my life is a beautiful mess


I’m genuinely crying right now, but shout out to @canadiangold for sending me the best care package I’ve ever received in my entire life. The ribbon says “hang in there you beautiful bean” and I just honestly cannot wrap my brain around what an amazingly compassionate and kind friend I have.
I’m so overwhelmed with my life right now and this is really just… I’m such a mess of emotions right now. Thank you so much Alex, you are such a lovely human being and I’m so amazed that you exist and that you care about me.

I think lately I’ve learned what maturity is.
Maturity isn’t about being a “lady” in your actions, nor having a good language or being qualified enough to deal with people, no.
Maturity is when you reach to the point where you ask yourself; “who am I and who I want to be?” When you start to realize that your existence was meant to be for a reason, that you have something specialized only for you to do. And most importantly, it’s when you start searching for the answers.
Maturity is when your realize that your happiness comes first, no matter how much things and people you have to cut off. It’s when you realize that your smiles and laughs must be there on your face before your tears.
When you learn that loving someone isn’t enough to stop them from hurting you and it’s never your fault, knowing when to let go before it’s too tight that it could suffocate you.
Maturity is when you become your own best friend, your own priority.
It’s when you know what is and who is good for you and to protect them, protect the people you love.
Maturity is when you know that you and only you can achieve what you want and to protect who you really are and no one is going to do that for you.
Maturity is stepping out of your comfort zone.
Maturity is embracing your faults and working around them.
Maturity is marking your thoughts in big words and bright colors.
Maturity is knowing that your dreams are worth the stars.
—  Know your worth.| Infinite excerpts. -JH

A week in the life: Robert Sugden
January 2, 2017 to January 6, 2017

Confessions to the signs (Scorpio personal experience)

Aries: I find it beautiful when you mess around in a care free way, teasing loved ones with a light in your eyes.

Taurus: If we live together whilst an apocalypse is happening i swear i cant stand you, your constant moaning and negativity will get us killed, literally. 

Gemini: Sometimes i cant stand your inconsistency and the amount of times you run away yet you seem to run away. But i know you’ll always be back and i love you dearly. 

Cancer: Your so cute when messing around with me and i swear we can play fight and it makes my day just to be children again. I miss you. 

Leo: You can be super annoying, arrogant, stupid, but i love you cause i know i will never find anyone who cares as much as you.

Virgo: I cant get over you, you don’t say whats on your heart and mind but your eyes say it all. And oh god, i could look into those eyes for ages standing this close.

Libra: I can’t believe you got away with lying to me, i loved you and cared about you and all you did was hurt me more than anyone has. I’ve never questioned my life as much as i did after you hurt me, you deserve a round of applause for your ability to lie to me. But i know you were in over your head and you cared and i forgive you, but ill never forget or be the same again.

Scorpio: You love me they way i need, support and let me support you too. You are the life i need.

Sagittarius: Run away with me, lets be children for a while, forget the world. 

Capricorn: You feel like home, safety, I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone than when i’m talking to you. I crave to be in your presence because I’ve never met anyone like you before so it confuses the life out of me. But you’re taken and too good for me.

Aquarius: Your face and smile was my favorite thing ever, talking to you about crazy things. We could have been something beautiful but you ran away before we had the chance. 

Pisces: You are a baby i feel i need to protect at all costs and your hugs are the best and you are so emotional over everything it is both cute and annoying.


I Origins (2014) - Mike Cahill

5 bullets on this film:

  • This is one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. The story, the details and the characters are so inspiring and deep that I was kind of shocked when the movie was over. Indie movies are the best, man.
  • I really like the contrast and the connection between science and religion, and this movie used this theme very well. I was expecting a boring love story but it ended up messing me up for weeks because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
  • The cinematography and the soundtrack are amazing.
  • The actors are so beautiful, damn. If you like hot people talking about science and religion, that’s it. Astrid Bergès-Frisbey made me question my life choices.
  • Stop saying that this film is not scientifically accurate because no one cares!!!! The story is good, and that’s it. It’s a movie, not a Stephen Hawking’s theory. And it’s not about religion either, it only ‘explains’ the connection between the ‘spiritual world’ and science. 

Standing there at the stage door to the rest of your life. Time to dip your toe into the deep end. Try things. Say hi already. Laugh a lot. Mess up. Apologize. Mess up again. Hug people. Take chances. Trust yourself. Lose things. Get over it. Hold your friends close. Gather your strength. Gain wisdom and beautiful stories. Be  b r a v e , and you’ll have the time of your life.

Sleeping at Last (Atlas) - Starter Sentences


  • “Our universe was clothed in light.”
  • “I guess space, and time takes violent things, angry things and makes them kind.”
  • “We are the dust of dust.”
  • “We are infinite as the universe we hold inside.”
  • “Let there be light, let there be light, let me be right.”


  • “Only streetlights notice me.”
  • “I am desperate, if nothing else.”
  • “God knows, I am dissonance waiting to be swiftly pulled into tune.”
  • “I’ll go anywhere you want me.”
  • “And somehow I’ve fallen in love with this middle ground at the cost of my soul.”
  • “Somehow, all of this mess is just an attempt to know the worth of my life…”


  • “The night sky once ruled my imagination.”
  • “I thought I’d never find you.”
  • “At first I thought you were a constellation.”
  • “You’re as beautiful as endless, you’re the universe I’m helpless in.”
  • “Like a telescope, I will pull you so close 'til no space lies in between.”
  • “I was a billion little pieces 'til you pulled me into focus.”


  • “I put it out of my mind.”
  • “'Til the sirens sound, I’m safe.”
  • “There was an earthquake.”
  • “We folded our hands and prayed.”


  • “We left our date of birth, and our history behind.”
  • “We were full of life, we could barely hold it in.”
  • “Though time is ruthless, it showed us kindness in the end.”
  • “They’re calling off the war.”
  • “Our nights have grown so long.”


  • “Just a secret under lock and key until then.”
  • “While collecting the stars, I connected the dots.”
  • “I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not.”
  • “Make my messes matter.”
  • “Make every little fracture in me shatter out loud.”


  • “You taught me the courage of stars before you left.”
  • “How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.”
  • “I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen.”
  • “The universe was made just to be seen by my eyes.”
  • “How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist.”


  • “And I felt empty handed.”
  • “I patched up every leak that I could.”
  • “Stitch by stitch I tear apart.”
  • “If brokenness is a form of art, I must be a poster child prodigy.”
  • “I’m only honest when it rains.”
  • “I want to tell you, but I don’t know how.”
  • “I want to love you…”


  • “I woke up from the same dream: falling backwards, falling backwards.”
  • “One day I had enough of this exercise of trust. I leaned in and let it hurt, and let my body feel the dirt.”
  • “I rebuild when I break down.”
  • “So show me where my armour ends, show me where my skin begins.”
  • “The heaviness that I hold in my heart belongs to gravity.


  • “We will call this place our home.”
  • “Let the years we’re here be kind.”
  • “A little broken, a little new.”
  • “With each year, our colour fades.”
  • “Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine.”


  • “Some truths, over time, can learn to play nice. Some truths are sharper than knives.”
  • “Some truths can save us.”
  • “I lost touch of who I am and who I was.”
  • “No matter what category you fit into, truth’s got its sight set on you.”


  • “I set out to rule the world with only a paper shield and a wooden sword.”
  • “No mountain dare stand in my way, even the oceans tremble in my wake.”
  • “The tide is brave, but always retreats.”
  • “The years wore on and changed my heart.”
  • “Maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids.”
  • “But Lord, I want to remember how to feel like I did.”


  • “Let’s just say we’re inches apart, even closer at heart, and we’ll be just fine.”
  • “Another pin pushed in to remind us where we’ve been.”
  • “We’ll be just fine. I know that we will.”
  • “Time moves slow when half of your heart has yet to come home.”
  • “I can’t get you out of my mind.”

the new star wars trilogy could have done pretty much anything but it’s giving us a totally unhinged emotional mess of a villain shrouded in mysticism and violence and old world religious themes aimed in the direction of an #iconic redemption arc via a fixation on the heroine who is kind and beautiful but also got to be FUCKING BRUTAL and SCARED and MYSTERIOUSLY GOOD AT THINGS, and they are locked in a crazy narrative triangle of beauty and space magic and laser swords with THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE a force-sensitive runaway storm trooper whose loyalty to his friends and desire to do the right thing could move galaxies, all of them tied together by this all-consuming hunger to belong

anyway totally crazy how they wrote the new star wars trilogy for Me Specifically and no one else. really wild


I just got back from seeing the most heartwarming movie of my LIFE!!  It was so beautiful!!  It was uplifting and amazing and it was alllll about family.  Basically your typical animated hour and a half long kids movie.  But there was something that got tossed in there that made it stick with me, and I just need to gush about it.

The movie I saw was Storks, which frankly looked like just another cute kids movie and I didn’t expect it to be nearly as funny as it was.  The whole premise of the film is that storks used to deliver babies they made in a baby-making factory to people who wrote them letters, but they had come to the decision to stop delivering babies and deliver packages from  So pretty much, whenever people wrote them letters asking for babies, they put them in this giant container and never thought about them again.  Cue Tulip, an orphan who was never delivered to her family and lived at the factory.  She ends up working in the letters department and receives a letter from a little boy named Nate who desperately wanted a little brother.  Long story short, she ends up accidentally making this baby which she and a stork named Jr. decide to deliver.  They go on this whole adventure only to be stopped short of delivering the cutest little pink haired animated baby I have ever seen to her new family, which is when things go crazy.  Basically, all the letters they’d collected over the years asking for babies end up getting inserted into the baby making machine and there are thousands of little babies everywhere.  The only thing to do at that  point was to deliver them all, and here was where things got real.

First, I want to say that there were so many cute babies, all with different colored skin and hair (seriously, some of the hair colors included blue, mint green, bright orange, pink, and yes they were all absolutely adorable).  So the diversity level was waaaay up with these babies.  But I didn’t really get emotional until they actually started delivering the babies.  They started showing the families as they receive the babies they had asked for, and you quickly realize that a lot of these families aren’t what would be considered “typical” families.  The first family they’re shown delivering a baby to is a couple where the woman is disabled.  She’s in a wheelchair, and probably wouldn’t be able to easily have children on her own, so when the stork gives her this baby, the sheer emotion in her in her husband’s eyes made the tears start flowing right then and there.  And that was just the beginning.  There was a Japanese couple, there was a biracial couple, there was a single mom, and yes, there was even a lesbian couple.  All these couples receiving babies they had asked for and basically defining that no family is the same.  It was so beautiful.  Just this one scene had tears streaming down my face for the remainder of the film.  

Throughout the movie, I was under the belief that it was just a cute, funny kids movie (it really was funny).  This little montage made it all real.  It’s going to stick with me for a long time.  It was amazing and I can’t get over it.  Go see this movie.  It’s cute, funny, and absolutely heartwarming.  11/10 would recommend.

Just because she doesn’t have 100+ likes on her profile picture doesn’t mean she’s not gorgeous. Every girl is beautiful, its society thats ugly.
—  oliver sykes