my knees not swollen


A/N: I haven’t done a one shot in awhile, so I hope you all enjoy this weekend treat.

We’ve all seen the photo set of Sebastian’s latest workout routine.

This story is about what happens after one of those intense workouts.

It was a little after 5am when I became aware of his movements throughout the bedroom. This has become his routine, which is now my routine. These early morning and break of dawn excursions with his trainer will be his life for the next three months as he continues to build muscle mass for the upcoming marvel film.

He kisses me on the forehead and said something to the effect of us going out for dinner tonight or staying in and he’ll cook dinner, I can’t tell you what he actually said because my body and mind was physically spent after his late night and early morning sexcapades that kept me in a lucid lull for most of the night, while he slept soundly.

During the week I would usually join him at least once or twice at the gym, but it was the freaking weekend and I deserved to sleep in, which was why I didn’t emerge from beneath the covers until about 6:30am. I began my morning routine, which included a twenty minute meditation session, an hour of yoga and a large cup of Earl Grey.

It was a little after 8:15a when my phone vibrated, I didn’t see the message until about 8:30a, as I was wrapping up my morning yoga on the balcony of our apartment. With a large cup of tea in front of me I sat at the kitchen island and looked at my phone that had two new messages from Sebs. I opened the text and an insatiable ache travelled from my apex straight to my inner thighs.

Just finished my workout, it was a hard one
(pun intended) 🍆😚

How hard?

Oh, babe. It was a solid, take no prisoners, can’t catch your breath, sweat pouring from every pore type of workout. Every muscle is throbbing.

I hateeee you. 😐

Lol, c u when I get home.


He doesn’t respond, the bastard left me on read.

I could call him, but I know what game he’s playing and I refused to be ensnared, so instead I finished my tea and went into the living room and started a Spotify playlist that blared loudly throughout the speaker system. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, I pulled my shirt over my head and gazed into the mirror.

All of these extra workouts have given him more energy than he knows what to do with, so he expels that energy on my body that is covered in bite marks, black and blue bruises on my inner thighs, rug burns on my knees, a swollen bottom lip from his volcanic kisses, chaffed wrists where his ties have held me securely to the bed post or a furniture and other unexplainable scratches.

I smirked when I thought about the state his back and chest was currently in, both had everything from teeth marks, welts and scratches running from the nape of his neck, across his shoulders down his back and on his backside. These past weeks have been fucking unbelievable, pun intended. We are both surprised that I haven’t gotten pregnant yet because we have been fucking reckless because we are fucking reckless.

Twenty minutes later I emerged from the shower to see him standing there naked with a massive hard on. His eyes are dark and menacing as we both gaze at each other not sure who would move first as the water dripped down my body and pooled around my feet.  A sultry smile spreads crosses his lips as my body began to tremble in anticipation of what is about to come.

He crosses the room in two long strides and didn’t waste another second as he rubs his thumb across my lips. He steps closer to me as his fingers trailed from my lips to my neck. He leans into my ear and the heat from his breath on my neck sunk deep into my pores as he kisses me lightly.

I shuddered.

“Sebastian,” I breathe as he continued to kiss every inch of my neck until I began panting for more.

The hunger I felt earlier when he sent the photo was now ravenous as his tongue darted to my nipples, devouring them with a vengeance; a guttural sound escapes my throat as he peeks up at me, his blue eyes salacious, his need burning and mirroring my own. He steps into me and I stepped back as we did a slow dance that led us back into the shower. He turned the knobs and the water came out full forced, pounding against his back, he spun me around and pinned me to the adjacent wall.

He gets down on his knees.

His head between my thighs was delicious; seeing his hair bobbing between my legs was more than enough to drive me to a well needed orgasm.

“Sebastian.” I cooed as I grabbed his hair as the sensation rippled through my legs, skin, and the core of my existences. I briefly floated into nothingness as I felt the heat of his mouth on my own, his semi-hard cock, now pressed firmly against my stomach. He lifted my leg and hooked it over his arm that supported most of my weight. He squeezed my ass and rubbed his throbbing cock at my opening, my eyes clamped shut as I waited for that moment when his pillar would break through my brimming well.

“Look at me,” he said softly.

My eyes slowly met his and his thrust unbounded the screams in my throat. “Sebastian! Oh, God!” I grabbed a hold of  a patch of thick muscles by his arm as he found his rhythm. The bottom of my belly unhinged itself falling away into the unknown as the orgasm prickled throughout my skin.

“No, not yet.” He hissed, pulling out his member, showing me how it glistened with my essences.

“Put it back in.” I begged.

But he ignored my pleas and stood me on my weakened legs that gave out as soon as he released me. He caught me and we both collapsed on the floor. I shook uncontrollably as my body teeters on the cliff waiting impatiently to be tossed over into bliss. My skin was inflamed and raw to the touch, the slightest sensation would turn my body to ash only to flake away into the oblique void of space.

My eyes welled with tears, “please, Sebastian.” I nearly cried.

He interlocked his fingers with my own over my head as his tongue swirled around my nipples, he blew softly on them and the blood rushed to my ears deafening me, he guides himself within my dripping walls and I squeezed his hands as he filled me to the hilt.

“Yes, that’s it.” He whispered in my ear.

My voices falters, “No, no, stop, please.” I pleaded arching my back as I felt the tension in my body as I ascended to an unknown height only to be dragged out to the darkened sea with each rhythmic thrust. He continues this torturous motions, each ascension bringing me closer to the brink only to have him slow down and then start up again, each thrust pulled me down further into the darken euphoric abyss.

He kisses my neck, “let go.”

“Se-bas-tian.” I moaned into his neck. His thrust became manic as he slammed into me repeatedly. Rapture fused itself with my being and together we cease to exist.

Null and void.

Post Note: Okay, now that I got that out of my system I can focus on the next chapter of Convergence. Enjoy your weekend sexy people.

*Permanent Tag List: @melconnor2007@iamwarrenspeace

*Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the permanent tag list.

Draco Malfoy X Reader SMUT

Summary: Y/N is feeling stressed but Draco helps her relax.

Warnings: SMUT SMUT and SMUT! (This is my very first smut, so please don’t judge lol)

Words: 2131 (HOW?)

I had been walking to the common room one evening from the library, down a dark and deserted hallway. 

As I rounded a corner a strong pair of arms pulled me into to a quiet and unused classroom. When I began to protest, a pair of lips landed on mine. They felt familiar but I failed to recognize them.

I pulled away, my heart pounding in my chest and my breaths coming out ragged. 

“Miss me today?” The voice of Draco Malfoy echoed throughout the classroom.

“Draco! You scared me half to death!” I giggled, slightly pushing my boyfriend.

“Did you have a good day?” He asked, wrapping his hands around my waist.

“Not really, I’ve just got finished studying. So I’m a little overworked.” I sighed in exhaustion, resting my head against his chest.

I could feel the slow beat of his heart, making me sleepier and sleepier.
“I know what could help you relax…” he whispered into my ear, giving it a small nibble.

“Draco, not now.” I smiled, hiding my blushing face in his chest.

“Please? Just tonight?” He begged, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

“Okay,” I sighed in defeat. “It better make me relax, it seems tiring.”

“Trust me, I can make you relax.” He said lifting my head with his index finger, making me stare into his gray eyes.

Slowly he reached his head down and began to kiss me passionately, making me melt into the kiss. I could feel his hands going lower and lower down my side, making me push up against his even more.

I could feel the knot in my stomach aching to be released, making my whole body tingle.

“Draco,” I murmured against his lips, giving him a chance to slip his tongue along my bottom lip.

I began to open the buttons of Draco’s shirt one at a time, revealing his pale chest. I reached my hand to touch the side of his face, deepening the kiss even further. With the other hand, I laid it against his hard chest, rubbing him up and down. Soon, he wanted to explore a new area and started to cascade kisses down my neck and collarbone. He sucked until red marks appeared that would stay there for days. Lifting his head, he went back to my lips and started to kiss me hungrily.

I pulled away from his swollen lips and began to go on my knees but Draco stopped me.

“No, tonight is all about making you relax.” He smiled, his eyes bright with excitement.

I gave him a sweet smile in return and stood back up.
“Do you want to lay on the desk?” He asked, grabbing my hand and leading me towards the teacher’s desk.

Following his wishes, I climbed on the desk, lying face down on my back. Teasingly I began to pull off my jumper, leaving me in my nude bra and my skirt.
I could notice Draco’s bulge growing bigger, making his pants tent. 

With one quick motion, I unclipped my bra and slipped my arms out of the straps. I slowly began to tease myself by rubbing my hard, erect nipples.

Barely containing himself, he crawled over me, giving me wet kisses all down my neck. Ending around my breast, he glided his tongue across the outside my nipple, making me squirm under his touch.

“Draco, please.” I whimpered, shutting my eyes and biting my lip.
Suddenly his tongue finds my nipple and he begins to suck it, making me moan in delight. “Right there, oh!”

Giving it a kiss, he moves to my other nipple. I grab onto the edge of the desk, biting lip to keep from moaning too loudly.

His hands travel down my body, stopping on the inside of my thighs. Finally, he trails kisses down my sensitive stomach, making me giggle in excitement. I quickly try to take off my skirt, wiggling around. Within seconds I successfully pull it off, leaving me to be wearing nothing.

I look to Draco to see him staring at me with watchful eyes, waiting for my permission. I give him a curt nod before bending my knees, giving him more view of my wet core. 

Licking his lips, he kisses the outside of my thighs, making me even wetter.
“Oh, please Draco,” I whined, trying to get his soft lips to my dripping sex.
With a small chuckle, his lips lick my outer folds making me sigh in pleasure. He wraps his lips around my bundle of nerves, making me gasp in pleasure. Using the tip of his tongue he strokes my core, circling but not touching my sensitive nub. I try my hardest not to moan too loud, but Draco continues to wrap his lips around my core.

“Yes! Oh, Draco! Please!” 

I soon hear the sound of a zipper being pulled down and feel Draco moaning into my sex, making it vibrate. The unfamiliar feel makes me shudder and quake in delight.

I look down to see Draco sucking on his finger, preparing it to go inside me. He brushes my bundle of nerves with his wet finger, carefully pushing his digit inside my core. 

As he pushes his finger in and out of me, moans of pleasure ring throughout the room.

He picked up the pace, making me pant and groan. Using his thumb to rub my nub in circles, my legs shake and quiver as he slides another finger inside me. Sadly he pulls out his wet fingers, slowly licking away the wetness that coats his fingers. Greedily I lick my lips wanting him to be inside me.

Soon after, he pulls his slacks off revealing his large member and strips his shirt off. Giving himself a slight tug up and down his shaft, he then rubs his member along my wet core. His tip rubs against my nub making me sigh in bliss and play with my hard nipples.

Gently pushing inside me he groans, tilting his head back in pleasure. He slowly thrusts in and out of me, making me moan out, “Faster, please! Oh, Merlin!”
As soon as I said the word faster he began to thrust in and out of me as fast as he could. It was as if the world around me had crumbled, I started to shake frantically and moan in ecstasy.

“Draco! Oh my god!” I whimpered, shutting my eyes closed and wrapping my legs around his waist pushing him deeper inside me.

Without realizing it I dug my fingernails into his back, making him hiss in pain but in a pleasurable way. 

With each thrust he became sloppier and sloppier, meaning he was getting closer to his high. I could hear him grunting and pulled him closer to me, making my perky breasts rub against his chest. Both his hands were on the sides of my waist, his fingers squeezing me as if his life depended on it. I knew I would soon have bruises on my hips, but I didn’t care and didn’t think much of it as he pushed in and out of me. 

Not much longer he reached his orgasm, releasing his seed inside me. Moving his hair out his sweaty face, he reached down gave me a kiss on the tip of my nose making me giggle and take a deep breath.

“Feel better?” He asks with his signature smirk.

“That was amazing, Draco.” I sighed, laying my head back against the desk.
Slowly he slid out of me, pulling me closer to him, “I wish I could take you to my room.”

“I know, but what would they say if they found a Gryffindor asleep naked in your bed?” I laughed, looking into his sleepy eyes. “What time is it?”

“Umm…” Draco lifted his wrist to look at the watch. “Eight.”

“Oh, shoot!” I gasped, shooting go from Draco’s grip. “I promised Harry and Ron I would help them with their Potions homework! At seven!”

I quickly began to pick up my clothes scattered around the classroom and put them on without even saying a word. 

“I’m so sorry!” I poured, giving him a kiss on his lips and a tight hug one last time. “See you tomorrow, sweetie.”

“See you.” He chuckled, crossing his arms. “You still haven’t told them, have you?”

“No,” I said, rolling my eyes in annoyance. “It’s none of their business.”

“Well, I’m sure Potter would be thrilled to know that one of his best friends was dating his enemy.” Draco laughed, giving me a kiss on my cheek.

“Okay, now you’re just distracting me.” I giggled, opening the classroom door.
As I walked down the hallway, I thought about how I would tell Harry, Ron, and Hermione my secret.

For over five months I had been dating Draco and I’ve still never told a soul, not even Hermione who was my best friend since the first year. Who knew how she would react? I could practically hear her in my head tell he how evil he is.

“How could you date him? He is vile and cruel! Don’t you remember when he called me a Mudblood, or when he called you a stuck-up you-know-what?!”
Of course, I remember all the horrible things he said to me, he said he was so sorry and that he didn’t mean the things that he said to me. And of course, me being a nice person I forgave him! 

I finally reached the Fat Lady who was fast asleep tired of all the students walking in and out of the common room.

“Fairy lights,” I said loudly, clearing my throat beforehand.

She stirred awake and yawned, opening the door without a word. I climbed through to see a very upset Harry and Ron sitting at a table working on their Potions.

“Well look who finally decided to show up!” Ron said angrily, giving me a glare.
“I’m sorry, I was too busy…studying, yeah I was busy studying,” I said unsurely. “Let me grab my notes and I’ll help you.”

“Y/N, can I talk to you upstairs?” Hermione said her eyes wide in shock.

“Oh, umm sure?” I said, going over to the bushy haired girl.

Rather firmly, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me up the stairs. 

“Ow! Hermione!” I flinched, as she dragged me.

“Were you with someone?!” She whispered harshly, shutting the door closed.

“No! Why would you think that?” I said defensively, pulling away from her tight grip.

“Because you’re wearing a Slytherin tie!” She laughed, pointing to the tie that was clearing not my red Gryffindor one.

“Oh, my God!” I gasped, ripping the tie from around my neck. “He let me walk around with that on!”

“Who did?” She said, her mouth wide open in shock.

“I can’t,” I whispered wistfully. “You’ll never forgive me…”

“Wait, Malfoy?!” She shouted, her eyes wide open and her face red hot. 

I look down to my shoes, hiding my paling face.

“No! You-you!” She stammered, pacing the room. “I’m so confused!”

“I don’t really know how it happened,” I explained, watching the girl walk back and forth around the wide room. “He apologized for all those things he had said to me and I forgave him and I guess he sort of thanked me with a kiss.”

“When did this start?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and stopped in in front of me.

“Five months ago…” I squealed in horror, my face blushing pink.

“FIVE- five months?” She pacified herself and stared at me with her brown eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was frightened you would be upset with me,” I confessed, biting my lip.

“Well at least you got that part right,” she muttered, rubbing one of her temples with her forefinger.

“What do you mean?” I frowned, narrowing my eyes at her.

“Did you seriously think Malfoy likes you?” She rustled. “He-”

“Excuse me?” I said harshly, clenching my fists.

“He’s using you, Y/N!” She screeched again.

“You don’t know him!” I yelled back, almost to the point of pulling out my wand.
“Yes, I do!” She said, going back to her calm voice. “I’ve known him since the first year! He’s despicable and cruel!”

“No, he’s not! He would never use me!” I screamed.

Suddenly the girl’s dorm room opened and Lavender Brown stepped in, “I thought we heard yelling,”

“Yes, you did,” I growled in her way. “You don’t know him, Hermione. At least he doesn’t use me like Ron does you.” I snapped, pushing past Lavender and down the steps.

“Y/N is every-” Harry began, standing up out of his chair.

“Don’t talk to me.” I hissed, walking out of the common room and into the dark hallway.

{A/N If you would like a part 2 of this story, please make sure to comment and like!}

So yesterday, I was walking to the mall a few miles away, in order to apply for a job. For context, I was wearing a baggy sweater, a hood that covered my hair, and loose sweatpants. 

Anyhow, I was walking along the road, hands in pockets, and this car slows down, and starts trailing me. I start walking faster, and the car keeps it up. Eventually, I had to stop, because I had been walking for around 40 minutes, to take a sip of water. The car window rolled down, and the guy inside shouted at me, offering a ride.

I had three options that I could think of at the moment. 

1) Get in the car, which could lead to my being kidnapped, raped, and/or killed.

2) Say no, get attacked anyways, which could lead to my being kidnapped, raped, and/or killed.

3) Do nothing, continue to be stalked, which could lead to my being kidnapped, raped, and/or killed.

So tell me, men, what the fuck was I supposed to do here? Blindly trust a stranger, putting my life in the hands of a creepy man who had been following me for a half a mile? Reject this stranger, and risk an outburst of violence? Or do nothing, and risk the same thing happening anyways?

What the fuck was I supposed to do?

I’m a girl with no muscles, no strength, who can’t run very fast. I have a weak heart, weak joints, weak everything, because I am disabled- I have lupus. I can’t very well run away from danger with ease, nor can I fight an attacker. In a situation like that, I have very few real options.

What the fuck was I supposed to do? 

For those of you wondering, my solution was simple. I turned and ran into the field on my left, as fast as I could. I ended up with cuts and scrapes all over my legs, lost and alone with no data on my phone, heart pounding in my chest with a panic attack, with my arthritic knees swelling up. I sat, alone in the heat, with the sun on my face, for a good 30 minutes, trying to hide, not making any sound. I am now sunburned, with swollen knees, with bandages all over my legs, and even the day after, my chest hurts from the fright. 

What the fuck was I supposed to do?

Oh boy

Well I posted earlier about my closer quitting this morning. This has been a very long day.

So I start the shift agonizing on moving people around trying to find a place for three people that don’t know how to do drive thru.

We are slammed of course, and someone took eight minutes to order in the drive thru. We have a deal for like half the price it would normally be for a little lunch box type thing. You get a bottled water, a piece of fruit, a bag of chips, and a little sandwich or salad or what ever we happen to have in our cooler. A couple weeks ago we had a deal where you could get a fruit smoothie thing in a bottle instead of the water.

Those juices are 5 bucks a pop. Now this lady gets to the window and my poor cashier informs her hey this discount is no longer valid so you can either pay full price or we can do the waters instead. Oh she was not pleased. I happened to be near the window so I have took over just saying loudly enough for them to hear to the cashier that, essentially, there is nothing we can do.

I realize she’s not gonna take it so I go over to explain.

“So You’re not gonna give me the discount?”

“No, sorry, that deal is no longer valid and there is no way we can ring it in.”

“Well aren’t you a manager?”

“Well, no, I’m a supervisor.”

“Okay well then give me the discount.”

“I have said there is no way to ring it in.”

“Well I know it says limited time only but you should honor it give me the discount.”

“There’s nothing I can, do. Sorry.”

I walked away she muttered she wanted the corporate number so I wrote it down and she tried to argue it was the store number. I explained nah it is absolutely not.

Dumb bitch. God damn. Really? You acknowledge it says short time sale and you won’t accept I can’t give you the discount. Fucking shit bitch. Go away.

For just a moment I thought about ringing it through and charging for the waters which would lower the price significantly but then I thought, no. No I’m not rewarding your behavior.

She can call and complain, I stood by policy, and all of the four people with headsets and the three people by the window witnessed me handle her the most calmly I have ever dealt with a customer. So she can Fuck right the hell off to corporate.

As for the rest of the day, I had a guy get angry with me for accidentally making a larger size tea. Dude do you know what every single other customer has ever said when I accidentally did that? Oh shit man a free upgrade cool here’s a tip! So Fuck you.

Fuck the woman that let her kid run behind the counter so I almost whacked him with a tray full of dishes (our door to the back is right at the entrance so). Like he’s eight or something he needs too get that he can’t do that.

Add to that just steady stream of assholes who couldn’t understand why it was taking more than thirty seconds to make five blended drinks. Hold your fucking horses Jesus.

Just. Ugh. I’m tired, I didn’t get a break today and my knees are swollen and my shots and heels hurt.

I’m hungry.

Taken PT 5 (Ethan Dolan fanfic)

A/N 3 parts in 1 day? I’m feeling quite productive tbh and @dangly-feather-earring-dolan is so hype for next parts it’s hard to say no, I might even do part 6 but set it to drop tomorrow since I won’t be home to write. I love you all and I hope you enjoy part 5 babes ❤❤

Warnings: This is smutty my loves! This is actually my first time writing smut!

Your POV

“Do you like what you see, princess?”

I suck in a breathe as he turns around, smirking.

“Answer me babe, do you like what you see?” I see a darkness come through his eyes, lust. I nod and he slowly walks over to me, his towel hung low on his hips, his body tan and tone. I sat up, he took my hands in his, he leans in closer, our lips almost touching. I realized what was happening and I pull away, backing up and getting out of bed so I was standing on the other side of the bed.

“I- I’m so sorry for staring!” I go to run out of the room but Ethan beat me to the door, he closed it and slowly approached me, he soon had me pin to the wall.

“If you really don’t want this tell me now, if not make sure you want this because I won’t be able to stop if I start, doll.” I look into his eyes, he sure wanted this and if I’m honest, I did too. What the hell, why not, I’m never leaving, seeing anyone I know anymore, I can do this one thing I want to. I crash my lips against his roughly, my hand reaches and tangles into his hair near the nape of his neck. His hands find their way to my hips and he moves the shirt up to feel my skin against his. He moves his large hands upwards to cup my breasts. He squeezes and I moan into our kiss, he breaks the kiss and places his hands on my ass.

“Jump.” I do as I’m told and jump so that my legs can lock around his hips. He rest me on his bed and takes off the boxer briefs he lent me. I sit on my knees and take off my (his) shirt, he licks his swollen lips and tackles me on the bed, attacking my neck with kisses and nips here and there.

“This doesn’t seem fair, you have a towel on and I’m naked.” I moan, Ethan pulls away from my neck smirking, he grips his towel but before he could take it off, he get interrupted by his phone ringing. I groan but as he leans over me to grab his phone he whispers:

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll still please you.” He answers his phone, confused as to what he meant I go to grab the shirt but he throws it behind him and gives me a warning look. He places his hand on my chest and lightly applies pressure. I lay on my back and he spreads my legs, suddenly I feel his fingers run their way across my core. I throw my head back and he slides a finger in, playing with my clit with his thumb, I grip the sheets as he inserts another finger. He says bye to whoever he was on the phone with and places his full attention on me.

“I have to leave in 20 minutes but before I do I need to take care of you, right princess?” I moan and flips me over so I’m laying on my stomach. I whimper at the loss of fingers pleases me but I suddenly feel a stinging sensation on my ass.

“Use your words when you speak to Daddy.” I gasp, so he has a daddy kink? Interesting.

“Yes daddy, please take care of me.” I bite my lip and feel the pleasure return to me, although something replaces his thumb. I look down to see Ethan’s head in between my thighs, sucking sweetly on my clit, rolling his tongue on it. I lace my fingers through his hair and let out one final moan as my orgasm rips through me. Ethan kitten licks my sensitive area as I come down from my high. I pant as he leans up to attach his lips to mine.

“I have to go on a job princess, I’ll be back later, Gray will have to take you shopping, I’m sorry I can’t go, but get yourself something nice babe.” He hands me $100 bill and being the cheeky shit he is, bites gently on both my nipples before kissing me and quickly getting dressed.

Ethan rushes out his door, but not before telling me to pick out anything from his closet to wear for today. I ended up grabbing a t-shirt that was way too long and sweats that were way too big. I take a shower, freshening up before getting dressed, I have knotted the shirt in the front so that it wasn’t too long, I tie to drawstring tight so the sweats don’t just slip off my figure. I walk downstairs to meet Grayson, and we were off! We shopped almost all day, I got shirts, skirts, jeans, leggings, bras, panties, and while Gray was checking out something at the Nike store, I bought a set just for Ethan.

We arrived home and to my surprise, Ethan was sitting on the couch watching some stupid show, he was scrolling through his phone when he looked up at me, his eyes darkened like this morning the instant he saw my outfit, his shirt and sweats, he loved it. I showed him all the stuff I got, knowing he was only interested because he could invision me without his clothes on. His emotion changed though, when he saw the Victoria Secret bag. Ethan looked furious, he grabbed my hand, pulling me upstairs leaving all the bags but the Victoria bag, that was in my hand, downstairs.

“You went panty shopping with my brother?!” He accused as soon as the door was shut. I furrowed my brows, placing the bag on his bed and placing my hands on my hips.

“Actually-” he cut me off.

“Why the fuck would you do that Y/N?!” I sigh, I was getting annoyed at this point, he wouldn’t hear me out but he would accuse me?

“Grayson was in the Nike store when I bought everything, including this.” I search through the bag and grab the black lingerie wrapped in pink paper. I hand it to him and his eyes widen, his tongue licks his lips. He opens the paper and takes a good look at the bra, panties and stockings that were in front of him.


I have written this post millions of times trying to figure out the right words to say (and because Tumblr didn’t post the first attempt…rude).

There’s a thirty five pound difference between these two photos…

Not only do I look/feel physically different, I’m also mentally changed.

This journey has been a long & hard road filled with obstacles (mainly food, let’s be honest with each other) and as I approach my one year work-out-aversary (June 5th), I can’t help but reflect on how much my habits have changed.

I probably hadn’t worked out in at least a year to a year and a half. I was still vaguely active, but nowhere near enough to counteract my horrible food choices (which consisted of all of the pastas, carbs, and starches a girl could want & more). I didn’t realize it, but I felt horrible:

1. My back hurt because of a pinched nerve
2. My knees and ankles stayed swollen
3. I had migraines at least once a week
4. Crazy amounts of acne

Just to name a few.

Now… I work out 5-6 times a week and eating much, much better. I’m not saying that I no longer see pasta or carbs or starches, but I definitely view them in a different light – they’re fuel, not just stomach fillers. I try to stay away from simple carbs and eat the complex ones (it cuts the guilt in half haha). I now no longer have back pain (take that pinched nerve!), my ankles can fit into boots and strappy shoes without looking strangled, and I can’t tell you the last time I had a migraine. Not to mention my skin is completely clear (minus the occasional stress break out… thanks school).

It’s amazing what a little motivation and a lot of support can do for a person. I have great friends and great coworkers… they’ve kept up with me and showed crazy amounts of support when I was feeling down or defeated.

I started this journey nearly a year ago because my boyfriend at the time (we have since broken up) weighed less than me… That was a mindfuck that I was not prepared for… And it got me off my ass, so though we had a shitty end, I do have him to thank for that.

I guess what I’m saying is that regardless of your beginning motivations, it’s possible to keep going and it’s possible to see amazing results – inside and out – and it’s definitely possible to be your own damn motivation.

Which is why I’m my own woman crush this Wednesday 💪🏻

Adventures with mod neji

Wow okay so y'all are probably wondering where we went. Well um I fell off the side of a cliff? Yea this is mod neji btw. I was backpacking in Utah and a boulder shifted underneath me and my friend while we were walking by the edge of the canyon. So first of all, I was out there for almost a month, and I finally got back. We don’t get cell service out there. The accident happened yesterday, so luckily it wasn’t like we were stuck. But basically this girl ended up snapping her tibia in half and dislocating her ankle. I was pretty much fine, since I managed to grab onto the canyon wall. She only fell about 10 feet, but clearly it was enough to break her tibia. This is some 127 hours shit I swear to god. I mean, I WAS fine, until I realized I’d need to carry her down the canyon to get back to the main camp. For a bit of perspective, I’m small. Not tiny, but I’m only about 5'6, although I can bench about 180 and my push up PR is 82. Now, my friend here, let’s just call her, Jen. She’s about 160 pounds and 5'10. I was honestly really tempted to leave her and come back with help, but it was already late and it was 30 degrees at this point. We didn’t have all our gear because we just wanted to go look for more water sources, and we told my mentor that we’d be gone for maybe 2 or 3 hours. I thank my lucky stars that at 4 am that morning, my mentor woke me up for morning training. He’s been an emt for almost 20 years, and he does search and rescue now. He started training me a few months ago when I said I was interested in some sort of physically grueling job, but I didn’t want to join the military or the police. So that morning, he simulated a scenario where a child was lost inside a canyon, and all we know is that their leg is severely injured and they’re somewhere south of the creek. So basically I had to search for a fake child that morning and carry a 100 pound backpack to simulate giving someone a piggy back ride. Somehow, during the real life situation, I managed to stay calm. Also I puked so many times to the point where there was nothing to puke up anymore. So I ended up carrying Jen on my back for about 5 miles, and luckily it was down the canyon, and I found a route that wasn’t steep. So about 4 miles in, I hear a snap. Yea, I look down and my knee does not look right. It’s swollen and bruised, and the kneecap looks like it’s too far to the left. I really wasn’t sure what to do, but I decided to try setting the kneecap back in place since it looked like my kneecap popped out. It was super painful when I set it back in, but it felt better. Now thank the lord, my boyfriend just started to come looking for us. It had been almost 4 hours and I’m never late. I hadn’t even noticed that I had a giant slash on my thigh until he pointed it out. He found me with Jen on my back, and I was panting and having dry heaves. I was having about 32 breaths a minute, which for some perspective, 18 is the average I believe. Once help arrived, I guess I started clinging onto my boyfriend for like 30 minutes and I wasn’t crying or anything. I was just clutching onto his shirt and staring at the ground. Tbh if I hadn’t been training for search and rescue in the first place I probably would’ve panicked immediately. But honestly, I don’t think simulations truly prepare u for when ur in that situation. They help u a lot, but not knowing what kind of injuries you’re dealing with and not knowing the area is scary. Both of us are fine, although Jen will be in a cast for awhile. Also, I’m not even old enough to be part of a real search and rescue team. I’m just training for it. Also a few of my toenails fell off again and I’m salty about it bc they keep falling off it’s so gross 😒

Just wanted to say a huge “Thank You” to everyone for the unbelievable support. My knee hurts and my eyes are swollen from crying, but my heart is full, my motivation is strong and my man and family are simply amazing 😍😍 Plus, I can still look cute rockin the leg brace and crutches for a few weeks 😉😙. Thanks again to those that have sent their support, funny comments, prayers and offers of volunteerism 😄.
#me 💋💋💋

I say this mantra to remind myself of who I am and what my purpose is.

I have only one purpose in life to please men. Everything else in life is just a distraction from pleasing them. When I am not pleasing men I have no function I am worthless. I live to be a pig cow for any man to enjoy using.

I know that if I am to be the best pig cow I will need to change my mind and my body. I am ashamed of my body, it is not good for any man to enjoy. My body is not my own, it is there to be used by men. To be moulded to their liking in any way they see fit.

My tits should be squeezed and pumped like the udders they are, every man should want to touch and enjoy roughly playing with them. They need to be stretched, rolled, slapped and pulled until they are large and swollen. They can then be milked and pumped at any time even during sleep.

Only cows have udders that are large and swollen.

My cunt is useless and only serve to give me pleasure only sexual torture and pain. It must be pumped and spanked to make it swollen and sore, to remind me to never use it and to never orgasm. This goes doubly for my clit, it should remain swollen at times.

Cows have no need for cunts except to be humiliated and punished.

My asshole, ass cunt, should become loose and gaping. Any man can use this and can feel how much of a pig that I am. My ass cunt needs to be loose enough to be fisted otherwise no man will want to use me.

Pigs have loose ass cunts so that every man can see that they should be abused.

The rest of my body should be thin and shaven to attract men to inspect and use me.

Pleasure is not for me, pleasure is irrelevant, it is only important to be of use for any man that wants to take me and use me as his ass slut. If I should experience pleasure I must say so, so that I can be punished. If I ever lie about receiving pleasure and am found out, no man will want to use me and I will become worthless. I willingly deprive myself of pleasure as I do not deserve it.

Pleasure is for men and not for Pig cows

I am all of these: Whore, cum slut, cockwhore, cockslut, fucktoy, fuck pig, cum dumpster, fuckhole, cumrag.
Any term used to humiliate me. My place is on my knees, breasts tied and clamped, pussy pumped and swollen and ass gaping. I deserve to be degraded humiliated and used. I will enjoy any form of punishment and degradation as deep down I know it is right.

Punishment is rightly received by any man as it helps me to learn to obey and become the pig Cow I am. I will accept punishment and learn from it.

I exist to please, to be used by cock and to bring pleasure. My body is for others to enjoy and degrade.

I am a Pig Cow.

Chapter Ten

“Dreamland, take me there ‘cause I want your sex. If my body had a say, I wouldn’t turn away. Touch, make love, taste you”

A/N: here is the long awaited sex scene that all of you have been asking for!!! and there’s more to come after this hehe

I saw my reflection in the mirrors that line the wall leading to Niall’s apartment. The ride over to his flat was tense and quiet, only Niall’s fingers strumming my inner thighs as my nerves started to get the best of me. Am I sure of this?

Niall turns the keys, opening the door to his clean flat smelling of man and bleach.

“Can tell my cleanin’ lady’s been here, want a drink?” Niall closes the door and heads to the fridge.

Keep reading

things i love...

things i love: drawing viktor’s hair *___*

sooo i hope you did not forget me already~ there may be an update today! currently i’m working on the last page from the 3 i’m posting usually so yaaay! i had awful lot of work in the past 2 weeks (mostly sewing) T__T and at the beginning of this week i had an accident… i fell with my rollerblades really hard on my knees and now i’m not allowed to move my legs for 1 week and i’ll need two more weeks rest. i did not break anything but i have an awful bruise (both of my knees) and it’s really swollen… but that means i’ve got looots of time to work on the doujinshi! are you excited? X3

Did anyone get the license plate of the truck that hit me?

Holy hell, am I sore this morning! My knees and palms where I hit the pavement are scraped and swollen. (Very sexy) And the muscles across my chest and back where I braced myself so I wouldn’t smash my face when I took the digger are pulled tight and aching! 🙄 such a klutzy girl !

Coffee and ibuprofen it is!

No plans for this weekend. I wonder what kind of trouble we can get into? The pool didn’t happen - as I knew it wouldn’t - so maybe we’ll head to the beach. Ugh! It’ll be so crowded

Happy Saturday y'all!!!

The Corrupted

“It was the first fissure in the columns that had upheld my childhood, which every individual must destroy before he can become himself. Such fissure and rents grow together again heal and are forgotten, but in the most secret recesses they continue to live and bleed.”

Kim Taehyung // Character Introduction

Rated: M+, mature content

Warnings: Events of physical and emotional abuse, suggested suicide, alcohol consumption and smoking. 

Originally posted by the-rap-man

 It’s been about three days since I’ve bothered returning home. Just the thought of it twisted my insides; I walked down the familiar alleyways that filled my nostrils with the stench of an unwelcome homecoming. Recently my close friend, Hoseok, had been breathing down my neck until finally I caved promising to see my mother.  

It got me thinking, human beings are interesting. In my 21 years of life, I have come to notice how we all choose to be unhappy or how we all allow others to let us be unhappy because of the concept we were taught about since birth. The concept of love, bonds we make with others should matter more than the bonds you make with yourself. I passed by a small shop and as I looked, inside a child was crying to his mother about a toy he couldn’t have while the mother ignored him and his obvious need for the small plastic figure. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the coins I carried to see I had only two dollars. I sighed, not even I could help the child find his happiness. I too, have become someone who turned his back on a person’s cry for help, a cry for a way out in need of a direction, of a small light to make them smile.

I continued walking kicking pebbles with my old snickers. I felt my feet grow heavier and my steps become slower and smaller. With a couple more turns I would be home. Knowing this, my stomach twisted. I was going back to my unhappiness for the “happiness” of my mother and the sake of the bond I created with a dear friend. Humans really are interesting or rather, really stupid. With the freedom to choose we can be tremendously happy or tremendously unhappy. This freedom is hazardous, this freedom is a dangerous disease because you have no one to blame when looking back, you notice at the end of the day you were responsible.

I now stood at the scratched cherry red door that brought back too many memories that should be buried deep. I felt the need to turn back and never return, however the cries of my mother kept me from moving one inch back.

“Honey please, I’m sorry I’ll clean it up!” There was a loud crashing sound, I busted through the doors in time to stop my drunken father from hitting my mother.  “You ungrateful brat why are you even here no one wants you! You’re nothing but a mistake!” Once again, just like everyday, my father’s groggy voice, filled with hate and the stench of alcohol increased as he laid a punch on my ribs I knew that tonight would be another sleepless night, another night with the pain of not being able to fight back. I noticed at how weak mother looked- so small, so pale, her beaten face painted with fear and blood. She looked so desperate and in need of help and saving, her swollen, bruised eyes shed tears, just as they did everyday. “Do the world a favor and kill yourself!” The last of his abuse struck my jaw making me fall on my knees, holding my swollen ribs while a pool of drool and mixed blood escaped my mouth. Tired he wobbled to the wall, sliding down opening another bottle. He scoffed it down without a hint of shame. Mother had left to her bedroom while I silently curled up on the floor, what have I done to be put in this life?

I thought back to the other day, I was sitting under a tree, watching children play on the slides and swings, their parents happily chasing and pushing them and, as the sun began to set, they left holding hands while I was left feeling nothing but pure, pure envy. So why is it that I was stuck in this small shoe-sized apartment, hugging myself trying to think about anything but my broken ribs and sprained swollen jaw? Why was it that to my mother who had never committed even the smallest of sin, married someone so dark and gave birth to such a weak son who was only good at getting beat? Tears rolled down my face, not from the pain or misery, but out of pure habit. After a while of hating myself more than I already do, I stood once I knew I had enough strength to walk. “There you go running away like a coward. Do us a favor, don’t ever return you’re nothing but a burden.” Those final threats no longer meant anything to me.

I ran out not having a plan or knowing where I was headed but as long as I wasn’t there, I’m sure I can find my small happiness.

       <A Summary>    <The Liar: Kim Namjoon>

anonymous asked:

my hc for dork even is that he does silly things like trip on the sidewalk or eat too many sweets when watching a movie with isak and make himself have a stomach ache, and then make isak cuddle him for hours to make him feel better. and then when isak is like 'ev, i have to pee. i'll be back in a minute' and even pouts the entire time isak is gone, and frowns when he returns 'my belly hurts more than it did before you started rubbing it' or 'my knee is definitely more swollen, pls never leave'

this is canon now. even will do anything for cuddles tbh. 

Get Up, Soldier

The morning is cool and rainy as I struggle to get out of bed. My feet and ankles are still hurting at the same levels of two days ago but I must get up.

My knees are swollen and stiff as my right hip explodes with pain as I lift it trying to roll over but I must get up.

The tightness in my lower back adds its resistance to my weariness sending my hip to new levels of unexplored pain but I must get up.

The momentum has me on my left shoulder, screaming it’s discontent, as the scar tissues grind and the fluids shift but I must get up.

Sore feet swing over and touch the floor, begging not to be used. The knot in my hip makes me shudder and take a deep breath but I must get up.

Teeth clinched, leaning forward, weight shifting, knees grinding, back popping, feet tightening, ankles protesting, hip extending and lower back flexing…

I have gotten up…
- Tauganra

I started playing tennis and somehow face planted the pavement. It left a white mark on the court and you could see pieces of my skin on the court. I got up and played 6 more games, THEN BEAT TWO MEAN 40-15. And now my knee is swollen and I’m in so much pain but I was worth it.


Last night I came home drunk (brother in law who doesn’t drink drove)to find my mom bought me kettle corn. Every summer in NH my Nana would take me to a craft fair that would have a few small rides and games and this one guy cart that made kettle corn. My Nana would say it kind of funny it’s like her Irish came out when she’d say it. It always made me laugh when she’d say kettle and bottle and I had Patrick laughing trying to teach him to say it like her.
Woke up super hungover and my knee was very swollen. I thought it was just the weather the past few days but it was killing me. I skipped the gym and went for a fast paced walk after dinner. They were taking down the carnival that’s pretty much been in my back yard for the past few days and I have to say I’m looking forward to not having music blaring until after 11pm.