my legacy to tumblr

anonymous asked:

Oh Melly, you sweet innocent flower you! Haven't we established that Zayn is the sneakiest of secretive hoes? You thought he was gonna let those randos in his bathroom take a peak at his serums and such? He was probably all "dis needs to beh undah lock and keh befour duh people get here, don't let monkeh see it either"

In my blind pursuit of perhaps the Greatest Contemporary Haircare and Skincare Game Artist of Our Generation’s skincare recs, I forgot that Zayn keeps his skincare secrets so close to the boob that he won’t even tell his own mom. Of course he wouldn’t make the rookie mistake of leaving his serums and creams unattended for the rabble to find. He probably handed his intern a lockbox with his nightly routine in it and said “Dis nids to beh someweah dey cahn’t find it. Ah hope yoar willin’ to die foar theh secrets in heah.”