my life is a true story

anonymous asked:

Do u have any advice for someone who is being bullied? It's happening to me rn and I don't know what to do, I'm terrified that if I tell someone that it'll make the problem worse. Any advice? P.s ❤ your blog x

yeah of course! let me tell you a story that happened to me when i was in 8th grade, and hopefully by the end of the story, you learn something 

background: i was born and raised in jakarta, indonesia, and i went to an all girls catholic school almost all my life.

so you guessed it, drama was EVERYWHERE. in 8th grade, someone i thought was a friend of mine started backmouthing me because she thought i wasn’t a good friend, just because i’d “leave” her while i was making friends with other girls. so she and a few other girls started rumors about me that weren’t true, and in just a matter of 1-2 weeks, the whole grade (so about ~140 girls) hated my gut. only 2-3 girls wanted to be friends with me. and the way that schools work in indonesia is that all the classmates you start the year with, are the ones you end the year with. around the same time it happened, my grandfather passed away, so the 2 events really took a toll on me. i was depressed, would miss school, and lock myself in my room most days. my parents were very concerned that they took me to see a psychiatrist, and i did. it helped so much because i felt like someone was actually listening to me (which is why i decided to major in psychology in college). 

anyway, the school year finally ended and i was relieved, hoping that i wouldn’t be put in the same class with them in 9th grade. but lady fortune didn’t like me too much, you guessed it again, they were in my class again. i was so devastated and my mom told me to try speaking with the headmaster, who happened to be a nun (her name was sister Alexis). my mom and i went to see her one day, and i told her everything that happened to me in 8th grade and asked her if i could move class. sister Alexis was the strictest nuns at school and i was honestly not expecting her to say yes. but then she told me something that changed my life, for the better. 

she said, “tiffany, in life you will face many difficulties, and you will meet people who dislike you and would do anything to bring you down. life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. they (those girls) already know that you’re in the same class with them, and once they find out you move class just because of them, do you want them to think you’re a coward? that you’re running away from them? won’t that make you look even weaker? but it’s all up to you, if you really want to move class, i won’t say no” 

then it just clicked in my head. did i want to run away from them? did i want to give them the opportunity to think that i was weak and afraid of them? so i refused her offer to move me to another class. i stayed in my class and started fresh. if i moved to another class, i would’ve probably never had the 2 best friends i have up until today. 

hope this somehow helps you and somehow gives you inspiration!!!! 

leviathan-of-the-puddle  asked:

tell either a life story or a made up story, then ill guess whether it was true or not

Ok once upon a time long ago I did dance and for our recital we had our hair all slicked back in a ponytail (I was like 6 I think) and my hair was all done and a piece fell out of it. So instead of asking my mom to redo it, I cut it. Right on the front of my head. So for like a year I had one really short bang

A True Story

Lou, I wanted to post this here, because your blog is the first place i felt comfortable sharing my thoughts. It is a safe place for me, because it feels like home, and I am sorely in need of one. So thank you.

Maybe if I write about how I was given the kind of love a person is transpired by, I can try to make sense of what I’m feeling. I know that only a short time has passed since that love has left me, but all thorough my life, from the devastation that was my childhood, to the burning wreckage of drug use and self-loathing, to drifting through my life without direction or purpose, and then to the salvation I was given when I met my wife—maybe I will find some clarity and the spirit of survival.

I met Sue at work. I was 28 and she was 25. I had just moved down to the lower 48 from Alaska. I had just gotten off the drugs and booze, had about a year of sobriety and was trying to clear away the wreckage from the burning bridges I left behind. I got a job as a forklift driver at a seafood processing plant. Sue had already been working there for a year or so. She was a line worker, packing portioned cuts of fish into a vacuum-pack machine and then putting those portions into freezer boxes. I would pick those boxes up with my forklift and store them in the huge plant freezer. Hell, I was happy to just have a job, being newly replanted in a city I had never been to.

But there is another story about Sue that haunts me now. After we got together, after we began to share with each other who we were and where we came from, we found out that we had already, and unknowingly shared the path of our individual orbits.

In 1979, I had been living in Sacramento, California. I found my first love there, with a woman named Kat. It was my first love, at the tender age of 19. Kat was the first woman I had lived with, in a tiny apartment in North Sacramento. Anyway, she was not the one. I didn’t know that then. I thought she was. I did not know what love truly was yet, and I think I was dancing around the edges of it during the year or so I was with Kat. I think it was because we were so young and inexperienced, that our relationship did not work.

We broke up and I left Sacramento, taking my shattered heart south, to Escondido, in Southern California. My oldest sister, Terri was living there with her boyfriend, and it was a kind of staging place where I went to lick my wounds and try to figure out what was next for me. Anyway, Terri put me up and I ended up getting a job at a local Denny’s as a night cook.

Do any of you believe in destiny? Back then, I wasn’t a believer in chance or synchronicity. I went to work every night, flipping burgers and making fries and trying to move on after the sting of that first love I mentioned. It was a confusing time for me, but I was a survivor and I would make do.

Ten years later, I met Sue. Before that life changing meeting, I was a commercial fisherman during most of my twenties, and the money was good. In fact, it was so good; I was able to do a lot of traveling. Rio and Carnival in Brazil, Europe, island hopping in the Caribbean, Japan, Australia—I put in some miles. It was a good time for me, it was a self-discovery journey, a tempering and healing journey.

Anyway, one night early in our relationship, we were pillow-talking, still getting to know each other and sharing some of our pasts with each other. Sue mentioned that she grew up in Rancho Bernardo, a suburb north of San Diego. And then she told me that after high school, she moved to…Escondido, in 1979. She told me that her and some friends used to go to this Denny’s and drink coffee and eat French fries. My French fries. Sue came into Denny’s when I was working there.  We might have even noticed each other, but no contact was made until ten years later, as I said, when we met at that seafood processing plant.

As we were lying in bed, and when she told me this little tale, I started to become a believer in Fate. We synced up our stories, and we knew that we were meant to meet and share the rest of lives together. I married her a year later.

When you know you are meant to be with someone, all the pieces of your life fall into place, and since then, neither one of us were ever alone again. Until now. I feel a loneliness that I didn’t think I would ever feel again after I met Sue.

I am going to try and sleep. It’s been over 48 hours since I’ve had any. Perhaps I will pick this up later. There is a whole lifetime behind me that I want to relive, but I’m not too far gone to realize that I will not purge myself of the pain and loss I feeling right now overnight.

I do want to thank everybody who has reached out to me. And because I try to be an honest person, that support, right now, is just another shadow in my mind. My heart is broken and it feels like it will never mend. But talking about my life with Sue helps me.

Reply: 

Thank you for sharing your love story, Gene. You and Sue really were fated from the beginning, weren’t you? It really makes you realise that you were in a love story before you’d even met Sue. And you’re still in that love story now that she has gone on ahead. This is such a beautiful and amazing story. I think you should turn yours and Sue’s life together into a book. You’re a writer and maybe documenting your lives together will be a form of solace and homage to all that you were and still are to each other. 

I also think finding a way to rest is also something you need to focus on right now. Take your two little doggies and cuddle up with them and close your eyes. Listen to your music and just try and find some rest. I know that feels impossible right now, and that your life is just filled with impossible things, but you need to just stop and close your eyes. 

You and all of yours and Sue’s family are in my thoughts and prayers. 

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
story time: presidential edition
  • so you know how everyone has a story
  • you know
  • like the story
  • like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
  • and you know exactly what they mean
  • the story
  • well 
  • i have a story
  • and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
  • barack obama
  • pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
  • and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life

Keep reading

Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.