with silence. He got up quickly, forgetting that he had no shirt on, and was going to apprehend whoever was trying to come in and steal his stuff. When he was there, he was not expecting what he saw. A woman with a bright blue mop of hair half his size, scratch that, less than half his size. She looked worse for wear, but he didn’t miss how the dress she had on made him do a double take. Her eyes went wide at the sight of him, and he realized then, that he didn’t have a shirt on. Well, it wasn’t like he was supposed to have visitors. His eyes narrowed though, it could all be rouse, trust no one.

“Who are you, and what are you doing in MY apartment?” He said walking closer to her. She backed up, fear evident in her eyes. “I- I- I’m sorry, wrong apartment,” she managed to slur out as she kept backing up towards the door. He could hear her slurring and could smell the alcohol from a mile away.

As she backed up, she managed to trip on his cat (again) and was falling before he moved quickly to catch her. He grabbed her waist and caught her from falling down. It took her a second for her to realize their close proximity and before he knew it she was pushing him away, clawing like a she cat, “No! Get away!!”

He let her go, and watched as she fell on her butt, her back against the wall. “Damn it woman! I was trying to prevent you from falling and getting hurt and this is the thanks I get?” he yelled at her, the scratches on his chest and arms hurting like hell. He glanced down at the scratches he gave him, damn it all to hell. As he glanced back up, he saw her in the corner in a little ball, knees to her face, crying.. fuck.. He didn’t deal with women crying. He didn’t deal with women in general.. He breathed in and out.

He squatted on his knees inches away from her. He stared at her and realized how small she looked in her ball crying. He hadn’t noticed he had had patted her head until he heard her squeak and stiffen, and could feel her soft light baby blue locks against his fingers. He pulled his hand back quickly while she ventured to look up at him, tears still rolling down her face.

“Look, I’m sorry I scared ya,” he said, his hand running this hair. “I just thought you were a burglar or something. Look, it’s really late and you really shouldn’t be out there in your condition. Um.. You can stay in my room for the night.”

Her face flushed bright red, glancing down at his torso. He realized what that could be implying, especially in his state of dress. “I mean not in with me! I can sleep on the couch!”

“Howw can I trusst you won’t try anyything?” she managed to slur out.

Even in her drunk state, he gave her props for still thinking logically. “Believe me or not, I don’t take women by force. Not only that, Lily would kill me if I tried.”

“Lilyy?”

On que his cat came meowing running his head against her leg.

He pointed to his black cat while she petted him, “Lily.”

Her eyes narrowed at him again, “How can ‘Lily’ kill you?”

“Trust me, he keeps in me in place. I’ve had too many scratches from that damned cat whenever I’ve fucked up..” he said narrowing his eyes at his cat.

She giggled in response, and it sounded so nice and she looked so pretty with that smile on her face. He couldn’t stop the smile from his face in response.

He glanced to her side finding her purse and keys. Wait a minute, those keys looked familiar, especially with that fire breathing dragon keychain. He leaned close to her to grab the keys from where they fell on the floor. “Hey, wh-what are you doing?”

“Calm down,” he said as he pulled back. He examined them.. that fire brain of a roommate’s keys. “Well, that explains it.”

“Explainss what?”

He glanced at her, and her eyes were getting droopy, like she could pass out on the floor if she wanted to. Shit..

“Wait here shorty!” he said as he got up, walking to his room.

“My name’ss nott shortyy! It’s Levvyyy!” she managed to drawl out at his retreating form.

“Gihihi,” he said in response.

As he got to his room, he tried to tidy up a little bit and grabbed a shirt to put over his head. He was gone no more than a couple of minutes, but by the time he came back out, the blue haired pixy was passed out on his floor. Dammit!

He shook her to wake up, “Hey! Wake up, shortstack!” She just mumbled in response, her head falling forward. He grumbled.

He picked her up, her shoulders in one hand and her legs in the other. She was so light, and for some reason it felt so right to hold her like that. He set her down in his bed, and pulled the covers up to her chin. He glanced at her face, reached out and moved some hair from her face. His hands have a life of their own tonight. He needed to get out of here and fast. His cat went and snuggled up to her side.

“Damn Lily, thanks for rubbing it in my face,” he said glaring at his cat.

His cat meowed innocently at him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going..”

As he lay on his couch, trying to get some shut eye, he couldn’t stop thinking about that blue haired woman sleeping in his bed. “Dammit!” He yelled out! He racked his arm over his eyes. He is going to kill Natsu when he gets back. He looked forward to seeing her dazed face in the morning. “Gihihihi.” He chuckled as his thoughts were filled with a sleeping shrimp with blue hair.