my left testicle

Few more kilos..

See this image? It’s me before and after the Bodybuilding Championship.

Now now, don’t get me wrong, you might be asking about how impossible it is reaching this perfection in few days. I’ll tell you.

I was at the gym frustrated in the fact that i was unaccepted to join the Heavy weight class competition due to lack of 5 kilograms of muscle (i was 84 kg at that time). Until i heard the rumors of a young scientist and his great serum.

I came to his place to order this man-absorbing serum, but he had another idea. He wanted me to be his first human specimen to try the animal-absorbing serum.

I thought it’s really dangerous to try a prototype but he already tried on mice, and that white mice just absorbed a lizard into his own. First time i saw a cold blooded mouse in my entire life. He assures me that everything would be fine as he already prepared an antiserum to reverse the changes. But he still need something, an animal. Then an idea struck at my head.

I took him, and his wierd serums to my house, and shown him my pet python, Raja. It was a Burmese Python weighs 40 kg and 5 metres long. That scientist says “perfect, he’ll do” as he explain how it works.

First off, the serum began working 10 minutes after injection, and lasts for 2 hours after the effect started. Since this is a prototype, he put an “elasticity modifier” on the serum to make my body elastic as the first fail-safe.

After 10 minutes of injection on my body, he said to put the animal inside me in whatever ways i wanted. My mouth, my ass, or anywhere with access inside my body. I took one extreme way, my own cock. Raja is an obedient python as he slithers down into my cock hole and finally into my balls.

And… OH!! OH GOD!! THE FEELING, The feeling your PROSTATE being FORCED to expand inside me. It’s like an ENDLESS ORGASM…!! OH MY GOD!! OHHHH…. OHHHHH!!!!!

Raja kept slithers his thick body into my own cock halfway down, and i can feel his head enters my testicles. My scrotum expands as a foreign being entered its chamber. This “elasticity modifier” made my testicles so elastic it didn’t explode when Raja enters it.

MY GOD…!!! OH!!! He finally slithers in entirely. Forcing my thighs apart as my enormous python filled my testicles… It’s wierd, as i felt a pulling sensation inside it.

“Did you feel anything wierd in your groin” that young scientist asked. I nodded, i told him it was a pull feeling. “Then pull it harder, make that feeling stronger”

I did what he asked, i pulled it so hard, it feels like pulling my pet python further into myself. My mind desired nothing but PURE MUSCLE and POWER.

My cock began to throb so hard, i was moaning… My cock suddenly grows longer, LARGER, STRONGER that it was before. I was in complete bliss. It was a PERFECT sensation of orgasm.

Veins began rising from my groin, up to my chest, to the entire parts of my body. I moaned harder as those veins pulsing, transferring POWER to every body parts and giving them more muscles. My abs grew stronger in every pulse.

My pecs, shoulders, and biceps grow in stronger pulse.

IT… IT NEVER ENDS, even my forearms kept convulsing and growing like bread inside an oven!

My legs were trembling. Not in fear, but in EXCITEMENT. EXCITEMENT to BECOME STRONGER, PERFECT, MANLIER, towards the next competition. I can feel every essence of my pet merging with my whole body.

Last but not least, my cock throbs even harder as it became thicker, veins grew over it like roots. It even becomes more sensitive than before…

The last remnants of my pet was left inside my testicles. I’ve decided to transform them into something else. My semen.

It didn’t take long to change all those residue into pure milky liquid of manhood. I jerk myself off as i came closer to my orgasm. My new and perfect cock suddenly throbs and squirts out THICKER, PURE WHITE and PERFECT Maleness.

My cock dies down and became flaccid. i took some time to enjoy my new self who was enhanced by Raja in front of the mirror. Everything looks perfect, symmetrical, proportional, exceptional, and manly.

That young scientist wrote down his report, “The prototype was a success, i think the elasticity is indeed required for the serum.” As he mentioned that prototype serum i took is free.

Now Raja lives inside my body forever, as part of my own muscles. You know, i didn’t take the heavyweight competition, but the super heavyweight competition due to my excessive muscle weight. But i don’t mind, i’ve won the game.

Rehabbing a Baby Red Squirrel (NB, Canada)

this ^ was the day we got her. She had just learned to open her eyes.


this ^ is one of my favourite pictures of her. she is giving me sass lol


^ all curled up sleeping :)

^ her new cage. a two level ferret cage. we have since added way more things for her to climb on and chew. we are going to look for sticks for her to chew on, since it would be silly to buy sticks at the pet store every week

^ we still give her formula twice a day. sometimes she eats it all, sometimes she doesn’t. and she gets sunflower seeds, rat blocks, rat kibbles, split pees, fresh grapes, and fresh apple. we plan on giving her some bread tonight. She also loves yogurt drops.

submitted by brian-my-left-testicle

freckledandspectacled  asked:

"“You’re still very cocky,” Ed couldn’t help himself from smiling, feeling like his old self if only for a few stray moments. “I’d say it’s one of my strong suits, wouldn’t you?” Oswald questions, a finger stroking from a curled strand of hair down to Ed’s jaw. “Dubious,” Ed deadpans." IT'S SO IN CHARACTER. "Least attractive quality" my saggy left testicle.

I love the word Dubious, I feel like Ed would too heh. And thank you for the compliment. Saying it’s in character really makes me feel accomplished cause that’s always a worry of mine wqjhejkq. <3

TIFU by ignoring testicle pain

So this happened a few days ago. 

I had just gotten home from work (I work from 9-3) and I decided to take a nap for a few hours before I had to make dinner. As I was starting to fall asleep I rolled over and then felt a weird pain in my left testicle. It didn’t feel like it had been hit, but rather like it was being squeezed. I assumed I was laying on it or something and rolled again, but the pain stayed. I wanted nothing more than to sleep and I knew if I had laid on it the pain wouldn’t just go away instantly, so I tried my best to ignore it and managed to fall asleep. This would turn out to be the biggest mistake of my life.

I woke up 2 hours later and I felt like my dick and I felt a pain greater than anything that I’ve ever felt. My left testicle felt like it had been attacked by a cobra, and was having it’s life slowly squeezed from it. I knew right then something was wrong, I’ve been hit in the balls before, but this is something else. I reached down to feel it and the whole thing just felt weird. My parents weren’t home (I’m 17) and there was no way I’d be able to drive myself to the hospital, so I had to call my neighbor who rushed me there. The pain was just getting greater as time passed to the point where I threw up out her car window at one point.

The first thing they did when I got there was give me some morphine. This helped me a little, and I was able to stay still long enough for them to do an ultrasound. While they were comparing my balls, the doctor told me that I was most likely dealing with testicular torsion. For those of you who have only heard of that from Cards Against Humanity but have no idea what it actually is, basically it’s when the spermatic cord twists, and cuts off the blood flow to the testicle. If it isn’t treated soon enough, the testicle could die and have to be amputated. The doctor gave me a lot of crap for going back to sleep instead of taking the pain seriously, because I was really cutting it close time wise and they weren’t completely sure if they were going to be able to save it.

I learned that the way to fix it would be to perform a surgery where they cut open the scrotum and manually untwist the cord. They put me under, and I went to sleep praying that they would be able to save my testicle.

They couldn’t.

Today’s the first time I haven’t been heavily medicated since the surgery, and I want to use this TIFU as a PSA. If you think something might be wrong with your balls, TREAT IT LIKE IT’S SERIOUS. I already have a low sperm count, and the doctor told me it’s very unlikely that I’ll be able to have kids now that I can only produce half as much. Please guys, take care of your testicles.

TL;DR: Decided sleep was more important than my balls, lost half of the Juice Crew

I GREW UP ON HARRY POTTER OKAY ALL THEY FOUND OF WORMTAIL WAS HIS FINGER!!!

To *sarcasm* totally *sarcasm* rid me of my conviction that Talia Hale is still alive the only thing they found of her after the fire was her claws? Yeah okay not suspicious at all, right?

The Hale fire was so bad that her bones were burnt away but not her claws? What the hell are the claws made from then?

I am fairly certain that she ripped her own claws out and left them to fake her own death while running off into the night in wolf form.

Talia Hale is alive okay if nothing else but for the express reason that Peter versus Talia would maketh the mostest excellent television viewing. 

Spoiler: Wormtail was alive!!!

honestly, those whole rumblings of organized crime involvement in konami’s downfall are outlandish (stranger things have happened, but outlandish nonetheless), but at the same time, i think it’s really telling that konami has made such a string of aggressively bad decisions that the theory has gained traction

like, how badly do you have to fuck up before people start seriously considering the possibility that your company is a front for yakuza money laundering

whatever’s going on, i would give my left testicle for a comprehensive book detailing it, because yakuza or no yakuza, i’m certain it’s one hell of a story

anonymous asked:

My left testicle has been hurting, I tried to wash it with febreeze air spray but it won't stop vibrating. I know the doctors recommend brushing 2 times a day, but idk lately my math homework has been too piled up :'( any advice?

what is this