i was in my room
so I didn’t see the world was bleeding
looked down on my floor;
blood was dripping
out my window
I saw chaos
within these walls
I’ll be safe
closing my eyes
i’m going back to sleep
—  t.m.

This was probably already pointed out, but I still felt the need to get that out of my system.

So I’m rewatching the Weblum ep, and I realized. For me, one of Keith’s qualities that made him a good potantial leader was his quick decision making. Yeah sometimes it can seem reckless, but sometimes that’s what you need. But more than that, I realized there are other hints that Keith can be a good leader. 

I honestly think Shiro would have acted the same way here (maybe not the same words/body language, but same processus : state facts, lightening the mood, and praise). Now, I don’t think Keith will be a good leader right off the start, one of the main reason being I think he’ll be the first to doubt himself. There are team dynamics to account for too, but I can see that part go both way.

Also, everything people are accusing Keith to be are things other characters in a leading position/they want to see in a leading position share with him. (Goes to attack instead of thinking about it? Shiro did it too. Can be tactless and will probably be bossy? Allura is like that too. Exemples given by @unxpctedlygreat : The time they saved Slav for Shiro, and the first things Allura says to Lance, about his ears.)

At first I had more to say but I’m too lazy so it will do.

5

last weekend i took a spontaneous trip with @a-state-of-trance-formers / @a-state-of-trance-formers-2 to washington DC. i visited my sister @ji-ming, went to a show at echo-stage, and toured the city / national monuments.

when i returned home, a friend of mine told me that I was “shining lately,” and that she loved to see me shine bright. “each of your posts makes me so happy to see you doing good.”

even though the last few months have been difficult, they’ve been transformative. i think i overall feel more positive and happy than i was this time, last year, even when i was with my ex.

sometimes i feel heavy, but i try to build myself up with small acts of self care. getting my nails done, buying sushi, having my favorite wine and beer after a long day… even a small weekend trip via bus.

these are small things. living through depression is difficult in the moment, but looking back on it isn’t as painful. and if i’m able to pepper in as many kind and happy experiences between my episodes, i hope that when i do look back, i remember the good over the bad.

i feel good. i feel nice.

my apartment management just had to send a memo to everyone on my floor that basically says ‘we’re getting a lot of complaints about the marijuana smell on this floor, but we can’t tell which apartment it’s coming from, so if it’s you… please stop’ 

The way I look at you will never compare to the idea of feelings you have for me. The way I look up to you, the way I crave you. I won’t deny that I rely on you I need you. You keep me in some line of sanity, you keep me grounded. The thought that you wouldn’t even look into my direction with desire one day terrifies me. I’ve loved you the longest than anyone else ever has. I’ve been there for you, I’ve moved my own stars to make sure yours shine brighter. I’ve given you literally all I can give. I’ve taken your name, I’ve moved from everything I’ve ever known just to see you grow into the beautiful person you’ve always dreamed to be. I’ve carried your child, and I’ve let my body go even further into a dis repair that I find even harder to love. I’ve done this all for you. I’ve given the stems and lights of all I have to make sure that you as my light can grow and be who you were ment to be. I can’t help but to shadow in your light, because when I look at you I see success, I see light and I see happiness oh god do I ever see an amount of happiness. Your my soul, and I love seeing you shine. Don’t ever lose your light bear, don’t ever lose your light.

@darkwordsofmine